Chapter 3 younger brother

4 I sat up suddenly, and heard myself yell.It was already noon in the dazzling sunlight, and the room was boiling with heat.The sweat on the back flowed down one by one, as if many caterpillars were crawling on it, itchy and numb.The straw mat on the bed was covered with a large black sweat stain, and it was another scorching hot day.The room I shared with Xiaoyu was separated by plywood, only five tatami mats in size, except for a bed and two bamboo cages, it couldn’t fit anything.Because it faces west, in the afternoon, the sun comes in fiercely, and the room is like a steamer, making people uneasy.

I sat on the bed, my head felt tired from waking up, but my throat was dry and burning.A woman's shrill laughter came from outside the window, probably those bar girls on Jinzhou Street were so hot that they ran to the alley to enjoy the cool and make fun of them.The bar in Lane Yuli is not yet on the market, but the radio is turned up, blasting first-rate frantic jazz.Gradually, I seemed to remember that just now, I saw my younger brother in a hazy moment.He was standing at the head of my bed in his Scout uniform, the one with the shoulder straps.I saw his snow-white baby face clearly, he stretched out his hand with a smile, and said to me,

"Ah Qing, where is my harmonica?" Last year, for my younger brother’s birthday, when he was fifteen, I gave him a harmonica. I bought it at the Gongxue Society. The butterfly spleen cost two hundred and seventy yuan, and it cost me half a month’s money for delivering newspapers.The younger brother loves it so much that he can't bear to put it down. He puts the harmonica in the back pocket of his trousers when he goes to school, and puts it under the pillow at night.When I fell asleep on the bed, I had to take it out and play it a few times. At first, my younger brother could only play single notes. Later, I taught him harmony, and he could learn it as soon as he learned it, and he played more disciplinedly than me.At that time, "Treading the Snow and Looking for Plum Blossoms" was being taught at school, and my younger brother would play this light and flowing piece every day when he came home.Sometimes when we went to bed and turned off the lights, my younger brother would take out the harmonica and cover his head under the blanket to play. The sound of the harmonica came out from under the blanket, muffled.Once, my father was woken up, and he rushed in angrily, and lifted the bed for my younger brother. The younger brother was afraid of being beaten, so he quickly put his hands on his head and wove into a ball.Father watched and smiled.That was the only time I saw such a kind smile on my father's stern face covered with gray lines.I jumped out of bed, dragged out my bamboo cage from under the bed, and pulled out the butterfly harmonica I gave to my younger brother from inside.It has not been wiped for several months, and the white copper skin of the harmonica is a little yellow.I put it on the edge of the sun and blew it a few times, the sound is still very clear, but it has a musty smell.The harmonica was in my trouser pocket the day I ran away from home.It's the only thing I bring from home.

It has been more than three months, this is the first time, I think of my younger brother, the past three months have been a series of days without remembering billions.During the day, we lurk everywhere, like hibernating poisonous snakes, curled up in their own caves one by one.It wasn't until the night came that we woke up. Under the protection of the darkness, like a group of bats, we began to fly frantically in the night sky of Taipei.In the park, we seemed to be a group of forbidden souls, on the steps of the Lotus Pond, circling in circles, dancing a sacrificial dance, chasing each other crazily, chasing each other late into the night and into the early morning.We fled to Nanyang Street, and swarmed into Xin Nanyang. In the air-conditioning smelling of urine, we appeared like octopuses, and caught those people with blurred faces in the back row of the cinema. The shooting of the Ximending neon network slipped into the stinky public toilets on the upper, middle and lower floors of the Zhonghua Mall.We use our eyes, gestures, and footsteps to send out all kinds of mysterious signals to contact our fellow travelers.We are in Wanhua, we are in Yuanhuan, we are in Sanshui Street, we are in Zhongshan North Road——we sneaked into the damp alleys, and flashed into the dark and rotten rooms.

In the inn left over from the decaying Japanese occupation era.It wasn't until late at night, until the night was really late, and there were no more pedestrians on the road, that we crawled back to the street one by one from every corner. At this time, these deserted, undefended streets really belonged to us. of.With a stack of sweaty NT dollars in our hands, at the moment before dawn, we dragged our semen-drained bodies, presumptuous and exhausted, and strolled back to our respective caves. For more than three months, my head has been empty, as if someone lifted my head cover and dug out my brain at once. I have no thoughts or feelings at all.My younger brother, my most beloved younger brother, I never thought about him.But at that moment just now, he was clearly standing in front of my bed, so close to me, stretched out his hand, and said to me with a smile: Ah Qing, where is my harmonica?I remember I grabbed his hand and it was cold.Just like that night, my father went to bed first, and I sat next to my brother to guard him. I went to pinch his hand, but his hand was so cold that I shuddered.We put lots of dry ice the size of bricks under his body.The dry ice kept emitting cold smoke, and Diwa seemed to be sleeping in the mist.At the municipal funeral home they put him in a small coffin.His small coffin was thin, like a wooden box. Taking advantage of their unsuspecting, I slipped into the morgue and lifted the lid of Diwa's coffin.The younger brother was lying on his back in a very cramped position, and they made up for him, putting a light amount of rouge on his snow-white baby face.They folded his hands over his chest, and his shoulders were squeezed and arched.Diwa seemed to be pretending to be asleep... her face was mischievous and funny, as if she couldn't help but laugh at any moment.We transported my younger brother to the Bitan Cemetery. Two coffin-carrying porters with rough hands and feet lifted the coffin out of the car and bumped into each other. The head of the coffin hit the car door with a bang.Furious, I walked over, gave the porter a hard push, and shouted:

"Easy, you know?" "Still up? The sun is drying my ass" Li Yue poked her head in and smiled, she was only wearing bra briefs and a short-sleeved pink silk pajamas, her curly hair hadn't been removed yet. "Has Xiaoyu come back?" I asked. "I'm asking you, where did that little glass go wild last night?" Li Yue also squinted at me, and burst out laughing, "Ah Qing, you're honestly calling Zhao, you caught a big fish last night. Is there any fish? Is it a blue-and-white or an old loach?" "Is there any food left?" I ignored Li Yue.

"You haven't paid off the food you owed me last month, do you still want to eat?" "Pay one hundred first, that's okay, right?" I took out a one hundred yuan bill from my trouser pocket, and Li Yue snatched it, and said with a smile: "Hurry up, the porridge you made this morning has turned rancid." I followed Li Yue to the room next to her.Her room is only separated from ours by a thin layer of plywood.When Liyue's GI lover, Johnny, lived with her, she arranged our room as a small living room.After Johnny abandoned her and returned to the United States, she sublet it to Xiaoyu, only charging him four hundred yuan a month, and letting him take lunch.After Xiaoyu got acquainted with Lao Zhou, he often didn't come back to live, so he asked me to move in, and divided him into half of the rent.

Liyue is Xiaoyu's cousin, she loves Xiaoyu very much, and often grabs Xiaoyu's cheek and calls him Little Glass.Liyue has a great physique and is coquettish. She is very popular in New York bars, and those American soldiers call her Lili.Liyue held her two big tits in her hands, raised her face, and said disdainfully: "What are you afraid of? I have a lot of capital." Sometimes when she went to work during the day, Abasang at home was busy with work, so she would put her big tits on the table. Little Johnny, the three-year-old bastard son of Johnny, came to our room and asked us to watch.That bastard was a cutie, with pure white baby flesh, green eyes, but black curly hair.Li Yue originally threw her bastard to the orphanage, but she was reluctant and went to pick him up again.Li Yue said, the little bastard's father is a very handsome American man.There was a photo of him in a white navy uniform on her case, grinning, with dazzled eyes, and a flirtatious look.Li Yue lived with him, stuck with him for a year, and gave birth to a little bastard for him. He patted his ass and slipped back to the country.There were only three letters in total, sending twenty dollars to buy little Johnny a Christmas present.Li Yue sighed helplessly: "American bird, is he very conscientious?" But she said that she didn't hate him, she forgave him, and she would sleep with him even when he came.

"Ah, there are squid to eat!" I saw a piece of sauerkraut fried squid and a bowl of white porridge on the dining table in Liyue's room. "Sister Liyue, you are really a good person!" I touched Liyue's firm and moist shoulder. "Fuck you, don't flatter me," Li Yue sat across from me and said with a smile, "Let me ask you, where did Wu Zai go to eat wild food last night?" "Xiaoyu? I found an overseas Chinese godfather from Tokyo." "Yi Niang!" Li Yue giggled, "That little glass likes to eat 'sashimi'! Last year, there was an overseas Chinese from Osaka who opened Chinese cuisine. Yuzai made several for him. Yue’s dream of cherry blossoms. Lao Zhou came to him in the middle of the night last night, and I lied for him, saying that he had gone back to Sanchong Town. Lao Zhou just didn’t believe it, so he grabbed me and complained, and I couldn’t understand Yiyi’s Shanghai dialect. I understand. I think that fat grandpa still has some sincerity towards Yuzai."

"Lao Zhou just bought Xiaoyu a Seiko watch last week, 1500, automatic, and a calendar." "I see, Yuzi is shining brightly on her hand," Li Yue sighed with a smile, "Whoever told that fat grandpa to fall in love with this heartless glass thing, he is out of luck!" "Mum——" Abasan walked in with little Johnny, and when the little bastard saw his mother, he staggered, grinning and bumped into his mother's arms and shouted.Li Yue picked up Little Johnny, stripped off his open pants, bit his round butt for a day, and said bitterly: "You little wild boy, you little bastard, you killed your mother!"

Abasan was a fat man with an extremely irritable temper. He was out of breath after climbing the stairs for a long time, and the sweat dripped from his face.She put a pair of red candles, two sticks of incense, four or five strings of tinfoil ingots, and a large stack of paper money on the table in her hand, and then she did the math with Li Yue. July 15th, the Ghost Festival. "Who are you burning money for, Miss Liyue," I asked. "Give me that dead dad!" Li Yue sighed, and she brought up a bunch of ingots, trembling all over them, "When he was here, he asked me for money every day. When he died, he still wanted money in his dreams." Ask me for it. If I don’t burn it to him, I’m afraid that he will go to Hades to sue.” "Sister Liyue, give me half of the ingot, and I'll give you the money." I took out twenty yuan and handed it to Liyue. "Who did you burn it to?" Li Yue asked in surprise. "I'll burn it to my brother." "Did he ask you for money too?" "He asked me for a harmonica," I said. "It's his birthday—sixteen." "Harmonica?" Li Yue laughed loudly, "there is probably a harmonica for sale in that place, right? People say that the underworld is the same as ours, it has everything. There must be many bars. I will go down there and be a bar girl when I die." Go, otherwise, what should we do if so many American soldiers were killed in the Vietnam War?" Li Yue laughed wildly, her two big tits were bouncing, she pointed at me and shouted, "Glass ghost! Glass ghost! If you and Yuzai die, you must also become a glass ghost. You are what you are alive, and you are what you are dead. You can't change it!" I took the two strings of ingots into the country room, put them on the bed, and then went to the bathroom to take a cold shower and wash my hair.I changed into a new set of clothes, a pair of dark blue dacron suit pants, and a pullover tights with blue and white strips.I also combed my long, hard and rebellious hair neatly, and put on some Xiaoyu's pomade.Before leaving, I put the lute with a butterfly spleen in my back trouser pocket.When I passed by the door of Liyue's room, Liyue blew a whistle and called: "With this outfit, I'm looking for Lang Ke again." Without looking back, I ran downstairs and out into the outside world.Up and down Zhongshan North Road seemed to be covered with white smoking solution, and the air was so hot that it shivered.I hurriedly took out my pair of wide-brimmed deep black sunglasses and put them on. This pair of sunglasses was left by a guest in the hotel. I put it away and took it as my own.In the crowd during the day, I wear these wide-brimmed sunglasses to cover half of my face.so.Even if you meet acquaintances, you can pretend not to see them and avoid them. I took a bus on Zhongshan North Road and sat in the corner of the last row of the car. It was very hot in the car. I had just taken a shower, and as soon as I sat down, I was wet again.I'm going to take the bus to Ximending, and then transfer to South Airport.My mother lives over there at the South Airport.For more than five years, I have not seen my mother.The last news I got about her was that she lived with a man who opened an underground tea room in South Airport.That was what my brother told me. He had visited his mother two or three times at the South Airport.His mother took him to Ximending to eat steamed dumplings, and the two ate three dumplings.But the mother later told the younger brother: nothing will happen in the future.Don't go to her again.The younger brother passed away, but the mother didn't know.I tried to tell her several times, but for some reason, I couldn't.Because I haven't met my mother for many years, I was afraid of embarrassing everyone, so I had nothing to say. Thinking of my mother and my younger brother, I couldn't help but think of our dilapidated and dilapidated home. 5 Our home is at the bottom of Longjiang Street, Lane 28, Longjiang Street.Just like the barren land of Heilongjiang near the Siberian border on the Chinese map, the area around Longjiang Street is also a deserted frontier area in Taipei City.Those who came here were all poor and small families.In our alley, there are mostly dormitories for middle- and lower-level personnel of insignificant public units.Two rows of one-story bungalows are old and black, with mildew spots on the boards, and the doors, windows, tiles and eaves are all torn, like a group of ragged beggars, with shoulders hunched and huddled together.The first building on the left is Staff Qin's house. A door was blown off by the typhoon and has not been repaired. It seems that the mouth is bald and a front tooth is missing.Staff Officer Qin liked to sit on a low stool in the opening of the gate, holding a huqin in his hand, and singing by himself. According to him, he sang the Qilin Tongqi School, and his voice was so hoarse that he was suffering from a severe cold.Last year he had a stroke, his face was disfigured and his mouth was crooked.But he still sang with all his strength, shouting in a very desolate way: bully the widow——.When he opened his mouth, his jaw seemed to fall off, with a painful expression on his face.In the first building on the right, Captain Xiao and Vice Captain Huang live. Mrs. Xiao and Mrs. Huang have been arguing for more than ten years because they share a kitchen.Often in the middle of the night, there was a sound of cutting board spells coming from their kitchen. The sound of x, x, x, accompanied by sharp curses, was shocking to hear in the cold wind. Mrs. Xiao was a big man with a loud voice, always gaining the upper hand.Mrs. Huang was as emaciated as a shrunken cucumber, her mouth was puckered all the way, her eyes were full of tears, and her face was full of misery, as if Mrs. Xiao had been cursed so that she would never be reborn forever.Probably everyone's life is very difficult, and there are complaints from family to family.I remember that in those years, our alley never seemed to be peaceful.As soon as the crying on one side stopped, the shouting and cursing on the other side rose violently again.However, our Twenty-eighth Lane is a dead end that is not easy to forget: it has a special smell of decay, a special kind of ruin and desolation.The gutters on both sides of the alley are filled with rotten rags, rags, bamboo fences, and rusty iron cans all year round. There is a ditch of thick, filthy and black stagnant water. When the sun shines, it will be steaming, with a strong foul smell. , rushed up, and echoed in the alley.The contents of the open trash can in the middle of the alley are even more complicated.Often on the dirt piled up in fine mountains, there would be a dead cat with a swollen belly lying impressively, with bulging eyes and white teeth bared; I don’t know who poisoned it to death, and it was thrown there, and it slowly began to rot; It was full of red-headed flies the size of fingers, green and shiny, and when people passed by, they all flew up with a buzzing sound, and a nest of white wriggling maggots appeared on the gray-black corpse of the dead cat.The alley is a yellow muddy place, a heavy rain immediately turned into a piece of mud, slippery and creaky, we walked on it with bare feet, our feet were covered with mud, and then the yellow rolling mud was carried with us. go inside.If the weather is long and the wind blows, the whole alley will be filled with sand and rocks.As a result, on the pennies protruding from the dilapidated walls of each family, those tattered diapers, briefs, bed sheets, and pillows were turned upside down in the wind and sand of Huang Mengmeng. At the bottom of this cul-de-sac, the shabby, oldest, and darkest low house is our home.Typhoon Daisy passed through the country the year before last and knocked off a corner of our roof.My father and I spread a large black tarpaulin over the hole to cover it, and many red bricks were pressed on it.When it rains heavily, the house still leaks, so lead buckets, basins, and sometimes even spittoons are used to collect water everywhere.If it rains all night long, the house will ding ding dong dong until dawn.Our house is very short, the sunlight can't come in, the concrete floor inside the house is very damp, it seems to be wet and sweating all the way, the whole house is quiet, silent, and moldy all year round.Green, yellow, black, a piece of mildew, from the foot of the wall, fluffy climb up, climbed to the ceiling.Our clothes always have a pungent musty smell, which cannot be washed off no matter how we wash them. But my father said that we were lucky to have such a house.In the Thirty-eighth Middle School of the Republic of China, my father's corps fought against the Eighth Route Army in the Dabie Mountains. They were besieged for more than a week, but the rescuers could not arrive, and my father was captured.Later, he escaped and came to Taiwan, where he lost his military registration.Fortunately, Huang Ziwei, Director Huang, an old comrade-in-arms of my father, sold a favor to let my father temporarily live in this small and dilapidated dormitory.Almost every Sunday, my father would go to the house of Uncle Huang Ziwei in the 26th Lane next door. When he went, he would always carry a bottle of red dew wine and a bag of salted and crispy peanuts; Filling the wine, you gulp down my bowl with your wrist, and the peanuts in your mouth are chewed so hard. My father was originally a resolute and dull person, and he was not good at words.He sat there silently, his face was swollen and his eyes were red, until the sun went down and the room was dark, then his father stood up, coughed dryly, and said:' "Uh, it's getting late—" "Let's eat here." Uncle Huang also stood up. "Come back another day." Father didn't wait for Uncle Huang to reply, and walked away boldly in his strictly trained soldier's footsteps.His chest was exaggeratedly erect, his head was raised ridiculously high, and a pair of field leather boots, which were worn open, stepped on the ground, making a hollow sound. It is said that my father made meritorious service in beating the Japanese in the past - this is what he told us himself.When he talked about the "Changsha Great Victory" battle, he would suddenly become eloquent, speaking in his thick Sichuan dialect, spit out a lot of words that we half didn't understand .At that moment, his wrinkled black face would suddenly flash with a proud radiance.My father said that after that battle, the river in the suburbs of Changsha was dyed red, and his saber was beheaded by the Japanese so that the blade curled up.On the desk in his room is a photo of a full-body military uniform, tied with a diagonal belt, wearing long riding boots, holding a Japanese military helmet with several bullet holes in his hand, and his face is triumphant.That photo was taken on a field battlefield in Changsha, where the ground was strewn with dead soldiers.At that time, my father had just been promoted to the head of the regiment, and he was also honored.There was a small mahogany box next to the father's bed, which was locked with a copper lock, and his father's second-class Baoding Medal was treasured in the box.In the year when I was admitted to Yude Middle School, one day, my father called me into his room, solemnly took the small red wooden box next to his bed to the desk, and carefully opened the box. There is a gold-plated copper medal in the shape of a pentagram, and a blue and white enamel porcelain tripod is embedded in the middle.The gilding has turned black, and a little bit of patina has appeared in the places where the gold surface has peeled off in the seams of the pattern.The red, blue and white ribbon tied at the top corner was also yellowed.Father pointed to the old medal and said to me: "Ah Qing, I want you to keep in mind: your father was honored." I thought the medal was beautiful, so I reached out to take it. My father blocked my hand, frowned and said: "Stand well I stand well 1" After I stood at attention and put my hands on the seams of my trousers, my father picked up the quilt and pinned it to the skirt of my student uniform. Then he also stood at attention and shouted with a password: "Salute 1" Involuntarily, I quickly raised my hand to my forehead and saluted my father.I almost laughed out loud, but when I saw my father's serious face, I tried my best to hold it back.My father said that when I graduated from high school, he would officially award me the Boding Medal.He wholeheartedly hoped that when I graduated, I would be sent to the Fengshan Army Military Academy to inherit his wish. My father had been a soldier all his life, and he had no other skills other than charging into battle, so it was very difficult to find work.It was again because of Uncle Huang's face that he squeezed into a public-private joint credit union and took a job as a consultant with a monthly salary of 3,000 Taiwan dollars.In the office, he didn't even have a desk, so he didn't need to go to work every day.But my father still wore his only decent navy blue serge tunic suit every day, and under his arm he carried a black official leather bag that was worn white and whose zipper could only be closed half way, running in and out, stepping on his With a stiff military gait, Feng hurriedly went to catch the bus.In the eyes of my father, the former colleagues have all cut off contact.Once, two of my father's old subordinates came to visit him at our house. My father hid in the toilet in his underwear and gave me a pretty command through the door, "Go and tell them you're not home 1" In our sweltering, humid, moldy living room, my father was sitting tenaciously on his polished bamboo backrest, shirtless, sweating, and wearing presbyopic glasses. Under the dimly lit lamp, day after day, year after year, I was reading his fluffy, unthreaded book published by Shanghai Guangyi Book Company.There was an earthquake in Taipei one year, and several bricks and tiles from our roof were shaken off. We were all scared and ran into the alley.When we returned home, we found that my father was still sitting upright on the bamboo pole in the living room, holding his book in his hand, and the chandelier on his head was shaking like a pendulum, swinging back and forth. While my father was sitting alone in the living room studying the general trend of the world, "When things are divided for a long time, they must be combined, and when they are united for a long time, they must be divided." My mother was alone in the patio outside the living room, squatting on the ground, bending over, scrubbing and washing the endless piles of sheets and clothes. .To support the family, my mother went to buy a lot of sheets and clothes from other people's homes every day and came back to wash them.She has been buried in the pile of dirty clothes all year round, with her back arched, rubbing and washing vigorously, her hands soaked in soapy water, and the sides are soaked red.She squatted on the ground, pulling up her skirt, revealing a pair of blue and white calves, and her long black hair was tied into a big ponytail, dragging behind her.Sometimes, while my mother was scrubbing, she hummed a Taiwanese ditty alone; while rubbing, she would suddenly raise her face, frown, and sing aloud: Ah—ah—a small city abandoned by people——Lonely and lonely shadow Her voice was shrill, sharp, trembling, and it was creepy to hear. It was even more poignant than the Taiwanese sad white warbler in "City of Sadness". The mother's life experience and origin are very ambiguous.It is said that she is the adopted daughter of a duck-raising family in the Taoyuan countryside. Her adoptive father was a drunkard and abused her in every possible way. Fortunately, her adoptive mother loved her and saved her from suffering a lot.But one day, her adoptive father flew over with a sickle and cut a piece of skin off her forehead, so she escaped and went to Zhongli, where she worked as a waitress in a low-class teahouse near the First Army Corps barracks.During those days, my mother probably didn't behave very well, and often caused incidents with those soldiers from the First Legion.Once, two second lieutenant officers were jealous of her rivalry and resorted to violence, which almost resulted in a murder case.When things got serious, my mother couldn't stand in Zhongli, so she came to Taipei to help someone else to be a daughter-in-law.When Aunt Huang was pregnant, she asked her mother to help her temporarily, and just like that, she hitched up with her father.That year my father was forty-five and my mother was only nineteen.When Aunt Huang mentioned this, she always covered her mouth and laughed: "I asked your mother to send the red eggs, but who would have thought that your father would leave behind the red eggs, and even the people behind me?" When my mother was young, probably she was indeed a very charming woman.She has a delicate figure, a slender waist, and a head of rich long hair, which drapes over her back like a piece of black satin.Her snow-white baby face, a pinch of mouth, the corners of her mouth are turned up, and her face is full of childishness. She looks like a little girl who will never grow up.But her big, sunken eyes, a pair of bright black pupils, shone like two frightened fawns, hiding here and there, full of hesitation and fear.Sometimes, she would suddenly frown, and her big eyes would burn like two balls of black fire, as if all the hatred in her heart had been ignited. The mother stood beside the father, reaching only to his shoulders.The two walked on the street, the father held his head high, as if he was in a military parade, striding forward, and the mother followed behind him, chasing after him, looking around constantly.Such an old and gray man with a head full of self-consciousness standing on end, but behind him is a baby-faced, frightened little girl—the two of them are a very unsuitable pair in our alley, and it is shocking to walk together. Howling old couples and young wives. However, the father probably once loved his mother, but the way he expressed it was very violent.Once, my mother was teasing a young man who sold vegetables at the door. She took a carrot and hit the naked chest of the middle-aged man, and the young man took the opportunity to squeeze his mother's arm.My father happened to meet him, and after returning home, without saying a word, he quickly pulled out a rattan whip from behind the door, swish, swish, swish, and swished three times on my mother's back.The mother fell to the ground, her small body curled up into a ball, her shoulders twitched violently, and her blue and white legs kept kicking.The way she was lying on the ground reminded me of a pullet we slaughtered during Chinese New Year, with its throat cut off, lying on the ground with its two chicken paws kicking and kicking convulsively, struggling to die. The snow-white feathers were splashed with bright red blood spots.The mother was lying on the ground, neither weeping nor shouting, her face was pale and her mouth was tightly shut.Her big eyes looked at her father, as if she was about to jump out.The next day, my mother didn't get up.When the father came home, he put a box wrapped in floral paper on the bedside of the mother, turned around hastily and walked out.Inside the box was a brand-new fine linen dress with pea-green base and large clusters of red peonies.Mother climbed out of bed, put on new clothes, stood in front of the mirror and looked around.But on her exposed back, there were two finger-thick welts, slanted there, swollen green and red, like two snakes, crawling on her snow-white back. When I was eight years old, my mother suddenly disappeared one day.She took all her clothes and the floral dress her father bought her.She eloped with a small trumpet player in the Xiaodongbao Song and Dance Troupe.She also participated in their song and dance troupe and went on a tour around the island.The dormitory of the Little Dongbao Song and Dance Troupe was originally stationed on Changchun Road.Mother often went to get the clothes of their members back to wash.Once, when I passed their dormitory, I caught a glimpse of my mother mixing with the regiment members and singing.The little trumpet player was a young man in his twenties. He wore a crimson uniform with two rows of golden steel buttons on the chest and two wide gold rims on the sleeves. Two bristles of black and shiny hair.He held a twinkling brass trumpet in both hands, leaned back, and played it very aggressively.Mother was caught in the middle of a group of girls singing "Wang Chunfeng" with a smile on her face. She also wore a white gold-rimmed man's hat on one side. I had never seen her smile so happily. On the night my mother left, my father held the self-defense pistol he used to be the regiment leader on the mainland, waved it threateningly, and ran out, claiming to kill the couple.But when he came back in the middle of the night, he was so drunk that he couldn't even walk steadily.He called my younger brother and me over, and babbled a lot of words that we didn't understand. After speaking, he himself burst into tears. His wrinkled, gray and old face was full of tears— ——That was the scariest and saddest face I had ever seen.Brother Frog cried out in fright, but I felt the hairs all over my body spread out, and I was chilled. I didn't seem to feel particularly sorry for my mother's departure.Probably because my mother hated me since I was a child, so I have only fear of her and no attachment to her.When my mother gave birth to me, the first child was dystocia, the uterus collapsed, and she almost lost her life. Therefore, she insisted that I was the wrongdoing of her previous life, and came to reincarnate to beg for her life.She often rubbed my forehead with her thumb and said to me, "Heizi, don't frown. There are wrinkles on the child's forehead. If you don't want to, you will be vicious." My mother called me Hei Zai and my younger brother Bai Zai.I look like my father, tall and dark, but my younger brother has lost his shape with his mother.He is all white, has a baby face, and his big black eyes seem to be borrowed from his mother, but they are not as resentful as his mother and Li, blinking all the time, as if smiling.The mother said that when she was pregnant with her younger brother, she dreamed of Avalokitesvara, who gave her a special gift from Goddess Avalokitesvara, so she looked like her.She personally sewed a set of fiery red silk clothes for her brother, and put a silver-plated cupronickel collar on his neck, with bells of the twelve zodiac signs on the collar. The bell pin jingled and rang, so the mother was overjoyed, and immediately picked up the younger brother into her arms, and kissed him from the top of his head to his chubby legs, The younger brother was so kissed and danced, giggling and giggling non-stop. One day, my mother took a bath for my younger brother in the courtyard. She used her own piece of sandalwood soap to wipe the whole body of my younger brother with soap bubbles. Wan stretched out to her knees, she scooped up her hands, scooped water and poured water on her younger brother's chubby body, while softly humming "June Riley" My younger brother laughed, and his mother laughed too, the two of them were crisp Joyful laughter echoed under the golden sunlight.When my mother walked into the house to get a towel, I walked over and stood by the wooden basin. Just as my younger brother smiled and stretched out his hand to me, I grabbed his arm, and on his white and tender baby flesh, Bite off eight blue and red tooth marks fiercely.My mother rushed out, raised the poker and beat my knee black and blue, and I was limping for several days.I looked at the bruised knee, bleeding pus and blood, and felt a burst of revenge in my heart. I didn't cry, and I didn't ask for mercy.After that time, my mother added a bit of disgust to me, saying that I must have been born of five ghosts. However, as soon as my mother left, my brother and I suddenly became dependent on each other.The younger brother has always slept with his mother, but on the night when my mother left, he ran into my room, climbed onto my bed, and squeezed into my arms desperately, probably because he was afraid.I was also very tired that night, so I hugged him, patted his back like my mother did, and fell asleep together.After my mother left home, I saw her only once.That was the fourth year she had left, and I had just entered junior high school.The Little Dongbao Song and Dance Troupe returned to Taipei and performed at the Miramar Theater in Sanchong Town.I secretly took my younger brother and took a bus across the Taipei Bridge to Sanchong Town.Meilihua used to perform Gezai Opera. At the entrance of an alley on Zhongxin Road, the theater was just a big shed surrounded by plywood. At the entrance of the gate, there were two calico curtains hanging, and the walls were covered with colorful advertising posters. : Youth dance in Xiaojiabao Song and Dance Park.It is printed with many dancing girls showing their thighs.A man wearing a flowered paper hat stood at the entrance, holding a speech microphone, and shouted loudly: Miss Peugeot!wonderful perfomance!I bought two tickets with my younger brother and squeezed into the theater. There were so many people in the theater that it was almost full and it was noisy.The playhouse is a concrete floor, and the floor is covered with fruit peels, melon seed shells, cigarette butts, and soda bottles.The seats are long benches without backrests, packed tightly together.The audience was almost entirely men, many shirtless, their upper bodies exposed with sweat.Most of the people were wearing wooden clogs, and when they sat down, they kicked off the clogs and curled up a bare foot on the stool.The air inside was turbid, and there was a warm smell of sweaty feet.我跟弟娃挤到院台左侧最边头的一张凳子上坐了下来。戏台上接着一张破旧的茶红幔子，台上有一排反射的座灯，把戏台照得通亮。戏台右边坐着歌舞团的乐队，有五个人，都穿着他们那绎红色铜扣金边的制服，在那里大吹大打，好象万华市场大拍卖时洋鼓洋号那股喧嚣，那样热闹。我发觉带着母亲私奔的那个小喇叭手，就坐在乐队前排，第二个座位上。他扬着头，鼓着腮帮子，眼睛瞪得老大，吹奏得很得意似的，手上的喇叭照得金光闪闪。他没有戴帽子，梳了一个十分标劲的飞机头，乌光水滑的。台上的司仅擎着麦克风出来报了幕，讲了几句风话，台下掀起一阵口哨飞来，突然间，六个舞女便从幕后跑了出来。她们都穿着短短的粉红裙子，白白的大腿全露在外面，每个人的头上箍着一圈亮晶晶的金色锁片子，两只手腕上也戴满了闪烁的手钏子。她们出来后，肩靠肩站成一排，等乐队换了一支曲于，她们倏地都甩出一只手来，往台下一指，一齐失声唱了起来： 宝岛姑娘真美丽———— 台下的观众更加兴奋起来，大声叫道：跳！Jump!Jump!乐队敲打得愈来愈急切，于是台上的舞女互相勾肩搭背，一宇排开，开始飞踢大腿，跳起舞来。她们一边踢，一边唱，手钏子铮铮铛铛。台下的男人们，拍手的拍手，叫好的叫好。司仪手执着麦克风，也在大声喊：嘿！Hey!black!好象在替那些舞女加油似的。 我和弟娃的座位很偏，看得不太清楚。我战了起来，张了半天，赫然发觉，原来台上左边第一个舞女，就是母亲。她们六个人，都搽得一脸大团大团红通通的胭脂，眉毛眼睛画得又是蓝又是紫，脸谱勾得一模一样，不容易分别。母亲已经三十出头了，可是她身材娇小，又那样打扮着，看起来，竟象个十八九岁的小姑娘。她比其他的舞女都矮小，踢起腿来，总比她们迟缓一些。她一径例着涂得红红的嘴巴，露着一曰自牙，做出一副笑容来。 可是她那双大眼睛却一直急切的眨巴着，好象十分仓皇吃力的模样。我告诉弟娃，母亲也在上面跳舞，弟娃赶忙爬到凳子上去，寻找了片刻，突然，他叫了——声： “阿母一”便站在凳子上哭泣起来了。 6 南机场克难街两边，都是卖西瓜的小贩，地上撤满了吃剩的西瓜皮西瓜子。稀烂鲜红的西瓜肉，东一块，西一块，招来许多嗡嗡的苍蝇。在太阳底下晒狠了，那些烂红的西瓜皮肉，都在冒着一般发了酵甜腻的嫂气。母亲住的那栋房子就在克难街底的一个贫民窟里。那是一栋十分奇特的建筑物，一所日据时代残留下来两层楼的一座水泥房子，墙壁坚厚，墙上没有窗户，只有一个个小黑洞，整座房子灰秃秃，象是一座残破的碉堡，据说是日本人驻军用的。我进到房子里，一道螺旋形的水泥楼梯，婉蜒上升，伸到那看不清的幽暗里去。里面阴森森，洋溢着一股防空洞里潮湿的霉味。一座楼里不知道住了多少户人家，里面人声嘈杂，大人的喝骂，小孩的啼哭，可是因为幽睹，只见黑影幢幢，却看不清人的面目。我扶着那道水泥栏杆，摸索着，爬到了二楼顶，母亲住的那家门口去。大门敲着，有一个老太婆坐在门口一张矮凳上，点着头在打盹。那个老太婆穿着一件黄白麻纱的敞领汗衫，她颈子上的皱肉，象鸡皮似的，松垂了下来；脑后挂着一小撮发鬓，前额上的毛发却掉光了，一大片粉红的发斑侵到她眉毛上，好象她前额上的头皮给揭掉了一般，露出鲜红的嫩肉来。 “阿巴桑，黄丽霞在么？”我卸掉了墨镜，招呼她道。 “恩？什么人？”老太婆睁开眼睛，嘎声问道。 “黄丽霞，阿丽。” 老太婆也不答话，清了一清喉咙，叭一下往地上吐了一日浓痰，朝我狠狠打量了一下，才用手往里面一间房间指了两下。我走进去，穿过一道砖砌的弄堂，弄堂底那间房，房门垂着一张酱黄的布帘。我捞开帘子，房中暗，甚么也看不见，只有随着帘缝射进去一道昏惨惨的日光。我探索着走进了房中，里面又闷又热，迎面扑来一阵腥檀的恶臭，好象是死鸡死猫身上发出腐烂的秽气一般。 “阿母”我悄悄叫了一声。 我伫立片刻，等到眼睛渐渐习惯了房中的幽暗后，才模糊看到房中有张挂着一顶方帐的床，床上隆起好象躺着一个人。我走了过去，站在床前，又叫道： “阿母，是我，阿青。” “阿青么？” 那是母亲的声音，尖细，颤抖，从黑暗中，幽幽的传了过来。一阵唏嘘摸索的声音，啪的一下，床头一盏晕黄的电灯打亮了。母亲佝偻着侧卧在床上，身上裹着一件黑色绒线外套，下半身也裹着一条花布套棉被。她的头深深的陷入了枕头里，枕头边堆着厚厚一叠粗黄的卫生纸；床上罩着的那顶方帐，污黑污黑的，好象是用旧了的抹布拼凑起来的一般，缀满了一块块的补钉。我走到她床头边，她掉过脸来，我猛吃一惊，她那张脸完全变掉了。她原来那张圆圆的娃娃脸，两颊的肉好象给挖摔了一样，深深的凹了进去，颧骨嶙峋的耸了起来，她的两只大眼睛整个陷落了下去，变成了两个大黑洞，眼塘子乌青，象两块淤伤，脸肉蜡黄，两边太阳穴贴了两片拇指大的黑膏药，一头长发睡成了一饼一饼的乱疙瘩。她的两只手紧紧抓拢，象一对蜷起的鸡爪子，她那本来十分娇小的身躯，给重重叠叠的衣裳被窝裹埋在床上，骤然看去，象是一个干缩了的老女婴。她伸出她那鸡爪般的手，一把捞住了我的手腕，尖起她凄厉的声音，迫促的叫道： “你来得正好，阿青。快，快，把你阿母抱起来，床前有个痰盂，你看见吗？” 我把被窝掀开，将母亲从床上抱起来，她的身体干瘦得只剩下一把骨头，我一只手托住她的背脊，我摸得到她背脊上突起来一节节的硬骨。她身上透着一股呛鼻的药味和汗臭。我把她放在痰盂上，痰盂里已装满了半盆黄浊浊的尿液，我进来时闻到那股奇异的腥膻，就是那里发出来的。母亲坐在痰盂上，佝着身子，怨怨艾艾的说道： “刚才我唤破了喉咙也没有人理我，那个死老婆子在装聋呢！他们看见你阿母病得动不得了，便都来欺负我。她敢站在我房门口，对她儿子说：”那个查某不中用啦，还医她做么？ —— “母亲嗤嗤的冷笑了两声，”考背，偏偏你阿母又死不去，天天在这里拖！ " 母亲解完小便，用几张粗黄的卫生纸揩干净。我把她从痰盂上抱起来，放回床上。 ' “我怕冷，阿青，替我把被盖好。”母亲颤抖着声音叫道。我赶忙将被窝裹到她身上。她这间房间的窗户都紧紧关了起来，而且还蒙上了厚帘子，我的背上一直在淌汗。 “你知道么？阿青，他们都在等我死呢！”母亲压低了声音，她伸出她那瘦得只剩下一把筋骨乌黑的右手来给我看，她的无名指上犹松松的套着一枚磨得泛了红的金戒子。“他们等我一死，就要来脱我这只金戒子。别做他娘的春梦啦！我吞到肚子里去，也不会给那两个夭寿的！可是阿青，你阿母穷得要命，想吃片西瓜也没有钱买——” 母亲说着，她那双深坑的眼睛打量了我一下，突然笑道： “嘿嘿，你这一身穿得蛮标致嘛，你发财了么，阿青？乖仔，给点钱给你阿母买东西吃好么？我饿了一天了，他们拿来的东西，是喂猪的糠，哪里人吃的？” 我掏出昨天剩下的两百块钱，分了一张一百元给母亲，母亲那双瘦得象鸡爪子的手，捏住那张钞票，直打颤。她那张变得丑怪破烂的脸却绽开了，笑得象个小女孩一般。她急忙把那张钞票塞到枕头底下，生伯别人看见，会抢走一般。她把钱藏好，拍拍枕头，仰卧下去，长长的舒了一口气。 “医生说，毒跑到骨头去了，要锯掉——”母亲用手在她下身划了一下，“两条腿都要锯掉，锯一条腿要七千块钱呢！莫说我没钱，有钱我也不锯！医生说，毒已经散开了，攻心就要死了。死不是死，我这种女人还活着做什么——”母亲突然颤巍巍的撑起身来，她那双陷落的大眼睛灼灼的闪起光来，“阿青，你答应你阿母一件事好么？阿母从来没有求过你，你就替你阿母做这一件事好么？” “好的。”我应道。 " “你阿母是活不长的了，阿母死了，你到庙里去，替你阿母上一蛀香，哪个庙都行。你去跪在佛祖面前，替你阿母向佛祖求情。你阿母一辈子造了许多许多罪孽，你求佛祖超生，放过你阿母，免得你阿母在下面受罪。你阿母一生的罪孽，烧成灰都烧不干净！死，你阿母是不怕的，就是怕到下面那些罪受不了——” 母亲说着，她那深坑的眼眶突然冒出两行眼泪来，流到她那凹下去的面颊上。我将床头那叠极黄的卫生纸递了两张给她。她接过去，揩了揩面上的泪水，擤了一擤鼻涕，才又倒卧到床上去。隔了半晌，她长长的吁了一口气，叹道： “你们阿爸，其实他对我，也还不错的。只是，只是——” 她皱起眉头，顺了顺嘴。突然间，她嘴巴一撇，轻佻的笑了起来，问我道： “怎么啦？老头子还好么？还天天呷酒么？” “不知道，”我摇了摇头，“我有三个多月没看见他了一阿母，我也离开家了。” “是么？是么？”母亲亢奋起来，眨着她那双下陷闪灼的眼睛。随即她却伸出手来，拍了一拍我的手背，点着头，叹道： “你也跑出来了，阿青。” “是阿爸赶我出来的，”我说道。 "Oh, is it?" 母亲喃喃应道，她的大眼睛默默的注视着我，手搁在我的手背上。一刹那，我感到我跟母亲在某些方面毕竟还是十分相象的。母亲一辈子都在逃亡、流浪、追寻，最后瘫痪在这张堆塞满了发着汗臭的棍被的床上，罩在污黑的账子里，染上了—身的毒， 在等死。我毕竟也是她这具满载着罪孽，染上了恶疾的身体的骨肉，我也步上了她的后生，开始在逃亡，在流浪，在追寻了。那一刻，我竞感到跟母亲十分亲近起来。 “那么，现在只剩下弟娃一个人跟着你阿爸了？”母亲细颤的声音，变得酸楚起来。 “阿母——”我觉得我的喉头好象给塞住了，叫不出声音来了似的。 “阿青，弟娃到底是你的亲骨肉，你对他是要好的——” “阿母，弟娃死了，”我终于大声说了出来，好象胸中一块淤血，一下子吐了出来似的。母亲呆呆的望着我，似乎没有听懂我的话，“弟娃死了三个多月了，阿母——” 我坐到母亲头边，紧紧执住她那双瘦小的手爪子，我的手心在沁冷汗，我的牙关打着战，我俯下身去，向母亲急切的倾诉起来。我告诉她：弟娃是生肺炎死的。长春路康福医院的吴医生说他是重感冒，只给他打了一针退烧针。第三天，弟娃便昏迷了。他一夜咳嗽，全身烧得滚烫。我们送他到台大医院去急救。他们给他上了氧气，弟娃直着脖子喘了一夜，天亮时，才断的气。断气的时候，是我抱住他的。医院里的人，要把弟娃抬走。我用脚猛踢他们，不准他们碰他。后来阿爸将我拉开，医院里的人，用一块白布把弟娃盖了起来，抬走了。母亲静静的听着，没有作声，我讲完后，我们默默的相对了好一会儿突然间，母亲奋力挣脱了我的手，僵直直的便从床上坐了起来，一只手颤抖抖的指着我，厉声喝道： “你们把我的白仔害死了！” “阿母。”我立起了身来。 “肺炎？什么肺炎？我不懂？你们把我的白仔害死了——” 母亲那双深坑的眼睛闪得好象要跳出来了似的，削瘦的脸，扭曲起来，又象哭，又象笑。“我知道，一定是你，你这个黑心的，你把我的白仔害死了，还跑来哄我，告诉我生什么肺炎死的。是你把我的白仔害死的，我要你赔命——” 母亲那双鸡爪似的手握着拳头捶起床来，一面放声悲嚎，一声比一声大，一声比一声惨烈。外面那个老太婆蹬蹬蹬跑了进来，双手乱挥，嚷道： “疯了！疯了!” 我退了几步，跑出了母亲的房间，跌跌撞撞，从那道幽暗回旋的水泥楼梯，奔了下去，母亲那尖厉的惨嚎，一声声从楼上追逐下来。我逃到房子外面，脚下犹自不停的奔跑着。外面烈日，自得天旋地转，我感到一阵晕眩，冷汗从头上水泻一般；流了下来。我跑了一段路，才停下来，喘着气，回头望去，那碉堡似的水泥楼房，灰秃秃的矗立在烈日的太阳下，墙上布满了一个个小黑洞，好象一座大监狱似的。 7 西门町的野人咖啡室也是我们联络站之一，有的侯小玉、老鼠、吴敏我们几个人要互通消息，便到野人去留一张字条：“八点钟新南阳门口。”“九点半中华路商场二楼吴抄手。”下午四点钟，台北已经给八月的太阳烤得奄奄一息了，我钻进野人的地下室里，每张桌子早坐满了人，三三两两，全是青少年的头颅。他们身上穿着大红大黄，聚在一堆，并成了一朵朵的向日葵。里面灯光昏朦，乳白的冷气烟霭，在浮动着，冷气里充满了辛辣的烟味。那架大唱机正在扩着火爆的摇滚乐，披头四放肆地在喊： ya--ya--ya--- 我觑了半天，发现只有靠冷气机的那一角，有一张台子，是一个人坐着的，我走过去，问道： “这里有人坐吗？”桌上摆着几只盛冷饮的空杯。 他抬起头，摇了一下。我摘下墨镜，在他对面坐了下来，他指着两只空杯说： “他们刚走。” 他是一个约莫十四五岁的男孩，穿着一件洗得泛了白的童军制服，上衣拉到裤子外面，也投有扣好，小腹露了出来。制服的两条肩带，一条纽子掉了，翻了起来。他的背靠着冷气机，腿跷到一张椅子上，脚上一双凉鞋，大脚趾露在外面，一翘一翘地动着。他面前的冷饮杯空掉了，里面那根麦管也给咬折了。他手里夹着根香烟，看见我坐下，赶忙塞到嘴里猛抽两下，可是他夹烟的姿势，一看就知道是个刚学抽烟的嫩脚色。 “刚才走的两个家伙，昨夜里偷了一架老美的汽车。”他告诉我，很兴奋的样子。 “什么牌子的汽车？” “宾士！” “喔唷，高级车嘛。” “他们开去兜风，开到仁爱路四段，一撞便撞到了电线杆上。两个小子爬出车来，鬼一样地溜掉了。他们说，那架崭新的宾士，撞得象只瘪了嘴的癞虾蟆！” 他说着，开心地笑了起来。我想到那部美国佬的汽车撞成癞虾蟆的模样，也禁不住笑了。他咯咯地笑个不停，那张晒得鲜红的圆脸上，咧着两颗又白又大的门牙。他的头发大概暑假刚留起来的，只有寸把长，鬈鬈地覆在额上。我看见他制服左胸上绣着恒毅中学五九三的学号。 “那两个小子是西门町兄弟帮的。” “你也是他们一伙的吧？”我问他。 “才不是！”他嘴巴一撇，十分不屑，“兄弟帮那些家伙最污了！” 我点了一杯蕃石榴汁，用麦菅吸了两口。我发觉他在干瞪着我，拚命在吸烟，我便对他说： “分一半给你。” 他起先有点不好意思，迟疑了片刻，终于讪讪地笑着将空杯推了过来，我倒了一半蕃石榴汁给他。 “我喝了一杯凤梨汁、一杯芒果汁，就还没喝蕃石榴汁。我在这里泡了一个下午，四个多钟头，钱也喝光了。本来我还打算去看电影的。”他吮着蕃石榴汁笑道。 “你一个人在这里穷泡干什么？” “到哪里去呀？外头热得发昏！”他咋了一下舌头。 “去游水呀！” “昨天我才去东门游泳池，挤得象沙甸鱼，水是臭的！本来我打算留在家里看武侠小说。喂，你也练武功么？” “我的段数才高哩，我在小学就看了！” “哈，哈，我也刚看完'射雕'，”他拍起手来叫道，“我在恒毅住宿，天天晚上躲在被窝里用手电筒照着看，好过瘾！有一天，给吴大块头捉到了，把那'射雕'全部没收去了。吴大块头是我们的舍监，有两百磅，一讲话，就气喘，指着我骂道：'侬这个小鬼头，顶勿守规矩！'” “你是上海瘪三么？” 他又咯咯地笑个不停。 “勿是！勿是！”他猛摇头，打着上海腔，“我后妈是上海女人，她一天到晚指我的额头骂：'小赤佬！小赤佬！'她说要是恒毅开除我，她就把我送到阿里山上面那间中学去。你听过上海女人骂人么？她们的声音象刮玻璃那么尖！我后妈一喊，我老爸便捂起耳朵开溜。他从前还是飞行员哩，就是喷机也没有我后妈的嗓子刺耳！” “你老爸从前开什么飞机？” “轰炸机，B－25，轰－—”他用手做了一个飞机俯冲的姿势，“他现在在家里养鸡。” “什么？”唱机里正在放一支汤姆琼斯的歌，声音奇大，我听不清楚。 “他养鸡！”他大声叫道，“我们家有五百多只来亨鸡。” 我突然笑了起来，我觉得没有比开轰炸机的驾驶员养来亨鸡更滑稽的事了。 “我们家臭烘烘的，鸡屎臭！我老爸天天在鸡棚里捡鸡蛋，我后妈就在屋里搓麻将。从早上搓到半夜，从半夜搓到天亮。你猜我后妈为什么不喜欢我待在家里？” “你调皮捣蛋。” “勿是！勿是！”他又笑着摇头，“我在家，她就输钱。因为我爱看武侠小说，看'书'把她看'输'了。她说我是个倒霉鬼。” “倒霉鬼，你叫什么名字？” “赵英，赵子龙的赵，英雄的英。” “他们都叫我阿青。” “几点钟了，阿青。”他用手拨我的手表来看，随着又叹了一口气，说道： “凄惨，才四点半，我后妈又在打麻将，要我八点钟以后再回家。” “我们看电影去。”我提议道。 他从口袋里掏了半天，掏出一张五块钱的钞票。 “我出来时，带了五十块的，打弹子输掉了二十，”他又吐了一下舌头。 “我请你。”我说。 “真的么？” “我们去看新世界的'独臂刀'。” “棒极了！”他叫了起来，“我最爱看王羽的武侠片，打得真过瘾。” “快点，”我立起身，“我们去赶四点半的那一场。” 我们钻出野人，连跑带跳，穿过西门町几条闹街，赶到新世界去。“独臂刀”是最后一天，又是星期日，好座位都卖光了。我们只买到两张前座第三排的票。坐在椅子上，头仰得高高的，银幕上的人头大得不得了，砍砍杀杀，血肉横飞，那些刀刀剑剑好象要飞到我们头上来了似的。我去买了一包五香牛肉干，跟赵英一边啃，一边看王羽满天里打跟头，他的动作干脆俐落，是真功夫，打得确实过瘾。 “应该还来个续集。”我们看完戏，走出戏院，赵英意犹未尽地说道： “续集我来编。”我说道。 “你怎么编？” “编个'无臂刀'，把王羽那一条手臂也砍掉。” “没有手怎么拿刀？” “傻子，不会运气功么？”我笑道。 赵英也咧着两颗大门牙咯咯地笑了起来。我们穿过斑马线，一辆计程车驶过来，倏地停下，恰好停在赵英身边，赵英顺手便在车头上打了一掌，打得车头蓬的一响，他并起两根指，学电影里王羽那副姿势，指着计程车司机喝道： “呔！小侠在此，不得无礼！” 我们跑过街去，只听得计程车司机在后面哇哇乱骂。六点多种，西门町的人潮开始汹涌起来，我们穿过一些大街小巷，总是人挤人，暖烘烘的，都是人气。我们吃多了牛肉干，嘴里闹渴，我摸摸口袋，只剩下二十多块钱了，便在一家冰果店买了两根红豆冰棒，一人一根，沿了武昌街，一路啃着，信步走到了西门町淡水河的堤岸上。淡水河上的夕阳，红得象团大火球，在河面上熊熊地烧着。 淡水河堤五号水门这一带，是西门町闹区的边缘。那些高楼大厦排列到这边，倏地便矮塌了一大截，变成一溜破烂的平房，七零八落，好象被那些高楼大厦挤得摇摇欲坠，快坍到河里去了似的。西门町的繁华喧嚣，到了这里，突然消歇，变得荒凉起来。住在这些破烂矮屋的居民，大多是做木材生意的，附近的堤岸边，堆满了长条的滚木，这些滚木都在水里泡过，上面生了霉菌。我跟赵英越过滚木堆，爬到了堤岸上。堤上空荡荡的没有人，堤下的淡水河，好象给那团火球般的夕阳烧着了似的，滚滚浊浪，在迸跳着火星子。河对面的三重镇，上空笼罩着一片黑蒙蒙的煤烟，房屋模糊，好象是一大团稀脏的垃圾堆在河对岸。远处通往三重镇的中兴大桥，长长的横跨在河中央，桥上车辆来来往往，如同一队首尾相接的黑蚁。河面上有一只机帆，满载着煤，嘟嘟嘟在发着声音，一面巨大的黑帆，正缓缓地朝着天边那团大火球撞去。 “好红的太阳！” 赵英爬上了河堤叫道，朝着夕阳奔跑过去，风把他的衣角拂了起来，长长的河堤上，他那身影映着那轮火红的夕阳，伶俐地跳跃着。他跑到长堤尽头，停了下来，回头向我张开双臂招挥起来，我忙跟了过去，赵英犹自喘息着，笑道： “你看，有人在钓鱼。” 河堤下面不远的沙滩岸边，地上插着两根钓鱼杆，钓鱼的人不知哪里去了，钓杆给钓丝拖得弯弯的。 “这里的鱼多得很，我也来钓过。”我说道。 “是么？有些什么鱼？” “鲫鱼、鲤鱼、鲢鱼，通通有。” “你钓到鱼了么？” “当然，钓过好多条。” “真的么？” “有一次我跟我弟弟来，钓到两条巴掌大的鲤鱼。” “喔唷，豆瓣鲤鱼很好吃呢！”赵英笑道。 “鲤鱼最容易钓，这里水脏，鲤鱼多。” “你用什么做钓饵？” “蚯蚓，就在河边可以挖得到，这里的蚯蚓好肥，有指头那么粗。” “棒透了！”赵英拍手道，他在堤上坐了下来，“哪天我们来挖蚯蚓，钓鱼好么？” “好的。”我应道，我也坐了下来，我感到裤子后面口袋有根硬东西梗在那里。我伸手去掏，是那管口琴。 “什么牌子的？”赵英瞅见我手上的口琴，问道。 “蝴蝶牌。”我将口琴递给他看。 “是名牌嘛。”赵英接过口琴，端详了片刻。 “你也会吹口琴么