Chapter 40 Afterword

It is my first full-length novel, and it is full of dreams, fears, and parts that are always unimaginable and unrecognizable to haunt me.I am trying to complete a self-transformation through this absurd story, let me explain what I want to say clearly, and what I can't think clearly.How inspiring this narrative is! This is my second book. After publishing the first book at the age of nineteen, I worked several jobs that didn't require early to bed and early to rise. I made enough money to buy a favorite German car or a modest apartment. of two bedrooms.But I didn't save anything, I spent all my time, and I saw that time quickly reached my twenty-one year old.That kind of speed and waste is unimaginable for ordinary people. Later, at the age of 21, I found a rhythm again, or it is the thing I most want to try-singing.Now I stand in front of everyone with a double identity, I love writing and singing.

I can write to my lover, and I can sing to my lover.I don't pray that everyone can understand me. In this big city where I can never know the direction of the east and west, I only hope that my lover can know me deeply and love me as always.And what I can bring to strangers may be a painful reading on a wicker chair, a performance with poor stage facilities, or even a blank space that will never meet.Either way is fine. Now I live in a residential area on the outskirts of Beijing, where the air is so clean that a plane flies overhead almost every four minutes.The weather is already cold, shivering, brushing teeth and washing face with cold water, then wearing a large football shirt and walking in the university next to the community, running on the playground at 7:15 in the morning, losing weight and exercising lung capacity.Go to the cafeteria at eight o'clock to get a bowl of porridge and ask for a small pickle that costs a dime... I look like any college girl, wearing myopia glasses, a little picky, and occasionally haggling when shopping.However, when I was in college, I changed very quickly. I could be a college student for a while, a writer for a while, and a singer for a while.For example: I secretly climbed onto the roof of the cafeteria with the producer, so I began to yearn to build a small house, plant sunflowers on the roof, I can stand in the sunflowers and sing, my stage is very high, and the audience can sing at the end of the performance. Climb up to the roof together and watch the stars and the moon together.

I like my new life, new identity, new novel. The people in this novel live all around you.They are neurotic, honest, exquisite, determined and beautiful.The City of Joy in the story is an ideal ideal state, don't worry about its location, we just need to analyze some hidden emotions, desires and motivations in our souls.Thus was born the movie theater called the Pearl Hotel, which showed movies.Just like that great movie - "Leap Over the Cuckoo's Nest", here, hope sprouts in despair, and searching is the eternal pursuit. — "What are you looking for?" I asked Marguerite.

——"Hope." Her answer is also my own question and answer. What kind of story is that, I asked myself.I can't sum it up, I think it's surreal, bright, extreme, divisive, cold, warm, ignorant, youthful, nostalgic, rustic, gorgeous, beautiful, cornered, ridiculous, beautiful, twisted... I I think it is new school, garage, trip hop, indie, dark wave, small freshness, electronic or jazz... I think it looks like a woman wearing a shawl and pearl necklace and earrings; I think it looks like a big sleeping in an economic warehouse Merchant; I think it's like a red-haired girl in a short skirt wiggling her ass and crying in a bar; I think it's like my childhood self sobbing softly in a wardrobe because I'm afraid of the dark; I think it's It's a cool, cool novel.

The writing process lasted for a long time, during which I collapsed several times. In the middle of the night, I was so frightened and cried by the bits and pieces in my heart that I wrote, I climbed into bed and hugged my mother's warm body in sleep.I thought I was going crazy, I thought so desperately.But shivering, the morning birdsong and the morning light taking all fear and nightmare away from me, I went downstairs, fetched the newspaper, and was polite to my neighbors as if all the breakdowns had never existed.It's amazing! The names of the characters in the book, Yang Zuoluo, Weiwei, Lesibian, and Ai Chengge are all my good friends.I remember that Ai Chengge and I talked all night and all night about this novel, from the details of a wording to the narrative technique; I remember that Xiaosi took care of my progress every day when I was writing behind closed doors, Compassionate about my emotions on the phone, listening to me cry when I broke down; I remember her excitement and nervousness when I sent the part of the text written "Wei Wei" to Wei Wei...

These dear friends were the first readers of my book.In some anxious afternoons or evenings, it was you who accompanied my loneliness, cared for my heart, and your affirmation kept me from going to the end.I remember every hug I gave you and the arms I couldn't hold because of the distance. In 2004, I met Wang Lu, He changed me. He did all this magic for me.He is my miracle. He made an album of the same name for the album, which contains five songs, including five styles, chill out, dream pop, folk pop, indie pop, jazz.Except for the introductory narration, the other four songs are given to the four heroines in the book, and the songs are named after them. When you hear them after reading the text, you will know how unified they are.These songs are part of the soul of these women.

He did all this because of idealism. I can only say that I am lucky. Wang Lu, here, I want to tell you that we have surpassed ourselves.Thank you, thank you for insomnia for me, singing for me, and being a producer for me. The photos used in the illustrations in the book are all taken and produced by Shoutao Photo Studio. The member list is as follows: Ai Chengge (China · Anhui) photo producer and model Dye (China·Shanghai) Model Sai Ning (Tianjin, China) Model Lao Yang (Tianjin, China) photographer Hong Sung Jin (Korea) Photography Assistant Xiao Fanchen (China · Anhui) Drama Manager

Fiona (France) Makeup Artist Back staff: Bee and Xiaosi (Tianjin, China) Planning and Creativity Minor (Chengdu, China) language consultant Ma Ying (Tianjin, China) Logistics Finance Ouyang (China·Tianjin) creative planning Provided by Li Fang (Shandong, China) Jewelry This book took a year.The final task is to take pictures. In March 2005, I came to Shanghai. It was extremely cold in Shanghai in March this year, and our three good friends on the Internet formed a mighty team with their relatives and friends.Because time is limited, everyone divides the work.Buy props, make up, hurry, choose scenery, compose...

Tongji, Maoming Road, Chenghuang Temple, Suzhou Creek, the Bund... When I saw Ran at ruzzipizza, she was so beautiful, shy and elegant, and I knew I was right. I have always been a social cleanliness freak, and I am terrified of collaboration.But this time, in Shanghai, I quarreled with Ai Chengge because of our different understanding of image processing, and his roommate will mediate for us again. Please forgive my subjective assumptions.That kind of understanding is not something ordinary people can provide. We were exhausted, and on the last night, after the breakup meal, Ran and her boyfriend went back to Xujiahui's residence, and the rest of us were in the room, blowing up dozens of pearlescent balloons while crying.I have never seen such a beautiful balloon. The group of people who bought props walked a long way to find it.There is also the goldfish in the tank that has been frozen to death, and Xiao Ai standing in the wooden corridor with a long string of balloons.

Back in Beijing, Xiao Ai was still editing the picture. He did it for a week. I can't imagine how much pressure he had to finish the picture. I love Xiao Ai. There is also Ran, she wore a cheongsam to shoot in the cold wind of Suzhou Creek, she comforted me in a taxi when I was anxious, she brought so many exquisite toys and clothes, she was a star everywhere she went, but she was still so So gentle, so shy. Mr. Hong scrambled to pay the meal and car fare; everyone sat around and looked at the photos in the afternoon, and ate the sandwiches that Xiao Hong brought from home in a clean lunch box. Chicken match; the nozzle in the house in Yangpu is very fine, I stood on the concrete floor to take a shower several times and was frozen crazy; Xiao Ai has a T-shirt with dragons and phoenixes; I dare not sit in a taxi if I am late Take another look at Ran; Xiaoai, I also remember the tears you secretly wiped away...

... The book is coming out soon, and I don't want to cry.So I don't write anymore.About us, the cold wind in Shanghai will remember, the taxi driver with toad glasses will remember, the underground passage full of Van Gogh paintings will remember, our camera will always remember, I will remember. Thank you, my friends, we do not distinguish between nationalities, regions, you and me.I have never believed in a group so much, loved a group so much, and relied on a group so much.You kind people have given my youth a kind of faith. We have retained this team, and we can do many, many interesting things together in the future, making Shoutao a new generation of Transformers. All members of Shoutao Mom, Dad, Snow Screen Zeng Zeng, Teacher Jiang Dunguo, Teacher Bai Ye, Peng Hongwu, Teacher Zhang Yiwu, Ouyang, Mianmian, Zhang Xiaocha Tang Yan, Lao Ma, GAMY, Lao Gao, Jelly, lebilly, guitarist Xiao He, singer Cao Yu My classmates Yuema, Shitou, etc. ... I have nothing and come out of nowhere with my bare hands. I have everything again, even the power to fly. Since 2005, I have taken off with my bare hands. With words and music, I fly with bare hands. 2004/10/15 first draft 2005/04/03 second draft Senin 3:37 Lyrics Sai Ning Composed by Wang Lu Arranged by Wang Lu if you need comfort if you need to object if you need warmth If you need pain and fatigue There is no city that is not full of people Only when the city of joy is full of people is it not full of sorrow You wear pearls and sit in the banquet close your eyes close your mouth open your heart Follow the girl on the screen to have fun Follow the man on the screen This imaginary city This movie theater called the Pearl Those of you who have no export Out of control wandering slander suspicion sincere envy Kikujiro and Ozu They fed you with lies let your soul bloom those who are full Each with desire and two lips that change easily But they don't escape, they don't get angry just wanted a two hour trip Take a look at the exotic body and the moon In fact, nothing will be ignored In fact, your heart is pure and kind, praying for prophets and foresight The word deliberately avoided is sadness Let those numb joys die in watching movies Cry, fly, be depressed get out of this theater this city send you a plane For your freedom, for your flight who can make you bright who will comfort you escape your escape escape yourself "Marguerite" 4:04 Lyrics Sai Ning Composed by Wang Lu Arranged by Wang Lu colorful dusk chest fish After seeing the prince at the age of nineteen black balloon flying It didn't take long to see the end margaret kill the thought of leaving here stay and nod Margaret, don't get lost in the crowd like this Spin, don't leave this wooden horse All these years, what are freedom and love? nod and stay "Slight" 3:37 Lyrics Sai Ning Composed by Wang Lu Arranged by Wang Lu The movie on the corner is over leave me without seeing him are you really not coming back let me say something to you again memory won't fade away i try to forget about him are you really not coming back I can't say sayounala to you anymore you leave the bear doll but took my heart away i remember what you said we never speak sayounala The story can't go backwards There are no fairy tales in this world Can't help but cry happy ending go sayounala ch: you know i'm already crying ending it never changes darling i'm already crying The ending of the story (fairy tale) should not be like this "Senin" 4:00 Lyrics Saining & Slightly composed by Wang Lu Arranged by Wang Lu I feel for a soul so far away by the sea I feel it in life before can you feel I know I may never see, you are alone with only me. I've no time before Im old. but I have some time to kill. (I want to find someone on the beach not far away I can always feel his presence Maybe I'll never find it, but he's with me I'll keep searching until I'm old Maybe searching is my only exit) "Lesbian" 4:42 Lyrics Sai Ning Composed by Wang Lu Arranged by Wang Lu Everything does not exist tears flow down leave without waiting Close your eyes and feel something floating outside the window But when I opened my eyes, I found that it was just a cloud drifting away I've been thinking about it for a long time, but I can't figure it out But it all seems a little unexpected, a little weird, a little sad, which isn't bad. tell me why (bye, I'll open the doors) (give me a reason) tell me guy (bye, I'll lock my heart) ch: Walking on the street and sitting in the car, I can't forget that you showed up and looked at me Sleeping in dreams singing in songs I can't forget that you once showed up and hugged me Repeating the same picture every day makes me feel like you haven't lost me yet forget the past forget yourself Everything does not exist tears flow down leave without waiting (Guitar Wang Lu He Zhengxian mix&master Wang Lu Producer Wang Lu Executive ProducerToy Cat Home Studio Recording studio Toy Cat Home Studio)