Chapter 14 raw (1)

Today's moon is pale and feeble, like a round ball of toilet paper suspended in the sky, and the moonlight does not seem to exist.Chen Yan looked at the moon, Fang Rongrong looked at his hand, Yuan Jing looked at a certain plant, all three of them were in a daze. It was Fang Rongrong who made the first move again. She suddenly got up and squatted down, and then started digging a hole on the ground. After digging a hole, she put a paper boat in it.Yuan Jing stood up, stopped Fang Rongrong, and said that he couldn't bury all the paper boats he worked so hard to fold.As she said that, she took out a lighter from her pants pocket and wanted to ignite the paper boat, but the wind was so strong that the flame swayed in the wind, and there was no way to ignite it.Yuan Jing was so angry that he threw the lighter far away.Chen Yan started digging holes, and Yuan Jing also started digging holes after standing for a while.

In the end, Fang Rongrong dug 4 pits, Chen Yan and Yuan Jing both had 2 pits.Fang Rongrong's hands were already bleeding, and the nails were covered with mud.Yuan Jing sat down on the ground and said, "No planing, go back to get a basin at night, find a place with no wind, and burn them all!" Chen Yan: "Let's keep it, it will be nothing if it is burned..." Fang Rongrong said: "I want to keep it too!" Chen Yan suddenly knelt down facing the river, made a prayer posture, and closed his eyes.Fang Rongrong and Yuan Jing also knelt down afterward, and all three of them faced the river, thinking about each other.Chen Yan tried her best to make herself think only of Kurt, but her brain is a messy place after all, there is no way to be quiet, and things that have nothing to do with this are also coming and going in her mind.

A pair of lovers came from a distance, saw three girls kneeling on the ground, turned their heads and left without knowing what happened.Chen Yan had hypoglycemia, and when she stood up, she felt dizzy.Fang Rongrong looked at his watch and found that it was only 8:30, so he couldn't help sighing. Under the warm sky, three girls were lying on the riverside with their heads together, using their schoolbags as pillows. The night is slowly falling, and the previously dull moon is now gathering light and becoming a little fuller.Yuan Jing was about to fall asleep. If there was no Kurt, and this memorial day, at this hour, they should be sitting in the classroom, waiting for school to be over.

Chen Yan has been looking at the moon with his eyes open, and the moon will be dazzling if he looks at it for a long time.She has always liked looking at the moon. When she was a child, air conditioning was not yet popular, and every summer, the whole building slept on the top floor.At that time, the word private was not as deeply rooted in the hearts of the people as it is now, and everyone was very relaxed about public spaces.At that time, she couldn't sleep at night, looking at the moon, the moon has a different face every day, once she saw a little dancing figure in the moon, he was shaking his slender feet, dancing a strange dance... …Chen Yan, who was lying on the bottom of the beach, looked at the moon again, and suddenly the little dancing figure appeared in front of him, exactly the same as the one he saw when he was a child.Although Chen Yan could only see the silhouette-like pattern, she could feel it was three-dimensional.

The villain was dancing a weird dance, and he had already entered a state of madness, as if he had drunk a few bottles of whiskey. Yuan Jing had a short dream, and when he suddenly woke up, he forgot all the content of the dream, but vaguely felt that it should be a good dream.She looked around and suddenly said, "There is a performance tonight!" Fang Rongrong turned her head to her side and said, "Is it to commemorate Nirvana's performance?" "yes!" "How do you know?" "Of course I know, I've looked it up on the Internet a long time ago!"

"I checked it online too!" "let's go!" The villain continued to dance, and Chen Yan only looked at him, not paying attention to their conversation. Yuan Jing sat up and found that Chen Yan was staring at the sky in a daze, she shook her hand in front of Chen Yan.The villain was suddenly covered, Chen Yan woke up, saw Yuan Jing's hand, Yuan Jing patted her head and said, "Are you crazy?" "No, no!" Fang Rongrong also sat up and said, "Did you hear what we said, let's go to the show!" Chen Yan also checked online, but she always felt that it was an adult's business, which was far away from her.The humidity by the river was heavy, and Chen Yan's body ached a little. She sat up and said, "But that's in Wuchang, so far away..."

Yuan Jing was already so excited that he started to pack his schoolbag, saying: "Wuchang is far away, isn't it just across the river, and it will take only ten minutes to get there!" Fang Rongrong also seemed a little excited. Before Chen Yan could express his opinion, the two of them had already stood up with their schoolbags on their backs. Yuan Jing also helped Chen Yan carry his schoolbags.A large bag of paper boats was still on the ground, and Chen Yan said, "Let's divide it up." Both Fang Rongrong and Yuan Jing nodded, and as they spoke, the three began to stuff the paper boats into their schoolbags.Chen Yan's schoolbag was in a mess. Her schoolbag was sealed with a cloth belt, and it didn't even have a zipper. It didn't look like a schoolbag at all.The three of them jokingly scrambled for each other, fighting and fighting, and finally divided up the paper boat.

Both Chen Yan and Yuan Jing were about to leave, picked up the plastic bags behind, and said as they walked, "Don't pollute the bottom beach, don't pollute the bottom beach." Chen Yan looked up at the moon, and the villain was still dancing. "Look, look, there is a little figure dancing in the moon!" Both Yuan Jing and Fang Rongrong looked up at the moon, it was just a toilet paper-colored garden dish, and there was nothing inside.Yuan Jing patted Chen Yan's head and said, "Are you crazy? What villain?" Chen Yan also had no way to explain, pouted and walked forward with his head bowed.

In fact, the villain is still inside the moon, there is only a thin line between what can be seen and what cannot be seen... After leaving the Bund, Yuan Jing flagged down a taxi with dancing.Fang Rongrong sat in the front row without saying a word, while Chen Yan and Yuan Jing sat in the back.After getting into the car, Fang Rongrong skillfully told the driver the address, the driver started, and Yuan Jing said from behind, "Why did you sit in the front all of a sudden?" "You don't know the way, we will definitely get lost if you sit in front!" "Okay, I don't know the way! I really know the way..."

Yuan Jing struggled with the way from home to the bus station for a month, and her mother took her to the bus station every day for a full month.Even so, she often gets lost when walking out of the community. She complains that there are too many houses in the community, and they all look exactly the same. Chen Yan and Yuan Jing took out all their money and put it in Fang Rongrong's hands.Among the three, Fang Rongrong was the most clear-headed, and it had become a habit of this small group to hand over all the money to her.Fang Rongrong counted the money in front, and began to calculate the expenses for tonight in his mind.

"That's enough for tonight!" Fang Rongrong seemed confident. There was a rough voice on the radio, playing some pop singer's song, the sound was flat and drowsy.Chen Yan looked out the window, but couldn't find the moon. Fang Rongrong sat in the front seat, as if he and the highway were disappearing little by little.She remembered the first time she heard Nirvana's Unplugged from her brother's place, and remembered going to buy a VCD with Chen Yan and Yuan Jing when it was snowing... The car stopped at the entrance of the bar, Yuan Jing walked in the front, and there were two young boys standing guard at the entrance, who seemed to be students in the university.Yuan Jing pretended not to see them and wanted to rush in, but was stopped.Yuan Jing asked: "Why don't you let me in?" "Buy a ticket!" "oh oh……" "How many?" "15, a glass of wine." "What if we don't drink?" The gatekeeper smiled and said, "It's all at this price!" "We are students!" The gatekeeper laughed again and said, "Forget it, you can buy tickets for two people!" The sound penetrated from inside, and Chen Yan stood at the entrance, feeling as if there was another world in front of him.The inexplicable excitement is like a mosquito, flying past close to the body from time to time, accidentally biting a large cell by it, and then enduring the itching it brings. It is only a dozen seconds away from the entrance to the interior, but it is a long passage for the three of them.On the other side of the tunnel is a place they have never been to, and their private kurt is shared by everyone on the other side of the tunnel. "Come in! It's been a while!" The gatekeeper outside urged kindly, and they still walked slowly, tiptoeing to the other end of the passage. As soon as his foot stepped inside, Chen Yan was hit by a bass, the guitar, vocals and drums all stopped, only the bass was playing.She was a little dizzy, this was the first time she saw a live performance, and she had never even touched a guitar before.Yuan Jing and Fang Rongrong were on her left and right sides, and the three supported each other for fear of falling.A group of people crowded the front, as if to engulf the small stage.Chen Yan suddenly broke away from Yuan Jing and Fang Rongrong and walked forward. She tried her best to open a way for herself, passed through the body with various smells, avoided all kinds of violent movements that might hurt her, and tried to get close to the sound. Find a place for yourself.She faced the vibrations flying out of the speakers, she opened her pores and let the sound enter her body. Fang Rongrong put his hand on the speaker on the right, trying to feel the vibration coming from it.Chen Yan's hand was placed on the playback box, and there was also vibration there, and each thing had a different vibration frequency.Yuan Jing jumped up with the people next to her, and quickly integrated into other people. She was afraid of being different from others, afraid of being discovered, and afraid of being rejected.Sometimes Yuan Jing is like a poor chameleon, always wanting to have the same color as the surrounding environment.For her, this world is a cat-and-mouse arena, and she always has inexplicable anxiety. Are you awake?Chen Yan felt as if he had been hit, and he didn't have much strength to move.The reality she despises seems to have a little life now, she is still standing stiffly, unable to blend into the dance steps of the crowd, under the skin, she has begun to melt. The second band guy came up to tune it up, and the drummer showed a big tattoo on his calf, he put on the fork, and hit the kick drum.The guitarist hooked up his own effects unit, twisted those beautiful buttons, and plucked the strings casually, making evacuated sounds.There seems to be a distortion effect device hidden in Chen Yan's ears, which distorts all passing sounds, which is the result of plugging in headphones for a long time.There were also aftershocks, like the aftermath of an earthquake, Chen Yan stepped on the floor carefully, for fear of falling.Fang Rongrong and Yuan Jing were arguing with people at the bar, and they said that the free beer was gone.Fang Rongrong took out the crumpled money from his pants pocket and bought a large glass of beer.Chen Yan asked her why she only bought one cup, and she said that if she bought more, she would have no money to take a taxi home. The three of them took a sip of beer each, filling their stomachs with the golden liquid.Huang Rui was standing not far from Chen Yan with a few friends.He saw a silent girl, bangs almost covering her eyes.The few lights in the darkness fell on the tip of her upturned nose, and the wrinkled lips underneath were a little dim, not commensurate with her age.The schoolbag was unzipped again, only Huang Rui seemed to notice it.There seemed to be something shiny in the bag, Huang Rui tiptoed curiously, but couldn't see what it was... Chen Yan drank a big mouthful of beer, Yuan Jing took the glass from her hand, and swallowed a big mouthful of beer, the cold liquid stimulated her fragile stomach, a slight convulsion was triggered, and the pain quickly dissipated in the body, Spread to fingertips.She looked at the people around her. They were all well-dressed and blended in with the surrounding atmosphere.And she herself was wearing baggy school trousers and had outdated hair. The light and shadow seemed to reflect a mirror, and she saw herself in that mirror. The three of them were wearing the same school trousers, squatting in the corner like three grasshoppers, inhaling the smoke from others, and watching people coming and going. "She is becoming more and more disobedient now, and she has turned off her phone, and she is about to take the college entrance examination, which is too shameful..." Chen Yan's mother repeated this sentence nearly 20 times in various ways.Her speech was rapid, she was full of inexplicable boredom, and she needed to speak.She wants to be angry, to quarrel, to blush, to have blood boil.But Chen Yan's father was so calm that it was suffocating. He sat firmly on the sofa, taking every puff of cigarette carefully.He treated her in the way she resisted the most, so she became more hysterical. In the bar, a second band fiddles thinly.Chen Yan's senses seemed to have adapted to the sound and atmosphere, and the excitement shrank instantly.They sang nirvana songs, the thin lead vocalist squeezing his voice out of his vocal cords, trying to sound as good as Kurt.Chen Yan was already getting bored, she was so easily bored.She is a person who frustrates others and herself, and can never be happy.The lead singer of the band started to spray beer. Chen Yan, Yuan Jing and Fang Rongrong hid behind, not wanting to get dirty with the saliva.The performance ended almost half past eleven, and people seemed unwilling to leave, but the group that gathered slowly dispersed.Without the support of the sound, the smoke slowly swirled down in the light and fell on Chen Yan's dirty Converse sneakers. "Let's go! It's almost twelve o'clock." Fang Rongrong yawned as she spoke, and she began to worry that she didn't do a lot of practice questions today, and she didn't know how long it would take to make up. Chen Yan's schoolbag was baggy behind his back, with his mouth open.A drunken man knocked Chen Yan to the ground, and immediately everything in the schoolbag was spilled.The paper boats flew to different shoes, and everyone around stopped, looking at the paper boats on the ground, thinking that someone was doing magic... Homework books, papers, scattered on the ground, and the iron pencil case broke loudly. Open, 0.5 pencil lead fell into the gap in the floor. Three people buried their heads in picking up things, and people moved their feet away, and occasionally bent down to help pick up one. When Huang Rui came out of the bathroom, there happened to be a trampled paper boat at his feet.He picked up the injured paper boat and looked it over carefully. Under the light ball, the golden cellophane refracted a strange luster.He saw Chen Yan pick up the paper boat and stuff it into his schoolbag, her head was lowered to the extreme, as if she would never see her face.He walked to her side, and Chen Yan's dirty pair of No. 44 Converse shoes came into Chen Yan's sight. She raised her head, and he squatted down.Her eyes, he found that they were a pair of bright eyes, although they were separated by thick bangs.Seeing the paper boat in his hand, she hurriedly pulled it away from him, and said thank you bluntly. Standing at the door of the house, it's past twelve o'clock. Standing at the door like this, he didn't dare to ring the doorbell.Looking at the voice-activated lights, they went off again and again, and Chen Yan stomped to turn them on again. Huang Rui was still killing time in the bar. He sat on a comfortable chair and watched the spinning light balls until the boss said it was closing.He moved the chair and turned to leave, but unexpectedly found a black notebook lying under the chair, which was Chen Yan's diary. Chen Yan put her ear on the big iron door, trying to hear the movement inside, but the thick anti-theft door blocked all sounds, and she could only hear the breathing of steel.It was the first time for her to be so intimate with the anti-theft door. She sat on the ground with her ears firmly pressed against the iron sheet, and she didn't even want to move away.When I close my glasses, I feel that there is a family of rabbits living in the anti-theft door. They eat carrots and watch TV, warm and harmonious.It turned out that the lost rabbit settled in the door and lived happily.Her heart gradually calmed down, and the iron sheet had the same temperature as her face, becoming as warm as a pillow.She slept, and it wasn't cold in April. Cheng Ke faltered on the phone, saying that Chen Yan might have gone to a classmate's house. Chen Yan's father hung up the phone, put on his coat, and said, "I'll go outside to take a look." His father turned the complicated door lock, and the voice Chen Yanlai came from another world. When she raised her head, she thought she saw her father in a dream. "It's okay, it's okay, she's back." Dad said to Mom. Chen Yan woke up, her legs were numb, she stood up, the back of her butt was chilly. Mom forgot to let Chen Yan into the house, but asked, "Where did you go?" "Where did you go?" "You are talking nonsense with your eyes open! You didn't go anywhere, and you came back so late?" "I really didn't go anywhere..." "I asked where you were? Tell me!" Dad stopped them and said to go in first, and he pulled Chen Yan into the room.Chen Yan rubbed off his shoes and walked straight to his room, but his mother stopped her and grabbed her by the collar.Dad hurried up to make a rescue, she moved her mother's hand away, and Chen Yan walked behind him, and his father began to say in that unhurried tone: "Forget it, forget it, I'll ask tomorrow if I have anything, it's too late today Already!" Of course, mother didn't want to give up, she broke away from father and went to catch Chen Yan, which was obviously like an eagle catching a chick.Chen Yan dodged a few steps, and his father began to persuade him again, constantly saying: "It's getting late, Yan Yan has to go to school tomorrow, let's talk about it tomorrow." In fact, it's not too late at all. Chen Yan usually does his homework every day. Watching DVDs in the quilt, at least until 1:00.Mom started talking non-stop: "You still protect her, she ran outside at such a young age and didn't even make a phone call, and turned off the phone when she made a call!" Chen Yan hid behind and added: "No electricity?" Mom got even more angry and started to say: "Where is there no phone? You can find one anywhere, no classmates? No public phone? I tell you, don't hide behind your dad. You have to tell me what you are doing today." Go! Don't do anything unless you make it clear..." Chen Yan took advantage of the situation and fled into his room, and his mother continued to toss a little at the door before being persuaded by his father to enter his room.After the noise, I was exhausted, and my mother felt unexpectedly relaxed and fell asleep soundly. Chen Yan rolled up the towel and pajamas, quietly walked into the bathroom, and took a comfortable hot shower.Putting on the pajamas that had been baked by the sun, Chen Yan got into the quilt, his sore body seemed to be relieved, and the bed was always very comfortable at certain moments.Chen Yan moved around on the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position, when suddenly there was a knock on the door.Only Dad would knock on the door before entering. Chen Yan hurriedly arranged his clothes, and said, "Come in!" Although Dad tried to walk lightly, his leather slippers creaked.He stood by the bed, and Chen Yan quickly made room for him to sit down. Dad asked her in that very magnetic but not old voice: "Yanyan, where did you go at night? Tell Dad!" Chen Yan sat up a little, leaned against the wall, looked at Kurt Cobain's poster, pointed to it and said to his father, "His memorial day!" Dad began to look at the poster, and the fine lines that were not easy to see appeared.Chen Yan always wondered what his father would be like when he was old, but he couldn't imagine it.Dad's appearance doesn't seem to have changed much since he was a child, and he also dresses like a young man, as if he won't grow old.The point is that he doesn't have any middle-aged smell on him, and he can't smell it even if he holds his breath.He washes his face carefully, trims his beard, and pays attention to his diet. Coupled with his natural thick eyebrows and big eyes, it makes people think that the man in front of him is at most 30 years old. Dad glanced at the small bookshelf where Chen Yan kept his records, and said, "He's also in music, right? Dead?" "Well, he is the lead singer of Nirvana, he is dead..." "How did you die?" "Suicide..." "How did you commit suicide?" "There are many reasons. In fact, no one can explain..." "Well, there are some things that I can't explain... Are you doing it for him tonight?" "Well, I went to see a performance commemorating him. It's far away in Wuchang, so I came back late." "In Wuchang? Do you have enough money? Do you still have money for tomorrow?" Chen Yan nodded, Dad is too thoughtful, he will help you think about practical problems that you haven't thought of.Every time Chen Yan felt that the two were very close, his father would start to show that kind of overly caring and thoughtful, Chen Yan would always be scared away by his methods, and for a long time, they couldn't really get close at all. Dad patted Chen Yan on the head and said, "I understand this, but Mom and Dad are too worried. The social security outside is too bad now. You are a girl, we as parents are really worried." Dad was always able to change the topic, from Kurt Cobain to social security, when Chen Yan was talking to him, he always felt that what he wanted to talk about was dragged away by his father, and he still used a kind of nonchalant way.Chen Yan nodded again, she suddenly remembered that tomorrow she had to settle the teacher, and now is a good opportunity to ask her father for help, so she quickly put on a shameful look and said, "Dad, there is one more thing I want to tell you... " Dad immediately said in a more cordial tone than before: "What's the matter? Tell me!" "I escaped an evening self-study... It's still the class teacher's..." Dad bowed his head and thought for a while, and made an expression of thinking of a solution. Chen Yan knew that his action was a superfluous action, and the solution was ready-made. Chen Yan saw him and "Congzi" fighting landlords at home several times, so he said hello to this kind of thing. It's over.Dad still pretended to be thinking. After a while, Dad raised his head, stroked his beardless chin, and said, "Well, let me call your head teacher and talk about it. There should be no big problem. Sleep well, don't think about anything!" Chen Yan pretended to be very grateful and said, "Well, I'm going to sleep now!" Dad patted her on the head again, then got up, and said as he walked, "I'm leaving..." Chen Yan watched him go out, then stared at the ceiling in a daze.She forgot when her father became another person. Every day he writes is thoughtful and thoughtful, but everything is designed, and she has never been moved.But she remembered that Dad used to yell at a small bench on a hot day. He sawed and sawed it until it could be placed on the back of the bicycle smoothly. The bench is rigidly fastened to the back seat.He also tried his best to get half a bucket of red paint, and painted the bench and steel wire red.She remembers the time when she sat on her throne like a princess and Dad stepped onto his bike and rode gracefully across the road to take her to kindergarten. She sat up suddenly, turned on the desk lamp, and spread out her schoolbag.She inspected each of the paper boats, wiping away their footprints and smoothing out their wrinkles. "Did you see my black diary?" "If you don't pack your things and ask me for them, I've never seen them before." Finding that the diary was missing, Chen Yan panicked like a frightened rabbit.She rummaged around in the room, under the quilt, under the bed, in the middle of the drawer...every corner. In a blink of an eye, it was ten minutes to seven, and she rushed out of the house and got into a small numb car.On the busy road in the morning, a small numbness is like an ant, which may be trampled to death at any time.Along the way, she comforted herself that the things she couldn't find were not lost, they must have been placed somewhere and she couldn't remember them, and they would definitely reappear sometime. Kurt Cobain's memorial day is over, but life goes on. Everyone doesn't have any life skills, and life is not going well.Time is strutting forward as always, everything must go on, and no one can stop it. You can't sleep in math class, it's the main class, and you will be caught if you miss a little bit; in Chinese class, you can only take a nap, and the teacher is more emotional. When you are in a bad mood, you don't like everyone. If it is her turn, she will have a bad temper I can only sleep for a while in history class, the history teacher is a bit merciful, and he will not be able to see it if he sleeps for too long or is too arrogant; he can't sleep at all in English class, the belly of the bug is dangling in front of his eyes, who sleeps Who is unlucky; you can sleep in geography class, it's embarrassing to say, the geography teacher is the best, out of helplessness, every time I sleep in geography class, good people will always be bullied. Throughout the morning, Chen Yan struggled between sleeping and staying awake. During English class, she started to cry, but she had to fight back to stay awake.She looked back at Cheng Ke, resting her head on her hands, sleeping very happily, and Wang Feng slept more soundly beside her with her head on her side.Sometimes it is really better not to learn at all, and leave it in the last row to do whatever you want.When it came to geography class, Chen Yan naturally fell apart completely. After a good sleep in class, he woke up 5 minutes before the end of get out of class. As soon as he woke up, he saw the typhoon graph drawn by the teacher on the blackboard.Equatorial high pressure belts, ocean currents, mudslides, cyclones, air pressure...these terms are spinning in Chen Yan's mind, but she just can't establish a reasonable connection between these words and the specific things they refer to. Geography is like a word in her mouth. A small ulcer on my body, it is very uncomfortable to move it lightly. The bell rang for the end of get out of class, and the geography teacher finished drawing the last cyclone, and then announced the end of get out of class.Yuan Jing patted Chen Yan on the shoulder, motioning for her to go out to eat together, Chen Yan stood up reluctantly, with no strength, like a layer of paper. The stairs were so crowded that they might collapse. Chen Yan was squeezed into the crowd, feeling like a cabbage being fried in a frying pan.The dinosaur bubble started to appear again, it floated just under the eyelids, and finally landed on the head of a boy in front of him.The boy had obviously used hairspray or something, and his hair was as hard as steel wire, and the bubble burst when the little dinosaur moved.The little red dinosaur fell on his head and barked at Chen Yan like a kitten.Chen Yan couldn't help reaching out his hand to the boy's head, wanting to hold the little dinosaur in his palm. Yuan Jing took Chen Yan's hand, and leaned into her ear and said, "Are you abnormal again? Do you touch this kind of person too?" Dinosaur Bubbles disappeared, Chen Yan looked around, she said vaguely: "No, who touched him?" "Then what were you doing just now?" "Think something fell on his head?"