Chapter 21 Chapter 21

Back, finally back. Not only the body comes back, but also the memory. Nelson had completely washed away my random thoughts and turned me into a normal and healthy woman. I was even more gentle and docile than before, and I was interested in going to the kitchen. Even my husband felt that such a spouse could spend a lifetime together. My family has noticed that I have improved. Just at this time, because of a box of candy, I recalled the old me. I sit in shock. Fifty years have passed like this, things have changed, people have changed, I don't know how to start looking for my mother in their place, and now I come back, I don't know how to adapt again.

Not everyone has the opportunity to go through such a painful ordeal. I lay down on the table, every nerve was tense, and I couldn't breathe in pain. However, after these forty-five days of journey, I have matured, and I have learned to calm down, grit my teeth and endure. Must see step by step. I went out and asked my husband, "Can I borrow your car?" "It's a slow train." The husband laughed. "I'm just going to my mother's." "drive carefully," "Thanks for caring." The children are still in bed, I gently touch the receiver on their foreheads, but it looks like a blood-red mole, I hope their thoughts will never be intercepted.

My sister woke up and called me softly. I called out to Ai Mei by chance, and I was immediately startled and kept silent. Then he patted his sister on the back of the hand and told her to continue to rest. I went out to see my mother. She was resting in the garden, and the artificial turf was like a green blanket, unknowingly, which made her even more lonely. "Mom." I walked over. "You really came." She was pleasantly surprised. I hold her hand tightly, this is Aimee. "Why are you free? I thought you were just talking." "It will be very free in the future, and I will visit you from time to time."

Mother was very surprised, "You?" "There should be a change," I said apologetically, "I want to spend more time with you." "Come in, sit down, and speak slowly." Her hands are also old, with yellow spots on the back of the hands, straight pits on the nails, everything shows that she is an old woman, and the skin is rolling around the wrists. I couldn't help calling her again: "Mom." "What's wrong with you," she laughed, "it seems like a different person since you were discharged from the hospital." "Tell me the story of this brooch." I stepped into the topic.

"You don't like to hear it." "I love it, please tell me." She heard the urgency in my tone, and found it strange. "It was given to me by an aunt." "What's her name, do you remember?" Mother nodded, "Her surname also happens to be Lu, Lu Yi, so I will give you this name in memory of her." "Where is she?" "Dead early in the morning." "Who told you that?" "Her husband, Mr. Fang," My heart moved, and I swallowed hot tears abruptly. "By the way, tell me, is it Mr. Fang who brought you up?"

"No, not Mr. Fang." Mother sighed. I became nervous, did Fang Zhongxin break his promise? "what happened?" Mother laughed, wrinkles danced on her forehead, "Old things, why bring them up?" "No, I want to listen." "I'm afraid you'll be so annoyed that you'll scream like you used to." She said, "I'll make you a cup of tea." How could I relax her at such a critical moment, "Mom, hurry up, how is Mr. Fang?" She had to sit down, "Mr. Fang Zhongxin passed away in less than three years." I lost my voice, "How can it be so good?" I was heartbroken.

"Your face is pale," the mother was surprised, "what's the matter?" I quickly turned my head away, "That Mr. Fang is a good man." "A good man may not live to be a hundred years old." "What's wrong with him?" "Later, I heard from my guardian that it was cancer." I leaned on the chair blankly, not daring to show any clues in front of my mother, and I couldn't say a word, suffering like coptis. "Good people always die young. I am an orphan to the letter. After losing my parents, I lost Uncle Fang. Alas."

"Who will be your guardian afterward?" "An old lawyer." "Mr. Fang has no relatives?" I thought of his sister. "There was a sister." "How is she?" "Hey, what do you know about these irrelevant things decades ago?" "Mom, please don't be secretive, tell me quickly." "She married many times, but she didn't get happiness. Later, she closed her business, immigrated to a foreign country, and died in a foreign land." I leaned on Anle's back in a daze, and listened to my mother talking about the past of the Fang family.

They talked about their whole life in just a few words, as if there was nothing good to say, like they missed a wonderful movie when they were young, and asked others anxiously: What happened next?Did the bad guys get their rewards?Did the beauty marry the handsome boy? But the audience present was never able to express their ideas, and could not express the plot in words, which was so frustrating. Because I was not there, I had to ask my mother to tell me, but she is not a person who knows how to tell stories. I admire people who tell good stories. They are vivid, lively, come and go, the characters are lifelike, and the plot is tactful...

I sigh. The mother continued, "I was really young at that time, and I couldn't remember so much." Weary and sad, I asked: "There is no image left?" "No, nothing," my mother said suddenly, "but I have memories, and I will always miss the two of them in my heart." Yes, memory. I've exhausted my mother's memory, and it's useless to talk to her. She has repeated and repeated all these years, but these fragments. She could only hear her murmuring: "Mrs. Fang is so kind to me, even young children can feel her love. No one will love me more than Mrs. Fang in the rest of my life."

"Mom, I love you too." I blurted out. Throwing a slight smile, no comment. "I used to be careless and didn't understand, Mom, from now on, I will love you well." She was surprised, "Why do you suddenly become filial, it's a bit gross." I take a deep breath. "You young people are busy and neglect family affection, so you have no other choice." "Mom, do you remember Mrs. Fang's appearance?" "She is so beautiful." "You remember when you were so young?" She nodded affirmatively, "There is nothing more beautiful." "Like who?" "Like the Virgin Mary." "Like someone around me?" I suggested to her. "How come, no one is as dignified and beautiful as her." She disagreed. "Does it look like you?" I said very blatantly. "Not like." "Like me?" I was really anxious. The mother laughed, "You are considered beautiful in the eyes of my mother." "No, no, Mrs. Fang is different." Mother said. "Not at all?" I said. "You're so frizzy..." She looked at me. Mother has deified "Mrs. Fang". In her mind, Mrs. Fang is the most holy, beautiful and kind, unmatched by anyone. I'm just her careless, hurried, and absent-minded little daughter, how could she believe that I am Mrs. Fang, and Mrs. Fang is me. Mrs. Fang is her belief. I held my mother's hand and said with pity: "We will be together more in the future, and I will visit you often. Mom, do you want me to move in with you?" "Live with me?" The mother was stunned and shook her hands. "Don't be kidding. Our two generations have very different thoughts and lifestyles. It is impossible to get along with each other. We must not live together." She rejects me?I am speechless. I thought I could make up for her, but she is used to living alone, self-sufficient, and no longer expects to be cared for and loved by anyone. How sad, sooner or later, we will be trained in this environment to be as hard as iron and as hard as steel. I have nothing to say, it's too late. "You've been really weird these two days," my mother laughed, "Isn't there something wrong?" I stared out of the window, "Mother, Mr. Fang's tomb..." "In this city, I visit graves every year." "I wanna go." "What does it have to do with you? Just got out of the hospital, the weather is hot, what should I do if I get sunstroke?" She still told me the grave site. I am going immediately. I always feel that he has just been buried, but in fact it has been more than forty years, and the tomb has been arched. The bluestone slab is covered with moss, and the writing on the tombstone has become blurred. My hands were shaking, I squatted down, and reached out to grope.On it was written Fang Zhongxin, 1955-1988. There is a line of small characters next to it, wait a minute, what is it, I turned my face forward to look at it, under this look, the three souls disappeared and the seven souls disappeared. It turned out that there was an inscription on the tablet: Yi, I love you forever. Fang knew I would find this, he knew I would see this line, he knew it. With a cool stone tablet on my forehead, Hao Tao burst into tears. I have to come back, I have to go, we have to break up. In this life, I have been treated kindly and loved by you, and I am enough to think about it. I burst into tears. In this remote cemetery, no one came to pay attention to me. I hid under the shade of a tree and cried for an unknown amount of time. I felt short of breath, dizzy, and my limbs were weak, and I refused to stand up and walk.Although the world is big, it seems that there is no place for me. Without Fang Zhongxin to lead me, I don't know where to go. Kneeling on the slate floor until my knees became numb, the sky was getting dark, I had no choice but to settle. And I can't reveal my sadness too much, lest people know my secret.