Chapter 14 Goodbye Rose Part Four (4)

My father thought I was in a trance and was very surprised. I had nothing to say, so I left. Rose ate very little, she said she was tired. Back at Zhuang's apartment, I opened the door and went in, and saw his girlfriend come out with a livid face. She ignored me and walked away as soon as she turned her head away.Zhuang is watching TV. "What's wrong?" I asked. Zhuang's eyes were still on the colorful cartoon, playing Popeye vigorously. "Zhuang," I said, "what's the matter?" Zhuang said: "I told her that I never loved her. What I loved was always someone else."

"Didn't you change your face and become a newcomer?" "I was wrong, she still controls my soul." Zhuang said simply. After he finished speaking, he focused on Popeye and kept silent.His lips were tightly closed, his face was very bad, but his eyes were shining like a beast. I found it strange, but I couldn't care less about myself. I said, "I'd better go to Paris and take your advice." He no longer answers me. I packed my clothes, picked up a light box, and felt in my bag, but there was not much money left, so I took a stack of banknotes from Lao Zhuang's drawer.

Before I left, I said to him, "I borrowed three hundred pounds from you, and I'm going to take the night boat to Paris now. I think it's better for us to rot separately." I don't know if he heard what I said. I took the hovercraft to Baolong in that Volkswagen, which was ready to leave at any time, and then went south to Paris. It was almost dawn when we arrived in Paris.I ran to Notre Dame to pray. If your heart can be broken into a hundred pieces in Hong Kong, then your heart can be broken into a thousand pieces in Notre Dame Cathedral in the morning light in Paris.

I rented a hotel and stayed there, waiting for Daddy and Rose to leave.Sitting by the "Pont Neuf" of the Seine in a daze every morning, listening to the chatter of the blondes. After running out of money, she called her sisters for help, and she yelled: "Luo Zhenzhong! Where are you on the earth?" I said, "Paris. And my money is gone, and the flowers in Huadu are no longer fragrant." "Father is looking for you, please come back quickly." The young lady said. "He hasn't left yet?" I was surprised. "It was a bit of a surprise, so I stayed. Come back soon, there is something important."

"There are so many important things, and the Luo family has important things three hundred and sixty-five days a year, so I don't believe it." "Luo Zhenzhong, how dare you not come back!" "Okay, I'll be back, I'll be back." I went back to London in that old car. The big ship passed the Strait of Dover, the wind was whistling, the sky was deep purple, and the seagulls were humming hoarsely. I almost wanted to drive down the black water with people and cars, and disappear from the world. But I didn't do that, I didn't have the courage.

I went back to London and stood before my father as a good son. My father really wanted to find me. He cut to the chase and said, "Epicenter, I have something important to go back to Hong Kong, and I want you to take care of your stepmother." I looked up. Father coughed, "The epicenter—" seemed to have something hard to say. "What's the matter?" I couldn't help it, "Why didn't you two go back together?" She left me early so that I could live and work in peace. "She refuses to go back to Hong Kong." My father stopped here, sighed, stood up and walked away.

I asked my eldest sister: "What's going on? Are they arguing?" "It's not a quarrel, she's having an affair with your good friend Zhuang Guodong." The elder sister stumbled and said. "What?" My ears almost fell off. "Zhuang Guodong," said the eldest sister, "the two of them date every day." "He's crazy." "I think so too." The eldest sister said, "He wants to find a girlfriend, and he can choose from truckloads of girlfriends. How could this happen? Father can no longer negotiate with the younger generation. You go and settle this matter." figure out."

"Me?" I took a step back. "How are you?" The eldest sister said angrily, "Your father has raised you for a thousand days, and used it for one day, but you don't want to contribute, and you are still talking?" "Okay, I'll talk to him, where does he live now? Where does Rose live?" "Gose lives in Xia Hui, and he lives in the old apartment." "I'll go." "What did you go and talk about? Be careful to make things stiff. I knew something like this would happen. The ancients said that when you marry a wife and virtue, you have a knife on your head. There is nothing wrong with this."

"You are old, Miss." I went out to find Lao Zhuang. I found him in the office building. Lao Zhuang is full of energy, his spirits are flying high, and his whole body exudes supreme vitality. What makes him so happy?It's unbelievable. I folded my arms in front of my chest coldly, squinting at him, "Old Zhuang, a gentleman does not take what others like." He didn't mind, and asked with a smile: "Your favorite, or your father's favorite?" "I'm warning you, Zhuang Guodong, don't be terrified!" I raised my voice. "Yes," he said, "you're angry, Epicentre, but I think you should listen to my explanation."

"What else do you have to say? Do you still have the guts to work here?" I raised my eyebrows, "My friend's wife is not a joke, have you heard?" "But when I knew her," Zhuang said in a clear and calm voice, "she wasn't anyone's wife, she was only seventeen years old." "Seventeen years old—" I was stunned, "Zhuang, Zhuang..." "It's her, Yellow Rose. The epicenter, we love the same person, we are saddened by it, it is also the same person, and the person who wants to love but dare not love is also the same person. There is no second Yellow Rose in the world. Should have known by now."

I was shocked. "I've lost her once, epicentre, and I don't intend to lose her again." He added, "It's fated, epicenter, fated, don't you believe in fate? I met you just to meet her again." , everything is arranged in the dark.” I calmed down and said, "I can't let you ruin my family's happiness." "Epicenter," he seemed to understand my thoughts, "I understand you too well, you can't love her yourself, but it's good to leave her at Luo's house and see, isn't it—" With a left hook, I sent him flying and hit the small filing cabinet, crashing like a building collapsed, crushing the cabinet, and fell to the ground in a mess, the female staff were like female characters in a stimulating movie Scream like that. Lao Zhuang fell to the ground, he smiled wryly, touched the blood from the corner of his mouth, but he didn't say anything. I pointed at him and said, "You let me see you with her, and I'll kill you." I turned around and left. I'm going to find roses. Before arriving at Xiahui Hotel, my fist was swollen like a boxing glove, blue and purple. When I arrived at the hotel lobby, I called and went upstairs to find her. Because I was too excited, I was in a knot. She came down to meet me in the lobby five minutes later. Spring is coming. She was wearing extremely thin silk clothes, and she looked like a fairy. "Epicenter!" She glanced at me and sat down. I looked at her sadly. "You fought." I asked, "Do you trust me or him?" "You have something to say, why do you keep fighting?" I turned the Wuweijia upside down in my heart. "Old fights? I know that in your life, countless men have broken their heads because of you, but just now, I didn't fight Zhuang Guodong for myself." "For your father?" "yes." She is silent. "Go back to Hong Kong, Rose." She said to me, "I'll add a coat and find a nice place to talk with you." I waited for her to put on a white thin woolen coat, and we went for a walk to a nearby park together. We sit down on the bench. Couples walking and kissing in the park, elderly parents-in-law feeding white pigeons with overnight bread, the atmosphere is warm and peaceful. She said carefully: "He is my first lover." "That was nearly twenty years ago," I said. "Because of the trauma I suffered from him, I married someone I didn't love for ten years..." Rose's voice became lower and lower. "But you are divorced, you are my father's wife now, you have to be loyal to him! You don't want to tell me that you married him just to find a home?" She kept silent, staring at the artificial lake in the distance. I growled: "Don't you love Luo Deqing?" "I love." "Then go back to Hong Kong with him." "I'll think about it." "What are you thinking?" "Epicenter, please don't yell at me," she felt guilty, "Epicenter—" "How many people's hearts have you hurt in your life?" My eyes were red and my nose was sore. "Yellow Meigui, you don't understand love at all. You are like a butterfly. You spend your whole life in and out of colorful flowers, but butterflies are all color-blind." , don’t know how to appreciate flowers at all. Just like you, you have received all the love from everyone, but you don’t appreciate it.” "No." She looked at me stubbornly, with tears in her eyes, as bright as two gemstones, but she did not shed tears, "No, everyone loves me, and I am grateful." I stared at her in disbelief. "Epicenter," she said quietly, "even if you love me, I'm grateful." I was stunned, as if someone had poured a basin of cold water on the top of my head, and my heart felt cold. She already knew. How could I underestimate her. "Epicenter, I'm not that kind of person, I attach great importance to feelings, I..." "I know, I deliberately insulted you out of anger, I know you, you live in this world, but for your feelings." I was dejected. "I have loved many times, but each time with all my heart, I love your father too." Rose said, "Don't make false accusations against me." "Sorry." I said. "Zhuang Guodong and I...I want to take a good look at him, I have loved him for so many years..." "Such an illusion, you were both young at the time, and you have only known each other for a short period of time, and what you can't get is always the best." "I just want to know if this is the truth. He has been in my heart for more than ten years. Sometimes the more blurred the impression, the more beautiful it is." "If you find out that the one you love is indeed Zhuang Guodong, are you going to sacrifice my father?" Her beautiful eyes looked into the distance, "I believe in resignation." "You believe irresponsible." I got angry. "Epicenter," she said with a pale face, "I know you don't forgive me." "I love my father," I said, "I can't bear to see him sad," I added, "I love Zhuang Guodong too, and I don't want to see his heart broken again." I looked up, "And myself, All of us owe you a lot, and feel sad for you, Rose Rose, what else can I say?" She lowered her eyes and shed a stream of tears. I said: "Selective love is not love, Rose, admit it, admit that you don't love Lord Lord King, you admire him, respect him and admire him, but you don't love him." I was aggressive. She sobbed: "If Jiaming is still here..." She stood up "Huo" and wanted to walk back to the hotel.I hurriedly grabbed her gently. "Please," I said, "stay away from Zhuang Guodong, for his own good, and for your own good." She pressed her lips together tightly. "The past is the past," I said, "Have you read Fitzgerald's "Biography of the Great King"?" I said: "The two of you are powerless to turn back the tide of time. I know about you. You met on a summer day. On a hot summer night, you fell in love for love under the smoky wind. You are only seventeen or eighteen years old. Every flower can cause infinite joy. When he left you, you thought the earth stopped turning... But Rose, you are grown up now, Rose, listen to me, you must help yourself from this curse. Get out." She closed her eyes, another stream of tears. I had no choice but to hand over the handkerchief, and couldn't bear to continue talking. It took only ten minutes to send her to the hotel, and I could see that she was struggling repeatedly with conflicts in her heart. I reached out and grabbed her shoulders, and she gave me a grateful look. I said softly: "Let me help you and move to the eldest sister's house." She nodded weakly. I tidied her up a bit, and took her to the eldest sister's house. When the eldest sister saw Rose, she was very comforted, and hurriedly told her father that everyone treated Rose with love and patience. I'm not a villain. When Zhuang Guodong came to see me, I told him frankly that Rose was under my guardianship and I didn't plan to see him again. The corner of Lao Zhuang's mouth was punched by me, and he was still bruised. He stared at me and remained silent for a long time. "I'm in the same bad mood as you, Lao Zhuang, let's not say anything, my chest seems to be stuffed with gravel, I can't eat every day, my eyes are red at night, like a fire is burning, but when I close my eyelids, I fall asleep again. No, it was dawn again in a blink of an eye, and it was another day. My mouth was bitter and sour, and my brain was swollen. Except for the word "rose", there was no one else in my heart, and other things—think about it, Lao Zhuang. How did it happen? How did I suffer? I'm not alive at all." Lao Zhuang didn't make a sound. "Of course I know that you are having a hard time. You have persuaded me: please control yourself." Lao Zhuang turned his back. "You have almost succeeded. Don't you want to get married and have children? There is no limit to the sea of ​​suffering, and you will be right when you turn back." "I'll turn around, what about you?" He still had his back on me. "Me?" I thought for a while, and said slowly, "I'm going to be a monk." I felt that my tone was solemn and sad, and it didn't look like I was joking. "Your father has only one son, you want to become a monk?" "You can't have both, fish and bear's paw." "You can persuade me, why not persuade yourself?" He asked. "If things don't happen to you, you don't know." "Epicenter," his voice was very gentle, "I and you, I and you have the same fate." "You are a fatalist, Lao Zhuang, I understand now." "I still want to fight for her. No matter what, I want to fight for her. You and your father, even with an army, can't stop me." He turned away. I guard the rose tightly. Zhuang Guodong is really crazy, his behavior is no different from that of a teenager who is in love, and he started to pursue Rose again.He quit his business and wandered outside our house day and night, knocking on doors. The snow melted, and all kinds of flowers bloomed in the garden. Zhuang Guodong smiled handsomely, haggardly, without complaint, and asked him to come into the house to see the roses again and again. His eyes were burning with love, and he begged humbly. . The eldest sister's heart has long been melted into a pile for him. If he was after the eldest sister, the eldest sister would have betrayed her husband and abandoned her son, packed her bags and eloped with him. She enlightened him, and he listened patiently, and the last sentence was always and forever: "Let me see the rose." He tortured her back then, and he will repay this debt without waiting for the next life. Rose locked herself in the room and did not come out to eat. She is still breathtakingly beautiful, with pure ivory white skin, dark eyes, mature charm, and the fragrance of honey exuding from her whole body.Beautiful rose, we are all like an arrow, waiting for her to make the final choice. After this matter is over, I will leave far away, farewell to this place forever. One night, I heard a knocking sound on the glass window. At first I thought it was the sound of wind and rain, and then I thought that I would wake up tomorrow morning to watch the falling red, but when I looked up, I saw a bright moon. The sound is made by pebbles hitting the glass. I quickly jumped up from the bed, I understand what this is, this is the sign of calling the children out to play when we were in middle school.At that time, everyone was still living in an old house, the highest of which was no more than three floors.The stones knocked on the glass windows, neither waking others, but loud. I gently opened the curtains and saw Lao Zhuang standing under the window, it was indeed him. He raised his head, his handsome face was full of fiery expression, his eyes were shining brightly, the suit on his body had probably not been changed for a month, it was very wrinkled.But it has no effect on Lao Zhuang's tall and straight figure, he is still a handsome man who is loved by everyone. Of course he didn't throw stones at my window, what he wanted were roses. I pushed open the window, and the voice of the rose sounded next door to me. "Go away." Her voice was full of conflict and emotion. If it were me, I wouldn't walk away when I heard her voice. Sure enough, Zhuang Guodong asked, "Why are you running away from me?" Rose still said, "Go away." "I'm not going away," he said, "I managed to get in through the wall." Tomorrow I will raise two Dubmans and kill them. Rose still said, "Go away, I'm going to close the window." I couldn't bear it any longer, so I pushed open the window and shouted loudly, "Zhuang Guodong, I warn you, if you don't leave within 30 seconds, I will call the police." Rose was startled by me, she came and knocked on my door. I picked up the slippers on the ground and threw them at him, but he moved away without being angry, "Rose." I yelled: "Fuck you!" I picked up the crystal vase by the bed and threw it with water and flowers on his head. I almost wanted to kill him. The bottle fell on the cobblestone path, shattered into pieces, and sparkled in the moonlight. "Rose," Lao Zhuang still called her by her name. Rose opened the door and came in and took my arm. Her hand seemed to have a thousand pounds of strength. I couldn't bear to throw her away. "Too much deception!" I said angrily. "Let him go, don't argue with him." Rose begged me. I looked at her miserably, as long as she spoke, how could I refuse? She leaned on the window and said to Zhuang Guodong, "Let's go." Zhuang Guodong said, "You know I'm leaving, but I'll be back tomorrow." I called: "You should die." He replied to me: "I am dead, but this heart may not die." I said to Rose, "Tell him to stop being Romeo here, and tell him to die." Rose cried. I immediately fell silent. she cried. Her hair was loose on the top of her head and fell loosely on her shoulders. She was wearing a small white satin clip, and she didn't wear slippers on her feet. At that moment, I forgive Zhuang Guodong, I forgive the men who love roses all over the world, because I am one of them. I looked out the window again, and he was gone. I sat down and begged Rose, "Go back to Hong Kong." I said tiredly, "We are all tired." She stretched out her hands to cover her face. I saw that she was wearing a jade bracelet that was white with only a spot of emerald green.I am very unfamiliar with this jade bracelet. This is exactly what I bought with Zhuang Guodong at the jade market not long ago. My heart is beating wildly, I'm lost, I give up. I said: "Rose, you can decide for yourself. If you plan to go with him, make up your mind quickly. If you want to go back to Hong Kong, Lord Luo Qing will always be waiting for you. Please hurry up. There are not only three people suffering here, but four. " Rose said, "Forgive me." "You said 'forgive me', how many people have caused pain?" "Forgive me." She looked up. Under the moonlight, her face was ivory white, her big black eyes were mysterious and beautiful. I told her calmly, "A woman like you should be tied to a pyre and burned alive." She was startled when she heard this, and hurried out the door. I couldn't sleep, so I put a fur coat on top of my pajamas and drove the sports car out, and I didn't know where to go. I went to a pub, sat down, ordered whiskey on the rocks, and drank it. I didn't know how much I drank, but the bartender rang the bell to indicate that the tavern was closing. I stood up staggeringly, only to see a Chinese girl come over and pat me on the shoulder. I looked at her, "You look familiar, what's your name?" "You forgot me? I'm Zhuang Guodong's ex-girlfriend." "Ah, yes," I said drunkenly, "I have long admired you." "My name is Xiaoman." "Is your surname Lu?" I smirked, "My surname is not Xu." "My surname is Xue." She frowned. "Ah, there is so much snow in a good year, pearls are like earth and gold is like iron." "What did you say?" She frowned and asked, "Are you drunk?" "Yes, I'm drunk." I leaned against the wall, "How about you?" She smiled wryly. I looked at her drunkenly, she was still so fashionable, with coral lipstick and green eyelids, I sighed and said, "Zhuang Guodong doesn't want you anymore?" She shrugged, "Yes." It wasn't particularly sad either. "Aren't you sad?" I asked her. "What can I do?" she said. "It's no use crying to death." I am so envious, "You have obtained the Vajra Indestructible Body, you are so rare, you are not afraid of anything?" "You should be less sarcastic," she said. I asked her in a daze: "It's also a lovelorn, why do some people have restless sleep and food?" "Who? Will sleep and eat because of love?" She asked in surprise. "Forget it, since you have practiced invulnerability, you don't have to pay attention to us poor people." "Sir," said the bartender, "we're closed." I said to Xue Xiaoman: "Let's go." "Where are you going?" she asked. "I don't know where I came from and where I'm going." "Where are you from?" she asked again. "Come home." "Then go home." I nodded and walked out of the tavern with her, she supported me. "Hey," she asked me, "who are you drinking this for?" I laughed, and then cried after laughing, "I am for roses, I am for roses." She asked, "Who is Rose?" I sang: "Butterfly died for picking flowers, Liang Shanbo died for Zhu Yingtai." I found the car. "Your situation is not suitable for driving." She supported me. "It's okay." I said, "Don't worry." I pushed her away, got in the car, and started the engine. I said, "I have a date with you, hello, where's your phone number?" She gave me a card and stuffed it in my coat pocket. I started the car and drove forward. I sang loudly and told this old Volkswagen not to let me down. I zigzagged, slowly glungrond towards home.I can't die, I told myself, Luo Zhenzhong, a man can die without making excuses, you must get home safely. The door of the house was in sight, I cheered, opened the iron gate, and drove in the door. For some reason, I couldn't stop the car and rushed towards the swimming pool. I screamed loudly: "Help, help!" I don't know if there is any water in the swimming pool, it's over, it's over, I'm over this time. I hurriedly pushed the door open, and the car fell into the pool with a bang. The water was forced into the car compartment, and I almost suffocated. "Help!" I swallowed the water, "Help." I swam desperately to the edge of the pool, terrified to death, and most of the wine sobered up. The family obviously realized that there was an accident, turned on all the spotlights, and the driver jumped into the pool to rescue me. I held onto the driver's hand tightly, and he cried out in pain, "Third young master, it's okay, it's okay, let go, I'll pull you up right away." I was shivering with cold, overwhelmed with shock, and cramping. The little sister said: "Call the doctor, call the doctor quickly!" Rose came out with a thick blanket and rushed to cover me. I burst into tears. Seeing that I was fine, the young lady immediately yelled, "Luo Zhenzhong, you scared me out of courage, are you crazy? Drive the car into the swimming pool to take a shower, you are full of yellow soup, aren't you?" I just cry. Rose said, "Help him into the room and let him rest." The young lady stamped her feet, "I will never see such a useless man again in my life." She went back to her room. The driver and the gardener helped me to my room. I was heartbroken and refused to change into dry clothes. "You'll catch a cold," said the Rose. "Listen to me." I screamed: "Mom, Mom." In this world, only my mother loves me, and she is the only one who doesn't give up on me. In a daze, I saw my mother walking towards me, with a long face full of compassion, her light brown skin remained the same, she put her hand on my back, and said, "Epicenter, you are disobedient again." "Mom, it's not my fault, it's not my fault." I howled. The driver forcibly took off my clothes. The mother sighed, "Epicenter, I'm sorry I can't take care of you for the rest of my life. Mom really can't help herself." She was still so gentle. I weep. As soon as the doctor came, my mother slowly disappeared in front of my eyes. He gave me an injection and asked me to rest more. I had a high fever. Suddenly I saw Rose got married, and the groom was Zhuang Guodong. My father and I went to snatch Rose back, but she sniffed at me, and Lao Zhuang shook his head and sighed at me, with a sneer on the corner of his mouth. Then I came to a fairyland with an archway, the clouds and mist were thick, and I called Rose loudly. Rose came out, but my father stood in front of her, and my father looked at me: "Epicenter, do you want to die?" She was furious, and raised her golden sword to kill me. I yelled: "Daddy, Daddy, I dare not! I was born as a member of the Luo family and died as a ghost of the Luo family." My favorite is my father. When I woke up from the nightmare, it was already three days later. When the young lady saw me wake up, she breathed a sigh of relief, and said in a pissed tone: "Bah! It's only 102 degrees, and I have dream demons, shouting and screaming, making people sleepless, and serving you in shifts." I smile weakly. "What dreams do you have?" the young lady asked. I said, "Father cut me with a sword," I was still terrified. "Tell you not to go to Chinatown to watch the midnight show of martial arts movies!" She gave me a white look. Siblings born to the same father and the same mother, my two sisters seem to have lost some parts and grown a few tendons. Their thinking is much simpler, and their lives are full and happy.In their eyes, I was nothing more than a troublemaker, not worthy of sympathy. I don't turn my face away. "My sister is here too," she said. I am silent. "Have you had bad luck these days? I'd rather you return to the carefree way you were before, and have a great time." The elder sister opened the door and came in and asked her, "What is in your hand?" "Ginseng soup." The young lady said. "I told you that this kind of thing is witchcraft. A young man will go bad if he drinks it. Good western medicine is prescribed by a doctor. If he takes it together, his illness will not be cured." "What do you know?" Two women quarreled before I collapsed. "Where's the rose?" I asked. "She stayed by your bed last night, and now she's gone to bed," said the elder sister. I don't ring. "Drinking this bowl of ginseng soup gives me some strength," said the young lady. The eldest sister was furious, "He's just your younger brother, why do you need such strength?" The young lady's face was flushed, "You shrew's cheap mouth, you don't make any progress, and you keep talking nonsense." She grabbed the elder sister's arm. The two wrestled and walked out of my room. Any man with three wives and four concubines must be an old birthday star looking for arsenic to eat, and he is impatient to live. After they left, I turned the bowl of ginseng soup back and forth. What should I do?I wondered. "Epicenter." I looked up and saw Rose standing at the head of my bed. I said lightly, "I'm sorry to excuse you because of my illness." "Your Volkswagen has been reimbursed." I was shocked: "Oh!" "Have you been driving for a long time? There must be feelings," she said. Oh, that Volkswagen, I feel like a knife is piercing my heart, it has been with me for seven or eight years. Only Rose understands my heart, and the two sisters wish that the broken car would end like this. But I never want a new sports car. Rose said, "That day was actually very dangerous." I said, "Yes, I know, it's easy to drown." She is silent. "Are you still not going back to Hong Kong?" She didn't make a sound, her face was already thinner. I sighed, "I've washed my hands and ignored this matter," I said, "Think it out for yourself, I'm moving out." "Where are you going?" she asked anxiously. "I ignore you, and you ignore me." I said. "I'm afraid your sisters won't either." "Hmph, what's the use of their refusal," I said, "I'm too lazy to worry about you day and night—what does it matter to me to wrinkle a pool of spring water?" Rose looked up and looked at me with a half-smile. "Yes, I know, you never asked me to worry about it, I'm a dog and a mouse." "You are very good at using idioms." She smiled. My heart is broken, she is still as if nothing happened, vicious woman. She said, "Here's a card you took out of the pocket of your wet clothes." Putting it down, she walked out. I looked at the card: Xue Xiaoman, Lao Zhuang's old love. That is a strong girl, she will never know what is melancholy, old love is like a dream, it is her happiness. I put down the card and went to Lao Zhuang. I was still frail, looking like a third-stage lung disease patient on a road bike, in summer and wearing a heavy jacket. I went to Lao Zhuang's apartment to ring the bell. He came to open the door, dressed in white and white trousers, in good spirits. He was very surprised, "You, the epicenter?" I said dejectedly, "Old Zhuang, I have no reason to hate you. You knew her seventeen years earlier than me." "Ah, epicentre, I'm so happy that your mind finally works." He welcomed me inside. I lay on his sofa. "Coffee!" I said. "Are you feeling better?" I was listless, "No." "What are you going to do?" "Become a monk." "Don't be kidding, there are more things to do in cassock," he handed me the coffee. "What about you and Rose?" "I don't see her at all." "Huh?" I was surprised. "She is very cautious, she only promises me, she will think about it. And brother, wait a minute, this is not the result of your interference, she will do it without you." Lao Zhuang said. I get it, all the while, I was just playing the role of a clown. In an instant, I realized everything, as if a basin of cold water had been poured on the top of my head, from top to heel, it was unspeakably miserable. I calmed down instead. "Are you going to marry her?" I asked. "If she agrees to marry me, then of course." He answered quickly. I nod. "Epicenter, why did you make a 180-degree change?" "I figured it out." "No, there must be other reasons." I smiled and changed the subject: "I met Xiaoman." "Who?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Xiaoman," I said angrily, "forgot?" "Oh, her." He suddenly realized. "Yes." I asked, "You don't object to my dating her, do you?" "Of course I don't object, but why her?" Zhuang Guodong was puzzled, "There are many women like her, you can start from scratch." "I like her hard-hearted heart: when you break up in love, you break up in love, and get up to be a human again the next day, how wonderful." I couldn't help but envy her. Lao Zhuang smiled wryly, "Yes, this is indeed her advantage, she has been vaccinated against emotions." "I don't want people to live and die for me." Zhuang Xiao said, "You really know how to dream, someone will die for you? Are you so blessed?" Of course not. "What about you?" I asked, "What are you going to do?" "I wait for the roses to fade," he said. "How much hope do you have?" "I don't know, I'm optimistic." I asked, "Why do we wait for the roses to fade?" He was very surprised, "I don't know, I am her only minister, I never want to betray her, serving her is my only pleasure." "Damn it, it's disgusting and nasty." I scolded. "You, you don't even have the right to be punished by her." Zhuang smiled. This is also true. "I don't care anymore," I said. "Not caring is one thing, can you forget her?" Lao Zhuang shot another flying arrow. "Come out with me for a walk." I said. "I'll wait for her call." He said happily. "She's looking for you, and she'll always be looking for you," I said. "Haha, I don't listen to your nonsense," he shook his head. I couldn't convince him, so I had no choice but to call Xue Xiaoman in front of him, and I got a date easily. This girl is generous and won't make a man suffer. Lao Zhuang stared at me, "You were not so casual in the past. You used to guard yourself like a jade, and you were not afraid of loneliness." I smiled: "That was a long time ago, now that I have lost my body, it doesn't matter." Lao Zhuang suddenly became angry, "What's so funny about this? Why do you always have an idiot smile on the corner of your mouth?" "Don't let me laugh?" I was still laughing. "It's not my fault that you became like this." He panted. "I didn't say you harmed me, we are still good friends." I knew too well that even without Zhuang Guodong, Rose would not have chosen me among thousands of people. "Why do you feel hopeless?" He shook my arm. "Shouldn't I lose all hope?" I asked. "Another name added to the casualty list of the War of the Roses," he murmured. I laughed dryly, patted my butt and left. When the appointed time came, Xiaoman was waiting for me at the door of a tavern in the West District. She was very well dressed, little bright red knit coat, narrow jeans, flat shoes, and I gave a gentle whistle. I said, "Where do you like to go?" She said: "It's the end of the month, and I'm bankrupt. If you have money, sir, treat me to a good meal." "no problem." We chose a small Italian restaurant with a casual atmosphere but excellent food.Xiaoman seemed to be really hungry, so she began to munch. I asked her, "What the hell do you do?" "West End Ken-Ken Dancer." She looked up as she ate. "Don't joke." "I'm a pharmacist." I was in awe, "Ah." She laughed, "More than 3,000 pounds a year, and you have to pay heavy taxes, what's worth 'ah'." "Why don't you go back to Hong Kong?" I asked. "What is waiting for me in Hong Kong?" she asked back. I don't know how to answer her. "Tell you," she sighed, "you dandies will never understand that a college degree is really just a beautiful decoration with no practical use. I just hope that I can find a meal ticket quickly, and marry me, which is better than I will be reduced to a foreign land forever and ever, with enough food and clothing.” I suddenly asked, "How about my meal ticket?" She was taken aback, "Don't be kidding." "Really, Xiaoman, what do you think of me?" She smiled, "Hey, we are friends, don't talk nonsense." "I was born in law, and my father is Lord Luo Qing. If you marry me, the Luo family will treat you well. With your body and appearance, you can look good. Why bother to suffer alone?" Xiaoman stared at me. "Marrying me is better than marrying Zhuang Guodong. He is a poor man. I'm not saying that people have to worship money, but we do live in a real world." "I want a cup of coffee," she said. I ordered coffee for her. "If you are not satisfied with me after marriage, you can divorce immediately." "It's like a Hollywood movie," she sneered, "why rush to get married." I said helplessly: "I can't wait any longer for the piece of meat in my belly, I have to find someone to admit it, so please bear with me." She laughed and sprayed wine, "Why did you pick me?" "Why not pick you?" I asked back. "You are of the right age, you want to get married, you are bright and cheerful, you are also educated, and you have a clean family background—why not?" "I'm full, stop messing around and let's go." Women in the 1980s still have their reserve. Poor women, I have seen countless women in my life, and only Rose is the winner. "I'll take you back." "Ah, you bought a new car." "Yes, my old car died." she smiles. She followed me into the car, and I was fluent in driving, and I nodded at her, "Look, your husband is so good, someone takes care of him, so you don't have to squeeze the car. If you marry me, you don't have to work from nine to five."洋人气，给不三不四的男人吊膀子，两餐有着落，又少不了你四季衣裳，年年有新皮裘穿，在家养儿育女，不亦乐乎？” 她不响，默默看着车窗外的风景。 “女人不外是一朵花，总归有谢落的一天，我看你也挺得差不多了，是不是？二十七八岁年纪，正是结婚的年龄，嫁了我，跟我回香港，包你在亲友间吐气扬眉。” “我有什么不好？我会爱护你照顾你，咱们都是成年人，婚姻不必有太多的幻想，咱们到巴黎度蜜月，以后一切都是新的开始——你想一想。” 小曼用手掩住了脸，过了一会儿，我看到她的眼泪自指缝间流出。 我温和地说：“你到家了，不请我进内喝杯茶吗？”我递了手帕给她。 她静静抹干眼泪，“我想早点睡。” 我说：“小曼，明天我来接你上班，八点半？” 她想一想，“八点正。” I nod. 她进屋去了。 当夜我回到小姐姐那里，找她商量大事。 她问我：“什么事呢？” “你保险箱里有什么像样点的钻戒？”我问她。 “你要钻戒干什么？”她愕然。 我指着自己的鼻子说：“戴在这里，流行着呢。” 小姐姐气道：“你倒是恢复得快，一下子没事了，调皮过以前。” “小姐姐，生命总得继续下去。”我摊开手。 “你要戒指干嘛？还没回答我。” “送给我女朋友。” “啊！”她先是一怔，然后明白过来，非常洋派兼戏剧化地拥抱我，把我挟得透不过气。身子上那阵狄奥小姐的香味更是刺鼻而来，我忍受不住，猛地咳嗽起来。 “死相。”她骂我。 “我要订婚了。”我说。 "With whom?" “一个女人。” “很好，我情愿忍受你这种腔调，胜过你先一阵子的神不守舍。” “戒指呢？”我说。 “我手上这只好不好？”她伸出右手。 我看一看，“不要这种破铜烂铁。告诉你，别小气，将来还不是由罗德庆爵士归还于你。” “我抽屉里倒是刚镶好一只方钻……”她迟疑。 小姐姐终于把那只戒指交予我。 我还觉得满意，就放在口袋，她心疼，叫我收好些，又嘟哝着说不知谁家女儿好福气，一下子就混得上了青云等等。 我说：“小姐姐，天下的福气都叫你一人享了去不成。” 我回到房间，也不想什么，心中其实没有深切的悲哀。我的心已死，我的心已碎，但是不知恁地，我的眼泪汩汩而下，我哭出声来，像一只受伤的猪猡，呵呵嚎叫。 我怕她们听见，用被蒙住了头。 但我知道，从此以后，我不会再哭。 正如庄国栋所说，一切都是注定的，谁是谁非，不必多说。 至少在这整件事的过程中，我搭救了薛小曼。第二天一早，闹钟把我惊醒，我摸摸口袋中的戒指盒子，摸出门口去。 小曼坐在她公寓楼下吃三文治，见了我，乍惊还喜，神情复杂。 我自门口花圃采下一枝玫瑰花交予她手中，取出指环，套在她左手无名指上。 我说：“我们在伦敦结婚，回香港请喜酒，你今天到公司辞职吧。”大功告成。 她呆呆地看着我。 过了很久她说：“我以前是庄国栋的女朋友。” 我拍拍小曼肩膀：“如果你不是老庄的女友，也是其他人的女友，过去的事，谁关心呢？小曼，今天起，你是我的未婚妻。” 我接她上车，送她到公司，把车匙交在她手中，“你自己开车回家，当心点。” She nodded. “别担心，你会爱上我的。”我挤挤眼。 她拉住我的手，想说话又说不出口。 我安慰她：“我早在夏惠吃饭那夜，就看中了你，当时苦无机会。小曼，现在真是皆大欢喜。” 我向她招招手，踏上计程车。 其实不过因为她是最近最方便的一个，然则有什么分别呢？ 一切都是注定的。 我乘车到市区的大时装店，叫女店员取出十号的衣裳，一挑就一大堆，都送给小曼。 我有大量的爱，我要将我的爱送予乐于接受的女人。我不想再在玫瑰身上锦上添花。 我签出了支票，走出店铺。这倒是一个晴朗的好日子，罕见的阳光照在我身上，我将双手插在口袋里，踯躅在街头。 我失去的只是一颗心，旁人不会觉察到。我解嘲地想，总比失去一只眼睛或一管鼻子好得多。 一个乞丐走来问我要钱，“先生，一杯咖啡。” 我说：“拿去买一瓶威士忌。”给他一张大额纸币。 他震惊地站在那里。 我不再守住自己。 回到家里，我大嚷：“来人哪，三少爷要茶要水。” 大姐苍白着脸出来，“震中！”她递过来一张电报。 我接过，上面写着：罗爵士病重，请即返。署名的是他的家庭医生。 “什么病？”我失声怪叫。 “我已订了六张飞机票，”大姐说，“马上回去。” “六张？哪来六个人？” 小姐姐抢着说：“咱们两对，玫瑰与你，不是六个？” 我冷笑，“我还以为回去分家产呢，原来是趁墟，敢情好，原来孝顺儿孙古来多！” 小姐姐气结：“罗震中。” “我与我未婚妻一起走，”我气愤地说，“我可不管你们。” 我拨电话给小曼，她已经回到公寓。 我命令她：“马上订两张机票回香港，愈快愈好，我父亲病重，我们回去看他。” 她一连串的“是。” 娶妻总得娶大学生，办事能力都高一些。 我放下电话，走向偏厅，玫瑰坐在窗前。 我淡淡地说：“你如了愿了，是不是？” 玫瑰抬起头来，嘴角倔强，她什么都不说，眼神闪过一丝轻蔑。 她看不起我，是因为我乘人之危，说话叫她难受。 我长叹一声，“你打算恁地？” 她仍然一语不发，抱住手在窗前，背着我。我说：“玫瑰——” 她忽然发火了，“你走开好不好？”她急促地道。 我退后一步。 她的长发披在肩上，大眼睛分外的乌黑闪亮，嘴唇特别的薄，脸色罩满阴霾，威仪有加，她沉着声音说：“走开。” 我顿时觉得自己像一只苍蝇，我转头便走出偏厅。 我有什么资格骚扰了她这许久的日子？一切是她与罗德庆之间的事，她是他妻子。 我枉作了小人。 我驾车去接小曼。 时装公司已把我买的衣物送到她处，堆满了桌子，她将脸埋在七彩缤纷的绫纙%绸缎之中，并不出声。 “小曼，”我叫她。 她跳起来，“票子已经订好了，今夜起飞了。” “我们一起回去吧。”我说。 “你爸爸不会有事吧？” “应该无事吧，五十多岁，正当盛年。他身体一向很好，但也很难说，许多朋友，才三十岁左右，洗一个澡就死在浴缸里，无名肿毒，查也没得查。” “震中。”她叫我一声。 我握住了她的手。 "Thank you," she said. “什么话。”我很温和。 小曼的脸很秀丽，她实是一个出色的女子，我们婚姻的客观条件是这样好，简直是培养感情的最佳温床，包管能够相敬相爱，白头偕老的。 我环顾她简单的小公寓说：“这地方太潮湿，我们还有四五个小时，你收拾一下，我替你找一间较好的公寓。” “我在这里住了四五年了。” “难怪你身体那么差。”我笑，“这简直是蜗居。” “反正回香港，也不必搬了吧？”她试探着，语气出奇的温婉。 一个女人是一个女人，给她们机会，她们就回复本来面貌。我有种感觉，小曼将放弃她那女强人本色，回到厨房厅堂去做一个好妻子。 我们会很幸福。 为什么我每说完一句话，都仿佛听见回音，在我脑中响起，如此空洞虚无？ 我不敢再想下去。 小曼问我：“你喝什么？我尚未知道你习惯喝什么？” “别担心，盲婚有盲婚的好处，慢慢发现对方的优劣，兴致盈盈。”我笑。 “我始终觉得这么快订婚是不对的。”她别转脸。 “别再犹豫。”我叹气，“现在我需要你。” “你可担心你父亲吗？” “心急如焚。” “你控制得很好，”小曼说。 “我在别的事上，一向控制得很好。” 电话铃响起来，小曼将铃声拨得很低，只发出一阵沙哑的呜呜声，像一个人在哭。 她取起话筒，听了三分钟，尴尬地将话筒交予我，“是庄国栋找你。” “跟他说，他们的事与我无关。”我淡然说。小曼很服从，“他说你们的事与他无关。”她放下电话。 我又说：“给我一杯威士忌加冰。” 小曼进厨房去。