Chapter 5 the fifth part

41 Qi Ming sat on the bed against the wall. There was no light on. Eyes adjust to the dim light in the dark.Gradually distinguish the outlines of various objects. The fist was clenched too tightly, and finally the strength disappeared completely, and he let go. Qi Ming threw his head back forcefully and slammed it against the wall. Pain gone. pain.Is it a pain or a pain?Is there a difference? Distressed and heartbroken.Is there a difference? Yi Yao stood in the dark with his head down, and when he raised his head again, the slap came down, and countless pictures exploded in his mind like lightning.heartache?

And the last sunshine of the afternoon.Slant through the classroom.In the aftermath of the setting sun, Yi Yao lowered his head, reading the numbers on the tape measure, which were projected in the sight of the young man outside the window. Is it distressing? www.lee-home.cn 42 Winter never seems to pass. He still let out a sigh of relief when he spoke.There is always a long queue at the end of the corridor where the hot water is fetched.There are always so many people who ask for leave from physical education. There is always such a pale light in the sky, and the clouds are frozen, sticking to the distant sky.

The voice on the radio is still like thick phlegm, sticky and nauseating. It's such a time.Inlaid on the brocade of the most beautiful years in these tens of feet. Countless boys and girls in new school uniforms flocked to the playground.Young lives seem to be displayed in a row, exposed to the cold sunlight. Qi Ming looked at Yi Yao who was running ahead of him.The trousers looked unexplainably baggy.The waist circumference was significantly larger by two circles.She was fastened sloppily with a leather belt.The trousers were too long, and one part was stepped on by shoes, and a lot of dust stuck to it.

Qi Ming rubbed his eyes.Breath was caught in the throat. Yi Yao in front suddenly turned around. He fixedly looked at himself. Yi Yao, who was wearing baggy trousers, turned his head to look at Qi Ming under the harsh winter sun. Seeing Qi Ming's red eyes, Yi Yao smiled slowly.Her smile seemed to say, "Hey, it's really okay." Will the flowers that bloom in winter wither very quickly? Now, it doesn't really matter. 43 Yi Yao lay on the bed.Covered with two thick quilts. The windows were not closed tightly.Blown around by the wind.I didn't even bother to get up and turn it off.Anyway, no matter how cold the wind is, it can't blow into the quilt.

In the darkness, limbs and bones seemed to be soaked in scalding bath water.Those emotions called sadness, like swarms of ants, came from a distant place and slowly climbed up my body. Step by step, he crawled towards the deepest beating heart. Until the leader of the group climbed to the top of the heart, then pointed the flag towards the soft beating place under the feet, and thrust it hard—— Ha, take over. 45 The computer room in the school is well heated. There was a thick layer of moisture on the windows. Yi Yao typed in the word "abortion" on Baidu, and clicked on search.

Two seconds later, 2,140,000 related web pages came out.It is nothing more than sanctimonious social news, or project advertisements for hospitals.Yi Yao one by one Looking at the past, I feel sick to my stomach. These are not what Yi Yao wants. Yi Yao typed in the words "private clinic" once, put the mouse on "search in the results", hesitated for a long time, and then clicked. 46 Those plots that I have watched countless times in TV dramas are being staged on my body one by one. For example, in the middle of class, I would suddenly rush out of the classroom and start vomiting.

For example, I started to like plums from the school canteen.Will eat one by one when no one is looking. And there are more things that TV series can't teach themselves. Just like when Yi Yao woke up this morning and stood in front of the mirror, his skin became better than before. And I once heard a woman in the alley say, "If you are pregnant with a daughter, your skin will be much better."Such topics used to be as unreal as dust floating hundreds of millions of light-years away, but now, they covered their faces like spider threads on the door. My young and smooth face in the mirror.Like a piece of china.

But when the porcelain was broken, no matter how smooth it was, there were only sharp and broken pieces left. Thinking this way, Yi Yao stared at himself in the mirror. Lin Huafeng also got up.Walking to the table, it was the breakfast that Yi Yao had made in the morning. And the previous guilt towards his mother was wiped away day by day when there was no difference from before.the person in front of me, It is still what I said when I was 15 years old, "I hate her very much, but sometimes I love her very much". "Who are you trying to seduce after taking photos for so long? You don't look so unlucky when you take photos again. Just like your father!"

"My dad is unlucky enough." Yi Yao turned around, "Otherwise, how would I have met you?" A slipper was thrown at him bitterly, and Yi Yao tilted his head to avoid it. She sneered, then picked up her schoolbag and went to class. Lin Huafeng's voice came from behind, "If you want to fall again, you will fall on the road and fall under the wheels of the car. Don't fucking fall in the alley. Who are you going to show you?!". Yi Yao turned around and closed the door, saying flatly. "When I fell, no one saw it anyway, but when you hit me, I didn't know who you wanted to hit me."

The door was closed by Yi Yao calmly. Lin Fenghua was left trembling in front of the table.Several veins popped out of the hand holding the bowl due to the force. The sunlight outside the window seemed to be less pale, with a slightly warmer tone.Blur the sky. There seemed to be the sound of sirens in the distance. 47 The last class in the afternoon is geography. A huge world map on the blackboard. The geography teacher, dressed as colorfully as a world map, stood on the podium, swishing the pointer in the air. Yi Yao even felt as if he was being slapped directly on the faces of the students in the first row.

But today she doesn't care about that. In the right pocket is the four hundred yuan that my father gave me last time.I pinched it in my hand, because it was too hard, and it was already a little weak from sweat. And in the pocket on the left hand side is a piece of paper on which he copied the address from the computer. When school was over, he saw Qi Ming waiting for him at the school gate. Yi Yao told him that he had something to do and sent him back first. Qi Ming didn't say anything. He stood and looked at her for a while, then pushed the cart away.Standing in the crowd, the back is particularly conspicuous. The white down jacket is blown up by the wind, like a condensed light. Yi Yao watched Qi Ming walk away, and then rode in the opposite direction from going home. It is also in an alley. Yi Yao spread out the paper in his hand, and slowly searched for it according to the address on it. Surrounded by various shops, selling raw fried food, haircuts, groceries, and bicycle repairs, all kinds of market atmospheres are intertwined, as if weaving into a net, and the sweet and worldly smell floats in the air. There were many dirty stray cats on the side of the road, looking at Yi Yao with strange eyes.Occasionally, one or two suddenly rushed out from the cracks in the wall by the side of the road, stood in the middle of the road, and stared at Yi Yao steadfastly. Finally, I saw the signboard of "Private Gynecology Clinic", with a white background, black characters, and old-fashioned fonts. Because it was hanging outside, most of the colors had been washed away by the rain and sunlight, leaving a gray look, indifferently On the wall outside the window.The messy sycamore branches and intertwined antennas around it almost swallowed up the sign. It's already a mess.Going further is the main road. In fact, it should come from the other side of the road.In vain through the whole alley. Forced to go up the stairs, the more you go up, the less you can see the light.When I reached the second floor, there was only a small yellow light bulb hanging on the wall, and the stairs gave off a gloomy atmosphere as if they had been illuminated for a long time. The thought of "Let's go back" ran around in my mind, and every time I was forced back by my mother's cold and vicious eyes.In fact, Qi Ming, who was standing silently behind Li Wanxin that day, was also conspiring with his mother's gaze.Every time I think about it, I feel my heart pounding suddenly. It's been a few days since I spoke to him. The white down jacket was replaced by a black wool coat.Wrapped in a handsome and straight school uniform. Yi Yao looked down at his baggy trousers. The waistband of the trousers ran out of the belt and was stuck out like a pocket.The deputy squad leader and Tang Xiaomi were proud of being together, and they seemed to be afraid that Yi Yao would find out, but they also feared that Yi Yao would not find out. Their laughter was like glue poured on themselves, sticky and painful. Yi Yao shook his head, not thinking about it. Looking up, the light seemed to be brighter, and a half-aged woman with a big curl was sitting in the corridor.There is a table in front of you.There were some yellowed medical record cards, registration slips and other things scattered on the table. "Excuse me," Yi Yao's voice was so low that only he could hear it, "Look...the gynecologist...is the doctor there?" The curly woman raised her head and glanced up and down at her many times.He said without expression, "We are just a doctor." A piece of paper was thrown and dropped on the table in front of Yi Yao, "Fill it out, and then go directly to the innermost room." 48 There seems to be something covering the ceiling.can not see clearly.The window was closed, but the curtains were not drawn, and the light from outside the window shone in, projecting coldly onto the surrounding white sheets and hanging curtains. In the ear is the sound of metal objects hitting from the side.Yi Yao thought of the pliers, scalpels, and even tweezers for crushing meat in TV dramas.I don't know if the truth is exaggerated like this.Although the doctor also said to himself that the fetus has not yet formed, it is almost impossible to use tweezers to clamp it. When lying down on the operating table, Yi Yao smelled a musty smell.The white sheets emanate a damp, icy sensation from beneath the body. "Are you going to run away?" Turning his head to the side, he saw that the doctor was sucking a tube of medicine into the needle barrel.I don't know what it is.It's not an anesthetic anyway.If anesthesia is used, another two hundred yuan will be added.I don't have that much money. In the words of the doctor, "just bear with it and get over it." "Take off your pants, what are you waiting for?"The doctor came over with a tray, Yi Yao raised his head slightly, and saw a little white light reflected from the stainless steel scissors and tweezers in the tray. Yi Yao felt a certain nerve in his body suddenly tense. The doctor turned his head and said to the nurse, help her take off her pants. 49 Yi Yao ran down almost like crazy, with his schoolbag in his hand, bumping back and forth on the handrail of the stairs. Behind him was the voice of the nurse chasing after him, and the only clear sentence was "We won't refund your money if you run away like this!" It was almost impossible to see anything in the dimly lit staircase.Yi Yao jumped down instinctively, wishing she would fall and have a miscarriage just like in a white TV series. When rushing out of the corridor, the intense sunlight suddenly shrouded the head. A tingling sensation almost like going blind.Pulling the retina, revealing various complex white shadows. Stand in the hustle and bustle.Gradually, the heartbeat gradually recovered. Tears hung long on his face.It becomes icy cold when blown by the wind. Gradually see the surrounding pattern clearly.Three-story old attic.In front of him was a crowded road.Above the head are colorful and chaotic sycamore branches, and one or two sporadic leaves that have not fallen in autumn stay between the branches, surrounded by winter. Air-dried specimens in the cold air.An old lady selling boiled corn at the entrance of the alley raised her eyes and looked at herself with half-closed eyes.There was no expression in the sunken eye sockets, no light at all, like a black hole hissing to absorb his own vitality. And none of that matters. What is important is the three girls wearing brand new school uniforms that are clearly projected on the retina. The bow on Tang Xiaomi's hair shone bright red in the surrounding gray buildings, like a red light, accompanied by the siren. Tang Xiaomi looked at Yi Yao who rushed down from the attic, with tears still hanging on her face, she was holding a heavy schoolbag in one hand, while the other hand was holding onto the belt tightly, her baggy school uniform pants were blown empty by the wind. She raised her head, looked at the sign of "Private Gynecology Clinic" intertwined with countless wires, and then looked at Yi Yao who seemed to have lost her soul in front of her, and a bright smile gradually appeared on her face. Yi Yao raised his head and looked at Tang Xiaomi. The eyes are tense, tangled and pulled like strings, from a mess to a straight line. No one looked back. Familiar scenes and rival scenes, but the roles are reversed in the script. Until the light in Yi Yao's eyes suddenly dimmed.Tang Xiaomi slightly raised the corners of her mouth. The unspoken but surely audible voice-- "I won". Tang Xiaomi turned her head, looked at and smiled with the two girls beside her, then turned and left. When she left, she didn't forget to wave to Yi Yao and said "Take care" with a complicated meaning. Tang Xiaomi turned around, and suddenly felt that the hem of her clothes was being pulled. Lowering his head and looking back, Yi Yao's hand was firmly holding onto the hem of his clothes, his pale fingers trembling from too much force. "I beg you".Yi Yao lowered his head.Tang Xiaomi could only see a small piece of pale scalp protruding from the top of her head. "What did you say?" Tang Xiaomi turned around and looked at Yi Yao with his head bowed in front of him with interest. Yi Yao didn't speak, but pulled Tang Xiaomi's clothes even harder. The folds of the clothes that were grasped by the hands extended two or three smaller lines along the material of the clothes, pointing to Tang Xiaomi's bright smiling face. Sprinklers in the streets drive past them to the tune of old songs. In the eyes of others, this scene is more like the last parting of good friends.Several young girls in the same school uniform, one of them pulled the other's clothes. Imagine that the natural dialogue should be "Don't go, I hope you stay". But--- Qi Qin's old song came out from the inferior speakers of the sprinkler, "In the days without me, you have to cherish yourself more, and in the days without me, you have to take care of yourself even more." The songs that were once popular have been put on the coat of "outdated" by the beautiful and glamorous young people on the road at this time.It can only be heard on occasions like this, or when there are adults in the KTV. And the words that are not heard are the ones that are not being repeated ---I beg you. What I didn't see was a black-haired boy pushing a car on a zebra crossing outside an intersection. His gaze from a distance enveloped the girl's body tenderly and sadly.His hands on the faucet tightened and then loosened.He stood firmly on the zebra crossing, and the traffic lights alternated back and forth.Nor did it alter his stillness. 50 He looked over from a distant place, and he called out a long and gentle dialogue from a distant place, "Hey, I've been looking at you." always there. The tenderness of infinite time. A long time in infinite tenderness.always there.