Chapter 2 the second part

Chapter nine My life is the same as before, a lot of friends, a very bright life, but I am more and more convinced of a sentence, the brighter the place, the darker the darkest shadow will be. Life suddenly entered a busy rhythm, flying to various parts of the country every weekend.My ears suddenly became accustomed to the huge roar of the plane when it took off and landed, the unpalatable meal on the plane, and daydreaming at an altitude of nine kilometers. I made a wish before, and I said that I will walk a lot of roads and see a lot of scenery in the future, and I will truly step on the places I have seen on the map.But now, I have really traveled to many places, and I have gone to all the places I have never been to before.I think I should be relieved.But why do I still feel sad?

I am in Shanghai, living a leisurely life, learning about choreography and directing, hoping that one day I can shoot works that make people cry.In my spare time, I would go to the library and look for those thick and dusty professional books in the long rows of bookshelves.See how to schedule the scene and how to arrange the lights.There are many huge glass windows in the library. Looking out, you can see flying birds that are constantly rising and falling.Sometimes when I close my eyes, I start to imagine the light gray feathers of those birds lightly covering my pupils , So I think of Little A's light gray pupils.

I think of the cherry blossom tree that has been drifting in my memory.In the bright sunshine, keep mourning the dead. Sometimes I eat watermelon in the gazebo under the dormitory, squat on the railing, and a few friends talk casually there, say some irrelevant words, and make some dispensable expressions, so I think that's how life goes. Then I suddenly remembered what Xiang Siwei said: I always remember my seventeen years old when I was eighteen, and I will remember my eighteen years when I was nineteen. I think of what Lu Xun said: When will this kind of life end. chapter Ten I always like to stand on the lawn and look up to the east, always east, east.

I want to see if the fog from Tokyo Tower has cleared. I always like to stand on the top of the building and raise my eyes to the west. I want to see if the sunflowers in my hometown are blooming. Chapter Eleven I've forgotten what it's like to ride a train and fly until I feel like throwing up. I remember when I was in high school, Xiao A and I were always on the train, wrapped in a blanket and fell asleep quietly.At night when I can't sleep, I lean against the window to look at the black and fuzzy outline of the mountains outside, the occasional dim lights scattered at the foot of the mountain, or the gray iron stop signs flying by.At dawn, I will look up at the sky, thinking whether those moving clouds will piece together a face deep in my memory, which can make me lose all language in an instant.Hastily.Sad.In the field, there are birds flapping their wings and rushing to the high sky.

The dream of youth is as clear as a lake, the innocence of the past and the persistence in life.Holding a coffee cup, you can imagine a flower blooming in your palm, and the fragrance is like the most beautiful vine.When I was learning pottery, I worked with mud all day long, and felt the mud twist and turn in my fingers. When I was learning flower arranging, I imagined my future lover with the girl at the same table. She said that her Prince Charming would fill the kitchen with small cacti, and would hold a picture book and wait quietly while making soup.I said my Snow White would plant golden sunflowers in the roof garden and water them in a white cotton dress.After I finished speaking, I laughed, because I suddenly remembered that in the past summer, I was wearing a white cotton T-shirt and beige denim pants, and the roof of my house was full of sunflowers.

But now, I can only look up at the sky covered with clouds from the top of the building.I suddenly thought of Takeshi Kaneshiro, and in "Heartbeat", he was always lying on the roof, looking at the gray, blue, white, clear and hazy sky, and then took photos, a box of photos, and then gave her and told her , This is the sky when I miss you. I stand on a high roof, the wind is coming through the sky, I stretch out my hand to block the dust in front of me, when the wind is about to leave, I always tell it, can you help me see, my hometown Are the sunflowers on the roof blooming or dead? Has anyone watered them?

"Evil and Poison in the West".Ashes of time.Xidu said, I want to go back and see if the peach blossoms in my hometown have bloomed. Those cities with plain faces, those faces that have been washed away, all fell when my plane took off. In romantic dramas, someone always says emotionally, dear, goodbye, goodbye.We always laugh at the hypocrisy. But I finally found out that the people we have said goodbye to seriously, we can never see each other again. If you choose to go east, then I will stubbornly go west.From now on, there are different situations, each of them is tossed in a different fate, and each is crawling in different scars.When the plane brought our memories to an altitude of 9,000 meters, when the train rumbled and crushed our bright youth, I was so sad, sad, and cried.

Chapter Twelve Forgive my messy words, forgive my broken time. Chapter Thirteen Those winds running fast in the subway station, those birds rising and falling in my pupils. I always have endless hallucinations. Once, Xiao A and I sat on a black boat at night.That boat is already very old, and I even think that maybe the next moment we will sink with this boat. I was sitting on the side of the boat, and Little A was standing behind me, surrounded by large stretches of undulating reeds, and I knew that there were flocks of birds that flew over the mountains and rivers sleeping in it during the day.There are boats moored around, and there are lights on the boats, and I recite "Jiang Feng Yuhuo to Mianmian" in an artificial way.Little A still touched my hair as before, and then laughed nicely and softly, I believe it will not disturb those sleeping birds.

I hallucinate that I am running in a time tunnel, I enter through this entrance, and then I will exit through that exit. I don't know what time and what scene is waiting for me at that exit. Maybe it's the south of the Yangtze River where the grass grows in March and the warbler flies, or maybe it's the desert where the gold and iron horses are. Maybe Weicheng, maybe Lichi. What we have to do may be to keep searching, or to wait quietly. Like, Fujii tree and Fujii tree.I have been searching, never knowing the ending, until the end, no one can see how the spreading palm lines are in the cruel and great hands of fate.But at the end, seeing the ending, hearing the cry, all we can do is to suddenly realize that we have loved so deeply and been loved so deeply.

We watched the railroad tracks sink below the horizon with our eyes open, and we wept in the wind, tears staining our young faces. And I have forgotten, who said that a true love is like a life and death, if I lose this life, I will not want the next life. Chapter Fourteen Those flocks of birds flying south will come back every spring, and I can stand on the roof and wait for them to fly over my head, waiting for their feathers to fall down one after another, like the gentlest poplar flowers in spring. But those who left, no matter how long I waited, they are still scattered in the end of the world, their voices and smiles are unforgettable.

I have countless friends who are obsessed with birds. me too.I like Su Tong as well.He wrote countless flocks of birds in the book, flying in the silent cemetery, flying on the perishing city. My friends and I know that there are flocks of birds flying over our heads every day, but we don’t know whether the flocks of birds that fly every day will see the irreversible changes below. The sound of wind and rain.lullaby. Chapter fifteen Recently, it seems that I can't always say one thing completely, the words are getting more and more messy, and the feeling is getting more and more broken. My words seem to be playing games with me, sometimes close to me, sometimes far away from me. I suddenly remembered how fluent my writing was when I was sixteen years old. At that time, I could write very clean words. There was no death or sex in the words, just like the rats in Haruki Murakami's works, living cleanly in a time like water.Drink milk tea from a swimming pool in summer. And suddenly I was nineteen years old, standing on the edge of the cliff where time was about to break, but I couldn't see anything. Chapter Sixteen Sentences written by XJ: We gritted our teeth together and watched what happened in the snow one after another. From then on, I tell you that I am the foreign land of your left hand and the hometown of your right hand. Chapter Seventeen Sentences written by XJ: The wind is still running along the corner. I am still riding a bicycle through the shadow of camphor in spring as deep as the sea. But time has traveled to April of 2003. I am sitting in my dormitory, feeling the precious sunshine before the rainy season in Shanghai, and typing these words in front of my newly bought computer. My keyboard is a notebook-style flat-panel keyboard, which is very pleasant to type on.But I still miss my computer in Sichuan, and I think its keyboard must have been covered with a layer of soft dust. Chapter Eighteen Ah Liang sent me a text message, saying that she bought my first book, but it was a reprint, and it was no longer the price of only 12 yuan for the simple cover when it was published for the first time.The current book has a beautiful blue cover and is priced at 16.8. In the evening we went to the movies. In the movie theater, A Liang showed me the book. I stroked the cover of the book and heard the sound of running water.I read the postscript, the preface, and the articles I wrote when I was seventeen years old. When I saw that child, I simply laughed and cried.When I closed the book, I realized that I hadn't written for a long time until I cried. Chapter Nineteen That winter was extremely cold You stand on the top of a high mountain and stand like a flag flying in my eyes Gesang is on my finger Prayer flags curled into your long hair Let's cut time together into the most extravagant fireworks bustling bride sharp neon clothes And the feathers of time stand on the top of the clouds and sing loudly darkened frontier broken streamer wiped out the prehistoric Chapter Twenty Hansey sent me a text message to tell me that the willow trees in their city had already bloomed, and little by little catkins were flying over the whole city like falling snow. He looked up at them with a smile on his face. Hansey and Qinghe Weiwei and I have a promise that when this summer finally comes, we will go to Lijiang together to see the summer The snow-capped mountains in the sky, take the bluestone road.Because this summer, Hansey is graduating, just like Wei Wei and I had a tragic escape last summer. Things that were once thought to be unforgettable will one day become unrecognizable. Time didn't teach me anything, but it taught me not to believe in a myth easily. Chapter 21 The campus of Shangda University began to be full of people again. Groups of young people rode bicycles through this resplendent university. My life has always been like this, living the most serious life with the most cynicism. I am willing to easily trust a person who appears suddenly and follow him. Whether he wants to take me to the school supermarket or to the end of the world in Murakami, I will follow him without hesitation.Because I need a god. But I have never trusted anyone. A friend I haven’t contacted for a long time said to me. She said that the most precious thing about Siwei is not being changed by anyone. I tried to change him, but now I don’t want to. When I read these words, I didn't know whether I was sad or happy inside.I was just thinking, do people like me live too stubbornly? Chapter Twenty Two There is a classic line in one of Gu Long's novels. He said, with the wind and the sword at hand, my ideal will not be too far away. That night I had a dream. In the dream, a girl I used to like was swinging on a swing. She was wearing a white skirt and barefoot. Her smile was beautiful, and she was blown to the high sky by the wind along with the sun. I stood below and looked at her and smiled.Many things passed through the dream, Shunji Iwai's and "Everything About Lily Zhou".Fujii stood on the edge of the cliff and shouted towards the openness of the mountains and forests, and Hasami Yuichi in the white shirt stood in the wheat field with his head bowed and listened to Lily Zhou's CD repeatedly. Xu Jia's, Qin Yu put his schoolbag on his chest, put his cat in the schoolbag, and walked on the street together.I have countless cello CDs, and the movements in them surround me like water.My three badminton rackets were painted off and the strings were broken, but I am still so precious.I dreamed a lot and heard a lot and saw a lot, and I laughed at being so real.Because this is my youth, this is my Yanghua, this is something I never forget but will forget one day. Everything expires, even canned pineapple. It's just that I hope that my memory can become a carving knife to carve all the happy moments. Chapter Twenty-Three I had that dream for a long time, crying and laughing all the time, and I woke up from the dream, but I couldn't find any trace of tears. I rubbed my eyes and found that this dream was very long.I was in a dream, sleeping for nineteen years.