Chapter 5 chapter Five

In August 2002, Lan Xiao is not far away from autumn/I like to ask the sky and the sea/Ask the deep night shadow in front of the gate of the season/When all the frozen thoughts start to set off/Missing keeps printing page by page/You and I meet again/ In the distant morning / beside a tree that once stood The phoenix flower will bloom again, but the story of me and Qi Ming has finally sunk to the bottom of the water. One day, mud and sand shells will cover it, algae will grow on it, and then there will be bitter oblivion. I finally got my acceptance letter from Peking University, and now I'm sitting in a bar listening to everyone congratulate me.I heard from a friend that Jie finally became the girlfriend of a boy she had liked for six years, and she wore a small and simple platinum ring on her left hand, and that boy started to grow long hair for her, because boys have long hair. Wishing, I sat in the corner and laughed quietly, remembering that Qi Ming's hair should be very long now.

Before I left, I went back to school for the last time, and I walked through every place in the school again, as if the young Qi Ming would suddenly appear in every place.The football field where he ran, the playground stand where he sat, the corridor where he waited for me after school, the place where he parked his bicycle, the canteen where he paid for Coke, the lawn where he skipped class and slept, the iron gate he took me to climb, The mailbox where he gets the letter, the rostrum where he happily accepts the scholarship, the stair railing that he uses as a slide, the naughty footprints he left on the wall, the lock he left on the desk.

I suddenly remembered the sentence I wrote before: looking down and looking up is still that shadowy person / standing upside down on the rippling water / slowly spreading ripples / a person coming and going. When I walked to the deserted playground, I saw that the left side of the white wall was full of words, more than I could write. "On January 20, 2002, I said I would call you, but I didn't. It was my fault." "In February 2002, I failed the exam and failed to meet your requirements. I owe you ten ice creams" "In March 2002, I didn't wait for you after school. I know you're upset. I'm sorry."

"In March 2002, you caught a cold. I know that many people went to see you. I didn't come. You must be angry with me, right?" "In April 2002, I suddenly found a lot of wild flowers blooming outside the school wall. I wanted to take you to see them, but I never told you, you know, I often skip classes to see those flowers. " "April 2002, don't skip lunch all the time, it will make your stomach hurt." "In May 2002, my exams got worse every time. I know you're disappointed. I'm sorry." "In June 2002, the college entrance examination was about to come. I started to learn how to go to the canteen to buy Coke by myself without pestering you anymore. I didn't dare to bother you when I saw how serious you were doing the test papers."

"July 2002, the day after tomorrow, the college entrance examination, Lan Xiao, I was very scared, do you know the feeling of reading in an empty room alone? I was so sad. My mother didn't even know that I was going to take the college entrance examination." "August 2002, Lan Xiao, will you feel disappointed when I did poorly in the exam? I called you, and your mother said that you did well in the exam, so I am relieved." "August 2002, Lan Xiao, today is the 16th night I have played outside. I haven't come home for half a month. In the eyes of others, maybe I am a naughty child who has no home to go back to."

"August 2002, I know you will go to Beijing next week, I don't know if I can see you again." My tears fell down big and big. For a moment, I seemed to see Qi Ming standing in front of the wall and holding a 2B pencil to write, with his left hand in his trousers pocket, and his right hand writing seriously. Overhead, the smile is gentle and clear. When I was packing my luggage, I carefully placed Qi Ming's paintings at the bottom of the suitcase. I stroked the carbon-silver shadows and thought of Qi Ming's paintings in the past, blurred as if thinking of a previous life.

When sorting out the books Qi Ming left for me, a photo suddenly fell out. The photo was on the balcony of my house. On the balcony was a white shirt that I washed for him. The time was September 2000, and Qi Ming was on the back. Written words: My moment of happiness.Even I didn't know when Qi Ming took this photo. I counted my nose, tightened my throat, and suddenly burst into tears.All the sadness I had suppressed for a year suddenly gushed out of my throat. I cried with all my strength, and my chest was so uncomfortable from crying.I never knew that I could cry so loudly, I called Qi Ming to the empty room while crying.

I finally left, left my school, left my city, and left my 19 years old.I left the time when I used to sit on the back of Qi Ming's bicycle.Sitting on the train, I thought sadly. I still left a message on the wall of the school, I told him that I had changed my mobile phone number, and told him that if he came to Beijing, he must find me.But now I suddenly remembered that it seemed that the wall would be torn down next semester.I seemed to hear the crashing sound of the wall collapsing. I still hope that Qi Ming will come to Beijing to find me.When I thought about it, I would be able to watch the first snow in my life with him. When I thought of Faye Wong singing "I have never had ice with you, I can see the scenery in zero-degree weather", and I laughed innocently.

On the first night on the train, I fell into a deep sleep. In my dream, I saw 13-year-old Qi Ming, with big eyes and soft hair, as beautiful as a girl.He stood alone on the platform, guessing the train. He asked me which train would go to Beijing, but I couldn't move or speak, so he squatted on the ground and cried.I wanted to go over and hug him, but I couldn't move. Qi Ming looked at me and kept crying.But I can't even speak, I'm so sad that I feel like I'm going to die.In the dream, a train passed by, rumbling, rumbling, crushing Qi Ming's face, crushing the youth I left on Qi Ming, crushing those bright summers, crushing that white face The wall crushed Qi Ming's handsome bicycle, crushed his sketches, crushed my last dream.

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