Chapter 11 The second part is looking for the street called happiness, Zong is the Mood for Love

Part 2 Looking for the street named happiness Zong is the Mood for Love (1) I start to miss you.your hands. It's the first time I've seen hands like that.Slender, white, middle-class hands. All my dreams about matter. You are not that good looking man.I like your eyes, your mouth and your dimples.I love your last name, your last name is like my parents, they make me fantasize about home.There are not many people left in the Ye Pu family. Ye Pufei said: Jinghong, what are you thinking about in your little head! I am Ye Pu Jinghong, the only daughter of the Ye Pu family.There are not many people in our Ye Pu family anymore.

Although I like you very much, I am far from loving you.Ye Pufei, it is difficult for us to fall in love with others. When I finished watching "Days on the Clouds", it was already late at night. We should be fine. I sit on the ground and you sit behind me.I actually didn't see anything.I am very nervous. It's two o'clock in the morning.US troops in Afghanistan. It seems like a long time.Your hand on my waist. You are very light, as if you are afraid that I will disagree. I hear behind you, your breathing. I hold your hand tightly.You played the violin as a child.Your hands are white and slender.

From the first day I met you, I waited patiently for your call.I don't have your phone number, and I didn't give you my phone number. I'll wait for you to find out by yourself. Sure enough, you called one day and said, I'm looking for Jinghong. I said, who are you? I keep holding your hand.trembling. It's almost dawn. I still can't sleep. stranger.I've started avoiding you during the day.I kept looking down, or talking to someone else.Occasionally in a daze.You finally came.You swept over me, shocking and sweet, and pain - it was too late. It's time for you to fall asleep.you say.

You are an old hand.One move at a time, let me down.How many women have spent time with you in this single man's bed.I want to say that I am different from them.I don't know what's different.I want to say, I'm not the same as the girls who love you, and I'm not the same as the girls who don't love you.As I said, I like your dimples and your last name more than your suburban villa and red off-road jeep.We were among the last to have dimples.Younger than us, they are more beautiful, but cannot have dimples.The classic era that belongs to us and can have dimples has passed.Ye Pu Jinghong, the only daughter of the Ye Pu family, grew old at a very young age.

Towards dawn, I may have fallen asleep.I had a dream, dreaming of the girls in the dormitory, their smiles were innocent.We were once pure and innocent.How I wish it wasn't dawn.I never wake up. But it was dawn. Someone is selling morning papers: Come on, come on, the United States sent troops to Afghanistan! I'm just trying to tell, but still not about love.I can't kid myself that I haven't been able to allow emotional indulgence, even in articles that allow a lot of fiction.Temperance is the virtue I abide by, and temperance is my mourning garment. There are many people in this world who are lonely.They live alone in the world and cannot have any kind of warm relationship with others.This is what I learned later.I'm not the most special one.

And loneliness is really lonely.Inborn.I didn't know that loneliness was innate.I thought that young and flustered girl had grown up.She was alone among all the noisy children and said nothing.I thought she had grown up.She never speaks.I thought that if I didn't go to see her, after many years, she would grow up by herself. When I was four years old, I got sick.Mother is not around.I was lying in a dark room when it suddenly rained, and a typhoon from the south brought heavy rain.Thunder and lightning.The legendary monsters and goblins are coming out.I was hot all over and stayed up all night, but I didn't dare to cry out.

I was finally admitted to the hospital the next day.I stayed in the hospital for a week, and my illness recovered quickly. It's just that I don't talk anymore. My mother was crying beside me.She refused to say where she went that typhoon night. I know mother.She refused to say it because she couldn't.Mothers don't lie. I wrote on paper: Do I have a father? Mother nods. I wrote again: where is he. Mother shook her head. I wrote: When I grow up, will I be as beautiful as Sisi? Sisi is a neighbor's girl.Her father was tall, wearing a gray tunic suit; her mother was beautiful, wearing a plain skirt and a beige trench coat.Sisi has dolls, colorful beads and beautiful gauze skirts, but I only have patched red cloth clothes.And the cigarette paper my mother begged from others as my only toy.

My clothes were made of cotton, because in those days Derome was more expensive than cotton.I only love cotton cloth, regardless of honor or disgrace.In the first month of work, I spent all my wages on cotton skirts and hung them in the closet. The second part: Looking for the street called happiness, Zong is the Mood for Love (2) I asked my mother: When I grow up, will I be as good-looking as Sisi? Mother shook her head, no.You look like your father. What does father look like? Just like you. Why did my father leave us, doesn't my father love me? Mother said, yes, your father doesn't love you.

Why, I asked. Because you are not as good-looking as Sisi. Mother wears two short braids and wears a blue silk scarf around her neck all year round.Her neck is slender and slender, the only shortcoming is that there is a scar that is too hideous.I often asked my mother what the scar was about by gesturing, and she always evaded it.I understand that there are some things my mother will never talk about.I heard my mother crying at night, like a sad female ghost in the setting sun.I always feel that my mother's heart is in another world, and I am the only drag in her world.I am not as beautiful as other children in the kindergarten, and when I was four years old, I suddenly became a mute.

My mother works in the workshop and often has to work night shifts.The temperature in the workshop often reaches 40 degrees, which is as sweltering as a steamer, which makes people extremely irritable.She was wearing dirty work clothes, and she was fat and heavy, carrying those heavy steel pipes and logs, just like those male workers who shouted loudly.Later, my mother was highly myopic, almost blind, and often suffered from insomnia.As a woman who received no timely care and consideration, she was terribly emaciated and aged at an alarming rate. In my impression, my mother was once tall and intelligent.The mother pointed to a tall and graceful woman from a distance, and asked herself who was more beautiful than her.The woman has slightly curly hair, a graceful demeanor, and speaks fluent standard northern Mandarin. She is the only announcer in our factory.She works in a tall tower, and her soft and standard Mandarin circles in mid-air, controlling us for more than ten years.No one can ever take her place.I always wanted her to lean down and talk to me, but she never paid attention to me.

That was a long, long time ago.My mother suddenly asked me, who looks better, her or that aunt? I remember my mother looking at me expectantly. I hesitated.One is the only announcer in the whole factory, with an elegant temperament; the other is my mother, wearing the work clothes in the factory.I gestured and said, she was pretty. I'm not going to lie either. My mother and I will never grow into beautiful women, although we also have our own flower-like years that can be proud of in our lives.However, even in such a beautiful age, there are always women who are more beautiful than us. They always have reasons to be happier than us, and they always have reasons to take away the people we love deeply. Ye Pufei has very little furniture in his home.He has many residences, and he only takes me to one of them.That family has a piano, which is quietly placed in the house. The first time I went to Ye Pufei's house, I went straight to it.Sit down and open the piano lid. The piano roared, what a charming sound. Ye Pufei said, can you play the piano? I won't.But my mother will.I saw it when I was a kid. What tune is she playing? I have no idea. Ye Pufei sat down, and he moved his fingers on the keys like flying.The sound of the piano is like flowing water, splashing and pouring. I said, what is this. He reached out and stroked my short hair, Jinghong, why don't you understand anything? Yes, I really don't know anything about these.My mother can play the piano, but she won't teach her daughter.Her daughter had nothing but the patched cotton clothes and the cigarette wrappers she gave her. My mother never taught me to play the piano. And I wanted to play the piano so much.When I was a child, I could always hear the sound of ding ding dong dong in my dreams, but I didn't dare to make a sound, and I didn't dare to open that door.I was afraid that as soon as I opened the door, the sound of the piano would stop abruptly, and my mother would hold my hand tightly, asking me to return to the empty and cold home. One day when I was seven years old, after school, when I passed the piano room of our factory, I heard the sound of a piano inside. That's not the voice we heard on the radio when we were kids. It's a voice that's fundamentally different from the world we live in. The piano room is in a small forest and has been abandoned for many years.It is said that our factory used to have a pianist, and he was the only pianist in the factory.It is said that he committed suicide in fear of crime during the Cultural Revolution, in the piano room where he practiced the piano all day long.They said his death was not because of the Cultural Revolution, and no one thought of taking him out to fight.Our factory was too far away from the central government, and many instructions could not be communicated to the public in time.They said that it was the problem with the qin itself. The qin fascinated his heart and made him unconscious.Every time he played the piano at night, a coquettish dryad appeared in the dark to meet him, so he was still unmarried after forty years old.After his sudden death, no one in the factory played the piano again.Only occasionally when the factory organizes workers' chorus competitions, it will be moved out, jingle ding dong dong accompanies the crowd like crows, and then quickly moved back to the piano room.They all believed that the black and heavy object was strange and ominous. After school that afternoon, I didn't go home the same way.I suddenly wanted to go to that piano room and look at the painted piano from the window.I like that it is placed silently in the old house, and the sunlight slantly hits the piano cover. How I wish I could turn into a butterfly and fly in lightly through the window.Then I sat in front of the piano in a white gauze skirt that reached to my ankles, and when I closed the piano cover, the sound of "dong" floated back and forth in the room at dusk. That evening, there was actually the sound of a piano in the piano room.It's so fluid, and every stroke of the key is so sad, poignant, and soul-stirring.I hurried over and pushed open the heavy wooden door with a creak. The sound of the piano stopped abruptly.The player who played the piano turned around in astonishment, and I saw my mother wearing a blue silk scarf.Beside her stood our neighbor, Sisi's father.He works in a small white building shaded by trees, and he is the director of the factory. That was the first time I saw my mother playing the piano, and it was also the last time. The second part is looking for the street called happiness, Zong is the Mood for Love (3) I heard the "boom" of the piano cover and fell down heavily.My mother stood up suddenly, walked towards me without saying a word, took my hand, and walked out of the piano room.We walked all the way through the grove and went home without a word. I'd love to go back and have a look at that piano, but I don't.I think my mother must be sad because of my uninvited visit.I am already a burden to my mother, and I can't let her continue to feel sad for me. That time, I didn't even ask how my mother learned to play the piano, and how she could play the piano in that house that had been abandoned for many years.It has become clear to me over the years that my mother has made up her mind not to tell me anything. So, I also made up my mind not to ask her anything. When I was nine years old, I went to Sisi's house to play.Sisi's father's hair has turned gray. He is my favorite uncle in the factory, because he always gives me erasers and pencils, even though my mother always forces me to give them back to him in the end.At noon that day, he seemed to be drinking, and he seemed to be about to cry.He said, whose child are you.I babbled and gestured, I am Jinghong, uncle, I am Jinghong.He looked at me bleary-eyed, come on, he said.He gave me candies wrapped in colored sugar wrappers.He stroked my hair and said, remember, Jinghong, your mother is the best woman in the world. When I took the candy and walked towards the door silently, he suddenly stopped me from behind.Jinghong, he said, you know, that night, on a rainy night, your mother was with me. I felt something in my head explode like thunder, a sharp white light flashed in front of my eyes, and suddenly the whole world fell into darkness. When I woke up, I lay in a white hospital room with my mother crying beside me.I called her softly, Mom. I regained the ability to speak at the age of nine.I quickly picked up the local dialect and became one of many ordinary kids. When I was sixteen, I wrote in my diary: Mother, let us grow old together, as close as sisters. My mother became very old when I was sixteen years old.When I entered adolescence, I found that my mother was not as tall as I had seen when I was a child. She was actually short in stature. I didn’t know how she could carry the steel pipes that only men could carry.Mother was the only one in the factory who could play the piano, except for the dead pianist.She should be wearing a luxurious and graceful evening dress, like a lady, sitting in front of the piano, playing the piano with her slender hands.But my mother didn't look like someone who could play the piano.My mother spent a long time getting along with the people in this factory. Due to the noise of the factory, she learned to speak loudly, curse people in the local language, bargain fiercely with the vendors in the vegetable market, and mutter to the female workers, Fly short and flow long.Once I heard a young aunt say, Jinghong, your mother is so uneducated, and why are you so smart and sensible, you don’t look like your mother’s daughter at all. But I am my mother's daughter. I often saw my mother ringing the bell that announced her commute to and from get off work at a fixed time. When the bell rang, people from the workshop poured in and out of the gate like a tide.I always want to take over my mother's blue silk scarf and the hammer in my hand, and ring that meaningful bell.But obviously it was a very important task, and my mother would never let me do something like this, even if it was just to tap it lightly, lightly, at regular times.So I always watched my mother's gestures from afar. The process of waving her hands in the air was like a solemn and beautiful ceremony.Mother is a foreigner in this factory.Unlike all foreigners, my mother has no fellow countrymen of her own.No one knows how my mother came to this abandoned factory.They say that my mother appeared at the gate of the factory with a rattan box in one hand and me in the other with two braids and a blue silk scarf.The director of this benevolent factory, Sisi's father, took in his mother after hesitation.Soon after, the mother was entrusted with a heavy responsibility.This foreign woman who could not speak the language became the solemn bell ringer in the factory.The bell rang four times.Then, the crowd was surging and the voices were loud. When I was very young, when I saw the ants-like crowd below, I secretly made up my mind that I would never be one of them, and when the bell rang, I hurriedly found my place.I will wait quietly in one place forever until a stranger comes and takes me back to my eternal home. meteor shower. In the early morning, many stars fell together. I called Ye Pufei.Tell him to stand on the tall building where he is and watch the stars fall together. which direction? Everywhere, I say. Suddenly a very bright meteor streaked across the sky. I yelled. Every time a meteor falls, I will yell. His voice became hoarse. Suddenly want to be with Ye Pufei, face him naked, fingers intertwined.He will caress me with his piano-playing hands like a baby. I live in this city, and there have been three rumors about the meteor shower.Every time I wait in the empty night.He raised his head and waited stubbornly.Every meteor shower night is extremely cold.But the last time it was true. I saw!I yelled.It's me, I see it.meteor shower.Many stars died at the same time.We should be having crazy sex in this moment when the stars are collectively falling.Ye Pufei, you should not be one of my many lovers, but you should treat yourself as one of them, even the way of making love is the same, you do it on purpose.Why can't we distinguish each other from the crowd.I'm not like all your girls.I'm not the same as the girl you love, and I'm not the same as the girl you don't love. I'm going to bed.he said on the phone. I don't know why I want to be with Ye Pufei.He is 10 years older than me, single, keen on earning money and buying a house, full of energy, and loves cleanliness.He always meets with me alone.He and I would occasionally go shopping in a cheap supermarket, which is said to be a gathering place for fake and inferior products.Ye Pufei won't pay the bill for me, he is very careful when buying things.When he sees pretty girls, he always hangs around in front of them, obviously he doesn't know how to strike up a conversation. Occasionally in the afternoon or evening, we go to drink coffee.I often sit and think about my own things.A little lazy and absent-minded. Jinghong, your only shortcoming is that you are not beautiful enough. What would you do if I was beautiful. Not so much, he smiled, his eyes were wrinkled, and he looked good. Do you look like your father? Not the same.He said, I look more like my mother. So what was your father like? He is a soldier, tall, handsome and courageous when he was young. The second part is looking for the street called happiness, Zong is the Mood for Love (4) He divorced my mother, it is said that he fell in love with a girl when he was young. It is said that he loved her very much, but never went to her. Where is he now? In the hospital, it has been a long time.He has Alzheimer's and doesn't recognize me anymore. I drank the last bit of coffee and said, this place is too dark, let's move to a brighter place. Ye Pufei and I went to the hospital to visit his father.The sun was shining on the bed of the dying old man. He opened his eyes and looked at me, slowly stretched out his thin hands, and his cloudy eyes suddenly became bright.He shed tears.He was speechless. I sat by the sickbed and fed him the ginseng chicken soup I made. After a long time, he smiled and murmured, Ye Puyu, you are finally willing to come and see me. He refused to speak any more. Twelve days later, Ye Pufei's father passed away. Ye Puyu is my mother's name.Although in the household registration book, the mother's name is: Wu Yu. I rushed back to the south and asked my mother: Who is Ye Pugang? Mother was silent for a long time and said, where is he. He died three days ago. Mother's tears flowed silently: You finally found him.What a crime. The Ye Pu family used to be one of the most powerful families in the south.When it comes to grandpa, he is the descendant of a prodigal family.He has countless wives and concubines.My mother, Ye Puyu, was his youngest daughter. Grandpa is passionate, even for humble and nameless women.Ye Pugang is a remnant of my grandfather's countless affairs.Ye Pu has just been introduced into the army, and the young man has risen steadily through the years of struggle, becoming a young and promising officer.He only knew that he would be loyal to his benefactor, but he didn't expect to be amazed by a woman named Yu in the living room with an embroidered screen, causing a romantic affair.For the first time this time, God did not forgive me, how did the siblings get married.The gentle and jade-like woman was also expelled from the house, and she could not see Ye Pugang again until she died, and she would never be called the daughter of Ye Pu's family. The mother changed her name, from a noble lady who played the piano to an unknown female worker in the factory, but she never expected that, across thousands of mountains and rivers, her daughter met Ye Pufei, and an undeserved fate would repeat itself. again. Jinghong, how did you come up with this name? It's so abrupt and blunt.And your person is indeed soft and gentle, you only feel so natural and kind, but you can't think of a reason to love. You said that the first time. I want to commit myself to you.When one side of the earth is full of gunpowder smoke, in the reinforced concrete forest of the city, in an empty room with a piano alone, all the curtains are down, I just want to turn the clouds and rain with you, and turn the wind and the wind. For the first time, I wanted to say this. But, I will never say.Like that dumb girl when I was young, I learned not to speak. Because you can never love me, and I can't love you. Like my mother, she won't tell me anything. Ye Pu just passed away, and seven days later, his mother also left. She loved him to the end. Before I rushed back to the capital, Ye Pufei buried his father, sold all the properties, and left without saying goodbye without knowing where he was going, refusing to leave a word. Spring came, and I vomited while leaning on a peach tree.When the peach blossoms are in full bloom, my doom and deadline finally come.my daughter.She will be my mother Ye Puyu, my father Ye Pugang, my elder brother Ye Pufei, and me, the daughter of Ye Pu’s family, Ye Pu Jinghong.