Chapter 7 part 1 this is how we once learned to love you never saw my body

part 1 this is how we once learned to love you never saw my body (1) The last time I saw Xiaolong and his performance was at a bar near the school.On the second floor of this bar, there is a nightclub with many dark-faced women. A lot of people went there that day.At the climax of the performance, the five members of the band took off their red raincoats. They are naked. They are crazy. People flock to it. I knew I should go up there too, to see his body. I have been sitting quietly in the back.As before, I've never seen his performances uncommonly quiet.That is the most precious and warmest body I love, proving its ideals, passion and anger.It has always faced the bewitched crowd, not me, an ordinary woman who knows her fate and is docile.It dawned on me that no matter how hard we tried to get closer, we were never the same kind of people.I also understand that he will never love me, he loves something else.

I called his name as he passed me.very light. I don't think he heard me call him. Then I walked out of the bar and drank a little Coke. Then go home. They all say good girls always get happiness. Yes, I will.I would wake up one morning next to another man.I would take his hand and place it on my left breast. I'll say baby. Once on a summer afternoon, wearing my most beautiful dress, I found the suburban house where Xiaolong lived.I sat in the middle of his humble but clean room, flirting with him demurely and sadly. I gave my reasons for convincing him to have sex with me: You are twenty-seven years old;

You may live to be sixty-seven; If you change your girlfriend every two years, then you will still have (67-27) ÷ 2 = 20 girlfriends. If you're not the showy type, you'll probably have five or six girlfriends in your life. So, it doesn't matter if I have one more or one less. In addition, there are three very good reasons: 1. Although I am not very good-looking, I am not ugly either; 2. Although I have no money, I am not poor either; 3. I don't have STDs. Xiaolong laughed, as if he heard a very funny joke. I go on to give reasons: You don't have a girlfriend yet, what will you lose if you make love to me?And benefiting others without harming oneself, why not do it?

My skin is still smooth and elastic, maybe in a few years you won't be able to, you know, it's a sin to waste your time. I may not have experience, but even I know that experience is easy to learn. Maybe I should learn from experienced men, but you know, I can't try them one by one because that would be too unhygienic. Xiaolong was serious, but couldn't help laughing out loud. He said, I don't need a girlfriend, I just need a partner. Wouldn't that be better?I also don't want to be responsible for feelings. And he was obviously taken aback. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he said, if I make love to you now, and then I say, you go, don't have any more contact, would you like it?

I said yes. So what are you waiting for, he said. So Xiaolong came to me and wanted to put his hand on my shoulder. I dodge. Xiaolong smiled, he did it on purpose. I keep my head down.Today I'm just here to convince you, not to make love to you. People need to tame each other: do something together, spend some time together, or do nothing or say nothing, and then, when we break up, we will feel sad.In this world, there are millions of identical roses, only one tamed the little prince.They lived on the same planet, he watered her, covered her with a glass cover, set up a screen, killed caterpillars, and he paid attention to her groundless complaints, ridiculous boasting and silence.However, we often do not pay attention to such small things.As the little prince's fox said: This is a behavior that is often overlooked.

Part 1 This is how we once learned to love you never saw my body (2) Xiaolong: In the room where all the boarding girls nap, I keep writing to you.I have rewritten it many times when the night actually comes.I've been going back and forth, trying to get rid of redundant sentences and vocabulary.This is my only letter without tears.I have practiced many times to be able to do this. I don't want to sing anymore.That night I sat at the door and waited for you to come, putting on a light lipstick.You said you would come.I wake up very early.You finally didn't come to watch me sing.From that night on, I never wanted to sing again.I knew I would give up sooner or later, but I didn't expect it to be so soon.I never wanted to sing, but when I did, it was so loud that my mother heard it and thought it was crying.Many nights, I always dreamed that I beat your doors and windows and said, please open the door.

There is a wish that I have been unwilling to say, because I am afraid that if I say it, it will no longer be fulfilled.I now know that it can't be achieved, so I can finally say it.I wish I could tell you: If possible, I wish I never sang, or from now on, forever.I just need to treat you down-to-earth, like an ordinary peasant woman.I will do the following things for you: laundry, cooking, shopping for pure cotton clothes, preparing medicine for headaches after drinking, secretly drinking the excess wine for you, and taking you home after you get drunk.I'm going to clean the room myself and get a thermos so you don't have to drink cold water from the tap.I will add some simple furniture, and salt and oil, and put new curtains and sheets, and I will plant unknown flowers and plants, and fill your room with life.You rehearse for the show and I'll hang around the company, a neat white collar in a pink suit.In the evening I will wait in the house.In winter, I hope you will walk with me on the sunny street, with your hands in the gray coat, and you will no longer feel cold.I was plainly dressed and unassuming, and everyone who saw us would immediately understand that we were meant to be together, God's will, unstoppable.

I thought all I had to do was sing, and that singing would fulfill all my extravagant earthly desires.But things are not as I imagined: when you see me singing, you will come to love me.not like this.Maybe I'd be famous if I had enough talent, cunning, and stoic patience, but I don't have any of those.My song is my most precious privacy, like the dust in this city, it is my face, my expression, and my only desire for prosperous material.I see someone drinking all night and letting go, but it's not me.How I wish someone would come to love me, and he came with a box of makeup.I want him to love me and ask him to go home with me.Leaving the city, leaving the virtual network, and returning to the small town in the south, night wind, lights by the river, rock candy mung beans, frozen beer, I want him to hold my hand, and walk through the place where I was a girl, I am made of blood Daughter, accept destiny's happiness.

I hope my stubbornness and stupidity didn't embarrass you, I still beg you to believe that I am a good girl.If I could say one last wish, I would hope that all my memories would end on that cool moonlit night four years ago.How I wish that woman dancing in the moonlight is me.How I wish I could cross the river and come to tie up your long hair for you.The only secret of Happiness Avenue is the fleeting love, which is not intended to last forever, but only lives in the hearts of few people, just like planting the only seed.There will be countless women in this world who will die of heartbreak, but they are no longer me.

"I loved you, true love." If the secret had to be known, I hope it was you, who heard it. My beloved little dragon stood up and walked towards me. When his hands were about to land on my shoulders, I got up and left the room. On that summer afternoon, I left the person I loved the most when I was young.I don't think I ever saw him again. Since then, there will never be a rock lead singer who is stronger and more determined than me, so arrogant and arrogant. If you see a girl dragging a big guitar playing and singing in various bars in the capital, she sings: I am a fish.

She must not be me.