Chapter 15 12. Travel with desire

When Zhan Naichao listened to Xia Jinluo's words, the feeling in his head was the same as that in his feet. Basically it's getting numb.He didn't realize that Xia Jinluo was such a talkative person.She doesn't tell people stories or memories.Instead, he externalizes his thought process, like exposing all the tendons in his head.This seems to be something from the heart, and it sounds dark and turbulent, with climaxes.Zhan Naichao originally wanted to study it seriously, but after listening to it, he realized that it was something of no value at all, so he began to think about his own affairs logically, and Xia Jinluo wouldn't even find out.

"I had a talk with Jiang Rizhao that day, and I felt that what he said was not unreasonable. I made a big fuss about my family, but I have been shown a new world in front of my eyes. The old one looks bleak and dilapidated everywhere, and I feel ashamed. I have to face the corner and face the wall, but I thought, this is my home after all, it’s like this, it’s because this is my home, so the thought of living here will make me even more irritable and unbearable... "While speaking, Xia Jinluo kept observing Zhan Naichao, she found out that he was absent-minded, and she was really chilled.

It's never her fault to talk too much, and it's never her fault to be confused. Her fault lies in taking this wrong step.Where did the experts show her a new world, and she was going to enter a new era.Xia Jinluo just fell from a ruin where no one listened to her, into another ruin where no one listened, no one cared—Zhan Naichao didn't even help her carry her bag.In contrast, the original ruins were tidy.Xia Jinluo almost had a glimpse of her own life, even if she shouted in the center of the world, no one would hear her. Disappointment becomes despair when it is not observed by outsiders for a long time.Thinking about it, Xia Jinluo felt as if she had fallen into an ice cellar.It's like a prisoner broke through the prison door with his last bit of strength, thinking he was free, but found that there was no exit, but a larger prison.

Fortunately, she still doesn't know what Zhan Naichao is thinking. If she knew, she wouldn't stay by his side for another second. He was thinking of a woman's belly.When he was still living on a dirty street—in his memory, that street was covered with rotten cabbage leaves, and walking on it was limp, like walking on a woman’s belly. There lived a mixed-race pork Xishi, a woman more than two meters tall, and a carrot seller who wore red tights and never wore a bra.Zhan Naichao rode a small bicycle through them, they never paid attention to him, he was always afraid of these weird women.

One day, when he was riding his bicycle in the family compound, a boy he knew ran up and said, "There is a madman at the end of the street who wants to throw stones at dogs." Zhan Naichao said, "You can't let him hit dogs." Ah." The little boy said, "Okay, I'll stop him." Then he ran out quickly. Zhan Naichao waited nervously, never before.When he was about to go out by bike to find a partner, he suddenly saw his partner approaching with a weird and nervous smile on his face, and said, "I knocked him out." Cheerful and perfect, almost like a "hey—" strange tone at the end of the song, obviously frightened.

Zhan Naichao rode his bicycle and ran towards the end of the street, but the little boy suddenly cried bitterly and ran towards his home. Sure enough, a man fell asleep at the end of the street, wearing a suit——Zhan Naichao's heart suddenly tightened: It's a white-collar worker! ——When he took a closer look, the man's suit was very dirty, so he was relieved.On closer inspection, the person was a woman.Zhan Naichao saw that she was wearing a more dirty striped shirt under the open suit. The lines showed that she was a woman, but her Adam's apple and face were a man. Zhan Naichao didn't dare to look too closely, but he didn't want to leave, so he put the bicycle down, and it just fell on the man's lap, and the bell rang.

Zhan Naichao raised his head, closed his eyes and enjoyed the moist vegetable scent, the sun dyed the air a terrible golden yellow.He raised his foot and stepped on the man's stomach. Zhan Naichao wears good-looking sneakers, and the heel of the shoe will shine down and down. At this time, it will shine up and down as Zhan Naichao's movements become rough step by step.Zhan Naichao was overjoyed, his cheeks were frighteningly red.The other foot also stepped on it, and both feet stepped on the hip bones of the man, feeling that the bones covered with leather were slippery, which was very fun.

He put his feet into the person's clothes, and seeing her protruding ribs, he put his feet on her ribs and stepped on them.It took a long time for the excitement to subside, and Zhan Naichao finally left. Zhan Naichao gradually realized that there was desire in his behavior at that time, but he was unwilling to admit that he had desire for intersex people, so he simply interpreted it as violence, and then simplified violence into the concept of "violent people". ——Zhan Naichao unconsciously sorted out his past in Xia Jin Luoxu's words. He could no longer pretend to be stupid. Things that already existed were added to his life for no reason, and he was no longer a I just want to be a "violent" boy.

He looked at Xia Jinluo, stared at her constantly moving lips, and nodded with a smile. I thought to myself: "Travel with desire, what a dangerous person I am." At this time, the broadcast said that it was time to enter the station, Zhan Naichao stood up slowly and steadily, stretched out his hand and said to Xia Jinluo: "Get up, it's time to enter the station." The hand Xia Jinluo was about to entrust to him hesitated in mid-air.