Chapter 10 Chapter 9 "Politics After a Breakup"

I fell in love with a bad girl last week, Zhang Bao's cell phone was not turned on for two days. "I met the protein girl last night," Zhang Bao said, "Suddenly I fell in love again..." "The protein girl?" "She was my girlfriend half a year ago. Shy, letting go of my past sexuality." "Such a nice girl, how could you let her slip away?" "Because I'm a jerk!" "Well, let me guess, you reunited with her and found out that you were still right She has a special liking. The girlfriends I met later became more like children. The books you bought are too heavy for them, and the jokes you tell them don’t understand. Every night at home, they grab the TV remote control and argue over who should clear the trash can. Do you think Tell the protein girl that the past six months have been just a dream, without her your life is nothing." "Why do you think so?" "Because I had the same emotion as you. You reunited with your old love on the street and suddenly became tender Kind. Light rain across the gloomy sky, surrounded by moon and birds. Her long hair still makes your heart move, her eyes still make you terrified. You pretend to be relaxed on the surface, but your legs keep shaking. She asks your eyes Why is it a little red, why is there an OK bandage on her hand. You ask her why her cheeks are a little swollen, is it because her boyfriend is fierce to you. She said, do you still like Lu Besson, and the coffee is still very strong. Meat floss is always added to meals Cheese is not allowed to have holes. Tell me, do you still like Su Youpeng, do you still dare not touch pork liver? You have to squeeze into Din Tai Fung after waiting for an hour, and each bite is a small crab meat cage. She said that she has written to you over the years , but dare not throw it in the mailbox. Guess you have a new lover, she obeys you. You said that I have often dreamed these years, dreaming that you and I are sitting alone on Mount Everest. We fell into each other's pupils until the body was completely frozen She said that the dragon we used to go to in the past is now refitted for generation Y to play video games. You said that we watched the special-shaped Xinxin Volkswagen, but now it is next to Liutiaotong. She asked whether the elbows of your shirt are still often torn, torn Who will help you sew after it is finished? You said your father still loves you very much, and asked the eight generations of ancestors of the boy who called. She said that when we sang the ancient east has a dragon, she believed that she was the master of the future just like Luo Dayou I said Chen Xiaodong, who learns how to dance from black people, is popular nowadays, and the more poisonous the star, the more popular. She said, do you remember when we were ignorant and made many vows to each other? I said that now we are driven crazy by loans, praying for the scratch-off event every day Medium. She asked if she remembered—" "Wait, wait," Zhang Bao interrupted, "You said it very romantically, but it was completely different from what happened to me yesterday. I have no feelings for the protein girl, and I even exchanged new business cards. They are all in a lack of interest. Now she has a fat face like a dumpling, and she is dressed like a Filipino maid." "Then why did you fall in love?" "I fell in love with the friend who walked with her!" "What "I reunited with my old love on the street, and suddenly became very tender. She told me about the changes over the years, and I kept peeking at her friend's firm twin peaks. She asked me if I still like Lu Besson. I wonder if her friend will be free to watch a movie. She said if she wants to drink a cappuccino, I just want to have sex with her friends alone. set about. So I superficially coax the proteinHey, I'm so glad you have a friend who lives and dies with you.I hope they will fight among themselves quickly so that I can attack her friend. " "But, you are always embarrassed to ask her friends in front of the protein girl. "That's right, but you have to form an alliance with the protein girl so that you can complete the "three links". "You want the protein girl to help you pursue her?" "You certainly can't make Protein feel like you're taking advantage of her."You have to pretend to care about the recent situation of protein and ask her if she is busy recently.Do you usually surf the Internet, and do you soak in the bathtub alone when you are lonely?She will naturally talk about that XX is my best friend, and we go shopping together in all the stores.You said that you have similar temperaments, beautiful appearance but not arrogant.She said thank you for your compliment, my friend has no date yet.You said how is this possible, I thought there were dozens of men chasing you.She gave me her friend's phone number and said she was home after 9pm every night.You said that I only think of you when I ask her out, and I will always find fault with how she is worse than you.She said don't be too stupid, I hope you can fall in love with her.If I give birth to a fat baby in the future, I can still be a godmother. ""What if she is not so great and thinks you are humiliating her by chasing her friends?" "Then you have to do it secretly behind her back."Inquired about the woman's way to get off work, and ran into her by chance.Wait for the same bus with her, and ask her if she is hungry.Treat her to home-cooked dishes and praise her as the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. "What if she goes to tell protein?" "Then you just refuse to admit it, saying that you just want to ask her about your recent situation."I still worry about you, but I dare not tell you face to face. ""Why are you so shameless?" "" Shameless? Zhang Bao said proudly, "I'm just familiar with the politics after the breakup!" "The Way of Dating"

Zhang Bao met his old love last week, and I started dating bad girls. "She said she would change her hair and dress for me." I excitedly said to Zhang Bao, "Today we have our first date, and I don't know where to go. DOUBLE_QUOTA TION" Never go to restaurants or See a movie! ""why? "" It takes two or three hours to eat, which is a big investment for beginners.The bills are usually two to three thousand yuan, so if you don't like her, it's not worth it.What's more, eating is a rude activity, and you will see that the other party's hands are full of oil.The chicken legs gnawed to the bone, and they licked and refused to let go.There are chewed pieces of meat on the tongue, and the mouth is like a funnel when drinking soup.Wouldn't it be embarrassing to fart later if you ate too many beans? ""What's wrong with movies? "" If you choose a popular theater, you will have to wait in line for a long time.Entering the arena was crowded, and the price of Coke and popcorn was 160.I couldn't communicate with her for two hours, and I was too embarrassed to sneak out because the movie was ugly.In order for her to understand your personality, you need to be very careful about how you react to the movie.Humorous dialogue laughs very loudly, in order to show that you have a good level.Touching scenes where you sniff like you're waiting for her to give you Kleenex.You, an old monk, are in meditation when you expose the camera lens, as if you have few desires and a pure heart.You shake your head and sigh, but you think in your heart that I must buy a DVD. After two hours of performance, you are already exhausted before the show ends.She still doesn't know much about you, and you still don't know anything about her. ""If you don't watch movies, you can only go to KTV." "Singing KTV with a girl you met for the first time is like going to a nude beach to sunbathe with her.The shortcomings of each other are exposed, no matter how you tune the key. If you order "Little Rain in March", she knows that you are getting old.If you point to Jolin Tsai, she thinks you are not out of puberty yet.If she clicks "Wordless Love Criticism", you think she is not advanced enough.If she orders Faye Wong's songs, you will laugh at her overthinking her abilities.If you don't even sing, it may show that you are shy and closed off.If you sing too much, your mouth will drool.If she's on her phone while you're singing, it immediately shows that she's not interested in you.If you go to the bathroom while she sings, you probably won't see each other after tonight. "" No wonder I haven't been able to get a girlfriend because I've been engaging in the above activities.So how do you date? ""I like to go for a walk.The two keep their eyes forward, without staring into each other's faces.There is a step away from each other, but it is easy to get an electric shock.I like to walk with her on Ren'ai Road, from the "Presidential Palace" to the city hall.Stop at the Hongxi Building, imagining the happiness of two people living in it.Walk slowly to campaign headquarters and argue over who wins and who loses.At the end of the talk, she said that she does not support Taiwan independence, so you change the subject and say whether you want to eat oden.Then you walk up to Air Force Headquarters and you say you worked really hard as a soldier.When he was in the kitchen, he got food poisoning and was fined to get up in the middle of the night to practice spear shooting.She said manly man, why are you so weak like a paste?One day you have a child, how dare your wife let you take care of it alone?Then you walked to Jiuru and ordered a bowl of glutinous rice balls to satisfy your hunger.You feed her a glutinous rice ball, but you feel satisfied.Although your surname is not Gu, you own the wealth of the whole world.

When you go to the circle, you go around to Eslite to read books, and she immediately goes to literary classics.She said her favorite was Proust's Memoirs, and you said your favorite was Disney's Tigger.She said that you are so naive, who would dare to be your daughter-in-law, and you said that you intend to compete.When you leave Eslite, you look at the clothes in the windows of famous boutiques and think that these are good birthday presents.You said that she fits the Armani trousers very well, and it feels like 165 when you put them on. She said that I already belong to myself, so why should I care about other people's eyes.Leaving Eslite and walking to Fubon Building, she sat on the steps and lit a candle.You bought a pack of cola nut broad bean crisps, and she threw them into the sky one by one and then caught them with her mouth.You count the stars in the sky one by one, and you count how many cars on the ground are speeding.Her hair floats to your eyeballs, as lush as the street trees in front of you.

You continued walking to Yanji Street to drink papaya milk, and you threatened her that you seem to have gained weight recently.She said we'd go to the Alexander Club and start tomorrow with only tofu.On the road, there is a house for rent attached to a telephone pole, and you ask her if she would like to move out and live with you.She asked if this was a marriage proposal in disguise, and you started to hem and haw.Then you walked to the Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall, where many grandpas and grandmas were dancing social dances.She said that if she wanted to be as happy as them, the seventies and eighties would still be jealous.Finally, you walked to the Warner Village Show, and she pulled you in to watch it.You warn her it's a scary movie, and she says you're such a coward.After reading it, she was so frightened that she hugged you and cried, and your clothes were wet with snot. ""It's so touching! "I couldn't hold back the tears," and then what? ""I went to the toilet to get toilet paper and met another girl.I changed my phone and address the next day without giving her any explanation. ""You..."" I originally wanted to go to Ren'ai Road with this woman, but she actually said that it was not very comfortable to go directly to Hyatt.I shout out and thank the Lord that someone finally understands that I have flat feet! "I knocked Zhang Bao down with one punch, and he started laughing wildly.

"party" Zhang Bao taught me how to date last week, and I stepped on a piece of shit on Renai Road. "Don't be discouraged, I'll take you to a party." Zhang Bao said. "I'm not interested." "This kind of party is very fun, once you go there, you will never forget it. The host has reserved the restaurant, and the girls invited are professional and beautiful. They remember how much a NT dollar is equal to a British pound, and their jokes are even more obscene than those in the military. .Boys smell better than women, honest and sincere like Ah Liang. Of course you can't see their hemorrhoids, sexual fantasies every 5 seconds. You must pretend to be busy when you show up. It is most appropriate to be two hours late. Your You must have a strong memory, and you must never forget unfamiliar faces. Because everyone’s work is very similar, and the English names are longer than each other. Remember to offer the business card with both hands, and even if you have never heard of the other party, you have to say it for a long time. To warm up the scene, you can Say hey you look like a certain star, I'm sure I'm not the first to say that. If he doesn't know it, he thinks you have a unique vision, and if he does, he thinks you're sensible.

After introducing each other, first talk about mutual friends. Are there any seniors of mine among your colleagues? I have a friend who is also in your bank.Then talk about the relationship with the host, how do you know Mike Zhang, he often drove me to the supermarket when I was studying abroad.Then talk about each other's companies, whether your stocks will rise, we need your help in this case.Finally, let’s talk about a common client. So-and-so is really a jerk. I heard that he works as a cowboy at night.At about 5 minutes, you should start looking for other objects. "" But sometimes the other party speaks with high interest, and you are embarrassed to leave the room halfway.The unfunny jokes she keeps telling, you have to hold down your bladder. "" Now you have to make up an excuse. ""What excuse? ""Sorry my phone is ringing. ""How can you let someone call just now? "" No one called.Your phone vibrates for an incoming call, so you can pick it up and fake it. ""But what if she's so beautiful that you want to sleep with her as soon as you see her?" "" You have to show that you can be strong without desire, and leave her aside in 5 minutes.She will think that other men are pestering me, and this kid will leave the scene after two or three sentences.Could it be that he has a partner with better conditions than me, and he still sees through that my beauty is just makeup.Once she starts to think wildly, her interest in you will become stronger and stronger. ""What an insidious trick! "" Actually, this is for your sake, lest you be disappointed in her in the end.Some beauties are so kind that you don't know their faces.Some beauties are very fake and you are often hard to resist. Pretending to be beautiful in 5 minutes is like a piece of chewing gum, which is not nutritious but at least gives a fresh breath. After 5 minutes, they began to report road conditions boringly, and nine out of ten sentences were playing ping-pong. "" But how to break into another conversation without her? "" At this time, the two of us will help each other.You walked up to me and rolled your eyes at me.I shouted hey long time no see, I thought you were still making money abroad.Then I will introduce you to everyone, and of course I will sell you.I grew up with him, and every teacher likes him the most.He has a good brush and calligraphy, and he once demonstrated to the class how to brush his teeth. "" This kind of obedient brand has long since lost the market! "" That's what he said... So this: He has participated in the speeding party and robbed dozens of Uni-President supermarkets.A cactus is tattooed on his butt, and each thorn represents an emotional trauma. ""I don't need you to sell for me, I just need to be sincere. ""sincere?Sincerity will let you drink in a corner alone. ""According to what you said, you should try your best to laugh at the party and say something that is not meaningful. ""That's right, once the conversation starts to have a topic, you have to dodge it early. ""For example? ""Like a party there's always a bunch of women, black turtlenecks and Prada pants.The glasses are retro black frames, and the skin is as white as tofu.The menthol cigarettes I smoke are getting longer, and the lipsticks I wear are getting brighter.They hated Microsoft Windows, seeing it as a symbol of the clutches of capitalism.They like to discuss Jung or Lacan, interpreting every male movement as sexual desire.If you take one more look at their chest, they think you're chauvinistic.It's the kind of conversation where you say I heard the sirens going off and I have to go see if someone smashed my car window. ""It's still safer to talk to men. ""There are also a group of men in the party, and everything can be involved in politics.They criticize all political parties and always use external examples to measure the phenomenon here.They think all the candidates are lying and the only one they can trust is Xu Xinliang.They thought they were here to participate in a national lecture, and their voices were louder than Li Tao's.When encountering this kind of dialogue, you should immediately say that your clothes are stained with sand tea sauce, and you must go to the kitchen immediately. "" Let's talk about our business. "" Never.There are also people who study business at the party, and every word they speak must be matched with P: HTTP, SAP, ERP, ISP, ICP, ASP, S&P, IPO, EPS. In order to avoid exposing your ignorance, your mouth is the best Keep it covered with a napkin. ""According to you, there is no need to talk at the party at all. ""That's right, the purpose of the party is to collect phone numbers, and then plan for the long term when you get back. "We walked to the door of the restaurant, Zhang Bao wiped his hair, ready to fight a tough battle.

"Double Date" Zhang Bao took me to a party last week. Before he left, he saw two girls.He came back very discouraged and didn't know how to date one of them. "When have you ever had a hard time dating a woman?" "I might lose this time because they love sisters." Ah, you know women like that, they're always inseparable.The two people have similar conditions and even have the same hairstyle.They were all invited to appear on "Very Men and Women", and they declined together with a tacit understanding.Her name is Sally, her name is Vicky, she is AE, she writes a copy. One is a Scorpio and one is a virgin, one is cold and the other is enthusiastic.A copier sits between the two-person seats, which has the highest usage rate in the company.Whenever paper jams or toner runs out, colleagues rush to fix it.The two followed suit, food, clothing, housing and transportation were all together.Throwing tantrums on the same day every month, everyone suspects that they have the same period.Order the same thing for lunch and sit next door to the bathroom.When the other party was away, she answered the phone for her, and she didn't feel good about the man who called.After get off work, we go to Ide together and choose the right underwear for each other.We went to watch 007 together on weekends, and we were willing to squeeze a seat when it was full.We traveled to Paris together during the annual vacation, and lost our luggage at the airport.Watching movies together on the plane, we all like Brad Pitt's little ass.There is an affair in Paris at the same time, and the person who is chasing Vicky is Sally's younger brother.

After the EPHONE advertisement came out, their relationship became closer.Like Microsoft's Windows and IE, they become an inseparable package. Go to the "mansion" together at night, order Scotch and Bloody Mary. Attend the party together, ignoring others and whispering in the corner.If a man is interested in Vicky, he has to answer Sally's question first.The chances of you being able to meet Vicky alone that night are very low, at most three people will move together. After returning, the two will exchange comments on you, and for the first time there are differences of opinion.Vicky said you were very sincere, and Sally heard that you were very hardworking.Vicky felt your love, and Sally said that this kind of person only loves himself.Vicky says your humor hits the nail on the head, Sally says your jokes are bad.Vicky thinks your small eyes are attractive, but Sally hates your single eyelids.Vicky is thinking of going out with you alone, and Sally says that the date should be near the police station.

"That's right," Zhang Bao said, "so if I want to chase Vicky, I must get Sally first." So you call Sally and ask her what she thought of the party that day.She said there was a guy wearing Prada that day, but it still looked sloppy.You knew she was scolding you, but you had no choice but to play dumb for the sake of the overall situation.I thought to myself that one day I will build a Leifeng Pagoda and press you down for the rest of your life.You start flattering and flattering her, saying that she looks like Brigitte Lin.She must have been a college belle, and now she has more than a dozen boyfriends.She didn't answer for a while, obviously softened by your lie.You said that there is a Starbucks downstairs in your company, and I will treat you to afternoon tea another day.

"Wait a minute," I interrupted, "Who are you chasing after?" "Vicki. But I'm doing a united front to get Sally's favor first." "Will it work?" "The next day I called Vicki Qi, ask her to see The Beach on the weekend. She had dinner with Sally at noon, and she would naturally ask Sally what to wear. At this time, Sally has changed her perception of me. Maybe she will persuade Vicky that I am the one!" "No, no," I shook my head, "If I were Sally, I would think that your sweet talk to me was a sign. I lost hostility to you because I thought you wanted to be with me. Got it In the end you go after Vicky, and I get angrier." "That's even better! Once she gets angry with me, she'll say bad things. Vicky will think she's irrational and criticizes me just because of jealousy. That's just fine." Instigate the relationship between two people, and they may break the relationship because of it." "You underestimate the friendship between women. They are not like us who only stay together for eating, drinking and having fun. The level of friendship between men is very low, and most of the contacts are for Fame and fortune. We copied each other’s exercises when we were young, and killed each other when we played rugby. When we were soldiers, we went to 831 together, and often lied to his wife that he was with me last night. At parties, we competed on who farts the most. The definition of food is Taiwan beer and Peanuts. The content of the conversation is always a woman's body, or how to treat constipation. The only communication is Ai Iijima's VCD, but we will never discuss Japanese TV dramas together. We will not touch each other's body. nausea.

But women can hold hands while shopping on the street, and two people lick the same ice cream.When you are frustrated, you fall into each other's arms and put on coats for each other.Occasionally exchange diaries, and remember to give gifts on each other's birthdays.They will talk about the truth of life and share each other's secrets.They would encourage each other to be independent, and Li Ang read them thoroughly.They invented feminism and men will never understand what that is. ""So...""So when Sally told Vicky the sweet things you said to her, Vicky would definitely believe it. ""You're right... By the way, let's have a double date to distract Sally.If I chase Vicky, you don't care about Sally. If she happens to fall in love with you, wouldn't everyone be happy? "I shook my head, knowing disaster was coming.