Chapter 3 Chapter 2 "Anna Sui"

Last week I found out that the laser head was abducting a college girl, so I sent Zhang Bao to find the woman to check. "I'm in love!" Zhang Bao said to me the next day. "Who is she?" "Anna Sui." "Anna Sui?" "She works at the Anna Sui counter in a department store." "What's in Anna Sui? Is it egg yolk?" "Anna Sui is a kind of cosmetic. Pudding." "Wait a minute, you're in love with the college student that Laser Head is abducting?" "She's Laser Head's younger sister!" Great, the love rival I was trying to frame didn't kidnap the girl, but my military adviser did. On the baby teeth.

"You can't fall in love with her! She is too young for you." "You have never loved a college student, and you don't understand the beauty of youth." Zhang Bao said, "We were taught to follow steps and obey the rules when we were young. , They want us to be admitted to Jianzhong and then think of girls. After being admitted to Jianzhong, they want us to enter National Taiwan University and then find a good woman. Then we should study abroad first, get a Ph.D. first, find a job first, and be promoted to a manager. There was someone Waiting for me in the botanical garden, I missed the appointment and went home to study Newton’s laws of motion. Someone once ran all the way from Taipei to Okayama Air Force Base, but I hid in the barracks to prepare for the GMAT. Looking at her leaving back, I gritted my teeth and told myself: as long as With fame, love will be as easy as air. Now that I have passed all the checkpoints, I suddenly find that youth is like a bus that keeps passing by, and I am standing on the sidewalk without paying attention. My youth is a series of means, just to Today’s high salary and a bunch of employee benefits that I don’t need. I’m always living for the future, and today is always a transitional period. I’ve got fame, but love has already fallen asleep. I’m no longer young. It was suffocating in the air. Yesterday I saw Anna Sui, it was raining outside, and my heart cleared up for the first time. She looks like Britney gone bad, but with Utada's big eyes. She is direct, passionate, loud , no taboos. She doesn't wear underwear, has smoked drugs, has tattoos on her calves, and earrings in her navel. She talks openly about sex, as if she was just introducing cosmetics. She kissed me on the lips when we first met, and I felt alive! I Finally a breath of fresh air, it wakes me up from 30+ years of slumber." "You enter a mid-life crisis early, you need to take tranquilizers." "I don't need tranquilizers, I need love. I have lived for the past 30+ years Like a mummy, I wake up in the morning and start thinking about how to escape. Anna Sui made me feel that love is no longer out of reach, love can be like running water, turn on the tap and it will flow." "You can't pay for this water. Listen, There is an easier way to deal with the midlife crisis, you can buy a Ferrari." "You are a material slave." "Zhang Bao, listen to me, you have to be rational." "I don't want to be rational, reason has misled me 30 years." "Reason allows you to receive a fixed salary on the 30th of every month." "I don't care, I can resign for her. Let's discuss exploring Tibet together." "You can't go to Tibet with her, you don't even You should go to 7-11 with her." "Why?" "Because you can't be with her. The age difference between you is too big, if nothing else, one day when she reaches the peak of sexual desire, you may already be choosing the right one. wheelchair." "She loves me, she won't care." "She loves you, how could she love you? They love Japanese dramas, and she probably doesn't love you as much as the mobile phone sold by Takeshi Kaneshiro." "You don't understand Our love, she kissed me in public when we first met yesterday, so intense that I broke my glasses. I am not handsome, and I have no money. If it is not true love, what is it?" "She just wants to play with you. You are a typical repressed middle class: wearing black socks, taking the subway, complacent about grabbing a seat, and treating the once-a-month shopp-ing as spiritual cleansing. She knowsLet’s say you spend half a year thinking about which manufacturer’s air conditioner to buy, and you spend a year planning a three-day trip to Thailand.She knows you sinfully skip breakfast for three days after eating a chocolate, join the gym but never have time to go.She knows you crave adventure, excitement, and dangerous sex games.She loves you to liberate you, and she sees dating you as a revolution, a proof. "Stop talking, you're just jealous." "Well, even if we don't care about her motives, don't you care what other people think of you?" ""I do not care.Woody Allen's wife is not younger than him. ’ ‘Woody Allen is the artist and you are the bank manager. Zhang Bao threw me away and walked into the distance, with a firm attitude as if Sun Yat-sen, the father of the nation, wanted to overthrow the Qing court. How can I save my friend? How can I convince him that tap water can also kill?

"486" Last week I found out that Zhang Bao fell in love with a college girl, and I advised him that it was a fruitless relationship.He wouldn't listen, so I decided to go straight to the girl. I walked to the Anna Sui counter where she worked, and was awed by her youthful beauty.She was dressed like Emperor Guangxu's concubine, with lips as red as fresh strawberries. "Miss, can I have a look at that eyeshadow?" She tried the eyeshadow in the mirror, completely ignoring my presence. "Miss—" "I won't leave him!" "What did you say?" "You are Zhang Bao's friend, and you want to persuade me to leave Zhang Bao... I have seen your graduation photos." After finishing speaking, she Change shifts with colleagues and head for the food court in the basement of the department store.I chased all the way and sat down at her table.

"You are not suitable, he is old enough to be your father." "I love him, age is not a problem." "Little sister, trust me, age is always a problem. Your lives have no intersection at all. He likes Marlon Brando's Movies, to you Marlon Brando is just the reason why people have to lose weight. He likes the song of Air Supply, and to you Air Supply is just a procedure of making love. He likes Yu Guangzhong's four rhymes of nostalgia, your nostalgia is two days I didn’t go to the East District of Taipei. The jacket he wears costs one hundred and one, and your clothes are all agnes b. He likes to eat the big braised noodles on Taoyuan Street, and you only drink fruit-flavored mineral water. He likes to assemble airplane models from World War II , your interest in machinery is limited to Nokia's new mobile phones. He has all the money left to buy mutual funds, and your salary is all spent on Hello Kitty. His idol is the self-made Wang Yongqing, and your idol is the blond boy SAR .When he was on vacation, he accompanied his mother to visit relatives in mainland China. The only chance for you to talk to your mother is when the rent is due. What he walks on the street every night is looking for LOVE, and what you walk on the street every night is looking for BCBG. He Like Arbor Day, few people remember the reason for its existence, and no one takes it seriously. You are like Christmas Eve, which is obviously a holy time, but carnival and indulgence take advantage of it. His goal in life is—” “You Why aren't you wearing a hard hat?" "Hard hat?" "Yeah, you see us so easily because you're insecure. I don't like Hello Kitty, and I don't like Boys in D.C. Fyodor Dostoevsky. I am trying to save money now and hope to buy my first camera in a year. In two years I am going to shoot landscapes of Tibet and Antarctica, and in three years I am going to the School of Visual Arts in New York Take a degree in photography. Of course it doesn’t mean anything to you, in your world, it’s all done by people who don’t do their homework well.” I’m really surprised when you have that face and figure, Usually you don't have to plan anything other than the weekend. "Great, then you should pursue your ideals, why bother to be distracted by love?" "Distracted? You are twice as old as I am, and you don't know half as much about love as I do. For you, love is The words running across the screen of the fourth program are a kind of distraction, not the main body. It is a kind of additional information, not the finale. It is a kind of adjustment, you can choose the place and date of use. It is a kind of exercise, program Complicated but without flesh and blood. A kind of drip, flowing slowly without violent reactions. A kind of diary, suitable for recalling but not fulfilling. You sit at home, read a few Jane Austen, rent two French movies , think I know love, you know shit! Let me tell you what love is. Love is an impromptu drama, the lines are not smooth but full of surprises. Love is a heavy rain, come and go in a hurry and you have no room to escape. Love Like "Saving Private Ryan", life and death are not based on skills but luck. Love is like a car accident, which happens in an instant and cannot be traced. Love is like a gastroscope, painful but complete. Love is like this..." She took He took out a pill and put it in front of my eyes, "Do you know what 486 is?" "An old microprocessor?" She swallowed the pill, "RU486 is an oral abortion pill." I opened my eyes wide, and she drank water to wash it down Next, I immediately caught the handle, "It's a shame that you have the nerve to tell me what love is, you and Zhang Bao are just sex!" She stood up and walked away disdainfully, and I followed, she said: "You didn't understand me at all. Words. I’ve already told you that love can’t be prepared or anticipated, and sex is of course the same. Do you think sex and love are two things that happen in a fixed order, like you have to peel a lychee first? It must be 97 before Windows 98? Sex like that is nothing but a flag-raising ceremony. True love and sex are the same thing, like a basketball, it just depends on which angle you look at from the front and back.” Although I knew she was making strong words, I didn’t know how to fight back , I resorted to the last trick, "Zhang Bao already has a girlfriend!" She stopped, "Who is it?" "She...she...she is a colleague of his bank, she is a protein girl." She smiled, "Another MBA? Huh, I know this type of woman, typical middle class, who gets her credit card bills and pays off immediately, and started waiting for three consecutive days of vacation half a year ago. Started Ellie's Whimsical World again for TVBS I was so happy that I read EQ books all day long but never touched a man's beard. The only joy at work is to forward jokes to strangers, and sing the same song at KTV after work. Will Zhang Bao fall in love with her? I don't believe it!" I not only Instead of persuading her to leave Zhang Bao, her words made me doubt my relationship with Protein.Is protein really so bland?Am I really so lazy about love?She is pursuing passion and romance, I just want long-term peace and stability?Zhang Bao is liberated, what about me?

"Ten Percent Flesh" Last week I went to see Zhang Bao's college girlfriend, she was full of vitality, not only made me no longer object to their relationship, but also made me start to wonder if my protein girl was too perfect and lacked popularity. "The angels in the movies don't all voluntarily go down to earth to experience joy, sorrow, sorrow, life, old age, sickness and death, because that's what is called real life. Protein is an angel who remains in heaven, always smiling, always good-tempered, always sorry, and always remember to take vitamin C I feel like I'm acting when I'm with her, and my life is completely bottomless." Zhang Bao said: "I don't know what you are talking about, I only know that she is a good girl, if you fail her, you can go to hell." I Decided to ask protein out to bring out her hideous humanity.To piss her off, I told her I was setting up Laserhead.She actually fell into my arms, her eyes narrowed into a thin line, "Between you and the laser head, I will always choose you." "Why? I'm thin, short, and not handsome, and I can never pay my credit card bill." " "You have a sense of humor." "Me? My favorite movie is Bergman's "The Seventh Seal." Watching "Halah Mary" is like watching "Saving Private Ryan." "I There is only one reason to love you: because you are you!" In an instant, the heaven opened wide, and the warm sun shone down.When you've been rejected for years, you slowly forget how to write the word love.You come to believe that love is the privilege of nobility, and that you were born poor.You begin to believe that love is a kind of business, and there are conditions and prices for transactions.You no longer believe in yourself, only in the funds you hold.You work hard to make money and become famous, and your social status accumulates bit by bit.You seem to be saying: It's okay if you don't love me, you can love what I have.You no longer remember the summer years ago when the girl from the class next door pretended to ask you math problems, when your pimples were endless like numbers and you were 54th in the class.You no longer remember that you once crammed into a small room with more than 200 people for tutoring, and that girl from Zhongshan suddenly turned to look at you. After class, her friend came to ask your friend to invite you to their school to watch "Gandhi".You don't remember that love used to be unconditional, illogical, and idealistic.I love you because you are you.

I approach protein with a grateful heart.She unbuttons me and I take off her glasses.She puts away my pen and I turn off her phone.She undoes my belt and I reach for her... "And then?" Zhang Bao asked the next day. "Then I found that I couldn't continue." "Why?" "Because she is a saint!" "What about the saint?" "She is gentle, kind, virtuous and dignified. Full of respect, wanting to salute her in the middle of the kiss. I can't have intimacy with the object of my admiration!" "Why?" "Because she's so divine! When I was with protein last night, I felt like I was at a flag-raising ceremony, Everything is so pure and righteous, I don't have any erotic emotions at all." "You need to see a psychologist. According to your theory, only serial killers are ideal lovers." "Maybe not to the extent of serial killers, but at least not She can be a good girl who follows the rules." Zhang Bao wanted to refute, but I said, "Think about the Anna Sui you like..." He was speechless.

"So I said, sex is 100 percent mental..." We simultaneously recalled the few experiences we had, and I automatically corrected, "Well, maybe 10 percent physical." The next day Protein called Me, I didn't reply.She called for another three days, and I told myself that I was very tired from working overtime. "You idiot!" Zhang Bao scolded me. "Protein grew up under Taiwan's education system, so of course it can't be as bold and unrestrained as women in Tang Dynasty. They can't grow their hair in high school, and they have to go home before 10 o'clock in college. Holding hands is a test." You are pregnant, kissing is about to get married. But because she is so innocent, there are infinite possibilities to love her. Your love can be like English on the air, learning new words and sentences every day. To understand the safe period, you need to take out the computer, and to find the erogenous zone takes an hour. Week. Your love can keep making sequels, and each episode has something new." "You also make sense. God, I am confused, I don't know what is wrong with me." "Your problems are very common, you Like a lot of men: Bitch!" His words woke me up directly!Yes, women are complex animals and men are pigs.What we strive for with all our heart, we lose it when we get it.Feelings that you no longer have, suddenly turn to gold.Yes, feelings that I no longer have...

Immediately I called protein. Her mother said she went out with her boyfriend... "Isa Asimov" Last week, the protein girl I didn't cherish became someone else's girlfriend. In order to anesthetize myself, Zhang Bao and I ran to the biggest dance hall in Taipei. As soon as I walked in, Isa Asimov happened. ""Isa Asimov"?" Zhang Bao asked. "Isa Asimov is an American science fiction writer. He has a short story called "Night" about a distant planet where the stars appear only once in 1,000 years. When they appear, the scenery is so beautiful that the entire planet People are going crazy..." I said, pointing to the woman next to the bar with a figure like the Big Dipper, "That's a star that only appears once in 1,000 years!" Zhang Bao shook his head and smiled, "What is 30 times 9? ?” “270.” “You can catch her, just like your chances of living to 270.” We looked at a beautiful woman.Alas, beauty, what a poor word, as if calling a whale a fish is illogical and just highlights our lack of imagination.She stood there alone, a galaxy unto itself.A group of men surrounded her like a satellite.She is indifferent, and no one dares to go up, as if she knows that her atmosphere is short of oxygen.She has a good figure, and no one dares to look at her more, for fear that her pants will suddenly become too small to wear.Her lips glow like a beacon of inducement.Her legs are long, suitable for emergency landing.

"She doesn't belong to the same league as us," Zhang Bao said. "League?" "Every professional sport has a league. Teams with the same strength or close geographical location are in the same league. Love is also in the same league. Do you want to know Xiao Qiang? Of course I do, but one of her clothes is worth a year of ours rent, so she is not in the same league as us. The woman next to the bar is not only in a different league from us, she is in a different sport from us at all!" "My love can fly over the league!" "Your love can't even climb This is the reason why you can’t get a girlfriend. You are overwhelmed, and your energy is spent on unnecessary expectations and sadness. Fantasizing about those women who are out of reach, your heart will hurt like being bitten by a dog. You have to believe , those women are not rejecting you, but your class." "Just tell me once and for all, which women do not belong to the same alliance as us." A woman with the title of "President", a woman with an office above the 20th floor, a woman who uses the word "Project" to describe the work at hand, a woman who is obsessed with financial leverage or other large leverage, who understands "Taiwan stock futures index" and "yield rate" "What the hell is a woman, a woman who knows more Italian than English, a woman whose hair is dyed reddish-brown, a woman who goes to Hong Kong more often than Wanhua, a woman who is beautiful because she is serious, an E-PHONE advertisement women in everyday conversations who use words like "dominance", "patriarchy", or "post-colonial discourse", women in black underwear, women with purple sunglasses, women with more than two mirrors in their homes , the woman who has a mobile phone but never turns it on, the woman who has been to Switzerland, the woman who can dance tango with a red rose in her mouth, the woman who plays the flute or the piano, and any woman who knows that S&M does not stand for Sales & Marketing. ""According to what you said, the only woman in the world who is in the same alliance with us is my mother." "Maybe plus Obasan who dumps garbage in our company." "Why are you so unconfident?" I taught Zhang Bao , "At any rate, we also graduated from junior college and went to the American Pheasant University. Although the salary is not high now, at least there are annual leave and labor insurance. Although the woman next to the bar is beautiful, her intelligence may still be in the Le Entente room. She failed the TOEFL listening test , going abroad is usually two weeks instead of two years. She thought Dostoyevsky was a poultry, Tolstoy was a Thai restaurant. She thought Van Gogh was a place, and Cézanne usually used enemas.” "Isn't Van Gogh a place?" "You have to believe: culture makes us temperamental, and education makes us attractive." "Why are you so pedantic?" Zhang Bao said, "This is not the National Taiwan University Alumni Association. What degree did you get? If you go up and strike up a conversation with her, she will not ask about your education, but only look at your Porsche. If you take her home, she will not look at your certificate, but only ask about your bank." "I don't believe it .” After speaking, I was about to walk over.

"You haven't grown at all. You have three thousand weak waters, and you have to drink a tank. You came from a poor and humble background, but you like to put on a show. Don't you remember that we were defeated by high-maintenance women, and we vowed to pursue kindness instead of breasts from now on? You now Going to this volcanic woman again, trying to quench her thirst with her lava. You know she will never roll up her sleeves with you, put together an IKEA, and visit your mom in the hospital after work. You will never ask her Eating meatball soup and 15 yuan omelette makes her happy all morning." "I know our differences, but love can make us one." "You know she can't love you, and you are reluctant to be with you There is only sex and shopping. You will always doubt her motives for loving you, and you will be nervous every day. Your luck will suddenly expire. When she is around you, you don’t allow her to answer the phone, and when she talks about other men, you will It is determined that they have an affair. When she is not around, you feel that she is with other men, and when you go to her house, you will carefully look for male underwear that is not your own. So you push forward step by step, and you must say that she loves you and loves you every day. Half She checks once an hour, and you say "I'll see you off" every day when she gets off work. In the end, she finally couldn't bear the pressure and didn't want to make an enemy of your insecurity." I agree with everything Zhang Bao said, but mine His feet walked towards her step by step.I have a hundred reasons not to strike up a conversation with her, but the only thing I can think of at this point is that she can turn me into a beast.When the stars appeared, the scenery was so beautiful that people all over the planet went crazy.