Chapter 11 The most meaningful life - seven months after the college entrance examination

The most meaningful life - seven months after the college entrance examination During the Spring Festival, I got sick.I lay in bed with a high fever, my body sunk in countless pillows and cushions. One end of my bed is by the window and the other end is facing the door—until today, I didn’t realize how good this position is—this position allows me to lie down and watch my parents come and go through the door.I have never seen a movie screen like this standing upright, and with a white frame - I even know that the width of the frame is 14.5 cm - when decorating the house, Dad Repeatedly stated.

I just need to raise my head a little bit, and then use the friction between my head and the pillow to fix myself in a certain position, and I can see my parents coming and going. props.Sometimes they would stop and talk for a few words, and every once in a while they would stick their heads out of the screen and ask me if I wanted anything, they would even come over to my bed, cover me with a quilt, or give me eat something.I said to myself: Look, this is the interactive movie of the new century, haha! I'm not one to get sick very often, especially not to have a fever for no apparent reason.But this time, I did have a fever for no apparent reason, and it lasted for days—I never knew fevers could last that long.This incident terrified my mother, but I wasn't worried at all.I hugged passionately on the bed, with my cheek against the pillow and a few cushions under my elbows—I watched New Age interactive movies very comfortably in this way, and when I got tired, I started to read books—not moving , neither speak nor write.Still me.

Today is New Year's Eve.Or, New Year's Eve—whatever you want to call it.Because I had a fever, our family couldn't go to my grandparents' house.Mom was pacing up and down the door of my room, making a salad in a large glass bowl, and Dad walked past the door holding a brush aloft, saying, "Now I'm going to clean the bathtub!" Then I turned back again, ran to my room, and put a CD on.I threw the book on the floor and yelled, "Dad, why are you listening to this on my record player again?" Dad waved the brush and said, "What's this called? Mahler! It's Mahler!" Mom walked in , Said to Dad: "She is sick, just be quiet!" Dad drew many arcs in mid-air with a brush, staring and said: "Music will not disturb her. Don't listen to it for a day." Classical music makes people's ears dirty, understand?" After finishing speaking, he ran out to clean the bathtub.

Stretching my arms, I took the phone and placed it on my belly.There is such a thing! I never thought that my father would say such words as "the ears are dirty and the heart is dirty".The father who can say "ears are dirty" is a bit too educated-what? Is this my father? I put both hands on the phone, looking at my mother in a puzzled manner.My mother looked at me and smiled at me, her eyes were crooked, so pretty as hell.I said, "Mom, has he ever said something like that in the past?" She asked, "What?"My mother smiled and said, "I didn't pay much attention. It seems to have been said." She helped me pick up the book.

The phone rings—the first call of the day.I said: "Hello." A said: "Hello, I am Xiangmeicheng." I smiled poorly. A said vigilantly, "What are you doing?" I said, "I know you are Xiangmeicheng. What did you introduce yourself?" A didn't ring.I said hello a few times, and he said shush.Then he said: "Are you listening to classical music? Mahler? Do you have this kind of hobby? I never knew." I exclaimed, "Have you heard it?" He said: "Mahler Why. It was so loud that I woke up even if I died.” I said, “I didn’t listen to it. My dad listened.” “Really?” he said, “Your dad likes Mahler? Next time I’ll Talk to him." I laughed and said, "Crazy!" This guy always says things you don't expect.

I said, "Let me tell you, I discovered a secret today. My father has listened to classical music for so many years, and I only discovered today that he listened to classical music so that his ears would not become dirty." A didn't understand, What are you talking about? I said again: "He told me just now that if you don't listen to classical music for a day, your ears will be dirty." A said: "Really? Your father is very spiritual." I didn't answer him .Some people say that my father is very spiritual, but I really don't know how to answer him.What's more, when my father said things like dirty ears and dirty hearts, I didn't think he was my father at all.

One feels strange to dad once in a while - is this normal? Understandable? And that stranger is now scrubbing my bathtub at home.Is it my father who cleans the bathtub? Is it my father who listens to Mahler? Is it my father who speaks dirty ears? If one of the three must be not my father, then... can I choose? If I can choose, So which one do I choose? I asked A what he was doing these days, and he said nothing.I said: "Have you ever kicked the ball?" He said: "Kicked it. Kicked it once." I said: "What else? Didn't you go out to play?" He said: "No. It's very close Walking around. Never going out. Playing games at home, surfing the Internet. Hehe." His "hehe" is quite interesting.I said, "Alas." He said, "I haven't wished you a happy new year this year." I said, "It's not up yet. At least a few more hours. I'm running a fever." He said loudly, " Ah?!" Then it seemed that I couldn't say anything, paused, and said, "So stupid?" I said, "What do you mean so stupid? What are you talking about!" So the two of us chatted on the phone together. laugh it out.I can imagine him looking at me, putting his hands on the top of my head, the warmth of his palms spread from the scalp to the soles of my feet——"Huh", it seems that even grass has grown under my feet .I actually wish he'd put his hand on the back of my neck—for no reason, probably because he doesn't do it that often.However, I guess, if he is in front of me now, he must put his hand on my forehead... He should know that it is useless to do so, because his palm is so hot, it will always be hotter than my forehead Once and a half.Well, I will tell him in the future.But not today.

I said: "Hey, I lost your home address, please give me another one." He said: "You just need to know the way, what do you want the address for?" I said: "Maybe one day, I will ask How about sending a bad-looking card?" He said oh, and gave the address again.I took out a 4B pencil from the side of the pillow, and wrote his report directly on the wall. Then, I started to ask him if he remembered the spring outing in Hangzhou in our class in the second year of high school.That time, together with B and F, I found a shop selling foreign bubbles (that is, balloons) opposite the West Lake.In fact, what is sold there is not exactly foreign bubbles, it is a gift shop, and there are many, many very beautiful foreign bubbles in it - especially one kind, which is very beautiful, costs more than 20 yuan each, and is specially used For presents: put presents inside, then pump in.But the waiter said that this is not something that humans can blow up. You must bring the gift and let them help you use the machine to pump up the air. A said: "It's a pity." I said: "Yes. That time we ate Angel Ice King first, and then saw the Yangbubble shop. It's really good. Why didn't they open it

How about coming to Shanghai?" A said: "They don't come to Shanghai, we can go to Hangzhou. I said: "Hey, yes, yes!" A has another place to take me to. In fact, the happiest moment is when he promised me where to take me - figured it out At one point, I don't care if he really keeps his promise. A has made me so happy, so A is a very good person, the best person in the world. I said that I copied A's home address directly on the wall-yes, I am very used to writing on the wall beside the bed, and I can write whatever comes to mind.Every time my mother helped me dry the bed, she would nagging non-stop.I never knew why writing on walls was such a bad habit.There are all sorts of phone numbers, addresses, bus routes written all over that wall, and Strauss' birthday - June 10th - was told by A, who told me not to Forgot to mark it, but I forgot to ask which Strauss he was.In addition, there is also the "Sister Essay" that I memorized in my third year of high school: "Paper ashes are flying, the wind is wild, my brother is home, and I still look back at you again and again. Alas, alas! Alas!"—Oh, it is so well written, I didn't expect such a good article to be hidden in the textbook.

Sometimes, when I wake up from a dream, if I still remember it, I quickly record it on the wall.But things like dreams are always slowly lost in the records. I don’t know what kind of dream I had after I remembered it—it’s like a seed, after it grows into a tree, it has many branches and leaves. Unnecessary moisture, and it's no longer possible to figure out its truth.My dreams are stacked on top of each other, dark on top of light, new on top of old, on the wall next to my pillow.When I am awake and bored, I visit them and say hello.Hi. For a while, I had to write "Hi" when writing a composition, and I always wrote "Ha" on purpose.In fact, in the kind of composition in high school, there are very few places that need to use "Hi".But it’s not a problem for me, I’m always casual, I can add “Ha I” wherever I like, halfway through a sentence, when I get motivated, I just write “Ha I” casually —I barely realized it myself.My Chinese teacher helped me cross out all the "Ha I", and then gave me a minuscule score.Later, B came to persuade me, telling me to treat myself better and not to do this.But I am so desperate to write argumentative papers every day, I can't help but not to write "Ha I".My Chinese teacher gave me a bad look, and I have been waiting for him to come one day, throw the composition text in my face, and say, you don’t have to write, the same article as W. ——w means feces in Shanghai dialect. Our teachers in the third year of high school all have a habit of saying w: You must not take the same article as w, the same score as w, and the same university as w... Later we all became infected with this We got used to it, and we said: Oh, that teacher? A teacher like w.For a whole year, we just cussed and scolded each other in a friendly way.However, in the end, the Chinese teacher didn't scold my composition, so one day, my problem of writing "Ha I" was cured.

I know I'm very wordy.That's the reason for the fever.If a person is sick, he is lying on the bed, and he is in a happy mood, he will naturally tremble.One day B said to me, we have been in college for half a year, is it not good to be entangled in those high school matters all day long? I thought about it and said, I don’t know—probably not good? B held My hand, smiling.When she said this, she hadn't separated from C yet.Later—it was only two or three days later, I was walking on campus in the morning with my book, Walkman, and pencil case in my arms, and I remembered B’s problem. Suddenly, I seemed to see B’s face very, very clearly, B B's expression, B's movements... I always understand her like this all at once, each time there is a long, humid, dull darkness... It takes a long, long, long, long time, and then suddenly it is dazzling Light up, flash by.I held my book, Walkman and pencil case, stood under a sycamore tree, swayed, and that moment passed.I understand: this is right.I continued to walk towards the classroom, thinking anxiously: B is so pitiful.But I have already forgotten the reason for thinking this way—I have completely forgotten it, but just now I seemed to have fallen from upstairs, because of the free fall, I felt a little wistful in my throat and wanted to say it. I can't tell. I am in college and continue to drift from classroom to classroom.I fall asleep very easily during class, and dream as soon as I fall asleep, even if I sleep for a minute, I can have a dream.After waking up, I recorded those dreams in fragments on the table.My dream drifted between different classrooms and classrooms, one by one on the broken desks, lying docilely beside adult jokes. I fell asleep in the afternoon, and it was evening when I woke up.Mom and Dad seem to be watching TV in their own room, and a host's extremely unpleasant voice comes from the next door.I moved under the covers and let myself lie flat on the bed with my arms outstretched and outstretched.I'd rather Dad listen to classical music than watch a TV gala.As soon as they are bored, they like to watch the party, and the more they watch the party, the more boring they become.Dad also said that if you don’t listen to classical music for a day, your ears will be polluted and your heart will be muddy-the eyes and ears he has cultivated for so many years will disappear after watching a party? What are these people doing? I reached under the pillow, took out the 4B pencil, and began to record the dream I had just had on the wall. I'm sitting next to a person with type O blood.I don't know why I know she's type O, I just do, and I don't know anything about her other than that.Suddenly, I started calling A.I said to him: I was sitting next to that O-type person once—did I tell you about the O-type person? The voice of A said, I did; when he said that, I seemed to see him Sitting across from me, with a phone in hand, I looked seriously into the distance, there was a door (there was a door behind me), and I said, I said it.So I laughed out loud.I went back to the person with blood type O again.She was writing something and I shook her arm.Later, I told A on the phone that she was writing something, and I shook her. A laughed - I saw him Sitting across from me, laughing, he lifts his feet off the ground.He said, there are people like you! Next time I will shake you. A disappeared, I sat next to the person with O blood again, I shook her, she said, I will kill you.I smiled and said, you kill me.I started calling A again.I said, people with type O blood said they wanted to kill me, so I said kill me. A laughed.I went back to the person with blood type O again. She looked at me, stunned, and said: Really... really... I shook her and said, "Please kill me!" A came over and pointed at me. I said, how can people stand you? They are going to get angry.I said no. A said, I will beat you up.I said fart! A said, don't say fart.It's hard to hear, and it's uncomfortable to hear.I said, don't talk fart, I can't live. Then I woke up. A dream just written, always looks so clear, cleanly written on the wall - 4B pencil, very deep, deeper than my love for A. I toss my dear 4B pencil aside.Although it was not the first time that a person with O blood appeared in my dream, I couldn't care about her all of a sudden.Now, I'm going to start counting how many days I've had a high fever.I closed my eyes and clenched my fists... It's been a long time since I did calculations, I have to be serious... The calculation concluded that it was two days.What? Only two days? I feel like I’ve been burning for almost a year—at least four days.Is it only two days? For a long time, I was dizzy - it was all burnt out.long time.I don't know what they did.I had that feeling of going crazy again that I had before.I used to know that there was a deadline, and I knew that after the college entrance examination, everything should be fine, so I read the newspaper, did the questions, asked A and B to persuasion, and cried and cried.Now, I don't know when it will end.It's been that long, and only two days have passed - a long, long time.A long, long time.There is no way to cry.When will I get through this? When will I get everything clear and clean? Maybe I won't have a chance. Last week, A and I were walking on Hongqiao Road one day.We walked from more than 1,500 to more than 1,800.I told him that I felt sorry for Shumei.He said, I think Zhang Lan is also very pitiful.I said, but I couldn't tell the reason why Shu Mei was pitiful.He said, I can't tell the reason why Zhang Lan is so pitiful, so we stopped, hugged on the sidewalk, and then separated quickly.Then I said, I'm going to Monsoon Book Garden. A said yes.Monsoon Book Garden is at South Shaanxi Road Subway Station, so we will go there by car.We all know that it is very far away, but the distance is not a reason not to go.We took No. 69 for No. 94, and finally arrived at Monsoon Book Garden successfully.When I walked into the store, I said, I love Jifeng Book Garden very much. A said, how much love? I said, more powerful than loving you. A said, hey, it's not easy.I walked between the rows of bookshelves that went straight to the ceiling, and looked at them one by one; there were wood carvings and paintings on the walls, one by one, separated by bookshelves.I squatted down and took out a book to read, and A also squatted down and accompanied me, talking sentence by sentence, flipping through the book layer by layer, and from time to time, a bar or two of the music played in the store leaked in.Time and space are stretched infinitely, stretched, long, long, long, bright, extending to both ends.I don't know what was said.Then A whispered in my ear, I found out that I can't help you - nothing at all.I squatted down to look at him, and hurriedly said no—I don’t know why I was so flustered.Immediately, A stood up and pulled me up as well.We embraced between the rows of bookshelves and the wood carvings, and then quickly separated. That was the first time since we were together, A and I hugged without feeling anything. I covered myself in the quilt, thinking back to the day a week ago.I think back, I was holding A, and my arms were hard, as if I were holding a large roll of newspaper.Such a thing, only when you think about it, you will find how sad it is. I sat up on the bed, leaned out to open the window, opened it a little, and sat down on the cushions. The cold air drifted in through the window and fell on my back.I suddenly became happy and refreshed.It was finally cold.The cold silences everything—everything, the house outside the window, the bicycles, the flower beds, the road, the pedestrians, the bus, and myself. At 8:30 in the evening, I took my temperature and found that the fever had subsided.My parents were very happy and told me to sleep on their bed to watch the Spring Festival Gala.I said, I won't go, I'll get dirty ears and heart when I watch a gala.Dad froze for a moment, then laughed.Dad's laughter was hehehe, silly.Mom said, since you don't want to watch TV, go to bed early.After speaking, I turned off the light and closed the door. I thought for a long time, fell asleep for a while, and was awakened by the sound of firecrackers outside the window. B called and we wished each other a happy new year.She said to me, "Well...we went out yesterday." I said, "Who?" She said, "Van. Me and Van." I said, "Oh." She said, "It's fine. That’s right. We’ll talk about it in two days, and the phone is very busy right now.” I said, “Oh.” She said, “That’s it.” The second call is A.The third call was Xiong Xiong from the same dormitory.The fourth call is F.The fifth call is C.The phone calls of Mom and Dad are also inserted in the middle.I only had time to speak, not enough time to think about what to say. Then go back to sleep.Because I slept so much during the day, I woke up much earlier.It was blue all around.I lifted the quilt, turned over and opened the window. I lay on the windowsill and looked down.The cold and soft air outside gently pressed against his cheeks, as if he had forgotten to take in the pillows that had been hanging out on the balcony in the middle of the night.Below is a narrow walkway from building to building—a midnight, blue walkway.Under the white street lights, the cement road is like a silver snake, caught in the shadows of the buildings.There is an atmosphere, similar to December 31 Every day is the same.So I thought of that day...the tennis court that melted like ice...C's face...the crying F...the blue back of B...I can't remember the smell in A's arms-and the past Well, I can smell that smell as long as I change my mind... But now, there is only the residual fragrance of fireworks and firecrackers in the air. I can remember other things... I remember before the winter vacation, I went to bed early one day and woke up at ten o'clock in the evening - because I had a dream about December 31st, so I woke up of.I seem to remember it was January 10th - something like that.In the dark night, I ran out of the dormitory door, wearing a dark blue sweater that A forgot to take back, and shuttled back and forth under the yellow and white streetlights in the alley behind the dormitory, running, running, running, run.Then I ran out and up to the main road.It was a gravel road...maybe it was concrete.In the open space beside the road, someone is playing badminton.And people who play football.On the lawn are people playing cards under the dim light.There are people playing chess, people watching videos, and people hanging out everywhere.And people who don't know what to do—like me. As I ran, I thought back to the day I camped in Forest Park...A's blue suit.I ran until I couldn't run anymore, I was still thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.