Chapter 16 Chapter 7 Panic Wang Haiyan (1)

Chapter 7 Panic Wang Haiyan (1) I looked at the man in front of me—the man lying straight on an old bamboo couch—and he was looking at me, but his eyes were blank with disappointment.The sun at two o'clock in the afternoon was so bright and scorching that my eyelids were almost closing together, but I held on to keep them from closing—I looked at him, at him, at him. For some time now, I've had a little panic lurking inside of me--a small one, really, but one hell of a stubborn one.It occupied my heart and never moved from beginning to end.God knows how much willpower it takes to suppress this panic, I hear it screaming inside of me, I feel it kicking and biting - it's going to grow, it's going to overwhelm me, strip me of everything, I have everything; I know it's a foregone conclusion, and in the end, I will be the loser, but I refuse to admit it—how can I admit that I will lose?How can I admit that I will lose to an inexplicable panic?

How can I admit that I will lose Qin Yu, who I have always cared about, cared about, and loved? I tried my best to suppress this lingering panic, I was like a stone, trying to suppress a grass that came out of the ground-at first, I thought it was an easy task , Who would have thought that in the seeds that wake up after a long sleep, there is actually hidden inexhaustible terrifying energy-I am going to lose, and I will be smashed to pieces by the evil vines; I have won countless times, but the last time, I Understand: the loser must be me. In the sun, I look for him.I suddenly discovered: I have been so inseparable from him all this time, it turns out that I have been supporting myself with a spirit, not going away, not letting go, because I can't leave him——I can't leave him.

I can't leave him—my heart constricted to the point where I lost all my strength in order to shout this sentence, so the budding pain came out from the innermost part of my heart, fresh and cold. I understand that I am losing the love I have worked so hard for - I used to think that I would be able to keep it, I used to think. I thought……