Chapter 96 leisurely leisurely (18)

(Oops! I suddenly spelled out a word: there was a burst of vomiting by the tree, where did the tears blow? It was only a few hundred meters away, and I had no strength at all.) I was just 14 and a half years old, but I saw too much that others could not something to see.I have captured the most subtle things in the human relationship. When others pay New Year's greetings, they never mention me, as if there is no such thing as me.Everything is fleeting, only loved ones are the ones you will never lose, this is the most profound truth. Hu Lancheng wrote in the preface to the second edition of "Mountains and Rivers": At that time, because he was in distress, he felt strangely kind and gentle with people and things.I am a person who stands on the edge of life and death, the edge of good and evil, right and wrong, and understands the boldness and caution that the ancients said is like walking on thin ice. I don't mind and never let go.Some of this can be applied to me as well.

It was not easy at my grandma's house in early October, because I started taking hormones, and I was worried that I would gain weight.Although I didn't gain weight, my whole body system was disordered, and it was impossible to eat, and other things were not much better.The students must be very busy on the "Eleventh" seven days! I lay in bed thinking.Wang Zhao came one day on the "Eleventh" and relished the happy scene that day, saying that Ma Bo really wanted to join Xiao Yun, but in the end it was Wang Zhao who sat with her by himself.I listened with a blank face, Xiao Yun? It was already very far away for me.I was writing "Remembering Wang Zhao" with great interest at the time, and he said that his writing style in the two articles written by me and Xiaoyun recently was far better than mine.

Hey! Tangtang Wang Zhao also picked up his notebook Xiaoyun.Of course, the writing is very good, but it is still full of Wang Zhao's arrogance and condescension.Some recorded places are of great historical value, such as: "I gradually became familiar with her, and often chatted or made some funny jokes with each other. Gradually, I seemed to have a subtle feeling for her: say I like her, but I don't like her." Speaking of friendship, it seems to be higher. It is not pure appreciation, nor pure admiration. Until now, I can't describe it, let alone understand this feeling, I just feel that it is so vivid and complements each other."

It seems that happy times are all the same, and unhappy times each have their own misfortunes. There are a few sentences at the end of the article that rhyme, so I assembled it a little bit and added my own sentences to form a poem: Forget it, don’t miss her, choose what you won’t have.For Xiaoyun, I have given her too much, more than I have given to others, and more than others have given to her.Wang Zhao also wrote in his later articles that he remembered the last sentence of this poem deeply, although he still refused to agree with it on the surface.Later, I used the last sentence as the title of the poem.

From the phone call, I have deeply experienced the pain of the students in the class, but the test results have not improved much compared to the past. Huihui clamored to take vitamins and jump off the building with a parachute on her back. Everyone else was exhausted and had nothing to say.Just like the lyrics of the theme song I wrote in "I Love My Class": When the strong wind whips my face, I will feel a few unspeakable pains Misunderstandings and sarcastic remarks come over me, only a disdainful smile emerges, I don’t know where my future is if I don’t take the exam, I want to be rebellious but I’m afraid of getting lost on my way home Teacher stipulates that students are not allowed to fall in love early, but I have the urge to fall in love

Since I was young, I was ambitious to be a dragon in China, and I became a worm in order to drain my energy for college. Shouting to reduce the burden, who really respects youth in the end, it's all in vain Forget the most beautiful sunset and just bury your head in the pile of books Only after waking up from a blurred dream do I realize that I have lost the eternal rainbow It is not easy for a person to control their own life. The people around me are whipped by the school life and can’t breathe. How can I control it? I asked Tian’er how to live on Eleven? She said, going to the cinema one day Watch the movie "2046", go to the Old Summer Palace one day, go to grandma's house to play for a while, then read by myself, and then study.That's rich! I think.She said that when she was watching a movie in the cinema, she accidentally saw the trailer of "Kung Fu" at the beginning of the credits, and she was very looking forward to it.I told her that when I recovered from my illness, I would go to see it with her.In this way, I slowly enjoyed the pain of groping in the dark.When I was a little better, I stayed at my grandma's house.To me, my grandma's house is like the old opium-filled house that Eileen Chang described all her life in which she lived in her childhood.If I can walk, I go to the alley at the entrance, which is the place I walked thousands of times when I was a child.

The Guchuan report came out, saying that I was MDS-RAS, which is myelodysplastic syndrome and pre-leukemia. On October 12, the cancer hospital invited tumor experts and blood experts to consult together, and finally discussed to transfer me to To the Hematology Department of Xiyuan Hospital.