Chapter 7 Section VI

12 I ended my love affair with a girl from a medical college, but received bad news about the final exam. There is a photocopying shop on campus. Its business is light on normal days and it can barely make ends meet. However, at the end of each semester, its business is extremely hot, and students often line up in long queues to make copies.There are only two things in the school that can cause students to queue up. One is the free distribution of a certain brand of condoms, and the other is the photocopying of materials at the end of the semester.In the copied materials, most of them are notes. Some students who don’t go to class need a complete note in order to know what the teacher said this semester. Fortunately, there will be a few girls in each class who copy the notes very well. Well, it can be used as a reference for other students, otherwise this class will be confused about the content of the teacher's lecture without exception.

The business in the copy room is so booming, it must be inextricably linked with the teachers.First of all, the handwriting is deliberately scribbled in the classroom, so that some students will give up copying notes due to the obscure handwriting, but the handwriting will not be so scribbled that no student can recognize it, otherwise everyone will copy whose notes; The atmosphere became so dull that some students lost interest in the class and stopped showing up, so that when it came time for the final exam, they had to copy their notes.Again, the teacher deliberately wrote a lot of content on the blackboard in order to allow students to copy a few more pages and earn foreign exchange for the copy room.Of course, these things don't happen for no reason.

We have opened seven courses this semester, which are advanced mathematics (referred to as advanced mathematics), English, general chemistry, ideological and moral cultivation of college students (referred to as Da Sixiu), descriptive geometry, Marxist philosophy (referred to as Ma Zhe) and computer science. Practical basis. Some classes are held in large classrooms that can accommodate 100 people. If there are too many people, there will be confusion. No matter who did not go, or read novels or copied homework below, the teacher would have no way of knowing. He only stood alone. Waving chalk on the podium, or spitting fishy fish incomprehensibly.Sometimes there will be a beam of sunlight slanting in through the window, and we can see the teacher's spitting fish flashing like a meteor in this beam of sunlight, falling on the face of a student in the front row, and then everyone will pay attention to it in unison. Focus on that classmate and see how he cleverly avoids the teacher's attention, wipes off the spittle splashed on his face in time, and turns his head to show everyone his pain and disgust for the teacher's lack of hygiene.

While some teachers bring us boredom in class, they also bring us laughter, which is endlessly memorable. The high mathematics teacher is a little old man who is over fifty years old. He wears a corduroy suit and combs his hair every time he goes to class without exception. He is full of pedantry.Once, when he was teaching us the "step-by-step integration method", he used a sample problem as an introduction. This problem cannot be solved by the integration method we have learned before. What to do? Step by step." The classmates burst into laughter, because this sentence became in his mouth: "The dick is coming out, what should I do? Don't worry."

Several girls pretended that they didn't understand, but the slightly curved corners of their mouths and uncontrollable body trembling still proved that they didn't have long hair but short knowledge. The teacher was baffled by the students' wild laughter. He looked back at the blackboard and said to the class, "Yes, the dick must have come out." The ordinary chemistry teacher is a woman whose age cannot be seen. Although wrinkles have covered her old face, her hair is still growing well and is pitch black.Once, she suddenly bent down while she was lecturing, and squatted behind the podium to tie her shoelaces. After a while, a person stood up behind the podium, and we saw a familiar face with a bald head shining in the classroom. When I carefully identified it, I don’t know who said: “Isn’t this our chemistry teacher!” Laughter resounded in the classroom, and the chemistry teacher immediately leaned over to pick up the wig, and put it on his head in a hurry, but he didn’t expect it to be reversed. The face was covered, but the back of the head was still blank, and the laughter in the classroom became even crazier.Since then, we have known the mystery of the outstanding chemistry teacher.

The teacher who is in charge of Da Sixiu's course is the deputy secretary of the school's party committee. He gives vivid lectures and often uses events as his examples.When he mentioned that college students should treat love correctly, he began to quote scriptures and draw inferences, saying: "A few years ago, shortly after a group of freshmen entered the school, a girl gave birth to a baby girl who was not yet full moon in the urinal of the toilet, and then passed out. on the ground." Someone asked curiously: "What happened next?" "Then the girl was fired."

Another asked, "Where's the baby girl?" "It was washed away by that girl." Someone else asked, "Where did you go?" "Flushed down the toilet pipe." I also have a question. I really want to know how he knew that the baby in the urinal was a woman, but before I could ask a question, he told us again: "A few years ago, the school received a report that a girl had mixed into a certain So I led two school security guards to kick open the door of the boys’ dormitory, and caught the rape on the spot. To my surprise, there were two girls in the room, but only one boy.” He added: “ That boy can’t see any excellence, but the two girls are like flowers and jade (fair skin, plump body, these two words must be what the teacher wants to say but can’t say).”

From the teacher's words, I heard his envy for the happy but unlucky boy. The teacher also said: "A few years ago, a boy who was full of longing for the world of the opposite sex was standing on the roof of a dark and windy building with a telescope. He was expelled, and the parents made a quick living. They issued a certificate from the hospital where the student had mental problems, and tried to save their son. The school said that since he had a brain problem, he should not go to school. The parents and their sons hugged each other and cried, but it was too late. So , students, studying this course is to help you establish a correct view of love." The teacher's topic finally returned to the class, otherwise I would think that the messy things he said were so-called love.

Teacher Ma Zhe graduated from the Philosophy Department of Peking University 20 years ago. When he graduated, he had a serious dispute with his teacher because of the view that "matter determines consciousness".He believes that under certain conditions, consciousness can also act on matter, and the teacher said that is idealism.He said that there were many such examples, and the teacher asked him to give one example, so he took out a kitchen knife, and the teacher said what are you going to do.He said, don't be afraid, I'm just proving it to you, so he chopped off his right index finger, and blood flowed on the teacher's desk.The teacher hastily called the school hospital and told them to come and rescue her.He calmly said to the teacher, you have seen it, I don't want this finger, so I chopped it off, this is consciousness determines matter.The teacher was frightened crazy by him.

The moment he was carried on the stretcher, he said to the teacher, you are right, the loss of this finger made me extremely painful, and matter determines consciousness.So now when he is giving us lectures, he always says, "Let me give an example to my classmates", while raising his right hand without an index finger, and stretching out his middle finger (representing an example) to face everyone, as if he is going to fuck someone . The descriptive geometry class is arranged in the afternoon, and the teacher often walks into the classroom with a rice bowl just after lunch.This class is held in a large classroom. In order to allow all students to hear the lecture content, the teacher found a microphone and speakers.Not long after class started, the teacher suddenly hiccupped, and the sound spread to every corner of the classroom through the microphone. After hearing the sound, the students couldn't help covering their noses. Sprayed a lot around myself.

The course of the first semester ended under such circumstances. When I opened the book, I found that I knew nothing, and the final exam was imminent. 13 In the midst of a little girl’s fear of menarche, the final exam came as scheduled. Instead of buying sanitary napkins or washing underwear, I put down my guitar in a panic, picked up my schoolbag and went straight to the classroom. On the way to the classroom, Yang Yang asked me: "What are you going to learn first?" "Learn advanced mathematics first, and take the test the day after tomorrow." "Who taught advanced mathematics?" Yang Yang took a class for a semester, but he didn't know who the teacher was. "It seems like a little old man." When Yang Yang suddenly asked, I also hesitated. "Oh, I remembered, it's the old man with the dick coming out." Yang Yang was a little excited. "Yes, that's him." I was worried, not as happy as Yang Yang. We looked around the entire teaching building, but we couldn't find a place where we could go to self-study.Qi Sixin and Tong Xiaoya were sitting in the corner of a classroom, with a pile of food spread out on the table and a huge thermos pot under their feet. It was unknown whether they were here to study or honeymoon.Zhang Chaofan and others also occupied a corner of a certain classroom, lying on the table conscientiously and tirelessly. I said to Yang Yang: "I don't even have a seat, go back!" Yang Yang said: "Don't go, you come with me." I followed Yang Yang, not knowing how he found a seat. Yang Yang squatted at the door of a classroom and observed it, then threw the schoolbag to me, and said, "Hold it for me, they will give us seats in a while." Then he walked into the classroom swaggeringly, picked up chalk and wrote on the blackboard A few words: "This classroom has a class meeting at 8:00 p.m., thank you for your cooperation." The students in the classroom looked at their watches one after another, muttering curses at Yang Yang, and packing their schoolbags. After a while, the classroom was empty. Yang Yang said triumphantly, "It's awesome!" I said, "I'll beat you when I come back later." Although there is a place to study, we are not in the state of learning. In less than 30 minutes of sitting down, Yang Yang smoked four cigarettes, I went to the toilet three times, and then we managed to read a few books , but was lost in the mood by the noise in the corridor. A bunch of people outside were discussing high mathematics. Some people said that the questions in this exam were too difficult, some said that it was nothing more than the things in the books, and some said that they would not take the exam and had to take a postponed exam.After Yang Yang heard the latter sentence, he suddenly realized, and decided to give up the high math test and take the postponed test. Yang Yang asked me: "Are you still taking the exam?" I said, "Whatever it is, I want to try." "Okay, then I'll go back to the dormitory first." Yang Yang packed his schoolbag and walked out of the classroom lightly. Proof is required for postponing the exam. It can be a sick leave note issued by the school hospital or a family leave note. The teachers of the teaching department will only apply for postponing the exam if they see the proof in black and white. Yang Yang’s current physical condition is extremely good. It is impossible for the hospital to issue a sick leave note to a healthy person. Yang Yang asked me what to do, and I said: “Let your mother call the teacher and say that there is an urgent matter at home and you cannot take the exam.” Yang Yang said: "I don't want my mother to know that I won't take the exam." "Then tell the teacher that your grandfather is sick and needs your care." Yang Yang suddenly patted his thigh and said, "Anyway, my grandpa has been dead for several years, so I said my grandpa just passed away yesterday, and I'm going to attend the funeral." "Here, the recruitment bank, the teacher also has feelings" I don't know where Yang Yang got a black gauze, put it on his arm, and asked me: "How is it?" "It's fine, but you're not sad enough." Yang Yang washed his face again with cold water, didn't wipe it with a towel, but waited for it to dry, then looked in the mirror and brushed his neat hair, and went out in grief.