Chapter 57 The sixth scene is full of flowers and full moon (11)

He said, I finally feel that I am completely old... Nei He never discussed death with me.She doesn't like to talk about life and death, and she seems to be full of vitality.Always on the move and trying, taking the courage to start again and fall again.Don't know to stop.Not afraid of pain and injury.Maybe she thought it was the price.I think she already expected it in her heart.So there is a resignation to death.And I sometimes wake up in the morning with nothing in my mind.This feeling penetrated deeply into the blood and bones, as if the body and consciousness were shattered in the sense of nothingness.I see myself in the mirror.I'm just a middle-aged man who fluctuates in vain desires and hallucinations.

So he decided to go to Medog to visit her.Nearly two years after her death. 9 Because of goodness, your whole being is a huge wound.You cannot be touched.You carry that wound with shame, not being able to accept yourself.You don't love yourself at all.She had told him so.At a certain moment, she was strong, when she stood beside him, like a clear and bright mirror, let him stretch out his hand and touch the lid reflected in the mirror.It was the face of a thirteen-year-old boy, with an indifferent expression, always seemed to be separated from the world, so he was reticent and lonely.When he retracted his hand, he saw himself in the mirror twenty years later.

The face of this middle-aged man, because of his natural appearance and proper maintenance, still looks magnificent.You are so beautiful.good life.You are a good looking man.He was used to growing up in the praise and attention of the opposite sex since he was a child, and walked through their discussions with a cold face, but he didn't like himself in his heart.If appearance is taken as the first element in judging one's own value, a teenager will have low self-esteem.When he received a love letter from a girl in the next class at school, his face was expressionless, but his heart was swollen with embarrassment.

She stood closest to him from the beginning, not allowing him to hesitate.On a sunny afternoon in spring, a strange girl appeared in the class, and the teacher asked her to write her name on the blackboard.She turned around, stretched her arms hard, chose back and forth, and finally wrote three clumsy and naive words in a remote place in the upper left corner of the blackboard: Suneihe.One stroke at a time, serious and persistent.On her wrist he saw a heavy round silver bracelet that rose and fell on her wrist.Turning around again, she was wearing a white shirt, a blue sarong, and a pair of sneakers on her bare feet.Thick twisted long braids dragged across her chest.Bright eyes.

At that moment, he was sitting in the last row under the podium.Fiddled with a pen in his hand, he casually looked at the slightly reserved girl in front of him.It never occurred to him that this man's life would always be marching alongside him.until the end.It was as if her soul was a part split from his body.As if they never left. Thirteen-year-old Sun Neihe, even after another twenty years, will still look the same.He knew that what he saw before her reincarnation would be the same as her after reincarnation.Her constancy lies in the matter of which her body and soul are made, the matter which he cannot comprehend but which is within reach.He touched her temperature, reached in, and passed through.These warm and translucent gums stretch freely, but can never be mastered.They seemed to be solidified through long unknown tears and nostalgia, and finally cooled and formed into a clear and bright mirror, allowing her to stand opposite him.He reached out and touched it.See him with her.

She is always the same.His youth and his old age are divided into two parts.They stood shoulder to shoulder, looking straight ahead as they looked at each other.This is the gesture they use to forget and remember after passing through decades of silent time. 10 The last part of the journey is over the Galongla Snow Mountain.All the way along the footprints stepped on the thick snow, the rocks are steep and slippery.The snow and sand slide slowly on one side, as if an avalanche is about to come.But the journey of more than ten days without any surprises has made them not surprised.Stay in it and watch what happens.The higher the altitude, the harder it is to breathe.The reflection of the heavy snow made the eyes blurred and sore.When they arrived at the mountain pass at the top of the peak, they saw a dilapidated prayer flag with prayers inserted there.On the back of the mountain, there is a vast snow-covered slope valley illuminated by the sun.A wide and flat road is spread underneath.There you can catch a ride to Bomi.

The central square of Bomi is sunny.They got out of the car with worn-out and bulky backpacks, and were watched by passers-by.They seem to have just parachuted here from another world, facing the busy street a little nervously and clumsily.Wet and tattered galoshes, baggy leggings, and mud-covered windbreakers and trousers.His face was dark and dusty.No one could have imagined that they had just climbed down the snow mountain two hours ago.Walk over the brink of death and land safely.All dangers and difficulties have disappeared.In the convenient and lively county town.There are cars around, food around, people around.With all the hustle and bustle of worldly smells and sounds.

The first thing she did was to buy a pair of black cloth shoes for five yuan at a roadside stall.Handmade thick cotton bottom, dry and clean interlayer.On the side of the road, she took off the leggings layer by layer, took off the military rubber shoes and the plastic bag wrapped around the socks to prevent the penetration of snow and water, took off the socks, and threw all the dirty shoes and socks into the garbage on the roadside. .Then she put on the new cloth shoes barefoot.The wound on the ankle has converged, and the red scar is abrupt and swollen.They reached the end of the whole journey: walking out of the isolated Grand Canyon and returning to the world.She looked up at him, and the two had mixed feelings.There was silence for a moment.

The minibus bound for Lhasa travels at night.At 11 o'clock in the middle of the night, I crossed the Mira Pass, which is nearly 6,000 meters above sea level.The long mountain road, illuminated only by two beams of car lights, twists and turns like there is no end.In the night sky outside the window, the stars are bright and low.They sat in the last row, surrounded by crowded luggage.Cannot move body.The air in the compartment was hot and stale.She put her head on the backpack and fell asleep with difficulty.Under the torment of lack of oxygen, his whole body was hot and dry, and he had a splitting headache.She woke up and saw the man beside her crying.

The restrained man who had been depressed all the time, had a soft sob in his throat, which gradually turned into the painful cry that had been suppressed for a long time these days.On the way out of Medog, he was as calm and calm as when he entered.Not a single tear was shed.It seemed that he was just following his rational direction to reach that place and fulfill his promise.That's all.His inner emotions are not open to others. She got up in the dark, fighting back her headache and discomfort, and stroked his face.His face was full of tears, he didn't hide his fragility, and he wasn't in any embarrassment.Maybe once in his life there was a woman who could shed tears relatively unscrupulously, and he had safe memories, even though she had disappeared.

Touching the warm, shining tears with her fingers, she took his head and took him into her arms.A bumpy long-distance bus at night.The journey is over.She didn't know how to comfort him.Maybe he doesn't need any comfort.Perhaps he had found the deepest and most complete consolation.It will always be their own thing.They are about to go their separate ways. She hugged the man who was shaking slightly while crying, and said softly, I just want to know where you are going in the future.good life.