Chapter 46 Race 5 tightrope walking (10)

Accompany her home first.When she met her uncle and aunt, she was respectful and docile, and hugged them.After experiencing the coldness of the world outside, I have been able to understand the price my family has paid, which was beyond my comprehension and understanding in my rebellious youth, and I feel grateful in my heart.Gossiping with elderly family members and leaving them some money.This is the only return that can be done.In addition, emotionally, she has always been a lonely person.Want to love others, but can't find the right channel.Isolate myself for too long.I am used to wandering in a foreign land alone.Nostalgic here, will not come back.

Drive to the tumor hospital where the art teacher is.The car was parked in the hospital parking lot, and she was silent when she got out of the car.Together they walked down the corridor and up the stairs.Her footsteps were slightly hesitant, and her expression began to be cramped, as if there was pressure in her heart.Field work and life experience abroad have gradually transformed her into a mature woman with strength, at least in appearance.But at this moment, the girl in memory is forced to come and get her back.That weak and paranoid young girl.She had lost her first wild courage, and was therefore afraid of herself.

He patted her on the back lightly and said, you can say goodbye to him after you say hello.No need to do anything for him.You owe him nothing.Even if there is, it is the price paid for each other and should be borne by each other. They went to the oncology department.In the long and narrow corridor, the fluorescent lights are pale and cold, people are coming and going, and the air is turbid.There are several wire makeshift beds in the corridor, where critically ill patients live.The art teacher has been down for a long time, poor and sick, and cannot live in a formal hospital bed in the room.His wife and children are not around, only a few neighbors and relatives and friends came to take care of him.Those who accompanied the bed went back to eat that day, and only one hospital nurse sat at the end of the bed.The man in this disease was lying on a simple wire bed surrounded by instruments and oxygen tubes, and he was in a dying state.

She walked over slowly, approaching him.He lay there with his shaved head, his face sallow, half asleep, his eyes slightly open.The oxygen tube was pasted in the middle of the person, breathing heavily.The original tall and straight figure shrunk a circle, and the whole person seemed to have been drained of all juice and will, leaving only a decayed skin.He felt someone beside him, his dry lips moved, and a moan came from his throat.She clearly heard the pronunciation of water, soaked the mineral water with cotton gauze, pressed it gently on his lips, and let him lick the cold water. She looked at him and spoke to him.She said, teacher, I am Nei He.I'm here.

He looked at her face with vacant eyes, made a vague voice, and whispered, are you back? Nei He. yes.I am back. You stay at home, don't run out again.I'll buy you a chestnut cake.don't cry anymore.His memory went back to when they eloped and lived together in Suzhou, but he automatically filtered out all the ups and downs and pains since then.At that time, she was a wayward girl. Every time she quarreled and cried, she would run out of the house, and when she was tired, she would go home quietly, and Xu Su could be comforted by dessert.At this moment, what he saw was still the girl's face as bright as a camellia.The firework that was the only adventure in his life rose too high and too fast, so when it was extinguished, it was even more sinking.He accepted his fate.

She crouched down next to his pillow and reached out to take his curled fingers.He is fifty years old.Old and haggard, like a sack that has been emptied of food and thrown at the foot of the wall.It was no longer the middle-aged man with a slightly dejected temperament who could easily pick her up and carry her on his shoulders, making her turn her head backwards and scream in surprise.He is old.dying.She put his hand that smelled of medicine on her face and gently rubbed it, sniffing vigorously, as if she wanted to find the scent that belonged to this man that remained deep in her memory.A small soft and bright glow glowed on her face.Time quickly rewinds.All the love is still gurgling and the desire is fresh.

Teacher, she leaned close to his face and said softly, let's start all over again.give me one more chance.She kissed his hand, muttering to herself.This used to be the most determined thing in her youth.And then she was completely destroyed for it.At this moment, she also forgot the price she paid for her growth, and she was tossing and turning in ups and downs.Back to my boyhood again.The need for affection is so humble and real, but it needs the attention and affirmation from another person.But he is a weak middle-aged man who wants to start a new life in a foreign land, struggling around and vulnerable.Age differences and clashing personalities lead to nowhere in the end.Love is so pure and fierce, but it is the most useless, and it is finally broken and shattered in front of reality, which is irreparable.

The man had no strength to respond to any of her words at this time, his lips trembled slightly, and his half-open eyes couldn't hold back and closed.Only the chest rises and falls, and the breath is thick and powerful, like the orderly advance and retreat of the tide, surging.He was using all his strength to support the breath.Tidal breathing.The last breath before dying.Then the tide began to recede, slowly, subside, slowly die down.His taut body was no longer tense.As if in an instant, some kind of power put on wings and flew away from his lingering body. There was a relaxed expression on his face.No shine, no warmth.His heart has stopped.he died.

Nurses rushed over in a hurry, and the doctor on duty looked at his eyelids and shone his pupils with a flashlight.After they pulled out an EKG, they unplugged all the wires surrounding his body and started taking off his hospital gown.She had been standing by the side in panic, and at this moment, she understood the loss she was about to face, and she pounced on him like crazy, tearing at his collar, crying and screaming loudly.The people in the ward, startled by the crying, gathered in the corridor to watch. There was a buzzing in his head, and he felt the scene from the past began to repeat itself.He hugged her hard and dragged her out.But Nei He's strength was astonishing. She pushed him away, stubbornly rolled and crawled and approached the corpse bed, holding on to the man's body, and continued to scream hysterically with her hoarse throat.

I suddenly understood.After realizing that the shadow accumulated in her heart has never been dispelled.He said.She transformed the mode of her own life operation into a clam shell, which secreted mucus, wrapped and wiped away the initial fresh wound with flesh and blood, and finally solidified it into a hard and secret core, carefully hiding it.It was the luminous pearl of the wounded flesh, a physical and emotional part of her.Her whole life will be destined to provide nourishment and vitality for this core.Now, she is a shell that has been scooped up from the deep sea, opened the tight double shell, and dug out the bead core from the soft flesh.She couldn't be whole, the pain was unbearable.

He stepped forward, hugged her head, and slammed her head around his chest.Until she twisted her body because of suffocation, unable to struggle.Finally, the whole body hangs limply on his arms.She lost consciousness.He leaned into her ear and said softly, Nei He, you are already thirty years old.More than ten years have passed.you're old.He is dead.This is reality.