Chapter 5 4

The relationship between Jing and Man has always been cold.Man is the most distant from Jing in the whole family.Ever since Jing was sensible, she knew that Man didn't like her.If she cries, Man will become manic and beat her.So she learned to keep quiet at an early age.But this still didn't satisfy Man.She often looks at Jing and feels resentful.She thinks Jing is ugly and cumbersome.Grandma said that this was because she had paid a huge price for giving birth to Jing.Although these costs are nothing compared to many women, for Man, they are beyond the limit.Jing is the child she didn't expect to come.When he wanted to get rid of the child, she had grown too big silently, sucking tightly in her body like a stubborn parasite.She finally accepted the reality, ended all the struggles, and wholeheartedly hoped that the child would be born soon.

That was probably the most frightening time in Man's life.Her body began to change.It was an intolerable thing for her, and it meant she would grow fat and ugly.She will lose her beauty.And in the world, what could scare and hate her more than losing her beauty?Jing's grandma carefully prepared three meals a day to nourish her body.The expensive food that she couldn't usually eat whetted her appetite, but after she ate it, she would lose her temper and blame Jing's grandma.In her opinion, Jing's grandma did this with ulterior motives, deliberately making her fat so that she could be tied at home.Every time she ate something, she lost her temper, beat things, and yelled at Jing's grandma.Jing's grandma didn't make a sound either, she just wanted to survive until the baby was born.After several months of beating and falling like this, her appetite has been increasing unabated, and her body has indeed become rounder.The plump body finally revealed the secret of her pregnancy that she had been hiding from the song and dance troupe.She was replaced as lead dancer.This is undoubtedly a huge blow to Mann.How much effort she had made to get the position of leading dancer, this was a dream that she had planted when she was a little girl, the first day she came to the song and dance troupe.She vowed to achieve it and began to work hard for it step by step.Including marrying Jing's father, that was one of her efforts for this.But now because of pregnancy, she was replaced so easily.She can only vent these at home, and also vent on food, she continues to overeat.When she was six months pregnant, she was already a lot fatter than before, and the work of the dance troupe was completely suspended, and she was in a state of unemployment.She complained to herself every day with her stomach full, ate delicious food with conflicting moods, and then began to lose her temper at Jing's grandma, cursing the child in her belly.It was at that time that Man hated Jing.

Jing was born in late summer and early autumn.Her birth was another catastrophe for Man.Man is a woman with a small frame, and she encountered trouble when she gave birth to Jing.In order to save the life of mother and child, the doctor decided to have a caesarean section.At that time, Man Shang was awake, and when he heard the caesarean section, he almost passed out.She screamed, struggled, and cried: You can't cut my stomach, you can't do this, I'm a dancer... She thought that she would never be able to stand in the center of the stage like a swan in a crop top , how terrible!She was so emotional that she almost fell off the bed.She started beating her stomach.How she wished that the child in her belly would rot in her blood and bone marrow like a rotten root.That was ten minutes before Jing was born.This little life in the womb listened blindly to the sound of the coming world with her eyes closed. She was full of longing, but what greeted her was not joy and excitement, but a beating and attempted murder.Her mother was going to crush her, crush her.

This scene may have somehow doomed the hatred between them. The doctor gave the mad woman a drug.Her face was still full of resentment, but her body could not move, and she gradually fainted.But she will always hate this little life that is coming step by step.This hatred started the moment before Jing came to this world.After giving birth to Jing, Man didn't take a good look at her.Girl, the nurse told her.She didn't bother to open her eyes to look, with contempt and disgust on the corners of her lips, as if the baby was a piece of waste ripped from her body.Man stretched out his fingers and slowly stroked his stomach.It was wrapped with gauze, and when she pressed it down, it was a hard and numb piece of skin, as if it was not her own.It was a scar that would remain forever, embedded into her skin like a giant winding centipede.Jing is destined to be closely associated with this ugly scar.Man will think of Jing when he sees it, and this hatred will always exist because of the scar.But in any case, Man finally got rid of the image of a potbellied man.She thought that this catastrophe was finally over, and she wanted to restore herself to her most beautiful state as soon as possible.She struggled out of bed and went to the bathroom.She threw herself in front of the big mirror and looked at herself carefully.Dark circles under the eyes, and brown spots on the pale face.Eyebrows haven't been trimmed for a long time, so messy.She caressed her swollen face, it was losing its elasticity and luster, like a ball that deflated unconsciously, it was still struggling to move, but it no longer had the vitality it used to.She burst into tears, not knowing why she had to suffer like this, to endure ugliness and pain, and why she had to give the best part of her life to such a useless thing.She felt that all her essence had been taken away by this new baby, and she was the old body left over from metabolism.

Everyone has their own hole cards and the bottom line for sustaining life and living.For a woman like Man, beauty is her bottom line. Although she also has the advantages of intelligence, these are just things that are used to add icing on the cake after having beauty.So she will naturally hate Jing, even though they are connected by blood, because this has threatened the most important thing in her life.Jing didn't understand these reasons when she was a child, she just knew that her mother was different from others, and it was futile to ask for love from her mother.After Jing grew up, she could finally understand Man a little bit.In other words, Jing also contains the restless factor from Man, so when she grows up, she will naturally understand Man.

She understands her, but still refuses to forgive her.Jing often thinks that forgiveness is only suitable for some people with too bad memory. For a person like her who can take out every memory at any time and hold it until the last drop of water, forgiveness does not exist at all. word. Of course Jing remembered that when she was two years old, she was sleeping on a big bed, and Man left her to go out to dance. She rolled off the bed with a big swelling on her head.Of course Jing remembered that when she was sick at the age of four, Man let her have a high fever, and later gave her medicine under the supervision of her grandmother, but poured beriberi water into her mouth as cough syrup, and her mouth was instantly covered with burning blisters.Jing certainly remembered that when Man was six years old, Man took her to the public bath to take a bath. As usual, Man walked in front with her head held high, and Jing strode behind and even ran to follow.Man Wu walked into the big spring door of the bath, then flung the door back, forgetting that Jing was behind her, the door bounced back heavily, and the iron handle on the door just hit Jing's head, and Venus shot out in front of her eyes. , almost fainted, but Man yelled at her, why don't you look at the road... The women onlookers all said that luckily Jing is still short, if she was taller, the iron handle would hit her on the temple, and she probably wouldn't survive .Of course Jing remembered that when she was seven years old and started elementary school, Man and her father shied away from each other, and neither of them would go to the parent-teacher meeting.Later, when the teacher came to visit her home, Man told the teacher coldly that the child was born with many bad habits and could not be taught well.The teacher was very surprised, and once called Jing to the office and asked carefully and concernedly if she was your stepmother... Jing will never forget that when she was nine years old, she liked her lake blue bottle in a small silver glass bottle so much. She quietly sprinkled a drop of perfume on her wrist, but Man smelled it and beat her fiercely, pulling her arm out of the red mark.This is Ye's mother, who never cooked a meal for her, never gave her a word of praise or praise.Throughout her growing up, she was busy with how to make herself beautiful again and consolidate her beauty, and she was obsessed with how to capture a man's heart and hold it... During the day she went to gymnastics, Shepin dances, dances at night, massages and facials once you have a fortune.She would also dress brightly to play cards with wealthy ladies of status, but she didn't like this activity very much.Because she always needs the attention and admiration of the crowd, and in front of those richly dressed, proud and self-confident women, she will always be in a low position, which makes her unbearable.

However, Man is indeed a stoic woman.She worked tirelessly, with the arrogance and unwillingness to go straight to the sky in her bones, after being defeated by the matter of conceiving Jing, she finally stood up again and became a beautiful and elegant woman again.When Jing was ten years old, Man walked by the entrance of the alley, and the girls around her would cast envious glances.The elementary school classmates who went home with Jing also saw her. They were amazed at the silk sleeveless round skirt with a large hem on Man's body. She was also wearing a white mesh sun hat, like a rare migratory bird suddenly here. Yiji decided to visit this land, and she held her head up high, making even the peacock feel ashamed.Later, Jing told them lightly that the woman was her mother, and none of the girls would believe it.They laughed at her, saying she was crazy to want to be the daughter of a rich family.

The fact that cannot be changed is that Man is Jing's mother, she shed blood for Jing when she gave birth to Jing, and paid the price of an inch and a half scar.So it is destined that Jing owes her something.This kind of debt has existed since Jing was born, and it is imposed on Jing, so Jing must be in a passive position.