Chapter 8 Gino's vault

1) He came back to City B again because of her face.He thought of her face again, in his insurmountable dreamland, her face was like a rippling lake, swinging from far to near.He just stood there, looking at her face like an unwrinkled brocade handkerchief, shining brightly like gold and silver threads.It was like a long road leading to the unknown, unfolding in front of him again.He holds out his hand. He knew the look on that face, even though he tried to ignore it or ignore it.It was an expression asking him for help, and then it turned into a broken confession.In the dream, the purple flowers from the sycamore tree began to float faintly, just like the campus in April, he even saw a thin young bird flying in front of that face like the paper crane she had folded Pass.

He understands more and more that this face has evolved into a background, a background suitable for all dreams.In front of it, there can be campuses, sycamore trees, birds or everything else marked by that time.These are all like plays one after another, staged against the background of that face, so they are destined to be marked with symbols of sadness and help, like the eyes that always lie in front of him, and the desperate opposition of his four eyes. See. She still had the pink face when she was 17 years old, the color of peach blossoms, and the pupils of her eyes were filled with deep amber.She became a little stiff because she had been estranged from him for too long, and said lightly, shouldn't you come and see me?

She ordered again sadly, you have to come back and come and see me. He stood there stiffly, as if he was the boy once again who was excited by the arrival of love.He shed tears because of the love that came only once in his life. 2) The girl Gino found that strange men were staring at her through the moldy green iron fence in the school playground in physical education class.She turned her eyes sideways, then continued the radio exercises, telling herself to stay calm. The third period on Tuesday morning is physical education class, and her class is divided into four rows to practice radio gymnastics on the basketball court.This is the inevitable preparation for the week before the start of the sports meeting every semester. It is repeated every spring and autumn, which makes Gino very tired.Although it was only autumn, the wind began to pierce people like small thorns, which made people very uncomfortable. Gino shook his head and shook off the twigs that fell from the half of the sycamore tree that fell on his head.

She stood in the first row because of her short stature, and because she stood directly facing the physical education teacher, she couldn't be too lazy, or the punishment would be to stay on the playground all afternoon to do exercises.So despite her disgust, she still tried her best to raise her hands and make full movements.When she was doing the seventh round of twisting exercises, she suddenly noticed a man looking directly at him through the iron fence of the playground.In the gaze that flew over like an arrow, she seemed to hear the swishing sound of feathers rubbing against the air.She hesitated for a moment, and the arm that was about to be raised was suspended in the air for a few seconds.She suddenly realized that when she raised her arms, a small part of her waist would be exposed, which made her a little embarrassed.However, she thought again, how could she know that he was looking at her, so many classmates.

But she soon discovered that when the practice was over and the team disbanded, those eyes never left her.She started playing volleyball with the four girls, she pretended to turn her face casually, she saw the man was still standing at the position just now, her eyes passed through, there was no obstacle between them, and then it was like a man under the sun A shadowy spot of light stuck to her body. When the volleyball flew over again, she didn't jump up very hard, because that would reveal a large part of her waist again. She became a little disoriented, and failed to catch the volleyball that flew over several times.Before a few girls started doubting her and complaining, she said that she felt a little dizzy and wanted to take a break.As she spoke, she pointed to her lower abdomen, and the girls knew that she meant that her period was coming.So they all nodded sympathetically.Gino backed away from the circle of girls.She stood there, her eyes immediately looked in the direction of the strange man.The distance between them is very far, and the man's expression cannot be seen clearly at all, and the range of his movements is also negligible.But at that time, Gino was very sure. The man raised one hand, put it on the chest level, and hooked it in the direction of the body, as if signaling her to come over.She was still hesitating in her heart, but one foot was already raised in his direction.

Gino met the man's gaze, his heart was beating violently, and he walked to the iron railing of the basketball court at a much slower pace than usual.She walked over facing him, but she didn't dare to raise her head to look at him.She stopped three to five meters away from him, stood still, raised her head slightly, looked at the man a little confused, as if asking him: Are you asking me to come over? The girl, Gino, was wearing a rose red cardigan with a round doll collar and a fairly ordinary pair of dark blue jeans.She prefers rose red because it will make her original snow-white complexion smoother. Of course, she has no more choices. Except for school uniforms, she has three autumn clothes, and her preference for rose red makes her I have been wearing this rose red sweater almost throughout the autumn, and it is too cold to wear more clothes in it.Because of her short stature, the light snow blue and white sneakers on her feet are a bit like children's shoes, very cute.She combed two small braids that just touched her shoulders, and the rubber bands that tied her hair were also bright rose red.Her head is a bit disproportionately large, and her body is flat and thin, and she has not yet begun to develop. If she is said to be a girl in high school, no one will believe it.

The man looked at her face, as if he wanted to find something familiar from her face.She had a small face with a pointed chin, a slightly high forehead, and deep eye sockets.This gave her a face with very distinct bone layers, almost no flesh, and as pale as vegetables that had been frozen out overnight in the depths of winter.The nose is a bit sunken, covered with a layer of small hazel freckles.If she wrinkled her nose, the little freckles would settle together like a flock of birds.He felt that her face was not familiar, but she looked like an old friend of his. The man didn't talk, although he understood what she meant by approaching, she should be full of tolerant curiosity about him, she wanted to give him a chance to speak to her first.This is an interesting thing, especially for a girl of her age. When she finds a strange man watching her every move with interest not far away, she feels a chilling feeling. The alcohol-like cold liquid was poured into her body, and she felt the excitement of being ignited by a match.

This is autumn in the north.The campus is planted with unremarkable sycamore trees, which are tall and tall, but there is no style at all, and they just routinely wear saffron hair when autumn comes.And this gimmick, like a trick that can no longer be exchanged for the trust and joy of children, can be completely ignored in this season.Gino hadn't really looked deeply into the life she lived before this moment.She felt that it was like a valve that would burst out water when she touched it, and all she could do was look at it calmly, even though she felt that it was disgusting like a cancerous tumor, she did not dare to move it easily it.Relative peace is sometimes very precious.she thought so.But all of this changed when she found this man and walked towards him.In other words, standing here facing a strange man at this moment, with the bustling volleyball court and female companions behind her, she suddenly felt a kind of sadness.

This kind of mourning is like being slapped in the face by something suddenly, but he is not in a hurry to heal the pain, but just stands numbly, thinking about all his pain, and then feels that pain is flying over more and more , rushing over, like bees returning to their nest densely for a while.So I felt sorry for myself, almost crying.Why she did that she didn't know herself.Maybe it's just that she looks too ordinary on too many days, and the days are too ordinary, like a scribbled woman who always forgets to put on light makeup before going out, wasting her days with unkempt hair and disheveled hair.How shameful.She reminded herself over and over that she was at her best age, and she had to make it a little different.

"I don't even have a good dream." She often said to herself mockingly, that kind of despair was like snowflakes flying all over the sky in the cold weather getting into her neck, stinging her with pain one by one. Now she was standing in front of him, three or five meters away, and saw that the man was bearded, his eyes were deep and big with double eyelids, his complexion was dark, and although he was beginning to bald, there were not many wrinkles on his face.This man is over thirty years old, and she can only make a rough estimate like this, because once a man's age exceeds thirty years old, it seems to have crossed the limit of what she can guess, and she can't make a correct assessment at all.The man was wearing a dark green sweater with three buttons missing from the collar, and gray corduroy trousers that were washed.There was muddy water on his leather shoes, because it wasn't raining and there was only asphalt road nearby, the thought that flashed through her mind was that he might be a gardener, in fact, she was a girl full of romance in her bones , the gardener who planted a tidal wave of roses in the garden in the love novel has been turbulent in her little head, and a stranger who appears inadvertently or suddenly leads a good-haired horse The white horse walked towards her with a smile.

And now she was very worried that it was just a misunderstanding—he wasn't looking at her or he didn't have anything to say to her.She guessed that behind her, those female companions had already noticed that she was coming, they must be watching her, and the large and large areas of eyes were already pushing her like huge and powerful palms, so she It is non-refundable.How embarrassing it would be for her to just turn around and go back.She waited, and even began to encourage him with her eyes, making him speak to her. He finally said: Don't you jump horses? Gino froze for a moment.She never thought that he would ask such a sentence.He kept looking at her like this, as if he wanted to speak to her, and gestured for her to come over. Could it be that he just wanted to ask, don't you guys jump horses? Gino's heart suddenly went cold.She bit her lip and said to herself, so what do you want him to say?Gino likes to question himself in many cases—this is a common problem of very lonely and timid people. They are keen to talk to themselves, and find the kind of words that they will never get in reality in the war of words with themselves. The thrill of having the upper hand.Criticizing, questioning, and having nothing to say under pressure, you can make yourself stable and content with the status quo. She was disappointed, but she still answered him very seriously: No, we don't do vaulting in physical education class, we are now practicing radio gymnastics and playing volleyball.she says. As if he had obtained very valuable information, he nodded thoughtfully.Neither of them continued talking.His body standing outside the school's iron fence is crooked, a big strand of wind has penetrated into his buttonless sweater, and the sparse hair on the top of his head that can't cover his scalp looks like circles. Silk, as soon as the wind blows, it flutters like cotton wool.She looked at him, disappointed to the extreme.She thought it was just a very boring man, or even a homeless bum.He just lay on the iron fence in the school playground to watch their physical education class out of curiosity or boredom.He looked at it for so long only because he was in doubt.A good man, probably recalled his middle school days, and the middle school days of the vaulting event, that's all, the so-called long-term staring at her was purely accidental. It occurred to her that, in fact, there was nothing unusual about this morning, and everything would be as usual.Well, she would go to math class after physical education class, and the last English class might be a quiz, and then she would go to the school reception room to have dinner with her father at noon.They went to the small fast food restaurant next door, where the dishes were always very greasy, and the chicken wings that had been fried many times were brownish black, very crispy, and pieces of oil residue would fall off when touched.The egg drop soup with a very small amount of light yellow egg crumbs floating seems to be left over from the day before yesterday.But she didn't make a sound, and she didn't even need to see the food clearly.Just swallow without looking.Her father sat across from her, chewing very loudly. She once suspected that her father was a livestock like a horse in his previous life, so he made a particularly loud sound when chewing, especially vegetables.And he can fall asleep standing up, snoring in deep sleep.She was embarrassed every time her father made a loud chewing noise.She would quietly lower her head and look around at the people. She always felt that the eyes of those people were rushing towards her father, unfriendly, joking, full of sarcasm and disdain.She felt ashamed and wanted to stand up suddenly and rush out of the fast food restaurant.But she never did this, partly because she didn't have the courage, her father is a very vicious person, and she is no exception, if he finds that even his daughter despises him, he will definitely pull her braids , hit her hard on the back of the neck.On the other hand, sometimes she would pity her father in turn. She was the only one who stayed by his side. If even she detested him, what else could he keep?So Gino could only be patient.And patience made Gino's noon time very difficult, and the lunch seemed as long as a century.In fact, it was more than noon time, she clearly felt that every day like this was very difficult.Every afternoon, she goes to class step by step until school is over.After school, she has to go around to the vegetable market outside the school's back wall to buy vegetables, and then go home to cook, and the so-called home of her and her father is just a bungalow behind the school - she is a person who doesn't even have a home. The people who live in this school.It is impossible for Dad to come back. He has to stay in the school's reception room.So she is going to deliver meals to her father. She usually cooks three or two dishes, at least one of which is meat—she is very clear about her father's preference for meat.The finished meal was packed in a polished aluminum lunch box, and then she took out a half bottle of wine on the window sill, holding it in her hand, and walked from the bungalow behind the school to the deserted playground , went all the way to the reception room.She put the meal down for her father and said, I'm going back to do my homework.After her father answered, she could leave.When she turned to close the door, she could already hear her dad's very loud chewing sound. In the evening, if her father is on night shift, she won't come back all night, and she will review her homework by herself. If the time is still early, she will watch TV for a while.There is a small TV at home, which can receive 8 TV stations. She likes to watch adventure programs the most. A large group of well-equipped people set off energetically.Climb a mountain or go diving in the depths of the ocean.How much she envied them, she thought she was going crazy to get out of here.If her father is not on the night shift, he will be back no later than 10:30.Gino had to let him watch the TV, he especially liked sports programs, the more intense he would be, the more excited he would be, and the bit of white wine he drank would suddenly come up from his stomach, so he became very talkative, even loudly Sing.So Gino usually falls asleep to football games, boxing matches and Dad singing. It's Gino's day.Gino could recall it with his eyes closed without thinking.No suspense and any ups and downs. Only today did she realize that she had endured such a day to the extreme.So when a strange man with no intimacy and warmth looked at her, she couldn't suppress her desire.She wished so much that this would be different, even if nothing well-intentioned happened today. She sighed dejectedly, and when she turned to leave, the strange man suddenly asked again: Why don't you do vaulting in physical education class now? She was very wronged in her heart, and she didn't want to pay any more attention to this boring man.She said in a voice almost on the verge of tears: I don't know. But the man suddenly said: Can you come out? Gino had already taken steps to leave him at this time.She suddenly froze.She turned her head and asked him, go out?Now? Yes, the man nodded and said definitely. What did you ask me to do?Her voice was urgent and full of encouragement, as if she had always been a beast imprisoned in an iron cage in a zoo, unwilling to let go of any hope of escaping from this iron prison. He thought for a while and said, let me treat you to ice cream. Two minutes later the girl Gino happily ran across the basketball court like a bird with a fresh flower in its mouth, past her female partners who looked at her in surprise, they must have found out that Gino was chatting with a strange man After a while, she rushed out of the playground regardless of whether she was still in class.When running to the school gate, Gino himself thought it was too crazy.But how happy she was, she couldn't control it, and she had no expectations or suspicions about what was going to happen.She just knew that she was so happy at this moment, even a little proud and elated.It's like a person who has been walking with his shoulders pressed down, finally stretches his body.She couldn't tell who she was performing for, but what was certain was that she felt that everything was like a wonderful drama watched by thousands of people, and she was the leading actress who attracted much attention. She stopped suddenly only when she was running quickly to the school gate.She lowered her body, almost squatting on the ground, and then moved forward step by step. Fortunately, she was small, so the top of her head was lower than the window sill of the reception room.So she escaped from the gate of the school smoothly from under her father's eyelids. Sure enough, the strange man was already standing at the gate waiting for her.He looked too thin from a distance, as if he had been smoking marijuana or had been seriously ill.But for some reason, Gino felt that he was such a rock-solid piece of strength. 3) You looked at me for a long time and called me over just to ask me, do we vault or not?When Gino was sitting on the emerald-colored fresh fruit chair in the coffee shop enjoying a large plate of red bean sorbet, she couldn't help but ask the man sitting opposite her.This coffee shop is located in the small street opposite the school. There are clumps of lemon light green tall grass at the entrance, and the wooden fence is covered with grape champagne-colored flowers. It is as lovely as a small secret manor The world inside produces infinite reverie.She had never tried to sit in a cold drink shop and talk to someone so relaxed and comfortable, so she deliberately slowed down her speech.There was a foreign woman singing in the shop, and the delicate voice of the woman was as cool and refreshing as the ice crumbs on the dessert, as if it would melt when it touched the warm ears. The man asked for a cup of hot milk. At this moment, he was tearing open the sugar packet inserted in the small box on the table, and pouring the soft white sugar into it.Gino rarely sees men adding sugar to milk, and of course Gino rarely sees men other than his father.So she felt very fresh, watching him gulp down the sweet milk with full attention.The man shook his head, brushed off the thin layer of white skin sticking to his lips with his hand, and said: "No, I can ask other questions too."I didn't think about it when I called you over. Gino nodded understandingly.They all fell silent again.This is the first time for Gino to be asked out by a man. She has never had a boyfriend, and even has few male friends.For she seemed to be a rather dull girl, small, with a somewhat vacant eye, not firm nor strong.But this is not the important reason, the important thing is her father.Gino's father is a rough man who guards the gate, and everyone in the class knows this.She vaguely knew that the troublemaker's father had also been a teacher in this school, but was punished for making a mistake.In any case, since Gino was sensible, his father was guarding the school gate like a vicious Arhat.He has a bad temper. He once had disputes with his classmates because they did not get out of the car or spoke loudly, and he even beat them.He was a stubby, fat guy with so much strength that he once broke a boy's arm in a fight.The school almost dismissed her father, but in the end it was because he had served the school for most of his life.But since then everyone knows that the vicious gatekeeper is Gino's father.So who dares to come together with Gino?What a dangerous thing that is. Sometimes Gino felt that her father was a big gloomy wall that enclosed her tightly. She was completely isolated and could not even ask for help, so she gradually lost her words and became a child in the eyes of boys. A little boring girl. "Anyway, I don't expect anyone to love me and save me." She told herself this way.She can always speak in an unruly tone and make herself speechless, so that even the most boring life can continue to creak like a clumsy old spinning wheel Turn up.But on this day, she realized how much she really hoped for a man to appear, even if it was just to treat her to a piece of ice cream like now, to symbolically take her away from the school that she could hardly get out of. "But you must have a purpose for appearing here." Gino suddenly said with certainty.She eats slowly, and her sweet tooth is rarely really satisfied, so at times like this she feels she should slow down and pamper herself.In fact, she didn't care at all why the man appeared, she just didn't want a topic to enliven and enliven the surrounding atmosphere like dust flying in the air. "Well, there is really nothing definite. I used to study in this school." The man suddenly felt a little uneasy when she said this, and explained very seriously.Gino raised his head and looked at the man's face. If he was over 30 years old, he must have studied here at least ten years ago. "You haven't been back for a long time?" "Well, about fifteen years," he said. "My God, it's been fifteen years, and you moved to a city far away from here?" Gino asked in surprise. "Yeah." He replied. "Seeing it now, isn't it very emotional?" Gino guessed according to his expression, but she couldn't understand it. She just wanted to leave as soon as possible for this kind of nostalgia for this school. The heavy tail that dragged her away in dreams. "It's not a big change." The man thought for a while and made a very objective evaluation. "Well, fifteen years ago," Gino thought for a moment, "my dad was in school at that time, have you met him?" she asked. "What does he do?" At this time, the sun was at its best in the morning, and the entire cold drink shop was covered with golden sand-like sunlight.The man leaned lazily on the back of the chair, looked at her kindly, and asked leisurely. "He—he seems to have been a teacher too." But she suddenly felt that talking about her father was not such a glorious thing at all.The man nodded and didn't continue to ask. After a while, he murmured again: "At that time, our physical education class was vaulting." He mentioned vaulting again. "Really? But I seem to have never seen that thing in this school." Gino said, she felt that this man had an unusual attachment to vaulting horses. The man nodded, and continued with great interest: "At that time, we had a group of boys and a group of girls. They formed a semicircle. Whoever had his turn to jump walked to the front of the running line, ran up, and then jumped. " Gino nodded. "Girls don't dare to jump. The teacher has to support them and grab them when they jump." The man continued, looking a little excited. Gino nodded again.She really didn't understand what was so interesting about this sport, it was worth reminiscing about it over and over again.But she also felt that this man was especially emotional when he was wallowing in the memories of the sport.Because of his emotion, he showed a naivety that was not commensurate with his age. "That's it, run up, run, run, and then start to jump about one meter away, put your hands on it, and fly over with a whiz." The man is like a physical education teacher explaining the movements to the students, earnestly Say each decomposition action.When he said that, his two hands were still gesticulating, smoothly drawing a semi-circular arc in the air.Seeing him looking at himself, Gino nodded again, expressing that he understood and learned. At this time, Gino heard the cover of the electronic watch on the man's wrist snapped up, and then squeaked.Only then did she notice that the man was wearing an outdated cartoon electronic watch that was popular among children more than ten years ago.The electronic watch has a watch cover made of cartoon animal patterns. The plastic paint on the watch cover has basically been polished, and now it is impossible to tell what kind of animal it is.The black plastic case is like a clam with its mouth open, and is tied layer by layer with turbid transparent tape to prevent it from falling apart immediately.The watch strap was also broken, like a fish that was cut and cracked and was waiting to be cooked, lying limply on his wrist.Hearing the ringing of the watch, the man calmly pressed the protruding button on the side of the electronic watch, closed the cover, and said to Gino with a smile: "At nine fifty, physical education class is over." Gino was a little surprised at his sensitivity to the closing time of physical education get out of class.But she was more surprised by his smile.He has been very serious since his appearance until now, even slightly sad.And his smile came very abruptly, but it was as pure as an ignorant boy. Although Gino had intentionally slowed down, the red bean snow smoothie was still finished.Gino was worried that the man had proposed to leave.She doesn't want to go back at all.Although she didn't think the man had any special charm or was particularly lively and interesting, but in her opinion, he was very cute, even if it was a bit wordy repeating the physical education class and vaulting action over and over again, even if it was a bit ridiculous to wear electronic watch for children.What's more, she also felt a kind of rest and leisure that she had never felt before.That's it, like an adult girl who is welcomed and cared for, sitting in a glass-lit coffee shop at noon in the sun, smiling and speaking softly. So she made a particularly interested look and asked: "Tell me about your past story, I guess you are a person with many stories." In fact, Gino is not sure whether the man had a rich story before, she just watched such a movie, with vicissitudes and a sense of loneliness on her face The man sat opposite the young woman, the whites of his eyes were cloudy and bloodshot that no amount of sleep could drive away.Women want to listen to men's stories, because men seem as fascinating as deep echoing canyons.She said to the man, tell me your old story.So the man began to tell the story, the story was very long and sad, like a brocade handkerchief that could never be finished, gradually weaving the woman into it, and the woman finally became a small flower on the brocade handkerchief, embedded in the man Magnificent life.Gino's heart faintly touched such a beautiful scene, so she imitated the tone of the woman in the movie and asked the man opposite to tell his story. "My story? It's monotonous and will disappoint you." The man said, but his tone was hesitant, and a story was about to be told. "It's okay, just talk about it casually, for example, where and what you were doing before you came here." The man thought for a while, nodded, and agreed to talk about him.Gino called the waitress in the coffee shop, and she ordered a cup of latte coffee. When she heard the coffee machine on the bar buzzing and the man's mournful magnetic voice diffused, she suddenly felt , life is so beautiful, it has never been so beautiful. "Do you often dream?" The man began to tell. "No, almost never." Gino replied, this was indeed something that made her very discouraged and ashamed.She hardly had a dream, not even a vision of a better life, what a sad thing. "Well," the man nodded, "I never dreamed before. I mean, I haven't had any dreams in about fifteen years. The days are like the electrocardiogram of a dead person, a straight line without ripples. " "Well, well, it's like this. Life is the same for me. There is no mystery. I really want to close my eyes and doze off forever." Gino seemed a little excited, and she nodded repeatedly. She felt that the man's analogy was too correct , that's exactly how she feels, days are like a dead man's electrocardiogram.This is exactly the case, but no one has ever communicated with her because of this, and she has never thought about it carefully. Every day is like a whole jujube, which is swallowed by her without any juice leaking out.This was suddenly revealed by the man, and she had mixed feelings. "However," the man said after hearing Gino's echo, "I have recently started to have a lot of dreams. Suddenly, I have a lot of dreams. And the content of the dreams is roughly the same, they all go back to the same time and place in the past Every night when I lie down, I feel like a horse with a bridle. I can't help but have to run in an open field. It's really annoying, and finally I decided to come back and have a look." "Did you dream about this school?" Gino realized that he was dreaming about the school. "Well, yes," said the man. "Then what happened here in your dream?" Gino asked again. "There's nothing but her face." He said softly.The sound was like a mist that was easily overlooked in the early morning, but it diffused faintly, blinding Gino's sight. "Whose face?" Gino looked at him suspiciously, and he seemed to have entered a deep dark cave. Through the mist, she saw that his face was covered with a layer of ice from a large rock. Dust wiped off. "Her," he said. 4) He is well aware that the dream of her face suddenly became clear after the death of his mother.Last week his mother died of lung cancer.Before she died, she suddenly became very unstable.She kept turning on the bed, passing through thick and cloudy dreams, woke up, called him with an astonishingly clear voice, and grabbed his hand vigorously.He knew what she was going to say to him, she wanted him to stay in this city honestly, not to go back to city B, and not to do things he shouldn't.She has been repeating such words for more than ten years, which has made him very tired.He has been patient all the time, and he also knows that he should continue to endure when she was dying, but for some reason, he suddenly became very impatient, even if she was about to die, he could not be moved.He stood quite a distance from her hospital bed, looking at her indifferently.He felt hot, in fact it was already autumn, and he wore very little, but he felt very hot and thirsty.For many hours, he sat on a bench outside the hospital, too excited to fall asleep.At these times it seemed to him that his mother was a great rock between him and sleep.He's stuck now, fidgeting and bumping around.He thought maybe only when she died could he be freed and sleep well. At the last moment, the mother was still calling him, over and over again, her outstretched thin arms wrapped around his arms like vines, and he was pulled in front of her face: "Don't go back." Her voice was a little vicious because of excessive force.Then she caught her breath.The vines drooped silently like slack rubber bands. He felt suddenly relieved. He went home to sort out his mother's belongings.He gathered together everything that belonged to his mother and prepared to burn it.The house suddenly became empty and strange.He looked around the empty house, wondering if this was where he had lived with his mother for fifteen years.How much he hated this house, it was a dark cage, so damp that the memory kept growing green moss. He still remembers the days when he first moved here.When he came, he was brought here by his mother with a washed-out stomach, almost in a coma.He closed his eyes tightly, hoping never to open them again.My mother ordered someone to close the iron gate, installed three locks, and sealed the balcony tightly. The two iron railings were so close that only one hand could be stretched out, and thick screens were used to block the glass outside.There were no knives or any sharp objects at home, not even a razor for him.He was kept in a small room with walls covered in soft cloth.Just a bed and a small round table for eating.He was lying on the bed, hiding under the quilt, hoping not to be exposed to the strong sunlight. His mother was with him all the time.She always moved a chair and sat by his bed, looking straight at him, without any likes or dislikes, joy or anger on her face.By then he had stopped crying.He finally opened his eyes unavoidably.He also looked straight at her.They do nothing but sit opposite each other, sometimes hearing love songs from men with hoarse voices on the bad speakers next door, and sometimes hearing a wailing ambulance passing by in the distant street downstairs .还有他的卡通电子表，作为珍惜的宝贝，他一直带着，他们听到它滴答滴答地响，像个穿破了尘世的木鱼，让他觉醒，让他在这里永远地沉寂下来。直到中午母亲走出去，他能听见上锁的声音——他被反锁在房间里。然后母亲下楼买菜，之后他能听到厨房里烹烹炒炒的声音，直到房门再次打开，母亲端进来几个盘子，里面是熟烂的蔬菜或者肉泥之类的东西，绝对不会出现整条带刺的鱼，因为他曾企图利用锋利鱼骨卡在嗓子口的办法弄死自己。 甚至连餐具也都是塑料的，因为他也曾尝试过用瓷碟子的碎片割腕自杀。在他一次又一次为了争取死亡和母亲做的斗争中，他都以失败告终。而一次又一次，母亲改换着这个家里的一什一物，像是一个通过修筑自己的城池不断强大起来的首领。没有瓷器没有刀具，没有尼龙绳子没有沉重的铁器。她还给他吃药，让他没有力气挣扎反抗或者逃跑。他越来越难以得逞。 他就在这狭促的房间里吃饭睡觉，用痰盂大小便，剩下的时间就是坐着，和母亲面对着面。他们一言不发，房间因为太静，能够听到彼此的呼吸。他的呼吸总是很急促，由此可知他仍旧活在对一些往事的沉湎和深陷中。可是母亲只是冷静肃穆地坐在他的对面，宛然是一尊值得景仰和膜拜的菩萨塑像。然而她又是如此寻常，只等着下一顿饭时间的到来，起身出去做饭。 他若无其事地吃喝发呆，然后伺机自杀，他试过割腕，吃药，撞墙壁，企图跳楼吞咽鱼骨……可是母亲的力量是这样的巨大，她一次又一次挽救了他的生命，她被他手中的刀划伤过，她被他的挣扎踢得伤了踝骨，可是她还是坚强地挽留他。并且她不对他大发脾气，她甚至很少言语。她只是默默地任他折腾，照常地收拾着残局。 day to day.直到很久之后一个大雨初晴的午后，暖和温好的阳光射进来，那一刻的眩目 是他始料不及的。他像是被棒子打醒了。他借晖光端详着母亲的脸。他发现她已经老去了那么多，她曾是优雅而一丝不苟的女子，脑后的髻总是整整齐齐地高高挽着，在固定的位置插上一根绛红色镶满水晶颗粒的簪子。可是现在她的头发很乱，白色的也不算少，搭在她很久没有修过的眉毛上，像是好几季没有人过问的野草。她虽然这么端好静穆地坐着，可是他发现她毫无气力，纵是她努力地挺直身体，亦带着无法扳直的弯度向前倾斜。他觉得她像是个漏洞百出的木偶，牵强地站在台幕前，艰难地应付着，只等着落幕的一刻。她是这样的不可一击。 因着他和母亲上一次激烈的争执，母亲的脚踝受了伤，现在仍旧肿着，曾纤细的小腿上好像忽然结了一个硕大的瘤。应该会是多么疼，可是她从未说过。她宛如一面默无声息的墙壁，一次一次无声地把他狠狠发过来的球挡回去。 倘这不是因为她那么地疼爱着他又是因为什么。 倘这世上除却如此姑息放纵他的她，他还剩的什么。 他张了张嘴。母亲看到了，她立刻站起来，问：是要解手吗？ 他摇了摇头，终于张开嘴。因为太久没有说话，他用力了好几次，嗓子口才有了振动。他说，你以后不用再守着我了，我想通了，不会再寻死了。 母亲的嘴角僵硬地被牵动了一下，她的表情如一个小女孩儿一样地委屈，哀怨地问：是真的吗？ 是，他说。他注意到他那已经迅速衰老的母亲的整个身体都在颤动。他甚至有些担心她因为过于激动而昏过去。 母亲又说：能不能答应妈妈，永远也别离开妈妈，更别再回B城去？ 他想了想，说好。 然后就是十五年。有时候忽然想起，他会对这个数字十分怀疑。十五年应当是多么长的一段时光，可是竟然那么轻易地让他过成了短短的一束，像是嗖的一下，就从他的眼前飞掠过了。而这是确切的，十五年里，他和母亲两个人相依为命地生活在这套房子里，他们之间的话越来越少，最终把日子过成一种简单而机械的重复。母亲找到一份纺织厂女工的工作，每日清早上班，天黑回家，很是辛苦。起先他每日呆在家里，看看电视，买菜，烧他和母亲的饭菜。他想要出去工作来帮母亲，然而那一年他才只有十七岁，母亲始终不同意。直到他过了二十岁的生日，母亲才勉强同意他到街口的小型超市打零工。他做过收银员，仓库保管员。但是他的脑子却因着从前的事明显受到损伤，不能记得一些确切的数字，总是出错。他一次次被辞退。最后他在这做小城的游乐园里找到一份轻闲的工作。游乐园里早年建了一个观景塔，现在因为陈旧而很少有游人登上去游玩。后来游乐园买了一架十分高级的望远镜放在上面，一元钱可以看一次。望远镜的功能强大，一直能看到毗邻的城市。甚至某个居民楼上正在拌嘴的夫妇。于是开始有了游人。他找到的工作就是看管这架昂贵的望远镜，并且对游人收费。他对于这个工作十分满意，因为他在没有游人的时候，自己站在镜前观看，一直可以看到B城去。他坚信，远处那蒙蒙的一片显现着微略的暗红色的，就是B城。 像额头上的一块血斑。he thinks. 他就这样，白日里坐在观景台，懒洋洋地倚着墙壁，眯着眼睛望着那架望远镜。他也会格外好心地让没有钱的小孩子凑上去观看。他现在在一个很高很危险的地方，他望下去看到行人像是仓惶的蚂蚁，然而他却一点跳下去的欲望也没有。他只是知道，他妈妈在等他回家吃饭。 他和母亲，除却母亲上班的时间，都会呆在家里。尝试各种新式的菜肴，收看乏味的电视长剧。生活中始终是他们两个人，除却工作中必须打交道的他的或者母亲的同事，他们没有朋友。他也没有过任何女人，从来不会和女人搭腔。母亲亦没有再嫁，尽管他们刚来到这座城市的时候，母亲还是个不到四十岁的风韵犹在的女人。 恍恍十五年。 转眼他已经三十三岁。有时候就在他倚在观景台的矮墙边上时，这十五年过得如此之快，也许和他连一个梦也没有做过有关。他不知道世界上有没有像他一样活着的人，仿佛生活在一个十分细薄的平面玻璃板上，连一个凹凸显现的梦都没有过。可是他毫无抱怨，只是在母亲死去的时候，他才流露出一种厌倦和疲累之后终于解脱的轻松。然而他旋即又因此深深地感到愧疚。他觉得母亲的恩慈值得他永远不息地去凭吊和怀念。 不过，随后，梦来了。 那个夜晚他第一次一个人在这套房子里睡觉。他感到害怕，却也不敢开着灯，生怕再看到那些堆在房间里的母亲的旧物。直到半夜才渐渐入睡。居然开始做梦。梦就像是厚实的帘子，因为太久没有练习的原因，他感到自己就像笨拙的兽，粗钝地大口喘息着，终于费力地钻进了梦。 那是她的脸。像是水面搅碎的月光一样幽怨地荡漾。渐渐平静之后终于盈满成完整的一个。他不知道是应该害怕还是欢喜这样的梦，可是越来越多的光聚过来，女人的脸已经格外清楚，却仍旧那么地潮湿。他知道，他应当打捞起她，掬捧起她，像是他过去疯狂地爱着她时那样。她开了口，声音却仍是旧样子，小女孩儿那样的清脆。她说，他母亲离开了，她才敢来，进到他的梦里。他不知道她为什么这么说，可是他听到她说话的幽怨，他的心就很疼。疼得像是刚失去爱情时那样。他开始觉得，其实这十五年根本没有长度和质地，他现在仍旧在他的十八岁里，面对着他蓬勃的爱情和那张蓦地跌落的她的脸。 所以，他决定回去，这是十五年前他应当做出的决定。在他料理好母亲的后事后不久，他回到了B城。 5）他把故事说到这里。中午已到，窗外的街道开始忙碌，吉诺看到她的同学骑着自行车回家，他们都没有看到她，他们不会知道她在这里面度过了一个相当奇妙的上午。 她知道她爸爸等不到她去吃午饭，肯定发怒了，也许在到处找她。who cares.she said to herself.她第一次对自己说那么洒脱的一句话，像是成功地发射了第一颗人造卫星一样欢欣鼓舞。她喜欢他的故事，尽管这个故事只是一段，她也好奇故事的全部，却并不焦急，她开始把自己完全放开，让自己沉溺于他的悠长和缓的诉说。她停了一会儿才有些惋惜地说： “你妈妈是个了不起的母亲。” “是的。”他表示同意。 “唔，不过，你到底为了什么事情非得自杀呢？梦里出现的那个，又是谁呢？”吉诺已经猜测到后来进入他的梦的当然是他的爱人，并且她显然已经离他而去。原来这其中还是个哀婉的爱情故事，她想。 他不回答，只问她：“中午到了，你需要回家去了吗？” “不，不，没有人管我的。我想听你说故事呢。”吉诺一听到他说到走，脸色都变了。她其实也不知道自己打算怎么办，她爸爸在找她，她得上课，而这些都不再重要。她成功地跳离了每日每天里机械重复的生活。她现在只是坐在这里，听刚刚认识不超过三个小时的陌生男子说着虚无飘渺的故事，然而她却那么笃定地使自己相信，她从此将过上一种非同寻常的生活。 他微微一笑：“你爸爸会担心你的。” “没事的，你继续说呀，好不好？”她连忙催促，口气竟然有一点像是在撒娇。她内心微微怔了一下。因着这么多年来，她从来没有对谁撒过娇。她的生活中只有父亲一个男子，而他却像是冰山那么坚固冰冷，让她不可靠近。可是现在她竟然可以撒娇，像是所有这么大的女孩一样享受着她们特有的权利。 他显然喜欢她这样，她刚才说话的时候声音略略地发嗲，淡淡粉红色的小腮帮一鼓一鼓的，像是正在迎风盛放的杜鹃花。于是他点点头说： “我们边吃边说吧。” 这个中午，吉诺吃到了生平第一块牛排。牛排放在铁板上，滋滋作响，脆白的洋葱红艳 艳的番茄，还有葡萄酒做得酱汁，她笨拙地刀叉并用，嘴角沾满油渍，一片忙乱。黄橙橙的通心粉，拌着红艳的番茄酱十分诱人。她自己就吃下了那分量十足的一大份。她虽不是一个对食物十分贪恋的人，却也在这个中午显现出一种超乎寻常的激动。她终于不用再和父亲坐在乱哄哄的小快餐店里吃那些难以下咽的食物，她也不用因为对面坐着的那个粗俗男人发出的响亮的咀嚼声感到难为情。她对这一切充满感恩。她的恩人还带着哀婉动人的故事，他又开始了诉说。 6）跳马。他还是要提起跳马。不，不，他其实不是要先说起跳马，他是要说她。可是他一想起她，就会想起跳马。他的梦里，她就一直在奔跑，然后一跃，跳过去。这一幕就像是一卷发了狂的录像带，反反复复地播放着这一段，而她在里面像是一只上了发条的豹子，敏捷地飞跑，然后十分轻盈地一跃而起。他在梦里大声喊她的名字，他请求她停下来。他的脑子里映着她的脸，他亦能看到她愁怨的表情，然而她的腿脚却不止不休。她越跑越快，轻得宛如飘拂的叶片一样无声无息。每一次在腾空的一霎那，他觉得她的身体会骤然哗啦一下，散了架。他甚至怯懦地蒙住了自己的眼睛，只是仍旧大叫她的名字。 他惊醒，知道她从未离开那架跳马。他疑心灵魂并非人们所说的那样，能够顺利地脱离肉身并且飘上天空，顷刻间重获自由。他却觉得这灵魂就像一条软绳一般地，被死死地缠绕在世间的一处，无论如何都无法得以解脱。 他于是决定回来找到那跳马。他觉得他必须，把她的灵魂从上面解下来。 他回到B城。他还没有回到学校，只是在火车刚刚在这个久违的城市停靠的时候，他就感到了扑面而来的她的气息。事实上，她的气息密布了这整座城市的天空。哪里都是她影子，他们的影子。他想起他们曾一起来过火车站。他们计划着私奔，他和她牵着手，也是秋天，不过时节比现在还要晚些，她穿了厚厚的毛衫仍旧瑟瑟发抖。他们在月台边站着，火车隆隆地叫起来，然后像个打着呵欠的响尾蛇一样上路了。他们只是看着，累了就坐下来，她从她的橙子色背包里拎出一罐可乐递给他。她还喜欢在包里放些花花绿绿的小零食，所以如果他们在这里坐得久了，他就会看到她从包里陆续拿出话梅或者草莓软糖这样的零食。他们之间的对话反反复复就是那样的几句： 她问他：“我们走吧，就现在。” “嗯。”他十分坚定地点头。 “我们去一个他们都找不到的地方，自由得像是大森林里的小浣熊！”她说，她每次说的时候所用的比喻都有所不同，可却都是一样的激动，眼睛一直盯着从身前离开的火车，一只手紧紧地抓着他的手。 “好。”他十分诚恳地表示同意。 这是每个黄昏里他们放学后的一段时间。他们喜欢来这里，像对将要私奔的小情人，内心彭湃地站在这里等待着出发。然而又在每一个夜幕降临的时刻，他们照旧骑上单车，他送她回家，然后亲吻她的脸颊，恋恋不舍地说再见。而这在火车站深情的对话仿佛只是他们每天延续着的家家酒游戏。当然在这种不能每时每刻厮守的爱情煎熬令他们都十分痛苦。可是他请她谅解。现在的他，仅仅是个高中生，他没有能力给她什么——他深知这是一个多么需要保护和关爱的女孩，她的父母双双死于车祸，她在舅舅家长大，是个懂事很早，极少给人添麻烦的安静女孩。她的柔弱和身世凄苦令他心疼，并且更加想要好好地照顾她。 所以他很少对她说起他家里的事。他的父亲在他两岁的时候爱上了别的女子，最后决绝地带着那个女子远走高飞了。他和母亲一直是相依为命的，他就是母亲的全部天空。他常常想，倘他真的就这样悄无声息地一走了之，母亲的生活是否还能继续。在遇到她之前，他从未违背过母亲，竭尽全力地读书，一心想着以后能给母亲好一些的生活，让她不再那么辛劳。 可是他无法抗拒她。她盛大而美好，像是他童年时闯进神秘肃穆的天主教堂猛然间抬头看到的眩目的玻璃花窗。是的，他不仅觉得她美，还觉得她带着一丝一丝神圣耀眼的光芒。自她在高二开始时，忐忑羞赧地被老师带进班级，安排在他斜前方的位子上，他就被她耀眼的光芒蒙住了。从他的座位的角度看过去，能够看到她的侧脸，上午的阳光从窗外照进来，打在她的脸上，像花儿一样一片一片花瓣地打开，然后蕊的香气就迎着他漫过来。他怎么能抗拒呢。 像大多数情窦初开的少年一样，他急于向心爱的人表达自己的情感。他来到她的面前，终于有一天。他穿着干净的校服，瘦高和十分白皙的皮肤使他看上去有点诗人或者贵族的气质。他很直接地对她表达了爱意。令他欣喜万分的是，女孩接受了他。他们开始偷偷地相爱，甜蜜而心惊胆战。 那绝对是一份炽热得不能更加烫手的爱情。烧坏了他们的头脑，他们都变得软绵绵的，丧失了斗智，只是想一分钟也不分开地厮守在一起。这份爱情的热烈，使他们没有觉得有什么禁区是不能逾越的，或者说，他们觉得理应毫无保留地彼此拥有。于是他们开始做爱。他们是这样的欢喜彼此的身体，深溺其中无法自拔。他们开始不再去月台眺望远走的火车，不再排演着私奔的二人话剧。他们开始在放学后急匆匆地跑去学校旁边的一间小旅店。那里暗仄潮湿，只有一张床单洗得花花搭搭的双人床。可是这里成了他们最神圣最奇妙的游乐场。 She is pregnant.他才意识到事态的严重性。他想带她去动手术她却是不肯的。她十分坚定地告诉他，她的妈妈在天之灵看到她要拿掉这个孩子一定会很伤心。她想要生下这个孩子。她觉得学业那些于她都不那么重要，而她一心想要保有这个用他们之间炽烈的爱打造的小孩。她的想法令他十分吃惊，然而他却也无法不感动。他知道她从不懦弱，自怨自艾。相反的，她勇敢而义无反顾，从不知悔改。 他觉得他必须和她一起承担，既然她已经这样决定了。他带着她去见他的母亲。他和她坐在一边，母亲独个儿坐在对面，下午的咖啡馆，黑洞洞，生生的冷。他字字恳切内心忐忑地对母亲讲述了他们之间的一切。她坐在他的旁边，把手放在他的双手间，低着头，只是听着他的诉说，一言不发。他的母亲的脸像是一块已经板结的石膏那样的冰冷坚硬。她也一言不发，却死死地盯着坐在儿子身边的女孩。她看起来是那么单薄瘦弱，可是她却有着这样大的力量，她现在要把她的儿子带走。生生地从她的身边，把他拽走。 他说完所有的事，最后请求母亲让他们一起离开。他说他会等她生下孩子之后，寻找新的机会继续念书，他也会在找到工作赚到钱之后回来看望母亲……母亲仍是紧闭双唇死死地盯着那女孩，半天她才对女孩说：请你离开一下，我想单独和我的儿子说话。 女孩有些受惊，站起来惶惶地走出了咖啡馆。 母亲看着他，一字一句地对他说，你不许离开我。你不许像你的父亲一样被判我。所以没有任何可能你带着她走，除非我死掉。让她打掉孩子，从此你们不再来往。 他虽知道母亲一定会十分伤心气恼，可是他却仍旧没想到母亲会是这样的决绝。没有丝毫商量的余地。 The war has begun.他不断地请求母亲，他甚至给她下跪，求她的宽恕。可是却没有丝毫转机，母亲表现出异乎寻常的冷酷，他根本无法动摇她半分。 然而女孩的反应却越来越剧烈，上课的时候呕吐，冲出教室去。他必须带走她，不然迟早会被发现，使她成为全班的笑柄。 他们开始密谋悄悄逃走。但是这的确需要一段时间。他到处凑钱，他先后卖掉了他的网球拍，运动球衣和球鞋。他还借了很多朋友的钱。这时候他已经对母亲很冷漠，早出晚归。他对于母亲的不谅解失望透顶，不再向她恳求什么。 7）“你们顺利逃走了吗？”他突然停了下来，吉诺连忙问。故事已经变得十分激烈，她不能不被后面故事的发展所牵动。她已经十分喜欢眼前的这个男人，他叙述故事绵长哀伤，那份对他的爱人的感情分明地渗透出来，令他变得犹如古希腊神话中将要殉情的王子一般地迷人。 可是他没有立刻把故事说下去。他停顿了一会儿，然后看看窗外，他说：“下午的课已 经开始了。 " “嗯。”吉诺附和道。 “你能带我去学校里面看看吗？”他用了一种她根本无法拒绝的企求的口吻。 “你想看什么呢？”吉诺问。 “我想找到我们那个时候用过的跳马。”他说。 又是跳马。吉诺微微蹙了一下眉，她至今十分困惑跳马到底和他的故事有什么相干。她忍不住问： “到底跳马怎么了？你为什么总是对那东西念念不忘的？” “我会告诉你，现在陪我去找找它，好吗？”他仍旧恳求，迫切得已经从座位上站了起来。 他们离开了咖啡店就像学校走去。吉诺内心有些恐慌，她想如果她爸爸此刻就端坐在传达室里，看到她和一个陌生的男人从外面走进学校，会怎么样。她整个中午都失踪了，却和一个男人在一起，她爸爸看到肯定会要了她的命。 于是在快到学校大门口的时候，她忽然停下来，并对男人说： “你在这里等等，我去看一下。”男人点点头，他从不多问，这令吉诺感到舒服。于是吉诺悄悄地走到传达室的旁边，身体贴着一面墙，慢慢挪到窗户跟前。她把头探上去一点，刚刚能透过玻璃看到里面——没有人。她按捺不住内心的欢喜，冲着他喊： “喂，过来啊。”他于是慢慢向她走来。忽然，吉诺有一种奇怪的感觉，她好像忽然体会到了男人和他的女孩一起跑去火车站想要私奔时候的心情。她一时有些茫然，不知道自己是谁了。她觉得自己是他的那个小情人，那个义无反顾地怀了他的孩子也不后悔的姑娘。他现在向她走过来，他们好似要去做一件十分伟大的事情，他要领着她走，逃开这围困她的鬼地方。啊，多么好。吉诺兴奋的脸上淌下汗水来，她感到自己就像一只放进温暖烤箱的面包，身上都流淌着甜腻的糖蜜。他走过来的时候，她犹豫都没有犹豫，她抓住了他的手。而他好像并没有十分意外，也没有抗拒。 她牵着他的手穿过学校的几座教学楼，操场，然后到了学校的后墙根下。这里依着学校的后墙有一排的平房。敞开的窗户上镶嵌着半块半块参差不齐的玻璃，青色水泥墙上隐约留着小孩子用粉笔画上去的凌乱的涂鸦。四周生满了荒草，秋天里的枯色一片。显然，这里是已经荒废很久。这里因为离她家住的那间小屋不远，所以她比较熟悉。她对他说： “这里有好几个废弃的教室，也许放着从前的体育器材也说不定。我们一个一个进去找找吧。”男人点点头。 他们推开一个又一个教室的门，扑面而来的是浓浓的尘灰味道。蜘蛛网密布，地上有仓惶躲闪的老鼠，而受了惊吓的蝙蝠也嗖的撑起翅膀，迎着他们的脸就飞了出去。吉诺有点害怕地躲到他的身后。他仍旧牵着她的手，向前走几步探着身子把房间里的器材看清楚——他们找到了废旧的乒乓球台，羽毛球排，瘪了的篮球，半截半截的接力棒。 在他们进到倒数第二个教室的时候，他还没有向里面走去，就忽然停住了。他用沙哑低沉的声音，像是在对吉诺说，又像只是对自己说： “它在那里。”这间教室十分空旷，吉诺穿过黑洞洞的房间里浓重的烟尘，看到了那架斜斜地站在教室一角的跳马。她陪着他走过去，拂开一圈一圈缠着它的蜘蛛网。她才看清它的四条铁腿还在，而上面那块皮子包裹的“马背”已经缺失了一半儿，皮子破损，磨光了，露出里面白花花的棉垫和线头。他眼睛一眨不眨地看着它。然后他缓缓地松开握着的吉诺的手，伸过起，很认真地拂去上面的厚厚的土。他又搬起它，两只手像是托着宝贵的贡品一般地把它举到教室的中央。她跟着他走过去。一只手放在它的背上，碰了碰它。他看看她，像是对她带他来这里找到它表示感激。 他不顾地上厚厚的尘土，席地而坐，把背靠在跳马上，开始继续说故事，而她也慢慢地坐在他的身旁，她犹豫了一下，也慢慢地把身体靠在了他的身上。 8）他们一天天的准备，却迟迟没有离开。这中间当然有他没有凑足钱，没有策划好逃跑路线等等客观原因，然而最重要的是，他总是下不了决心。因为他知道他要放弃的是他十几年的努力，他将没有办法进入大学，没有办法实现他所有的梦想。就这样，一直拖到了学期末。 然后终于要提到跳马了。那个学期他们体育测试的项目是跳马。此时她的肚子已经很大，只是因为穿着肥大的衣服，又是冬天，所以不被人察觉。可是她清楚自己是不能跳马的。万一摔倒，后果不堪设想。于是她去请假。她捏造了一个身体不适的请假条，去向体育老师请假。体育老师是个一脸凶相的男人，刚死了女人，脾气暴躁不可捉摸。他没有批准她的请假，他十分严厉地告诉她，必须跳！女孩说，我不要体育成绩了总可以吧。然后她转身离去。 跳马的体育测试就这样过去了。可是忽然在一个下午的自习课上，体育老师来到他们班。点名要女孩出去补考。女孩只好在全班同学的目光下跟着体育老师走出了教室。他坐在位子上，眼睁睁地看着那个恶狠狠的体育老师带走了女孩。他看到女孩在走出教室之前最后一刻抛给他的绝望而恐慌的表情。她会不会跳。跳的话会不会有危险，他的脑子里一遍一遍地翻滚着这些问题。他感到身体里的血液都沸腾了，心疼得好像就要裂开了。 他等在位子上，如坐针毡。他觉得自己就要爆炸了，可能会忽然冲破房顶飞出去。他后悔为什么没有早一点带走她，要让她留下面对这样的事，受这样的苦。 他等着等着，终于等不及了。他倏的从位子上站起来，不顾还在上课，也不顾周围同学诧异的眼光，他冲出了教室。 外面已经是严冬，寒风凛冽。他跑下楼去，直冲操场。他在心里喊着她的名字，从未有过这样的一个时刻，他感到要立刻带走她，如此的迫在眉睫。再慢一点就要来不及了，他脑中一闪而过这样的感觉。 他在操场的外面，隔着铁网已经能够看到她，她站在那里，面前几十米以外是跳马。跳马的旁边是体育老师。通常老师会站在左右扶一下。也就是说，她马上就要跳了。他必须绕到入口的地方才能进入操场。他现在只能眼睁睁地一边跑一边看着她，而她就要跳了。 他大声喊她的名字。叫她不要跳，