Chapter 46 Chapter 2 Never Cried (1)

Marty and Jill sat opposite each other, sharing the same pack of cigarettes.Jill, a rare visitor to Sad Coffee, is still buried in her paperwork.Marty did her a favor, and Jill brought a batch of materials on land reform in Singapore, all in English. Marty sorted out the complicated materials, and rearranged the order according to the key points listed by Jill. Xiaoye stomped over and said lazily: "Marty, there is a guest in front who said he was looking for you. It's a boy." Marty stood up and saw the boy's back, she felt very strange.When he walked up to that person, he recognized that it was Ma Tong, the eldest brother.

Ma Tong was wearing casual clothes, he didn't have a soldier's head cut, but he was very tanned.Ma Tong grinned at her. "Hi, Ma Tong." "Hi, big sister." Marty sat down in front of him, feeling a little apprehensive.This eldest brother is five years behind her, and the relationship between him and her since childhood is inferior to that of Ma Nan.Ma Nan was eleven years younger than her. Although the siblings lacked affection, at least his childish appearance made Marty happy.But Ma Tong has always avoided her, and Marty knows that the time of the most intense conflict between her and her aunt happened to be Ma Tong's adolescence.In his memory, Ma Tong always looked at her secretly with a pair of gloomy eyes, but avoided meeting her eyes.

Now Ma Tong is sitting in front of her, just the two of them, the table is two feet wide, but Marty feels that the distance between them is very far away. "Long time no see." Marty said, "I lived at home for three months a few days ago, and you haven't come home, and I haven't been able to see you." "I know." Ma Tong said, "I didn't go home on purpose." "Oh?" "I know you live in my room, and I know my mother's personality. I think it must be very necessary for you to move back home. If I go back, it must cause you embarrassment. During those three months, I had a holiday. They're all hanging out at friends' houses."

These words melted the ice in Marty's heart, she looked at Ma Tong in front of her, her heart was very warm but also very strange. "Thank you. I'm really touched," Marty said softly. "You don't need to thank me. We are siblings, no matter what emotions we have, we can't change this kinship relationship." Ma Tong picked up the coffee cup in front of him, thought for a long time, and then took a sip with a frown, "To be honest, I never really I have been your younger brother, and you have never been a sister. We were all too naive before, covered up by impulses that we didn’t understand, and when we could be family members, we used them against each other. I remembered later, when you You must be having a hard time, or you wouldn't be pissing off the whole family at every turn. When I think about it, I start to feel sorry for you--I don't mean to be sarcastic, I really sympathize. Man's childhood experiences form his character , You must have suffered a lot from growing up after such a period of childhood. I began to think, how are you doing now?"

"I'm doing well now. Ma Tong, I never thought that you would care about me." "By the way, that's the reaction! Everyone needs family and emotional dependence, but your world is so alienated, as if it has nothing to do with anyone. I think our family has given you a deviant life. I don't want It affects you for the rest of your life." "...It seemed so at first, but I am very lucky. Now I have a group of good friends and a good job. Everything in the past seems to be a bleak passing cloud. You don't have to worry about me anymore." "Is this really the case? Can the traces of growth really be thrown away? I hope so." Ma Tong said.

"So I should also ask you, did I cast a shadow on your growth?" "Yeah. I think we've all influenced each other, and if we both bury the past in our hearts, the influence will last a lifetime, so I came to see you today to tell you that I have forgiven you and let us learn from each other release from this shadow, okay?" "My God, you must have hated me before." "So don't blame me. At that time, Ma Nan and I were so young, how could we think so much? I think you hated us first, so we are naturally afraid of you, as if there is an enemy living in the house, who will kill us at any time. But As I grew up, I was actually very curious about you. I even secretly read the poems you wrote in the school magazine. There is a line I will never forget. You wrote: "When water is cold, it becomes ice; when the heart is cold, it becomes a sharp knife... 'At that time, I was still a junior high school student. I thought about it for a long time, and what I felt was not hatred but alienation. Maybe from that time on, I feel that you are very pitiful."

"It's the past, you're right, let's free ourselves from the past. I forgive you too," Marty said. Ma Tong showed a smile: "So, let's all fight back against the distortion caused by growth, shall we?" "You've grown up," Marty said. "You have grown up too." Ma Tong also said. The two drank coffee, and Marty drank black coffee. She was surprised to find that the first taste of black coffee was more mellow than bitter.It turned out that there were warm tears dripping in the coffee.