Chapter 22 Chapter 1 Incomparable Sadness (4)

Jill, who was busy reading English materials, didn't think it was disobedient. She was vigorously scraping the back of her neck with the hand holding the cigarette. Hai'an continued: "Most people like Jill are willing to spend their brains, but they are not willing to spend their hearts." "You've got a heart?" retorted Jill. "Where's your heart? The most ruthless guy in the world—" Hai'an waited with a smile on his face, but at this moment Jier's cell phone rang in his backpack, and Jier took it out to answer it. At first, it was a perfunctory hum, but soon Jier picked up a pen and busily recorded the conversation on the phone. focus.

Marty drank half of the glass in one breath, and felt that the wine tasted good, especially the crackling ice cubes in the glass, which made her feel refreshed and refreshed from the inside out.Marty finished his glass, and Xiaoye delicately served the new wine. "Hai'an, is it okay for me to call you that? Today is the second time I've walked into the Sad Coffee Shop. I don't know how to describe it. I seem to be out of place with such a place, but this place attracts me. I think there is a special feeling here, How would you describe it?...It seems like a kind of freedom."

"Then you have received the real frequency here, look at them—" Hai'an pointed at the female guests at the next table with his chin, "Most of them came to see me, and as a result, they were even less free." Marty drank another half a glass of wine, and Hai An's directness made it hard to explain, but she didn't know where the courage came from, and she said more bluntly: "How do you know I'm not here to see you?" "If this is the case, then you have lost a lot." Even when Haian was drinking, the corners of his mouth were raised, was he smiling?Marty was taken aback when he said what he just said. Could it be that he was drunk?Otherwise, why is her speech so unfettered?

"Hmph, I don't believe it!" Jill argued loudly with the other party on the phone, "That's just another one-sided statement to the media. If you believe it, we are all fools! Listen...no, listen Go... ok! You go first..." Jill took out her pen and took notes again.Hai'an lit a cigarette and handed it to her.Marty noticed he smoked green and white Y's too. "Is Jill a reporter?" "Correct. She runs industry news, but prefers political issues." "I envy you, each has his own sky, I feel the stretch of your life, very casual."

"how about you?" "Me?... I think my life is a mess. I told you that you may not believe it. Some people wander all their lives for love, and some people struggle for their dreams. I envy such people because they are happier than me. My problem is that there is no love, Without dreams, I can't find my direction. I always envy those who really know what they want to do. My life is so at a loss, all I can do is escape." "In my opinion, that's because you do know what you don't want to do." This statement seems like a slap in the face.There was such a serenity in Heian's face that Marty almost thought she saw a big heart.After drinking the third glass of wine brought by Xiaoye, she realized that Xiaoye was sitting beside her at some point.

"Do you know, Hai'an? Before talking to you, I almost thought you were the kind of avant-garde and decadent punk you can see in the East District of Taipei. After talking to you, I became more curious. What do you usually do? " "You mean jobs and status? I don't have a job." "Listen to his nonsense!" Xiaoye disagreed, "Brother Ke has tens of millions of stocks in the stock market, and every time he enters the shop, he sits in the VIP room." "That's not a job, Leaf, is it? I still don't have a job, but so what?" "That...then..." Marty thought of words.Yes, so what?

"You mean, that's not constructive, that my existence as a human being is not constructive to society. Is it?" Marty thought, people without jobs are not constructive to society, but not constructive to society, so what? "The premise of this question is what is a job." Hai'an continued, "A job that people can generally recognize is a product of an existing classification. It must have an identity, a title, and an income. It is best to have a clear schedule. Period, specific output or achievement, and then people think you are a person with a job, and then recognize your life. We are all social machines—”

"Alienated?" Marty asked. "Yes, Marty, it's alienated. It becomes a job first, an identity first, and then there are people." "It confuses me," Marty said, "I don't think I'm a lazy person, but I'm very decadent in front of people. For a while I read poetry like crazy, but no one would think it was work, as if the clear self-consciousness alone was right. The world does not constitute a contribution." "Hmm. It's interesting." Hai'an's smile was encouraging. "That's why I'm so lost. I feel so unfree because I have so little control over my life. I just got a new job and it doesn't make me any happier, but I don't have a choice. I guess it's my ability Not enough, even supporting myself is hard enough, but I still want more. Sometimes I am so decadent that I want to be a homeless man who has nothing and has nothing to do with anyone, but I know that is impossible, and I even want to quietly Hiding at home all the time, you have to make up a reason that is plausible to others.”

"That's because you have all forgotten the relationship between you and the society." Jill covered the microphone and interrupted, "People's self-awareness and the pursuit of the meaning of life are of course important, but don't forget that we all live in In society, of course society has certain normative pressures on us. You have to pursue yourself, Fine, but don’t become a useless person in society at the same time, garbage!” "So what?" Hai'an said, his tone was teasing. "I can't stand it!" Jill turned to the microphone and said, "Just wait, I'll call you again."

Jill hung up the phone and said loudly: "Your argument has serious egoism. You must know that extreme egoism is the most decadent. Your life is nourished by society, but you are unwilling to give anything back to society. Damn, the clarity in your soul is the greatest reward to society. Of course, you can be who you want to be, but when enjoying your extreme ego, don't forget that your ego comes from the self-discipline of others. No one else You don’t even have a decadent part in the constructiveness of society! The premise of freedom is that the group has enough self-discipline and integrates into the life of social ethics!”

"As a believer in Kant, your argument is very thorough." Hai'an said, "You mean that without the existence of society, there would be no knowledge, culture, and civilized upbringing instilled in us to make us conscious enough to realize Suffering without freedom. Yes, if what we are after is not just animal-like freedom, but the freedom to exercise our selves rationally, then society exists before freedom. But we are talking about rational and animalistic Freedom. Since we talk about the relationship between human beings and society for mutual survival, you cannot deny the decadent enthusiasm of this egoism. Without egoism, or even quietism, then this society is really dull and silent. In such a world Here, even people who only know self-discipline will be so bored that they will jump off the building." "Absurd words! Hai'an, you are only willing to talk and don't listen. I don't have time to argue with you meaninglessly. I still have a lot of deadly work to do, and it is work that has real significance for the future of mankind!" "We've confused our new friends, arguing with you is worse than dancing." Haian really went to dance.On the small dance floor in front of the bar, Hai'an danced alone. Marty stayed in his seat, swaying drunkenly, almost like a dance.Although she is familiar with the sociological terms in the debate between Hai An and Jier, she does not have the ability to use them smoothly and express them easily.She is very envious. "Am I good?" Xiaoye jumped back to the seat next to Marty, and Marty didn't even know when he left.He said happily: "Every time Big Brother Ke and Jill quarrel, only I know how to end, just play this music."