Chapter 2 Chapter 1 - When the words are ashes...

When these words turn to ashes, I'll be on your chest "Taipei Railway Station." Just stepped into the taxi with the left foot and opened the door a quarter of the way, I dropped this sentence before my right foot had time to shake off the wet mud on the sole. "Go back to your mother's house?" The driver asked casually, then laughed. I also laughed. Although it was the second day of the Lunar New Year, I was single with only a simple backpack. Also, I'm a man. Even if it rains hard, it still only changes my hairstyle, not my gender. I'm not a Ranma described by Rumiko Takahashi, so I won't turn into a girl just because I'm drenched in cold water.

"It's cold today." "Ok." "Are you wet? There is a tissue in the back of the car, please use it." "thanks." "Catch the train? Quot; "Ok." "Going home?" "No. Find friends." "Must be an important friend." "Ok." The rainy Taipei is so strange that it is frightening. It seems that although I have been working in this city for half a year, I have never lived seriously. I don't know why, but I just can't blend into the blood of this city. The pulsation of Taipei may influence my emotions, but it still cannot get my soul.

I am like Xi Shi in the Wu Palace, accompanying Fu Chai physically, but still thinking of Fan Li in my heart. Through the car windows, pedestrians are like fish swimming past tail after tail, with only movement but no sound. It's so quiet, as if all the sounds are trapped in a black hole. I know that black holes can trap all matter and energy, even light. But can sound escape from a black hole?A classmate in high school asked the physics teacher this question. "Sound? Have you ever heard someone calling for help in a black hole?" After the teacher finished speaking, he was intoxicated by his sense of humor and laughed out loud.

Maybe my head is like a black hole right now, trapping a lot of voices, and these voices are going everywhere. Including mine, Tsuen's, and Mingjing's. "165 yuan, happy new year." "Oh? ...Thank you. Happy New Year." After recovering, I paid the car fare. Grabbing my backpack, closing the car door, I stormed into the station like a kamikaze storming an aircraft carrier. The crowd queuing up to buy tickets brought time and space to the Shanghai pier in 1949, which I have seen in movies. That was the scene when the Kuomintang was about to retreat to Taiwan.

Not wanting to waste time, I bought a platform ticket from the automatic ticket vending machine and squeezed into the platform. I don't have a clear goal, only a direction. go south. Of course, there are fewer people on the platform than in the station hall, but it is more crowded because of the small space. People in the station hall are usually anxious, while those on the platform are just waiting. and I? I am anxiously waiting. Einstein was right, time is relative, not absolute. The waiting time is always like a sleepless night, helpless and long. And the damn train is the same as the bus in Taipei City, the more anxious you wait, the later the bus will arrive.

"When it rains, don't just pay attention to the water droplets on my face, but see my constant smile." Suddenly thinking of what Tsuen had said, I felt a lot lighter. It was raining heavily that day, and she came to me without an umbrella and said this while dripping wet. "Do me a favor, I'll worry about you." "No. I just forgot my umbrella, I didn't mean to." "Do you forget to take your chopsticks when you eat?" "That's different." Tsuen thought for a while, then brushed his wet hair: "Chopsticks exist for eating, but umbrellas do not exist for seeing you."

Tsuen is like this, she always worries me, but I can't persuade her not to worry me. Compared to Mingjing, Tsuen seems innocent, but they are all kind people. Kindness is relative to me. "Why do you always walk on my left?" "The left side is closer to the road, which is more dangerous." Mingjing stopped, pulled me closer to her, and said with a smile: "You know what? You really are a kind person." "Would you? It's fine." "While most people are kind, you are kinder than them." I have always wanted to tell Mingjing that it is embarrassing to be praised for being kind by a kind person.

Just like Yan Hui was embarrassed when Confucius praised him for his erudition. I slowly let the voice out of my head so I could think. It's not easy, all the sounds are not only scattered and messy, but also seem to be smashed and then merged. I had to try to piece together every single body at the scene after the explosion. Then I started to realize if I was doing something crazy. Crazy, I thought. It started when I opened the cigarette box this morning and wanted to take out the cigarette. Maybe from the sudden urge to smoke, it was considered crazy. Because I quit smoking for half a year.

Once, Boysen asked me what is the craziest thing I have ever done in my life? I thought about it for a long time, and I could only think of the fact that I forgot to bring the key, so I turned through the window from the balcony on the 10th floor to open the door. "This is courting death, not madness." "I stayed up two days and nights preparing for the final exam, and immediately went to donate blood after the exam. Does that count?" "Still courting death." "What about freestyle and breaststroke swimming while riding your bike with your hands free?"

"That's still courting death!" Later, I often asked the same question to my colleagues or friends, and their answers were much more exciting. Of course, there is also a deadly answer to running a marathon while smoking. Someone even told me that voting for Chen Shui-bian in the general election is the craziest thing. He is an engineer who is about to retire in the company and a loyal member of the Kuomintang for 20 years. His thinking is on the right side, and his position is on the right side. It is said that even when he wears boxer underwear, he puts his life on the right side.

"Then why did you vote for Chen Shui-bian?" "Wouldn't you be sorry if, when you were old, you never did anything crazy?" I may not be old, but I'm starting to feel sorry. I remember one time when Bo Sen was playing nonsense, he said: "You don't have a past, because your past never happened; You also have no future, because your future is already past. You can't grow old because you've never been young; You cannot be young either, because you are old. " He's right, in a sense, that's how I live. "You don't die because you haven't lived." So what am I?Person did not answer me. Like a mistletoe, that's how Mingjing once described me. Finally a train came in, it was the orange Juguang number. I walked towards the rear of the car, which is where there are fewer passengers. And if a train crashes on a level crossing, there will usually be trouble in the first few cars. Because I didn't see the train passing by, I crossed the level crossing, so it was easy to get in close contact with the locomotive. Not to mention accidents where a vehicle that has broken down on the tracks is hit head-on by a train. It's a pity that there are too many passengers, even in any carriage. I couldn't bear to fight to get into the car with a group of women with children and big bags. Sighing, he put his backpack on his back, stepped back three steps, and waited quietly. The train whistle sounded, and I was the last passenger to get on the last car. I stood on the bottom step of the car door, holding the iron bars inside the door with both hands, much like a ski position. With a loud bang, the train started. I looked back at the platform, and there were some people who couldn't get on the train and those who saw off. This is easy to distinguish, the person who sees off will wave his right hand to say goodbye; Those who can't get on the bus have a relatively simple action, just raise the middle finger of their right hand. When I was in elementary school, every time I went out to play in the car, the teacher would tell me "don't stick your head and hands out of the window", I still remember a naughty classmate who asked, "Why?" The teacher said: "Several electric poles beside the road will be broken!" After speaking, I laughed several times, like a Taiwanese monkey in a zoo that suddenly went into heat. Oddly enough, I usually have teachers who don't have a great sense of humor. At that time, I began to worry about whether my personality when I grew up would be distorted by being taught by this kind of teacher. The train started rocking from side to side, so I rocked back and forth. If neither the head nor the hands can stick out the window, what about the feet? I had a sudden impulse, so I lifted my left foot, stretched it out of the car, and let go of my left hand. It's like performing water-skiing stunts. It's a pity you can't see it, Person.Can this be considered crazy? How about letting go of your right hand?Person will definitely say that it is courting death. Is the so-called madness more than impulsive and less than courting death? Retract the left foot and switch to the right foot.Swapped a few times and started to get bored. Moreover, a five or six-year-old boy who was holding his mother's clothes was looking at me suspiciously. I don't want to be a bad example for him. Tsuen often said that sometimes I look bad, and she would be a little scared. Mingjing also said that I am not calm enough, I should try to look more serious. They all hope that others will not misunderstand me because of my external image. I always feel that I am carrying something on my back, and those things are very heavy. The heaviest thing is probably something called expectation.Usually given by others. Then there is morality. However, in school, morality is very important, and after leaving society, morality becomes lighter. They are always pressing on my shoulders, controlling my heart, and blocking my mouth. So I took the pack off my shoulders and clamped my feet to the ground. Because I don't want to have any burden on my body at this time. I took out the cigarette case from the left pocket of my jacket and carefully took out a cigarette. The woman standing under the no-smoking sign looked at me with a little panic. I shook my head at her. He brought the cigarette close to his eyes and read the words on it: "When these words are reduced to ashes, I will be on your chest."