Chapter 19 Peacock Forest (19)
I'm dumped.
Broken love has two meanings, the first one refers to the loss of a lover;
A deeper level refers to the loss of love.
I think I will not only lose my lover, but I am afraid I will also lose my love.
Wei Ting once told me that those who choose sheep will never force themselves to be with someone they don’t love.
So when she said she wanted to break up, she probably wouldn't leave much room for it.
That being the case, I don't have to try my best to keep it.
On the third day after Wei Ting said goodbye, I received a letter.
The envelope is very big, the size of A4, and it contains the love letter I wrote.
To be correct, it is Cai Zhiyuan in A4 who is wearing the standard Liu Weiting with the petite Liu Weiting inside.
This took away the last hope that I would get back together.
My first thought upon receiving the letter: This is retribution.
Liu Weiting once received this letter, and when she knew it was just a misunderstanding, I must have hurt her severely.
Now it has come back to me after going around in a big circle. This may also be called a causal loop.
For a week after she was completely sure that she was broken in love, Wei Ting's appearance and voice filled her mind.
Thinking that I might never see her sweet smile again, I fell into the abyss of sadness,
The whole person kept sinking, and there was darkness in front of his eyes.
I let the black current of sorrow swallow me, and I didn't even think about struggling.
It wasn't until after the "first seven days" of being broken in love that I tried to cheer up and resist bit by bit.
Then I began to think of Liu Weiting's eyes again.
Perhaps it was because I had a deep sense of guilt towards Liu Weiting, so after Wei Ting left,
I no longer need to deliberately suppress the thought of thinking of Liu Weiting, when I think of Liu Weiting again.
I'd love to know where she is, what she's doing, how she's doing?
Those desires can even overshadow the sadness when thinking of Wei Ting.
This does not mean that Liu Weiting has more weight in my heart than Wei Ting, the two cannot be compared.
Wei Ting's departure is a bit like the death of a loved one. In addition to facing sadness and getting out of sadness,
There is nothing you can do about it.
And Liu Weiting seems to be an important thing that has not been completed, as long as he does not complete it for a day, he will be stuck in his heart.
It's part of the growing process and I have to complete it so that life can move on.
In order to escape the sadness when I think of Wei Ting, I tried to examine the unpleasantness when I was with Wei Ting.
If you really want to forget someone but it's hard to do it, try to remember her bad.
While it's a wimpy thought, I really can't think of any other way to cheer me up.
But in recalling the details of getting along with Wei Ting, apart from our occasional disputes after she arrived in Taipei,
Most of the memories are sweet, just like her smile.
In order to pick on her bad things, I know her good things more clearly, which makes me more painful.
When I want to drop this cowardly thinking and switch to passive avoidance strategies,
I suddenly remembered the conversation we had when we first went to Anping Beach to watch the sunset:
"Thank you for not rejecting me. 』
"I can't say no to romance."
Maybe Wei Ting didn't accept me, she was just indulging in the romantic feeling of the love letter.
So as long as I'm not a bad person, she accepts me easily.
When we were together, although I didn't behave well, maybe for her,
It is romantic to be able to talk and laugh together every day.
With the separation between the two places, the chances of seeing each other plummeted, while her need for romance increased day by day,
So my deficiency in this respect is fatal.
Maybe it wasn't fair to her to think so, but it made me feel better.
At least I don't have to ask myself every day: why did we get to this point, what happened,
Why is she leaving me?
This kind of problem is like a quagmire, once you step into it, it will only get deeper and deeper.