Chapter 9 chapter eight

Qiu Fei sat in the dining room of the gas station, smoking a cigarette, with a calm face. Yang Yang said: "Otherwise, let's drive back first. If you don't want to get it, don't go. If you want to get it again after drinking water, you won't be able to go back." Qiu Fei said, "Let's sit down for a while." It was already six o'clock in the evening when Qiu Fei arrived in Beijing, and Zhou Zhou never called Qiu Fei. Yang Yang sent Qiu Fei home, but Yang Yang didn't go up and went back to his place. Qiu Fei knocked on the door, but no one opened it, so he took out the key to open it.

Entering the house, the curtains were drawn in the living room, and the room was pitch black. Qiu Fei turned on the light and saw Zhou Zhou sitting on the sofa with his back to him. "Why don't you turn on the light?" Qiu Fei asked. Zhou Zhou sat motionless and ignored Qiu Fei. Qiu Fei walked over, teased Zhou Zhou, and asked, "What's wrong?" Zhou Zhou flung himself away, "Don't touch me!" Qiu Fei said: "There are so many good days, I will choose another day later." Zhou Zhou stared at Qiu Fei and said, "You don't want to get the certificate at all, do you?"

Qiu Fei thought for a while and said, "I want to!" Zhou Zhou said: "I wonder why you are only coming back now after the opening to traffic at ten o'clock? Why do you know that you have to go to drink and go to Beidaihe yesterday to get the license today?" Qiu Fei didn't expect Zhou Zhou to know the actual road conditions. Since she knew, it meant that she also knew what he was thinking. Qiu Fei felt that it was better to tell the truth, and it was necessary for Zhou Zhou to understand him. Qiu Fei said: "I want to get married, but not now, give me some time."

Zhou Zhou said, "Is it appropriate to give you time to consider marrying me?" Qiu Fei said: "Zhou Zhou. You are the person I love the most. If I want to marry a woman, it must be you. Now the problem lies with me. I don't want to marry for the time being." Zhou Zhou said, "Did you already have this plan?" Qiu Fei sat down and said, "It's true that it didn't just happen yesterday. It started after we didn't get the certificate last time." Zhou Zhou was a little annoyed, "Then why didn't you tell me, what do you think of me. Just wait until today to release me, right?"

Qiu Fei said: "I really blame me for this matter, and I have been hesitating whether I should tell you the truth, but as soon as I hesitated, it became like this." Zhou Zhou said: "Maybe you have your own ideas, but isn't it too selfish for you to do so, how can I explain to my mother?" Qiu Fei lowered his head and stopped talking. Zhou Zhou said: "We live together. Do you think this is any different from getting married?" Qiu Fei thought for a moment and said, "Then I'll move out first." Qiu Fei disappeared. The next day, Qiu Fei moved out of Zhou Zhou's house. When Zhou Zhou came back from get off work, he found that the house was empty.

Zhou Zhou thought that Qiu Fei went home to live, and he didn't take it seriously, so the two broke up unhappy last night.Later, no one paid attention to each other, and each slept in a bed.Zhou Zhou got up early in the morning and went to work, but Qiu Fei was still lying on the bed. In the evening, Qiu Fei's father called Zhou Zhou and asked where Qiu Fei was.Why is his cell phone turned off?Only then did Zhou Zhou know that Qiu Fei hadn't come home. In order not to make Qiu Fei's father anxious, Zhou Zhou said that Qiu Fei hadn't come back after going out, maybe his phone was out of battery, and asked Qiu Fei's father what he wanted from him. Said that the computer at home was broken, and it took a long time to start up, and it was slow to open the webpage, and the stock trading software could not be used.Ask Qiu Fei to go back and repair it.Zhou Zhou said it might be poisoned.Wait for Qiu Fei to come back and tell him.Qiu Fei's father asked again, did the license yesterday go well?If I have nothing to do on the weekend, I come back to have a meal. Zhou Zhou changed the subject and said that he saw a footbath with massage in the mall and bought it for Qiu Fei's father. Qiu Fei's father said no, it was quite expensive, Zhou Zhou It's not expensive, but it happens to be a promotion in the mall and there are discounts.

After hanging up the phone with Qiu Fei's father, Zhou Zhou stuttered, and then spent the night by himself as usual. The next morning Zhou Zhou was about to go to work when Qiu Fei's father called again, looking for Qiu Fei.Zhou Zhou said that Qiu Fei didn't come back last night. Qiu Fei's father said that his mobile phone was still turned off, the stock market would open soon, and the computer still didn't work.Zhou Zhou said don't worry, I'll ask his friends. Zhou Zhou called Yang Yang, and Yang Yang said he didn't know. They hadn't contacted each other since they came back from Beidaihe. Zhou Zhou asked Ma Jie and Zhang Chaofan again, but they also said they didn't know.

In fact, Qiu Fei approached Ma Jie in the afternoon. Ma Jie used to participate in mountain climbing activities organized by netizens. He had a huge mountaineering bag. Qiu Fei borrowed the bag from him, saying that he would go out for a few days without saying hello to Zhou Zhou. Let Ma Jie never tell her. Ma Jie didn't understand, and asked, "Why did you disappear just after you got the certificate? Is it so romantic?" Qiu Fei said: "We didn't get it." He narrated the process of drinking that night. Ma Jie asked, "Then where are you going?" Qiu Fei said: "I don't know, go to a strange place."

Ma Jie asked: "What do you think, do you have the energy to go out and wander around?" Qiu Fei said: "I think I should hang around for a while." "But what do you do when you're loitering?" said Marger. Qiu Fei said: "If you don't do anything, just do it." Ma Jie said, "If you say it, it means you didn't say it." Qiu Fei said, "Then don't ask." Qiu Fei asked: "Is there anything outside that attracts you?" Ma Jie said: "Yes, but nothing specific, I just want to go out for a walk, so that I will be more comfortable."

Ma Jie said: "It's so comfortable to lie at home with your wife in your arms and watch TV, but it's tiring and hard to go out, what a comfort! What are you doing?" Qiu Fei said: "When you want to do the same thing, you will naturally understand. Now I can't tell you clearly, forget it, let's not talk about it." Ma Jie asked: "Then Zhou Zhou wants to ask me where you have been, what should I say?" Qiu Fei said, "Just say, you don't know." Ma Jie said: "I still advise you, if you love Zhou Zhou, don't go out and wander around."

Qiu Fei put his bag on his back and said, "It's not a matter of love or not, you don't understand." Qiu Fei's father was very anxious. The market was going up quite well, but the computer couldn't be used, and the stocks couldn't be sold. It's a pity that this wave of market prices.What made him even more anxious was that his son was lost. Qiu Fei hadn't heard from him for three days. Qiu Fei's mother packed Qiu Fei's things at home, hoping to find some clues, and found a notebook in a pile of books, which contained Qiu Fei's high school diary. Qiu Fei's mother called Zhou Zhou and asked her to take a look at the diary to see if she could find any clues. When Zhou Zhou arrived at Qiu Fei's house.Qiu Fei's mother was cooking, so Zhou Zhou was left to eat.Zhou Zhou felt that he should accompany Qiu Fei's parents, so he stayed. During the meal, Qiu Fei's mother asked Zhou Zhou: "Have you quarreled recently?" Zhou Zhou said: "There was no quarrel over any specific matter." Then he narrated the ins and outs of not receiving the certificate. After hearing this, Qiu Fei's father took a sip of Erguotou and said, "I really don't know what this kid thinks." Qiu Fei's mother sighed, and said: "The other children ran away from home when they were in middle school, so why is he still running away at thirty!" After dinner, Zhou Zhou took Qiu Fei's diary back to his home to read.This is a hard shell notebook.The cover is sky blue, and the inside pages have turned yellow, filled with Qiu Fei's handwriting, which was memorized since the third year of high school. Zhou Zhou leaned against the head of the bed and read from the first page. Sunny Sunday, August 31, 1997 Fucking school starts again tomorrow, I'm already in my fucking senior year, fuck! Report to school today.I thought I could go home after receiving the books and paying the tuition, but the principal refused to let me go.It is necessary to hold a meeting for the third-year students. Yesterday's "Beijing Evening News" said that the highest temperature today was 33 degrees. I was hot sitting in my shorts, and the principal was not too hot standing on the stage in a suit. Maybe it was to emphasize the importance of the meeting. Thought he was going to warn us.Now that we are the biggest grade in the school, we are not allowed to bully the lower grade students, but the focus of the meeting was to sound the alarm for us.The principal said that the first place in the third year of senior high school was admitted to Beijing University of Technology. It's really shameful-the whole school didn't even go to Tsinghua University and Peking University, even the Renmin University of China's Nankai University! It seems that our school is not just bad.In No. 4 Middle School, there are only a dozen students from Tsinghua University and Peking University in one class. It seems that our school has not passed the exam since its establishment. It is a shame.Didn't know it was a shame for that student.Still teacher shame. According to this standard, the whole school went to Beijing X University first.I am in the twenties in the class, so I have to "run in the sea"-I heard that the school has no dormitory, and the students run to school every day with their schoolbags in order not to be late, and in order to go home after class to eat hot food I have to run to and from school after dinner. Because it is in Haidian District, it is named "Haipaoer". When the headmaster mentioned the emotional point, he put his left hand on his hips and gesticulated with his right hand: "There are still three hundred and three hundred days before your college entrance examination. It's time to wait. It's time for you to be tough on yourself and lose your flesh!" After speaking, he clenched his right hand into a fist. I hadn't turned the corner at that time. Could it be that the principal asked us to chop our own flesh? This is not a little cruel, it is too cruel! After he explained it later, I realized that it was time to study hard, which would lead to losing meat. I don't understand, what is the relationship between studying hard and being fat or thin.Those who did well in the class were all fat. They usually worked very hard and didn't exercise. After lunch, they sat there with a book. Their scores did increase, and so did their flesh.Therefore, the principal's words should be changed to: "You should be tougher on yourselves, prepare to grow meat!" Well, principal, I am always ready for a life where I just have to run every day! Sunny Monday, September 1, 1997 Today, all primary and secondary schools in Beijing are back to school, and the streets are crowded with students and parents, who have to queue up for a bowl of tofu. The first class was the English of the head teacher Lao Jiang. He didn’t speak a word of English in the first 44 minutes. He kept emphasizing the urgency of the situation. Ranked middle and lower in the country, the college entrance examination and our competition are not the few people around us, but high school students across the country, so our scores are at best considered to be middle or lower in the whole country.She also said that students from other places are working hard. From the second year of junior high school, they have to study by themselves in the evening until ten o'clock in the evening every day. What do we do at night? It can take advantage of the low admission score, otherwise half of the class will not go to school, including junior colleges.So, we have to have a sense of urgency.In order to let us deepen our understanding of this sense of urgency, she said: "Have you all held back your urine? If you haven't, drink three glasses of water after you get home and don't go to the toilet all night. Just try it." Finally, when the get out of class bell rang, Old Jiang finally said something in English: "From today onwards, you will have to try your best. If you want to be famous in front of others, you will have to suffer from others. Let's work hard together, OK?!" Alas, our grades were not good at first, and we only got an OK in one English class. But Lao Jiang's words still terrified me.Since I went to high school, it was for the university entrance examination.Those of my classmates who were admitted to technical secondary schools and vocational high schools are now giving injections to patients and selling tickets on the bus. Start today and study hard. Rainy Friday, September 6, 1997 This week's performance was not bad, I did the homework by myself, and took notes carefully. In addition to what the teacher copied on the blackboard, I also wrote down a lot of things that were not copied on the blackboard.I can basically concentrate on listening to the lectures. Although I occasionally wander off for a while, I will turn back after walking for a while. In the past, I was turned back by the bell after class. Except for Li Yuhang who sleeps on the table every day - anyway, his father owns a restaurant, and he will work as a waiter as soon as he graduates from the third year of high school - it seems that the whole class is doing well, and there is no one who copies homework in the morning, and there is no one who passes notes in class. There were fewer, and there were fewer people who played basketball after lunch. All of them suddenly became fond of scientific and cultural knowledge. The whole class was shrouded in the white terror of the college entrance examination. It was really scary! Sunny Friday, September 13, 1997 Another week has passed, these five days have not been as good as last week, I am not very devoted to my studies, I am not as diligent in my class notes as before, I did not write my math homework yesterday, I finished copying it and handed it in this morning. The occurrence of the above situation is related to the fact that there is a new football in the class.The football game last semester was broken, and this week our boys chipped in to buy another one, the Locomotive brand, which feels better than the "Double Star" one last semester. In fact, the more important reason is that I have relaxed the requirements on myself and did not maintain the good state of last week.To learn this thing, I am afraid of fishing for three days and posting on the net for two days. Now there are 301 days before the college entrance examination, I have to fish every day and I can’t post the net anymore. Friday, September 26, 1997 turned from cloudy to sunny It's been four weeks since school started.The state has gradually improved, and the reaction can keep up with the teacher's trip, but the thinking of doing the questions has not been fully opened, so I can give myself a score of 75. In terms of energy distribution, I put more effort into physics, mathematics and chemistry, because I find that sometimes it is very fun to do the questions, especially when I know how to do them, I will go to school to ask them the next day.A lot of people won't do it when. I haven't put enough effort into English and Chinese, because I feel sleepy when I read Chinese texts and English reading comprehension. In order not to be sleepy, I can only read them less.But they are the subjects of the college entrance examination after all. Therefore, during the two days of the weekend, I mainly study these two subjects. The atmosphere of white terror in the class became more and more intense, both good and bad.The good thing is that the learning atmosphere in the class is good. With fewer people playing football with me, it can also encourage me to spend more time studying.The bad thing is that this time there are more people vying for my university places. Friday, October 24, 1997 was sunny and windy I haven't written a diary for another month. There are various reasons: I'm lazy, I forgot, I feel bored.etc.But what the Chinese teacher said today rekindled my interest in keeping a diary. He said: "I usually write a diary. It is helpful for writing essays, and it is more useful as a document." True or not, I decided to give it a try.For each language test, 20 points for the small composition.The major composition is 60 points, and I have a total of more than 20 points for the big and small compositions. I am really distressed! Stick to writing a diary for a month, and see if you can score 30 points for the next composition. If I can, I will continue to write. If not, I have to keep writing. How do those who write well do it? Sunny Saturday, October 25, 1997 Today is Saturday, I have been staying at home, did not go out, nothing to write.Just excerpt an article from "Chinese Newspaper"! happiness What is happiness?Some people say that happiness is a door.Walking in will always be happy, but the price of tickets has already made 80% of people linger at the door.Some people say that happiness is a key, and only love can open it.Some people also say that happiness is a mirage in the vast desert. When you cheer for it and run, it will disappear cruelly, but you will fall into a more painful situation. Look, what an abstract and wonderful word happiness is. All people are looking for happiness, but no one can grasp happiness for a lifetime.When you have nowhere to live and live on the street, home is happiness; when you are lonely and bored, friends are happiness; when you travel long distances, tired and thirsty, a glass of water, even a sip of water, is happiness for you.And when you have everything you need and carefree, you are happy in the eyes of others, but you can no longer find happiness in your life.Why?Because you lack nothing; because there will be nothing to satisfy you and make you happy; because the happiness you have has made your soul empty and numb, and has left you with nothing to pursue, then you will still Is there happiness? Ah, how strange is happiness, so generous to those who have nothing, and so stingy to those who are rich.The best way to have happiness is to pursue ideals. The more persistent the pursuit, the greater the probability of having happiness.Yes, for happiness, how many people are pursuing hard.What is happiness?Happiness is a constant pursuit, an endless progress, a kind of satisfaction that can never be obtained... I'm so tired of copying! If, as it says, happiness is impossible to obtain, then I can easily be happy, and those who can get full marks in composition are not happy at all. Sunday Rain, October 26, 1997 Today is Sunday and tomorrow starts a new week.It has been almost two months since the start of school, and I have not yet fully entered the state of senior year.Starting next week, I'm going to stick to the schedule below to see if I get better results. Get up at 6:00 Running 6:10-6:30 Breakfast 6:40-7:00 Go to school 7:00-7:20 (memorize words on the road) Morning self-study 7:30-7:55 Morning classes 8:00-11:40 Lunch 11:50 - 12:10 Go home and sleep 12:30-13:10 Afternoon class 13:30-16:30 Appropriate activities after school must be home before 17:30 Dinner must be finished before 18:30, which requires the cooperation of parents Homework 18:30 - 20:30 Eat fruit 20:30-20:50 Do questions 20:50-22:30 Write a diary 22:30-23:00 23:10 Wash and go to bed. Read a composition or article before going to bed, and after lying down, think about the questions you don’t know and have other ideas I wrote another diary today, and I keep writing like this every day. Can my composition really improve? Wait and see! Sunny Wednesday, November 12, 1997 Today is the anniversary of Sun Yat-sen's birth. If he hadn't been born 121 years ago today, I don't know what China would be like now. The selection of talents may not be the college entrance examination system, but the imperial examination system. Recently the state is good.Whether it is a learning state or a competitive state. The speed of reading comprehension has improved a lot than before. Practice makes perfect, and I believe it will be faster in the future. The number of goals in physical education class has also increased a lot compared to before. Today, I passed two people and shot the goalkeeper through the crotch. It was very exciting and very high-level. I don’t know if the girls saw it. I'm ashamed to say that I wanted to stick to keeping a diary, but I stopped because of various things.In fact, this is what I expected. If I hadn't scored a goal worth showing off today, I really couldn't think of writing it. Now that the bragging is over, it's time for me to close my pen. It's not that I don't want to write, it's not that I don't want to improve the composition score, it's that I don't know what to write, just like writing a composition. Sunny Tuesday, November 18, 1997 I didn't go home to sleep at noon for the past two days.After eating, I went to the playground to play football, which was a bit addictive. Play football at noon.There are pros and cons to learning. The bad thing is, take this afternoon as an example, I was so tired in chemistry class that I closed my eyes unconsciously.Actually fell asleep and missed the class.Fortunately, the teacher went over the new content again, so that I didn't have any knowledge loopholes. The good thing is that exercising the body, relaxing the brain, and absorbing knowledge faster. To sum up, as long as you don't get too tired from playing, you should still play.Playing football is to study better, and the time for study is used well.It's okay to play football for a while.Think about it this way.I am more motivated when I study, and I feel more at ease when I play football. Sunny Thursday, November 27, 1997 Lao Jiang has another class meeting today.The reason is that although the learning atmosphere in the class is strong.But it’s not good, everyone is fighting on their own, there is no communication between the students, and they are even competing, but she wants to see the whole class go to university, not just one person. Lao Jiang said that the spirit of being competitive is good, but don’t be too narrow-minded. Don’t just know that you are fighting in the nest. The real competitors are the millions of senior high school students across the country. Come to greater learning motivation. Today, the two girls got a physics magazine out of nowhere. They were sneaky. If I want to read it, I won’t give it up. What if there are college entrance examination questions on it?Even if there is, with your brains, can you do it? Kinetic energy and momentum are indistinguishable. Why didn't you choose the liberal arts class when you were divided into classes? What a fucking university has ruined people! Sunny Sunday, March 29, 1998 Today is only one hundred days left before the college entrance examination.The diary was interrupted for half a year, because my life has changed - I have a girlfriend, so I can't take care of writing. I think I'm sick. I'm in a relationship at this time, and I still want to go to university. I'm courting death! But I don’t know how I got on good terms with Han Lu. I didn’t know her well before, but this didn’t seem to be an obstacle. My mother and my father also never got to know each other well, but now Han Lu and I are very close. I know her home phone number, where her father works, and her mother just got a perm last week. There are still a few pairs in the class, and we are both front and back. It may be because of too much study pressure. I am bored with reading and studying every day. I want to find someone who is close to me. How can I get close? First come first. good on. Han Lu and I have already kissed, if there is no college entrance examination, I don't know when my first kiss will start. Thanks for the college entrance examination! During the time they got along with Han Lu, they didn't delay their studies.Sometimes when she continued to kiss me, she suddenly opened her mouth and said, "I can forget that question." Sometimes I withdrew half of my mouth and said: "Let's go, go home, I still have a set of physics and a set of math papers to do today!" In order to better express ourselves in front of each other, we studied harder after returning home. Once, in order to overcome the balance of a redox reaction equation, I stayed up until two in the middle of the night. I wanted to show off in front of Han Lu the next day. , the result is still not done.The next day, when I asked Han Lu, she didn't make it, and she stayed up until three o'clock. Let's write so much today, I should recite the vocabulary. Cloudy Tuesday, March 31, 1998 These couples in the class seem to have been discovered.Before class today, Lao Jiang said inexplicably that there is nothing wrong with male and female students helping each other normally, but don’t overdo it. Now is the critical moment. Apart from studying, you will regret everything else in the future.She said that she was well aware of some things that happened in the class, but she didn't want to reveal them, and hoped that everyone would take care of themselves. That's right, Old Jiang doesn't know.There was a couple who kissed in the classroom after class, and just happened to be bumped into by the math teacher, which made the teacher blush.Are you so fucking thirsty, you have to be in the classroom, afraid that people don't know what to do?It would be great to go to the construction site behind the teaching building to do this, or anywhere outside the school gate. In fact, from a person's academic performance, you can see how well that person is doing things.Han Lu and I have better grades than them, and this matter is also more hidden than theirs.They need to improve too much. Rain on Saturday, April 11, 1998 The school gave us a holiday in the third year of high school, allowing us to review at home, check for gaps and make up for omissions, and return to school to answer questions in a few days. There are still three months before the college entrance examination, and the class has already started to write the yearbook, and it is sad yet nervous. Han Lu and I also talked about what to do if we didn't get into a university. Fortunately, neither of us wanted to leave Beijing.I said, when the time comes, I will buy a racing car that I can ride with my buttocks, and I will go to her every day.She said that she didn't have to go every day, she would have to visit me every now and then. Both of us are looking forward to the future.I heard that after entering university, you can start a relationship in an open and honest manner. I don’t want to be sneaky anymore. The day before yesterday when I was taking Han Lu home, I bumped into her father at the intersection. Fortunately, she was sharp-eyed at the time, so she quickly let go of my hand and let her go. I hid behind a tricycle so her dad didn't notice. Fortunately, there will be more than ninety days.We don't have to hide anymore. Rainy Wednesday, August 5, 1998 The college entrance examination notice has been sent out.I was admitted to Beijing X University, Han Lu didn't pass the exam, and got into a junior college in Shanghai, what the hell! I was very happy at first, but she cried every day, and I couldn't be happy anymore. My mother started to prepare things for me to go to college. Han Lu's mother is asking her to find a door for her to see if she can go to a school in Beijing instead of going to Shanghai. I blame Han Lu for this.I had to fill in the university in Shanghai in the last volunteer column of the volunteer form, and asked her to change it, but she refused to listen, saying that she would definitely be admitted to the previous volunteers.I regret it now. After a while I have to go to her house to comfort her. Her parents are at work, so don't worry about it. Sunny Thursday, August 18, 1998 Han Lu and I broke up. She brought up the reason that we would be separated in two places.Unable to connect emotionally. In fact, there are still many ways, such as writing letters and making phone calls.Although the phone call is a bit expensive.But it’s okay to call several times a month, and she will return to Beijing during May Day, October 1st, winter and summer vacations, so we can meet each other.I think the main reason for her to make this decision is that she did not pass the exam, was disappointed, and did not want to face reality.This summer vacation, I didn't do anything else, I persuaded her every day, the more I persuaded, the more I cried, and then she started avoiding me. Today, she asked me out and proposed to break up. The Big Mac I ate at McDonald's at noon was considered a breakup meal. I know what I say will be in vain.Let her calm herself down. Monday, August 29, 1998 turned cloudy to rainy The consequence of me letting Han Lu calm down is.She was even more convinced that she wanted to break up.Woman, what a dead end. What's wrong with the exam.Life has to go on. As for the family being ruined because of this? But I still have a little suspicion. She used the excuse of not doing well in the exam, but she actually wanted to break up with me a long time ago. The reason why she was with me before was to supervise her studies and release pressure. The reason why I think so is because when I was analyzing why I got along with Han Lu, I subconsciously thought so, and I was happy to accept the decision to break up. What is love, I really do not understand. Sunny Monday, August 29, 1998 Han Lu and her parents went to register at the university in Shanghai. I didn't send her off, and she didn't let me either. After saying "good sailing", we hung up the phone. It's time for me to prepare for a new life. Sunny Saturday, September 5, 1998 School has started, I have arrived in a new environment, I have met new classmates and new teachers.I was admitted with the second-to-last score. Many of my classmates went to Tsinghua University and Peking University, and they were accepted only after failing the exam.It seems that it is impossible for me to succeed in my studies here.But I didn't go to college to learn anything, in fact, I don't know what I'm here for. I heard that the university is very loose, this time I should have fun. There are couples walking hand in hand everywhere on campus, and the teacher doesn't care when they see them, but what is depressing is that there are only two girls in the class, and it seems that they can only find them from outside departments.Before applying for volunteers, you should really check which department has more girls. Monday, October 12, 1998 Overcast The military training and the 11th long holiday are over, and it is time to return to school for formal classes. Today's "Theoretical Mechanics" talks about all the fucking stuff, it's boring, I don't want to hear it. It is said that it is easy to go to college, I think it is nonsense, I just copied the high math homework for more than an hour, and the lights are about to be turned off, and the homework of theoretical mechanics has not been copied yet, damn it! If I had known that going to college was still so tiring, I would not have been so tired in the three years of high school. I could get a high school diploma and just find a class. After reading, Zhou Zhou closed the diary and poured a glass of water to drink. It can be seen that Qiu Fei was a simple-minded boy at that time, and he was a fairly reliable young man.The handwriting of the diary is familiar to Zhou Zhou. The last diary was written in the autumn of 1998. After half a year, in the spring of 1999, Qiu Fei knew Zhou Zhou. The two were together every day. This may be the book The reason why the diary could not continue to be written. There was a yellow light in the room, and Zhou Zhou sat at the table and turned on the radio.Close your eyes and rest your mind, the radio is playing a song, "We Are All Good Boys": Open the window and look at the white bird in the sky I think of your peppermint smile when you were running on the playground Shout out I love you, do you know then we were not afraid of anything Watching the coffee-colored sunset set again You said to always love and always be good just like this never parting We are all good kids whimsical child Believe that love can last forever We are all good kids Zhou Zhou called Qiu Fei's mother and comforted her: "Auntie, don't worry, Qiu Fei will be fine, he is a person who knows everything in his heart." Qiu Fei's mother was still uneasy, and said: "The diary mentioned a girl named Han Lu. We didn't know that Qiu Fei had a good time with this girl when he was in school. He wouldn't go to find Han Lu, would he?" Zhou Zhou said: "Probably not, I guess he just wants to live quietly by himself for a while." At night, Qiu Fei would sometimes write down his feelings of the day on his mobile phone, and then randomly input an unfamiliar number and send him a text message.Below are some text messages sent by Qiu Fei. This is my first time on the road. From birth to death, everyone has to experience too many firsts, crying for the first time, smiling for the first time, feeding for the first time, wetting the bed for the first time, failing the exam for the first time (some people do not have this item), the first lie, the first wet dream or menstruation, the first insomnia, the first time watching porn, the first time pulling the hand of the opposite sex, the first kissing, the first having sex, the first getting paid , first marriage, first parenthood, first diaper change, first extramarital affair.And finally the first death. The role of dreams is to beautify reality. If you can't use dreams as horses, then use dreams as crutches. Without dreams, walking may be a little wobbly. In a trance, I have a feeling of deja vu about what happened, as if I have experienced it before, and the scene that is happening is completely consistent with the impression in my mind.Time, place, people, including the weather are exactly the same.But I don't know what should happen next, but what happens next is still consistent with the impression in my mind. And sometimes depressed.I don't want to be depressed, but I can't do it, my age is here. It's like getting acne when you get older. Acne is a pustule that grows on the body and can be squeezed, but depression is a pustule that grows on the spirit and can never be squeezed because it cannot be touched.I don't know why and depressed. Looking back, I took a lot of detours. At the beginning, I really wanted to do it in one step, but it was impossible. People who can only eat eight steamed buns will not be full if they eat the eighth steamed bun. It's so silly to hear two kids bragging to each other today. I did the same back then.I feel great about myself, except that I can't pass the exam.Even if you give me a country, I can manage it well and make it prosperous, strong, free and democratic. Now, I find that I can't even manage myself well. A person's life is doomed to live passively, and everyone's birth is not their own subjective will. Therefore, freedom is the pursuit of all human beings. In reality and in my dreams, I couldn't be brave enough to stand on the edge of a cliff and dare not jump. Occasionally in the dream, I fell off the cliff a few times, but I also stumbled, and I didn't jump by myself. Can't I even beat my dreams? The ideal is to be idle and have nothing to do, dig a hole, and accidentally fall into it. I scratched desperately (in Beijing dialect, please don't change it), trying to climb out, but the more I grabbed, the bigger the pit became, and the deeper I sank. Either sit and wait, or keep digging, digging through the earth and falling out the other end. On the train, I heard a drunk middle-aged Beijing man talk about how awesome he was when he was young. I was tired of listening and fell asleep.In order not to offend the drunk, the people next to him forced a smile to show how lively and interesting his conversation was. It would be embarrassing not to reminisce about the good old days to someone younger than you. Behind the phenomenon is the essence, what is behind the essence? in front of life I will always be a poor student can't get the correct answer These text messages generally do not receive a reply. Therefore, Qiu Fei felt that either he was abnormal or the society was abnormal. Zhou Zhou's mother didn't know that Qiu Fei disappeared suddenly, and asked Zhou Zhou to bring him back for dinner.Zhou Zhou lied, saying that Qiu Fei was on a business trip, and he helped Qiu Fei lie to her mother, saying that he didn't get the certificate for the second time because his company rushed over suddenly. Zhou Zhou's mother said: "Go to work after receiving the certificate, and there will not be much delay." Zhou Zhou said, "It was urgent work that day." Zhou Zhou's mother said: "Then let's choose another day for you." Zhou Zhou said, "We'll talk about it when he comes back from a business trip. Don't worry." Zhou Zhou's mother said: "Aren't you coming back after a few days of business trip?" Zhou Zhou said: "There are a lot of things going on this time, so I don't know when I will come back."