Chapter 2 Chapter One

If life is a test paper, 60 points is enough, but many times you can't even get 60 points, and you have to make up the exam. Three years ago, I folded once, and then I was struggling to find opportunities to make up the exam. However, no one has sent me papers. Occasionally, I get a paper in my hand, and when I open it, it is not the one I want to take. I am waiting for someone. In order for Zhou Zhou to be able to find me when he wanted to contact me one day, after I lost my mobile phone, I could have changed to a new number, but I still went through a lot of hard work, rummaged through the boxes and cabinets to find the original card password, and reissued a new one.

But the phone call that was supposed to come still didn't come. When Zhou Zhou left me, the whole world was gray in my eyes. The sky, city, street, crowd, traffic lights, without exception, were lifeless gray.Only at night is it not gray, it's all fucking dark. Men and women, it's like buying a house.From the day a man was born, there was a girl in this world who should have belonged to him. At this time, a girl is like an off-plan house to a boy.If a boy does not have a girlfriend when it is time to have a girlfriend, it is equivalent to delaying the delivery of the house.Later, the boy had a girlfriend and began to fall in love, which was equivalent to decorating.If the two of you can't talk well and break up, just think that the decoration is over and you don't like it, and reinstall it.Later, when the two got married, they moved in.If you get divorced, if you don’t take it seriously, you will move back home; if you are emotional, it will be an earthquake and the house collapsed.

After Zhou Zhou left, my whole life collapsed. I used to hang on MSN and QQ 24 hours a day, waiting for her to go online, from day to night, and from night to day, obviously her avatar was in front of my eyes, but I just couldn’t contact her, this feeling is so real Mom is uncomfortable. Zhou Zhou's avatar has never been turned on. Day after day, year after year, I can only watch the age in her profile gradually get older as the system updates. When I really can't think about it, I leave a message to Zhou Zhou. Although I know she won't see it, I have to say the words that are stuck in my chest.The message went from one in the first few minutes to one in the last few days and weeks, but Zhou Zhou has not been online for a long time. I gradually calmed down, accepted the reality, and stopped leaving messages.

In order to fill the emptiness in my heart, I desperately searched for things to do. No matter who asked me for help, whether reliable or not, I would go there, so that I would never be idle for a moment. Once I was free, I would think of Zhou. Boat, it will be uncomfortable again. After failing the first postgraduate entrance examination, I took the second examination and passed.The feeling of being admitted was not as good as expected. Except for paying the tuition fee in September every year, I didn’t feel that I was a graduate student at other times.The tutor basically ignored us, and saw him twice a year. Once, we met by chance in the men's room, and we didn't talk about serious matters. We just criticized the irresponsibility of the school's logistics, which made the toilet always smell like a toilet.The teacher in charge of the class is also more relaxed than when I was an undergraduate. I no longer feel like a student.

One more year to graduate. Every night I lie in bed thinking, I don't know what the future holds, and my heart is at a loss. I comfort myself: the future is just going to bed, and when I wake up, the future will come. Life is like this, no matter if you fall asleep or not, the future will come as scheduled. But the days before the future are too difficult. Whenever I can't sleep late at night, I sit at the desk, turn on the computer, light a cigarette, look at Zhou Zhou's photo, see her smiling in the photo, I am in a daze, recalling our beautiful past, until the cigarette burns hand.Squeeze out, then light another one.

When I was in college, I wrote a song called "Growth", "As the days pass, the body grows taller day by day, the happiness decreases day by day, and insomnia troubles day by day." Looking back now, I really groaned without illness.Although depressed at that time, it was much happier than now. Maybe ten years later, when I look back now, I will also feel groaning.But now the pain has tortured me enough.Others said, it seems that you are in good condition.But the pain in my heart, who knows. I often long to go back to more than ten years ago, when I was just in high school, there was no love, no depression, no ideals, and every day was sunny, simple and happy.

My name is Qiu Fei, and I live in Beijing with Yang Yang, Ma Jie, Zhang Chaofan and others.We were born here, grew up here, went to school here, made money here, and grew old here. We are all ordinary people, live the lives of ordinary people, eat ordinary people's meals, wear ordinary people's clothes, ride in ordinary people's cars, speak Mandarin, and drink ordinary Yanjing. Beijing is loaded with us, as well as our dreams and joys and sorrows. I have reached the tail end of my twenties, and I am about to stand up, but I don't know what to do. My youth is not gone yet, there is some left for me.I also want to use this remaining youth to realize some value in life and find the meaning of life.

But Zhang Chaofan often said: "Life is meaningless at all. It is nothing more than eating, drinking, buying vegetables and cooking after get off work. If someone insists that life is meaningful, I think it is because he deliberately does not want to live a good life!" Many years ago, I thought he was bullshitting.Now, I don't know if he's right or not. Summer of 2008.Another summer has come, and breaking up with Zhou Zhou seems to be a very distant thing. People often say that time is a test paper, except that it cannot detect diabetes, it can distinguish the true from the false, recognize good from evil, and make you forget the past, but many things with Zhou Zhou are still clearly visible in my mind, no matter how time passes.Because some things simply cannot be forgotten.

Looking back suddenly, everything is like a dream that has just ended. Youth loves to dream, but the dream of the past is very different from the dream that is over. Some people say that character determines fate, but I think it is fate that is determined by chance. Even one question in a certain exam can determine our fate. Even a second of a certain encounter can influence our fate. A certain acquaintance with even one person can change our destiny. Of course, an airplane, a car, a bomb, a bottle of gasoline can change our destiny. In the past, we look forward and cannot see the present.

Now, we look back and it's all fucking accidental. Everything starts by accident and ends by accident. Three years have passed, and many things have happened in these thousand days, and the lives of many people have changed. In order to be able to tell more objectively and concretely, I decided to tell it in the third person.In this way, more people's stories will be presented here. On the opening night of the 2008 Olympic Games, Qiu Fei, Yang Yang, Ma Jie, and Zhang Chaofan sat in Yang Yang's office and sighed about youth and life.The table was already in a mess, beer bottle caps were scattered among several disposable lunch boxes, and the food in the lunch boxes was almost eaten, and there were still a few Zhongnanhai cigarette butts soaked in old vinegar and peanuts.A Sprite Gail was mixed in with the beer Gail. This belonged to Zhang Chaofan. He didn't drink alcohol, and sat on one side of the table with a glass of Sprite. The other three people guarded their respective beers and sat on the other three sides of the table.

The desk is Yang Yang's boss's desk. Only the fax machine on it seems to be related to office work. Without it, this desk looks no different from the desk in the school cafeteria. It is the same grease twist, but it is smaller. After Yang Yang graduated from the Chinese Department a year ago, he went to an advertising company and worked as a planner for a period of time. He wrote the copywriting of advertisements and feature films every day. There are tens of millions of film and television products, and his salary is still several thousand yuan. No matter how much he writes, he will get the money, and he is not signed for the TV series.Yang Yang went to the boss to reason and wanted to get a commission, but the boss said yes, so there would be no basic salary.Yang Yang did the math, the commission is based on the company's standard, and he can get 5% of the commission. He writes 10 million jobs for the company every year, and he can get 500,000, so he signed a supplementary work agreement with the boss, and he won't get a cent in the future. Basic salary, just commission.After signing, Yang Yang said: "Anyway, I write everywhere. From now on, I will write at home. If there is work, I will send it to me, and I will be called when there is a planning meeting." The boss said: "OK." After staying at home for half a month, Yang Yang didn't receive a job from the company, nor did he receive a call asking him to go to a meeting, so he couldn't sit still and called to ask what was going on.The boss said: "Those who get the basic salary in my job can write well, and I will trouble you when I can't write well." Yang Yang understood what was going on as soon as he heard it, and hung up the phone without swearing.He said that he was mature, and when encountering such a thing before, four majestic words would definitely pop out of his mouth. After losing his job, Yang Yang was very happy. He thought he was overqualified and wanted to change jobs. However, due to the monthly salary guarantee and enough money to buy cigarettes, alcohol and sanitary napkins for his girlfriend, he couldn’t make up his mind. This time Instead, he followed his wish.He also figured out this line, so he decided to do it himself. So I registered a company, rented a house, bought two desks, and purchased an Apple computer, and I was able to take over the work from the early stage to the late stage. But a serious problem loomed - no work. One of the characteristics of the film and television industry is that it does not open for half a year, and it takes three years after opening. Although Yang Yang's company has not opened yet, he is not in a hurry and often comforts himself: Isn't it half a year yet! The members of Yangyang Company are: Chairman Yang Yang, General Manager Yang Yang, Secretary Yang Yang, Financial Director Yang Yang, Office Director Yang Yang, Front Desk Receptionist Yang Yang, Sanitation Cleaner Yang Yang. Ding Xiaole occasionally came to help him. For example, Yang Yang’s parents’ unit gave out some food, and they couldn’t eat it, so Yang Yang took it away. At this time, Ding Xiaole would appear in front of the pile of food in time to help Yang Yang eliminate it.Ding Xiaole is Yang Yang's current girlfriend, a senior student in the Acting Department of the Film Academy. In order to grow the company and strive to be listed on NASDAQ by the end of the 21st century, Yang Yang recruited troops and called Qiu Fei, Ma Jie, and Zhang Chaofan to the company to help out. Once there is work and money is earned, it will be distributed proportionally.Usually everyone does their own thing. Qiu Fei and the others were very satisfied with this, because even if they didn't earn a penny, they didn't pay too much, and they still had a place to drink.Every time a regular meeting is held, Yang Yang is the host. He buys a lot of food and eats while eating. Sometimes when he is happy, he calls the supermarket downstairs to bring some beer. The reason why these few people can get together is because they are all passionate, ambitious, and ignorant at the same time, and no one will laugh at or discriminate against anyone.Although they don't know anything, it is precisely because of this that they dare to take on any job. At that time, the most common sentence they said was: No problem! As long as the job is under 10 million yuan, they dare to agree.Because they firmly believe that the people who come to you for more than 10 million jobs are usually unreliable, and even if there are reliable ones, they will not be able to find jobs with such a large amount of money. No matter who gets which company has the needs of film and television shooting, even if it’s a wedding, they will contact by text message—it’s too expensive to make a mobile phone call, and make an appointment to meet with that company downstairs, discuss an idea after meeting, and then call relatives and friends A friend asked how much it would cost to realize this idea. After getting the average market price, first analyze whether the boss of this company is educated. If not, multiply the average price by two. If you are not sure, multiply by 0.8, and then If you are not sure, just multiply by 0.5. After reaching a consensus, you will go upstairs to negotiate.In the elevator, you need to consolidate it again, so as not to forget the quotation of any details, and fear that the other party will be scared away if the quotation is too expensive.Of course, the most important thing is that when discussing in the elevator, you must see if there is anyone, in case that person is the boss of the company, it is not like they have never encountered such a thing.Once in the elevator, they said in front of a person: "This kind of stupid X boss is not lying or lying." They began to imagine a better life after earning money, but when they got off the elevator, this person entered with them. The company I was going to, and entered the general manager's office, and invited them to come in and sit in. At that time, their understanding of the word "stupid X" suddenly deepened. The original intention of the four of them getting together this evening was to talk about some serious business. Yang Yang took on a job to shoot a series of mobile phone short videos, one for five minutes, ten in total, each costing 10,000 yuan.Yang Yang did the math, if the script didn't have many scenes and characters, he could shoot two a day, and the actors would find students from the performance department of various art colleges, and the four of them would do the rest of the work, and the cost of each episode would be controlled at Within 2,000 yuan, you can earn 80,000 yuan in less than a week. Yang Yang thinks this is a good job.After listening to his analysis, the other three also said that they really did a good job! So everyone talked about what to shoot, and Ma Jie said that the industry of making porn movies is already very developed in Japan, forming a one-stop production and sales process, and has created many stars, and even held a special movie festival for porn movies. Best Actor and Supporting Actor Award, as well as Best Director, Screenwriter, Photography, and Recording Awards. With the deepening of reform and opening up, this cultural industry will sooner or later take root in China, and online short films do not need to be censored by the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television. However possible.Speaking of this, Ma Jie rubbed his hands, and said with a smile: "Don't look for the actor from the acting department. Isn't it based on the principle of not spending the money that can be spent? I will act when the time comes, and I will bring an actor." Mask, no one can recognize me on the street after the filming." Qiu Fei said: "Get out, what else do you know other than pornography!" Ma Jie's biological age is twenty-nine, but his mental age has been stuck at nineteen, and his words are never on point. Zhang Chaofan said: "If you want to make a film, make some in-depth films, we are all adults." Ma Jie said: "It is precisely because I am an adult that I want to make movies for adults. Porn movies can still be made with depth and can be very touching. Moreover, I am starting from the market and can also take into account the artistry." Yang Yang said: "Shut up, you are not allowed to talk about pornography in the future." In previous planning meetings, Ma Jie proposed to make pornographic films. He has changed from a viewer to a practitioner dedicated to its development.Ma Jie said that he is not lustful, but has indeed discovered the huge business opportunities here. When he was a teenager, he spent a lot of money in this area. The money of teenagers is best earned, not for nothing. Qiu Fei said: "Don't forget that you live in a socialist country." Ma Jie said: "Socialist teenagers also have developmental needs!" Qiu Fei said: "Stop talking nonsense with you, people like you deserve to be born in Japan." Ma Jie said: "If it doesn't work, forget it, let me throw bricks to attract jade!" Qiu Fei said: "What kind of bricks are you throwing? It's pure fucking shit!" Proposed a plan, overturned it, proposed it again, overturned it again, and after several discussions, finally reached a consensus: shooting campus short films is both easy to shoot and has an audience.All the videos downloaded from the Internet are students, so let's take pictures of their lives, especially for them to watch. More importantly, Qiu Fei and others are familiar with school life. Later, we continued to chat about this plan, and we talked until it had been six years since we graduated from university, and the four of them sighed at the same time. Zhang Chaofan said: "It's been six years, and I've been an engineer, not a senior engineer yet." After graduating from graduate school, his supervisor introduced Zhang Chaofan to a job in a certain unit directly under the Ministry of Aeronautics and Astronautics, which is still a state-owned enterprise.This time Zhang Chaofan did not refuse again. He said that he was still holding on to the iron rice bowl. State-owned enterprises, as long as the country exists, the enterprise exists. I deeply feel the warmth of state-owned enterprises.During his work, Zhang Chaofan participated in the research and development of a certain part of the Shenzhou-7 rocket, and he played an indispensable role in the development of China's aerospace industry.Although he was not yet at the level to shake hands when the leader went to the base to offer condolences, but when God Ten goes to heaven, he will probably be able to see Zhang Chaofan shaking hands with the leader on TV. Ma Jie said: "Some of our classmates have become fathers. My father is the big me I am now, but I have no offspring, not even anyone who can give birth to me." After graduating, Ma Jie still maintains his true nature of two fools, and two has his own way. It is common sense not to have a daughter-in-law. It is abnormal to have a daughter-in-law, unless the woman is also abnormal.When I was in school, six people shared a dormitory. Zhang Chaofan bought a pair of Brazilian tortoises and kept them in the dormitory. A few days later, Ma Jie bought and robbed them in the morning market. People boasted: "Now we have six bastards in our dormitory!" After graduation, Ma Jie had a few kisses, and after each meeting, the girl didn't even call him.Once, a girl met him for the first time and asked him what his hobbies were, and he immediately said, "I love watching porn!" The girl said after listening, you are quite sincere.Ma Jie said, then you can leave me a call and let you experience my more sincere side in the future.The girl wrote a phone call to Ma Jie, and then left on the pretext of having something to do.The next day Ma Jie called to ask the girl to come out and talk again, but the number he called was an empty number, and he lost contact with the girl since then.Afterwards, Ma Jie said, I am not sad at all, anyway, this girl is not sincere enough. Ma Jie asked Yang Yang: "Why are you sighing?" Yang Yang said: "It's twelve o'clock now, and the supermarket downstairs is closed, so I can't order beer anymore." After speaking, he sighed again.When he is happy, Yang Yang can drink; when he is bored, he can drink too.The more you drink, the more you can make the happy people happier and the bored people no longer bored. But after waking up, the happy people are still happy, and the bored people are even more bored.Yang Yang thought of his past, present and future, feeling nothing, poured the last bottle of beer into the glass and said, "If anyone wants to drink after this bottle, there is still a bottle of cooking wine in the kitchen." Ma Jie asked Qiu Fei: "Why are you sighing?" Qiu Fei said: "No reason, drinking makes my chest tight, and it feels good to sigh." In fact, it was he who thought of Zhou Zhou.If there is anything in the university that left Qiu Fei the deepest memory, it is Zhou Zhou.Zhou Zhou is the witness of his youth, witnessed his growth, witnessed his youthful frivolity, and also witnessed his fragility.The past is like a movie, flashing before Qiu Fei's eyes. In the summer of 1995, a thin and small boy came out of the examination room of the high school entrance examination. His name was Qiu Fei.With a smile on his face, he was in a happy mood, because he had seen a big problem in the tutorial book, and he got it in ten minutes.Not long after, the score came out, and he was two points higher than the high school admission score, so he went to high school.Some of his junior high school classmates went to technical secondary schools, some went to vocational high schools, and some went to technical schools. From then on, they started different life journeys. In high school, Qiu Fei hadn't fallen in love with any girl yet. He didn't know what liking was, but he had a slight liking for the pretty girls in his class, and he laughed and played with them.His hobby is playing football, and his favorite is physical education.He doesn't know what the future is, he doesn't know what life is, but he knows that he is happy to spend every day playing football, comics, and fighting. Homework, must go home after school. In the summer of 1998, Qiu Fei's college entrance examination ended.The moment he got the admission notice, he was full of longing for the university.He began to live in school and felt that his life was much more free.One day, Qiu Fei heard a rock tape, felt very powerful, and fell in love with it ever since.Another day, Qiu Fei had nothing to do and read a book in the library for a day, and he discovered a new world in the book.So he started to read books, listen to rock music and think about life. He felt that he had grown up.He doesn't like growing up, because when he grows up, he will be less happy.On the road of thinking about the meaning of life, Qiu Fei became more and more confused. He found that the happy childhood and youth were gone forever, and he became a young man. The young Qiu Fei started drinking, and often drank with his classmates until the restaurant closed.At that time, no matter how much I drank, I would not feel uncomfortable the next day, and I still got up to play football, play cards, and squander my youth. Suddenly one day, Qiu Fei felt that he should find a girlfriend.Soon after, a girl named Zhou Zhou became his girlfriend.Four years seems to be a long time, but it is so short in retrospect.In the blink of an eye, he and Zhou Zhou graduated, and the two also broke up, but they still miss each other.He realized a truth: don't hold hands casually if it's okay, and don't let go casually if something happens. In the summer of 2008, Qiu Fei was no longer that skinny boy.He seldom plays football anymore. When he sees teenagers on the field, he thinks of his boyhood and misses it very much.Now, he knows what the future is.His present is the future of 1995.But now the future, he does not know where. Now Qiu Fei seldom reads books or listens to rock music. He feels that he is already an adult, and he no longer needs to seek answers to life from others.Life has no answers.Occasionally he drank late, but the next day he began to feel bad, and he felt that there was not much youth left to squander. He was of marriageable age, but not yet ready for marriage, and he did not know whom to marry. He wanted news from Zhou Zhou. There was a row of beer bottles on the floor, extending to the base of the wall, the table was covered with bottle caps, and there were more cigarette butts in the lunch box than peanuts. Yang Yang said: "We haven't been drunk for a long time." After graduation, there are not many things worth getting drunk. Zhang Chaofan looked at his watch and said, "I have to go back." Qiu Fei said: "What's the rush, anyway, you won't go to work tomorrow Saturday, so it won't delay your contribution to the construction of the motherland's aviation industry." Zhang Chaofan said: "I can't hold it anymore. I never stayed up so late during my third year of high school review." Yang Yang said: "Sit for a while, if you can't keep your eyes on you, go to my room and sleep." Yang Yang rented an office with two rooms and one living room. The treasury will be used exclusively for money in the future. Zhang Chaofan said: "That's where you and Ding Xiaole sleep, I don't sleep." Zhang Chaofan was a little embarrassed to lie on the bed where the woman slept. Qiu Fei said: "Zhang Chaofan still has this problem. It turns out that Zhou Zhou was lying on the bed in my dormitory. He didn't even sit up. Once I asked him a question, he squatted and talked to me for ten minutes." Yang Yang suddenly said, "I saw Zhou Zhou that day!" The scene suddenly became quiet. The people present first glanced at Yang Yang, and then all focused their eyes on Qiu Fei. Qiu Fei didn't raise his head, took a sip of wine and said, "I often see a certain woman on the street who looks like Zhou Zhou, either with her hairstyle, her body, her back, or her walk. Every time I run to her Look, I am very disappointed every time I watch it, not only because she is not Zhou Zhou, but also she is much uglier than Zhou Zhou." Yang Yang said: "I'm sure I read it right. She was with a man, and I even talked to her." After speaking, he poured the last bit of wine in the bottle into the glass, and raised the glass to drink again. Ma Jie snatched Yang Yang's wine glass and said, "You must have drunk too much, stop drinking!" Qiu Fei stopped Ma Jie: "Don't grab his drink, let him finish talking." "I lied to you that you are grandsons!" Yang Yang said after drinking the wine in his glass. Ma Jie said: "That won't work, you have to make it clear, you lied to us, you are our grandson." "Yes, if I want to lie to you, you are all my grandfathers." Yang Yang picked up his glass and wanted to drink again, but found that the glass was empty, "Is there any more wine, pour me some more." Qiu Fei poured the wine in his glass to Yang Yang. Ma Jie said: "I still have half a glass, not enough to give you mine." Zhang Chaofan also regained his energy and stopped arguing to sleep. The three of them stared at Yang Yang intently. Yang Yang took the Zhongnanhai cigarette case as a gavel, patted the table and said, "Let's talk... let's talk... let's talk..." He got stuck and didn't know how to continue. Ma Jie became impatient, "Don't just talk about it, talk about it!" Yang Yang patted Zhong Nanhai again and said, "By the way, the last time Ding Xiaole and I went to Pizza Hut to eat pizza, just as I was about to put a piece of salmon pizza into my mouth, when I looked up, I saw a young man not far from diagonally opposite." A beautiful woman is looking at me..." Ma Jie interrupted Yang Yang and said: "You are not honest when you take Ding Xiaole to dinner, your eyes are looking around." "Don't interrupt, let Yang Yang continue." Qiu Fei said. Yang Yang said: "Since the girl looked at me, I looked at her a few more times, and found that she looked familiar, so I turned on the memory search function, and suddenly realized that this is Zhou Zhou!" Ma Jie said: "What did Zhou Zhou make you realize? He is half of our dormitory. If it were me, I would recognize him at a glance." Yang Yang said: "The problem is that I didn't expect to see her there, and the man next to her seriously interfered with my thinking. If Zhou Zhou ate there alone, I would immediately remember." Ma Jie glanced at Qiu Fei. Qiu Fei said, "What did you two say later?" Yang Yang said: "After I recognized her, I didn't dare to confirm it. When I was hesitating, she came over to say hello to me. I had no choice but to put down the pizza I was about to eat." Zhou Zhou walked to Yang Yang's desk, and Yang Yang also stood up.Zhou Zhou said, what a coincidence!Yang Yang said, yes, why are you here? When did you return to China?Zhou Zhou smiled lightly and said, I haven't left all this time.