Chapter 10 sad

I stopped again. After she took a few steps forward, she stopped when she saw that I was not following. "Why didn't the heroine shed tears from the beginning to the end?" "Because I don't want to cry." "Then what do you do when you're sad?" "Just draw. It's usually a way to get over the sad feeling." "What if it's a great sadness? Or a grief that's overwhelming?" "True sadness has no tears." I was still chewing on what she said in a daze. She saw that I hadn't moved for a long time, so she walked down and came to my side.

I recovered, smiled, and we started walking up again. Not long after I left, I saw Li Yan and Miss Li walking down from a distance. "Hi!" Miss Li waved her hand and said loudly, "Ke Xue!" Kexue and I stopped, and Kexue also waved to them. "Li Yan and I are going to have a cup of coffee." After they approached, Ms. Li said, "Shall we go together?" "Okay." After Ke Xue finished answering, she looked at me, and I nodded. My third visit to that spa cafe. The proprietress, who seemed to be in her forties, finally couldn't bear it and said to me: "You are such an amazing guest. The first time you come alone; the second time there are two people; the third time it becomes four people. Next time What? How many people will it be?"

I smiled and said nothing. Drinking the first cup of coffee is called enjoyment; the second cup is acceptable; the third cup can only be endured. We sat down, Ke Xue sat next to me, and Li Yan sat across from me. As soon as Ms. Li sat down, she said, "Ke Xue has painted me, Li Yan, do you want to see it?" "Okay." Li Yan said. Ke Xue took out the drawing book, and the three of them began to admire the painting, laughing while looking at it. "I'm very envious." Ms. Li said to me. I laughed dryly. "Do you want to see it?" Miss Li said again, "If you want to see it, please ask me."

"I beg you don't let me see." "You kid!" Miss Li knocked on my head, and Ke Xue and the others laughed happily. "You draw well." Li Yan said, "Did you learn to draw?" "Yeah." Ke Xue nodded, "I study art." "Then what do you do for work?" "I worked as a switchboard and as a handyman in an American cram school." "Same as me." Li Yan said. "Really?" Ke Xue asked, "What did you learn?" "I study music." Li Yan replied. "We haven't applied what we've learned." Kexue smiled.

"But I think doing this job can give me a sense of life." Li Yan said. "I do this job for a living." Ke Xue said. We were silent for a while, Ms. Li focused on the painting with her as the model, Li Yan and Ke Xue looked at each other and smiled, and did not continue talking. I turned my head and looked out the window, but the hot spring water flowing outside the window continued to steam, and the window was always blurred. "What do you most want to do?" Li Yan broke the silence. "I want to hold a solo exhibition." Ke Xue said, "What about you?"

"I want to hold a personal recital." Li Yan replied. It may be that their answers are very tacit, so they both laughed at the same time. "What about you?" Ke Xue asked me, "What do you want to do most?" "Yes." Li Yan also echoed, "What do you want to do most?" "I want to see Ke Xue's art exhibition and listen to Li Yan's concert." I said. My answer made them both laugh again. "What do you most want to do?" I tried to wake up Miss Li who was still looking down at the painting. "Hmm..." Ms. Li raised her head slowly, pointed to her portrait and said, "I want to lose weight."

The three of us laughed at the same time, and I laughed the loudest, even a little out of control. When checking out, Ms. Li insisted on a treat because Ke Xue gave her the painting. After leaving the cafe, the four of us walked up the mountain in a single file. Gradually, Li Yan and Ke Xue walked in front; Miss Li and I walked behind. Li Yan and Ke Xue talked and laughed along the road. Although their voices were soft, they could still be heard in the silent night. Because Ms. Li has short legs and can't walk fast, the distance between me and them is getting farther and farther. Their chatting and laughing also became more and more subtle with the distance.

In the end, I only heard Li Yan's voice. At first I was very curious and thought that Ke Xue had stopped talking, so I only heard Li Yan's voice. Upon closer inspection, they continued to talk without interruption. In the next few minutes, I still only heard Li Yan's voice. Although I couldn't hear Kexue's voice, and couldn't see her face clearly in the dim light, Kexue's expression when she spoke was very bright in my heart. I suddenly had a feeling that if we use painting to describe Li Yan and Ke Xue, then Li Yan is the painting that makes me hear voices?

And Ke Xue is the painting that makes me feel something in my heart? I subconsciously quickened my pace, leaving Miss Li behind. Accidentally, the manuscript of the novel rolled into a roll in my hand fell, and I knelt down to pick it up. There are only these five words on the front page, Ke Xue is in the bright place; Yishu was covered by my figure and hid in the dark. The moment she picked up the manuscript, what Ke Xue said flashed through her mind, there are two kinds of people who want to be the best hair stylist, and those who want to have the best hairstyle. And the best hairstylist doesn't have the best haircuts because he can't do it himself.

So even if Ke Xue is the best painter, she cannot fully present herself in the painting. In the same way, even if I am the best writer, can I not fully present myself in the novel when I regard myself as Yishu? And part of the reason why Dadong can't see where the love is in the movie is also because I can't fully present Yishu's emotions? Ke Xue can find her complete self in my novels, but what about me? Recalling the paintings of Ke Xue I have seen, I find that my figure and feelings are fully presented. It turned out that I also found my complete self in Ke Xue's painting.

"Why are you in a daze?" Miss Li patted my head lightly. I recovered and saw that I was still squatting, so I stood up. "Let's go, they are waiting for us." I looked up and saw that they had arrived at the entrance of the hot spring hotel, and they were waving for us to hurry up. We quickened our pace and caught up. "Let's go to the hot spring again?" Miss Li suggested to them. "Okay." Li Yan said. "Yeah." Ke Xue also nodded. "It would be great if soaking in hot springs can make me thin." Ms. Li said. "Acknowledge the facts. Too much foam will only peel the skin, not the fat," I said. "You should also accept the fact." Ms. Li said with a smile, "We three beauties are going to soak in the hot spring, and you can only go back to your room to sleep by yourself." "The truth is there are only two beauties." As soon as I finished speaking, I ran away, not giving Ms. Li a chance to use violence. When I went back to the room, another colleague was not there, so I didn't know where to go for a walk. Lie on the bed, read my novel again, and carefully examine Yishu's inner world. I found that Yishu is like the person in the painting "Where is the Love", always looking for love by looking and listening. But they don't know that love is already in their arms, as long as they feel it with their heart, they can detect it. I picked up the pen and tried to calm my heart, but the words I wrote were not without excitement. It's like fishing. In the process of writing, the pictures drawn by Ke Xue kept appearing in my mind, one after another, especially the three paintings I saw in Ke Xue's home: pain, depression and heaven. I think these three paintings reveal the most part of Ke Xue, and they are also the pictures she draws that are closest to fully presenting herself. I also thought of Ke Xue once said that if you have a strong feeling for a painting, then you may be a relative or lover of this painting. If this is the case, for Ke Xue's paintings, am I a relative?Or a lover? After thinking about it, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was ready to start the journey of the next day. Li Yan and Ms. Li seem to like Ke Xue very much. Whenever they get off the bus at a scenic spot, they always surround Ke Xue. Sometimes Xiao Liang wants to squeeze in to join in the fun, but Ms. Li can always make him retreat in due time. Miss Li's character is like a security guard, and her body is more similar. I usually meditate or sleep in the car, and when I get out of the car, I am alone. Occasionally meeting Ke Xue's gaze, she just smiled. I only had one short swim with the three of them, and that was by chance at the seaside. "The sea in the west is like pizza, which is thin." Ms. Li said, "The sea in the east is like a double-layer hamburger, which feels very thick. Li Yan, what do you think?" "The sea in the west is light music, and the sea in the east is symphony." Li Yan said with a smile. "I think the western sea should be painted with watercolors; the eastern sea is best presented with oil painting." After Ke Xue finished speaking, she looked at me. "The east coast is a rocky coast, and strange rocks and rocks are often seen, but there are very few shallows." I said, "The west coast is a sandy coast, with obvious beaches, and the intertidal zone is wide and wide." I looked at the sea in front of me and said, "So the eastern sea and the western sea..." "Let's go." Miss Li didn't wait for me to finish, she took Li Yan and Ke Xue away with both hands, "This kid is sick, and he said these inexplicable words in front of the beautiful scenery." I froze there, and after a while, I called out to their backs: "Hey! I haven't finished talking yet!" After getting in the car, Ke Xue took the initiative to sit beside me and said, "You haven't finished talking yet." "What words?" "The sea in the east and the sea in the west." "The coast of the west is very gentle, sending away the lover every day, and embracing the lover back with open arms. Therefore, the sea in the west is like a person who often leaves but loves love. " "It's very expressive." She smiled, "Where's the sea in the east?" "The eastern seaboard is proud, arms folded, and never shaken by the lapping of the waves. So the sea in the east is like a person who passionately pursues love and is unyielding. " "Hmm. You have a great imagination." "What about you?" I said. "The sea in the west is relatives, and watercolors should be used to express bright and warm feelings. The sea in the east is lovers, and the colors cannot be diluted. It is best to use oil paintings to express intensity and enthusiasm." I was taken aback when I heard her use the metaphor of relatives and lovers again. "What's wrong?" she said, "Is it not good?" "No." I came back to my senses and said, "The metaphor is too good." "Thank you." She smiled. On the way back, almost everyone in the car was asleep, as were Ke Xue and Li Yan. Instead, I couldn't sleep. I tried to close my eyes, but I always felt that something was rolling in my heart, and I couldn't fall asleep. I simply picked up the novel manuscript and read it again. After reading only a few pages, my eyelids felt heavy. I don’t know how to be thankful that my novels can make people feel calm? Or should it be ashamed that it will make people fall asleep? It was already past ten o'clock in the evening when the car returned to the downstairs of the company. After saying goodbye to each other briefly, everyone scattered like birds and beasts.Xiao Liang ran over and said to Li Yan: "It's very late, it's dangerous for a girl to go home alone. I'll take you back." "No need." Li Yan shook her head, "My father has already sent someone to pick me up." "Oh." Xiaoliang looked very disappointed. "Don't be disappointed." Miss Li patted Xiao Liang's shoulder, "You can send me back." "This..." Xiao Liang hesitated to speak. "I'm also a girl who goes home alone." Miss Li said. A black car picked up Li Yan, Miss Li dragged Xiao Liang along, and Ke Xue and I walked towards the cafe. When I walked to the cafe, I found the boss standing at the door. "Huh?" I looked at my watch, "You should be closed by now." "Don't worry about me." The boss replied to me, and then said, "Come in and have a cup of coffee." Ke Xue turned to me and asked, "Are you okay?" I hesitated for only two seconds, and heard the boss say, "No need to pay." I nodded to Ke Xue and walked into the cafe together. We were still seated at the "reserved" table. Although it is the same cafe, the same owner, and the same table, the scenery outside the window is completely different. I used to drink coffee here from the afternoon to early night, but now it's late at night. Without the bright light outside the window, without the way she draws pictures and I write novels, it makes me feel a little strange and unnatural to sit on a chair. Kexue seemed to be thinking about something, and then she gave a strange smile. "What are you laughing at?" I asked. She put away her strange smile and changed to a normal one, "You must like her very much." "Who do you like?" "Li Yan." I suddenly felt hot at the base of my ears and felt a little embarrassed. The boss brought the coffee, put it on the table, and said, "She's a very nice girl." "You know again." "I knew it the last time you came over for coffee with her." "You came here with Li Yan?" Ke Xue opened her eyes wide. "This..." I felt that my scalp was numb and itchy, and I scratched it a few times, "That's because..." "Huh?" Ke Xue asked. "It's a long story," I said. Ke Xue smiled, seeing that I was very embarrassed, so she stopped asking.After taking a sip of coffee, he asked, "Tell me about Li Yan." "What are you going to say?" "Tell me why you like her." "No way." I felt a little guilty. "Don't forget," Ke Xue smiled, "I've read your novel." "Are you really going to tell me?" "Yeah." She nodded, "Because I want to hear it." "The first time I saw Li Yan, I found she was very beautiful. It didn't take long for me to feel that I liked her." I took a sip of my coffee and said, "Isn't that superficial?" "Superficial?" Ke Xue asked, "Why do you say that?" "I don't know what kind of person she is, but I like her just because she is beautiful. Isn't that superficial?" "If liking beautiful things is superficial, then all those who study art are superficial." "why?" "Because people who study art are pursuing beauty." She smiled, and continued: "It's natural to like beautiful people, things, and things, not superficial." "Is that right?" "The reason why we like a painting is very simple, it is because of beauty. Do you like this painting because it has a good heart, kind personality, filial piety to parents and service to the country?" After she finished speaking, she thought it was funny, so she laughed. "Besides, people who like beautiful paintings are called taste; those who like beautiful appearance are called superficial. It's not fair to say that." She was still smiling, and I smiled too. "Although some paintings are beautiful, they are just beautiful. The feeling of liking is very simple; but some paintings can make people resonate or feel, and that is a deeper liking." "Hmm." I nodded in agreement. "If Li Yan were a painting, what would your feeling be?" "At first, I just liked it, but then I felt that I could hear voices." "and then?" I thought about it carefully, "There is no more, it's just like this." "What about me?" "you?" "Hmm. If I were a painting, how would you feel?" Although I already have an answer to this question, when faced with it suddenly, I cannot answer it directly. And this question is not as simple as whether you are full, what the weather is like, or what time it is. "Closed." The boss showed up at our table and said this. "Why did you suddenly say you were going to close?" "It's not good to go back too late." The boss began to clear the cups and plates on the table. "How did you start caring about me?" I asked. "I don't care about you," said the boss. Ke Xue smiled, packed her things, and I walked out of the cafe with her. We walked slowly to her car and I helped her put her things away and she started the car. "Your question just now, I think..." "It's okay." She rolled down the car window, "Tell me after you think it through." Then she rolled up the window, waved her hand, and drove away. While I was still hesitating on how to answer her, her car was already engulfed in darkness. I got on the last MRT train and I went home. The living room was completely dark, I guessed that Dadong was probably not there, so I went straight back to the room. After taking a shower, I turned on the computer and wanted to write the progress of the past two days into it. After only writing for a few minutes, I yawned again and again. He turned off the computer, threw himself on the bed, and soon fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, I felt very energetic, probably because I had a good sleep last night. How lucky to find ten yuan on the ground when I went to work. As soon as he walked into the company's gate and looked at the clock on the wall, it was exactly eight o'clock, and a smile appeared on his face. Li Yan also smiled, cleared her throat, and began to sing: "Dear Hai, don't you have a lot to say? Why do you always talk one after another? Don't think your turbulence, I can't feel; I know that the waves you stir up are flowers, which are the greetings of lovers. Please look at my heart, which has been eroded and washed away by you. But I am a rock, and I can only choose to be silent. " I have never heard the melody and lyrics of this song, so it should be another song composed by Li Yan herself. "How is it?" Li Yan asked. "It sounds very good, with a feeling of surging. What is the name of the song?" "I haven't named it yet." "How can there be no name for such a beautiful song?" "That's it..." She thought for a while, "Then, let's call it Sea and Rock." "Sea and rocks?" I said, "Well, not bad." "Thank you." She smiled. Walking to my desk with the song still playing in my head. Li Yan’s naming method is very similar to mine. I call the novel: Yi Shu and Ke Xue; She called the song: Sea and Rock. It seems that she and I are also not very good at picking names. However, this song is really nice. Today the boss called a meeting with everyone. He said that the economy is gradually recovering and the company's business is also starting to grow. It won't be long before you can go back to work and your salary will return to normal. Logically speaking, this is good news, but my first reaction when I heard it was: can I have a cup of coffee with Ke Xue after get off work? If normal get off work is resumed, then the off work time is 5:30, but it is usually delayed until 6:00. Ke Xue had to go to work at 6:30, and had to leave the cafe around 6:10. Could it be that when I just walked to the cafe, Ke Xue was about to leave? Just like the plot of the movie "Eagle Girl": a man is a man by day and a wolf by night; a woman is an eagle by day and a man by night. The two are destined not to meet each other in human form, and can only catch a glimpse at the short time between day and night. "It's so sad." I couldn't help but sighed and shook my head. "You don't have to be sad," said the boss. "Really?" "Just don't do this job." My thoughts immediately went back to the meeting scene, the boss was staring at me, I scratched my head and shut up quickly. If the company's business starts to grow, then the days when work is more leisurely now, I'm afraid it will be a memory. I have been writing novels for a long time, and I seem to have forgotten my job, thinking that writing novels is the focus of my life, which is really not right. Having said that, writing novels can be given up, but it is absolutely impossible for me to give up the opportunity to have a cup of coffee with Ke Xue. Just by thinking about it, I feel that this is something worthy of sadness. After get off work, when I went to the cafe to drink coffee with Ke Xue, I was still thinking about this matter. Ke Xue asked me what happened?I recounted to her what the boss had said in the meeting. She said it's okay, there's still Saturday and Sunday. I thought it was right, so I stopped asking for trouble. But I forgot to tell Ke Xue: she is a painting that makes me feel something in my heart. And she didn't continue to ask. I think this is fine, because like what Li Yan sang: I am a hard rock, and I can only choose to remain silent. On the way home by MRT, I suddenly thought: I don’t need to tell Ke Xueming. I just need to write down my feelings for Kexue, won't that be enough? In this way, Ke Xue will understand after reading the novel. Figured this out, I couldn't help laughing out loud on the MRT train. After returning home, there was another piece of good news: Dadong's script was finally finished. Dadong is very excited, he finds Eagle Man and Snake Girl, and asks Xiaoxi to cook for everyone. While Xiaoxi was busy in the kitchen, Dadong explained the ending of the script in the living room. The more he talked, the more complacent he was, and he was still standing on the sofa bouncing back and forth, a little carried away. "You are usually very calm, but when you encounter exciting things, you seem too excited." I said. "Yes." Eagle Man said, "This is a shortcoming." "Yeah." Snake Girl also nodded. "The lion is already the king of beasts, but it can't, because it can't fly, so let's say it's not good." When Xiaoxi uttered these profound words from the kitchen, the mouths of the three of us were frozen at the same time; Dadong also almost fell off the sofa. During the meal, the atmosphere was originally very lively, but the snake woman suddenly burst into tears. Have you ever seen a snake cry?Or, can you imagine? So I was speechless in amazement. "Why are you crying?" Eagle Man asked. The snake girl wiped her tears in embarrassment and said, "I'm so ugly now, so don't talk to me." "Have you ever been beautiful?" Hawkman said. Snake Girl's face immediately turned from white to blue, which was even faster than the "face change" in Sichuan opera. After Eagle Man took three heavy blows, Dadong asked Snake Girl, "What's wrong?" "It's okay." Snake Girl replied, "I just feel sad suddenly." "Oh?" I was curious. "I feel sad for myself whenever I see other people happy." After the snake girl finished speaking, she glanced at Dadong and Xiaoxi. "When I see others are sad, I feel happy." Eagle Man said. "Do you still want to be beaten?" Snake said. Hawkman closed his mouth wisely. After dinner, Dadong discussed with Yingman and Snake in the living room, and Xiaoxi was also there. They mainly discussed the next script of Snake Woman and Hawk Man. After listening to it for a while, I went back to my room to write my novel. As I was writing, I thought of something like sadness. Sadness is really a magical emotion, which always comes silently, all the time, and inexplicably. Fortunately, I still slept soundly and was not affected by this emotion. But when I entered the office the next morning, I felt sad because it was past 8:1. When I walked in dejectedly, I heard Li Yan say: "Don't forget the end tooth banquet tonight." "Wei Ya?" I stopped in my tracks, puzzled. "Mr. Zhou said in the meeting yesterday that we will eat tail teeth tonight." "yes?" "You must not be paying attention during the meeting." She smiled. I smiled shyly. During the meeting yesterday, I kept thinking about having a cup of coffee with Ke Xue, so I didn't know that I would have a tail tonight. Li Yan told me the time and place of Wei Ya. The restaurant is in a hotel near the company, and the time is seven o'clock in the evening. This time, the company and three other companies that have business relations jointly hold the end tooth banquet, and there will be about 20 tables. Regarding Wei Ya, my greatest excitement is the anticipation of the lottery. Last year, I won the silk quilt, which covered me softly and softly. Later, I used it to describe Ke Xue's smile. What will be drawn this year? When I was wondering whether I would win the first special prize, the boss called me into his office. He discussed with me how to proceed with new cases, and this discussion lasted all day. After five o'clock, I started to fidget, but the boss showed no signs of letting up. At six o'clock, I finally couldn't help but say, "It's okay." "What can I do?" "Let's end the discussion. If we continue to discuss it, it will be timeless." "It's the sun and the moon without light." "It's good to know." "Huh?" The boss lengthened the end of his voice. I didn't dare to speak anymore, I just sat there, twisting my waist restlessly like a snake girl. "Okay." The boss glanced at me, "Let's continue tomorrow." I rushed out of the boss's office immediately, and the whole company was gone. Panting, I ran to the cafe, opened the door, and the bell on the doorknob rang non-stop. "I..." I propped my hands on the table, out of breath. "Don't worry." Ke Xue smiled slightly, "I don't have to go to work tonight." "Really?" I sat down, "But tonight the company is going to eat its tail." "It's okay, I'll wait for you here." "Ok." "then you go." "No." I smiled, "Have a cup of coffee first." Ke Xue also laughed. After drinking the coffee, I walked directly to the restaurant, which was very close, and it only took ten minutes to walk fast. When we entered the restaurant, the scene was buzzing, as if everyone was talking loudly at the same time. When I was looking around to find a seat to sit down, I saw Miss Li beckoning to me, so I walked over. "I've got a seat for you." She picked up the coat that lay on the chair to her right. Just as she was about to sit down, she said, "I also took one for Li Yan." I looked at the purse on the chair to her left and realized that I had to be vegetarian again tonight. Li Yan came, wearing a light blue dress, shining far from the entrance. When she walked over slowly, the decibels of the scene were reduced by about half. "Let me dress a little more formally tonight." She pointed at some of the accessories on the dress and smiled at me. I smiled and didn't say anything, but suddenly felt that the coat I was wearing was very worn out. The dishes began to be served, and I hadn't seen Xiaoliang yet, so I was relieved. "Hi!" Xiao Liang appeared behind me, with his hands on my shoulders, "Miss me?" I loosened my right hand and the chopsticks fell off. "I'm going back to take a shower and change clothes, and I almost missed it." He sat down, "Li Yan, you look so beautiful tonight." "Thank you." Li Yan smiled. Ms. Li nudged me with her elbow, "Say some compliments, too." I really couldn't compliment Li Yan naturally, so I said to Ms. Li: "You are so strong tonight." "You're courting death!" I received a right hook from Miss Li in the head. From time to time, the winning numbers were called out on the stage, and I took out the lottery tickets to compare them, but I always passed by. Li Yan stood up suddenly, tugged at the hem of her clothes, picked up the cup and said, "Thank you colleagues for taking care of me these past few months. My little sister will replace the wine with fruit juice, and I would like to toast everyone." Ms. Li secretly told me: "I taught her to say this passage." Xiao Liang stood up and raised his glass high, "Li Yan is the glory of our company, let's toast her." I muttered in my heart: If Li Yan is an honor, then you are a disgrace. Although I was reluctant to toast with Xiao Liang, but for Li Yan's sake, I still drank it. The prizes in the lottery are getting bigger and bigger, but the number of winners is getting less and less. I looked at the lottery ticket in my hand, and when I was very nervous, a voice suddenly came from the stage: "Miss Cao Liyan is invited." When I was wondering, Li Yan stood up and said, "It's my turn to play." She walked slowly onto the stage, and the scene was silent for a third; she sat in front of the piano, and the scene was silent for another third; she lifted the piano cover, tried playing a few notes, and the last third was also quiet up. Then there was a burst of applause. Li Yan played a piece of music that was splashing like flowing water. I don't know what song she played, but it sounded like a clatter. Crash, clatter, clatter... I actually thought of the "crash" painting painted by Ke Xue. Why does the song played by Li Yan make me hear the clatter all the time? Before I could get an answer, the music was over. There was warm applause at the scene, and some people shouted loudly: Encore. Li Yan stood up, turned around and saluted. Then he sat down again, and the scene returned to silence again. She cleared her throat, adjusted the microphone next to her, and began to play and sing: "How to make you hear me, after you turn around. It's not that I don't speak, it's just that it's not yet time. Every minute, I live only for you; At the last minute, you couldn't stay for me. Devil, I am willing to use the last of my life in exchange for his turning back for a moment. " When Li Yan sang to me for the first time, she sang this song, and I was completely stunned. Also now. Later, because of the agreed relationship, she sang about 20 songs before and after, but this song was no longer sung. I remember when I heard it for the first time, I thought the melody of this song was beautiful, although it was a little sad, but that kind of sadness was just like the cherry on top of the ice cream, and it didn't affect the taste of the ice cream. But now I hear a sad voice. This sound does not come from the melody, nor from the singing, but from the singer. In other words, Li Yan's singing expression made me hear the voice of sadness. Like a painting that would make me hear voices. After Li Yan finished singing, there was more enthusiastic applause from the audience, but I forgot to clap. How can I clap my hands for a sad voice? Even when the audience burst into thunderous applause when Li Yan's fingers left the keys and the singing stopped, I could still hear the sad voice. It simply cannot be offset by applause, nor can it be covered up. When Li Yan returned to her seat, I noticed that there were no tears on her face, and her expression was calm. But there are still some sad voices in my ears. I don't think I can look at her anymore, at least not now.And she seemed to have a similar mood. So our eyes are like two magnets of the same sex that repel each other, and they bounce off at the same time as soon as they get close. The final banquet is over, and I didn't win any prizes, which is a little sad. When I walked out of the hotel, I saw Li Yan's blue figure in the distance. I hesitated, but walked over. "Let's go for a walk together." Li Yan said. "Hmm." I nodded. Then I looked around, afraid that Xiao Liang would suddenly appear. "Don't worry." She said, "Yu Shan took Xiao Liang to send her back again." "Miss Li is really a good person." I smiled. We walked a few steps side by side, and Li Yan said, "Want to hear my story?" "OK." "I am the only child in my family. My father has spoiled me since I was a child. I have never scolded me since I grew up." I didn't answer, I just hummed briefly, which was the most basic courtesy of the listener. "I am like a flower in a greenhouse, unaware that there is still rain and wind in this world." "It's actually better not to know." I smiled, and Li Yan also smiled slightly. "I studied music. Although I didn't study well, I still love it." "You are too kind." "Later I found that my music was missing something..." She seemed to be thinking of a suitable adjective, "something like vitality." "Ok?" "It's like a bird in a cage. Even though its singing is still pleasant, it always feels a little less loud." "what sound?" "The sound of flapping wings," she said, "or rather, the echo of flying across the valley." "Oh." "I'm like the bird in that cage, but I want to fly out of the cage and flap my wings hard." "Ok." "So I wanted to go out into the crowd and try to live by myself." "Will your father object?" "Yeah." She smiled, "But he finally gave in to my insistence." "Your father still loves you after all." "But he has a condition." "What conditions?" "Only one year." "One year?" "I can only live outside for a year." "Oh." "I started working as an announcer in a department store." She cleared her throat, and then said, "Ms. Cao Liyan, please go to the service desk on the first floor. A friend is looking for you." I smiled, and it suddenly occurred to me that I might have heard her voice when I was visiting a department store before. "Later, I went to work with Uncle Zhou." "Uncle Zhou?" "He's a good friend of my father's." She smiled slightly. "In the company, I call him Mr. Zhou. After get off work, he will naturally be called Uncle Zhou. Uncle Zhou helped me to sing on stage tonight." "I see." I smiled again. "My story is over." She stopped. "Your story is like a novel." I also stopped. "yes?" "Ok." We stood there for a long time without any intention of moving. "Since living abroad, although life has been difficult, I have gained a lot and experienced a lot." She sighed, "I'm actually very reluctant." "What are you reluctant to bear?" "Today is the day when the one-year agreement expires." My throat suddenly choked and I couldn't speak. "Thank you for taking care of me these past few months." I was still speechless, not even a polite word. "Is the song I sang tonight nice?" I nod. "I specially sang it for you." She smiled faintly, and then said, "Then can you tell me another story?" I coughed hard a few times, and finally I could say, "Okay." "Thank you," she said. "Once upon a time there was a boy who studied science. He liked a girl in the company very much. He looked forward to seeing her more every day. But at first, the girl didn't like him. It didn't take long for the girl to realize that she misunderstood the boy, so she stopped hating him. Boy In order to please girls, he would tell stories to girls and do some stupid things. Later, the girl was about to leave the company, and the boy was very sad." "and then?" "There is no more, the story is over." "You can let me do it before." "What was told in the past was a fictional story; what is told now is a true story. Fictional stories can go on and on; but real stories have no after." "Boys can still be with girls." Li Yan said. "Do you think it's possible?" I asked her back. She didn't answer.But in fact no answer is an answer. "Do you know why boys and girls can't be together?" I asked again. "why?" "Because boys and girls live in reality, not in fiction." "This ending is not good." "It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story." Li Yan was silent for a long time after listening, and I followed suit. "I want to play the first word game again." Li Yan broke the silence. "Okay." I nodded. "I'm leaving today." "this." "Won't be coming back." "No." "I have something to tell you." "Have." "Who is the person I like?" "I." "Here comes my car." "Ok." "goodbye." After Li Yan finished speaking, she opened the car door, turned her head, and finally shed tears. The black car quickly disappeared into the night. I didn't hear the car, only the sad voice. I tried to speak, but couldn't come out. Even the hmm, hmm, ahh sound from the throat sounds sad to me. The sad voice has been lingering in my ears, and I can't drive it away. Although he wanted to cover his ears, he thought that this was Li Yan's last voice, so he gave up halfway through raising his hand. I don't know how long I stood there, I finally gritted my teeth and covered my ears hard. After a while, the hand was slowly released, and the sad voice had become smaller and gradually became inaudible. Looking around, I realized that Li Yan and I had been standing opposite that cafe! Suddenly remembering that Ke Xue was still waiting for me in the cafe, I immediately rushed across the road. Pushing open the door of the cafe, Ke Xue was not seen. I saw the boss looked at me coldly. "She's gone," said the boss. "what?" I can finally pronounce it normally. "She left something for you." After the boss finished speaking, he handed me a picture. 画里只有一个女孩子，脸上没有表情。 而她的右手，正拿着笔，在脸颊上画了几滴眼泪。 我完全没听见任何声音，只觉得胸口有股力道在拉扯，很痛。 试着调匀呼吸，但氧气始终不够。 凝视这张画愈久，女孩脸上的泪水便愈多，我彷佛快要被这些泪水所淹没。 我知道这张画的名字了。 它一定就叫做悲伤。