Chapter 5 Section 3

The first time I met Zhuang Yi, Xu Nuan was nineteen years old. That day, it was snowing heavily. At that time, her younger sister, Xu Die, was not yet three years old, a little girl curled up in the pile of shabby quilts in the unfinished building and shivering, like an overripe shrimp.She had been coughing for many days, nestled in Xu Nuan's arms, crying because of the pain while coughing, and finally, she had no strength, could not cough or cry, as if she could only wait for the end of her life. The wind was blowing from all directions, and the tiny snowflakes were mixed in the wind, rolled into the house, fell on Xu Die's red face, and melted instantly.

On the briquette stove picked up from the garbage dump, the leftover dog meat was stewed, and the air was filled with a strong smell of meat, but because there was no seasoning, the aroma had a slight fishy smell. This dog was dragged back by Zhao Xiaoxiong two days ago.At that time, they had not eaten for two days.A few days ago, Zhao Xiaoxiong injured his leg on the construction site, and was kicked out by the foreman. The little extra money left was spent on setting Zhao Xiaoxiong's bones.While Xu Nuan was doing piecework for crocheting sweaters, the boss refused to pay him wages.Therefore, they can only go hungry.

That day, Zhao Xiaoxiong went out with his injured leg.As soon as he came back, he grinned at Xu Nuan as soon as he entered the door, and said, we finally have rations, and we don't have to wait to die. At that time, Xu Nuan was hugging the sick Xiaodie, and when she saw Zhao Xiaoxiong dragging back a dead wolfhound covered in blood, she was shocked. After Zhao Xiaoxiong dragged the dog back, he never got up again, his body was covered in wounds from the dog's bite, he curled up in the corner, gritted his teeth, and refused to moan.Xu Nuan checked his wounds, they were scarlet and hideous, and frostbite had already occurred in some places, and they were connected together.His lower lip was also torn with a small gash that ran down to his chin.Xu Nuan's eyes became sour when he watched, the sockets of his eyes slowly turned red, and tears almost came out of his eyes.

Zhao Xiaoxiong tried hard to open his eyes, looked at Xu Nuan, smiled hard, trembling his injured lips, and said, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I accidentally broke my leg... I clearly promised you , this time we get paid, we will rent a small house to live in, and no longer live in this kind of unfinished building... Alas, I blame me for being useless, and let you...starve. Zhao Xiaoxiong muttered with his mouth open, and accidentally pulled the wound on his lower lip, which made him grin his teeth in pain, but he had to hide it, and smiled forcefully at Xu Nuan. Xu Nuan's tears fell and landed on Zhao Xiaoxiong's wound, the salty tears hurt Zhao Xiaoxiong, his hands tightened, and he tried to raise his hand again, trying to wipe Xu Nuan's tears, but seeing With his hands full of cracks and muddy nails, he shyly shy away his hands—for so many years, Xu Nuan has been quietly blooming like a pure white lotus in his heart, even if she is deeply trapped. In the mud, he has always regarded her as a treasure.

In the end, he could only look at her silently and smile hard to reassure her.He endured the pain and said, fool, I don't hurt, it really doesn't hurt. But the huge pain of being torn between the opening and closing of the lips forced his tears out, but he tried his best to grin for Xu Nuan to see. Xu Nuan covered his mouth with trembling hands, not letting him speak again, her tears couldn't stop falling down. In the stormy city, she and him depended on each other for life. Share a roasted sweet potato, eat a box lunch, and drink a glass of water. That night, nineteen-year-old Xu Nuan endured vomiting and skinned, cleaned, and eviscerated the wolfhound... At that moment, it was their life-saving meal.

Before that, Xu Nuan, like all girls, liked small animals very much. In the past, Meng Gu's family raised a big yellow dog, and Meng Gu called it Ah Huang.Ah Huang's "work" is very busy, either walking with Meng Gu on the way to school, or going to the neighboring village with a dog named Xiao Hei to "drop in" with other dogs.Occasionally, when Xu Nuan went to wash clothes by the river in Peach Blossom Village, Ah Huang would follow behind her, and together with Xu Nuan, there was also Meng Gu's silly uncle, who had picturesque eyes Meng Jincheng, a handsome young man.

The silly Uncle Jincheng, the naughty brother Meng Gu, and Ah Huang who is busy with "work". This used to be the most important part of Xu Nuan's life before she was sixteen. However, after the age of sixteen, a sudden change of fate forced Xu Nuan to follow Zhao Xiaoxiong and escape from Taohua Village and the Meng family who adopted her. Not long before she left Peach Blossom Village, she still remembered that she once stuck a cocklebur on Meng Gu's skirt. The sixteen-year-old girl had not yet opened her eyebrows, but she had a different style. She called him Meng Gu. Brother Gu.He called her by her old name, Ruan Ruan.

Ruan Ruan, I will never lose this cocklebur in my life.Nineteen-year-old Meng Gu once said so. Why? Because this cocklebur is Ruan Ruan, Meng Gu will never leave Xu Ruan Ruan for the rest of his life. you are lying!Grandma said, you will leave Peach Blossom Village by train in a few days, and go to other provinces to study in university... Then I will take this cocklebur.Cocklebur is by my side, Ruan Ruan is in my heart. ... Cocklebur is by my side, Ruan Ruan is in my heart. On a snowy winter night, the smell of dog meat wafted from the unfinished building. Xu Nuan, who was nineteen years old, recalled what Meng Gu had said to him when he was sixteen, and shed tears without warning.

She looked at her younger sister who was tormenting by the charcoal fire, her small body was twitching unceasingly, as if she would die at any moment, which made her feel terrible.She looked back at the teenager Zhao Xiaoxiong who was curled up in the corner. He was bitten by a wolf dog a few days ago, and he could no longer give her and her sister a shoulder to rely on. Xu Nuan knew that those nice promises in his youth were useless, the only thing that could save his sister and Zhao Xiaoxiong was money, to put it nicely, it was RMB, the peachy kind. There is no other choice. Xu Nuan wiped away her tears, looked at her younger sister who looked like a rosy shrimp, and once again strengthened her belief.

Just do it, even if it's wrong! It's the only way to do it, even though it's wrong! That night, Xu Nuan decided to sell her body to a man who could pay to treat Xu Die, no matter how old or ugly he was... Xu Nuan thought hard, close your eyes! So, just like that, in that snowy night, she took advantage of Zhao Xiaoxiong's sleep and walked onto the midnight street.On the chest was the sign left by the wolfhound, which Zhao Xiaoxiong hung up for her tremblingly, saying that he could protect her.In fact, he just felt that a beautiful girl like Xu Nuan had never had a decent decoration.Whenever he passed by those small jewelry stores, he wanted to buy a necklace or something for Xu Nuan.But Xu Nuan's little sister has been weak and sick since she was born, and he and Xu Nuan had to save every penny. Even so, they still had to live in unfinished buildings in the reinforced concrete city.

Midnight in the city, without stars.Xu Nuan looked at the small plaque on his chest, and thought of poor Xiaodie and the wounded Zhao Xiaoxiong, and his heart became a little desperate—in this world, who can protect whom? Bai Xue fell desolately, like a lonely angel, lost in the world.The snow that fell on her was like the kiss of the old man of God. Xu Nuan didn't know how long he had been wandering in this street.The strange men who occasionally walked past her cast curious glances at her, and some looked at her maliciously. She lowered her head, bit her lip, and repeatedly cheered herself up. However, every time a strange man passed by her, she couldn't speak. Meng Gu's appearance kept appearing in his mind.He called her name, and he put the green cocklebur in her palm, soft blue and soft thorns.He smiled so softly and cleanly.Then, he begged her in a low voice—be obedient, Ruan Ruan, go home!Don't betray yourself, wait for me to come back! Ruan Ruan, I've been looking for you.Just for now, I haven't found the road that can lead to you.Please, don't do such a thing, don't! ... Those words that appeared in the illusion, those Meng Gu's calls, like hot oil, splashed on Xu Nuan's heart, making her so painful that she couldn't find her way. She clutched her chest, closed her eyes in pain, tears fell into the wind and snow, she persuaded herself over and over again, give up, give up, give up this shameful idea!Otherwise Meng Gu will never love you again! Then, she smiled self-deprecatingly—you fool, wake up!Meng Gu didn't love you anymore.Three years ago, when he was willing to leave you in Peach Blossom Village and take the train going south by himself, he no longer loved you!If he loves you, he won't let Zhao Xiaoxiong tell you that he doesn't want to see you again when you chase him from Taohuazhai after all the hard work! Yes, I don't love it anymore. No matter who you gave your heart or body to, it will have nothing to do with this man named Meng Gu forever and ever. To him, you are a past tense, someone he no longer cares about. ... Xu Nuan clutched her chest and began to cry, she didn't know what to do.She didn't want to betray herself, and she didn't want to leave that shameful mark on her body!As early as the age of seventeen, she had left too much shame on her body.She also promised Zhao Xiaoxiong that she would never betray herself again.Moreover, although she didn't want to admit it, she still hoped so humblely that one day, when Meng Gu came back to her again, when Ken loved her again, even if she couldn't be as complete as before, at least she could be more. A little purity, even a little bit more, was enough to make her feel at ease. In this world, there will never be the silliest woman, only sillier women.They always have too many fantasies about love, even if the man in this love once hurt her to the point of bruising.Even if she resented so much, she still couldn't help thinking, maybe one day, he would open his arms to her again, even if he just hooked his hands at her. The tragedy of love is that it is never reciprocal.The strength of one person's casual hooking of hands is enough for another person to deliver a lifetime of love and expectations. Xu Nuan closed her eyes with difficulty, and Xu Die's small shadow reappeared in her mind, her small chapped lips, her red face, her twitching body... In the snowstorm, it seemed With her low sobs, she seemed to be waving her little hands, calling her, sister, sister. Her heart seemed to be chopped into pieces by a sharp knife. On a windy and snowy night, in the long alley, Xu Nuan had nowhere to vent his fear and helplessness, like a lost child, waiting for the redemption of fate. Zhuang Yi appeared at this time.He was wearing a black windbreaker, walking quietly in the snowy night, like a snow leopard looking for food, elegant and cold. Xu Nuan's tears had already dried up. She knew that if she hesitated for another minute, Xu Die's illness would get worse. If Xiao Die really died, she would never forgive herself.So, she told herself, close your eyes, close your eyes, and bravely walk towards the person who is walking towards her—— She almost stumbled to Zhuang Yi. Before her cold little hand could touch the corner of his clothes, she was held by his big hand. His hand was so warm, it reminded her of spring in the southern country. Zhuang Yi didn't expect that this girl would stop him. He was naturally defensive and blocked her hand stretching towards his body. He held that cold little hand. This coldness seemed to reveal a kind of great despair, but, He doesn't care about this kind of despair, what he cares about is what the owner of this hand wants to do - is it a pink bomb sent by an enemy in the mall, or a gentle home sent by a conspirator?Or just an ordinary street girl. His voice was cold, his eyes stared at her in the dark, and said, what are you doing? Xu Nuan raised her eyes and looked at the man in front of her. She did not expect that this man was so beautiful, like an angel in the dark night, following the snowflakes.His face was so beautiful that she was a little confused, and she felt that saying such words would tarnish him.However, thinking of the critically ill Xu Die, she still couldn't help trembling and gave up her self-esteem. She stammered, first... sir... take... take me home. Before Zhuang Yi had time to answer, those subordinates who had followed him far away rushed forward one after another when they saw someone "sneak attacking" their boss.Before Xu Nuan finished speaking, a man with slender eyes stepped forward and pushed her away, swearing, looking for death! At the moment that cold little hand was pulled away from his palm, Zhuang Yi's heart suddenly felt an inexplicable softness, as if gently teased by the tenderest spring grass.He seemed a little unbearable, and just as he was about to turn his head to take a closer look at the girl who hadn't seen the whole picture, he was blocked by his subordinates. It was still the man with the slender eyes. He said cautiously and anxiously, "Boss, tonight To do big things. Zhuang Yi's heart shuddered, and he calmed down, as if all the throbbing caused by this cold little hand just now disappeared. He quickly turned around, looked back at Xu Nuan, and left. Many years later, Xu Nuan still remembers the look of Zhuang Yi when he left. That look was like a lotus flower in front of the Buddha, with dense and distant tenderness and care, but in the end, it all withered in the pool. Every time Xu Nuan thought of this encounter, the first encounter between her and Zhuang Yi, she would feel that it was different from the romance novels she had read.In the novel, when the heroine is in trouble, there will always be a pair of big hands, giving her strength and warmth, and taking her away from the desperate situation.But in reality, this is not the case.Although that day, she met Zhuang Yi.However, Zhuang Yi did not stop for her. Sometimes, Zhuang Yi would also think of this encounter. He could clearly feel the great sadness shrouded in this girl at that time. If she hadn't been helpless, she would not have "selled" herself on this snowy night; I wanted to give her some money, tell her to go home quickly, and not to betray her... But in front of the "big event" to be dealt with that day, everything was forgotten. They say that some people, if they miss a step, they are doomed to miss a thousand years. I don't know if they are referring to Zhuang Yi and Xu Nuan. In the wind and snow, after Zhuang Yi and his men gradually left, Xu Nuan hunched over and shivered. On a winter night when people were gradually dispersing, there were occasional cries of babies, which made Xu Nuan terrified. Xu Die. Xu Die. Thinking of her little sister in the unfinished building, Xu Nuan felt like a knife piercing her heart. She held back her tears and said to herself, go all out!Just tonight, forget dignity and shame. Xu Nuan forgot how she summoned up her courage. She grabbed a man by the hem of his clothes and said in despair—Sir, take me home tonight, okay? From the beginning to the end, Xu Nuan never raised his head.She was afraid that she would be rejected, pushed, and looked down upon as before. She didn't remember what the man looked like, she only remembered that he was very thin.He looked at her for a long time, as if he was weighing the value of a commodity, and at the same time he was wondering if the girl in front of him was a trap.In the end, he still fulfilled her humble and desperate request—because the girl in front of him was really beautiful, so pretty that he was willing to fall into a trap even if it was beautiful. When he took her hand and walked towards the hotel, Xu Nuan seemed to hear the sound of her body being torn apart - she left her heart where it was, but her body was taken away by that man. The man who took Xu Nuan away was Ning Cijing, the boss of Hefeng Enterprise at that time. What Xu Nuan didn't expect was that after she was taken to the hotel by Ning Cijing, even greater sorrow was yet to come. When she walked into the hotel room under the leadership of Ning Cijing, she found that there was a man with a face that looked like a playing card in the room. When he saw Ning Cijing and Xu Nuan, the expression on his face was particularly ambiguous . At that moment, she almost ran away from the door, but was dragged back by Ning Cijing and thrown on the bed. She cried and struggled, exhausted all her strength, Ning Cijing's face was severely scratched by her nails.The poker man stepped forward, grabbed her by the hair, slapped her hard, and cursed, "Damn it, it's for sale, you're still picky!"Damn, selling a person is selling!Selling two people is not selling! ... Xu Nuan forgot how those rainy punches and kicks ended, forgot what kind of language those two men used to humiliate her, she could only give in in the end. Yes, she gave in. She was lying on the bed, covered in scars, like a puppet that had lost her soul, at the mercy of two men.For so many years, she didn't dare to think about what happened that night, let alone recall it carefully.She was afraid that the cruel memory would swallow her alive at any time. Those memories with the scent of green grass appeared in her mind so mercilessly, Meng Gu's shadow appeared in front of her, his eyes contained great sadness, and he refused to believe everything in front of him - he was in front of her. She cried deep in her memory, Ruan Ruan, why didn't you wait for me, Ruan Ruan! Xu Nuan's tears flowed down wantonly. Girls, it can really be silly.In this desperate hell, she still thinks about the man who betrayed her. She bit her slender arm hard to keep herself from crying. After a while, the shadow in her heart gradually changed from Meng Gu to Zhao Xiaoxiong. Like Meng Gu, he kept crying and crying in her heart, watching everything happen almost desperately, and he was painfully crying in her mind. Furious, she wanted to push away the man lying on top of her, but there was nothing she could do. Xu Nuan's body seemed to be torn apart, and the bitterness of those wounds mixed with tears has been deeply buried in her memory. Meng Gu, Zhao Xiaoxiong, and her uncle Meng Jincheng, these teenagers, friends and relatives who gave her affectionate and fond memories, their sorrows are deeply imprinted on Xu Nuan's heart. Under the pain and on the verge of collapse, she could only tell herself over and over - for Xu Die, for Xu Die!Just for this humble thought, just for my three-year-old sister to survive, and she wants to survive, in this desperate city! ... That night, she was covered in scars.The torn clothes, the disrespected body, and the vulgar sarcasm and ridicule of the two men tore her apart. That nightmare lasted until early in the morning. After the two men were satisfied, they still looked uninterested. The poker man put on his clothes, threw money on her young body, and yelled at Ning Cijing, fuck , We are simply spending money to find wood! After the poker man left, Ning Cijing was still in the room. He patiently dressed and prepared to leave. Xu Nuan looked at the messy quilt and her naked body, and after a moment of stupor, she couldn't hold back her sadness any longer, and burst into tears hugging the torn clothes. The whole world, without redemption. Ning Cijing looked at her, and said in a tired voice, if you want, I can take care of you. Xu Nuan looked at him, her eyes were full of sarcasm, she didn't know whether she was mocking Ning Cijing or herself. Ning Cijing glanced at her and said, put away your arrogance!I've seen a lot of women like you!Self-willed to be inferior but still pretentious!hum.He sneered twice, then left. Xu Nuan rushed into the bathroom frantically, and rinsed desperately, as if trying to separate his own flesh and bones—washing off the corrupted flesh, leaving only the innocent bones. Tears mixed with hot water surged down, she opened her mouth wide and yelled like crazy in the bathroom, as if wanting to vent all her pain and fear wantonly. Finally, she collapsed in the bathroom, hugging her knees tightly. After coming out of the bathroom, she silently put on her coat, her beautiful eyes filled with confusion and anxiety.She closed the zipper silently, like sewing a wound on her body. Clutching those banknotes that were as beautiful as peach blossoms tightly, as if holding Xu Die's life, Xu Nuan left the hotel with difficulty. The midnight sky seemed to fall down at any moment, Xu Nuan slowly closed his eyes. The snow fell on her soft hair and delicate eyebrows, making her look a little extraordinarily crystal-clear and beautiful.Xu Nuan looked at her shoes, and there was some mud on the sides of the shoes.Xu Nuan suddenly squatted down, trying to wipe off the mud on the shoes, but no matter how she tried to wipe, the stains on the shoes couldn't be wiped clean, as if she was laughing at her. Tears finally flowed from Xu Nuan's eyes again and landed on the back of her hand. She knew that from the day she was nineteen, she should really forget about Meng Gu.Because, she was no longer qualified to say that she was waiting for him who might change his mind one day. At this moment, a stream of warm blood, like a thunderbolt, meandered across the snow and flowed to her feet, her face suddenly turned pale, she hurriedly raised her head, looked up along the blood, and saw At the entrance of the alley lay a person, with blood gurgling from his body... Xu Nuan screamed crazily, but was immediately stopped by a figure that appeared like lightning—the man with slender eyes covered her mouth like a beast, and dragged her to the entrance of the alley.Then, he anxiously asked the man in black squatting next to the corpse, saying, what to do, boss, someone saw it. At this time, one of the man's subordinates said, oh, she seems to be the little flirt who shared the bed with the Ning brothers just now.Didn't this flirt seduce our boss just now?Shunzi, don't ask the boss for instructions, she even caught us killing someone, why don't you just send her and Ning Cijing to the west, let them be a pair of mandarin ducks with the same fate! Xu Nuan was shivering under the restraint of the man named Shunzi, she glanced at the corpse under her feet - it turned out to be Ning Cijing, Ning Cijing who was still humiliating her just now! Xu Nuan was terrified, her eyes fell on the squatting man in black who was called the boss by the group next to the dead body.Just seeing his back, one can feel the extremely cold aura emanating from him, which makes one shudder. The man in black didn't look up, he just pulled out the dagger from the corpse. The moment he looked back, Xu Nuan once again saw that handsome face that was brighter than the blood on the snow.Her hair is like black ink, her complexion is like snow, and her facial features are as exquisite as the snow lotus blooming on the top of a snow mountain in a snowy night.Although he tried to look expressionless, there was still a half-smile in his eyes. The man in front of him was proud, fierce, and cold, like the god of the night, exuding a cold aura that made people suffocate. He glanced at Xu Nuan, and a look of surprise flashed in his eyes. Obviously, he remembered her—the girl with cold hands just now, who tried to hold her by the corner of his clothes, hoping that he would take her in tonight. However, the look of surprise disappeared from his eyes in an instant, along with his initial pity for her—he felt that a woman could commit herself to two men at the same time, and there was no shame at all, let alone There is no need for sympathy, not to mention that she was the one who witnessed their killing of Ning Cijing. Zhuang Yi raised his hand, wiped off the blood on the dagger with a handkerchief, and then said slowly to Shunzi who was restraining Xu Nuan, to kill her. This was unexpected by Xu Nuan. That tone was as easy as saying "let her go".