Chapter 30 Chapter Thirty Don't Make Me Regret

"Morning, Ding Xiaoye." Feng Lan murmured softly the first moment he opened his eyes. No one answered.She knew that Ding Xiaoye was no longer in this room, and the temperature beside the pillow had cooled down for a long time. Around dawn, Ding Xiaoye quietly got up and left.He wanted to do it alone, so Feng Lan fell into a deep sleep. It wasn't until noon that Feng Lan got the exact news that Ding Xiaoye had surrendered himself after receiving a call from Zeng Fei.Unexpectedly, before surrendering himself, Ding Xiaoye contacted Zeng Fei and asked to see Zeng Fei. "Can I go together?" Feng Lan asked.

Zeng Fei was a little embarrassed. According to the regulations, the suspect was not allowed to meet before the verdict. It was already a violation of the law for him to meet Ding Xiaoye.Feng Lan didn't force it, just said: "It's okay, I'll wait for you at the door." After the two met, Feng Lan was much calmer than Zeng Fei imagined.She finally begged: "For the sake of our friends, helping him is like helping me." Zeng Fei didn't say anything.If it wasn't for Feng Lan, he would have missed Ding Xiaoye. Lao Qian, the leader of the sub-bureau in charge of the case, was Zeng Fei's friend and former colleague, and the policemen below gave them a chance to have a private conversation.

Ding Xiaoye in the interrogation room was in shackles, and the scars on his face remained intact.When Zeng Fei sat down, a certain rib on his body also had a dull pain. "I didn't hit him to death." Ding Xiaoye gave up the pleasantries and didn't say a word of nonsense. It was not the first time Zeng Fei had heard such a statement, he read Ding Xiaoye's statement before he came in. "The most important thing in this place is lies." Zeng Fei was unmoved, "There is no one sitting here in handcuffs who does not want to try to excuse himself. The blood left at the scene matches yours. The Land Rover that caused the accident Under your name, your fingerprints were also found on the steering wheel. If you want to convince me and the police outside, you have to write a draft before you speak."

Ding Xiaoye clasped his hands that lost his freedom.He had just turned twenty years old when the accident happened, and his father's "job" seemed far away from him. He never thought that such an accident would happen to him, and he was completely dazed.The news of the policeman's death made him fall into despair even more. He regretted and felt guilty, and subconsciously avoided all the details. In fact, Ding Xiaoye is not afraid of the disaster of prison.Anyway, in this world, he is alone, without entanglements.He was also a person who lived a life of rich clothes and fine food, and the first days of arriving in Czardni were no less than a torture for him.Working with cattle and sheep all day long, sweating and working under the scorching sun, even after nightfall, the koumiss does not warm the body.His complexion gradually became as dark as the locals, and his hands were covered with blood blisters to thick calluses.He became a man with no past, no future, no identity, and no name.He gave up surrendering himself and refused to defend himself, because in his heart, the truth is not important at all.Escaping and living just means that the sun rises and sets again and again, and only the wish of his parents to die here allows him to obtain a short period of peace.

But now it's different.There are people waiting for him outside and the life he longs for. He must make every effort to fight for the seemingly elusive future. The desire to be reborn has never been stronger and clearer. Although Zeng Fei took off his police uniform, he was one of the people who knew the whole story of the case best, especially in the police force.If he can't bring about a turnaround, it means there is no hope, which is why Ding Xiaoye insisted on seeing him. "Do you know his name? His name is Feng Ming." Zeng Fei reminded seemingly unintentionally, "That was the first time he participated in an important mission in the team, but he never came back. You don’t have a girlfriend, and the white-haired and black-haired people in the family are still reluctant to cremate the body. After waiting for seven years, you are looking forward to today. You owe them an explanation.”

That strange name obviously stung Ding Xiaoye, the knuckles on the back of his hand turned white, as if they were about to penetrate the thin layer of skin. "I'm sorry for him...and his family. If I hadn't driven back to find my dad, maybe he wouldn't have died. Or I could have insisted on sending my dad away, and they wouldn't have happened to run into each other." "Don't worry, you will also be charged with covering up a fugitive suspect. How many shameful things did your father do and how many people's lives were ruined? He should have paid for it long ago. You don't even have the most basic sense of right and wrong! "

"What can I do, he is my father!" "Of course. In the battle of father and son soldiers, even if you argue that you were not the one driving the car, it does not prove that you were not involved. I have been a policeman for so many years, and I have seen too many such things. Some people are cruel by nature, and those who are evil are in the blood." Zeng Fei did not hide his instinctive dislike for Ding Xiaoye's status as Cui Kejian's son. Ding Xiaoye chuckled and said, "So, your father is a policeman, and you are also a policeman. It is also hereditary that you do anything to get promoted?"

Zeng Fei looked at Ding Xiaoye coldly for a long time, then stood up.He didn't intend to refute, but there was no need to stay any longer. Ding Xiaoye lowered his head and held hands tighter, as if he was also experiencing a battle between heaven and man. "If I am the kind of person you believe, can you sit here safely?" Ding Xiaoye said suddenly. This is a fact that Zeng Fei cannot deny.He has stayed away from the police job for too long, and his former sensitivity has gradually slackened in ease, and he failed to detect Ding Xiaoye's true identity in the first place, which has always made him worry about it.If Ding Xiaoye intends to be cruel to him or the people around him, there are plenty of opportunities.

"Zeng Fei, no matter how much my father deserves, he is already dead. I hated you, but I also understand that your position is not wrong. You blame me for not distinguishing right from wrong. I have my own standards of good and evil. It is my sin and I am willing Carry, but I repeat, I wasn't in the car when it happened, and it was too late when I got there. I beg you...you know what I'm about." After saying these words, Ding Xiaoye seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, lowering his eyes, like a long-standing stone statue.He did what he could, doing his best and obeying the destiny.

Before leaving, Zeng Fei asked, "Is there anything you want me to tell...she's waiting outside." Ding Xiaoye's shackles made a slight sound, but he shook his head. What he wanted to say was finished last night, and he didn't plan to see Feng Lan. Before the truth was revealed, it would just be like frying the two of them in a frying pan. When Feng Lan saw Zeng Fei, he couldn't help standing up, "How is he? Didn't he suffer too much? How will he be sentenced? Did you mention me?" Zeng Fei pressed her shoulders to make her sit down, and said, "Feng Lan, calm down."

Feng Lan was very stubborn, "Tell me everything he said." They were in a coffee shop near the branch office. Zeng Fei asked someone to pour Feng Lan a glass of water, and briefly recounted the conversation just now. Ding Xiaoye didn't want to see her, but Feng Lan wasn't surprised either.She was stunned for a long time, and then asked Zeng Fei: "What can I do?" Zeng Fei's sigh was inaudible, "That's just his one-sided words!" "It's not that you don't believe it at all!" Feng Lan's face was flat, but his eyes lit up like countless torches, "There is still hope, right?" Zeng Fei said: "Even if I am willing to help him, the next thing is far more difficult than you imagine... The person who hit and killed Feng Ming was not him, and this needs to be accepted by the court. Besides, just because he shielded Cui Kejian and obstructed the execution of official duties, These charges are enough for him." Feng Lan still said the same thing: "What can I do?" Zeng Fei was silent for a long time, rubbing his forehead.Too many things happened during this period, and he was so exhausted that he couldn't breathe. He was only thirty-four years old, but he seemed to have the mentality of sixty-four years old. "Feng Lan, you have to think clearly." He persuaded for the last time, "I know you like him, but this is not something that can be solved by 'feelings' alone. There is no need to gamble your whole life, it is too late to regret it now." But Feng Lan said something completely irrelevant: "You forgot, it was also a woman who ate the first bite of the apple in the Garden of Eden." After she finished speaking, she laughed, "Tell me, Zeng Fei, besides 'feelings', I have to Take something out?" Until saying goodbye to Zeng Fei, Feng Lan remained quite calm.She knows the importance of the breath in a person's heart.At the end of the college entrance examination, she had a high fever. The doctor said that she must have had a cold for a week, and almost developed pneumonia. It is said that the whole person would be very uncomfortable, but she didn't feel much during the exam.Isn't it just for those few days to study hard day and night?Feng Lan is not the kind of person who allows himself to shoot at the goal.She was ninth in the city's college entrance examination that year. As long as that breath is still hanging in the heart, people will not collapse. Of course, it would be a lie to say that she was perfectly fine.Feng Lan was very scared. That night, she walked around the living room at home countless times, walking back and forth over and over again, thoughts of hesitation, retreat, calculation and self-protection were also turning in her mind over and over again. Feng Lan, it's too late to regret it now. These were no longer Zeng Fei's words to persuade her, but her own voice.Every time you take a step, a thought arises and is crushed silently. She loves him. how much love What is love worth? Feng Lan put the worst plans in front of him one by one, and sorted out all the clues again.When she finally sat down and counted the bank cards, house ownership certificates, shareholding certificates, business licenses and all her personal assets, the sky had turned pale, and she didn't know that she had walked five or six times in vain. Hour.The carpet in the living room was left with messy pile marks, and the calf was hit by a sharp corner of a piece of furniture with red marks at some point. Feng Lan went to wash up and hesitated when looking in the mirror, fearing that the person inside would turn gray overnight.But no.She looked a little tired after removing the makeup, and she couldn't compare to the collagen on her face when she was in her twenties, but she still had smooth skin, good facial features, and plump black hair.Feng Lan touched her face, she is not old yet!If she waits for Ding Xiaoye, what will her face look like then? Kang Kang was one of the first people who learned that Feng Lan planned to sell the restaurant, and he was also the only person in the restaurant who knew all the current situation and secrets of Feng Lan and Ding Xiaoye.He often called himself "Saint Cupid Kang" now, but when he learned of Feng Lan's decision, he couldn't help but click his tongue. "Meng Jiangnu cried on the Great Wall, the wind is rustling and the water is cold, and Du Shiniang sank the treasure chest in anger..." He brought out all the allusions about courage that he thought of, but he still felt that it was not enough to express the shock in his heart, "If in ancient times, you You are a martyr, during the revolutionary period, you are definitely a hero." "Am I not the female spy in Zhazidong?" Feng Lan knew what Ding Xiaoye and Kang Kang were talking about her behind their backs.Kangkang spoke nonsense, but it was one of the few words that could catch his ears. At least he believed that she was not crazy. Feng Lan came forward to find the best lawyer for Ding Xiaoye.The lawyer, surnamed Han, was recommended by Zeng Fei. He is familiar with criminal law cases and has a strong background in the procuratorate, which is very important for the final direction of the case. Thanks to the lawyer, Feng Lan met Ding Xiaoye as an assistant.That was half a month after they parted.Ding Xiaoye's hair was shorter, and his cheeks were thinner, but his complexion was still good, the scars faded, and his facial features became more distinct. "Their haircut skills are not as good as mine." Feng Lan commented, and then added, "There are a lot of perverts in the detention center, so be careful when picking up soap." Ding Xiaoye just laughed, and Feng Lan smiled too. It is Feng Lan's point of view not to talk about the condition of the illness when visiting a doctor, and not to talk about the death when saying goodbye.Ding Xiaoye can only see hope if she doesn't collapse. For Ding Xiaoye, in the days after he surrendered, he slept more peacefully than before, as long as he was not disturbed by Feng Lan in his dreams.He didn't want to see her at first, but when the two looked at each other and smiled, they felt that everything was worth it, and the suffering also felt like a burning fire. "The case is still very promising. Lawyer Han, do you think so?" Feng Lan comforted Ding Xiaoye, and then tried to ask the lawyer beside him for confirmation. After making the necessary statements and explanations to Ding Xiaoye, the lawyer who reduced his sense of existence to the weakest nodded when he heard the words, "There is hope before the verdict comes down, and even if it comes down, there is still a chance to appeal. Now the most important One point is to find evidence to prove that the person driving is not you, and then to shorten the sentence as much as possible, we are all trying to find a way." Ding Xiaoye recognized the meaning of "we" that the lawyer said.He asked Feng Lan: "What did you do again?" Feng Lan knew that he couldn't hide it, so he didn't intend to hide it from him.Going against the wind alone is too hard, why bother?She needs someone to face it with her. "I'm planning to sell the restaurant, and several people have already contacted me, and the price offered is not bad." Feng Lan explained, "It's my fault that I used to be too extravagant, earning a lot and spending a lot. There is no burden at home, so there is no The concept of saving money, I really don’t have much cash on hand. I have discussed with lawyer Han and Zeng Fei, and I will find a way to compensate the victim’s family. It is not easy for them to be old. If the family agrees to issue an understanding Books are still helpful to reduce the sentence. The house can’t be sold, my parents’ house...it’s not easy to go back often, I’m not ready to sleep on the street, it’s easier to change hands in the restaurant, I just take a break. By the way, don’t you Do you know that I have a license? Did you expect that I am quite capable? People like me can’t starve to death, don’t worry!” Ding Xiaoye flipped the iron ring on the other wrist with his thumb. In the past half a month, he has adapted to one more thing on his body, but there are still many things to adapt to in the future. "Regret? Feng Lan." He looked directly at her, without evasion or pretense, and he couldn't even trace his gratitude or guilt, he just spoke in a straightforward manner. Feng Lan had heard the word "regret" mentioned to her by too many people. She thought she was numb, but when the clichéd words came out of his mouth, her heart trembled, and the corners of her eyes burned uncontrollably. "Not yet, it's hard to say what will happen in the future. Anyway, it's too late, so don't mention it." She turned her face to the side and pretended to lift the bangs blocking her eyes. When she looked at him again, she was much calmer, and said with a smile, "You I know what other people think of me—crazy, fool, lover, and woman. I am used to your cheap talk, and my skin has thickened. In fact, I am not crazy or stupid, and I am not a lover. I plan for myself. You Come out early, and I benefit from it. 'Eating salty fish satisfies thirst', your words were created for me. New winter coats, limited-edition shoes...what do you buy in this world without spending money? I Isn't it worth the price to buy my future happiness?" After all, she was not as invincible as she imagined. After she finished speaking, the corners of her mouth couldn't stop trembling slightly. They were too far apart, even holding his hand and touching his face became a luxury.Feng Lan choked up and said, "Don't make me regret it, Xiaoye." "I was just being polite to you, didn't you realize that?" Ding Xiaoye raised his head and said, the scratches on his wrist were scratched by him again, and fine beads of blood came out. "Of course it's good to be able to compensate, whether they forgive or not." Ding Xiaoye remembered the money that was remitted to Feng's family seven years ago and was returned, and said to Feng Lan, "You don't need to sell the restaurant, I still have a little money , although not enough... I still have a house, which is a bit old, and the location is not bad, you may have to come forward to deal with it for me. " The house has not been sold because it carries too many old memories.But now he only thinks that Cui Ting is dead, and the living Ding Xiaoye has to think about him and the one he loves. "Keep your restaurant and wait for me, as long as I come out. I don't necessarily have to pay back what I owe you, and my life is yours. In case, in case you can't wait any longer, I thank you just the same..." "Don't say thank you, say you love me." Feng Lan's voice changed, "Remember what I am now, maybe I will be old in a few years." Ding Xiaoye said: "You are not so young now." Feng Lan seemed to be laughing and crying, "Bastard, are you still unwilling to say a nice word to coax me now? Come on, be careful when I meet a man who is younger than you, looks better than you, and can speak sweet words. I regret it, when you come out, I have already become the child's mother!" Ding Xiaoye showed the dimples on his cheeks, like a wolf showing its fangs, "What are you afraid of? Even if you give birth to a bunch of children, you will still come back to me." Feng Lan covered his face and cried.She swore to keep smiling before she came. What is Feng Lan most afraid of?Afraid that Ding Xiaoye would persuade her.She doesn't care what other people say, and she can abandon everything and follow him, but she can't accept that he missed the appointment on the last platform.It's like a poor man who spent all his money on a bouquet of flowers. What he wanted was not the other party's distress and regret, but he opened his hands to accept it and exclaimed, "It's so beautiful!" Ding Xiaoye's cheapest mouth in the world said the best things Feng Lan had ever heard. Feng Lan used to ask herself, what's so good about Ding Xiaoye that she deserves to go crazy for him, risk everything for him, and do all kinds of stupid things?As her mother said, he is only young and good-looking, but who is worse than the man she loved?Why can't she do this for others?But now she understands that Zhou Taoran will be full of burden and pressure for the same extravagant effort, but Ding Xiaoye is open and frank without any pretense.His "shamelessness" is because he doesn't care if the price tag says 3000 yuan on a shirt or a whole restaurant, he just regards it as the most ordinary love of a woman.He understood, he accepted, and he let her know it was worth it.He was a monster that grew up according to Feng Lan's heart. "Ding Xiaoye, it is your blessing to meet me. If you were a monster in your previous life, you must have practiced for 100 million years. If you refuse to say you love me, just repay me with your actions, and I will not be polite to you. In this life, you Don’t think about other crooked ideas, think about me, and guard me. No matter how old and ugly I am, I wear high heels, put on makeup for half an hour before going out, love to buy clothes, put on nail polish, spray perfume, and rub my hands when I kiss you. You have lipstick on your face, bear with it." "Women are troublesome, it seems like this is the only thing." Ding Xiaoye smiled wryly, but even the silent Lawyer Han could see the tears in the corners of his eyes when he lowered his head. "It's almost time. If you have anything else to say, say it as soon as possible." Lawyer Han reminded Feng Lan after looking at his watch. Feng Lan stood up and said condescendingly to Ding Xiaoye: "I'll give you another chance to say you love me. I don't know when the next time will be." Ding Xiaoye looked a little embarrassed, and said vaguely: "Is it necessary to keep asking?" "Bastard, tell me!" Feng Lan said angrily. Lawyer Han had the urge to ask the police for cigarettes, so he walked to the door first. Ding Xiaoye opened his mouth, "I..." He seemed to be in a hurry, blushing a lot, "I left something for you, it's in the drawer of your dresser." Feng Lan couldn't understand why it was so difficult for Ding Xiaoye to say that word.The more he refused to speak, the more eager she was to pry the answer out of his mouth, as if it had become a contest between the two.Is he the kind of person who expresses love?It's just that she didn't see it? She found out what Ding Xiaoye said immediately after returning home.There were a few more passbooks and property certificates in the drawer, and a bunch of keys with an old beaded rabbit on it.What surprised her the most was the "Selected Works of Maugham" that once belonged to her. Even though Feng Lan searched through the entire book, she only found two words, which were her own signature on the inner cover.She threw the book aside angrily, and fell on her back on the bed, the sheet brushed against her cheeks, itching, like a reed in Ding Xiaoye's mouth swept across her face.She remembered Ding Xiaoye's quote from Maugham on the day of the barbecue in the reservoir—Feng Lan got up again, and hurriedly turned to that page, but there was nothing but black and white. "Women regard love as very important and try to convince us that the whole of human life is love, but in fact love is only an insignificant part of life. We only understand lust, which is normal and healthy. Love is a a disease." Is she the only one who is terminally ill?Feng Lan's hand touched the typeface, puzzled until she saw a long dark brown hair stuck inside the page.