Chapter 79 B-5

In fact, Sang Li has always been very clear: No matter how good Shen Jie treats her, they have no future to speak of. Although Sang Li always feels that she is very young and marriage is an extremely distant thing, she is no longer a simple middle school student. She knows that the woman who can be Shen Jie's wife can be young, but she must have a certain amount of love. Experience, considerable ability——Shen Jie has always disliked vase-like women, and seems to despise policy marriages, so the only possibility is to marry a "comrade-in-arms" who stands shoulder to shoulder. Every time she thinks of this, she feels a little sad, but she doesn't feel much pain. She interprets this as: since leaving Xiang Ning, she has given her love to music.From now on, she will never fall in love with any man again.

In his early twenties, when he was half-baked, at an age when he thought he knew himself but actually knew nothing about himself, youth itself was a matter of self-righteousness—it was only later that Sang Li realized that, perhaps, this was The reason why she would hurt so many people at that time. After returning to school, the first red list that Sang Li saw was posted on the bulletin board outside the music building, "Congratulations to Sang Li from the Music Department of our school for winning the first prize in the National XX Vocal Music Competition".She stared at the red list for about half a minute. Although she didn't know why she had to look at this list for so long, she knew that, looking in the direction of the bulletin board, under the sycamore tree behind the bulletin board, she once I buried my love with my own hands.

She just stared blankly at the red list in the cold wind, until a voice came from behind her: "Sang Li, is this what you want?" Sang Li turned around and saw Mu Xin who hadn't seen him for several months standing on the Yong Road not far away. For a while, neither of them spoke, but looked at each other quietly. After a while, Mu Xin took a few steps closer. The cold wind blew up the white shawl on her shoulders. She stretched out her hand to hold it down, and then tightened the neckline of the light gray coat—in fact, she has always been a beautiful woman. The child, compared to Sang Li, is a little less charming and a little more heroic.

Her gaze has always been calm and penetrating - Gu Xiaoying said that a person with such gaze will become a master one day.Although the future is still a little far away, Sang Li knows that Mu Xin can understand her heart more easily than anyone else.In front of Mu Xin, there is no need to lie, let alone make excuses. "Sang Li, do you think it's worth it?" Mu Xin spoke again, her eyes were cold, but there was a pity in her expression that Sang Li couldn't ignore. "What is worth it?" Sang Li replied with a faint smile, "Follow your feeling, okay?" "Feeling?" Mu Xin smiled, slightly mocking, "Sang Li, if you really followed your feeling, you wouldn't be where you are today. The reason why you became like this is actually because you didn't follow your feeling , but a deformed rationality. You think you know what you want, but in fact, you never know what you really need."

Sang Li took a deep breath and said slowly, "Mu Xin, I thought you would be more straightforward and just give me two slaps." Mu Xin looked at Sang Li with a half-smile, holding the corners of the shawl tightly with both hands, and said after a while: "Sang Li, why don't you think that the reason why I didn't slap you these two times was because I was afraid Dirty my hands?" Sang Li suddenly smiled, that smile was full of despair and self-abandonment, and at the same time there were so many determinations: "Mu Xin, it is already a great gift for you to tell me these things? Strong personality, even if you want to save me, you won't admit it. But I'm sorry, I don't even plan to save myself."

She turned around and walked past Mu Xin. The moment she walked past, Mu Xin heard her say: "Mu Xin, thank you." At that moment, Sang Li didn't see it, and Mu Xin's eyes were red. But Sang Li knew: those who are willing to blame themselves are friends. Because, in a place like the Academy of Art, many people are used to being able to sweep the door by themselves, regardless of what others do—because everyone is excellent in their own field, so even though they don't know anything about other fields , but it does not prevent them from living a colorful life on their own stage.Correspondingly, everyone loves the category of art they are engaged in, and although they do not despise other categories, they have never had the desire to approach them.

However, the high cost of teaching and the characteristics of art education have led to almost zero possibility of mutual selection of courses among various departments. In addition, each department is used to organizing student activities independently. They became more and more alienated, and departments of the same category still looked down on each other, which continued to carry forward the old saying that "literati look down on each other"... As a result, the advantages of comprehensive art schools could not be brought into play, and instead became a figurative separatist regime.

Under such a background, perhaps many people would treat Sang Li with contempt and alienation, but they would not show it.Even when many people passed by her, they unconsciously cared more about what clothes she was wearing, what bag she was carrying, and whether this girl was really beautiful. The quality and choice are her own business. Since the story of "beauty marrying a wealthy family" is not an example in the art academy, it is natural that there is no need to pay more attention to it. Even in the music department where Sang Li works, although many people were disappointed and hated her for ruining the reputation of the music department, if they met face to face, they would still greet her warmly and say some casual greetings...

Therefore, even though Sang Li chose a path that was cast aside by many people, she didn't feel any pressure except the loneliness and emptiness after being kicked out by 407. This is certainly a kind of tact and maturity in interpersonal relationships, but is it not a kind of desolation? Hello, you are not good, no one cares.And the person who is willing to care is locked on the other side of the door with your own hands... The moment the door is closed, it may be just a small step, but it is life turned upside down. In the cold wind, Sang Li walked away quickly, no longer looking at the back of Mu Xin behind her, she raised her head while walking, took a deep breath, and watched the white mist in the air blurred her vision.

And her heart was also hardened by the cold air at that moment—like a small iron ball that could not be smashed, it fell there heavily, telling her resolutely that she must not turn back, absolutely must not turn back.Now that you have chosen, go on, it is what she wants and what she expects, so, you can never look back! ——That year and that month, she did swear in her heart like this. After moving out of the school’s student apartment, Sangli lived in the house that Shen Jie bought for her—“SOHO Jiayuan”, a 30-minute drive from the Art Institute. square meters.The location facing the mountain and facing the lake makes the price of the whole property very dazzling.Sangli's room is a 65-square-meter open-style large one-bedroom apartment. According to Shen Jie's intention, she wanted to buy a bigger one, but she still refused.

What she thought at the time was: the bigger the house, the more spacious it is, and the smaller one, maybe it can be used as a warming nest. Just a nest, not a home. Perhaps it was also because she didn't have that strong sense of belonging, so she didn't put forward any decoration suggestions for the whole house.All she needs is a bed, a desk, a piano, a few household appliances... nothing else matters. Except for that little balcony. The black wrought iron fence, the location due to the south, and the tiled floor are very warm under the sunshine. She asked someone to lay out green vines, which spread all the way from the balcony, and placed a round table and chairs of logs under the vines. In the sunny afternoon, she read a book while basking in the sun, accompanied by opera excerpts from the stereo. ... She was already very content with such a time. Shen Jie would come here often, driving his expensive BMW, and parked in the designated parking space downstairs.Such a good car and such a small apartment will gradually arouse people's curiosity.For example, when Sang Li went out one day, he vaguely heard two women muttering behind him: Look, this must be a "second wife" hired by a rich man, so he has to be raised outside... Sang Li smiled noncommittally, not even bothering to turn his head. Telling Shen Jie at night, his face darkened, and he scolded her: "Don't say such things in such a tone!" Sang Li was sitting on the bed watching TV, when he heard this, he turned around and smiled at him charmingly: "What's the matter? Are you angry? I'm not angry at all, and they are right." Shen Jie said coldly: "That's right? Do you also think you were raised by me?" Sang Li thought for a while, then nodded, and said casually while watching the TV: "That's right, you're not even married, where did you get a 'second wife', at best, it's just a mistress." Shen Jie was furious and slammed the door and left. Sang Li looked at the door that was heavily closed, and was slightly taken aback for a moment, but quickly jumped off the bed as if nothing had happened, picked up his pajamas and went into the bathroom, as if nothing had happened. It was just that that night, when she soaked herself in the lavender-scented bathtub and listened to the singing from the "New Year's Concert" on the TV in the outer room, she suddenly lost her mind. Well, it's December 31st again. It seems that only two years ago, when the bell of the new millennium rang, someone still said "Xiaoli, I love you" in her ear... But now, where is that person?doing what? I heard from Nan Yang that he went to Frankfurt. Frankfurt... If it weren't for him, all she knew about that city might be limited to a food called "Frankfurter sausage". But now, thanks to the Internet, she knows that "Frankfurt is one of the few cities in Europe with skyscrapers, eight of the ten tallest buildings in Europe are in Frankfurt", "Frankfurt is not only the economic center of Germany, but also a A famous cultural city", "This is the hometown of Goethe, a world-famous writer. Goethe's former residence is in the city center. There are 17 museums and many places of interest. German is the official language, and English is widely used"... She looked at the colorful pictures on the Internet, imagining that he might be everywhere on the streets with people coming and going, on the banks of the brightly lit Main River.He walked through the crowd, through the breeze, through the background of the pictures she was browsing... That was Frankfurt with him, a Frankfurt that had become extremely cordial because of his presence. She closed her eyes wearily in the mist of water—now, she couldn't even shed tears. That New Year passed quietly like this. When she opened her eyes in the morning and saw Shen Jie lying next to her, she was still in a daze for a while - she didn't know when he came, and she didn't know if his leaving last night was something she did. Dream. Since then, her life has entered an unavoidable period of contradictions—with a very clear goal in terms of direction, but also a muddleheaded state of mind that cannot be changed...