Chapter 13 Chapter 12 Is there a Peach Blossom Spring?

As autumn approached, the Provincial Public Security Bureau organized a large-scale training event across the province. Thanks to this event, some of the public security system market students G City who were at the same level as Mu Xin participated in the training, and thus had the opportunity to hold a grand gathering with more than 20 people present although it was not complete. The first half of the party has been very lively. In addition to the greetings that we haven’t seen for a long time, everyone also has a sense of celebration. In the last exam, three of the students who were trained at the same time in the past passed the provincial density work, and one passed the municipal government. , and there was another person who, although he did not pass the exam, was miraculously transferred to the Provincial Department of Commerce, which had nothing to do with his major and work experience. Regarding this, the rest of the people naturally had envy, jealousy, and some secretly hidden It's uneven.

But fortunately, everyone is a person with a high enough emotional intelligence, and they just said some happy words while drinking. Last time your collective wedding was on TV, my brother-in-law is so handsome!" Mu Xin's expression froze instantly. She didn't know whether she should confess that she was divorced: when many boys and young girls were not married, she had already gone through the whole process of a marriage from beginning to end. This is obviously not something to brag about. She just raised her glass and touched it lightly, and replied, "Thank you." A girl beside her came up and said happily, "Sister, why don't you bring your brother-in-law to show us? Aren't you also a policeman? I remember joining the police a year earlier than us, right?"

Mu Xin pulled out a smile and replied, "He's busy." "It's not like he's on duty today, right? You go out to eat and drink by yourself, it's not good to leave him at home," another enthusiastic person handed over Mu Xin's mobile phone that was on the table, "Make a call and invite us to sit together Sit down." ... Mu Xin almost fled in despair. Knowing that she was standing in front of the large make-up mirror in the bathroom, Mu Xin didn't know how to describe the sadness deep in her heart at this moment: How could she be so miserable?

Can't afford to go to college, working part-time to earn living expenses is exhausting; working and being thrown to the grassroots, the word "civil servant" sounds beautiful but the feeling cannot be understood by outsiders; married and divorced, bearing the name of being unfaithful and unfilial It can only provide people with gossip; others are going up, but they are going down. Is this because there is no background, no ability, or simply bad luck? She didn't believe in "fate" before. But people are afraid of "competition": when everyone is on the same starting line, the sky is blue, the trees are green, the air is the same, and our trajectories are the same; but once someone jumps from this starting line Then, for the rest of the people, there is only envy, jealousy and hatred-envy of others' abilities, envy of others' opportunities, hate themselves, why is there no strong father?

For Mu Xin, it's okay, she is envious, jealous, but doesn't hate—she doesn't care if she has a powerful father, because God knows how much she hopes, as long as her father is still alive, just live! As long as he is alive, she is her father's daughter, and there is a man, a man who loves her the most in the whole world, who protects her all the time.He will have a shelter when he is sad and wronged, and someone will support her when necessary... But, she doesn't have it, she has nothing. Mu Xin was so drunk.It's just that she didn't get drunk at the party banquet, but got drunk in the small bar on the first floor of the hotel - perhaps because the resentment brought to Mu Xin by the party that night was too strong, she didn't want to go back to Xiushan, and she didn't want to be with the high-spirited When her colleagues went to KTV, she just went downstairs alone, and happened to see this bar, went in, hid in an inconspicuous corner, and ordered a cocktail that she had never drunk before, but it was delicious.Probably the degree is not low, because when the hot liquor sips down the throat with a bit of sweetness, it actually brings out a refreshing feeling similar to burning!

This taste is so sublime, so sublime that Mu Xin, who usually lives frugally, can't resist the temptation. She doesn't even look at the price, and drinks one cup after another.shit!It is clear that wine can relieve worries!As long as you are greedy for that burning texture, as long as you concentrate on immersing yourself in that strange and sweet breath, you will sink, you will forget, and you will not care about fame and fortune, or hurt!It's good to be alone, because no one knows yourself better than you... Until the familiar figure swayed in front of him, Mu Xin vaguely recognized: Who is this?

"Can you see me? Why are you drinking like this?" The other party frowned, "Don't drink so much if you're not happy!" The other party continued to shake Mu Xin.Mu Xin ignored her, turned her head and continued to sleep... "Speak up, take a look at me!" The other party was unyielding. "Oh, I really can't do anything about you." The other party sighed, gently took her shoulders, and let her lean into his arms.The chest is very broad. When Mu Xin leaned on it, she felt a sense of dependence that she had not seen for a long time, and couldn't help but snuggle up to the heat source.

She could feel a pair of hands gently brushing her arm and resting on her wrist.That hand was very warm and wide, holding her hand, kneading it gently, the other hand was around her waist, the heat in the palm made her think of Yang Qian.You can see that this is the selective memory of drunkenness—she doesn't remember those miserable pasts, but only remembers the joy they gave with all their heart.She wanted to open her eyes to see if it was Yang Qian, but the figure would sway, her eyelids were heavy, and then...then she became more and more dizzy, to the point where only the last trace of consciousness remained, floating vaguely.

When Zhu Hangsheng came out of the private room on the second floor of the restaurant, he saw Boxin being helped by a strange man. He followed up suspiciously, and when he was approaching the revolving door of the hotel, he finally heard the man speak. He called Mu Xi's name: "Xiao Mu, are you okay? Are you going back to Xiushan?" Mu Xin didn't answer. In fact, she was unconscious at this time, and she didn't even know that someone was helping her to go out. Seeing that Mu Xin was indeed drunk, Chu Hangsheng hurriedly called her name: "Mu Xin!" As expected, the man turned his head to look at Chu Hangsheng—he was in his forties, wearing a well-made jacket and white shirt. Chu Hangsheng didn't react when he saw Mu Xin. The first reaction in his heart was: Not good!

"You are?" The man looked at Chu Hangsheng hesitantly. "I'm Mu Xin's brother, may I ask who you are—" Chu Hangsheng looked into the man's eyes, the other's eyes were deep, Chu Hangsheng couldn't see the end, and his intuition told him that this is not a simple person. "I love his colleague. I work in the Municipal Public Security Bureau. My surname is Lu," Lu Bingtang explained with a smile, "She drank a little too much. I was wondering if I should find someone to take her back to Xiushan." "Thank you." Chu Hangsheng reached out his hand, shook Lu Bingtang politely, and then took out his business card from his bag, "I don't know if Mu Xin mentioned it, my name is Chu Hangsheng, and I work for a provincial newspaper. next to the bureau."

Lu Bingtang looked at the business card carefully: Chu Hangsheng, deputy director of the special department of the provincial newspaper, chief reporter. Lu Bingtang smiled, just about to say something.But just at this moment, someone pushed open the side door of the lobby on the first floor, and the cool wind came in, blowing on Mu Xin's face, she woke up a little bit, opened her eyes, looked around in a daze, and saw Chu dirty first, He smiled honestly, then turned his head to look at Lu Bingshang.At the first glance, I didn't understand, but at the second glance, I couldn't believe it, and at the third glance, I finally confirmed that my face was so close to Lu Bingtang's face, Mu Xin burst into a cold sweat, and was half sober! In an instant, Mu Xin bounced away from Lu Bingtang's arms like a conditioned reflex, and Chu Hang jumped with such a large movement.He hastily stretched out his hand to help him, but before he could get closer, he saw Mu Xin reach out and grab his arm, and quickly leaned towards him, with a stiff smile on his face, he asked, "Captain Lu, you're here too!" Lu Bingtang smiled and said politely: "Since your brother is here, I won't see you off. Goodbye." Mu Xin waved his hand mechanically, and watched Lu Bingtang leave with a half-hearted smile. He fell limply until he could no longer see anyone. Chu Hangsheng helped her up and asked, "Who is this?" "Chief Inspector," Mu Xin looked around, leaned close to Chu Hangsheng's ear, and whispered, "He's a very dangerous terrorist for women!" "Then you still dare to drink with him!" Chu Hang kept his voice down and scolded in a low voice, "Are you impatient?" "I didn't drink with him." Mu Xin imagined what would happen if he got into Lu Bingtang's car just now, a burst of goosebumps quickly spread all over his body, and he stuttered, "No...no...it couldn't be just now Him?" "Who isn't he? I clearly saw him half-supporting and half-embracing you to bring you out!" Chu Hang gave Mu Xin a sharp look, then turned and walked out, Mu Xin followed tremblingly, the more he thought about it, the more afraid he became. Until getting into Chu Hangsheng's car, when the familiar atmosphere surrounded Mu Xin again, the memory that had become hazy because of drunkenness just now seemed to be revived in an instant—she closed her eyes, Lu Bingtang's hand was all in front of her eyes. Kneading hands repeatedly, flames gradually rose in the dry and gentle palms, and the fingertips that seemed to be slightly callused slowly slid along the gap in the clothes around the waist to the delicate skin on the waist, rubbing back and forth; The smell, on the shirt and cuffs, she also felt familiar for a moment, but she still ignored it... The extreme fear swelled in an instant, and Mu Xin seemed to understand: Lu Bingtang has a certain social status after all, and his identity and power are gorgeous temptations to some girls, so he doesn't have to just stare at one Mu Xin, And you just need to push the boat along the way at the moment of encounter - he never gave up, Mu Xin shouldn't be so stupid as to think that all the alarms can be canceled if he is sent to the border, and he is even completely unprepared for this... After figuring this out, Mu Xinhou's teeth were trembling with fear, Chu Hangsheng turned his head to look at her, sighed silently, and started to start the car.However, at this moment, his arm was suddenly embraced by Mu Xin. He turned his head and looked over in surprise, only to see Mu Xin tightly grasping his right hand that was about to shift gears, with her face deeply buried in his right arm. Her hands and her body were trembling slightly. Chu Hangsheng hurriedly stopped driving, and let Mu Xin lean on his body a little stiffly.But she didn't seem to be satisfied with such a weak temperature, she stretched out her arms and hugged his neck tightly, until her arms became tighter and tighter.He could hear her sobbing, could feel her cold palm brushing across his face, and could smell the slightly sweet aroma of wine on her body. Chu Hang's voice was a little dazed. After a while, Chu Hangsheng sighed and stretched out his arms to embrace Mu Xin.She lay quietly on his chest, her cheeks were wet and cold. Chu Hang wiped away the tears on her face with his magical hands, and hugged her tighter until the warmth slowly rose, and Mu Xin finally stopped trembling.Vaguely, he heard her calling him "Brother" in a low voice, but neither of them spoke again.He just hugged her quietly like this, and instinctively provided her with a warm support and a fragile moment in the night of autumn cold, in the bustling city with red and green lights, and in the carriage with a sad atmosphere. Support, he thought, was all he could do, and maybe all she needed. That night, on the way back to Chu Hangsheng's house, both of them remained silent. After waking up, Mu Xin began to feel a headache. She closed her eyes and leaned on the car seat. Chu Hang looked at her and tried to drive the car as smoothly as possible.In the middle, he turned on the radio casually, and the night radio station was playing lingering love songs, and the two of them listened to each other.In the night wind with the smell of autumn hay, the young singers sang "There is no right or wrong in love", "What is love", "What makes me fall in love with you"... However For the two people sitting in the car, since when did the word "love" become pretentious and blunt? Those moving oaths, those brilliant promises, indeed, will feel blurred after reaching a certain age. "I won't stay here for too long. I have already figured out the way to go. Give wholeheartedly, don't be afraid of hardship, and find happiness. I see it not far away. I am grateful for the help of the nobles along the way, and some people persuaded me to quit along the way. I entrust you I don't cry, I'm not afraid of hard work, tears are helpless... This road is unknown, no one has a map. I know where I am now, I care about walking this road, and one day I can find happiness... "Finally heard a song that didn't sing "Ai Qian" over and over again, Mu Xin listened attentively, but was slightly stunned when he heard the lyrics clearly. "Liu Ruoying, "The Road to Happiness"," Chu Hangsheng seemed to see what she was thinking, suddenly broke the silence, and commented in a melodious melody, "The trainee reporter I brought, a girl who just graduated, likes this song the most. Say it's an inspirational song." Chu Hangsheng smiled while driving: "Listen to the lyrics, you can say it's about the road of love, you can say it's about the road of career, you can say it's about the road of marriage... Isn't a person just walking in this life? They are all unknowns, and no one has a map. In fact, even the people who draw the map have to go to know whether there are gullies or steep mountains, rivers or cliffs. Some roads have to be walked to know, understand." Mu Xin smiled.He didn't nod or shake his head, just smiled and listened to a song that seemed a little familiar, but he never calmed down and listened carefully.In the soothing melody, her tense nerves seemed to gradually relax, she felt drunk, gradually closed her eyes, and fell asleep in a daze.Not for a long time, she even had a simple dream.In the dream, she was walking on a small road full of singing birds and fragrant flowers. When she reached the end of the road, she saw a clump of weeds. She stretched out her hand and pushed it away. The inside suddenly opened up. It turned out to be a quiet valley with river boats and rice paddies in the valley.There are groups of thatched huts, surrounded by wooden fences, and green vines are afraid of on the fences.The sun is warm and the dog is barking softly, just like Tao Yuanming's pen, existing safely under the blue sky.She stood quietly on a high place, and could vaguely see children running and jumping in the valley.And "happiness", like the curling smoke from cooking, lingers around at the turn of the mountain. The next day was the weekend, and it was already half past nine in the morning when Mu Xin woke up in the guest room of Chu Hangsheng's house.Looking at the time displayed on the phone, she was surprised. How long has it been since she had such a peaceful sleep?Why didn't those people chasing her in the dream, those people who forgot to fill in the question cards in a hurry, those cliffs that stumbled and fell, didn't appear? She got up and walked to the window, opened the curtains, and the sun flooded in all of a sudden.Open the window, and the smell of autumn hay spreads refreshingly.In the downtown area, of course there will not be as many trees as Xiushan, but it can actually make people feel more at ease than the lush suburbs... Mu Xin seems to have vaguely understood something, but she hasn't waited for her to capture the real truth in her heart. Feeling, the mobile phone thinks of the "didi" sound of receiving a text message. "Are you okay last night?"——it was Lu Bingtang. Mu Xin frowned, and wanted to delete it directly, but in the end, she still endured the nausea in her heart and replied: Thank you, Team Lu, for your hard work. The sentence is simple and lacks the reason, and the purpose is unclear, because this is Mu Xin's instinctive defense-after more than two years as a policeman, her thinking has changed from the initial "because of this" to today's "if so".In other words, when thinking about a question, the first thing she thinks of is not because you ask so I will answer, but whether adding this text message and being read by someone who cares about it will have an irreparable bad influence on herself?Therefore, it can only and must make people unable to understand what the two are talking about.Then, once this matter is used by someone with a heart, the fewer words, the more she can justify herself. She had to admit that she had indeed changed. "Tuktuk..." Someone knocked on the door, she opened it, and saw Chu Hangsheng's smiling face as expected.He was wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt, and the most exaggerated thing was an apron. He pointed to the dining table: "Eat." Mu Xin looked in the direction he pointed: millet porridge, toast with ham, tea eggs, side dishes, a combination of Chinese and Western, but not weird.The sun shone in through the windows of the restaurant, intertwined with the heat rising from the millet porridge, Mu Xin thought, this is the taste of "home", right? Long time no see. Seeing Mu Xin in a daze, Chu Hang patted her on the shoulder: "What are you doing in a daze? Eat quickly, and I'll take you out to play after eating." The tone was so kind, Mu Xin was amused: "Listen to this, it seems that I am your daughter." "How could my daughter be so resigned?" Chu Hangsheng, who was wearing an apron, pretended to think about it seriously, "At least there must be milk, small wontons, fried buns, egg pancakes..." "Go, go!" Mu Xin couldn't help but push him, "I just praised you for being virtuous, so I'm going to shiver." Chu Hang smiled and stepped aside, took off his apron and sat down, pushed the millet porridge in front of Mu Xin: "Drink some porridge first, to nourish the stomach." Mu Xin asked while drinking: "Where are you going after eating?" "Let's go out for a walk, you are nestled in Xiushan all day, are you not afraid of mold?" Mu Xin smiled, she looked out the window, the sky was blue, it really was a good weather for going out. As a result, Chu Hangsheng really did something worthy of the good weather—two divorced men and women with an average age of over 30 years old, young men and women who imitated others, or grandparents who exercised were also in the central square. Fly the kite. "Run quickly!" Chu Hangsheng raised his hand to send the kite upwind, seeing that the wind was not too strong, he called Mu Xin from a long distance away.It was Mu Xin's first time to fly a kite, and she was in a hurry. Before she could take a few steps, the kite fell headfirst.Chu Hang smiled and leaned over to pick it up, and the two of them started a round again.After tossing like this for countless times, Mu Xin finally flew the kite into the sky when she felt that she had run too far to distinguish things. Looking at the gradually shrinking black spot in the sky, Mu Xin raised his hand to wipe the sweat on his forehead, and heaved a long sigh of relief. When he turned around, he saw Chu Hangsheng standing not far behind her with his arms folded and smiling, and gave him a look: "You laugh!" what?" "The square is full, and you are the stupidest kite flyer." Chu Hang pointed to the other kite-flying people around him, and then pointed to the angel's colorful kites, sighing. Mu Xin was angry: "You are smart and let me let you go? You have the nerve to stand by and watch the fun!" "Isn't it great? Run, exercise, not to mention exercising your muscles and bones, but also thinking about the thread in your hand - concentrate on doing one thing, once you succeed, your joy will double," Chu Hang said, touching Mu Xin's head continued to pretend to be loving, "Look at you finally succeeded, kid." "Uncle, I want to eat that—" Mu Xin rolled her eyes when she heard Chu Hang's voice, and simply pointed to the cold drink shop not far away to pretend to be an underage child. Chu Hangsheng glanced at the crimson storefront from a distance, and couldn't help laughing: "Do you know what his slogan is?" Mu Xin was stunned for a moment, then remembered that, indeed, the advertising slogan of this shop is well known to everyone, wireless and sturdy, called: "If you love her, bring her Haagen-Dazs." If you love her... Mu Xin was slightly embarrassed, but her mind was spinning quickly, and then she smiled like a flower: "When there are good things to eat, I don't mind if you treat me as your eldest niece, love me hard, love to death." Chu Hang laughed helplessly, and when he passed by her, he touched her head by the way: "Niece, you are really promising." After he finished speaking, he went to buy ice cream. Liu Muxin sat on a chair by the side of the square, tugging at his own kite string.She looked up at the sky, and the blue sky and white clouds really made her feel happy. There were many colorful kites, some with beautiful long tails, swinging back and forth in the sky.There are also strange little machines tied to the kite strings, and ethereal singing sounds come from inside.Listening carefully, it turned out to be "On the Field of Hope", Mu Xin was delighted. On the field of hope... Geer is old enough, but it is also a familiar melody from childhood.What was the hope then?It's a jelly bean that Dad took out of his pocket when he got off work, or a comic book that he bought on the weekend.At that time, everyone's wishes were so simple, and every wish that could be realized was more satisfied because of this simplicity.So what now?Wouldn't it be happier if we simplified our increasingly complex wishes? For example, if you don’t have a strong background, try to be a strong self, do the things in front of you well, have a clear conscience, be cautious, and then you don’t need to be afraid of ghosts and ghosts; don’t expect to reach the sky in one step, and don’t fantasize about elated, just be a person who is ready and ready. Maybe there will be a chance to escape at any time; even if there is no chance, it’s okay, it’s really a big deal to quit, anyway, even if I go to pick up my old job and teach the children to paint, I won’t starve to death; it doesn’t matter if I get divorced, I can If you find the right one, you will remarry, if you can't find the right one, you will be single, whoever leaves will not survive... As a result, when Chu Hangsheng came back, he saw Mu Xin smiling and looking at the sky thoughtfully. He finally breathed a sigh of relief: I don’t know how long it’s been since I saw her smile so relaxedly. Seeing it now, I feel that it’s not in vain This time.He walked over, handed the ice cream to Mu Xin, took the kite string, and watched the people coming and going in the square while pulling the kite string. Here, once Mu Xin thinks about it, she doesn't shy away from it. She ate the ice cream by herself, and she still didn't forget to scoop up a scoop and hand it to Chu Hangsheng.The two shared a box of ice cream so naturally. No one wanted to delve into the meaning behind it, but they were also greedy for the warm time they hadn't enjoyed for a long time. After lunch, the two went to the Science and Technology Museum—this is a place that people who have lived in this city for a long time may not have thought of setting foot in, so it is for them.When they entered the door, they followed a group of elementary school students who went to visit, while listening to the explanation, they suddenly realized from time to time.They even knew for the first time that there was a sky that resembled the Milky Way, and when the lights were turned off, the overhead was bright.Under the simulated night sky, they listened carefully to the guide explaining where is Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, and from time to time they heard the praises of children around them "wow"... Although they are not young, these two people are still very involved I finally found the floating feeling of being in the Milky Way. At night, two bored people went to the moat to enjoy the moon—the leaves had not yet fallen, the street lights were still dim, and there were countless couples in love whispering among the dense grass, which made Mu Xin very interested. Chu Hangsheng felt that it was impolite for her to stare at people's backs like this, so she kindly poked her, but unexpectedly she got excited and told Chu Hangsheng with great interest: "When I was in college, I liked to go to school with my roommates the most. In the grove known as the corner of love, read English texts aloud." "You?" Chu Hangsheng was surprised, "You really don't look like someone who would do such a thing." "Actually, I did a lot of immoral things at that time..." Mu Xin didn't know what she recalled, and suddenly raised her head and laughed, explaining that the moonlight was shining on her face, Chu Hangsheng suddenly felt that it was an epiphyllum, Blooming suddenly, with dazzling brilliance.His breath was stagnant, and he almost wanted to reach out and brush it up. At this moment, a small painted boat with red window lattices and bright lights happened to pass by in the moat beside him. The bright light woke up Chu Hangsheng from his trance. He coughed hurriedly to cover up his momentary gaffe, and glanced at the boat. Said: "Look at Chuanshan, there are only three or two tourists, but there are a lot of pedestrians walking on the shore. I really don't know whether to spend money on the boat to see the scenery, or to become the scenery to be seen by others." "It's all the same, brother." Mu Xin looked up and smiled, "I already knew that in this world, others are your scenery, and you are other people's scenery, but it's just that someone's scenery is a bit tragic. .” "It won't be a tragedy for the rest of my life." Chu Hang's voice seemed to indicate something.While talking, the two of them had already walked on a cobbled path. The cobblestones were too slippery and uneven, and Mu Xin's heels were often unsteady.Chu Hangsheng reached out his hand naturally, took Mu Xin's hand, and gently pulled it to his side. Mu Xin did not resist. The two of them just held hands silently, crossing the path without letting go.Knowing that he was on the flat road, before he could let go, he heard someone call, "Xiao Chu?" Chu Hang turned his head and greeted in surprise: "Director?" The director smiled, looked at Mu Xin and asked, "Girlfriend?" Chu Hangsheng turned his head to look at Mu Xin, seeing her smiling peacefully, her palms still perched in his hands obediently, he felt relieved, and looked back at the director to introduce: "Mu Xin, works in Xiushan Public Security Bureau." When he said this, there was a wind blowing over, and a lock of Mu Xin's long hair blew onto Chu Hangsheng's face, and without thinking, he raised his hand and tucked it behind her ear.Mu Xin didn't shy away from it, and just greeted her generously: "Hello, Director!" "Hello, hello!" The director suddenly realized, it seemed that he finally understood why Chu Hangsheng was going to Xiushan, and he was very proud of his "enlightenment".He smiled and shook hands with Mu Xin, and then patted Chu Hangsheng on the shoulder: "My family lives near here, and I always go out for a walk after dinner. The next time you bring Xiao Mu to my house for dinner, my wife said it's been a long time since I saw you." is you." Chu Hang nodded in agreement, then watched the director go away.Until he couldn't see, he just wanted to turn around, but suddenly felt the hand in his hand withdraw.His heart sank, and then he was stunned—because he saw Mu Xin walking in front of him, looking at him quietly, and asking seriously: "Brother, if you really mean to take me in, then Aunt Su Agree?" Chu Hang was silent. Mu Xin smiled, that smile was light and calm.She also comforted him: "It's okay. In fact, even if you denied it just now, I wouldn't blame you. You are not young anymore. You have to take care of your own affairs. You don't have to worry about me here. Just let me take it easy. It'll be fine for a while." She patted his arm and added: "Really, it's nothing. I've thought about it. It's very rare to apply for the provincial government. It's not surprising that I didn't pass the exam this time. Next year, I will still take the civil servant exam of our city government." Well, it will be easier than in the province, and I can go back to my hometown to take care of my mother nearby. Besides, if you change the environment, maybe you can find another suitable person to marry. I’m only 29, not too old.” Chu Hangsheng felt distressed in his heart—29 years old, how young!In a big city, at this age, many ideals in life have just begun to struggle. Love is something that can be enjoyed but not necessarily achieved.But in the remote suburbs like Xiushan, or even in the undeveloped prefecture-level cities like their hometown, a 29-year-old woman usually already has a three- or four-year-old child, instead of being alone like Mu Xin. He could imagine her stress. "Does your mother know?" Chu Hang asked. "I haven't dared to tell her yet," Mu Xin laughed self-deprecatingly, "I'm so cowardly, aren't I? It's been so long since the dust settled, and I still haven't the courage to tell her that I'm divorced. But what should I say—marry Divorced within one year, it would be embarrassing to any family, right? You men are not afraid of being depreciated, but we women will depreciate to the bottom. In my mother's impression, divorced women are destined to have endless troubles. She has only lived a few years I can live with peace of mind, I can't let her worry about me anymore." "I didn't tell my mother—" Chu Hang raised his head, saw Mu Xin's puzzled eyes, and quickly corrected him, "I didn't mean the divorce, I meant that I didn't tell my mother that I wanted to be with you." Mu Xin was stunned. "I don't know what your attitude is, and I don't know if you are ready to start from scratch, so you can't tell her so hastily," Chu Hangsheng explained patiently, "So you asked me her opinion, I really don't know How should I answer you? But Mu Xin, isn’t this a bit upside down? We don’t even know if it’s appropriate, so let’s think about the old man first... Then if the old man is happy to see it happen, we will get more and more If we don’t get along, won’t we let the old people down again in the end?” Looking at Mu Xin's thoughtful eyes.Chu Hang sighed, and stretched out his hand to pull Mu Xin into his arms: "They've already been disappointed once, and I'm afraid they won't be able to stand it again." Mu Xin lay quietly in his arms, her cheek pressed against his cool coat, and said in a low voice, "But, I'm really scared." Can she not be afraid?When I was unmarried, I was disliked by others, but now that I am divorced, I will be disliked even more; I was disgusted by the poor family background at the beginning, but it is still not very good now; Surviving in the civil service team with the same class differences, whether it is Xiushan or a certain village in my hometown Institutions, with her background, she is doomed not to be able to get into a very "stunning" unit, not to be a "stunning" leader, but to be a "low-level civil servant" for the rest of her life... She has no capital, and she has no capital. What do you think other mothers can accept themselves? A marriage without mother's blessing is doomed not to be happy. She believed this sentence now, and wished she could regard it as a wise saying. "Actually, my parents won't interfere with this matter." Chu Hangsheng lowered his head and kissed her hair, and heard her laugh a few times with a look of disbelief. "Brother, in the past, my boyfriend, oh no, my ex-husband, he also said the same thing." Mu Xin turned her face to the side, smiling lonely, "I don't want to believe such outrageous words again." "You still have to make me say I'm ugly?" Chu Hangsheng hugged the thinning woman in his arms tightly, and smiled wryly: "You don't believe me when I tell you. In fact, many people introduced me to girlfriends, but the other party heard that I have been divorced, and the look in my eyes immediately changed. Even if the introducer said that we have been separated for a long time and have no relationship, the other party will ask, "If you are really a family-oriented person, how come you have no relationship after only a year or two of separation?" '. There are many guesses, such as guessing whether I will have domestic violence, whether a third party will intervene, and the most exaggerated one is to directly ask the introducer if I am impotent...So to tell you the truth, Of the three whom my mother personally introduced to me, one was divorced." Mu Xin was tongue-tied and looked up at Chu Hangsheng, not knowing what to say. It took a long time before she sighed: "How could this happen? It stands to reason that you are a man, young and promising, so you won't be rejected..." "Why not?" Chu Hangsheng buried his face in Mu Xin's neck, "Don't forget, every girl is a treasure in the hands of mother. If you have a daughter, you are willing to marry your innocent daughter To a divorced man?" Mu Xin couldn't answer. Yes, she knew without thinking about it, she must be reluctant. "Then we really feel sorry for each other." Mu Xin sighed bitterly. "It's not about sympathy, it's about finally catching up..." Chu Hang sighed. Mu Xin smiled softly, she stopped talking, but admitted in her heart: Yes, she is selfish, she is greedy, she needs a solid support, she is obsessed with the warmth of this embrace, but she also clearly knows that she has been in the past ten years. Ben had never rejected Chu Hangsheng.She doesn't want to waste any more time, even if it's because of greed and selfishness, even if she still can't completely forget Yang Qian and the past, but for the sake of the rise and shatter of her secret love dream, and because of her fate For the sake of making it this far, please forgive her for being a little greedy - she is just too tired, so let's just be willful once. The night was getting cooler.By the side of the moat where pedestrians were becoming less and less, Chu Hangsheng retracted his arms, lowered his head without hesitation, and gently kissed Mu Xin's ear. He heard her bury her face in his chest and mutter, "Thank you, brother." Chu Hangsheng didn't speak, he just tilted his head and pressed her cheek against her.After a while, it feels wet. At that moment, time fell asleep.And the moon is an LED night light in the bedroom of Time, which sprinkles a little light that makes people feel not alone in the beautiful dreams. In the blink of an eye, when Hao Huinan saw Mu Xin at the police station on Monday, she was surprised by how refreshed she was. Hao Huinan looked Mu Xin up and down, and asked puzzledly, "Are you... reconciled?" "Who?" Mu Xin was puzzled. "Yang Qian... isn't he?" Hao Huinan turned his head and suddenly slapped his hands, "Chu Hangsheng!" "You have a rich imagination," Mu Xin admired, "It's a pity not to learn art." "Isn't it?" Hao Huinan was very confused, "You see that you are much more hydrated now than before." "That's because I finally got a good night's sleep on the weekend," Mu Xin stood by the desk, holding a glass of water in his hand Changing the subject, "Why do you remember to come to see me today?" "I'm going to the town government to do business and continue to blackmail the secretary." Village head Hao raised his eyebrows and made a gesture of chopping his neck. "Did you ask me what I told you last time? That woman, what's her name...it's the one where the two sons stole the cable. " "Wu Xinhong? I know this person. Since her husband went out to work, her family's financial conditions were not bad. But last year, her father-in-law fell ill and spent a lot of money, which is typical of returning to poverty due to illness. There are several families in our village, and today we are here to implement it." Regarding this matter, I heard that there is a poverty alleviation project in the town, let me see if I can take up a few places." "Huinan, you have really changed." Mu Xin sighed. "It has changed. In this environment, it is really difficult not to know Jiarong." Hao Huinan also expressed emotion, "When I was young, I wrote a composition titled "My Ideal". 80% of the students in our class said they wanted to be scientists. I就想，大家都做科学家了，谁去做农民给大家种粮食吃呢？于是我就写了篇作文，说我的理想就是去当农民，给大家种很多很好吃的粮食，大米都是彩色的，蒸一碗出来就像巧克力豆那么漂亮。老师给我的评语是，想象力很丰富，但中国有八亿农民了，不缺你一个，你还是好好念书，去开发新品种的大米吧！” 穆忻笑出声：“你们老师真逗。” “她也太没有远见了，”郝慧楠笑着摇头，“她就想不到，虽然我当不成一个标准的农民，也没法研究出像巧克力豆一样的大米，但我二十年后变成了一个村长，天天帮着农民研究怎么种地。其实就在一年前，我还压根分不出那明明长得一模一样的两棵草，到底哪棵是麦苗、哪棵是韭菜？” “你这是积德，”穆忻拉住郝慧楠的手，表情很诚恳，“会有好报的。” “穆忻你现在说话怎么这么像我们村的老太太？”郝慧楠撇嘴，“你赶紧让上天赐我个像样的男朋友吧，最好能拯救我离开基层，别再当村长。我敬业是一回事，可不等于我多热爱这项工作，这一天天的可闹心死了。” “褚航声不是说要给你写篇报道？”穆忻突然想起这茬。 “他来过几次，问了无数问题，我还带着他在地里转了几圈，张乐也在……也不知道那几天他怎么就那么闲。不过还好，多亏有他，有些大爷大妈家里的情况他比我还了解，差点把人家祖宗十八代都介绍全了。” 穆忻闷笑：“你还是看不上他？” “其实也不是看不上，”郝慧楠苦笑，“论身高、样貌、工作、家境，我俩都挺门当户对的。可是我真不想留在这里一辈子。这一结婚就把自己捆住了，不值啊！” “其实也没那么夸张，”穆忻想一想，“如果你考上省直或者市直机关，也不过就是去市区工作，离这里总归不算太远。但你放弃了一个觉得合适的人，倒是大大的不划算了。” “我也没说他就是合适，我只是说外在条件比较协调，”郝慧楠咬文嚼字，然后一脸坏笑，“说心里话，我倒是更喜欢咱们镇党委书记，才三十多岁，长得也不错，有文件，有魄力，还屡次救我于水火。先甭管人家是不是自己想出政绩，反正肯给老百姓花钱就是好人！只是可惜结婚了，听说孩子都上小学了。” “郝慧楠你说什么？”穆忻还没等说话，突然听见办公室门口响起一声惊呼，俩人一起扭头看，只见张乐拎着一个暖瓶站在门口，表情惊恐，“你怎么能喜欢有妇之夫？兔子还不吃窝边草呢，你怎么能对领导下手！” 他话音一落，郝慧楠气得脸发青，穆忻当场跌倒在沙发上，笑得上气不接下气。 几分钟后，办公室里再次传出不知是谁挨打的求救声，还有旁观者加油鼓劲的起哄声——好在是二楼，不然听上去太像是刑讯逼供，惨绝人寰。 对张乐而言，这已经不知道是第多少次被口头表扬，甚至他更习惯了自己先立功嘉奖后被处分或是处分之后再靠嘉奖立功赎罪……但对穆折而言就完全不同了。这是第一次，穆忻觉得，她居然真的有点像个警察了！ 警察，不就是除暴安良以及服务群众吗？她穆忻，没有经过科班出身的系统培训，论破案没有经验，论审讯全无头绪，论出警……就她那副花拳绣腿也完全不中用。甚至就在不久之前，她连接报警电话都听不懂内容。用马斯洛的理论来说，就因为自我价值无法实现，所以她只能在日复一日的自我鄙弃中山穷水尽，无数次后悔不该走进这个完全不擅长的领域。她忍不住设想，如果当初她从事了专职设计工作，还会这么没有成就感吗？还会这么不招人待见吗？还会被当成一颗球踢来踢去吗？ 可现在，在被人肯定之后冷静下来想想，她才发现，长久以来，她一方面抱怨这里的生活条件差、沟通交流难、特权思想严重，但另一方面，她其实只是不愿承认，那些让她觉得无法交流且有着浓郁特权思想的人们，有很多都是侦破老手、预审达人，他们每天日复一日的工作就是惩奸除恶。而她自己，之所以无法被人肯定，也无非是由于她心灰意冷后的得过且过、敷衍了事……以前，她注意不到这些，所以占据内心的，不是体谅，而是怨怼，她反复琢磨的，不是客观，而是归咎。 律人恕己，这才是最见不得光的私念。 弄明白这一点之后，穆忻开始用一种全新的眼光观察周围的一切，只是派出所的生活，翻来覆去总是那样。 当天上午，8:00，距离镇政府不远的西山花园有人报警，说是一只大狗蹲在小区门口，凶悍得很。要出门买菜的老奶奶、送孩子上学的年轻妈妈都被挡在小区里，谁也不敢动。狗的主人也不知道哪里去了，请警察同志“赶紧来管管狗”。 9:28，水泥厂宿舍区有人报警，说楼上掉下来一个花盆，差点把自己砸死。谁家掉的不知道，“要是知道还要你们警察干什么”，“没砸到也得来看看啊，万一不注意，下次真把人砸死怎么办”——逻辑上当然成立，尽管没人考虑目前警力不足的问题。赵旭辉一边咬着油条一边愤愤地去开车，新来的见习警员在后面亦步亦趋地跟着。 10:57，有人跌跌撞撞扑进派出所，脸上靑一块紫一块的，看见站在大厅里的穆忻，几乎要冲上去抱住她的腿。饶是穆忻经受了三年公安生活的锻炼，还是被那张色彩斑斓的脸吓得惊叫了一声，然后才听见报案人断断续续说自己被抓进传销窝点，身份证被搜去了，不骗人来加入组织就得挨打，今天趁上课间隙好不容易逃出来……闻讯赶来的副所长赶紧带人去包抄传销窝点，就把送报案人去包扎的任务交给了穆忻。 13:35，穆忻总算安置好报案人回到所里，饭菜早凉了，只好自己又用微波炉热一热，一边吃饭一边在值班室替人接警，结果接到一个报警电话说是镇上一所中学的学生打架，“动叉子了”。穆忻没听明白，还追问：“动什么了？”对方急三火四：“叉子啊！吃饭的叉子没见过？白叉子进去红叉子出来！”穆忻一口馒头卡在嗓子眼，差点活活噎死。赶紧手忙脚乱地派刚进院子的张乐再去一趟中学校园，同时还得给镇上的卫生院打电话。 15:02，有人报警说农贸布场发生“围殴”，赵旭辉又带着见习警员出警去了。这次处理的时间倒是不长，回来后还笑得前仰后合的。据说是农贸市场有个大爷是卖苹果的，有两个四十多岁的妇女以“尝尝”为借口蹲在大爷摊前一个接一个地吃苹果。也巧在那苹果个头不大，吃一个花不了多少时间，所以俩人一边站摊前聊天一边“尝”苹果，一共吃了十个，临末了不给钱，拍拍屁股要走，理由是“不甜”。大爷不愿意了：“不甜你们还吃这么多？”结果两个体重均在100公斤左右的妇女一边往大爷睑上吐口水，一边叉腰谩骂老人家：“吃你几个苹果怎么了，你不看看你这小苹果才比海棠果大多少，还好意思卖这么贵？老娘吃你几个苹果是看得起你，别给你脸不要脸！你知道老娘是谁吗？吿诉你吧，老娘在农贸市场转了十年，摆过摊揍过人，大小是个人物！我们是行不更名坐不改姓，人送外号'大市场TWINS'！什么？外国名儿你听不懂？'绝代双骄'听说过吗？我们还有个中国名儿叫'大市场绝代双娇'！”围观人群哄堂大笑，前去调解的赵旭辉和见习民警闻言差点扑倒在苹果摊上…… 16:40，前去包抄传销窝点的民警回来了，据说窝点早已人去楼空，但副所长凭借其敏说的观察力和丰富的从警经验，带着一群警察和协警在周围搜索，最终根据报案人曾经提供过的几条重要线索，愣是在不远处的一处民房里找到还没来得及逃离的两个传销小头目。几个警察扑上去就把他们顺利地捆成了粽子，带回所里开始审讯。 18:43，张乐回来，说是受伤的学生已经送去医院。正吃着饭，两个同事进门，带进来一个嫌疑人，说是在网络上利用QQ视频骗钱，被人认出来了，当街殴打。两个民警也不能眼见着他被打死，就把嫌疑人和受害人一起带回来做笔录。 20:40，紫藤花园有人报警，说有陌生人反复敲家里的家门，这家男人不在，只有女人和一个五岁的小女孩在家，母女俩已经吓得瑟瑟发抖，在卧室里抱成一团。“紫藤花园”听着名字很美，其实不过就是镇派出所旁边的一个不怎么髙档的小楼盘，里面都是小产权房，便宜，但是保安力量很薄弱。两个民警出现在门口的时候那个敲门的男人还没走，隔好远就能闻见浓郁的酒味。问了几句话才知道原来是喝醉了酒，把别人家当成自己家，敲错门了。民警一边把酒鬼带下楼，一边敲门想要交代房主几句，结果房主颤颤巍巍开门的时候先甩出一把菜刀来，倒把敲门的民警吓了一跳！ 22:10，穆忻去看张乐的时候他正带着个见习民警审讯网络诈骗嫌疑人。嫌疑人很年轻，不过二十出头的样子，看上去张乐好像还认识他，正兀自对着低头不发一言的犯罪嫌疑人絮叨：“你奶奶岁数那么大了，你自己不学好也别连累老人家，你要是进去了，她怎么办，谁照顾？她还有风湿，那么严重，你好歹学学好，赚钱给她治治。”嫌疑人不说话，张乐继续念叨：“你别以为不说话我就会放了你，我告诉你吧，所谓的'坦白从宽，牢底坐穿；抗拒从严，回家过年'，都是糊弄你们这些没眼力见儿的人的。你哥我干这行多少年了？我从能听懂人话就听我爸讲咋审讯，我只要看看你那眼神儿就知道你小子心虚！你说都姓张，你怎么这么丢我们老张家的人？诈骗！你还真好意思拿你那张脸去骗人？”嫌疑人终于忍不住反驳：“我没有！”张乐翻个白眼：“你没有？你知不知道那小姑娘是偷了他爸爸的医药费给你的？她爸爸还在医院躺着呢，你想想要是你奶奶躺在医院里，你能这么狠心？你还一骗就三万！”嫌疑人急红了眼：“哪有那么多！”……空气瞬间凝滞，张乐看看说漏了嘴的嫌疑人，长叹口气，穆忻崇拜地看看张乐，五体投地，嫌疑人抱着脑袋缩在椅子里，悔不当初。 ... 后来许多次，穆忻这样感慨，其实不管是张乐，还是派出所里其他民警，都是那种随处可见的普通警察形象，他们偶尔粗声大嗓，偶尔有点痞气，但这都不妨碍他们目光如炬，从最不起眼的地方寻找蛛丝马迹。没少发牢骚，但习惯苦中作乐，有时有点凶，但总归瑕不掩瑜。 而真正从局机关下放到需要经常办案、需要整日里和群众接触的派出所之后，穆忻才渐渐发现这里强大的感染力——许多人，哪怕曾经并不是这个圏子里的一员，没有上过警校，不是警察世家，伹只要身在这个群体中，那么很快便会随着自己情不自禁的融入而悄然转型。 到这时，她不知道自己是不是开始有一点点理解杨谦，如果坚持不变，办案或许真的会有难度。工作无法开展，对一个办案民警来说，才是最致命的瓶颈。 因为理解，所以认真。 就像这份职业，她渐渐理解，才会感受到其中那些不为人知的情感。 只可惜，对爱情而言，她理解得太晚，有限的坚持已经被时光消磨，再也找不回来。