Chapter 37 Chapter Thirty-Seven

Oh it's you…… I knelt under the tree, weeping uncontrollably. In the late summer of that year, the last rain fell beyond the boundary of time and fell into my life forever. All over the mountains and plains, the light red liquid flows quietly, converging in the streams and rivers washed by the heavy rain, and finally seeping into the soil, slowly disappearing, without even a sigh. The green grass mixed with the soil all over the mountains and fields is a damp and strong smell. In that evening, it has been strangely occupying my sense of smell. They are so strong that I can’t even smell the red liquid. I can stick out my tongue in vain, lick the liquid stained by my fingertips, and then be washed away by the rain in an instant. It has no taste, and maybe my sense of taste is also lost. beside his body, like a sad unicorn.

The rain at the end of summer is bone-chillingly cold. I held Jingshen's hands tightly, the skinny joints were tangled together, like a Lianli tree unwilling to die, his hands were as cold as ice, these hands once gently caressed my hair, and brought me countless Delicious, once fair and slender, in a drawer of traditional Chinese medicine... the hand that has haunted me for so many years... Depth of field, depth of field, I yelled his name over and over again, his eyelids trembled slightly, he was still breathing, he even wanted to pull his fingers away from my hand, but I could only hug his arm in a dumb and stubborn way. On the chest—even though, the wounds on the arms that were rolled and split, the scars left by saving me in the Internet cafe that night, they screamed at me in horror: Charlotte, you are not worthy of this man.

Those wounds are as painful as being torn on my body. If possible, I would rather not pass by, not those unbearable years, youthful youth, green for spring, summer solstice for wounds, we are in our destiny, going around and wandering for many years , actually went back to the original corner. But we have lost our memories, our love, our lives, and what we have found are no longer precious, no longer expectations, no longer fulfillment. Perhaps, only know cruelty, and grow up. The sound of rain is in my ears, like the tide rolling in the distant time. At the end of the sea and the world, there was a time when I loved you as long as a legend, but they can never come back, just like we can never go back , Depth of Field, if you knew that I had already remembered everything, wouldn't you hate me even more?

Depth of field, I see your stubbornly closed eyebrows, they used to be a door with simple and quiet carvings on it, and there were long burning candles in the door, they used to light up vividly in my countless sleepy dreams The light, like the ever-burning lamp in front of the Buddha's seat, is gentle and compassionate—but I failed to catch it, and I will never have the chance to catch it again. Depth of field, your countless good intentions were cruelly rejected by my self-righteousness. outside the gate. But all that is not important anymore. Depth of Field is still alive. This is the most fortunate thing for me. Those crazy bullets failed to hit the vital parts of his body. At the critical moment, he can still protect me and avoid the vital parts. Without me, he might be able to escape this disaster unscathed.

I, his doom, is all because of me. He is exactly the same as the boy eight years ago. The years have carved more strength and tolerance on his face, but his soul has not changed. After so many years, he is still him. Only I have changed. The past fragments in my mind wantonly mocked my weakness and ignorance. I can only smile wryly. How passionately and infatuated I was with this man back then. He and his medicinal fragrance used to be the whole of my life, but now it’s gone , everything is left in a mess. God has eyes, but fate tricks people. The police never came. Only a few brothers whom Zhu Huan had called in advance rushed to arrive, but Chen Shujun and Gao Wang had already disappeared after the burst of gunfire.

Zhu Huan snatched an umbrella from his brother and stuffed it for me, and took off a dry coat for me to change into. I saw the anxiety in his eyes, but I could only reply in a low voice: "Thank you, I don't need it." .” "sister……" He looked at me, then at the depth of field, he hesitated to speak. Depth of Field only lay down for a while, and stood up again. His whole body was light red, with bloodstains washed by the rain. He still stood stubbornly leaning against a tree, overlapping with the shadow of eight years ago, but eight years later He stood under the tree and didn't look at me anymore, he just asked Zhu Huan, "The police haven't come yet?"

His voice was so weak that it was panting, like a candle flickering in the wind. Every time he said a word, I couldn't help but feel a sharp pain in my heart. "Police? Don't mention it. Those bastards have a big backstage. Let's go. My brother drove over and is right below. Go to the hospital first. It's good that you two are still alive, and you can worry about other things when you go back." Jing Shen sighed, maybe he had thought of this result a long time ago, only me, naive as a fool. "My mobile phone is also broken." Zhu Huan asked someone to help the depth of field down the mountain, while shaking his head and complaining, he took out his half-broken mobile phone and said, "There was something I eavesdropped on here, now it's over." , Those bastards have big backgrounds, they probably won't even file a case for us."

"Ah?!" I was anxious, and quickly said, "I don't care about it? I'm also a witness. The police and the law don't care about the kidnappers and murderers with guns?" Zhu Huan and Jing Shen looked at me at the same time with eyes like looking at me. I don't understand: "Then your injuries, the depth of field's injuries, are all in vain?" All...for me...?When I mentioned the word depth of field, my heart ached again. "Let's go back and discuss." Zhu Huan said. Several people got into a van, and the car drove all the way into the urban area. Depth of Field was sitting in the back seat, his face was pale and covered in blood, and the cloth strips tied on his shoulders and arms had already been soaked in blood. I could hardly imagine how many people there were. A bullet pierced his body.

Even if it is not fatal, it is still raw flesh and blood!If I hadn't been stubborn at the time, if I hadn't dragged him down, he wouldn't have been hurt like this. Now, how much does he hate me in his heart? I raised my eyes and peeked at him, his lips were tightly closed, the wet hair was sticking to his cheeks, and there were still a few strands hanging in front of his eyes, as the car vibrated and swayed weakly, I wanted to help him untangle it, just stretched out my hand, When he opened his eyes and looked straight at me, I immediately retracted my hand in fright. In my whole life, I have never seen such cold and heartless eyes from him.

It was as if there was a last bit of warm light, which was also extinguished in my life. "I'm sorry..." I could only say to him muffled, but the voice was so small that I couldn't even hear myself. The car parked on the side of the road, and I looked out the window. I am quite familiar with this place. The bar with bright signs on the roadside is called Shenhua. It is the place where Zhu Huan sang for a year, and it is also where I often come to drink. In the same place, and three roads away, there is a rather large district-level hospital. If you don't seek medical treatment for the injury of Depth of Field, you may lose too much blood and die.

Zhu Huan was sitting in the front row, suddenly thought of something, turned around and said, "Shen Jing, your gunshot wound, going to a regular hospital...would it be troublesome?" "Then go to my clinic!" The buddy driving said hastily, "Small clinics, even the police can't find them. If you go to a regular hospital, you're afraid they'll find you again. These days, there are a lot of people who kill people with medical accidents... ..." I wanted to make fun of this buddy, his clinic specializes in infertility, and thanks to his kindness, I just heard him say the last sentence, and my mood instantly fell to the bottom. medical malpractice. kill. It was as if a basin of ice water was poured on my head, my limbs were cold, like falling into an ice cellar, such an unbearable past, but I was lucky enough to survive, but I repaid my kindness with revenge, and even hurt Jing Shen like this. The wound in his heart is probably worse than that on his body. deeper. For a person like me, what qualifications do I have to be with him, and what qualifications do I have to ask him to forgive me? "Whatever." - I only heard him chatting with Zhu Huan and the others in a low voice, he said: "Go to the clinic, I am also a doctor, I can handle it myself." Zhu Huan probably saw that he was fine, so he got excited, patted his buddy on the shoulder with amplified voice, and said with a smile: "He is still a top student at the University of Pennsylvania, don't you want to study medicine, ask him to be your teacher ,Hahaha." "Hey, A Huan, don't you still call yourself a Harvard graduate? You showed me your diploma the other day..." The buddy driving was not convinced. Zhu Huan laughed out loud when he heard the words. I couldn’t hear what they said. I leaned against the car window with one side of my cheek. I made a mistake, and I said, "I want to get off." "Sister, what do you want to do? I'll take you home later." Zhu Huan said. And Depth of Field just glanced at me, closed his eyes and rested his mind, which made me even more depressed and annoyed, I said: "I'm fine, you go to the clinic, I just want to go for a walk alone, or go for a drink." After I finished speaking, I opened the car door and walked to the bar named Shinhwa. At this time, I don't need comfort or rest. I just want to get drunk and forget everything. If numbness can relieve the pain. Zhu Huan said: "Sister, then I will accompany you!" "No need." I opened the door and went down, I didn't even bother to take an umbrella. Maybe I'm a cowardly person in my bones. I don't want to see him hurt, let alone see him in pain. Whenever I can't do anything, the only thing I can do is to escape. I was like crazy, trying to run away from him. "Charlotte, you still don't know how to love yourself." A voice sounded behind me, Zhu Huan would not say that, the strange coldness in the voice belonged to the depth of field alone, or it was just my hallucination-when I looked back, the van had passed the traffic light and disappeared In the sea of ​​traffic in the rain and fog. Yes, I don’t know how to love myself, but he still hated me and shamed me in the end. I thought of that voice, stood in the middle of the crossroads, held back the tears all the way, and finally fell down, breaking the bank, and my heart ached so much that I couldn’t hold it back. I found a corner in the bar and sat down. I haven’t been here for a few years. The waiters here have been replaced. It’s probably because I have a bad complexion and blood stains all over my body. No one dares to come up to strike up a conversation. I drink the most alcohol alone. brandy, and it was dark until it was dark. In the dim light, a beggar-like man in a tattered suit sat across from me. I glanced at him, but I didn't feel disgusted. I just thought that I could meet people who were more down and out than me here. "Hey, buddy, are you out of love too?" I greeted him with a strange feeling in my heart. Perhaps, they are also people who have fallen in the end of the world. "No, I'm unemployed." He said, and as he spoke, he took off his sunglasses with half of the corner missing. As in the past, I must have spewed out a mouthful of wine, this... This, this person, was none other than someone else, who was missing at the moment, because the company went bankrupt due to lawsuits, everyone shouted and beaten, and Jing Shen had been looking for it for a long time, Jin, Liang, Yi ! It can be seen that the rivers and lakes do not meet each other, but now I have long since lost that kind of heart, I just smiled weakly and said, "It turns out that I am the Master of Longevity." The face of the impostor Imyoyoshi is no longer as red as it used to be, and even the fat is as if he has taken clenbuterol, leaving only layers of skin hanging down on his cheeks, except for the ugly, Still ugly. But why am I not ugly?I was drinking while laughing, laughing and crying, crying and laughing, Imayoshi is also, probably affected by my emotions, after a few glasses of wine, he also started laughing, laughing and crying, like a madman, and then like a child. In short, we two fools sat opposite each other, toasted again, and ended up complaining to each other. Once Jin Liangyi opened his chatterbox, he couldn't take it back, and I finally understood that the fundamental reason why he was able to fool so many good men and women back then was because of his mouth. "My wife ran away with the secretary of the county party committee, my son died in a mining accident, and I was laid off. Tell me, how do I live?" At the end of Imayoshi's story, a glass of wine was placed on the table, and the transparent liquid fell from the table to the ground, and also fell from his eyes to his face. I never thought that when the stage lights dimmed, When the gorgeous heavy makeup was removed, such an old man would actually cry in public. I said, "There must be something pitiful about a hateful person. It seems that we are all the same." Imyoyoshi laughed, and said, "Tell me your story, brother, my fortune-telling is nonsense, but at least I am a good listener." That night, in the rotten mist, rain, light and shadow, I drank the last bottle of wine and told him the story of my past. I once loved a boy named Depth of Field.