Chapter 12 Chapter 12 The Choice of Life and Death
It was the same boring day again, Wan Yu took off her daytime armor and walked into the lazy atmosphere of the bar at night.A silly boy wearing glasses walked up to him, holding a bouquet of roses, blocking Wan Yu's way.The silly boy smiled foolishly, his face was covered with freckles, his words leaked, and he looked very individual.
"Hello! I've been waiting for you for a long time!" the silly boy said to Wan Yu.
Wan Yu looked at the flowers in the other party's hand, and said gently: "Hehe, you may have made a mistake. I don't know you."
The silly boy reported his family name: "My name is Chen Xiaohua, and I also live in the love apartment. Everyone says this apartment is amazing. Now I believe it because I met you. I have been paying attention to you for a long time. The first time I saw you, you Just 'conquer' me."
Wan Yu avoided the other party's eyes: "Thank you, but I don't want to 'conquer' you either, this may be an accident."
Xiao Hua still didn't give up: "Next Valentine's Day, are you free? I want to ask you out."
Wan Yu's head is getting bigger: "...but there are still more than 300 days before Valentine's Day."
Xiaohua said very seriously: "I know that there are many people who pursue you. So, I want to make an appointment for next year's Valentine's Day, so please give me a chance. My heart sweet."
"It's sweet heart." Wan Yu corrected.
Xiaohua begged and said in vain: "Just promise me, you see I am very sincere."
Wan Yu deliberately made things difficult: "I'm sorry, that's how it is. Have you passed the GRE?"
Xiao Hua had no idea what Wan Yu was talking about: "I... don't have an aunt"
"What about TOEFL?"
"Blessed by whom?"
Wan Yu was very satisfied: "Uh... I don't like boys who are not good at English. You should read English well before you come to me."
"Oh." Xiao Hua turned and left.
Wan Yu looked for a seat and sat down on the sofa, beside Meijia, Zhanbo, and Guan Gu, who were drinking drinks and eating cakes.
Yifei supported her head and said enviously, "You have it. It's your fan again."
But Wan Yu looked tired: "Huh, I was scared to death. This is the third time this week." She really looked like she was in the blessing and didn't know the blessing.
Meijia began to gossip again: "I didn't see the face just now, is he handsome?"
Wan Yu said affirmatively: "Ugly, but very ugly, that is, very ugly!"
Guan Gu admired: "It's amazing (Japanese)! I'm asking you out for dinner again?"
Wan Yu said helplessly: "This is even more outrageous, he wants to invite me to dinner on Valentine's Day next year."
Everyone was in an uproar.
Meijia smiled the most exaggeratedly: "It's so funny, it's only April now."
Zhan Bo said seriously: "I heard that it's called Valentine's Day phobia, and it was published in the newspaper yesterday."
"Valentine's Day phobia?" Mika was surprised.
Zhanbo explained patiently: "I'm just worried that there will be no one to accompany me on Valentine's Day. Seeing that everyone else is in a one-to-one relationship, but I am alone, I will feel a kind of fear. The key is that I will lose face."
"Oh, no wonder." Wan Yu seemed to have discovered something in common among her suitors.
Yifei disdained: "Cut, what's wrong, stupid earthlings." Looking up at the ceiling, a very realistic picture appeared in his mind: he was depressed in the picture, and there was a sign next to it, which said "Hu Yifei distance There are still 307 days to Valentine's Day." Hu Yifei took down the word "Valentine's Day" and revealed the word "no face" behind, so she was even more depressed.It turned out that the crueler the imagination, the more real it seemed.
"If it were me, I'd find a spare tire first." Meijia threw out a strange talk.
"What is a spare tire?" This time it was Wan Yu who became interested.
Meijia patiently explained: "Find a man you are familiar with and book it first. In case you have no direction at that time, you can make an emergency. The problem of losing face will be solved. You say yes, Miss Yifei." Big eyes rolled around .
Yifei continued to be disdainful, sneered and shook his head: "Huh, a heartthrob like me doesn't have to worry about such boring questions!" Then he looked up at the ceiling: "Meijia, you are a genius," in the picture, Yifei stood counting down Underneath the sign read, "Write it down, write it down."
Zi Qiao came out of the toilet and went to the bar. "Boss, give me another beer."
Yifei followed furtively from the sofa, holding a plate with cakes in it. "This cup is mine."
"Wow! So good." Zi Qiao said in surprise.
Yifei also pretended to be unreasonable: "Which one of us is rooting for each other!"
Zi Qiao immediately revealed it: "Is there something wrong? Yifei."
Yifei said cautiously: "Ha, it's all right—do you have any plans for next year's Valentine's Day?"
"What's the matter?" Zi Qiao felt strange.
Yifei cleared his throat: "cough cough. I said, if, if it comes to Valentine's Day, you and I have no arrangements yet. The two of us can be companions, don't think too much, just companions. What do you think? Because look In iPartment, there are only you and me, who can be regarded as the dragons and phoenixes among the people, with outstanding talents, so—" Waiting for Ziqiao to answer.
"That's true." The beauty's courteousness has always been effective for Zi Qiao.
Yifei was pleasantly surprised: "You agree?"
Zi Qiao pulled her face down: "I'm sorry. You are a step late."
"what?"
"Meijia has already told me. Just five minutes ago, when I went to the bathroom."
"Huh?" Yifei couldn't believe it, Meijia's actions were so fast?
Zi Qiao said while returning to the sofa area: "I can't help it. You also know that I am very sought-after, and this kind of crowded door often happens. I'm sorry, but I'm still free for Valentine's Day next year," Seeing Hu Yifei shaking his head , "Hey, why don't you think about Teacher Zeng?"
Yifei shook her head even harder: "Don't disgust me..."
At this time, Zeng Xiaoxian walked into the bar with a radiant look. "What are you talking about?"
Ziqiao happened to help Yifei tell the matter: "Oh, Yifei wants to ask you about your lover..."
Hu Yifei stuffed a piece of cake into Zi Qiao's mouth.
Xiaoxian wondered: "Lover? What lover?"
Yifei changed the topic: "As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what is in the eye of beauty?"
Xiaoxian blurted out: "Eye shit!"
Everyone was sick.
Meijia excitedly held the cake: "Guan Gu-jun, you should eat more."
Guan Gu's stomach turned even worse.
Xiaoxian was still on the spot in a daze: "Hey, I've been standing here for 10 seconds, and none of you asked me what happened after my date with Rongrong last night?"
Everyone's gossip nerves were aroused, and they cast their gazes one after another.
Guan Gu held back a smile and asked, "Then how is your date?"
"You will never believe me if I tell you, she is completely different from what I imagined now." Xiao Xian kept looking away, telling everyone about an intoxicating date...
The lights in the bar were dim, and the two sat opposite each other at the coffee table, Rong Rong beaming with joy, while Zeng Xiaoxian was listening and preparing to cut a pineapple.
Rong Rong vividly narrated: "...I started working for National Geographic magazine after that. I went to Palestine half a year ago. You know there was a war there. Once Johnnylulu and I drove a Hummer from Tulkarm (Tulkarm) Crossing the border of Qalqilya to a gas station between Nablus and Salfit, suddenly there were machine guns on both sides, and a grenade exploded in front of me. You know, this distance is right here." Rongrong pointed at Zeng Xiaoxian's pineapple, and Zeng Xiaoxian cut the pineapple in half, sweating so much that he stopped the knife in his hand.
"Fortunately, the shrapnel flew past the corner of my eye." Rongrong always used onomatopoeia very suddenly, which frightened Xiaoxian for a moment.
"Are you okay?" Xiaoxian said distressedly.
Rongrong's tone became more and more urgent: "My mind went blank at the time. Fortunately, I was safe and sound. But Johnnylulu was not so lucky-the shrapnel hit him with a 'shua!'" Xiaoxian Just about to eat a pineapple, I was so scared by the last onomatopoeia that the fork almost dropped!
"Who is this Johnnylulu?" Xiaoxian wanted to know, but was afraid of appearing too petty, after all, everyone was shot.
"He's a Palestinian guerrilla. Guess where the shrapnel went?" Xiaoxian was about to stuff the pineapple into his mouth again, Rongrong pointed at the bottom secretly, "—he may not be able to have children from now on , Hahahaha, do you think it's funny?" A look of gloating.
Xiaoxian laughed cooperatingly: "Hahahaha. It's quite funny." In fact, it was creepy.
Rong Rong turned to say affectionately: "You know what? The moment the bullet passed my cheek, what was I thinking?"
Xiaoxian shook his head.
"I thought of you, Xian'er," Rongrong said, touching Zeng Xiaoxian's hand, before Xiaoxian could enjoy the tenderness, Rongrong suddenly clapped her hands, "By the way, what magical adventures have you had recently, tell me about them? "It tore Xiaoxian's spirit to pieces.
"Okay," Xiaoxian cleared his throat, and his voice became furtive, "Once, once, in a dark night, I remember it was very dark, really dark. I was in the subway station... with a 'whoosh' sound A subway stopped in front of me, I walked up, and suddenly there was a 'ding' sound, and the subway door closed with a 'wow'." The frequency of Xiaoxian's onomatopoeia has also become very high driven by Rong Rong, "Did you know, that was the last train, and I was the only one in the whole car... At this moment, my phone 'Di Ling Ling' rang, and I quickly picked it up, but the other party hung up the phone..."
Rongrong said with a lot of emotion, "What happened next?"
"You really can't imagine it, but later..." Xiaoxian was still playing tricks, "I got home safe and sound. Can you believe it! I came back alive!" Happy to rejoice for himself, as if he was alive after a catastrophe.
Rongrong couldn't help laughing, but it wasn't a happy smile, but rather a funny one.
Everyone in the bar listening to the story booed.
Yifei said sarcastically: "This is your magical adventure——Xian'er?"
Wan Yu said sympathetically, "It's not easy for Rong Rong."
Mika also learned to use onomatopoeia: "Did she have 'PIU' nosebleed after hearing this?"
Xiaoxian asked back unconvinced: "I just like a peaceful life, can't I? Not everyone's experience can be filmed in "Midnight Ring" OK?...And the subway was really scary that day, you believe me!" Said Then, the body trembled a few more times.
Everyone despised again in unison: "Cut——"
Only Guan Gu gave me face: "Teacher Zeng, you continue."
Xiaoxian quickly began to describe it with full body and mind: "We are like this, we talked very happily and harmoniously, and we talked all the way into the night..."
Rong Rong continued to tell the story: "Then I opened my eyes in a 'bass', guess where I am?" Xiaoxian shook his head in confusion, "—we are actually at the Royal International Airport in Caseblanca, Morocco In the men's room at the McDonald's next door."
Xiaoxian became alert again: "Wait, wait, us? Are you referring to us..." Still embarrassed to ask.
Rong Rong generously admitted: "Well... Me and Mike."
Guan Gu interrupted Xiaoxian: "Where did this Mike come from?"
Xiaoxian also asked the same question at the time: "Where did this Mike come from?"
Rongrong said lightly, "Didn't I mention him earlier? My fiancé."
Hearing this, everyone outside the story screamed: "Ahhhhh~~~"
Xiaoxian continued the conversation with Rongrong: "So...you were engaged at that time?" His face started to twitch.
Rongrong replied ambiguously: "Is it considered?"
Xiaoxian painfully squeezed out four words: "Congratulations ~ Congratulations."
Everyone outside the arena shook Xiaoxian's hand in turn, and the dance music in the bar also became sad and joyful.
Meijia said sadly: "Teacher Zeng, my condolences have changed!"
Wan Yu was even more sad: "Teacher Zeng, take care." She clenched her hands tightly.
Yifei pressed his shoulders: "Stand up and don't get down."
Guan Gu bowed, already too sad to speak.
Zi Qiao patted the back of his hand.
Zhan Bo hugged his thigh and was about to say something when Xiao Xian slapped him aside.
Of course Xiaoxian wanted to clarify the matter: "You were engaged at the time, so has it been canceled now?" Inspired the other party.
"No." Rongrong said firmly.
Xiaoxian also wants the other party to think of something beneficial to him: "Oh, is it that he... was injured... the same as that Johnnylulu?" His expression was innocent.
Rongrong still denied: "No. Up to now, he is still my fiancé." She took out a ring from her pocket, which was shining brightly.
Xiaoxian's heart was burned by the brilliance of the ring, and it hurt very badly: "Why didn't you take it out earlier?"
Rongrong still looked disapproving: "Fiance! It doesn't mean anything. Besides, I'm afraid you will think too much when you see it."
Because of the twisted mind, Xiaoxian could hardly suppress the anger in his heart: "Since you have a fiancé, I am very curious about how he feels now."
"What do you feel?" Rong Rong was at a loss.
"I just saw you... sitting across from me now. Then..." Xiaoxian's eyes drifted away, while Rong Rong looked at him seductively, "Then your feet rubbed against my pants, and you can basically count my toes Change in pocket."
Rongrong smiled and lowered her head.
A crazy idea popped up in Xiaoxian's mind: "Wait a minute, why am I curious? It's not like I haven't worn a green hat before. But fortunately, the role has changed this time, huh? The scar is healed, and it doesn't hurt anymore!"
Rongrong couldn't help laughing: "Xiaoxian, you don't have to worry. I think he should be able to accept it. Because he also accepted William's doing so."
Xiaoxian's hair stood on end: "I'm sorry, William? Who is William?"
Rongrong brought the spirit of disapproval to the extreme: "William is my boyfriend."
"Ahhhhhh~~~" Everyone has retreated to the other side of the sofa, as if they want to gather everyone's strength to resist the poisonous poison in the story, but they still can't escape after all.Everyone huddled together and let out a dying groan.
Xiaoxian in the story is the one who is having the hardest time: "Do you still have a boyfriend?"
"Well, he's a Taipei painter."
"Well~ As I said bluntly, since you already have a fiancé and a boyfriend. Then why..."
"Haha, you misunderstood."
Xiaoxian used his last courage to deceive himself in his heart: "Yes, I knew I made a mistake, how could it be possible, these are just jokes."
Rongrong raised her smiling face and said in a calm tone: "Actually, I still have six boyfriends." That calmness was like counting empty beer bottles at home.
Xiaoxian closed his eyes, saw the bloody picture of his head exploding, and thought of "Hallelujah" in his ears.
Xiaoxian's mouth was no longer under the control of his thoughts: "Please ask, is that Johnnylulu from Palestine also your boyfriend?"
"He is not."
"It's okay." Xiaoxian can only be thankful for this little number game.
"He is my ex-husband. I have two more ex-husbands." Rongrong looked at Xiaoxian with a smile.
Xiaoxian saw fireworks starting to go off in the hole where his head was lost, and it was colorful.
"I think I'm a little uncomfortable." Xiaoxian got up and was about to leave in embarrassment, staggering.
Rongrong chased after her, and grabbed Zeng Xiaoxian's hand: "What's wrong with you?"
"It's nothing, I'm a little dizzy. Your experience is really...thrilling, and I might...be glad to meet you." Xiaoxian helped the stairs up and down the bar, barely stopped, covering his head with his hands, in extreme pain .
Rongrong asked cautiously: "Actually, you still care about me, don't you?" On the contrary, there was a sweetness on her face.
Xiaoxian also wants to make himself feel sweet, but things are completely beyond his ability to bear. "Hehe, maybe this question is not important? Since you already have... 6 boyfriends, 2 ex-husbands, and a fiancé, do you still care about one more or one less?"
Rongrong's lips trembled slightly: "I'm back this time..."
Xiaoxian interrupted: "When you come back this time, you should organize a 'Victims' Association' for all your boyfriends."
Rongrong's expression was sad and beautiful: "...I am a girl, wandering around, living in no fixed place, I have traveled most of the world, and in retrospect, the most unforgettable thing is you!"
"Oh! oh! Really?" Xiaoxian didn't know what words to answer.
"That's why I came back to look for you." Rongrong said firmly.
Xiaoxian held back tears: "I am so far away from your world, what do you think our relationship can do?"
Rongrong stared at Xiaoxian, suddenly put his arms around Xiaoxian's waist, bent down, and kissed Xiaoxian.
"Do you have any more questions to ask?" Rongrong put her arms around Xiaoxian's neck.
Xiaoxian licked his lips: "No more."
"That's the story." Xiaoxian announced the end.
The crowd maintained their jaw-dropping postures, like sculptures, as if a group of crows flew over their heads, screaming and bringing a row of exclamation points and ellipses.
Xiaoxian waved: "Hello~~~ Hello!"
Everyone came to their senses.
"Did you understand? Comrade Hu Yifei?" Xiaoxian asked everyone to express their thoughts by name.
"I've seen many, many sluts, but I've never seen such a slut." Yifei said blankly.
Xiaoxian firmly stood by Rongrong's side: "Hey! How can you say that about Rongrong!"
Yifei continued: "I'm talking about you. How dare you continue to associate with such a woman?"
Xiaoxian said aggrievedly: "I couldn't accept it at first, but then I thought about it, and it's no big deal. Being with her has a lot of benefits and no harm."
"Have you been kicked in the head by a donkey?" Yifei couldn't bear the fact that men were so cheap.
"Rongrong is not an ordinary woman to me." Xiaoxian was still defending her.
Yifei sneered: "Of course, how can ordinary women have a 'victim association'."
"I mean, she's back. We can chat, date, be happy, and most importantly - I don't have to take any responsibility." Xiaoxian's expression was actually not that happy.
Yifei made a gesture of incomprehension.
"Zi Qiao, you understand right?" Xiaoxian pointed out the most amorous person on the scene.
Zi Qiao nodded.
"Where's Guan Gu?"
Guan Gu was thoughtful: "Oh, that Palestinian guerrilla and William are not the same person!"
Xiaoxian sweats with everyone.
"In short, this is every man's dream!" Xiaoxian encouraged himself.
Meijia pointed out the kindest person on the scene: "Not necessarily! Zhanbo, is this also your dream?"
"Of course not!" Zhan Bo replied.
"See!" Mika was very satisfied with his answer.
Wan Yu kept nodding.
Xiaoxian used aggressive methods: "Oh, I forgot, Zhanbo's dream is to go to Narnia."
Zhanbo was really fooled: "Who said that? Alright! I admit that this is indeed every man's dream."
The three women collectively disdain.
Wan Yu plausibly said: "But as the saying goes, good horses don't turn their heads, and good bees don't pick up flowers."
"That's right!" Guan Gu agreed.
Mika asked in surprise, "Wow, do you even know the meaning of this sentence?"
Guan Gu immediately showed his feet: "No, I just think it sounds very good!"
Yifei brought out the lessons of the past: "Rongrong even gave you a cuckold before, which is really outrageous."
"I can't do it!" Zi Qiao said belatedly. It seemed that this incident was also a fantasy for him, and he really thought about it.
"Look! Ziqiao is a good man." Yifei said excitedly.
Zi Qiao's expression was stern: "If it were me, before deciding whether to date a girl, I must first confirm that I must have more boats under my feet than hers. Otherwise, it will be too bad."
Mika picked up the mat and threw Joe.
Wan Yu pointed out the seriousness of the problem: "It would be fine if this is the case, but from what you said, Rongrong's current situation is no longer a matter of standing on several boats."
Guan Gu interjected: "I know, I know, this is called - chained boats, like walking on flat ground."
Meijia chimed in: "Look, even Guan Gu knows that you can't beat him. Wait a minute, what is chained boat?"
Xiaoxian, who fell in love, could no longer listen to criticism and criticism: "Hey! Are you like this? I have completely stood up from where I fell before, and I can face it calmly. You should be happy for me, right?"
Wan Yu said earnestly: "We are just worried that you will fall twice in the same place."
Yifei continued to sarcastically: "Don't say that about our teacher Zeng, how could he fall? Green fur turtles all over the world are on all fours. Let it fall and let me see." Everyone laughed, Xiaoxian glared One fee.
A waiter came over: "Excuse me, who ordered 'Green Mood' just now?" He said and brought a glass of green juice.
Everyone pointed at Xiaoxian together: "He!"
Guan Gu was painting in the studio, Yifei knocked on the door and Guan Gu opened it. "Yifei, hello!" "Guan Gu, are you working? Excuse me?" Yifei said pretentiously. "No. Do not disturb, please come in. I am reciting Chinese idioms." It turned out that what Guan Gu was holding was not a paintbrush, but a small dictionary. "Why don't I test you on an idiom—plan ahead, do you know what it means?" There was a hint in Yifei's words. Of course Guan Gu couldn't tell: "Feed the fish and smoke the cat? Oh, the Chinese must like fish, but not cats. Fish are very good, you should feed them! Cats are not good, you should smoke them!" Yifei had no choice but to give further advice: "Prepare for a rainy day!—meaning to prepare for things that haven't happened yet." "Oh! Live and learn. Cats are cheap, so you can't smoke them. It's too peaceful to smoke them to prevent them from stealing fish. Hehe." Guan Gu is proud of his ability to understand. Hu Yifei's expression was twitching. "Well, you didn't come to me to teach me idioms, did you?" Guan Gu is not completely ignorant sometimes. "No! Of course not." Yifei was a little excited. "I don't think you're that boring." "What?" Yifei was a little sullen. "Just tell me if you have anything to say." Yifei said embarrassedly: "Actually, I want to ask you, this...you don't have a girlfriend yet, right?" "No." "Great!" Yifei clapped her hands and shouted. Guan Gu looked at her questioningly: "Although I don't know what it means to feed fish and smoke cats, I know what it means to gloat." Yifei stopped smiling, wanted to explain but was embarrassed: "You misunderstood, it is like this, how about we make an agreement? If, I said if, if you and I come to next year's Valentine's Day, there is no arrangement yet. .I mean, we are similar in appearance, education and taste, and we will be very suitable in the eyes of others. So, when the time comes, we can all have a companion—what do you think..." Finally finished speaking, But doubt whether the other party can understand. On this matter, Guan Gu was unexpectedly clever: "Oh! I see, what you call taking precautions before they happen, in case of emergencies?" "Wow! You can speak idioms again in a while." Yifei was delighted. "Hehe, Mijia taught me." Guan Gu said modestly. Yifei was puzzled: "Why did she teach you this?" Guan Gu confessed honestly: "She said almost exactly the same thing as you. She has booked me for Valentine's Day next year." Yifei was shocked on the spot: "Meijia? But I just asked Ziqiao, did Meijia order Ziqiao?" Guan Gu was even more shocked: "What?" "Yes." Yifei confirmed. Guan Gu asked in disbelief: "Meijia also ordered Ziqiao!" The two scolded together angrily: "It's unreasonable." "I thought she only booked me." Guan Gu was obviously upset. Yifei, as a Chinese, of course cannot lose the quintessence of the country to the Japanese: "There is a Chinese idiom called——" Guan Gu snatched it up surprisingly quickly: "Two-faced and three-knife, eating inside and out, yelling and yawning, saying things differently, saying and doing things differently, slashing at both sides!" "Hmm...the last idiom is incorrect." Guan Gu's anger still persists: "It's too much. Yifei, I've changed my mind. The agreement between me and Meijia is cancelled. The stinky cat on Valentine's Day, we two are settled!" What Yifei wants is this effect: "It's a deal!" Guan Gu said viciously: "Meijia, you are the first grader, and Xiu blames me for the second grader!" "Correct it: it's—fifteen!" Yifei turned around in surprise at the door. Guan Gu was taken aback, and flipped through the book: "Oh, after the Spring Festival, the Mid-Autumn Festival will be here?" The clock pointed to 7:05, and Zhan Bo came down from upstairs, yawning.Zeng Xiaoxian was busy making breakfast. "Morning!" Xiaoxian greeted. Zhanbo said sleepily, "Mr. Zeng is making breakfast, he must be dreaming, I'll go back to sleep." Just as Zhan Bo turned around, he bumped into Wan Yu who was also wearing pajamas and came down: "I smell Italian bacon and snow peas stewed with French fries. McDonald's has a new product for breakfast?" Xiaoxian greeted cheerfully: "Come and have breakfast. I did all of this." Yifei came out of the room: "Did you get transferred by Lisa Chen to do the gourmet program because of the poor ratings of the show?" Xiaoxian frowned coldly: "Hmph, don't underestimate me, people will change." Zhanbo and Wanyu sat down around the dining table. At this moment, Ziqiao crawled in through the window, still in her pajamas. Wan Yu asked in surprise, "Zi Qiao, why don't you come in?" Zi Qiao stretched her head and sniffed with her nose: "I smell the fragrance coming from the window." Zhan Bo said: "It's a good thing we don't sell pancakes downstairs, otherwise he would definitely jump down." Ziqiao sat down rudely: "Where is the thing! Give me food! Wahahaha!" Xiaoxian brought out a large bowl of breakfast for everyone, which was full of fried dough sticks. Wan Yu said depressedly: "Why do you still eat fried dough sticks and boiled rice? I can clearly smell the smell of Italian bacon." Zi Qiao also echoed: "That's right! I also brought equipment specially." As he spoke, he took out a knife and fork from the pocket of his nightgown, sharp. "Oh, this is the standard configuration for breakfast. I was afraid that she would not be used to Chinese food, so I made an extra serving of Western food." Xiaoxian said, bringing out a very, very awesome breakfast, which is full of portions, enough for 4 people. It passed by in front of everyone's eyes, leaving only the fragrance. Everyone was surprised: "Her?!" At this time, Rongrong came out of Xiaoxian's bedroom, and walked quickly while putting on makeup. "Xian'er, have you seen my earrings? I'm running out of time, why didn't you call me. Oh, good morning everyone." Only then did they find out. Everyone stared wide-eyed, imitating Rong Rong's accent: "Good morning~~" and waved their hands mechanically. Xiaoxian approached Rongrong: "You tell me the meeting at 8 o'clock, I want you to sleep a little longer." Rongrong said anxiously: "It's true that the meeting is at 8 o'clock, but I have an appointment with Paul at 7:30, so I can't be late!" "Paul?!" Another question mark was drawn in Xiaoxian's head. Yifei sarcastically said with a well-known metaphor besides Rongrong: "Oh! Waiter, I want to ask, do you offer fried green turtles for breakfast?" "Really? There are seafood! Can I use a knife and fork?" Zi Qiao rubbed the knife and fork against each other. Zeng Xiaoxian glared at the two of them angrily. Zi Qiao couldn't care so much anymore, picked up the knife and fork and started cutting the fried dough sticks. Rongrong continued to look for earrings everywhere. Xiaoxian hesitated and said, "Rongrong, who is this Paul...?" Rongrong walked up to Xiaoxian with a smile, and took his hand: "Are you jealous?" Xiaoxian pretended to be calm: "No—no! How is it possible. I just asked casually." Rongrong explained: "Paul is my college classmate. He has been unmarried until now because of me. When he knew I was back, he called and said he wanted to see me, and he cried so hard that if he couldn't see me, he would have a cut off." vein." The sound of cutting plates came from behind, and Xiaoxian looked back, Ziqiao was desperately cutting fried dough sticks with a knife. "Are you going to save him?" Xiaoxian said with hostility. Rongrong smiled and said, "Don't worry. He stutters. Besides, I don't have any feelings for him. I just don't want him to do stupid things for me again." "Oh, hehe, okay." Xiaoxian reluctantly accepted. Zhanbo suddenly realized: "Mr. Zeng, what is on your ear?" Rongrong clapped her hands: "Here are the earrings!" Zeng Xiaoxian wore Rongrong's earrings on his ears. Everyone booed: "u~" Teacher Zeng was also surprised. Rongrong smiled and said, "I forgot. I put it on for you when you fell asleep last night. I wanted to tease you." "You're really interesting." Xiaoxian said awkwardly. "I even painted your toenails." Zeng Xiaoxian's eyes widened. Everyone again: "u~" "Just kidding. But your big toe is the cutest I've ever seen!" Rongrong said, flirting with Xiaoxian in front of everyone. Xiaoxian is concerned about the face issue: "Have you painted it?" "I won't tell you, just take off your socks and see." Rongrong put the earrings on for herself and left. Xiaoxian held the dinner plate and chased after him: "Ah! I prepared breakfast for you! It's all European style. You can eat some!" Rongrong leaned against the door, making a charming gesture: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I gave up breakfast three years ago. However, when I woke up in the morning, I could see your cute jealous look, and I hiccupped You'll be full in one go! Hehe." While scratching Xiaoxian's nose lightly with his fingers, "Bye." Everyone said mechanically: "Goodbye." Rongrong closed the door. Zeng Xiaoxian turned around with a look of loss. Wan Yu comforted: "Teacher Zeng, don't be sad. She has already taken your wish." Zhanbo exaggerated: "Don't say it's her. All of us have felt it. Now the whole room is full of warm affection." Zi Qiao said while eating, "Mr. Zeng, why are these fried dough sticks cold? Could it be from yesterday?" Xiaoxian sat down on the sofa swaggeringly, and said impatiently: "Nonsense, I got up at four o'clock to buy fried dough sticks. Of course it's cold." "My god, it's so early!" Wan Yu exclaimed. "Hey! It doesn't mean anything, I just make breakfast for a friend I haven't seen for a long time—that's all!" Xiaoxian pretended to be relaxed. Yifei caught it again: "Then why did you have such a sour reaction when you heard that Paul?" "You guys look at me with tinted glasses. Go ahead and use your imagination. Rongrong and I are currently in the best state of being irresponsible to each other. So I'm fine. I don't have any mood swings, let alone jealousy!" Xiaoxian Fake generosity, but no one believed it. Wan Yu picked up the glass and took a sip: "Ah! What is this? So sour?!" It turned out to be a glass of green juice. Yifei continued to mock: "Zeng Xiaoxian's special drink, the designated drink for heartbroken people and cuckolds." Xiaoxian walked up to the crowd: "This is soybean juice! I bought it downstairs! If you don't drink it, you'll pass it off." Yifei is not yet addicted: "It took our great teacher Zeng two full years to finally get out of the shadow of the green hat and forget about Rongrong. Now it's time to celebrate. The way to celebrate is-" She shook her hand, "Bring her home to spend the night!" Xiaoxian's face was dull, and his mouth was stiff: "What do you know? She has no place to live here, so I will take her in for a while. And she sleeps on the bed, and I sleep on the floor. I'm not a random person." "You are not a human being casually." Yifei was not polite at all. "In order to avoid suspicion, I went to bed wearing tight clothes last night." Xiaoxian showed off his coat. "Of course, when will you let us see your incomparably huge big toe?" Yifei Shou Xiaoxian's ability is getting more and more advanced, and every sentence is stabbed at the fatal point. Zhan Bo and Wan Yu snickered, Zeng Xiaoxian glared at them, and they immediately continued to eat fried dough sticks with gloomy faces. Xiaoxian was eager to fight back: "Hu Yifei, you are jealous that I have a charming, sexy and unrestrained lover, right?" Yifei retorted: "Did you eat too much fake milk powder? Am I jealous of you?" Xiaoxian argues: "Rongrong has changed for me, and she has already begun to flatly reject other suitors. This stuttering Paul is an example." "Yeah, your charm is simply destructive. It was only the second day of reunion, and you eliminated a rival in love. Wait a minute, let me count," Yifei pretended to snap his fingers, "how many competitors do you have—oh , there is another company!" Zeng Xiaoxian was annoyed: "You..." Wan Yu hurriedly stepped forward to stop the situation from getting worse: "Mr. Zeng, we understand you." "Thank you." Xiaoxian felt that it was too difficult for him. Wan Yu quietly revealed her real purpose: "Please also understand that pot of Italian bacon meat, it won't taste good when it's cold." "Let's help you solve it." Zhanbo also took out a knife and fork. Xiaoxian waved his hand, "Let it go, Wanyu and Zhanbo walked towards the food immediately.Xiaoxian went to the bedroom alone, peeping in the corner to see if his toes were painted with nail polish. Zi Qiao was already full, with a full stomach, and suddenly saw Zhan Bo put a large bowl of hearty breakfast in front of him, and said dejectedly: "Didn't you say that I have a share, I am full of cold fried dough sticks! " "Then stop eating. Come here." Yifei dragged him into the storage room. Zi Qiao put her hands in her pajama pockets, looking impatient: "What's the matter?" "There's something I've always wanted to say, but I don't know if I should say it." Yifei asked tentatively. "Are you making a costume film? This is not your line. It's too fake." Zi Qiao knew something must be wrong. "...Well, it's about next year's Valentine's Day..." Yifei brought up the old story again. Zi Qiao interrupted: "I know, I know I'm in demand, but I've really been booked, but I can book you for my Ching Ming Festival." Yifei said disdainfully: "Don't be too stinky. Let me tell you, next year's Valentine's Day, Meijia not only booked you, but also booked Guan Gu." "What?" Zi Qiao was shocked by this blockbuster. "Well, she may need to save a spare tire." Yifei analyzed. Zi Qiao thought about it: "...the purpose of booking this thing is to find a spare tire, but now he has found Guan Gu, so am I the spare tire of the spare tire?" Yifei fanned the flames: "Well, it's called the second child for short." "It's unreasonable, she drives a truck!" Zi Qiao's reaction was very similar to Guan Gu's. “我知道这对你来说很打击，神舟八号上天也用不着这么多备胎是吧？”一菲再添把柴。 “好了不用说了。我和美嘉的协议取消，明年情人节，我和你签约了。对了，你还没有备胎是吧？”子乔这回不忘谨慎一点。 一菲如常所愿。“啊……没有，当然没有。” “就这么定了。”子乔说着气鼓鼓地走了。 一菲幻想自己正在打电话：“喂！卡车公司吗？我这有一辆卡车要办理过户啊，对啊，我是签收人，呵呵。” 宛瑜从外回来，按电梯。电梯门开，一束鲜花赫然出现在宛瑜面前，吓了宛瑜一跳。 “你好！我等你很久了！”又是小华。 “怎么又是你？我不是告诉过你吗？我不喜欢英语不好的男孩子。”宛瑜说着就要打发其走人。 小华举出两本证书：“这是我的GRE和托福证书，我都考了满分，我现在正在背法语托福，德语托福和阿拉伯语托福，不信我背个单词给你听，antidisestablishmentarianism，antipericatametaanaparcircumvolutiorectumgustpoops……”（法国作家拉伯雷著的“葛甘塔和潘特古”故事系列之一） 宛瑜头皮发麻：“嗯……不用了不用了……呵呵呵呵，我忘了告诉你，我不喜欢单眼皮小眼睛的男生，I'm sorry.” 小华惊讶：“啊？” “永别了。”宛瑜趁小华不注意按了到顶楼的按钮，小华发现时电梯门已经关上了，自己正向顶楼发射。 宛瑜打了一个冷颤，转身，突然一只手拍在她肩上。 “Hello！” “啊！”宛瑜一看，原来是一个陌生的男人。 男人张口就问：“小姐，请问榕榕小姐，是不是住在这里？” 宛瑜疑惑地问：“嗯，你是？” “我是他朋友，我早上刚见过她。” 宛瑜马上想起：“哦，她提过你，你是保罗？” “不，我不是。她今天早上跟保罗分手了，在我的咖啡馆里。我叫艾伦。” “哦，这样啊。”宛瑜舒了口气，还是奇怪。 “她给了我这个地址，我们约了吃晚饭，我来接她。她住哪间？”男人拿出一张纸条，有点急不可待。 宛瑜的手撑在扶手上，没撑住，滑了一下：“不好意思，我，我不清楚。” “你不清楚？” “……我只是出来打酱油的！”宛瑜说罢一路小跑上楼去了。 美嘉一边看漫画，一边吃棒棒糖，悠然自得。 关谷走进酒吧：“美嘉，有件事我要跟你说。” “什么事？关谷君。”美嘉还在认真地看。 关谷直说来意：“明年情人节我已经有安排了。所以我们的预定只能暂时取消了。” 美嘉有点惊讶，不过还好有备胎：“嗯，这样子啊。好吧！没问题。” 这时子乔也走进酒吧：“美嘉，跟你说一声，明年情人节我已经有安排了。所以我们要取消约定了。” 美嘉这下懵了：“什么？！” 子乔当面揭穿：“别蒙我了，我知道，你还有关谷呢。别假装难过。哈！” 关谷雪上加霜：“我刚告诉她我也要取消和她的约定。” 子乔恶狠狠地说：“谁让你打算脚踏两条船的。活该。” 美嘉哑口无言：“我……” 关谷也气不打一处来：“你怎么能这样对我们？” 美嘉可怜兮兮地说：“我也是迫不得已。你知道现在全球变暖经济低迷，找个伴不容易，我这也是为了大家好，万一情人节孤孤单单的多没面子是不是？” 子乔质问道：“哦，所以你就可以同时订两个。两手抓，两手都要硬是不是？” 关谷也狠狠批评：“你这是典型的自私自利，自强不息。” 子乔傻傻地看着关谷，但是心情舒畅了很多。 美嘉突然想到什么，问：“慢着慢着，你们两个是怎么知道的。是谁戳了我的轮胎？” 子乔打算保护告密者：“这你就甭管了。你多行不义。总有人替天行道。” 美嘉请求道：“你们要不再考虑考虑，你看你们两个都取消了，那你们自己情人节不也都没着落了吗？” 子乔早有准备：“不用担心。我已经有人预定了。” “对，我也是。”关谷附和。 美嘉借机打探：“谁啊？” 两人一起说：“胡一菲。”说完面面相觑。两人再一起：“你也订了胡一菲？” 美嘉这回开心了：“现在我知道，谁戳了我的轮胎了。” 这时，胡一菲从外面走进来，心情一片大好。“大伙都在啊！”突然发现情况不对：“我有事先走了。” 三人同时喊：“胡一菲！” 胡一菲站住。
榕榕收拾行装准备赴约。 小贤依依不舍：“别……别走好啊？再陪我一会儿。” “我也不想走。可是，我都和人约好了。”榕榕假惺惺地难过。 “榕榕，其实我已经知道了。”对于榕榕，小贤心里藏不住事儿。 "what do you know?" “艾伦的事情，宛瑜告诉我的。” 榕榕开心地笑了：“那个开咖啡馆的？贤儿，你误会了。这次不是他。” “谁！”小贤惊呼。 “托尼。” 小贤说不出话来。心里骂自己：“曾小贤啊曾小贤，别再问那是谁了？再没有比这更加愚蠢的问题了。”但嘴上马上问：“托尼是谁？” 榕榕回忆了一下：“噢，另一个开咖啡馆的。” 曾小贤在心里猛抽自己的嘴巴。 小贤叹了一口气：“榕榕，我想问你一句话。你到底是喜欢我的英俊潇洒呢，还是我的聪明才智？” 榕榕迟疑一会，说：“我就喜欢你的这种幽默感！” 小贤被呛得可以：“咳咳，我是说——我难道还不能满足你吗？” “嘿！怎么了？别那么小心眼。”榕榕有点不快。 “我不是小心眼。好吧，我承认我心眼不大。但是，这实在是……有些超出常人的接受能力。”小贤带着沮丧的神情。 “事实证明，你已经比很多男人都强了。”榕榕鼓励道。 小贤的确受到鼓舞，大胆提议：“谢谢。我也这么认为——但是，你知道，包括我在内，还有麦克、威廉、保罗、艾伦、托尼，还有Johnnylulu，我们应该都是魅力十足的男人，我们也曾经迷倒过万千少女。你为什么不能从中选一个。” 榕榕终于不能忍受了，心中默念：“麦克、威廉、保罗、艾伦、托尼，Johnnylulu，他们倒是真的挺帅气迷人的，曾小贤么……呵呵，come on~~” “Oh！你不要难为我了。”榕榕矫情地告饶。 “这很难吗？”小贤不愿放弃。 “你们男人真'作'。”榕榕不屑地说。 小贤难以置信：“你管这个叫'作'？” “你到底要什么？”榕榕不耐烦地说。 "you!" “可我已经和你在一起了。”榕榕柔情万种地扒在小贤的扶手边。 “我是说全部的你。” 榕榕试着说服他：“可是，我们现在的关系很好啊。你不用对我负责，这不是你们每个男人的梦想吗？” “我不这么觉得。”小贤这次不容易忽悠了。 “你长大了就会明白的！”榕榕安抚地摸摸他的脸。 小贤在痛苦中挣扎：“好吧，我曾经也以为这是我的梦想，可是另外一个自己对我说，我办不到！” “你是说——你人格分裂了？”榕榕惊叹。 “人都是有双重性格的，”小贤从沙发上站起身，边走边感慨，“一个说：喂！傻瓜！这很好啊，你长得这么帅，又那么潇洒，有魅力，人生苦短，及时行乐，今朝有酒今朝醉。但是另一个说：曾小贤，你是世界上最优秀的男人，事业成功，成熟稳重，你应该去找一份真正稳定的感情。离这种莫名其妙的关系远一点！” 榕榕天真般地眨眼睛：“那你会听哪一个呢？” 小贤沉默良久，说道：“第二个。” 榕榕坐到一边，两人同时陷入沉默…… 关谷和子乔搬来写字台，并排坐下，另一边是美嘉和一菲。子乔把台灯反过来刺美嘉和一菲的眼睛，就像香港电影里警察审问犯人的场景。 “关谷，现在事情很清楚了。这个是坏人，这个也是坏人。”子乔指了指两个女人。 关谷问：“嗯，哪个更坏？” 美嘉首先开炮：“她！她戳我轮胎。” 一菲还击：“是你先人心不足蛇吞象，我这是路见不平。” “所以你就照单全收啊？”美嘉反问。 子乔止住吵闹：“好了！你们两个黑吃黑。都不是好人。” 关谷帮着说：“对，有你们这么喂鱼抽猫的吗？” “什么鱼，什么猫？”美嘉纳闷儿。 一菲未免自己成为被指责的对象，引着众人解决问题：“听着，我们这么做都只是为了防患于未然，都是为了避免情人节落单，对不对？那好，这样吧。美嘉，我们全部摊开来讨论。你选子乔，我选关谷。公平公正公开，不就结了吗？” 美嘉抗议：“为什么？子乔是个穷鬼。连玫瑰花都买不起。”关谷在一旁发笑，子乔难堪。 一菲也不挑食：“那好，我选子乔，你选关谷。” 美嘉又抗议：“可是关谷老呆在家里不出去。”轮到子乔发笑了。 一菲只好建议：“那我们抓阄，抓到谁就是谁！” 美嘉同意：“成交。” 子乔抗议了：“嗨嗨嗨！你们当我们是什么？透明的吗？” 关谷跟着主流民意走：“我们是白菜吗？可以挑来挑去。” “当然不是——你们是萝卜。”一菲对这群挑剔的人感到厌烦。 子乔要求：“我们是公民！有人权的。凭什么我们只有被选举权？” 关谷补充：“我们还也有选举权。男女平等。” 美嘉勉强同意：“好吧好吧好吧。四个人一起抓阄。” 关谷提出规则：“我们各自把选择的对象写在纸头上，然后一起公开，到时候谁都不会有意见了。” 四人拿纸写字。 经过良久的沉默。 小贤郑重其事地说：“榕榕，所以，对不起，经过慎重的考虑，我有件事想跟你说。” 榕榕站起身，两人面对面的站着。榕榕似乎知道小贤将要说什么，用食指挡住了他的嘴：“嘘！”含情脉脉地盯着他的眼睛：“那么多年来，我见过无数的男人。你虽然不是其中最高大，最幽默的，也不是最英俊，最强壮的，更不是最有钱，最成功，最成熟，最聪明，最可爱，最温柔，最浪漫，最神秘，最忧郁，最勇敢……” 曾小贤的心情像掉进了冰窟窿，他在心中幻想着这样一副画面：自己暴躁地说：“嗯……能不能跳过这一段！”说着拿出遥控器按了一下，榕榕说话快进。小贤便脑袋空空地等待着结束语。 “……最性感的。但是，你是唯一一个提出要占有我的男人。”榕榕很认真的总结完。 小贤苦着脸说：“这话听着怎么这么别扭啊！” 榕榕试着站在对方的角度考虑：“我知道你非常希望想给我一种安全感。你的确和其他男人都不一样。” 小贤想解释：“其实我的意思是……” 榕榕闪电般提出：“我们结婚吧。” “什么？”小贤面临史上最难承受的幸福。 临时审讯室里，一菲发好司令：“准备好了吗？一二三。”四人的手放在一起，同时打开。 美嘉说：“我选关谷。” 关谷说：“我选一菲。” 一菲说：“我选子乔。” 子乔说：“我选美嘉。” 四人盯着纸条，都傻了眼：“……这算什么？！” “循环不等式？”关谷试着解释。 美嘉泄了气：“完了。这事没完没了了。” 关谷提议：“重新投一轮？” 一菲立即否定：“没用，四个人选这种概率很大。” 美嘉突发奇想：“对了，那我们为什么非要在四个人当中选。” 关谷顺着打开思路：“有道理，这公寓又不是只有我们四个人？” “还有宛瑜。”子乔的坏主意已经打起来。 “展博。”美嘉也有了新目标。 一菲的品味差一点：“门卫张大爷。”大家盯着她看。 美嘉劲头来了：“这次改规矩了。不抽签了。先到先得。” 关谷也准备好：“跑得快的有肉吃，跑得慢的没肉吃。” 大家达成一致：“好！子乔呢？” 只见子乔已经溜到了门口，四人一起冲向隔壁。 榕榕从包里拿出一个钻石戒指，说：“把手给我。” 小贤还在沉思。 榕榕干脆自己拿起曾小贤的手：“嫁给我！” 小贤犹豫不决：“榕榕，我！” 榕榕把戒指给曾小贤戴上，单膝跪地。 就在这时，砰的一声，门被撞开。隔壁的四人争先恐后地冲了进来，在门口卡住，大家抬头，看到了这一幕，惊呆了。 众人依旧在酒吧沙发边围坐着。 宛瑜、展博紧张地问：“求婚？” 宛瑜迫不及待：“你答应她了？” 小贤解释说：“还没有。他们四个冲进来打断了我们。” 子乔瞎起哄：“So！你是准备谢谢我们还是杀了我们。当时情景别提有多震撼了！很黄很暴力！” 小贤托着腮，抱住头，再沉下去：“不要再说风凉话了好不好，让我冷静一下。我脑子已经全乱了。天啊！” 可怜的曾小贤，脑子里已经成了一锅粥，他本想继续思考要不要答应榕榕，开始幻想，但是幻想很快变为噩梦。 曾小贤的脑海里是这样一幅疯狂的画面： 在爱情公寓的套房里，曾小贤坐在沙发上抱着一个婴儿在喂奶，同时又有一个1岁大的小孩坐在旁边哭，而且哭得声音很大声。一群各种肤色，不同大小的孩子在追逐打闹。 小贤哄着怀里的孩子：“乖乖，喝奶啊！喝呀，你怎么不喝呀！” 沙发上的小孩也开始大哭。 小贤狼狈地喊道：“莎拉波娃你怎么又哭啦？好啦，我也不知道你妈妈在哪儿？阿尔巴尼亚，还是阿尔及利亚，天晓得。和你亲爸爸在一起。” 突然听见花瓶砸碎的声音。 小贤无可奈何地说：“罗纳尔多，给我下来！我说了多少次了，别把齐丹当马骑！还有你阿里巴巴，带滨崎步到外面去玩，冰箱里是捉迷藏的地方吗？我要打你屁股了贝克汉姆，怎么可以在阳台上朝楼下小便呢！还有你！” 一个黑人小孩含着手指跑过来。 小贤哭丧着脸说：“你是不是又把我的安眠药当糖吃了？乔丹！” 接着，孩子们围过来，用枕头砸他，用玩具砸他，用奶嘴砸他…… 小贤伸出手一看，无名指上戴着一个亮闪闪的戒指。 “啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！”小贤鬼哭狼嚎。 小贤从噩梦中惊醒：“啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！我想清楚了，我不能跟榕榕结婚，我家里会变成联合国的。” 展博握紧拳头，挥了挥：“不管你做什么决定，我们都支持你。” 小贤歇斯底里地叫喊：“我要分手，我要分手，我要分手。”边说边跳，小贤说着说着声音越来越轻，越来越轻，开始哽咽。 宛瑜怜惜地问道：“曾老师，你怎么了。” 小贤带着哭腔说：“你们想想这场景，你坐在她身边，而她一无所知依旧和你说笑。然后你开口，她奔溃，然后大哭，然后两个人一起哭得死去活来的。最后你还是要义正词严地告诉他：'我们不可能了，你还是去买根黄瓜吧！'哦，太残忍了！” 子乔不屑地说：“这是分手的常规程序。但是绝对不可能发生在你的身上。” “为什么？”小贤抬起头。 “因为她是榕榕啊，你看到过铁锁连舟的人晕船吗？”子乔觉得小贤明知故问。 小贤还是没听懂。 子乔只好耐着性子解释：“所以我觉得情况应该是这样的，你跟她开口，然后她静静地看着你，你崩溃，然后大哭，然后她把你揽在怀里义正词严地告诉你：'好了别哭了，洗洗睡吧，明天还要上班呢，'”“啪！”学榕榕拍手，“别没事吃饱了撑的胡说八道了！” “啪！”展博、宛瑜也学榕榕拍手。 "agree!" 小贤没了支持，决定逃避：“我看算了，我还是从长计议吧。” 子乔真为小贤着急：“这事情不能拖，曾老师。否则会后患无穷的。放心你伤不了榕榕。” 展博也在鼓动：“当断则断，要是被霸王硬上弓就来不及了。” “这话用在我身上怎么怪怪的……你是说今天就……？”小贤忽然意识到自己已经站在风口浪尖上。 宛瑜不给他迟疑的机会：“对！就今天，在这儿。我们可以帮你把风。” 子乔添油加醋地说：“你动手杀了她，我们帮你毁尸灭迹，清理现场！” 小贤一幅脓包相：“哈，到时候你们收拾的一定是我的尸体。我到底应该怎么跟她
Guan Gu was painting in the studio, Yifei knocked on the door and Guan Gu opened it. "Yifei, hello!" "Guan Gu, are you working? Excuse me?" Yifei said pretentiously. "No. Do not disturb, please come in. I am reciting Chinese idioms." It turned out that what Guan Gu was holding was not a paintbrush, but a small dictionary. "Why don't I test you on an idiom—plan ahead, do you know what it means?" There was a hint in Yifei's words. Of course Guan Gu couldn't tell: "Feed the fish and smoke the cat? Oh, the Chinese must like fish, but not cats. Fish are very good, you should feed them! Cats are not good, you should smoke them!" Yifei had no choice but to give further advice: "Prepare for a rainy day!—meaning to prepare for things that haven't happened yet." "Oh! Live and learn. Cats are cheap, so you can't smoke them. It's too peaceful to smoke them to prevent them from stealing fish. Hehe." Guan Gu is proud of his ability to understand. Hu Yifei's expression was twitching. "Well, you didn't come to me to teach me idioms, did you?" Guan Gu is not completely ignorant sometimes. "No! Of course not." Yifei was a little excited. "I don't think you're that boring." "What?" Yifei was a little sullen. "Just tell me if you have anything to say." Yifei said embarrassedly: "Actually, I want to ask you, this...you don't have a girlfriend yet, right?" "No." "Great!" Yifei clapped her hands and shouted. Guan Gu looked at her questioningly: "Although I don't know what it means to feed fish and smoke cats, I know what it means to gloat." Yifei stopped smiling, wanted to explain but was embarrassed: "You misunderstood, it is like this, how about we make an agreement? If, I said if, if you and I come to next year's Valentine's Day, there is no arrangement yet. .I mean, we are similar in appearance, education and taste, and we will be very suitable in the eyes of others. So, when the time comes, we can all have a companion—what do you think..." Finally finished speaking, But doubt whether the other party can understand. On this matter, Guan Gu was unexpectedly clever: "Oh! I see, what you call taking precautions before they happen, in case of emergencies?" "Wow! You can speak idioms again in a while." Yifei was delighted. "Hehe, Mijia taught me." Guan Gu said modestly. Yifei was puzzled: "Why did she teach you this?" Guan Gu confessed honestly: "She said almost exactly the same thing as you. She has booked me for Valentine's Day next year." Yifei was shocked on the spot: "Meijia? But I just asked Ziqiao, did Meijia order Ziqiao?" Guan Gu was even more shocked: "What?" "Yes." Yifei confirmed. Guan Gu asked in disbelief: "Meijia also ordered Ziqiao!" The two scolded together angrily: "It's unreasonable." "I thought she only booked me." Guan Gu was obviously upset. Yifei, as a Chinese, of course cannot lose the quintessence of the country to the Japanese: "There is a Chinese idiom called——" Guan Gu snatched it up surprisingly quickly: "Two-faced and three-knife, eating inside and out, yelling and yawning, saying things differently, saying and doing things differently, slashing at both sides!" "Hmm...the last idiom is incorrect." Guan Gu's anger still persists: "It's too much. Yifei, I've changed my mind. The agreement between me and Meijia is cancelled. The stinky cat on Valentine's Day, we two are settled!" What Yifei wants is this effect: "It's a deal!" Guan Gu said viciously: "Meijia, you are the first grader, and Xiu blames me for the second grader!" "Correct it: it's—fifteen!" Yifei turned around in surprise at the door. Guan Gu was taken aback, and flipped through the book: "Oh, after the Spring Festival, the Mid-Autumn Festival will be here?" The clock pointed to 7:05, and Zhan Bo came down from upstairs, yawning.Zeng Xiaoxian was busy making breakfast. "Morning!" Xiaoxian greeted. Zhanbo said sleepily, "Mr. Zeng is making breakfast, he must be dreaming, I'll go back to sleep." Just as Zhan Bo turned around, he bumped into Wan Yu who was also wearing pajamas and came down: "I smell Italian bacon and snow peas stewed with French fries. McDonald's has a new product for breakfast?" Xiaoxian greeted cheerfully: "Come and have breakfast. I did all of this." Yifei came out of the room: "Did you get transferred by Lisa Chen to do the gourmet program because of the poor ratings of the show?" Xiaoxian frowned coldly: "Hmph, don't underestimate me, people will change." Zhanbo and Wanyu sat down around the dining table. At this moment, Ziqiao crawled in through the window, still in her pajamas. Wan Yu asked in surprise, "Zi Qiao, why don't you come in?" Zi Qiao stretched her head and sniffed with her nose: "I smell the fragrance coming from the window." Zhan Bo said: "It's a good thing we don't sell pancakes downstairs, otherwise he would definitely jump down." Ziqiao sat down rudely: "Where is the thing! Give me food! Wahahaha!" Xiaoxian brought out a large bowl of breakfast for everyone, which was full of fried dough sticks. Wan Yu said depressedly: "Why do you still eat fried dough sticks and boiled rice? I can clearly smell the smell of Italian bacon." Zi Qiao also echoed: "That's right! I also brought equipment specially." As he spoke, he took out a knife and fork from the pocket of his nightgown, sharp. "Oh, this is the standard configuration for breakfast. I was afraid that she would not be used to Chinese food, so I made an extra serving of Western food." Xiaoxian said, bringing out a very, very awesome breakfast, which is full of portions, enough for 4 people. It passed by in front of everyone's eyes, leaving only the fragrance. Everyone was surprised: "Her?!" At this time, Rongrong came out of Xiaoxian's bedroom, and walked quickly while putting on makeup. "Xian'er, have you seen my earrings? I'm running out of time, why didn't you call me. Oh, good morning everyone." Only then did they find out. Everyone stared wide-eyed, imitating Rong Rong's accent: "Good morning~~" and waved their hands mechanically. Xiaoxian approached Rongrong: "You tell me the meeting at 8 o'clock, I want you to sleep a little longer." Rongrong said anxiously: "It's true that the meeting is at 8 o'clock, but I have an appointment with Paul at 7:30, so I can't be late!" "Paul?!" Another question mark was drawn in Xiaoxian's head. Yifei sarcastically said with a well-known metaphor besides Rongrong: "Oh! Waiter, I want to ask, do you offer fried green turtles for breakfast?" "Really? There are seafood! Can I use a knife and fork?" Zi Qiao rubbed the knife and fork against each other. Zeng Xiaoxian glared at the two of them angrily. Zi Qiao couldn't care so much anymore, picked up the knife and fork and started cutting the fried dough sticks. Rongrong continued to look for earrings everywhere. Xiaoxian hesitated and said, "Rongrong, who is this Paul...?" Rongrong walked up to Xiaoxian with a smile, and took his hand: "Are you jealous?" Xiaoxian pretended to be calm: "No—no! How is it possible. I just asked casually." Rongrong explained: "Paul is my college classmate. He has been unmarried until now because of me. When he knew I was back, he called and said he wanted to see me, and he cried so hard that if he couldn't see me, he would have a cut off." vein." The sound of cutting plates came from behind, and Xiaoxian looked back, Ziqiao was desperately cutting fried dough sticks with a knife. "Are you going to save him?" Xiaoxian said with hostility. Rongrong smiled and said, "Don't worry. He stutters. Besides, I don't have any feelings for him. I just don't want him to do stupid things for me again." "Oh, hehe, okay." Xiaoxian reluctantly accepted. Zhanbo suddenly realized: "Mr. Zeng, what is on your ear?" Rongrong clapped her hands: "Here are the earrings!" Zeng Xiaoxian wore Rongrong's earrings on his ears. Everyone booed: "u~" Teacher Zeng was also surprised. Rongrong smiled and said, "I forgot. I put it on for you when you fell asleep last night. I wanted to tease you." "You're really interesting." Xiaoxian said awkwardly. "I even painted your toenails." Zeng Xiaoxian's eyes widened. Everyone again: "u~" "Just kidding. But your big toe is the cutest I've ever seen!" Rongrong said, flirting with Xiaoxian in front of everyone. Xiaoxian is concerned about the face issue: "Have you painted it?" "I won't tell you, just take off your socks and see." Rongrong put the earrings on for herself and left. Xiaoxian held the dinner plate and chased after him: "Ah! I prepared breakfast for you! It's all European style. You can eat some!" Rongrong leaned against the door, making a charming gesture: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I gave up breakfast three years ago. However, when I woke up in the morning, I could see your cute jealous look, and I hiccupped You'll be full in one go! Hehe." While scratching Xiaoxian's nose lightly with his fingers, "Bye." Everyone said mechanically: "Goodbye." Rongrong closed the door. Zeng Xiaoxian turned around with a look of loss. Wan Yu comforted: "Teacher Zeng, don't be sad. She has already taken your wish." Zhanbo exaggerated: "Don't say it's her. All of us have felt it. Now the whole room is full of warm affection." Zi Qiao said while eating, "Mr. Zeng, why are these fried dough sticks cold? Could it be from yesterday?" Xiaoxian sat down on the sofa swaggeringly, and said impatiently: "Nonsense, I got up at four o'clock to buy fried dough sticks. Of course it's cold." "My god, it's so early!" Wan Yu exclaimed. "Hey! It doesn't mean anything, I just make breakfast for a friend I haven't seen for a long time—that's all!" Xiaoxian pretended to be relaxed. Yifei caught it again: "Then why did you have such a sour reaction when you heard that Paul?" "You guys look at me with tinted glasses. Go ahead and use your imagination. Rongrong and I are currently in the best state of being irresponsible to each other. So I'm fine. I don't have any mood swings, let alone jealousy!" Xiaoxian Fake generosity, but no one believed it. Wan Yu picked up the glass and took a sip: "Ah! What is this? So sour?!" It turned out to be a glass of green juice. Yifei continued to mock: "Zeng Xiaoxian's special drink, the designated drink for heartbroken people and cuckolds." Xiaoxian walked up to the crowd: "This is soybean juice! I bought it downstairs! If you don't drink it, you'll pass it off." Yifei is not yet addicted: "It took our great teacher Zeng two full years to finally get out of the shadow of the green hat and forget about Rongrong. Now it's time to celebrate. The way to celebrate is-" She shook her hand, "Bring her home to spend the night!" Xiaoxian's face was dull, and his mouth was stiff: "What do you know? She has no place to live here, so I will take her in for a while. And she sleeps on the bed, and I sleep on the floor. I'm not a random person." "You are not a human being casually." Yifei was not polite at all. "In order to avoid suspicion, I went to bed wearing tight clothes last night." Xiaoxian showed off his coat. "Of course, when will you let us see your incomparably huge big toe?" Yifei Shou Xiaoxian's ability is getting more and more advanced, and every sentence is stabbed at the fatal point. Zhan Bo and Wan Yu snickered, Zeng Xiaoxian glared at them, and they immediately continued to eat fried dough sticks with gloomy faces. Xiaoxian was eager to fight back: "Hu Yifei, you are jealous that I have a charming, sexy and unrestrained lover, right?" Yifei retorted: "Did you eat too much fake milk powder? Am I jealous of you?" Xiaoxian argues: "Rongrong has changed for me, and she has already begun to flatly reject other suitors. This stuttering Paul is an example." "Yeah, your charm is simply destructive. It was only the second day of reunion, and you eliminated a rival in love. Wait a minute, let me count," Yifei pretended to snap his fingers, "how many competitors do you have—oh , there is another company!" Zeng Xiaoxian was annoyed: "You..." Wan Yu hurriedly stepped forward to stop the situation from getting worse: "Mr. Zeng, we understand you." "Thank you." Xiaoxian felt that it was too difficult for him. Wan Yu quietly revealed her real purpose: "Please also understand that pot of Italian bacon meat, it won't taste good when it's cold." "Let's help you solve it." Zhanbo also took out a knife and fork. Xiaoxian waved his hand, "Let it go, Wanyu and Zhanbo walked towards the food immediately.Xiaoxian went to the bedroom alone, peeping in the corner to see if his toes were painted with nail polish. Zi Qiao was already full, with a full stomach, and suddenly saw Zhan Bo put a large bowl of hearty breakfast in front of him, and said dejectedly: "Didn't you say that I have a share, I am full of cold fried dough sticks! " "Then stop eating. Come here." Yifei dragged him into the storage room. Zi Qiao put her hands in her pajama pockets, looking impatient: "What's the matter?" "There's something I've always wanted to say, but I don't know if I should say it." Yifei asked tentatively. "Are you making a costume film? This is not your line. It's too fake." Zi Qiao knew something must be wrong. "...Well, it's about next year's Valentine's Day..." Yifei brought up the old story again. Zi Qiao interrupted: "I know, I know I'm in demand, but I've really been booked, but I can book you for my Ching Ming Festival." Yifei said disdainfully: "Don't be too stinky. Let me tell you, next year's Valentine's Day, Meijia not only booked you, but also booked Guan Gu." "What?" Zi Qiao was shocked by this blockbuster. "Well, she may need to save a spare tire." Yifei analyzed. Zi Qiao thought about it: "...the purpose of booking this thing is to find a spare tire, but now he has found Guan Gu, so am I the spare tire of the spare tire?" Yifei fanned the flames: "Well, it's called the second child for short." "It's unreasonable, she drives a truck!" Zi Qiao's reaction was very similar to Guan Gu's. “我知道这对你来说很打击，神舟八号上天也用不着这么多备胎是吧？”一菲再添把柴。 “好了不用说了。我和美嘉的协议取消，明年情人节，我和你签约了。对了，你还没有备胎是吧？”子乔这回不忘谨慎一点。 一菲如常所愿。“啊……没有，当然没有。” “就这么定了。”子乔说着气鼓鼓地走了。 一菲幻想自己正在打电话：“喂！卡车公司吗？我这有一辆卡车要办理过户啊，对啊，我是签收人，呵呵。” 宛瑜从外回来，按电梯。电梯门开，一束鲜花赫然出现在宛瑜面前，吓了宛瑜一跳。 “你好！我等你很久了！”又是小华。 “怎么又是你？我不是告诉过你吗？我不喜欢英语不好的男孩子。”宛瑜说着就要打发其走人。 小华举出两本证书：“这是我的GRE和托福证书，我都考了满分，我现在正在背法语托福，德语托福和阿拉伯语托福，不信我背个单词给你听，antidisestablishmentarianism，antipericatametaanaparcircumvolutiorectumgustpoops……”（法国作家拉伯雷著的“葛甘塔和潘特古”故事系列之一） 宛瑜头皮发麻：“嗯……不用了不用了……呵呵呵呵，我忘了告诉你，我不喜欢单眼皮小眼睛的男生，I'm sorry.” 小华惊讶：“啊？” “永别了。”宛瑜趁小华不注意按了到顶楼的按钮，小华发现时电梯门已经关上了，自己正向顶楼发射。 宛瑜打了一个冷颤，转身，突然一只手拍在她肩上。 “Hello！” “啊！”宛瑜一看，原来是一个陌生的男人。 男人张口就问：“小姐，请问榕榕小姐，是不是住在这里？” 宛瑜疑惑地问：“嗯，你是？” “我是他朋友，我早上刚见过她。” 宛瑜马上想起：“哦，她提过你，你是保罗？” “不，我不是。她今天早上跟保罗分手了，在我的咖啡馆里。我叫艾伦。” “哦，这样啊。”宛瑜舒了口气，还是奇怪。 “她给了我这个地址，我们约了吃晚饭，我来接她。她住哪间？”男人拿出一张纸条，有点急不可待。 宛瑜的手撑在扶手上，没撑住，滑了一下：“不好意思，我，我不清楚。” “你不清楚？” “……我只是出来打酱油的！”宛瑜说罢一路小跑上楼去了。 美嘉一边看漫画，一边吃棒棒糖，悠然自得。 关谷走进酒吧：“美嘉，有件事我要跟你说。” “什么事？关谷君。”美嘉还在认真地看。 关谷直说来意：“明年情人节我已经有安排了。所以我们的预定只能暂时取消了。” 美嘉有点惊讶，不过还好有备胎：“嗯，这样子啊。好吧！没问题。” 这时子乔也走进酒吧：“美嘉，跟你说一声，明年情人节我已经有安排了。所以我们要取消约定了。” 美嘉这下懵了：“什么？！” 子乔当面揭穿：“别蒙我了，我知道，你还有关谷呢。别假装难过。哈！” 关谷雪上加霜：“我刚告诉她我也要取消和她的约定。” 子乔恶狠狠地说：“谁让你打算脚踏两条船的。活该。” 美嘉哑口无言：“我……” 关谷也气不打一处来：“你怎么能这样对我们？” 美嘉可怜兮兮地说：“我也是迫不得已。你知道现在全球变暖经济低迷，找个伴不容易，我这也是为了大家好，万一情人节孤孤单单的多没面子是不是？” 子乔质问道：“哦，所以你就可以同时订两个。两手抓，两手都要硬是不是？” 关谷也狠狠批评：“你这是典型的自私自利，自强不息。” 子乔傻傻地看着关谷，但是心情舒畅了很多。 美嘉突然想到什么，问：“慢着慢着，你们两个是怎么知道的。是谁戳了我的轮胎？” 子乔打算保护告密者：“这你就甭管了。你多行不义。总有人替天行道。” 美嘉请求道：“你们要不再考虑考虑，你看你们两个都取消了，那你们自己情人节不也都没着落了吗？” 子乔早有准备：“不用担心。我已经有人预定了。” “对，我也是。”关谷附和。 美嘉借机打探：“谁啊？” 两人一起说：“胡一菲。”说完面面相觑。两人再一起：“你也订了胡一菲？” 美嘉这回开心了：“现在我知道，谁戳了我的轮胎了。” 这时，胡一菲从外面走进来，心情一片大好。“大伙都在啊！”突然发现情况不对：“我有事先走了。” 三人同时喊：“胡一菲！” 胡一菲站住。
榕榕收拾行装准备赴约。 小贤依依不舍：“别……别走好啊？再陪我一会儿。” “我也不想走。可是，我都和人约好了。”榕榕假惺惺地难过。 “榕榕，其实我已经知道了。”对于榕榕，小贤心里藏不住事儿。 "what do you know?" “艾伦的事情，宛瑜告诉我的。” 榕榕开心地笑了：“那个开咖啡馆的？贤儿，你误会了。这次不是他。” “谁！”小贤惊呼。 “托尼。” 小贤说不出话来。心里骂自己：“曾小贤啊曾小贤，别再问那是谁了？再没有比这更加愚蠢的问题了。”但嘴上马上问：“托尼是谁？” 榕榕回忆了一下：“噢，另一个开咖啡馆的。” 曾小贤在心里猛抽自己的嘴巴。 小贤叹了一口气：“榕榕，我想问你一句话。你到底是喜欢我的英俊潇洒呢，还是我的聪明才智？” 榕榕迟疑一会，说：“我就喜欢你的这种幽默感！” 小贤被呛得可以：“咳咳，我是说——我难道还不能满足你吗？” “嘿！怎么了？别那么小心眼。”榕榕有点不快。 “我不是小心眼。好吧，我承认我心眼不大。但是，这实在是……有些超出常人的接受能力。”小贤带着沮丧的神情。 “事实证明，你已经比很多男人都强了。”榕榕鼓励道。 小贤的确受到鼓舞，大胆提议：“谢谢。我也这么认为——但是，你知道，包括我在内，还有麦克、威廉、保罗、艾伦、托尼，还有Johnnylulu，我们应该都是魅力十足的男人，我们也曾经迷倒过万千少女。你为什么不能从中选一个。” 榕榕终于不能忍受了，心中默念：“麦克、威廉、保罗、艾伦、托尼，Johnnylulu，他们倒是真的挺帅气迷人的，曾小贤么……呵呵，come on~~” “Oh！你不要难为我了。”榕榕矫情地告饶。 “这很难吗？”小贤不愿放弃。 “你们男人真'作'。”榕榕不屑地说。 小贤难以置信：“你管这个叫'作'？” “你到底要什么？”榕榕不耐烦地说。 "you!" “可我已经和你在一起了。”榕榕柔情万种地扒在小贤的扶手边。 “我是说全部的你。” 榕榕试着说服他：“可是，我们现在的关系很好啊。你不用对我负责，这不是你们每个男人的梦想吗？” “我不这么觉得。”小贤这次不容易忽悠了。 “你长大了就会明白的！”榕榕安抚地摸摸他的脸。 小贤在痛苦中挣扎：“好吧，我曾经也以为这是我的梦想，可是另外一个自己对我说，我办不到！” “你是说——你人格分裂了？”榕榕惊叹。 “人都是有双重性格的，”小贤从沙发上站起身，边走边感慨，“一个说：喂！傻瓜！这很好啊，你长得这么帅，又那么潇洒，有魅力，人生苦短，及时行乐，今朝有酒今朝醉。但是另一个说：曾小贤，你是世界上最优秀的男人，事业成功，成熟稳重，你应该去找一份真正稳定的感情。离这种莫名其妙的关系远一点！” 榕榕天真般地眨眼睛：“那你会听哪一个呢？” 小贤沉默良久，说道：“第二个。” 榕榕坐到一边，两人同时陷入沉默…… 关谷和子乔搬来写字台，并排坐下，另一边是美嘉和一菲。子乔把台灯反过来刺美嘉和一菲的眼睛，就像香港电影里警察审问犯人的场景。 “关谷，现在事情很清楚了。这个是坏人，这个也是坏人。”子乔指了指两个女人。 关谷问：“嗯，哪个更坏？” 美嘉首先开炮：“她！她戳我轮胎。” 一菲还击：“是你先人心不足蛇吞象，我这是路见不平。” “所以你就照单全收啊？”美嘉反问。 子乔止住吵闹：“好了！你们两个黑吃黑。都不是好人。” 关谷帮着说：“对，有你们这么喂鱼抽猫的吗？” “什么鱼，什么猫？”美嘉纳闷儿。 一菲未免自己成为被指责的对象，引着众人解决问题：“听着，我们这么做都只是为了防患于未然，都是为了避免情人节落单，对不对？那好，这样吧。美嘉，我们全部摊开来讨论。你选子乔，我选关谷。公平公正公开，不就结了吗？” 美嘉抗议：“为什么？子乔是个穷鬼。连玫瑰花都买不起。”关谷在一旁发笑，子乔难堪。 一菲也不挑食：“那好，我选子乔，你选关谷。” 美嘉又抗议：“可是关谷老呆在家里不出去。”轮到子乔发笑了。 一菲只好建议：“那我们抓阄，抓到谁就是谁！” 美嘉同意：“成交。” 子乔抗议了：“嗨嗨嗨！你们当我们是什么？透明的吗？” 关谷跟着主流民意走：“我们是白菜吗？可以挑来挑去。” “当然不是——你们是萝卜。”一菲对这群挑剔的人感到厌烦。 子乔要求：“我们是公民！有人权的。凭什么我们只有被选举权？” 关谷补充：“我们还也有选举权。男女平等。” 美嘉勉强同意：“好吧好吧好吧。四个人一起抓阄。” 关谷提出规则：“我们各自把选择的对象写在纸头上，然后一起公开，到时候谁都不会有意见了。” 四人拿纸写字。 经过良久的沉默。 小贤郑重其事地说：“榕榕，所以，对不起，经过慎重的考虑，我有件事想跟你说。” 榕榕站起身，两人面对面的站着。榕榕似乎知道小贤将要说什么，用食指挡住了他的嘴：“嘘！”含情脉脉地盯着他的眼睛：“那么多年来，我见过无数的男人。你虽然不是其中最高大，最幽默的，也不是最英俊，最强壮的，更不是最有钱，最成功，最成熟，最聪明，最可爱，最温柔，最浪漫，最神秘，最忧郁，最勇敢……” 曾小贤的心情像掉进了冰窟窿，他在心中幻想着这样一副画面：自己暴躁地说：“嗯……能不能跳过这一段！”说着拿出遥控器按了一下，榕榕说话快进。小贤便脑袋空空地等待着结束语。 “……最性感的。但是，你是唯一一个提出要占有我的男人。”榕榕很认真的总结完。 小贤苦着脸说：“这话听着怎么这么别扭啊！” 榕榕试着站在对方的角度考虑：“我知道你非常希望想给我一种安全感。你的确和其他男人都不一样。” 小贤想解释：“其实我的意思是……” 榕榕闪电般提出：“我们结婚吧。” “什么？”小贤面临史上最难承受的幸福。 临时审讯室里，一菲发好司令：“准备好了吗？一二三。”四人的手放在一起，同时打开。 美嘉说：“我选关谷。” 关谷说：“我选一菲。” 一菲说：“我选子乔。” 子乔说：“我选美嘉。” 四人盯着纸条，都傻了眼：“……这算什么？！” “循环不等式？”关谷试着解释。 美嘉泄了气：“完了。这事没完没了了。” 关谷提议：“重新投一轮？” 一菲立即否定：“没用，四个人选这种概率很大。” 美嘉突发奇想：“对了，那我们为什么非要在四个人当中选。” 关谷顺着打开思路：“有道理，这公寓又不是只有我们四个人？” “还有宛瑜。”子乔的坏主意已经打起来。 “展博。”美嘉也有了新目标。 一菲的品味差一点：“门卫张大爷。”大家盯着她看。 美嘉劲头来了：“这次改规矩了。不抽签了。先到先得。” 关谷也准备好：“跑得快的有肉吃，跑得慢的没肉吃。” 大家达成一致：“好！子乔呢？” 只见子乔已经溜到了门口，四人一起冲向隔壁。 榕榕从包里拿出一个钻石戒指，说：“把手给我。” 小贤还在沉思。 榕榕干脆自己拿起曾小贤的手：“嫁给我！” 小贤犹豫不决：“榕榕，我！” 榕榕把戒指给曾小贤戴上，单膝跪地。 就在这时，砰的一声，门被撞开。隔壁的四人争先恐后地冲了进来，在门口卡住，大家抬头，看到了这一幕，惊呆了。 众人依旧在酒吧沙发边围坐着。 宛瑜、展博紧张地问：“求婚？” 宛瑜迫不及待：“你答应她了？” 小贤解释说：“还没有。他们四个冲进来打断了我们。” 子乔瞎起哄：“So！你是准备谢谢我们还是杀了我们。当时情景别提有多震撼了！很黄很暴力！” 小贤托着腮，抱住头，再沉下去：“不要再说风凉话了好不好，让我冷静一下。我脑子已经全乱了。天啊！” 可怜的曾小贤，脑子里已经成了一锅粥，他本想继续思考要不要答应榕榕，开始幻想，但是幻想很快变为噩梦。 曾小贤的脑海里是这样一幅疯狂的画面： 在爱情公寓的套房里，曾小贤坐在沙发上抱着一个婴儿在喂奶，同时又有一个1岁大的小孩坐在旁边哭，而且哭得声音很大声。一群各种肤色，不同大小的孩子在追逐打闹。 小贤哄着怀里的孩子：“乖乖，喝奶啊！喝呀，你怎么不喝呀！” 沙发上的小孩也开始大哭。 小贤狼狈地喊道：“莎拉波娃你怎么又哭啦？好啦，我也不知道你妈妈在哪儿？阿尔巴尼亚，还是阿尔及利亚，天晓得。和你亲爸爸在一起。” 突然听见花瓶砸碎的声音。 小贤无可奈何地说：“罗纳尔多，给我下来！我说了多少次了，别把齐丹当马骑！还有你阿里巴巴，带滨崎步到外面去玩，冰箱里是捉迷藏的地方吗？我要打你屁股了贝克汉姆，怎么可以在阳台上朝楼下小便呢！还有你！” 一个黑人小孩含着手指跑过来。 小贤哭丧着脸说：“你是不是又把我的安眠药当糖吃了？乔丹！” 接着，孩子们围过来，用枕头砸他，用玩具砸他，用奶嘴砸他…… 小贤伸出手一看，无名指上戴着一个亮闪闪的戒指。 “啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！”小贤鬼哭狼嚎。 小贤从噩梦中惊醒：“啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！我想清楚了，我不能跟榕榕结婚，我家里会变成联合国的。” 展博握紧拳头，挥了挥：“不管你做什么决定，我们都支持你。” 小贤歇斯底里地叫喊：“我要分手，我要分手，我要分手。”边说边跳，小贤说着说着声音越来越轻，越来越轻，开始哽咽。 宛瑜怜惜地问道：“曾老师，你怎么了。” 小贤带着哭腔说：“你们想想这场景，你坐在她身边，而她一无所知依旧和你说笑。然后你开口，她奔溃，然后大哭，然后两个人一起哭得死去活来的。最后你还是要义正词严地告诉他：'我们不可能了，你还是去买根黄瓜吧！'哦，太残忍了！” 子乔不屑地说：“这是分手的常规程序。但是绝对不可能发生在你的身上。” “为什么？”小贤抬起头。 “因为她是榕榕啊，你看到过铁锁连舟的人晕船吗？”子乔觉得小贤明知故问。 小贤还是没听懂。 子乔只好耐着性子解释：“所以我觉得情况应该是这样的，你跟她开口，然后她静静地看着你，你崩溃，然后大哭，然后她把你揽在怀里义正词严地告诉你：'好了别哭了，洗洗睡吧，明天还要上班呢，'”“啪！”学榕榕拍手，“别没事吃饱了撑的胡说八道了！” “啪！”展博、宛瑜也学榕榕拍手。 "agree!" 小贤没了支持，决定逃避：“我看算了，我还是从长计议吧。” 子乔真为小贤着急：“这事情不能拖，曾老师。否则会后患无穷的。放心你伤不了榕榕。” 展博也在鼓动：“当断则断，要是被霸王硬上弓就来不及了。” “这话用在我身上怎么怪怪的……你是说今天就……？”小贤忽然意识到自己已经站在风口浪尖上。 宛瑜不给他迟疑的机会：“对！就今天，在这儿。我们可以帮你把风。” 子乔添油加醋地说：“你动手杀了她，我们帮你毁尸灭迹，清理现场！” 小贤一幅脓包相：“哈，到时候你们收拾的一定是我的尸体。我到底应该怎么跟她