Chapter 32 Thirty-one, sea of life
"How long have you been standing here?"
"Twenty minutes, I saw you and your dad—is that your dad? I saw you two coming, so I hid quickly, and he came out after he left. I wanted to throw a stone at your glass, you live The fourth floor is too high, I can't throw it up."
Chen Jianxia pulled Li Ran away from the sidewalk at the door to avoid being seen by the dormitory teacher in the mail room. He accidentally saw him still wearing the chemical fiber scarf he lent him last time, and his heart softened.
"I thought you were still angry, and I was afraid that you would continue to shut down and ignore me, so I ran over here. Although I don't know where I was wrong, but I was wrong, and you are right about everything." Li Ran said with a smile.
Chen Jianxia raised his eyes to look at him, his heart was as bright as a street lamp.
She likes his calmness and directness, and he just stepped through a mess that was ten kilometers away in her heart.Because he is confident, he can calmly say "I'm afraid you will continue to shut down and ignore me", instead of worrying about being underestimated by anyone.
Such a person.Such a person who is completely opposite to Chen Jianxia.
"You don't know where you went wrong?" Chen Jianxia tilted her head.
Li Ran laughed and scratched the back of his head: "If I tell you my mistakes again, won't you get angry again?"
Chen Jianxia was happy: "Just tell me, I'm not angry."
"Don't you just dislike me saying that you study hard? I know good students like you, who are obviously working hard, but pretend that you are born smart, just because you are afraid of who will say that you work hard."
Realizing that Jian Xia's demeanor was wrong again, Li Ran quickly changed back: "But I, I was just kidding you, I..."
"It's true that I'm not smart," Jian Xia smiled, and tried to be as frank as he was, "but I'm not stupid. Smart or smart is relative. It depends on who you compare with."
She looked at him with smiling eyes: "For example, I'm not smarter than Ling Xiangqian in studying; I'm not smarter than Yu Sisi in life."
"Why are you here again..." Li Ran cried with a sad face, "Can you not mention the two of them?"
"No, no, no," Chen Jianxia clarified, "I'm not...I'm serious. You're right, I have low self-esteem, and I'm competitive. I can't see you praising others."
"I didn't praise them both?"
"I boasted in my heart."
"You're being unreasonable! Do you know what I'm thinking? Did you accuse me like this?"
"Shut up!" Jian Xia waved his hand domineeringly, "What I want to discuss with you is a serious outlook on life, not a small love and a love of jealousy, please give me more air!"
After a few seconds of silence, Li Ran's loud laughter almost knocked the snow off a tree.
Chen Jianxia had never talked so much with anyone.
"I have no friends." She stepped into the snow in the green belt and said such an opening sentence.
It's not that there were no partners who held hands and went to the bathroom together, but gradually they couldn't play together.Chen Jianxia was ashamed to admit to anyone that she was proud, competitive, and looked down on her classmates.Yanque knows the lofty ambitions. She doesn't like the chattering boys and girls in the front, back, left, and right. She only occasionally shows a grandiose smile and says politely, "Everyone has his own ambition, and all roads lead to Rome."
However, a good friend in adolescence is not as "meaningless" as Chen Jianxia thinks—because, no matter how sensible a girl is, she will have worries.
The tall and handsome gym student in the next class changed his girlfriend again, and it was the pretty girl with bangs at the back table, but he must not know that his girlfriend likes to pick his nostrils with colorfully painted nails, and wipe his booger directly under the table; He is obviously better than his younger brother in every way, why can he buy the latest Wenquxing, her Aihua Walkman is twisted, and my mother is unwilling to buy a repeater for herself; the English teacher always points at her, pointing fingers at her, saying that some Students with good grades are defiant and don't listen well, but it's obvious that this teacher speaks his own local pronunciation, and listening to the class is the only way to deceive himself...
When she was a teenager, she actually buried all these thoughts in the soil.It wasn't until meeting Li Ran that Chen Jianxia was surprised at how dull and restrained he was once when he was so eager to confide that he couldn't restrain himself.How did she do it all these years?
She and Li Ran talked about their parents.Talking about my father failing the college entrance examination, unable to hold his head up, breaking up with a college student, and being introduced to my mother who was educated in junior high school; talking about the whole story of the phone call heard by Li Ran, which revolved around an old house in my grandma’s house that might be demolished And the protracted and ugly war that started; she told her that her father didn't love her mother, she talked about the shock and conflict in her heart when she saw Aunt Lu and her father's affection, and she finally understood how chaotic and vague feelings are. She despises this kind of betrayal of the family, even if there is no actual derailment, it is just a mental wandering - but on the other hand, she can understand her father's spiritual world like an adult, and even feel a little sad...
Chen Jianxia speaks incoherently.
Li Ran opened his mouth, as if he wanted to comfort him, but Jian Xia grabbed his sleeve and motioned him not to say anything.
"While I have the guts to go on." She lowered her eyes.
Li Ran nodded slightly.
They walked to that beautiful old street again. The shops closed early in winter. Fortunately, it was approaching Christmas, and the street trees were wrapped in colorful lights. The spotlights on the edges of the buildings were not turned off.
"Actually, you're right. I'm a competitive person, and I'm not as afraid of Yu Sisi and Li Zhenping as I appear on the surface. I don't know what I really look like. Since I was a child, I hated being told that I was hardworking. When I was three, our English teacher didn’t like me, and always deliberately praised other students in front of me, saying that he was smart, very smart, and that as long as he worked hard, he could surpass Chen Jianxia, but he didn’t find the right way to study..."
Seeing Xia paused, he revealed a slightly sinister and proud smile.
"I was in a hurry that time, and I talked back to the teacher on the spot; 'I can't even find the right way to study, isn't that stupid?'"
Li Ran laughed, and naturally embraced Chen Lanxia's shoulders, and patted them vigorously.
It's like a silent compliment.
"Don't you think I'm annoying? Don't you think it's petty? When I see you talking about Ling Xiangqian in the hallway with your junior high school classmates, you will be very angry. It's not because of jealousy, but because of jealousy. I'm jealous of her beauty and rich family. Being loved by others. Do you think it's okay for me like this?"
She stopped and stared at Li Ran directly and frankly.
"Including..." Chen Jianxia's heart trembled, but he mustered up the courage to continue, "Including, I like you, but I'm afraid that the teacher will scold you, I'm afraid others will say about me, that I'm in love with a gangster, so I dare not be with you, But still domineering and jealous, I want you to like me and be nice to me... In this way, do you think I'm nice too?"
Li Ran didn't smile, looked at her seriously, and nodded solemnly.
"pretty good."
Chen Jianxia's tears flowed down.
Li Ran suddenly grabbed her sleeve and ran forward, almost pulling her a big somersault.
He dragged her like this and strode wildly in the old street with few people. Chen Jianxia was crying in the cold wind.
Did you listen to me?All the dark thoughts, never leave a word, can you really hear clearly?Jian Xia was choking on the wind from crying, and hiccupped violently when he stopped in the department store.
The only building on the street that was still open, when Li Ran led her to force her way in, the security guards were already chasing customers out.They went up to the second floor and stopped in front of a brand that Jian Xia didn't recognize. Facing the surprised gaze of the teller, Li Ran pointed to the scarves on the shelf and asked, "Which one do you like?"
Seeing that Xia Gang wanted to ask, Li Ran interrupted: "The door is about to close, you can ask why later, hurry up and choose one."
She pointed to the brown and yellow checked scarf in the middle: "...that?"
Li Ran quickly said to the teller: "Invoice!"
Until he covered her face with a brand new cashmere scarf, Chen Jianxia was still dazed, not understanding why Li Ran was fussing.
"Why?" she asked.
Li Ran tied the scarf for her and tied it with a slipknot. The warm and soft touch made her relax.
He looked at her, held back for a long time and said, "I'm afraid you'll be cold when I go skiing tomorrow."
Wang Nanyu did not personally lead the group.Early in the morning at the gathering place, he greeted the tour guide leading the group that day in front of Chen Jianxia and Li Ran, and sent them to the bus.
"Unexpected, you. Our classmates will definitely not believe it if they find out." When passing by Chen Jianxia, Wang Nanyu blinked slyly, pouted at Li Ran's back, and teased kindly.
Chen Jianxia blushed, but didn't say the explanation.
"I don't believe it." She muttered.
There is nothing to explain.She and Li Ran are the kind of relationship that others see.
The whole car is full of strangers.Chen Jianxia smiled, today, there is nothing to be afraid of.
Chen Jianxia was skiing for the first time, blinked and followed behind Li Ran, watching how he rented ski suits, gloves, and goggles, asked him to help him step on the skis, and just took a step and screamed and fell for the first time.
The sky is blue.The cable car is very small and cannot be shared by two people. Chen Jianxia can only sit on it by herself. When she reaches the top of the slope, the cable car does not stop.Jian Xia was so nervous that he was sweating, and looked back anxiously at Li Ran who was wearing a blue ski suit behind him.
"If I say let go, let go, don't be afraid," Li Ran stood about five meters behind, "There are also staff members up there to pick you up."
It's nice to be protected.Chen Jianxia is a little addicted, like a child who has never eaten candy, licking a little bit of sweetness; even if the whole world warns her that her teeth will be full of decay, she can't help but want to have another bite, another bite.
Last night, at the door of the dormitory, she asked, why do you want to be nice to me?I'm just a timid, arrogant, and inferior ordinary girl. I'm not good-looking. I used to be a good student, but I don't even have this advantage in Zhenhua.Why?
Li Ran said honestly, I don't know.
"At first I just thought you were funny. Later... I don't know. Why do you think so much?"
This is not an answer that makes girls happy, and it doesn't even make Chen Jianxia feel safe.Will one day when Li Ran thinks clearly, or when Ling Xiangqian turns around and falls in love with him, this kind of warm giving will suddenly stop?
Chen Jianxia is still not sure whether he is the "compromise choice" after Ling Xiangqian and Yu Sisi.
However, Li Ran's eyes suddenly became clear, and he asked with a sharp smile: "Chen Jianxia, feel your conscience, do you really think that you are worse than them? Do you really think so?"
of course not.
When the cable car reached the top of the slope, Jian Xia let go of the tow bar without hesitation and jumped off, moving towards the slide awkwardly but confidently.
After walking a few steps, she turned her head and looked at Li Ran who was following him, and smiled.
Of course she is not bad, of course she is worthy of liking, more worthy than anyone else.
The future will be even better.
Later, Chen Jianxia went crazy. She liked weightless rides like roller coasters, and the thrill of rushing down the slide was even more to her liking.She kept Li Ran's instructions in mind when she first slid down, bent her knees and arched her back, and kept her center of gravity extremely low. After a whole morning, she never fell again, and she even learned to use a ski pole to stop suddenly without a teacher.
At first, Li Ran followed behind to protect her, but later she was completely thrown away, and she no longer turned around to check Li Ran's position from time to time.When it was lunch time, Jian Xia finally took off her skis and hat, her forehead was slightly wet, and she was steaming white in the ice and snow.
Other tourists in the same group regarded them as a young couple.Chen Jianxia graciously helped Li Ran get the buffet, shouted his name in front of others, asked him what he ate and drank, and no longer had to shy away from being seen by anyone.
After lunch, you can choose a horseback riding excursion, or you can go back to ski for an hour.Before Li Ran could express his opinion, he put on the goggles when he saw Xia, and said, I will go skating for a few more laps.
Li Ran froze for a moment, and said, you go, I'm a little tired, and I'm looking at you here.
Seeing Xia smiled, she ran towards the white hillside without looking back.
This time it was worth the fare, although the two of them didn't spend any money at first, on the return trip, Chen Jianxia leaned against the window glass of the bus and looked out the window, the scenery of white mountains and black waters slowly moved away.There is a strange song playing in the car, I don't know where the language is.
"Which language is this?" Jian Xia asked.
"Hokkien. That's strange. Why did the driver play this song? Is he from Fujian?"
"You know this song?"
"My dad used to sell tea in Fujian, and later bought some tapes in Hokkien to play at home. I've heard this song before, and it seems to be called "Life in the Sea."
There is really nothing you don't know.Jian Xia asked in admiration, "What do you mean?"
"Well... Probably, life is like the sea, at a loss, with ups and downs, unpredictable, and you don't know what will happen in the next second."
Seeing that Xia stopped talking, she was in a daze while looking at the vast fields beside the highway.
Li Ran turned her head around, deliberately pretended to be sad and said: "It's over, you will slip out of your mind and go wild, you don't need me anymore."
Jian Xia was amused, and raised her neck proudly: "Of course it's best to rely on yourself."
"Of course you are, I have a hunch."
"What premonition?"
"I can't tell," he scratched his head, looking embarrassed, "Didn't you ask me yesterday why I gave you the scarf?"
"Is it because you withheld mine, so you returned the gift?" Jian Xia asked intentionally.
"Fart," Li Ran said disdainfully, "What material is that piece of yours, and what material is the one I gave you?"
Chen Jianxia rolled his eyes, is it amazing to be rich?
"Actually, it's the same as this scarf." Li Ran stopped joking, the young man's voice was very clear amidst the noise of the car, "Your scarf is not warm, I wear it because of you; and I gave you the scarf, I hope it can really block the wind for you; take it off when the weather is warm, and put it on the bottom of the box when you don’t need it, it’s as natural as the seasons change.”
Seeing that Xia was ignorant, she seemed to understand something.
"Yesterday you asked me, if you are afraid of being discovered by your puppy love, so you don't want to get too close to me, but you hope I will treat you well..."
"Stop talking." Jian Xia blushed.
How can the dirty and dark thoughts of the day and night be exposed like this.Chen Jianxia was feeling ashamed, but Li Ran smiled, and suddenly reached out and hugged Chen Jianxia who was beside him tightly.
"So, do you understand my answer now?" The young man said lazily, concealing his sincerity.
"Sometimes people are as natural as wearing a scarf in winter and eating popsicles in summer. I chased Ling Xiangqian because she was beautiful, and approached you because you were fun. Until now, I like... like... Anyway, you There is no need to be a burden. I will protect you silently and stay with you forever. I will not say or do such disgusting words; but I promise that I will be like this scarf, which you wear when you are cold, and when you are hot Just take it off. That's enough."
Seeing Xia's nose sour, she wanted to say something, but felt that everything was pale and powerless.
The singer is still singing about his life, which is as dazed as the sea, in an incomprehensible language. The car has already driven into the urban area, and drove back to Zhenhua, heading for the boring and invisible daily life.
Only this short-lived companion knows that Chen Jianxia and Li Ran are a good couple.Very good couple.
Before parting, Li Ran pulled Jian Xia to tighten the scarf and said goodbye to her.
Chen Jianxia walked a few steps, but still couldn't help but turn around and ask, "When you were in the car, you said you had a premonition...what kind of premonition?"
With his hands in his pockets, Li Ran watched her An Ran.
"I have a feeling that summer will come sooner or later."