Chapter 36 Chapter Thirty-Sixth: The Birds, the Wild Flowers
The two ate some dried venison, then lay down on the bank of the river to rest, and waited until the second watch, and quietly walked towards the city.There was no sound in the surrounding area, the moonlight was very bright this night, I could see that the city wall was built with big wood and big stones, the area was really not small, it was definitely not achieved overnight.Wei Xiaobao thought to himself: "This city has been built here a long time ago, it's not that someone peeked at my map, informed the Raksha people, and then came here to build the city." Seeing the shadows of himself and Shuang'er reflected on the ground, he couldn't help shuddering Frightened, he thought to himself that if there were Raksha soldiers guarding the top of the city, if a few shots were fired, Wei Xiaobao would become Wei Sibao.Immediately tugged on the pair, bent down, and observed the movement.I saw a small wooden hut at the southeast corner of the city wall, with flames shining through the windows, it seemed that the guards lived there.Wei Xiaobao whispered in Shuang'er's ear: "Let's go over there and have a look." The two slowly crawled towards the wooden house.
As soon as he got outside the window, he suddenly heard a few women's laughter coming from inside the house, the laughter was very obscene.Wei Xiaobao and Shuang'er looked at each other, both wondering: "Why is there a woman?" Wei Xiaobao stretched his eyes to the window crack to look around.The local weather was cold and windy, the windows were tightly packed, and you couldn't see anything, but there were constant voices in the house, a man and a woman, talking and laughing, not understanding a word.
Wei Xiaobao knew that this pair of Rakshasa men and women were up to no good, his heart moved, he stretched out his arms to hold Shuang'er in his arms, Shuang'er heard the voices in the room, he seemed to understand but vaguely knew something was wrong, after being hugged by Wei Xiaobao, he was afraid Let the people in the house notice and dare not move a little.Wei Xiaobao got what he wanted, he hugged her even tighter with his left arm, and gently stroked her face with his right hand.Shuang'er's body softened and leaned against his arms.Unexpectedly, the ground was covered with ice, Wei Xiaobao was so amused, his foot slipped, he couldn't stand still, when there was a bang, his head hit the wooden window heavily, he couldn't help but yelled "Ah yo".
The voices in the room paused, and after a while, a man's voice shouted and asked.Wei Xiaobao and Shuang'er lay on the ground, they didn't know what to do for a while, they heard the latch being pulled out, and the wooden door was pushed open, one of them carried a lantern and looked outside the door.Wei Xiaobao jumped up lightly, thrusting the dagger into his chest.The man didn't even hum, and just collapsed limply.
Shuang'er entered the room first, but saw that the room was empty and there was no one there, and wondered: "Eh, where's the woman?" Wei Xiaobao followed in, and saw a Kang, a wooden table, and a wooden box in the room, on which there was light. He held a bear fat candle, but the woman disappeared, and said: "Find her quickly, don't let her report the news." Seeing that there is no way out of the room except the door.He pulled the dead man in and closed the door.Seeing that the dead man was a foreign soldier, his lower body was naked and he didn't wear pants.
Wei Xiaobao looked up at the beam, saw nothing unusual, said: "It must be here." He rushed to the side of the box, lifted the lid, and dodged to the side to prevent the Rakshasa woman from shooting inside the box. .After a while, there was no movement.Shuang'er said: "It's not in the box either, it's really strange."
When Wei Xiaobao approached to look, he saw that the box was full of furs, and when he stretched out his hand to dig it out, there were also furs underneath.Suddenly smelled a strong fragrance, which is obviously the fragrance of women's makeup, and said: "This place is a bit unreliable." He grabbed the fur and threw it on the ground, there was a big hole under the box, and said happily: "Here it is!"
Shuang'er said: "So there is an authentic tunnel here." Wei Xiaobao said: "Hurry up and stop that Raksha woman. As soon as she goes to report the news, a brigade of foreign robbers will come, so be good." He quickly took off his bloated leather jacket, held it in his hand Dagger, then drilled in from the hole.He is very afraid of foreign soldiers, but foreign women don't take it to heart.
The tunnel was slanted downwards, and he could only crawl. He was thin and nimble, and he crawled very quickly in the tunnel. After climbing more than ten feet, he heard a sound in front of him.He strengthened his limbs and crawled even faster. The sound in front of him was already very close. He reached forward with his left hand and grabbed it hard, and touched a bare calf.The woman let out a low cry and hurriedly fled forward.
Wei Xiaobao was overjoyed and thought to himself: "If I stab you to death with a sword, I'm not considered a hero. Good men don't fight women, and Chinese good men don't fight Rakshasa ghosts. I have seen many foreign male ghosts, what does a foreign female ghost look like?" You should take a closer look." Putting the dagger back into the scabbard, he rushed forward for more than ten feet, and grabbed the woman's calf with both hands.
The woman couldn't turn around in the tunnel, and crawled forward desperately.This woman is really strong, Wei Xiaobao couldn't hold her back, instead she dragged her forward by Zhang Xu.Wei Xiaobao stretched his feet and pressed against the dirt walls on both sides of the tunnel, so he stopped pulling her forward.Suddenly, the woman struggled hard, Wei Xiaobao's hand slipped, and she broke free unexpectedly.The woman moved forward quickly, Wei Xiaobao pounced on her, hugged her waist, suddenly the head was empty, but came to a relatively spacious place.The woman laughed twice, turned her head, and kissed him, but in the darkness, she kissed his nose.
Wei Xiaobao only felt that his nose was filled with a strong fragrance, and the woman he was holding in his arms was naked and naked, and then felt that the woman turned her back and hugged him, he was confused for a while, and Shuang'er asked in a low voice. Said: "Master, what's the matter?" Wei Xiaobao muttered a few times, and when he was about to answer, the woman in his arms stretched out her mouth and kissed his mouth, and she was speechless immediately.
Suddenly I heard someone above my head saying: "We learned that the governor came to Yaksa, so we came to meet."
These words pierced into his ears, like a bucket of ice water pouring down his head, and the person who spoke was actually the leader of Shenlongjiao Hong.
Why is Master Hong on top of his head?Why is this Raksha woman in my arms so coquettish and affectionate?There are many strange things in his life, but what he encountered in this tunnel tonight was unprecedented and unimaginable.What he holds in his arms is warm and fragrant nephrite, and what he thinks about is that Hong Jiao's main cramp is skinned.Terrified, he hastily let go of the woman in his arms, and wanted to turn around and run away, but he didn't know that the woman hugged him tightly and refused to let go.Wei Xiaobao was very anxious, and whispered in her ear: "Ji Li Gu Lu, Xi Li Hua La, confused." These few fabricated Rakshasa words, I just hope she can understand them.
The woman chuckled twice, whispered a few words in his ear, presumably in authentic Rakshasa dialect, then stretched out her hand, and wrung his cheek hard.
At this moment, a man above his head was heard babbling a series of foreign languages.As soon as his voice stopped, another person said: "My lord governor said: The leader of the Dragon Sect is here. He welcomes you very much. If you didn't come to greet him, you are very rude. Please forgive me. Your lord governor congratulates leader Hong on his long life. Congratulations." Longevity, everything goes well, I hope to be good friends with Master Hong, and work together to achieve great things together."
Wei Xiaobao thought in his heart: "The person who spread the message is not learned. He spread the word 'Longevity to the Immortals, Longevity to the Heavens' as long life to a hundred years, many blessings and long life."
I only listened to Hong Jiaozhu's way: "I congratulate the Emperor of the Raksha Kingdom on his longevity and longevity, and congratulate the Governor-General on his longevity and prosperity. We are going to be promoted every day. We will do our best to work together with the Raksha Kingdom to achieve great things. I will never betray the alliance." The person who sent the message said, and the governor of the Raksha Kingdom continued to chatter endlessly.
Wei Xiaobao asked in a low voice beside the woman: "Who are you? Why don't you wear clothes?" The woman laughed softly: "Who are you? Why are you wearing clothes?" Then she came to untie Wei Xiaobao's underwear.Wei Xiaobao is in the moment, how can he be in the mood to engage in such flirtatious and happy activities?He had heard Tang Ruowang and Nan Huairen speak Chinese, so he was not surprised to hear that this Raksha woman could speak Chinese, so he hurriedly said, "It's very dangerous here, let's get out." The woman whispered: " Don’t move, don’t move! If you move, you’ll hear.” Although she spoke Chinese, her tone was blunt, which sounded very awkward.
Wei Xiaobao didn't dare to move a little at the moment, he heard the discussion between Master Hong and the governor of Naluocha Kingdom, how Wu Sangui would join forces in Yunnan, and the two sides would attack the Manchu Qing, the strategy they decided was exactly the same as that Mongolian bearded Han Tiemo said.Later, Master Hong offered another plan, saying that if the Raksha Kingdom attacked from Liaodong, the distance would be far away, and the Qing soldiers would be heavily defended along the way. It would be better to land in Tianjin by sea and attack Beijing directly with firearms and cannons. It would be better than Wu Sangui to take Beijing .The governor was overjoyed, and even said it was a great plan, saying that Hierarch Hong is so loyal, that in the future he will definitely set aside several provinces in China and make him king.Master Hong thanked without saying a word.Wei Xiaobao was startled and angry, and thought to himself: "Master Hong is also a big traitor, he is no different from Wu Sangui. His plan is very vicious, I have to go and tell the little emperor to install more cannons in Haikou, Tianjin, and the Luocha Kingdom's military ships." Come on, just bang bang, bang bang, bang the fuck."
I just heard Master Hong say: "Your Excellency came to China from afar, and we have nothing good to honor. Here are 100 pieces of Dadongzhu, 100 pieces of mink fur, and 100 catties of ginseng, which will be given to the Governor. There are also tributes. , and present it to the Raksha Emperor."
Hearing this, Wei Xiaobao thought to himself: "This old dog has prepared so many presents, and he has supernatural powers." Suddenly he felt a heat on his face, the woman pressed her cheek against her, and then felt her reach out to feel her body.Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice: "I won't be polite if you touch me." He stretched out his hand to touch her chest.The woman suddenly laughed out loud.
This laughter was not light, Master Hong heard it right away, but thought that there was a woman hiding in the governor's room, which was normal, so he pretended not to hear it, and said a few polite words, saying that we will discuss it in detail tomorrow, Then he said goodbye and went out.
Wei Xiaobao suddenly heard a slap on the top of his head, his eyes were dazzling, it turned out that he and the woman were hugging each other in a big wooden box, the lid had just been lifted.
The woman smiled coquettishly, jumped out of the wooden box, took a piece of clothing to put on her body, and said to Wei Xiaobao with a smile: "Come out, come out!"
Wei Xiaobao slowly stepped out of the wooden box.I saw a burly foreign military officer standing beside the box with his sword in his hand.The woman smiled and said, "There is one more!"
Shuang'er originally wanted to hide in the box, if Wei Xiaobao was in danger, he would try to rescue him, but hearing what she said, he had no choice but to jump out.
Wei Xiaobao saw that the woman had golden hair that fell down to her shoulders, a pair of green eyes, and her skin was white, her appearance was very beautiful, but her nose was a bit too high, and her figure was half a head taller than him .Wei Xiaobao had never seen a foreign woman before, so he couldn't tell how old she was, probably only in her twenties.She looked at Wei Xiaobao with a smile, and said, "You, kid, touch me, you bastard, hee hee!"
The governor had a sullen face and murmured for a while.That woman is also a jabbering set.The governor looked respectful and bowed a few times.The woman spoke again, pointing at Wei Xiaobao.The governor opened the door and called the Chinese interpreter in. A man and a woman kept talking.
Wei Xiaobao saw that there were a lot of furs in the room, and several pieces of glittering women's clothes were placed on the couch. Seeing that woman exposed half of her snow-white breasts and two calves, her skin was radiant, and she thought to herself: "I hugged this woman just now In my arms, why did I just fumble a few times so carelessly, and let it go? I caught a good deck of cards, but forgot to take the bet. I was so scared and confused by Master Hong."
Suddenly the interpreter said: "The princess and the governor asked you, who are you?" Wei Xiaobao wondered: "Is she the princess?" The interpreter said: "This is the emperor's sister, Sophia Your Royal Highness, this is His Excellency Governor Gao Lijin, quickly kneel down and salute."
Wei Xiaobao thought to himself: "Your Highness, why is there such a mess?" But then he thought that the mess of Princess Jianning, Kangxi's imperial sister, is not inferior to this princess Luocha. Every emperor's royal sister must be beautiful and messy , then this princess must be the real thing, so she greeted her with a smile, and said, "Hello, Your Highness, you are so beautiful, like a fairy descended from the sky. We have never had a beauty like you in China."
Sophia could speak the most basic Chinese, and after hearing Wei Xiaobao's words, she knew that she praised herself for being beautiful, and immediately she was elated, and said: "My child, that's very good, there is a reward." She walked to the table, pulled the drawer, took out He bought more than a dozen gold coins and put them in Wei Xiaobao's hands.Wei Xiaobao said: "Thank you." He stretched out his hand, under the candlelight, seeing the five fingers of the princess were like jade green onions, he couldn't help but stretch out his hand to grab it, put it to his mouth and kissed it.The interpreter was shocked, and shouted: "Don't be rude!" He knew that kissing hands is very common in Western countries, and it was originally a sign of respect for noble women, Wei Xiaobao made a mistake and did it right.It's just that the hand kiss was on the back of the woman's hand, but he grabbed Princess Sophia's palm and sucked his fingers indiscriminately, looking quite anxious.Sophia giggled coquettishly, but didn't pull her hand back.
Sophia smiled and asked: "Little boy, what are you doing?" Wei Xiaobao said: "Little boy, hunting."
Suddenly a person outside the door said loudly: "This kid is a minister under the Chinese emperor, don't let him get away with it." It was the voice of Hierarch Hong.
Wei Xiaobao was scared out of his wits, he pulled Shuang'er's sleeve and rushed out the door.As soon as the door was opened, Master Hong opened his hands and blocked the door.Shuang'er jumped up and punched him in the face.Master Hong blocked her with his left hand, pointed at her waist with his right hand, and Shuang'er fell to the ground with a hum.
Wei Xiaobao smiled and said: "Master Hong, your old man will enjoy immortal blessings forever, and live as long as the heavens. Where is Madam, is she here too?"
Master Hong didn't answer, grabbed his back by the collar with his left hand, brought him into the room, and said, "His Royal Highness, Your Excellency Governor: This man is called Wei Xiaobao, he is the most trusted minister of the Emperor of China, he is the Emperor's deputy chief of guards, his kinsman." The Bingdutong, the imperial envoy, and the first-class viscount." The interpreter translated these few sentences.
Both Princess Sophia and the Governor had expressions of disbelief on their faces.Sophia smiled and said, "Children, not ministers. Ministers, fake."
Master Hong said: "I have evidence." Turning around, he ordered: "Bring this kid's clothes."
Lu Gaoxuan came in with a bag, and when he opened it, it was Wei Xiaobao's original clothes and hats.
Wei Xiaobao was greatly surprised: "How come all these clothes are in his hands? Master Hong really has great powers."
Master Hong ordered Lu Gaoxuan: "Put it on for him." Lu Gaoxuan agreed, shook off the clothes, and put them on for Wei Xiaobao.These clothes, together with the yellow jacket, were torn by thorns in the woods, but they obviously fit them perfectly. With the hat and feathers on, he was indeed a high-ranking official of the Qing court.If these clothes and hats were not Wei Xiaobao's own, it would be difficult to have such a small official uniform in the world.
Wei Xiaobao smiled and said: "Master Hong, you are very capable. I lost clothes along the way, and you picked them up along the way."
Master Hong instructed Lu Gaoxuan: "Search him to see what's there."
Wei Xiaobao said: "You don't need to search, I'll take it out." He took out a large stack of bank notes from his pocket, the amount was huge.
The governor had been in Liaodong for a long time, and he knew the banknotes, flipped them over a few times, was very surprised, and murmured to the princess, as if to say: "This child really has a lot of history, and he has so much silver with him."
Hong Jiaozhu said: "This kid is very cunning, search him." Lu Gaoxuan searched out all the things around Wei Xiaobao, among them was a secret edict written by Kangxi himself, ordering: "The imperial envoy, the deputy guard in the territory, The minister, who is also the commander of the Yellow Banner Manchurian Commander of the Xiaoqiying Battalion, conferred the title of Bravery on Batulu, wearing a yellow jacket, and the first-class Viscount Wei Xiaobao went to the Liaodong area on business, and along the way, hundreds of civil and military officials were waiting for dispatch." The imperial treasure was affixed to this decree. .
The interpreter read it in Rakshasa dialect, and Princess Sophia and Governor Gao Lijin were amazed when they heard it.
Master Hong said: "Princess Qi: The emperor of China is a child, and he likes to use children as high officials. This child plays games with the little emperor of China. He can flatter and brag. The little emperor likes him."
Sophia didn't understand what "flattering and bragging" meant. After asking about the interpreter, she giggled and said, "I also like people's flattering and bragging." Wei Xiaobao was overjoyed immediately.Master Hong's face was very ugly.
Sophia asked again: "How old is the little emperor of China?" Wei Xiaobao said: "The great emperor of China, seventeen years old." Sophia smiled and said: "The Great Czar of Luocha is my younger brother, also a child, twenty years old , not the old man." Wei Xiaobao was stunned: "What old man? Ah, she made a mistake and called the old man the old man." He pointed at her and said, "Princess Luocha is not the old man, very good. Pointing to himself, he said: "A senior Chinese official is not the boss, that's good!" Pointing to Master Hong, he said: "The Chinese scoundrel is the boss, not good! Not good!"
Sophia bent down laughing.The Governor of the Rakshasa Kingdom, a young man in his thirties, also laughed loudly.Master Hong turned pale, wishing he could kill Wei Xiaobao with his palm raised.
Sophia asked: "Children of China, high officials, what are you doing here?" Wei Xiaobao said: "The emperor of China heard that the adults of the Raksha Kingdom came to Liaodong, so he sent me to have a look. The Emperor knows that the emperor of the Raksha Kingdom I'm not a fool. I know that Princess Luocha is a fairy who came down to earth, so I sent a villain to give gifts. I gave the princess and the governor 200 pieces of Dadongzhu and 200 catties of ginseng. Unexpectedly, I met this big robber on the road and snatched the gifts away. ..."
Wei Xiaobao didn't finish his sentence, Hong Jiaozhu was so angry that he raised his right palm and struck Wei Xiaobao's head.Wei Xiaobao had heard in the box earlier that Hierarch Hong had given many precious gifts to the governor, so he doubled it and said it was from the emperor.When he was narrating, he focused his attention on Hierarch Hong, and when he saw him raise his palm, he performed the light kung fu of "Divine Actions and Changes" taught by Nine Difficulties, and slipped behind Princess Sophia.There was only a loud bang, and a wooden chair was hit by Master Hong's palm and collapsed.
Gao Lijin was taken aback, pulled out the short gun, pointed the muzzle at Master Hong, and ordered him not to move.
What Wei Xiaobao said just now was too long, the princess couldn't understand, so she ordered an interpreter to deliver the message, and after listening to it, she smiled and said to Master Hong: "If you steal his gift, you should ask for half of it yourself, that's not good!"
Master Hong said anxiously: "No. This kid is the best at talking nonsense, the princess must not trust him." He saw Governor Luocha pointing a short blunderbuss at himself. It's just that when he was plotting a big event, he had to rely on the strong support of the Raksha Kingdom, and he couldn't offend the governor because of a moment of anger, so he slowly retreated to the door without resisting.
Gao Lijin put away the short gun and said a few words.The interpreter said: "Master Governor, please don't be angry with Hierarch Hong, he knows that this kid is talking nonsense. The Emperor of China will never know about Princess Sophia's secret visit to the East. The Emperor of China will not give gifts to the Governor of Raksha Kingdom." Hierarch Hong The anger stopped, and he smiled and said: "Your Excellency Governor is wise and understands the situation, so he really won't be deceived by this kid."
Gao Lijin asked about Wei Xiaobao's background.Master Hong explained how he killed the minister Oboi, how he sent his younger sister to Yunnan to get married, how he bragged and flattered horses, did a lot of evil, and won the favor of Kangxi, etc., and finally said: "This boy is the little emperor's son. Left and right hands, if we kill this kid, the little emperor must be very unhappy. If we raise troops to do things, we will succeed much faster." He said while the interpreter kept translating into Raksha language.
Princess Sophia looked at Wei Xiaobao with a smile, she was very interested, it seemed that the more heinous Wei Xiaobao said, the more heinous Wei Xiaobao said, the happier she sounded.
Gao Lijin pondered for a while, then asked: "The Chinese emperor likes this child very much?" Hong Jiaozhu said: "That's right. Otherwise, how could he be such a high-ranking official at such a young age?" Gao Lijin said: "This child cannot be killed. Send a letter to the Emperor of China, asking him to bring a large amount of gold, silver and jewels in exchange for him." Sophia was overjoyed, kissed Gao Lijin on the left cheek, and said a few words.The interpreter couldn't translate these few sentences, presumably he praised him for being smart.Wei Xiaobao secretly rejoiced: "As long as you don't kill me, that's fine. It's very easy to ask the little emperor to redeem some gold, silver and jewels." Master Hong looked unhappy, but there was nothing he could do.
Wei Xiaobao divided the stack of silver bills into three stacks, one stack was given to Princess Sophia, the other stack was given to Gao Lijin, and two of the one hundred taels were drawn from the third stack and given to the interpreter. into his arms.
Sophia, Gao Lijin, and the interpreter all liked it.Sophia asked the interpreter to count the total amount of silver taels, and ordered him to try to send someone to the customs to exchange the silver.After counting, it was more than one hundred thousand taels, and he made a fortune by accident. He couldn't help being elated, hugged Wei Xiaobao, kissed him on both cheeks, and said: "There is enough money, let this child go home." !"
Wei Xiaobao thought to let himself go at this moment, he must give Master Hong a cramp and skin the skin, he hurriedly said: "I have never seen such a beautiful princess, I want to see it for a few more days." Sophia giggled coquettishly, and said: "We, Tomorrow, I’m going back to Moscow.” Wei Xiaobao didn’t know where Moscow was, and said, “The beautiful princess, go to Moscow, and the children and officials also go to Moscow. The beautiful princess, go to the sky and the moon, and the children and officials, also go to the sky and the moon .”
Sophia saw that he spoke smartly and was pleasing to others, so she nodded and said, "Okay, I'll take you to Moscow."
Gao Lijin frowned slightly, and was about to stop him, then nodded with a smile, and said, "Very well, we will take you to Moscow." He waved to Master Hong.
Master Hong had no choice but to leave, and glared at Wei Xiaobao when he went out.Wei Xiaobao stuck out his tongue at him, made a grimace, and said, "His Highness will enjoy immortal blessings forever, and his life will be as long as the heavens." Hung was extremely angry, took Lu Gaoxuan and others, and went away.
The emperor of the Rakshasa Kingdom is called the Tsar. He is twenty years old this year, and his name is Theoto III. Sophia is his sister.The Theoto III was born with a disability, limited mobility, and often dealt with rulings on his couch for state affairs. Rakshasa customs are very different from the Chinese state of etiquette and righteousness, and the defense between men and women has always been casual.Sophia is indulgent by nature and beautiful, and many princes and generals in the court are her lovers.Governor Gao Lijin is handsome and suave, and he is very popular with the princess.He was sent to the east to build cities in Nerchinsk and Yaksa in an attempt to enter China's Mongolia, Liaodong and other places.Where Yaksa City is located is the treasure trove of the Eight Banners of Manchuria.Manchurians and Rakshasa people chose this place as the hub where two great rivers converge.The princess is active and playful by nature. She heard that the East is mysterious and weird, and she misses her lover, so she chased her all the way from Moscow. Although Sophia liked Gao Lijin, she never dreamed of being loyal and single-minded.Today, I found a tunnel in Gao Lijin's bedroom, so I went down to investigate out of curiosity.This tunnel leads to the outside of Yaksa city and communicates with the sentry post. It was originally used by the governor to escape in case of changes in the city.Seeing the guard, Sophia made teasing words, and got up wildly with him.At this time, she heard Wei Xiaobao said that she would go to Moscow with her, and thought it was interesting, so she took him and Shuang'er along. Sophia was escorted by a team of 200 Cossack soldiers, sometimes on horses and sometimes on sledges, heading west day by day in the boundless snowfield. After doing this for more than 20 days, he was already far away from the city of Yaksa, and Hong Jiaozhu would never pursue him again. When Wei Xiaobao asked that it was still more than four months before he went to Moscow, he couldn't help being surprised, and said: "Isn't that the end of the sky? After walking for more than four months, the Chinese child will become a foreigner." Sophia said: "Then do you want to go back to Beijing? Are you tired of watching me?" Wei Xiaobao said: "The beautiful princess just looks at it for a thousand years, Ten thousand years, I will never get tired of watching it. But after going so far, I am afraid." Sophia spent the past twenty days talking to him to relieve boredom and learned a lot of Chinese.Wei Xiaobao is clever and quick, and has learned a lot of Rakshasa dialect.The journey of the two was lonely, one was not a virgin, and the other was not a gentleman; one could neither guard herself like a jade, and the other refused to sit still, so it was inevitable that some dewy marriages would form.At this time, Sophia heard that he was going back to Beijing, so she couldn't help feeling a little bit reluctant, and said, "I don't allow you to go. You send me to Moscow, stay with me for a year, and then let you go back." Wei Xiaobao secretly groaned, after getting along these days, he knew that the princess had a resolute character, if she didn't listen to her and insisted on leaving, she would probably order the Cossack soldiers to kill him, he was all smiles and even said he was very happy. In the evening, I quietly went to discuss with Shuang'er whether there was a chance to escape.Shuang'er said: "What should my husband do, I will follow your orders." Wei Xiaobao looked at the vast snow field, sighed, and shook his head, knowing that if the two of them escaped, if they didn't bring enough food, even if Sophia didn't send someone If you come to chase them, you will have to freeze to death and starve to death in this snowfield.In the past, in the forest and snowfield of Liaodong, although it was remote and cold, one could still hunt and forage, but now there were very few birds. Sometimes, after walking for a whole day, there was no trace of a single wild animal in the snow, let alone a sika deer. up.In desperation, he had to go west with Sophia. At the beginning, Wei Xiaobao still wondered what happened to the little emperor, whether Wu Sangui rebelled, whether the beautiful girl A Ke was in Kunming, and where Hong Jiaozhu and Fang Yi were.After walking in the big snowfield for more than a month, I didn't even think about these thoughts. In this icy and snowy place, my brain seemed to be frozen.Fortunately, he is cheerful and carefree by nature, sometimes he tells nonsensical Rakshasa jokes with Sophia, and sometimes tells nonsense stories to Shuang'er, but he is not lonely either. The day finally came outside Moscow.It was already April, and the climate was getting warmer, and the ice and snow had melted.
However, although the walls of Moscow City are strong and huge, they are very rough built. Looking at the houses in the city from a distance, they are also dirty and simple. Not to mention it cannot be compared with Beijing and Yangzhou, and it is far inferior to the small and medium-sized cities in the middle of the country. .The cathedral with only a few domed towers is still magnificent.When Wei Xiaobao saw it, he immediately looked down on the Raksha Kingdom: "Fucking Raksha Country, what's so great? Bring it to China, where cattle and pigs are raised. Thanks to this princess, she boasted about the prosperity of Moscow along the way." When it was tens of miles away from Moscow, the princess's guards flew into the city to report.Only the sound of horns was heard, and a group of Musketeers rode out from the city.Raksha people like to invade and merge, so the country is vast, stretching tens of thousands of miles from east to west, and the races are complex.One of the country's elite troops is the Cossack cavalry, who fought east and west, conquering cities and looting land, and subduing the people of all nationalities; The musketeers galloped closer, and Sophia was startled. She saw that all the officers and soldiers had black feathers on their heads, and strips of black cloth hung from the muskets, which was a sign of a state-owned funeral. asked, "What happened?" The captain of the Musketeer Battalion got off his horse, stepped forward and bowed, and said, "Princess Qi: Your Majesty has been summoned by God, and has left the country and people, and gone to heaven." Sophia was so sad that she shed tears and asked, "What is that?" When did it happen?" The captain said: "If the princess arrives four days earlier, she can bid farewell to the emperor." Although Sophia knew that the tsar brothers were weak and their lives would not last long, she was still overwhelmed by the news of the terrible news. Feeling sad, he fell on the saddle and burst into tears. Seeing the princess burst into tears, Wei Xiaobao asked for an interpreter, only to find out that the emperor of the Raksha Kingdom had died, and he was overjoyed: "The emperor of the Raksha Kingdom will not enjoy the blessings, there will always be chaos in the country, and he will send troops to fight against China. It's not that easy." Sophia and her party followed the captain into the city and were about to enter the palace.The captain said: "The empress dowager ordered the princess to go to the hunting palace outside the city to rest." Sophia was startled and angry, and shouted: "What empress dowager? That empress dowager can control me?" The captain waved his left hand and fired. The gunmen raised their muskets, confronted the guards accompanying the princess, handed over their swords and guns, and ordered the guards to dismount. The princess asked angrily: "Do you want to rebel?" The captain said: "The empress dowager is afraid that the princess will not obey the new emperor's edict after returning to Beijing, so she ordered the young general to protect the princess." Sophia blushed and said angrily: "New The emperor? Who is the new emperor?" The captain said: "The new emperor is His Majesty Peter I." Sophia laughed and said, "Peter? Peter is a ten-year-old boy. What kind of czar would he be? What are you talking about?" Empress Dowager, is Natalya?" The captain said, "Exactly." Sophia's father, Tsar Alexios Mikhailovich, married two queens.The first empress had many children. Both the former emperor Theoto III and Princess Sophia were born to her, and the youngest son was named Ivan.The second queen, Natalia, was much younger and had only one son, Peter. Sophia said: "You lead me into the palace, I'll see Natalya to comment on the truth. My brother Ivan is older than Peter, why didn't he make him the tsar? What happened to the ministers in the court? Are you being unreasonable? ?” The captain said: "The young general only obeys the orders of the empress dowager and the tsar, please don't be offended by the princess." He pulled the reins of Sophia's horse, turned and headed east. Sophia was furious. In her whole life, who would have dared to be so rude to her, picked up the whip, and whipped it on the head of the captain.The captain smiled slightly, dodged it, got on his horse, led the team, embraced the princess, and sent them, together with Wei Xiaobao and Shuang'er, to the hunting palace outside the city.The Musketeers deployed guards outside the palace, and no one was allowed to come out. Princess Sophia was furious and smashed the furniture in the bedroom to pieces.The cook of the Hunting Palace brought drinks and food on time, but Sophia also threw them face to face. After several days like this, seeing that the defense outside the Hunting Palace was not relaxed at all, Sophia called the captain and asked him how long he was going to lock himself up.The captain said: "The empress dowager ordered the princess to rest here. When Her Majesty Peter I celebrates the fiftieth anniversary of his enthronement, let the princess go out to participate in the celebration." Sophia was furious and said, "What are you talking about? Peter celebrated his enthronement The fiftieth anniversary, don't you want to lock me up here for fifty years?" The captain smiled and said, "The young general is forty years old this year, and I believe he can't serve the princess for another fifty years. After ten or fifteen years, there will be A younger captain will take over." Sophia shuddered at the thought of being imprisoned here for fifty years, and forced a smile, "Come here, captain, I see you are quite handsome." Wanting to seduce the captain with her beauty, let the captain bow down under the pomegranate skirt, Hu Li let himself out in a daze. The captain bowed deeply, took a step back, and said, "Princess, please forgive me. The Empress Dowager has a decree: If anyone among the officers and soldiers of the Musket Battalion touches a finger of the princess, he will be beheaded immediately. Kill him." The captain and the vice-captain will be promoted; if the vice-captain is killed, the squad leader of the first team will be promoted. Everyone wants to be promoted, so watch closely." It turns out that the empress dowager knew that Sophia was beautiful and romantic. I'm afraid I won't be able to lock her up. After the captain withdrew, Sophia had no choice but to lie on the bed and cry bitterly, cursing the empress dowager endlessly.
Wei Xiaobao was imprisoned in the hunting palace for many days. Seeing that the princess only lost her temper every day, and the musketeers guarding her were also very rude, she thought that the devil's place was really ghostly, so he discussed it with Shuang'er several times. I always feel that it is possible to escape from the Hunting Palace, but it is even more difficult to go back to Middle Earth.If there is no one to guide you, you will definitely get lost in the prairie.Not to mention that it took four or five months to get back to Beijing by car and horseback. Most likely, after only four or five days, I was already dizzy and couldn't distinguish east, west, north, south.The two of them had nothing to do, Wei Xiaobao had no choice but to talk all kinds of nonsense, to make both children smile and chat to ease their feelings. Today, it is said that Tang Seng took Monkey King, Monk Sha, and Zhu Bajie to the West to learn scriptures.Wei Xiaobao said: "I'll bet you that Tang Seng's journey to the west must not be as far as Moscow. So, I'm better than Tang Seng. If you don't believe me, why should I bet with you?" Shuang'er was not interested in gambling, and said: "Mr. If you're better than Tang Seng, you're better than Tang Seng, I won't bet with you. I'm not as good as Zhu Bajie." He pursed his lips and smiled.Suddenly, in the princess's room over there, there was another sound of falling objects, beating the bed, stamping feet, and crying. Wei Xiaobao sighed, and said: "I'll try to persuade you, what's the use of crying all the time?" Walking into the princess room, he said: "Princess, don't cry, I'll tell you a joke." Sophia Lie face down on the bed, kicking her feet back and forth, crying, "I won't listen, I won't listen. I want Sariza to go to hell, and Sarizana Daria to go to hell." Wei Xiaobao didn't understand what "Sariza" meant, but when he asked that it was the "tsar's mother", he was overjoyed and said, "I don't know what kind of villain Sariza is. It turns out to be the empress dowager. Let me tell you, China's Shaliza Zha, called an old bitch, is also a big villain, and then I thought of a way to drive her out of the palace. The emperor was very happy, and made me a high official in China." Sophia was overjoyed, turning over and sitting up, Asked: "What method do you use?" Wei Xiaobao thought to himself: "I chased away the old bitch because she is a fake queen mother. You old Rakshasa bitch, but you are a real Sariza, so my method will not work." He said: "My method is collusion Take the little emperor, deal with the Chinese Sariza." Sophia frowned and said, "Peter loves his mother very much, and he will not listen to my words to oppose Shaliza. Unless...unless..." Shaking her head, she got up from the bed, walked around on the carpet with bare feet, He gritted his teeth and thought. Wei Xiaobao said: "There used to be a female emperor in China, named Wu Zetian. This female emperor married many male queens and male wives, and she was very happy. My princess, I think you are similar to her. Why don't you become the female czar yourself? .” Sophia's heart moved, she had never thought about this matter, there had never been a female czar in the Raksha Kingdom, and she always believed that women could not be czars.Since China has a female emperor, why can't the Raksha Kingdom have a female tsar? 她自被囚在猎宫中之后，惊惧愤怒，脑中所不停盘旋的，只是如何逃出宫去，就算再到东方雅克萨，去跟高里津总督在一起，也比给皇太后监禁着好得多，这时忽然听到韦小宝说起“女沙皇”，眼前陡然间出现了一个新天地。她转过身来，眼中放出光彩，双手按住韦小宝肩头，在他左颊上轻轻一吻，微笑道：“我如做了女沙皇，就封你为皇后。” 韦小宝吓了一跳，心想：“这可万万使不得。”忙道：“我，中国人，做不得罗刹国男皇后，你封我做大官罢。” 苏菲亚道：“你又做皇后，又做大官。”韦小宝心想：“眼前不知性命是不是能保，却在穷快活，又封我做皇后，又做大官。”苏菲亚道：“你快给我想个法子，怎么让我做女沙皇。” 韦小宝皱起眉头，说到军国大事，他的见识实在平庸得很，和康熙固然天差地远，也远远及不上陈近南、索额图、吴三桂等人，说道：“公主，这种事难得很，我可不会想了。我即刻回去北京，请问我们的小皇帝，让他给出个主意，然后我带一批大本事的人回来，捉住那沙里扎罗刹老婊子，又捉住彼得小沙皇，这就大功告成了。”他说到“大功告成”四字，忍不住搂住苏菲亚，吻了她一下。 苏菲亚“唔”了一声，说道：“不成，不成！你回去北京，再来莫斯科，一年也不够，我，已经死了，上天堂了。”韦小宝心想这话倒也不错，叹了口气，说道：“美丽公主，上天堂，中国小孩子大官，也跟着上天堂了。”苏菲亚轻轻将他一推，说道：“中国小孩，就会说话骗人，哄人欢喜，没用，拍……拍牛屁，吹马皮。” 韦小宝听她把“拍马屁、吹牛皮”说成了相反，不由得哈哈大笑，随即见她脸有鄙夷之色，显是瞧不起自己，暗暗恼怒，寻思：“有甚么法子让她做女沙皇？武则天那女皇帝不知是怎么做成的？咱们不妨在罗刹国也来个印板，就可惜离北京太远，没法子问小皇帝或是索大哥。”韦小宝的学问，一是来自听说书，二是来自看戏，自从做了大官之后，说书是不大听了，戏却看了不少，但武则天怎生做上了女皇帝，这故事偏偏没听过、看过。 他眼望窗外，怔怔的出神，心中闪过许多说书和戏文中的故事：“女皇帝不知道，男皇帝是怎么做成的？朱元璋是打出来的天下，手下有大将徐达、常遇春、胡大海、沐英……”这是评话“大明英烈传”中的故事；又想：“李自成带兵打到北京，我师父的爸爸崇祯皇帝就上吊死了，李自成自己做了皇帝。清兵打走李自成，顺治老皇爷就做上了皇帝。吴三桂想做皇帝，就得起兵造反。看来不论是谁要做皇帝，都得带了兵大战一场，只杀得沙尘滚滚，血流成河，尸骨如山。”一想到打仗，登时便觉害怕。又想：“我们给关在这里，又有甚么兵？打甚么仗了？如果不打仗，做不做得成皇帝呢？” 他对中国历史的知识有限之极，只知道不打仗而做皇帝的，只是康熙小皇帝一人，那是老皇爷出家而让位给他的。这法子当然不能学样。再想：看过的许多戏文之中，有一出《斩黄袍》，宋朝皇帝赵匡胤杀了大将郑恩，他妻子起兵为夫报仇。赵匡胤打不过，只好苦苦哀求，脱下黄袍来让她一刀斩为两截，算是皇帝的替身，好让郑夫人出气，皇帝大大出丑。有一出《鹿台恨》，纣王无道，姜太公帮周武王起兵，逼得纣王在鹿台上烧死，周武王做了皇帝。（韦小宝自然不知道，那时候还没有皇帝。）曹操这大白脸奸臣是怎么做了皇帝的呢？有一出戏文，曹操带兵逼死了汉甚么帝，自己就做了皇帝，他手下大将有个张甚么、许甚么，都是很厉害的。（韦小宝记错了，曹操没有做皇帝。）刘备怎么做皇帝的？不知道，一定是关公、张飞、赵云给他打出来的。 总而言之，要做皇帝，非打不行。就算做了皇帝，如果打不过人家，皇帝还是会给人家抢去做，就算不抢去，也会出丑倒霉。说书先生说，“林教头火併王伦”，晁盖要做强盗头子，串通林冲，杀了梁山泊上原来的大头子王伦。可见就算做强盗头子，也是要打。 苏菲亚见他咬牙切齿，捏紧了拳头，虚打作势，笑问：“你干甚么？”韦小宝一怔，从沉思中醒觉过来，说道：“要做皇帝，一定得打。”苏菲亚一呆，问道：“打？跟谁打？”韦小宝道：“自然跟罗刹老婊子打。” 苏菲亚听他说过几次“罗刹老婊子”，不懂“老婊子”三字是甚么意思，正要询问，忽然房门推开，那火枪营队长走进房来，一把抓住韦小宝胸口，叽哩咕噜说了一阵子话，将他抓了出去，又存他屁股上重重踢了一脚。 那队长哈哈大笑，第二脚又向他踢去。韦小宝大怒，忽然纵起，一个筋斗翻了过来，已骑在那队长颈中，正是当日洪教主所授的救命三招之一“狄青降龙”。这一招他并未练熟，倘若用以对付武学高手，差得还远，但这罗刹队长怎会中土武功？韦小宝虽然毛手毛脚的一翻一跃，居然还是得手，双手食指压上他两眼，喝道：“不许动！眼睛，死了！”他不知罗刹话如何说“不许动，否则挖出你的眼珠。”只好说：“眼睛，死了！” 那队长悟性倒还不低，居然懂得，大惊之下，当即不动。韦小宝右手拉扯他右耳，叫道：“走！”便如骑马一样，骑着他走回公主房中，叫道：“关门！火枪，拿。” 苏菲亚又惊又喜，忙关上了门，从队长身边抽出短枪，抵住他背心。韦小宝从他肩头跃下，解下他腰带来绑了双足，再解下他裤带，反绑了他双手。那队长裤带一去，裤子登时跌落，露出光光的下身。苏菲亚和韦小宝哈哈大笑。那队长胀红了脸，咬牙切齿，愤怒之极。 房门轻轻推开，双儿探头进来，问道：“相公，没事吗？”韦小宝招手叫她进来，又关上了房门。双儿见到那队长狼狈的情状，又是好笑，又是奇怪。 苏菲亚问韦小宝：“捉住队长，有甚么用？” 韦小宝捉住这队长，只是出于一时气愤，没想到有甚么用，听苏菲亚问及，灵机一动，说道：“叫他带兵造反。”他不会说罗刹话的“造反”，用中国话说了。又道：“叫他杀沙里扎，杀沙皇，你，做女沙皇。” 苏菲亚不懂中国话“造反”是甚么意思，但“杀沙里扎，杀沙皇，你，做女沙皇”的话却是懂的，一怔之下，随即大喜，向那队长叽哩咕噜的说了起来。 韦小宝听着两人大说罗刹话，不知所云，只见那队长不住摇头，料想他不肯答应，叫道：“他不听话，杀了。”从靴筒中拔出匕首，在那队长左颊上一刮，嗤的一声响，登时刮下了一大片胡子。苏菲亚笑道：“好锋利的短剑。”那队长吓得面如土色，心想：“这小蛮子原来有把短剑藏在皮靴里，真是古怪，当时没搜了出来。” 苏菲亚问他：“到底肯不肯投降？拥我为女沙皇？” 那队长道：“不是我不肯拥戴公主，我部下决计不会听令的。莫斯科有二十营火枪队，我们只有一营，就算造反，也打不过其余的十九营。” 苏菲亚一听，这话倒也有理，但要对韦小宝解释，一时却也说不明白，只得大打手势，说到二十营火枪队时，十根手指不够用，只好除下鞋子，连十根脚趾也用上了，这才凑足二十营之数。 韦小宝好容易明白了，心想这件事倒好生为难，坐在椅上，苦苦思索：“这队长不肯造反，杀了他也是无用。”对苏菲亚道：“队长不肯，叫副队长来造反。”苏菲亚道：“副队长？”韦小宝道：“对，叫副队长来。” 苏菲亚把队长推到门边，用火枪指住他后心，说道：“叫副队长来！你如警告了他，我立刻就开枪。”那队长无奈，只得大声呼喝，叫副队长进来。 过了一会，副队长推门进来。双儿早已躲在门后，副队长一进门，双儿伸指在他背心戳了几下，登时点中了他穴道，动弹不得。双儿喜道：“相公，外国鬼子的穴道倒是一样的，我还怕鬼子的穴道不同。” 韦小宝笑道：“外国鬼子一样的有眼睛，有鼻子，有手有脚，自然也有穴道。”从副队长腰间拔出佩刀，对苏菲亚道：“你叫他，杀队长造反，他不肯，叫小队长来杀他。” 苏菲亚心想此计甚妙，对副队长道：“你杀了队长，带领火枪营，做队长，听我命令。你不肯杀队长，我叫小队长来杀了你和队长，由小队长做队长。你杀不杀？” 韦小宝道：“双儿，你解开他身上穴道，腿上的穴道可解不得。” 双儿依言解了他上身穴道，将佩刀交在他手里。 苏菲亚又问了一次。那队长破口大骂，连声恐吓。副队长平时和队长素有嫌隙，要他起兵造反，本是不敢，但听队长骂得恶毒，又想：“我若不杀你，那第一小队的小队长想做队长，也必杀你，反而连我也杀了。”当即提起佩刀，擦的一刀，砍下了那队长的脑袋。 这一刀砍下，苏菲亚、韦小宝、双儿三人齐声叫好。不过苏菲亚叫的是罗刹话“赫拉笑！”韦小宝和双儿叫的自然是中国话了。 苏菲亚拉住了副队长的手，连声称赞他英勇忠义，立即升他为火枪营队长，说道：“你坐下，咱们仔细商量。” 副队长皱起了眉头，指着韦小宝和双儿道：“这两个外国小孩子，使了魔术，我下身动不了。”苏菲亚对韦小宝道：“请你，魔法，去了！” 双儿微微一笑，解开了副队长下身穴道。 苏菲亚吩咐副队长：“你去传三个小队的小队长和副小队长进来，我要中国小孩子使魔法，每个人手动脚不动。”又跟韦小宝和双儿说了。 副队长应命而去。过不多时，六名正副小队长排队站在门外。副队长一个个叫进房来，双儿逐个点了六人腰间的“志舍穴”和大腿的“环跳穴”。 苏菲亚道：“副队长决心拥我为女沙皇，我们要出兵去杀了沙里扎，你们服不服从？” 六名正副小队长眼见队长尸横就地，早知大事不妙，听苏菲亚这么说，更是心惊肉跳，面面相觑，谁也不敢开口。 韦小宝心想：“满清来中国抢江山，鞑子兵搞'扬州十日'，杀人放火，奸淫掳掠，老皇爷就此做成了皇帝。他妈的，我叫他们搞'莫斯科十日'，搞得天下大乱，越乱越好。和尚打伞，无法无天！若不如此，怎抢得到皇帝做？”对苏菲亚道：“你叫大家进莫斯科城打仗，杀人、放火，答应他们做将军大官，有很多很多金子银子，大家抢美女做老婆！” 苏菲亚一想不错，对副队长道：“你去召集全体火枪手。我来跟他们说话。”
六百多名火枪手集合在猎宫广场。副队长派了十二名火枪手进来，将给点了穴道的六名正副小队长抬到广场。 苏菲亚站在阶石上，大声说道：“火枪手们，你们都是罗刹国的勇士，为国家立过很大功劳。可是你们的饷银太少了，你们没有美丽的女人，没有钱花，酒也喝不够，住的屋子太小，太不舒服。莫斯科城里有很多有钱人，他们有好大的屋子，有很多仆人，有很多美丽的女人，你们没有。这公平不公平啊？” 众火枪手一听，齐声叫道：“不公平！不公平！” 苏菲亚道：“那些有钱人又肥又蠢，吃得好像一头头肥猪，如果跟你们比武，打得过你们么？这些富翁的枪法难道胜过了你们？他们的刀法难道胜过了你们？他们为国家、为沙皇立过功劳么？”她问一句，众火枪手就大声回答：“年特！” 韦小宝只听众人一声“年特”又是一声“年特”，他知道在罗刹话中，这是“不”的意思，他不懂苏菲亚的话，还道公主劝火枪手造反，大家不肯听从，不禁担忧。 苏菲亚又道：“你们都应当做将军，做富翁！你们个个应当升官发财。”众火枪手大声欢呼。有的问道：“苏菲亚公主，你有甚么法子让我们升官发财？”苏菲亚道：“你们想不想做将军？”众火枪手叫道：“要做啊。”苏菲亚道：“你们想不想有很多很多钱？”众火枪手道：“当然要啊！”苏菲亚又问：“你们想不想美丽的女人？”众火枪手都轰笑起来，叫道：“要！要！要！” 苏菲亚道：“好！你们大家去莫斯科城里，跟其他十九营的火枪手说，是我苏菲亚公主下的命令，我是女沙皇，全罗刹国都听我的话。我准许你们，每一个火枪手，可以挑一家有钱人家，跟那个肥猪大富翁比武，谁杀得了他，那个富翁的大房子，他的金子银子，他的美丽女人、马车、骏马、衣服、仆人、婢女、美酒，甚么都是这个勇敢火枪手的。你们有没有勇气？是不是男子汉，大丈夫？敢不敢去杀人、抢钱、抢女人？” 众火枪手齐声大叫：“敢，敢，敢！杀人、抢钱、抢女人，有甚么不敢？” 苏菲亚大喜，叫道：“那好得很，我还怕你们是胆小鬼，不敢去干大事！快拿伏特加酒来！喂，你们到地窖里去，把最好的伏特加酒都拿来。” 这沙皇猎宫的地窖之中，藏有数十年的陈酒，名贵之极，原是专供沙皇、皇后、公主、皇子以及王公大臣享用，这些火枪手本来哪能尝上一口？苏菲亚这命令一下，众兵士轰然大乐，登时便有数十人奔去取酒。 片刻间，众兵在广场之上，将一瓶瓶伏特加酒敲去瓶颈，抢了痛饮，欢声大叫：“苏菲亚，女沙皇，乌拉，乌拉，乌拉！苏菲亚，女沙皇，乌拉，乌拉，乌拉！” 罗刹话中，“乌拉”即是“万岁”之意，韦小宝虽然不懂，但见众兵欢呼畅饮，不住大叫“苏菲亚，女沙皇，乌拉”，料想是热诚拥戴。他拉拉苏菲亚的衣袖，说道：“叫他们，十二个小队长，杀了，不会退回来。” 苏菲亚连连点头，朗声叫道：“罗刹国英俊强壮的勇士们，大家听了：我吩咐你们去杀富翁，抢钱、抢女人，可是沙里扎不许，派了这些坏蛋来，要治你们的罪！”说着向六名正副小队长一指。 当下便有十余名火枪手抽出佩刀，大叫：“杀了坏蛋！”十几把长刀砍将下来，立时将六名正副小队长砍死。罗刹人本来暴烈粗野，喝了伏特加酒后，全身发烧，眼见得六名小队长血肉横飞，更是不可抑制，大叫：“杀坏蛋去，抢钱、抢女人去！” 苏菲亚道：“你们去向莫斯科城中十九营的火枪手说，大家一起干，哪一个队长不许，立刻杀了。哪一个贵族、将军、大臣不许，立刻杀了，把他家里的金子银子、美丽的妻子女儿，通统拿来分了。那些坏蛋的房子，放火烧了。” 众兵大声欢呼，纷纷抽出长刀，背负火枪，牵过坐骑，翻身上马。过了一会，便听得蹄声急促，群向莫斯科城奔去。 苏菲亚对副队长道：“你也去抢啊，有甚么客气？最要紧的，不可跟别的火枪营冲突，大家一起抢。你带人冲进克里姆林宫，把沙里扎和彼得捉了起来。宫里的金银珠宝，美丽宫女，叫大家尽量抢好了，都是我赐给你们的。”副队长大喜，应命上马而去。 苏菲亚叹了口气，只觉全身无力，坐倒在阶石上，说道：“好累！”韦小宝道：“我扶你进去歇歇。”苏菲亚摇摇头，过了一会，说道：“咱们上碉楼去瞧瞧。” 这猎宫全以粗麻石砌成，碉楼高逾八九丈，原为瞭望敌情之用。罗刹国立国之前，本是莫斯科的一个大公国，莫斯科大公爵翦平群雄，自立为沙皇。前朝沙皇生怕在出猎之时仇敌乘机偷袭，因此在莫斯科城外造了这座猎宫，以备仓卒遇敌之时守御待援。 苏菲亚带了韦小宝和双儿登上碉楼，向西望去，隐隐见到莫斯科城中灯火点点，黑夜之中，十分宁静。苏菲亚担忧起来，说道：“怎么不打？他们，怕了？”韦小宝不明罗刹兵的性格，不知会不会上阵退缩，只得安慰她道：“不怕，不怕。”苏菲亚又问：“你怎知道叫兵士杀人、抢钱、抢女人，就可以，杀沙里扎，杀彼得？” 韦小宝微笑道：“中国人，向来这样。”他想到了当年在扬州城中，听得老年人所说满清兵攻城的情形。 清兵入关之后，在江苏等地遇到汉人猛烈抵抗，扬州尤其坚守不下。清军将帅就允许士兵破城之后，可以奸淫掳掠，一共十天。这“扬州十日”，实是惨酷无比。韦小宝自幼生长扬州，清兵如何攻城不克，主帅如何允许部卒抢钱抢女人，清兵如何奋勇进攻，这些故事从小听得多了。后来在北京，又听人说起当年李自成的部下如何在北京城里抢钱抢女人，张献忠又如何总是先答应部下，城破之后，大抢三天。看来要造反成功，便须搞得天下大乱，要天下大乱，便须让兵士抢钱抢女人。因此眼见火枪营士兵不敢造反，他自然而然的将“抢钱抢女人”五字真言说了出来。果然罗刹兵和中国兵一般无异，这五字秘诀，应验如神。 等了良久，黑暗中忽见莫斯科城里升起一团火焰。 苏菲亚大喜，叫道：“动手了！”搂住韦小宝又吻又跳。 韦小宝喜道：“他们放火了，这就行啦。杀人放火，定要连在一起干的。” 过不多时，但见莫斯科城中火头四起，东边一股黑烟，西边一片火光。苏菲亚拍手大叫：“大家在杀人放火了。小宝，你真正聪明，想的计策真妙。” 韦小宝微微一笑，心想：“说到杀人放火，造反作乱，我们中国人的本事，比你们罗刹鬼子可大上一百倍了。这些计策有甚么稀奇？我们向来就是这样的。” 苏菲亚道：“你叫大家杀了正队长，杀了小队长，大家只好一直干下去了，再想回头也不行了。小孩子，真聪明，中国大官，了不起。”韦小宝道：“这叫做投名状。”苏菲亚道：“甚么，丢命上？”韦小宝哈哈大笑，说道：“是，丢了性命，拚命上啊。”心中暗骂罗刹人没学问。 中国人绿林为盗，入伙之时，盗魁必命新兄弟去做件案子，杀一个人。这人犯了杀人大罪之后，从此不会去出首告密。中林冲上梁山泊入伙，王伦叫他去杀人做案，缴一个“投名状”。韦小宝听说书听得多了，熟知这门规矩，心想：“我们中国人的法子，罗刹鬼子一窍也不通，看来这些罗刹人虽然凶狠横蛮，倒也不难对付。” 苏菲亚眼见莫斯科城中火头越来越旺，四处蔓延，又担忧起来，不知火枪营官兵乱抢乱杀之后，变成
The emperor of the Rakshasa Kingdom is called the Tsar. He is twenty years old this year, and his name is Theoto III. Sophia is his sister.The Theoto III was born with a disability, limited mobility, and often dealt with rulings on his couch for state affairs. Rakshasa customs are very different from the Chinese state of etiquette and righteousness, and the defense between men and women has always been casual.Sophia is indulgent by nature and beautiful, and many princes and generals in the court are her lovers.Governor Gao Lijin is handsome and suave, and he is very popular with the princess.He was sent to the east to build cities in Nerchinsk and Yaksa in an attempt to enter China's Mongolia, Liaodong and other places.Where Yaksa City is located is the treasure trove of the Eight Banners of Manchuria.Manchurians and Rakshasa people chose this place as the hub where two great rivers converge.The princess is active and playful by nature. She heard that the East is mysterious and weird, and she misses her lover, so she chased her all the way from Moscow. Although Sophia liked Gao Lijin, she never dreamed of being loyal and single-minded.Today, I found a tunnel in Gao Lijin's bedroom, so I went down to investigate out of curiosity.This tunnel leads to the outside of Yaksa city and communicates with the sentry post. It was originally used by the governor to escape in case of changes in the city.Seeing the guard, Sophia made teasing words, and got up wildly with him.At this time, she heard Wei Xiaobao said that she would go to Moscow with her, and thought it was interesting, so she took him and Shuang'er along. Sophia was escorted by a team of 200 Cossack soldiers, sometimes on horses and sometimes on sledges, heading west day by day in the boundless snowfield. After doing this for more than 20 days, he was already far away from the city of Yaksa, and Hong Jiaozhu would never pursue him again. When Wei Xiaobao asked that it was still more than four months before he went to Moscow, he couldn't help being surprised, and said: "Isn't that the end of the sky? After walking for more than four months, the Chinese child will become a foreigner." Sophia said: "Then do you want to go back to Beijing? Are you tired of watching me?" Wei Xiaobao said: "The beautiful princess just looks at it for a thousand years, Ten thousand years, I will never get tired of watching it. But after going so far, I am afraid." Sophia spent the past twenty days talking to him to relieve boredom and learned a lot of Chinese.Wei Xiaobao is clever and quick, and has learned a lot of Rakshasa dialect.The journey of the two was lonely, one was not a virgin, and the other was not a gentleman; one could neither guard herself like a jade, and the other refused to sit still, so it was inevitable that some dewy marriages would form.At this time, Sophia heard that he was going back to Beijing, so she couldn't help feeling a little bit reluctant, and said, "I don't allow you to go. You send me to Moscow, stay with me for a year, and then let you go back." Wei Xiaobao secretly groaned, after getting along these days, he knew that the princess had a resolute character, if she didn't listen to her and insisted on leaving, she would probably order the Cossack soldiers to kill him, he was all smiles and even said he was very happy. In the evening, I quietly went to discuss with Shuang'er whether there was a chance to escape.Shuang'er said: "What should my husband do, I will follow your orders." Wei Xiaobao looked at the vast snow field, sighed, and shook his head, knowing that if the two of them escaped, if they didn't bring enough food, even if Sophia didn't send someone If you come to chase them, you will have to freeze to death and starve to death in this snowfield.In the past, in the forest and snowfield of Liaodong, although it was remote and cold, one could still hunt and forage, but now there were very few birds. Sometimes, after walking for a whole day, there was no trace of a single wild animal in the snow, let alone a sika deer. up.In desperation, he had to go west with Sophia. At the beginning, Wei Xiaobao still wondered what happened to the little emperor, whether Wu Sangui rebelled, whether the beautiful girl A Ke was in Kunming, and where Hong Jiaozhu and Fang Yi were.After walking in the big snowfield for more than a month, I didn't even think about these thoughts. In this icy and snowy place, my brain seemed to be frozen.Fortunately, he is cheerful and carefree by nature, sometimes he tells nonsensical Rakshasa jokes with Sophia, and sometimes tells nonsense stories to Shuang'er, but he is not lonely either. The day finally came outside Moscow.It was already April, and the climate was getting warmer, and the ice and snow had melted.
However, although the walls of Moscow City are strong and huge, they are very rough built. Looking at the houses in the city from a distance, they are also dirty and simple. Not to mention it cannot be compared with Beijing and Yangzhou, and it is far inferior to the small and medium-sized cities in the middle of the country. .The cathedral with only a few domed towers is still magnificent.When Wei Xiaobao saw it, he immediately looked down on the Raksha Kingdom: "Fucking Raksha Country, what's so great? Bring it to China, where cattle and pigs are raised. Thanks to this princess, she boasted about the prosperity of Moscow along the way." When it was tens of miles away from Moscow, the princess's guards flew into the city to report.Only the sound of horns was heard, and a group of Musketeers rode out from the city.Raksha people like to invade and merge, so the country is vast, stretching tens of thousands of miles from east to west, and the races are complex.One of the country's elite troops is the Cossack cavalry, who fought east and west, conquering cities and looting land, and subduing the people of all nationalities; The musketeers galloped closer, and Sophia was startled. She saw that all the officers and soldiers had black feathers on their heads, and strips of black cloth hung from the muskets, which was a sign of a state-owned funeral. asked, "What happened?" The captain of the Musketeer Battalion got off his horse, stepped forward and bowed, and said, "Princess Qi: Your Majesty has been summoned by God, and has left the country and people, and gone to heaven." Sophia was so sad that she shed tears and asked, "What is that?" When did it happen?" The captain said: "If the princess arrives four days earlier, she can bid farewell to the emperor." Although Sophia knew that the tsar brothers were weak and their lives would not last long, she was still overwhelmed by the news of the terrible news. Feeling sad, he fell on the saddle and burst into tears. Seeing the princess burst into tears, Wei Xiaobao asked for an interpreter, only to find out that the emperor of the Raksha Kingdom had died, and he was overjoyed: "The emperor of the Raksha Kingdom will not enjoy the blessings, there will always be chaos in the country, and he will send troops to fight against China. It's not that easy." Sophia and her party followed the captain into the city and were about to enter the palace.The captain said: "The empress dowager ordered the princess to go to the hunting palace outside the city to rest." Sophia was startled and angry, and shouted: "What empress dowager? That empress dowager can control me?" The captain waved his left hand and fired. The gunmen raised their muskets, confronted the guards accompanying the princess, handed over their swords and guns, and ordered the guards to dismount. The princess asked angrily: "Do you want to rebel?" The captain said: "The empress dowager is afraid that the princess will not obey the new emperor's edict after returning to Beijing, so she ordered the young general to protect the princess." Sophia blushed and said angrily: "New The emperor? Who is the new emperor?" The captain said: "The new emperor is His Majesty Peter I." Sophia laughed and said, "Peter? Peter is a ten-year-old boy. What kind of czar would he be? What are you talking about?" Empress Dowager, is Natalya?" The captain said, "Exactly." Sophia's father, Tsar Alexios Mikhailovich, married two queens.The first empress had many children. Both the former emperor Theoto III and Princess Sophia were born to her, and the youngest son was named Ivan.The second queen, Natalia, was much younger and had only one son, Peter. Sophia said: "You lead me into the palace, I'll see Natalya to comment on the truth. My brother Ivan is older than Peter, why didn't he make him the tsar? What happened to the ministers in the court? Are you being unreasonable? ?” The captain said: "The young general only obeys the orders of the empress dowager and the tsar, please don't be offended by the princess." He pulled the reins of Sophia's horse, turned and headed east. Sophia was furious. In her whole life, who would have dared to be so rude to her, picked up the whip, and whipped it on the head of the captain.The captain smiled slightly, dodged it, got on his horse, led the team, embraced the princess, and sent them, together with Wei Xiaobao and Shuang'er, to the hunting palace outside the city.The Musketeers deployed guards outside the palace, and no one was allowed to come out. Princess Sophia was furious and smashed the furniture in the bedroom to pieces.The cook of the Hunting Palace brought drinks and food on time, but Sophia also threw them face to face. After several days like this, seeing that the defense outside the Hunting Palace was not relaxed at all, Sophia called the captain and asked him how long he was going to lock himself up.The captain said: "The empress dowager ordered the princess to rest here. When Her Majesty Peter I celebrates the fiftieth anniversary of his enthronement, let the princess go out to participate in the celebration." Sophia was furious and said, "What are you talking about? Peter celebrated his enthronement The fiftieth anniversary, don't you want to lock me up here for fifty years?" The captain smiled and said, "The young general is forty years old this year, and I believe he can't serve the princess for another fifty years. After ten or fifteen years, there will be A younger captain will take over." Sophia shuddered at the thought of being imprisoned here for fifty years, and forced a smile, "Come here, captain, I see you are quite handsome." Wanting to seduce the captain with her beauty, let the captain bow down under the pomegranate skirt, Hu Li let himself out in a daze. The captain bowed deeply, took a step back, and said, "Princess, please forgive me. The Empress Dowager has a decree: If anyone among the officers and soldiers of the Musket Battalion touches a finger of the princess, he will be beheaded immediately. Kill him." The captain and the vice-captain will be promoted; if the vice-captain is killed, the squad leader of the first team will be promoted. Everyone wants to be promoted, so watch closely." It turns out that the empress dowager knew that Sophia was beautiful and romantic. I'm afraid I won't be able to lock her up. After the captain withdrew, Sophia had no choice but to lie on the bed and cry bitterly, cursing the empress dowager endlessly.
Wei Xiaobao was imprisoned in the hunting palace for many days. Seeing that the princess only lost her temper every day, and the musketeers guarding her were also very rude, she thought that the devil's place was really ghostly, so he discussed it with Shuang'er several times. I always feel that it is possible to escape from the Hunting Palace, but it is even more difficult to go back to Middle Earth.If there is no one to guide you, you will definitely get lost in the prairie.Not to mention that it took four or five months to get back to Beijing by car and horseback. Most likely, after only four or five days, I was already dizzy and couldn't distinguish east, west, north, south.The two of them had nothing to do, Wei Xiaobao had no choice but to talk all kinds of nonsense, to make both children smile and chat to ease their feelings. Today, it is said that Tang Seng took Monkey King, Monk Sha, and Zhu Bajie to the West to learn scriptures.Wei Xiaobao said: "I'll bet you that Tang Seng's journey to the west must not be as far as Moscow. So, I'm better than Tang Seng. If you don't believe me, why should I bet with you?" Shuang'er was not interested in gambling, and said: "Mr. If you're better than Tang Seng, you're better than Tang Seng, I won't bet with you. I'm not as good as Zhu Bajie." He pursed his lips and smiled.Suddenly, in the princess's room over there, there was another sound of falling objects, beating the bed, stamping feet, and crying. Wei Xiaobao sighed, and said: "I'll try to persuade you, what's the use of crying all the time?" Walking into the princess room, he said: "Princess, don't cry, I'll tell you a joke." Sophia Lie face down on the bed, kicking her feet back and forth, crying, "I won't listen, I won't listen. I want Sariza to go to hell, and Sarizana Daria to go to hell." Wei Xiaobao didn't understand what "Sariza" meant, but when he asked that it was the "tsar's mother", he was overjoyed and said, "I don't know what kind of villain Sariza is. It turns out to be the empress dowager. Let me tell you, China's Shaliza Zha, called an old bitch, is also a big villain, and then I thought of a way to drive her out of the palace. The emperor was very happy, and made me a high official in China." Sophia was overjoyed, turning over and sitting up, Asked: "What method do you use?" Wei Xiaobao thought to himself: "I chased away the old bitch because she is a fake queen mother. You old Rakshasa bitch, but you are a real Sariza, so my method will not work." He said: "My method is collusion Take the little emperor, deal with the Chinese Sariza." Sophia frowned and said, "Peter loves his mother very much, and he will not listen to my words to oppose Shaliza. Unless...unless..." Shaking her head, she got up from the bed, walked around on the carpet with bare feet, He gritted his teeth and thought. Wei Xiaobao said: "There used to be a female emperor in China, named Wu Zetian. This female emperor married many male queens and male wives, and she was very happy. My princess, I think you are similar to her. Why don't you become the female czar yourself? .” Sophia's heart moved, she had never thought about this matter, there had never been a female czar in the Raksha Kingdom, and she always believed that women could not be czars.Since China has a female emperor, why can't the Raksha Kingdom have a female tsar? 她自被囚在猎宫中之后，惊惧愤怒，脑中所不停盘旋的，只是如何逃出宫去，就算再到东方雅克萨，去跟高里津总督在一起，也比给皇太后监禁着好得多，这时忽然听到韦小宝说起“女沙皇”，眼前陡然间出现了一个新天地。她转过身来，眼中放出光彩，双手按住韦小宝肩头，在他左颊上轻轻一吻，微笑道：“我如做了女沙皇，就封你为皇后。” 韦小宝吓了一跳，心想：“这可万万使不得。”忙道：“我，中国人，做不得罗刹国男皇后，你封我做大官罢。” 苏菲亚道：“你又做皇后，又做大官。”韦小宝心想：“眼前不知性命是不是能保，却在穷快活，又封我做皇后，又做大官。”苏菲亚道：“你快给我想个法子，怎么让我做女沙皇。” 韦小宝皱起眉头，说到军国大事，他的见识实在平庸得很，和康熙固然天差地远，也远远及不上陈近南、索额图、吴三桂等人，说道：“公主，这种事难得很，我可不会想了。我即刻回去北京，请问我们的小皇帝，让他给出个主意，然后我带一批大本事的人回来，捉住那沙里扎罗刹老婊子，又捉住彼得小沙皇，这就大功告成了。”他说到“大功告成”四字，忍不住搂住苏菲亚，吻了她一下。 苏菲亚“唔”了一声，说道：“不成，不成！你回去北京，再来莫斯科，一年也不够，我，已经死了，上天堂了。”韦小宝心想这话倒也不错，叹了口气，说道：“美丽公主，上天堂，中国小孩子大官，也跟着上天堂了。”苏菲亚轻轻将他一推，说道：“中国小孩，就会说话骗人，哄人欢喜，没用，拍……拍牛屁，吹马皮。” 韦小宝听她把“拍马屁、吹牛皮”说成了相反，不由得哈哈大笑，随即见她脸有鄙夷之色，显是瞧不起自己，暗暗恼怒，寻思：“有甚么法子让她做女沙皇？武则天那女皇帝不知是怎么做成的？咱们不妨在罗刹国也来个印板，就可惜离北京太远，没法子问小皇帝或是索大哥。”韦小宝的学问，一是来自听说书，二是来自看戏，自从做了大官之后，说书是不大听了，戏却看了不少，但武则天怎生做上了女皇帝，这故事偏偏没听过、看过。 他眼望窗外，怔怔的出神，心中闪过许多说书和戏文中的故事：“女皇帝不知道，男皇帝是怎么做成的？朱元璋是打出来的天下，手下有大将徐达、常遇春、胡大海、沐英……”这是评话“大明英烈传”中的故事；又想：“李自成带兵打到北京，我师父的爸爸崇祯皇帝就上吊死了，李自成自己做了皇帝。清兵打走李自成，顺治老皇爷就做上了皇帝。吴三桂想做皇帝，就得起兵造反。看来不论是谁要做皇帝，都得带了兵大战一场，只杀得沙尘滚滚，血流成河，尸骨如山。”一想到打仗，登时便觉害怕。又想：“我们给关在这里，又有甚么兵？打甚么仗了？如果不打仗，做不做得成皇帝呢？” 他对中国历史的知识有限之极，只知道不打仗而做皇帝的，只是康熙小皇帝一人，那是老皇爷出家而让位给他的。这法子当然不能学样。再想：看过的许多戏文之中，有一出《斩黄袍》，宋朝皇帝赵匡胤杀了大将郑恩，他妻子起兵为夫报仇。赵匡胤打不过，只好苦苦哀求，脱下黄袍来让她一刀斩为两截，算是皇帝的替身，好让郑夫人出气，皇帝大大出丑。有一出《鹿台恨》，纣王无道，姜太公帮周武王起兵，逼得纣王在鹿台上烧死，周武王做了皇帝。（韦小宝自然不知道，那时候还没有皇帝。）曹操这大白脸奸臣是怎么做了皇帝的呢？有一出戏文，曹操带兵逼死了汉甚么帝，自己就做了皇帝，他手下大将有个张甚么、许甚么，都是很厉害的。（韦小宝记错了，曹操没有做皇帝。）刘备怎么做皇帝的？不知道，一定是关公、张飞、赵云给他打出来的。 总而言之，要做皇帝，非打不行。就算做了皇帝，如果打不过人家，皇帝还是会给人家抢去做，就算不抢去，也会出丑倒霉。说书先生说，“林教头火併王伦”，晁盖要做强盗头子，串通林冲，杀了梁山泊上原来的大头子王伦。可见就算做强盗头子，也是要打。 苏菲亚见他咬牙切齿，捏紧了拳头，虚打作势，笑问：“你干甚么？”韦小宝一怔，从沉思中醒觉过来，说道：“要做皇帝，一定得打。”苏菲亚一呆，问道：“打？跟谁打？”韦小宝道：“自然跟罗刹老婊子打。” 苏菲亚听他说过几次“罗刹老婊子”，不懂“老婊子”三字是甚么意思，正要询问，忽然房门推开，那火枪营队长走进房来，一把抓住韦小宝胸口，叽哩咕噜说了一阵子话，将他抓了出去，又存他屁股上重重踢了一脚。 那队长哈哈大笑，第二脚又向他踢去。韦小宝大怒，忽然纵起，一个筋斗翻了过来，已骑在那队长颈中，正是当日洪教主所授的救命三招之一“狄青降龙”。这一招他并未练熟，倘若用以对付武学高手，差得还远，但这罗刹队长怎会中土武功？韦小宝虽然毛手毛脚的一翻一跃，居然还是得手，双手食指压上他两眼，喝道：“不许动！眼睛，死了！”他不知罗刹话如何说“不许动，否则挖出你的眼珠。”只好说：“眼睛，死了！” 那队长悟性倒还不低，居然懂得，大惊之下，当即不动。韦小宝右手拉扯他右耳，叫道：“走！”便如骑马一样，骑着他走回公主房中，叫道：“关门！火枪，拿。” 苏菲亚又惊又喜，忙关上了门，从队长身边抽出短枪，抵住他背心。韦小宝从他肩头跃下，解下他腰带来绑了双足，再解下他裤带，反绑了他双手。那队长裤带一去，裤子登时跌落，露出光光的下身。苏菲亚和韦小宝哈哈大笑。那队长胀红了脸，咬牙切齿，愤怒之极。 房门轻轻推开，双儿探头进来，问道：“相公，没事吗？”韦小宝招手叫她进来，又关上了房门。双儿见到那队长狼狈的情状，又是好笑，又是奇怪。 苏菲亚问韦小宝：“捉住队长，有甚么用？” 韦小宝捉住这队长，只是出于一时气愤，没想到有甚么用，听苏菲亚问及，灵机一动，说道：“叫他带兵造反。”他不会说罗刹话的“造反”，用中国话说了。又道：“叫他杀沙里扎，杀沙皇，你，做女沙皇。” 苏菲亚不懂中国话“造反”是甚么意思，但“杀沙里扎，杀沙皇，你，做女沙皇”的话却是懂的，一怔之下，随即大喜，向那队长叽哩咕噜的说了起来。 韦小宝听着两人大说罗刹话，不知所云，只见那队长不住摇头，料想他不肯答应，叫道：“他不听话，杀了。”从靴筒中拔出匕首，在那队长左颊上一刮，嗤的一声响，登时刮下了一大片胡子。苏菲亚笑道：“好锋利的短剑。”那队长吓得面如土色，心想：“这小蛮子原来有把短剑藏在皮靴里，真是古怪，当时没搜了出来。” 苏菲亚问他：“到底肯不肯投降？拥我为女沙皇？” 那队长道：“不是我不肯拥戴公主，我部下决计不会听令的。莫斯科有二十营火枪队，我们只有一营，就算造反，也打不过其余的十九营。” 苏菲亚一听，这话倒也有理，但要对韦小宝解释，一时却也说不明白，只得大打手势，说到二十营火枪队时，十根手指不够用，只好除下鞋子，连十根脚趾也用上了，这才凑足二十营之数。 韦小宝好容易明白了，心想这件事倒好生为难，坐在椅上，苦苦思索：“这队长不肯造反，杀了他也是无用。”对苏菲亚道：“队长不肯，叫副队长来造反。”苏菲亚道：“副队长？”韦小宝道：“对，叫副队长来。” 苏菲亚把队长推到门边，用火枪指住他后心，说道：“叫副队长来！你如警告了他，我立刻就开枪。”那队长无奈，只得大声呼喝，叫副队长进来。 过了一会，副队长推门进来。双儿早已躲在门后，副队长一进门，双儿伸指在他背心戳了几下，登时点中了他穴道，动弹不得。双儿喜道：“相公，外国鬼子的穴道倒是一样的，我还怕鬼子的穴道不同。” 韦小宝笑道：“外国鬼子一样的有眼睛，有鼻子，有手有脚，自然也有穴道。”从副队长腰间拔出佩刀，对苏菲亚道：“你叫他，杀队长造反，他不肯，叫小队长来杀他。” 苏菲亚心想此计甚妙，对副队长道：“你杀了队长，带领火枪营，做队长，听我命令。你不肯杀队长，我叫小队长来杀了你和队长，由小队长做队长。你杀不杀？” 韦小宝道：“双儿，你解开他身上穴道，腿上的穴道可解不得。” 双儿依言解了他上身穴道，将佩刀交在他手里。 苏菲亚又问了一次。那队长破口大骂，连声恐吓。副队长平时和队长素有嫌隙，要他起兵造反，本是不敢，但听队长骂得恶毒，又想：“我若不杀你，那第一小队的小队长想做队长，也必杀你，反而连我也杀了。”当即提起佩刀，擦的一刀，砍下了那队长的脑袋。 这一刀砍下，苏菲亚、韦小宝、双儿三人齐声叫好。不过苏菲亚叫的是罗刹话“赫拉笑！”韦小宝和双儿叫的自然是中国话了。 苏菲亚拉住了副队长的手，连声称赞他英勇忠义，立即升他为火枪营队长，说道：“你坐下，咱们仔细商量。” 副队长皱起了眉头，指着韦小宝和双儿道：“这两个外国小孩子，使了魔术，我下身动不了。”苏菲亚对韦小宝道：“请你，魔法，去了！” 双儿微微一笑，解开了副队长下身穴道。 苏菲亚吩咐副队长：“你去传三个小队的小队长和副小队长进来，我要中国小孩子使魔法，每个人手动脚不动。”又跟韦小宝和双儿说了。 副队长应命而去。过不多时，六名正副小队长排队站在门外。副队长一个个叫进房来，双儿逐个点了六人腰间的“志舍穴”和大腿的“环跳穴”。 苏菲亚道：“副队长决心拥我为女沙皇，我们要出兵去杀了沙里扎，你们服不服从？” 六名正副小队长眼见队长尸横就地，早知大事不妙，听苏菲亚这么说，更是心惊肉跳，面面相觑，谁也不敢开口。 韦小宝心想：“满清来中国抢江山，鞑子兵搞'扬州十日'，杀人放火，奸淫掳掠，老皇爷就此做成了皇帝。他妈的，我叫他们搞'莫斯科十日'，搞得天下大乱，越乱越好。和尚打伞，无法无天！若不如此，怎抢得到皇帝做？”对苏菲亚道：“你叫大家进莫斯科城打仗，杀人、放火，答应他们做将军大官，有很多很多金子银子，大家抢美女做老婆！” 苏菲亚一想不错，对副队长道：“你去召集全体火枪手。我来跟他们说话。”
六百多名火枪手集合在猎宫广场。副队长派了十二名火枪手进来，将给点了穴道的六名正副小队长抬到广场。 苏菲亚站在阶石上，大声说道：“火枪手们，你们都是罗刹国的勇士，为国家立过很大功劳。可是你们的饷银太少了，你们没有美丽的女人，没有钱花，酒也喝不够，住的屋子太小，太不舒服。莫斯科城里有很多有钱人，他们有好大的屋子，有很多仆人，有很多美丽的女人，你们没有。这公平不公平啊？” 众火枪手一听，齐声叫道：“不公平！不公平！” 苏菲亚道：“那些有钱人又肥又蠢，吃得好像一头头肥猪，如果跟你们比武，打得过你们么？这些富翁的枪法难道胜过了你们？他们的刀法难道胜过了你们？他们为国家、为沙皇立过功劳么？”她问一句，众火枪手就大声回答：“年特！” 韦小宝只听众人一声“年特”又是一声“年特”，他知道在罗刹话中，这是“不”的意思，他不懂苏菲亚的话，还道公主劝火枪手造反，大家不肯听从，不禁担忧。 苏菲亚又道：“你们都应当做将军，做富翁！你们个个应当升官发财。”众火枪手大声欢呼。有的问道：“苏菲亚公主，你有甚么法子让我们升官发财？”苏菲亚道：“你们想不想做将军？”众火枪手叫道：“要做啊。”苏菲亚道：“你们想不想有很多很多钱？”众火枪手道：“当然要啊！”苏菲亚又问：“你们想不想美丽的女人？”众火枪手都轰笑起来，叫道：“要！要！要！” 苏菲亚道：“好！你们大家去莫斯科城里，跟其他十九营的火枪手说，是我苏菲亚公主下的命令，我是女沙皇，全罗刹国都听我的话。我准许你们，每一个火枪手，可以挑一家有钱人家，跟那个肥猪大富翁比武，谁杀得了他，那个富翁的大房子，他的金子银子，他的美丽女人、马车、骏马、衣服、仆人、婢女、美酒，甚么都是这个勇敢火枪手的。你们有没有勇气？是不是男子汉，大丈夫？敢不敢去杀人、抢钱、抢女人？” 众火枪手齐声大叫：“敢，敢，敢！杀人、抢钱、抢女人，有甚么不敢？” 苏菲亚大喜，叫道：“那好得很，我还怕你们是胆小鬼，不敢去干大事！快拿伏特加酒来！喂，你们到地窖里去，把最好的伏特加酒都拿来。” 这沙皇猎宫的地窖之中，藏有数十年的陈酒，名贵之极，原是专供沙皇、皇后、公主、皇子以及王公大臣享用，这些火枪手本来哪能尝上一口？苏菲亚这命令一下，众兵士轰然大乐，登时便有数十人奔去取酒。 片刻间，众兵在广场之上，将一瓶瓶伏特加酒敲去瓶颈，抢了痛饮，欢声大叫：“苏菲亚，女沙皇，乌拉，乌拉，乌拉！苏菲亚，女沙皇，乌拉，乌拉，乌拉！” 罗刹话中，“乌拉”即是“万岁”之意，韦小宝虽然不懂，但见众兵欢呼畅饮，不住大叫“苏菲亚，女沙皇，乌拉”，料想是热诚拥戴。他拉拉苏菲亚的衣袖，说道：“叫他们，十二个小队长，杀了，不会退回来。” 苏菲亚连连点头，朗声叫道：“罗刹国英俊强壮的勇士们，大家听了：我吩咐你们去杀富翁，抢钱、抢女人，可是沙里扎不许，派了这些坏蛋来，要治你们的罪！”说着向六名正副小队长一指。 当下便有十余名火枪手抽出佩刀，大叫：“杀了坏蛋！”十几把长刀砍将下来，立时将六名正副小队长砍死。罗刹人本来暴烈粗野，喝了伏特加酒后，全身发烧，眼见得六名小队长血肉横飞，更是不可抑制，大叫：“杀坏蛋去，抢钱、抢女人去！” 苏菲亚道：“你们去向莫斯科城中十九营的火枪手说，大家一起干，哪一个队长不许，立刻杀了。哪一个贵族、将军、大臣不许，立刻杀了，把他家里的金子银子、美丽的妻子女儿，通统拿来分了。那些坏蛋的房子，放火烧了。” 众兵大声欢呼，纷纷抽出长刀，背负火枪，牵过坐骑，翻身上马。过了一会，便听得蹄声急促，群向莫斯科城奔去。 苏菲亚对副队长道：“你也去抢啊，有甚么客气？最要紧的，不可跟别的火枪营冲突，大家一起抢。你带人冲进克里姆林宫，把沙里扎和彼得捉了起来。宫里的金银珠宝，美丽宫女，叫大家尽量抢好了，都是我赐给你们的。”副队长大喜，应命上马而去。 苏菲亚叹了口气，只觉全身无力，坐倒在阶石上，说道：“好累！”韦小宝道：“我扶你进去歇歇。”苏菲亚摇摇头，过了一会，说道：“咱们上碉楼去瞧瞧。” 这猎宫全以粗麻石砌成，碉楼高逾八九丈，原为瞭望敌情之用。罗刹国立国之前，本是莫斯科的一个大公国，莫斯科大公爵翦平群雄，自立为沙皇。前朝沙皇生怕在出猎之时仇敌乘机偷袭，因此在莫斯科城外造了这座猎宫，以备仓卒遇敌之时守御待援。 苏菲亚带了韦小宝和双儿登上碉楼，向西望去，隐隐见到莫斯科城中灯火点点，黑夜之中，十分宁静。苏菲亚担忧起来，说道：“怎么不打？他们，怕了？”韦小宝不明罗刹兵的性格，不知会不会上阵退缩，只得安慰她道：“不怕，不怕。”苏菲亚又问：“你怎知道叫兵士杀人、抢钱、抢女人，就可以，杀沙里扎，杀彼得？” 韦小宝微笑道：“中国人，向来这样。”他想到了当年在扬州城中，听得老年人所说满清兵攻城的情形。 清兵入关之后，在江苏等地遇到汉人猛烈抵抗，扬州尤其坚守不下。清军将帅就允许士兵破城之后，可以奸淫掳掠，一共十天。这“扬州十日”，实是惨酷无比。韦小宝自幼生长扬州，清兵如何攻城不克，主帅如何允许部卒抢钱抢女人，清兵如何奋勇进攻，这些故事从小听得多了。后来在北京，又听人说起当年李自成的部下如何在北京城里抢钱抢女人，张献忠又如何总是先答应部下，城破之后，大抢三天。看来要造反成功，便须搞得天下大乱，要天下大乱，便须让兵士抢钱抢女人。因此眼见火枪营士兵不敢造反，他自然而然的将“抢钱抢女人”五字真言说了出来。果然罗刹兵和中国兵一般无异，这五字秘诀，应验如神。 等了良久，黑暗中忽见莫斯科城里升起一团火焰。 苏菲亚大喜，叫道：“动手了！”搂住韦小宝又吻又跳。 韦小宝喜道：“他们放火了，这就行啦。杀人放火，定要连在一起干的。” 过不多时，但见莫斯科城中火头四起，东边一股黑烟，西边一片火光。苏菲亚拍手大叫：“大家在杀人放火了。小宝，你真正聪明，想的计策真妙。” 韦小宝微微一笑，心想：“说到杀人放火，造反作乱，我们中国人的本事，比你们罗刹鬼子可大上一百倍了。这些计策有甚么稀奇？我们向来就是这样的。” 苏菲亚道：“你叫大家杀了正队长，杀了小队长，大家只好一直干下去了，再想回头也不行了。小孩子，真聪明，中国大官，了不起。”韦小宝道：“这叫做投名状。”苏菲亚道：“甚么，丢命上？”韦小宝哈哈大笑，说道：“是，丢了性命，拚命上啊。”心中暗骂罗刹人没学问。 中国人绿林为盗，入伙之时，盗魁必命新兄弟去做件案子，杀一个人。这人犯了杀人大罪之后，从此不会去出首告密。中林冲上梁山泊入伙，王伦叫他去杀人做案，缴一个“投名状”。韦小宝听说书听得多了，熟知这门规矩，心想：“我们中国人的法子，罗刹鬼子一窍也不通，看来这些罗刹人虽然凶狠横蛮，倒也不难对付。” 苏菲亚眼见莫斯科城中火头越来越旺，四处蔓延，又担忧起来，不知火枪营官兵乱抢乱杀之后，变成