Chapter 35 Section 7 Travel far to the Pearl River Delta

I came to Shenzhen, and I was deeply fascinated by the beauty and cleanliness of Shenzhen. From the first sight, I fell in love with this city, especially the famous Shennan Avenue.I want to work here, any kind of job is fine, I can be a reporter, or I can do other jobs. In the afternoon, I went to live in a hostel, but found that there was no hostel below 100 yuan, and 100 yuan was a huge sum of money for me. That evening, I was exhausted from running, my mouth was dry, and I sat on the steps. I didn't know where it was, but I saw people coming and going, with bags and bags.I was filled with envy that each of them seemed to be happy, while I was the only one in the whole city who was suffering.The crown is full of Jinghua, and the Sri Lankan is alone and haggard.

Later, I saw a bus station not far away, and I saw a long-distance bus bound for Zhuhai, so I jumped on it. I spent my first night in Zhuhai on the steps of a shop next to the bus station.I spread two newspapers on the floor, just like when I just came out to look for a job and didn’t become a reporter. Maybe after running for a day, I quickly fell asleep without thinking about anything.I live with the situation now and can survive anywhere.As long as I can have a job and be able to live, I am very satisfied. As I fell asleep, I suddenly felt that there was a person standing beside me, and his huge figure overwhelmed me, making me breathless.I tried to open my eyes, and found that there was really a person standing beside him. His face covered with long hair was illuminated by the street lights, which looked very strange.I yelled: "What are you doing?" He left in a daze.It turned out to be a madman.

After dawn, I washed my face in front of the tap, gurgled and filled my stomach, and started looking for a job in Zhuhai. A few years later, I can still recall the scene of walking along the Lovers' Road along the river that day. I didn't know the name of this avenue until later.That road is wide enough for both buses and private cars to drive on.There is a half-person-high wall like a city plate between Lovers Road and the sea. The sea water hits the rocks above and below the city plate, rolling up layers of white waves.The avenue along the river is winding and winding, with gaps in some places and bridges leading to the sightseeing pavilion standing in the sea.I saw couples standing in the tourist booth, they were smiling and posing for pictures in various poses, they were all happy, they were also very happy, they were accompanied by someone, and they would tell each other when they were in pain, They will share sorrow together.And I stand alone, like a shadow, I can only lick my own wounds, I can only comfort my own wounds.

The sun shines on the road of couples, and I walk in the sun. Everyone in the sun looks comfortable and unhurried. The lovers whispering side by side, the tourists with baggy backpacks and novelty faces, the bouncing teenagers with bright smiles...they Everyone has their own story, each of them has their own life.However, their life stories do not have the sadness and pain like mine, and I am full of envy and yearning for them.I imagined that one day, I could also find someone who loves me, a girl in a white dress, with shawl and long hair, and a smile like sunshine, walking by my side, walking by the sea.It has been a long time since love left me. My heart is a desert without love. I have forgotten the taste of love, the sweet taste.I am not qualified to talk about love, because I cannot give my loved one a stable and happy home.I also fantasized that I could carry a backpack and walk around the world alone, and go wherever I want, just like them who are walking on the road of lovers at the moment, affluent and calm.It's a pity that I don't have any money, and I'm struggling on the line of food and clothing. I can only hold a map in my hand, and wander under the emperor's sky and above the thick soil in my imagination, and travel in my imagination to those famous mountains, rivers, and jungles that I have been familiar with since I was a child.Looking at those teenagers wearing red scarves passing by, they are carefree and innocent, I seem to have returned to the long-lost past. I am carrying a schoolbag sewn from rags by my mother and running on the road leading to school. On the mountain road, the sun shines on my body in spots, the school bell has already rang, and the bell startles the birds perched on the trees... Everything when I was a child is so beautiful when I think of it.And I grew up so suddenly, how wonderful it would be if people could live in their youth forever!

I didn't take the bus, and I couldn't bear to spend the two yuan.I was afraid of getting lost, so I kept walking along Yanjiang Avenue. At dusk, I came to an unknown street.This street is very wide, and the street paved with bluestone slabs is clean and tidy.The shops on both sides of the road are all antique buildings, dizzying, and seem to exude the fragrance of a long history. This street should be famous, but I can't remember its name.A few years later, what impressed me most was the women on that street, and I could meet a group of them every few steps.They dress up coquettishly and pull people on the street unscrupulously. When they meet those well-dressed men, they are like flies seeing fresh stool, buzzing and flying over together, surrounding the men, trying to pull them to relax , go to massage, go to sauna, go to loosen bones, go to knock on the back, I really didn't expect that there would be so many titles in their mouths.When encountering those men who are unwilling to go, they put a small piece of paper in the man's hand, which has their phone number on it.They urged men to call themselves when it was convenient for them.

I have unannounced visits to street girls, but I did not expect that there are such beautiful and fashionable street girls. They are completely different from the miserable street girls I have unannounced interviews.In public and under the watchful eyes of everyone, they openly dragged the man to the hotel or the house they rented. I was shocked by their boldness and straightforwardness. This street is a microcosm of society. I saw all kinds of people here. The hawkers selling gadgets looked on both sides in panic, the shirtless men drank beer and yelled, and the migrant workers with their bags on their backs. The younger sister’s footsteps were hurried and panicked, men with suspicious identities gathered around and whispering, scantily clad women wandered around looking for prey, and pious prostitutes pretended to be serious, but the corner of their eyes stuck to the chests and backs of those women...

People live everywhere, people live in various ways, what kind of way should I live? I searched until midnight, but I was still reluctant to stay in a hotel. Later, I came to a square with grass next to it.That night, I slept on the grass.I was alone on the grass. It's very quiet here, and it only belongs to me.I lay on the grass, put my shoes aside, and let my feet relax after a tiring day.I lit another cigarette, clearing my mind in the curling smoke. The sky in this city is very clear, and you can see the stars and the moon in the sky at night.The moon that night was very round and bright, like a baked biscuit.I suddenly thought of my hometown, and suddenly understood why the ancients always associated the moon with nostalgia.Now, what about the father's illness?Is mother in good health?Are they asleep?And my younger sister and younger brother. Is my younger brother still riding a tricycle on the streets of the county town at this late hour?Is my sister still sad for not having a new dress?

Thinking of my family brings tears to my eyes. I have resigned, and it is impossible for me to return to my original unit in the north to work; I have no land, and I cannot return home to farm; I am lying here, but I am out of tune with this city; I rent a house in the county-level city in the south , but I have been fired, and I have nothing to do with that county-level city.Where should I be from now?Where is my home?Where should I go?I'm too tired, I want to rest, but where is the station for me to rest? I smoked a cigarette and tried to remind myself of the happy times I had in my childhood and teenage years.The simple folks, the mountains in the distance, the figure of spring plowing, the fragrance of the soil, the heavy snow, the old houses, the frozen river...Suddenly, "Nine Nine Songs" came to my heart, and I meditated sentence by sentence , finally able to fully recite this folk poem:

1929: no action; 3949: walk on the ice; 5969: look at willows along the river; 7:9 when the river opens, 8:9 geese come; I was trembling with excitement, and all the happy times in the past rushed to my heart.Every year when the wheat is ripe, I lead the ox in front, my father pulls the frame cart, and my mother pushes it behind. In this way, we use the frame cart to pull the wheat from the ravine to the threshing field bit by bit, just like a foolish old man moving mountains I learned to ride a bicycle and drove my father back to the market. My father happily told my mother that he came home on my bicycle. My mother shed tears of joy and said, "My son has grown up." ...

I fell asleep in bliss. When I woke up, the sun had already risen very high, and countless people walked past me, speaking in a language I could hardly understand, and only then did I see the Gongbei Customs not far away.These are people entering and exiting customs.Going out from here is the legendary Macau, a place full of abnormal prosperity and countless corrupt officials. I can still remember that morning, pedestrians hurried past me, and they walked to that mysterious and magical place.I have only seen a few words about that place in books, and they may come out of that place, and they are also mysterious and magical in my eyes.No one noticed me, a man who had slept on the grass all night, a man with unkempt hair, a man with a sad face, a man who was defeated and frustrated, and a man who had nothing to do with them.They don't give me a second look, they are either full of thoughts or busy with work.They looked well-groomed, and they must have had a better life than me.

Go to Macau and make money there.Suddenly this thought flashed through my mind. I came to Gongbei Customs, but found that I need to pass the customs to go to Macau, and I need a Hong Kong and Macau Pass or a passport to pass the customs.I only have an ID card on me, and this ID card cannot lead me to that land.I felt like I was standing at the door of Alibaba’s treasure house of wealth, wandering and lingering, forgetting the life-or-death mantra: “Sesame, Sesame, open the door!” When I walked out of the customs, I stood by the sea and looked into the distance. They said that the island in front of me was the legendary Macau.Macau, I have heard of this place since I was a child, and now I am so far away, but so far away. I turned and left. Gongbei Customs, I will definitely come back in the future. I must hold my passport and step into Macau majestically.I must live in a high-end hotel in Macau, eat the famous local lobster, and look at the car lights downstairs like dragons, and the sky like a sea of ​​stars. I told myself: I must live the life of a rich man.What they have enjoyed, I must also enjoy. In Zhuhai, I was still running around like a headless chicken. I ignorantly crashed into companies, timidly dictated my resume, carefully guessed the eyes of others, and then turned and left sadly.Both Shenzhen and Zhuhai are beautiful, however, I can't find a place to stand here. Later, I came to Dongguan again.I heard from many migrant workers that there are many job opportunities here.I thought, I should be able to get a job here. Walking out of the coach station, I walked along a boulevard, crossed a bridge, and came to an urban village. I later learned that this village was called Huangcun, one of the famous urban villages in Dongguan. There are several small hotels here, and I found one. The boss said that the accommodation fee was 25 yuan per day.After entering this small room with only one bed, I put down my luggage, and took a shower in the public bathroom. The dirt and fatigue of the past few days were finally washed away. Then, I went downstairs and told 126 artificial desk to roam my paging to Dongguan.At that time paging was almost extinct.Every time you go to a place, you must tell the paging lady to roam your paging number, otherwise, you will not receive any information. I stayed in this hotel for five days. Every day during these five days, I went out to look for work at dawn, and came back at night with tired steps.At that time, I positioned my job as an office white-collar worker. I thought I was a college graduate with good writing skills. I also worked as a civil servant and reporter, and I did a good job in both. I should be able to handle copywriting in general companies.However, the copywriters of many companies only need girls, young and beautiful girls, who can represent the image of the company; and a tall, strong man sitting in front of the computer with a fierce face is a bit nondescript. Every night, when I returned to the small hotel hungry, I closed the door and smoked desperately.Couldn't find a job, I wasn't in the mood to eat, and couldn't eat at all.Only smoking can relieve the pain in my heart.If I don't smoke, I will feel very uncomfortable and feel restless. The facilities in the small hotel are very simple, and there are no windows in the room. I smoked the room until the air was blue, and I coughed violently one after another. After coughing, I wanted to smoke again.Those cigarettes are extremely low-quality cigarettes that cost one or two yuan, and the brands are called "Mango", "Daqianmen", and "Yangcheng". One day, a young man younger than me lived in next door. He had just come from the north. His cousin had been in Dongguan for several years and introduced him to work as a security guard.On his face was the simplicity of a rural youth, but also the fear of just coming to the city.This is someone else's city, but we are all country people, and our identities are doomed to live in other people's cities. I said, "Let your cousin introduce me to work." "I'll tell him," he said. We talked a lot that night, and our shared experience of living in the countryside brought us closer to each other. This was the most I talked these days.Later, we came to a small restaurant and ordered a plate of cucumber and shredded tofu, and then ordered two bottles of beer.When paying the bill, he took out the handkerchief with money from his pocket and insisted on buying it. I pressed his arm and said, "I came out earlier than you, so I should buy it." When you are in a bad mood, it is easy to get drunk.That night, I had only one beer, and when I got back to my little room, I felt so light, and I lay in bed, enjoying the feeling of being slightly tipsy.Suddenly, I became sad for no reason. I thought of my so many years of running around, so many years of hard work, so many years of suffering, and thinking of that dilapidated and poor home, and suddenly burst into tears.I covered my head with a quilt and cried hard.I don't know how long it took before I fell asleep.