Ten years ago today, I left my hometown, a small county in the north, and came to the provincial capital alone to find a job. Before that, I was a civil servant in the county seat. I lived a nine-to-five life every day, sitting in the office with nothing to do, and the life of "a cup of tea, a cigarette, and a newspaper for half a day" made me miserable.At twenty-eight I was able to foresee my own life at eighty-two.Everyday life here is the same, so I decided to leave. In the month before I left the county seat, I couldn't sleep at night.Every night, I would go for a walk on a street on the outskirts of the county seat.At dusk the street without shops was very noisy.On the open land on both sides of the street, there are a bunch of people singing karaoke every few tens of meters.Those inflected and high-pitched singing voices rippling in the vast sky outside the county seat, often causing the surrounding dogs to bark and echo each other.In the middle of the night, the street would be deserted, and I was often the only one wandering here.The street lights dragged my figure very long and long, and then became very short and short.Occasionally, there will be a few frogs and birds chirping on the side of the road, cutting across the silent night sky like glass, making people's scalp numb.

After hesitating for a month, I finally made up my mind to leave this small town and go see the outside world.However, at the time I didn't know what I could do, whether I would be able to find a job. Ten years ago today, with only two hundred yuan on my body, I boarded a long-distance bus bound for the provincial capital.That's all my savings. I worked in that small county for five years, and my savings for five years were only 6,000 yuan.However, not long ago, my father, who was a farmer, suffered from a serious illness. Not only did I use up all my savings, but I also borrowed tens of thousands of yuan.Those tens of thousands of foreign debts, according to my salary standard at the time, were enough for me to repay in my lifetime.

With a dream of panning for gold, I left my hometown.At that moment, I really felt like "the wind is rustling and the water is cold". I knew that I would never come back after I went out. I knew that I must succeed after I went out, and there was no way for me to retreat. The dilapidated long-distance bus carried me and a car of honest fellow villagers with smelly and sweaty feet, and left my hometown step by step.I looked back at the smaller and smaller county towns, at those silent villages, with tears in my eyes. It's unpredictable. At dusk that day, the coach pulled me to the train station.

Every day at the train station is extremely noisy, full of people, almost every mouth is talking, and those who are not talking are also eating.The open space in the square in front of the station was full of people, those who took the bus and those who saw them off, their footsteps were in a hurry.Passing through the cracks of these crowds, every pair of eyes is full of suspicion and guard.Bare-chested men with green dragons and white tigers tattooed on their bodies, women in suspenders with dangling breasts flashed in the crowd from time to time; in addition, there were beggars with broken bowls and limping legs; A boy with a big belly and an imposing look; a migrant worker with a torn hat covering his face and carrying a snakeskin bag... The train station is the most complicated place in a city, and it is also the most chaotic place in a city.All kinds of people, with their minds in their hearts, wrap their thoughts tightly; secretly cover their money bags; everyone compresses their bodies to the minimum; everyone regards each other as an enemy.

I sat on the steps of the train station that night, starving and hungry, my ears ringing.The sound of car engines and the voices of the crowd turned my ears into a pot of sticky porridge.I clearly remembered a scene and a line in a TV series I watched: Wang Qiming and his wife came to the United States. They watched the bustling crowd at the airport and said quietly: "We fell into the sea." At that moment , I really felt like falling into the sea, alone and helpless, and I couldn't even grab a straw; later, this feeling became more and more intense. I am not familiar with this city at all, I don't know where to go, where to find a job opportunity.I am full of fear of this strange city.Looking at the migrant workers leaning on snakeskin bags and playing poker, I feel that they are much happier than me.They have companions, and they can jointly resist the storms and dangers outside, but I can only fight alone.No one knows my grievances, and my tears can only flow into my stomach.During those few days, I always had a feeling of wanting to cry.

That night, like many migrant workers, I slept in the square outside the station.There are some elderly women wandering in the square.They held a bunch of old newspapers and hawked them for twenty cents each.Migrant workers bought two newspapers, spread them on the ground, and then lay on them.I also bought two and put them under my body like they did.I hugged a small black bag tightly to my chest, which contained my graduation diploma, award certificate and two published books, which were the capital I fantasized about gaining a foothold in this city. My city life started from the square of the train station.

I barely closed my eyes that night. After midnight, the hustle and bustle of the city gradually quieted down, but my heart was raging wildly.I don't know what my future life will be, whether I can survive in this city; if I can't survive, what should I do.I thought of my childhood and adolescence, poor and struggling; I thought of all the unfair treatment and suffering I had received before; I told myself that even if I died, I would never return to that small county. At dawn, it rained heavily suddenly, and there was a lot of shouting in the square.People got up, holding torn newspapers in their hands, and rushed to the eaves of the shop to hide from the rain.This noisy scene lasted until dawn.

After dawn, I started looking for a job.I don't know where to go.Seeing a bus coming, many people ran over, so I ran over and got on the bus.I don't know where this bus is going or what awaits me ahead. I haven't eaten, but I don't feel hungry.During the few days when I came to the provincial capital, I only ate two biscuits a day.At that time, one biscuit cost two cents, and two biscuits cost four cents.I relied on four cents a day to spend the initial stage of part-time work in this strange city, allowing my life to continue. The bus swayed all the way, passing through high-rise buildings with glass windows, such a high floor that I have never seen before; passing through straight and wide roads, and beside the roads are well-dressed and leisurely people. city ​​dweller; through this city, this city is many times bigger than the county town where I lived for many years.The bus stopped, and at the terminus, I was the last to get out of the car and found that this was already a suburb.Many days later, I found out that it was the southern suburbs, where many vegetable farmers in this city live.

To live in this city, you must first have a stable residence.I walked into those narrow alleys and asked every family if there was a house for rent.My sloppy Mandarin made these landlords half-understand.They waved their arms and drove me away like a fly.I finally found a landlord with a kind attitude, but he asked to pay one month's rent first, which was more than 100 yuan.I only have 200 yuan on me. If I pay the rent, I will have no money to eat and ride.I had to give up. I wandered the streets aimlessly like a stray dog.Everyone I walk by makes me envious. Their footsteps lead to the direction of family or work. In a certain place, there is a relative or work waiting for them; but I don't know where I am going, what I am nothing.

Near noon, I saw a hotel, a very small one, and there was a big red paint brush writing on the door left from the "Cultural Revolution" era. On one side was "the revolution is not guilty" and on the other side was "the rebellion is justified".There is a tree whose name is not known at the door, and the sun shines on the treetops, scattering fine spots all over the ground.A man in his twenties was lazily sitting on a wicker chair at the door, squinting his eyes at the people passing by the alley.He is the owner of this hotel. I went in and stayed in this hotel, sleeping on a bunk, and the room cost five yuan a night.This is the last time I have seen this kind of living in Tongpu. From one side of the room to the other, there is a long big bed, and there are seven or eight people sleeping on the same bed with me: several very old people An old man, a blind man, and two young men in their twenties.Later, I learned that these old people were picking up rags, the blind man was telling fortunes, and the two young men were thieves who had just entered the Tao.They always go out in the middle of the night and come back at dawn.

There is a map on the wall at the entrance of the registration room of the hostel. A thief and I often look at the map.The thief said that he was a taxi driver and wanted to know the roads of the city.And I am looking for where there are job opportunities. For the next few days, I scrambled like a headless chicken against the city's hard walls.I have looked for elementary schools, scrap companies, and restaurants... and these units have rejected me without exception. One morning, I saw a "Recruitment Advertisement" on a tabloid left by a hotel guest. It was a cultural communication company looking for clerks, and the company was in the eastern suburbs.Without the slightest hesitation, I walked out of the hotel.I am a college graduate and have published books. I think I am a cultural person and should be able to find a job in a cultural communication company. At that time, the bus in the provincial capital cost one yuan to get on the bus.In order to save the money for five biscuits, I ran behind the bus.I ran out of breath, and many passers-by looked at me curiously, and the traffic police ran behind me. After running for tens of meters, they stopped when they saw that there was nothing wrong. After running for an hour, I was hot and thirsty. There was a tap on the side of the road, and a few women were washing clothes beside it.I ran over, ignoring the embarrassment, stretched my head out and took a gulp.Then, keep running forward. When I reached the eastern suburbs, it was already noon, and a handsome man received me.After hearing my introduction, he said regretfully: "You don't know what kind of person we need. You are very good, but unfortunately we don't need it here. I suggest you go to the newspaper office." However, I just walked out of the small county at that time , I feel that the threshold of the newspaper office is very high, and I dare not step in. About the seventh day I came to the provincial capital, I walked to an exhibition hall in the center of the city, where a job fair for college graduates was being held.It was already afternoon when I went, and there were still many people in the exhibition hall. I came here completely by mistake. Those who come to apply are graduates who have just come out of college.They have clean faces and neat clothes, with childish smiles and mustaches that have just grown out.They are enviably young.However, the social experience of several years after graduating from university has made my mentality vicissitudes, and there are shallow wrinkles on my forehead.I saw that the job advertisements erected next to those booths were full of positions for science students.I am a graduate of the Chinese Department, and I am an old graduate with extremely low self-confidence, dull behavior, unkempt hair, timidity, and trembling voice. Who would want it? That afternoon, I just wandered around in the exhibition hall. I didn't have the courage to walk up to a booth and recommend myself.At that time, I regretted not studying science in college.I think it is much easier to find jobs for science graduates than for liberal arts graduates. I sat on the steps leading to the top floor of the exhibition hall until dusk, seeing that the recruiters and applicants in the exhibition hall were all empty, and then I hesitated to go down the steps, but I still didn't know where I should go.Since I hadn't eaten all day, my throat was dry and hoarse, with burning pain.I saw a half bottle of unfinished mineral water next to a booth, so I took it over and poured it all into my stomach. At dusk, I walked out of the exhibition hall and came to the square across the road.There are couples of snuggling lovers, children flying kites with laughter, and old people taking a leisurely walk.This is a standard city life scene, however, it does not belong to me.On both sides of the square are restaurants.I saw obese chefs wearing white coats at the entrance of the restaurant holding frying pans, and the flames reflected their hot and sweaty faces.The table was full of diners, they were laughing and laughing, drinking and drinking, and their faces were filled with happiness.However, none of this is mine.I was thrown in this city like a stone, no one cares about me, no one cares about me. I want to sit down, pick up a newspaper by the garden and spread it under my buttocks.I was very hungry, my stomach was twisted into twists, and I was in pain, but, in the center of this city, there were no biscuits.Every plate of food here costs tens of yuan, I can't afford it, I can only afford sesame seed cakes. In order to disperse my hunger and distract my attention, I picked up the newspaper under my buttocks and read it. Suddenly, I saw a job advertisement under the newspaper. The newspaper was recruiting ten reporters.I remembered the words of the handsome man in that cultural communication company, maybe I am really suitable to be a reporter. I took this newspaper and got on the bus back to the hotel. I decided to go to this newspaper to apply for a job tomorrow morning. The next morning, I got up very early. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I specially sprinkled water on my hair. Facing the distorted mirror at the door of the hotel, I used my fingers to make a three to seven point hairstyle.After checking the yellowed map that had been posted for many years, I set off. At that time, there were few pedestrians on the street, and the brooms of the cleaners and the wheels of the cars made the streets dusty.My well-designed hairstyle was quickly soiled, which made me feel bad for a long time, worrying about being rejected by the newspaper because of poor appearance. When I came to a crossroad, I got lost. I found the newspaper after asking a few aunts who practiced Tai Chi.The newspaper had just started work, and a very young man received me in the office. He said that I was the first person to apply for the job, and then asked for my resume. At that time, I didn't know that I had to fill out a resume to apply for a job.All the units I applied for before were small companies, small restaurants, and small workshops, and they never asked me for a resume.Seeing my confusion, the young man handed me a form to fill out at another table. Name, age, education background, work resume, etc. were printed on that form, and I filled it out truthfully.I remember that there was another item on the form that was "What are your specialties?" I filled in "Literary Creation" and wrote the names of the two books I had published. I remember that I was a little smug at the time. After filling out the form, give it to the man.After reading it carefully, the man asked me with great interest: "Have you ever published a book?" I took out the book I wrote from my pocket and handed it to him with both hands. He looked at the introduction carefully, flipped through a page casually, and said after reading: "The writing is good." After receiving his praise, my tense thoughts relaxed, and I said humbly, "I wrote it in random." The man smiled and said, "The exam the day after tomorrow." When I walked out of this newspaper office, I was uneasy. It turned out that I had to take an exam to work in the newspaper office.But I haven't worked in journalism for a day before, and I don't know that there will be an exam. What will I take?I am at a loss and have no idea. However, since I was asked to take the exam, it means that I have basically been recognized.Thinking of this, I feel a little relieved.After feeling relaxed, I suddenly felt hungry, remembering that I hadn’t eaten all day yesterday, so I walked into a restaurant on the side of the road generously, ordered a big bowl of noodles, and the soup splashed everywhere.That was the sweetest meal I had since coming to the provincial capital. After eating, I went to the bookstore, found some books on news, read them carefully, and copied them in the notebook.Oh, it turns out that the news is what happened recently; and the inverted pyramid structure turns out to be the result of the event first, and requires the most concise language.This is called the introduction; the five elements of journalism are the five W's... which I had never heard before.Over the years, I just dived headlong into literature and alienated journalism.Later, when I was flipping through the Chinese textbooks in junior high school, I realized that I had learned the basic knowledge of news at that time, but unfortunately I forgot all of it later. While copying, a female salesperson came over and yelled at me.I blushed, put the book on the shelf like a thief, and fled.I found another bookstore, and I did the same. That day, I densely copied more than ten pages of news knowledge in my notebook.At night, I stood under the street lights on the road outside the hotel and recited.I seem to have returned to my student days. On the third day after I signed up, which was also the tenth day I came to this city, the newspaper office held a written test. The written test was held in an elementary school near the newspaper office. Hundreds of people came to take the test that day, occupying many classrooms upstairs and downstairs.I saw that on the eve of the exam, some people were reciting in the open space next to the ping-pong table with books; , Tucked into the sleeves... That kind of atmosphere makes my heart feel tight.I don't know if I can be admitted by this newspaper, if not, what should I do next? After the exam questions were sent out, I was secretly delighted. I actually recited the fill-in-the-blank questions and multiple-choice questions two days ago; and the later writing questions were not to mention. I have already published two books. Will write.I wrote several pages eloquently, and the invigilator would come to me from time to time to see what I was writing.There was a burst of pride in my heart. The bell for handing in the paper rang, and I looked up, only to find that I was the only one left in the huge classroom. After the exam, I heard several people who came to the exam say that I will go to another newspaper office to take the exam in the afternoon, and that newspaper office is also recruiting.After I found out the address, I went with them to another newspaper office a few kilometers away.Because I didn't sign up in advance, the newspaper gave me a temporary admission ticket. I still felt that the exam questions were very simple, and I handed in the paper soon. I waited for another three days. This was the thirteenth day since I came to the provincial capital. This day was the day when the two newspapers released their rankings.I had already made up my mind at that time that if neither of these two newspapers hired me, I would go pick up trash with the old people in the hotel. That morning, I started running again in the direction of the newspaper office.I was sweating profusely and almost collapsed from running, and finally came to the first newspaper office.I saw a lot of people gathered in front of the gate of the newspaper office, and everyone was silent, looking for their names on the list silently.The list is red, and the writing on it is golden, which is extremely dazzling.I stood outside the crowd and saw my name the first time I saw it.My name was in the first place, and I was admitted as a reporter of this newspaper with the first place.I was afraid that I would be blinded by myself, so I took a closer look, and it was really my name.I was so happy that I almost fainted. I turned my back and burst into tears. That's all right, now you don't have to pick up trash. I was running on the street again, attracting many puzzled looks.A traffic policeman chased after me and asked me loudly what I was doing.I turned around and smiled at him, and continued running again.The fat traffic policeman couldn't catch up with me, so he had to give up out of breath.I ran briskly, and I saw that the sky was so blue, the floors were very high, and everyone was very kind.I remember that a group of birds flew by in the sky at that time, and the sound of chirping fell down like leaves. I ran to a remote alley, knelt under a big tree, and cried loudly.After a long time, I got up. At noon, I came to another newspaper office a few kilometers away, and saw that my name was still on the list, and I was still number one. In the past, the filth was not enough to boast, but today it is debauched and wandering around the world.The spring breeze is proud of the horseshoe disease, and I can see all the flowers in Chang'an in one day. This afternoon, I happily ate a big bowl of noodles again.