Chapter 64 Chapter 14 Graduated from University, with a bright future

It was noon one day after I attended the student representative meeting.With Kuang Shufang, Xie Wenjin, her husband Meng Baoqin, and several Hong Kong students who often participate in English clubs, they went to a small restaurant in front of the school to celebrate graduation and bid farewell. Everyone was so excited that they even ordered a large bottle of sorghum wine (probably the only kind of wine there).The store brought small teacups as wine glasses, and small plates of peanuts and dried tofu. Even the patterns on the thick porcelain plates were the same as those in the teahouse under the Leshan River Bank (probably from the Yangtze River culture).

The ancient city where the three rivers converge, the late spring in March, the beauty of the peanut trees, and the friends who walked hand in hand have become strangers. In a year, I was in such a noisy and complicated situation. It seemed like a lifetime! Do it, drank six cups in a row, scaring everyone so much that they didn't know what to do.Wenjin and Shufang carried me back to the dormitory, the road was not close, no one even had a bicycle, my two feet seemed to be flying through the clouds, stepping on the void, I actually walked back, entered the dormitory room and fell on the bed immediately. I don't know.

Waking up the next day, thinking about what to do next? After graduating from university, work and love are all in vain.Shu Fang returned to her hometown in Sichuan first, and Wen Jin hurried back to Shanxi to reunite with her family.Since I can remember, I have no hometown to return to.My father was busy in Beijing and Shanghai, my mother temporarily lived in Beiping, and my elder brother worked as an army reporter on the Northeast battlefield where the Kuomintang and the Communist Party fought.At that time, the workplace for women was very narrow, and I still wanted to study and study. Dean Gui Zhiting applied for my admission to Holyoke College in the United States because of the fellowship, but my father did not allow me to go abroad. He thought that I should first Consider marriage before going abroad for further study, otherwise, given the unpredictable domestic situation, you will be isolated from your family all your life, and you will become a lonely "old girl".

After handing in the last exam paper for the graduation exam, it was a scorching noon.Now I don’t even have the final goal to strive for. I graduated from university, and I returned to the dormitory exhausted physically and mentally. In the half-empty room, I cried bitterly, mourning the loss of my own future and the confusion of the country.The China that my father was determined to save at my age is now facing even greater internal and external troubles, and I don't know what to do?When I was naive and arrogant, I wanted to study philosophy to understand life, but now I have no place to rest my tiny and powerless mind.

Fortunately, in the midst of confusion, rationality is dead.My parents are still alive, and as long as they are alive, I will have a home to return to. Finally came the day of the last voyage to the Yangtze River.In late June, I took a boat back to Shanghai from Hankou with several Hong Kong overseas Chinese students, Yu Linwei and others.That riverboat had a cabin, and the cabin was stuffy and hot, making it uncomfortable to sit and sleep. Along the railing of the whole ship, nearly a hundred young men (recruit soldiers) were tied in a row with thick hemp ropes to support the war against communism in the north— — At that time, it was not possible to say "KMT-Communist War".

The boat sailed for half a day and a night, and the soldiers tied outside the hatch saw us drinking water. The thirst in our eyes made us unable to drink any water. Sometimes we secretly gave them some to drink, and the soldiers on the other side begged us to give them some too. . This action was heard by the patrolling officer, who came to check, he said that food and beverages would be distributed regularly, please don't break the military discipline, when the army is mobilized, the most afraid of loosening and desertion. Under such a big sun, the faces and mouths of some soldiers were scorched and cracked. We closed the door of the stuffy cabin before we dared to eat and drink, because we felt guilty with every bite.

That night, I fell asleep very tired, and in the dimness, I heard voices from outside the cabin shouting, "Someone has jumped into the water..." The officer shined a large flashlight into the water. One of the soldiers started crying, causing more crying.A gruff voice snapped, "If anyone cries, shoot!" The cries stopped abruptly, and there was a dead silence in the darkness. As long as I live, I will never forget their withered faces and the thirst in their eyes.Sometimes I shed tears when I saw soldiers running with shields behind mighty generals on ancient Western battlefields in movies.In ancient and modern times, at home and abroad, those soldiers who ran rustlingly on the land and "one general succeeded in ten thousand bones" made me sad. It specifically symbolized the damage of war to my soul.

Seeing Shanghai again... It's only a year, but for me it seems like a lifetime ago, and I can't bear to look back. I have a home, and my father republished "Time and Tide" in Shanghai, and moved from North Sichuan Road to a big house on Jisi Feier Road (renamed Fanwangdu Road after the victory) in the original Yingzujie, which was rented. It is a city property and used to be the mayor's official residence. There are many mysterious legends during the Japanese occupation period. "Time and Tide" and the staff and family members of the Northeast Association in Chongqing lived in more than half of the rooms, leaving three rooms for Dad.Gradually, many comrades who fought against the Japanese underground in the past came to Shanghai and lived in it. It was very popular and came in and out every day.

After living in Shanghai for a week, I went to Beiping to meet my mother. My father hoped that I could find a job in Beiping and help take care of the family.At the time, it seemed the only reasonable path for me, too. When I returned to Peking after graduating from university, it was a great comfort to my mother, "in her heart. I have grown up and can support myself, and I have become her daughter who can discuss her concerns." She returned to Peiping for a year, and it seemed that all her "dreams of returning home" were shattered.The war to suppress the communists in my hometown in Northeast China was fierce. The two armies went out and in four directions on Siping Street in Changchun. It was a bloody battle.Many people who swallowed their anger and acted as "obedient citizens" during the fourteen years in Manchukuo also fled to Guanli.My family’s home in Dayang Yibin Hutong in Beiping became the target of relatives and friends. All the rooms were full of people, and there were two tables for each meal, and sometimes a second round.There are ten members in the two aunts' family and four members in my family.Three cousins ​​(Zhenyong, Zhenfei, Zhenlie), two cousins ​​and newcomers from their hometown.At that time, prices had been rising, and the dishes on our table could only have three or four kinds of large pot dishes, such as eggplant stewed with potatoes, cabbage stewed with tofu and meat. If the amount is too large, it is not a delicate dish in a small pot. Aunt’s children My two younger sisters and I are both about fourteen, five to ten years old. They are growing up and don't understand the sufferings of the world.

The money my father sent every month couldn't keep up with the price fluctuations, so it was difficult for me to play the role of mother.While I was back, she took a trip to the northeast with her father who had returned to the northeast on business.And she took the risk to go back to her natal family's new platform alone to visit the graves of her grandfather, grandmother, and three uncles, and stayed there for a few days.During that period, I helped my two aunts buy vegetables and deal with the seven tasks of opening the door. Only then did I realize that the expenses were huge. The money my father remitted regularly every month was no longer enough to cover my expenses.

Rumors abounded in the city of Beiping that Jinpu Road was often blocked by roadbeds being dug or wars.When my mother returned to Peiping from her hometown, she was very sad.She didn't even have jewelry that could be sold. The dowry jewelry and years of frugal savings were only a few thousand yuan in silver. At the end of the Anti-Japanese War, the bank was ordered to exchange them for the currency of the time. Later, it was only enough to buy a horse of indanthrene cloth.If Jinpu Road was broken, there would be no way to buy air tickets. Dad was working in Beijing and Shanghai at that time. How could she survive alone with two little girls?What's more, there are ten people with two aunts? At night, I slept on the temporary bed in her room, and when I heard her turning over and sighing, I said, "Mom, don't sigh, okay, I can't sleep. "