Chapter 47 Chapter 11 Reading Club Moving Forward

During the two years in Leshan, my life seemed to be divided into two worlds.With Shuiximen as the boundary line, turn left and go out to the Confucian Temple.Go to class, read notices, read wall newspapers, and watch various exhibitions (famous artists such as Xu Beihong, Guan Shanyue, Feng Zishen, Ling Shuhua, etc., of course, mainly local people and teachers and students); from Shuiximen, turn right to Baita Street and return to dormitory is a The real world where people eat, drink, live and live together. Not long after Zhao Xiaolan and I moved into our new room, a law school classmate in the same room invited us to have a "reading club" after dinner.I thought how good it would be to read some new books, so I went excitedly.

There were more than 30 people in the meeting room, more boys than girls. They were discussing the book of Russian writer Gorky that day. I read this book when I was in Nankai, and I was very moved.The next appointment was Sholokhov.The books were passed around and read in turn, and my roommate sister Hou (she came back from school and was two or three years older than us) was in charge of the girls' dormitory.I went with her three times, and the discussions at the venue were very heated, full of political accusations, and many Russian folk songs and songs such as "The East Is Red" were sung.

There were no evening activities at Nankai Middle School, and I had never heard of a book club when I went home on weekends, so it was a new thing for me, and I was very excited to mention it in my letter home.Not long after, my father wrote in a letter saying, "Now every university has a "reading club", which is a peripheral organization for the Communist Party to absorb intellectuals. Now, in order to fight against Japan for the whole people, the KMT and the Communist Party cooperate, and all associations are open. I am very interested. I should try my best to use the famous library of Wuhan University to read more relevant books, and I don’t need to participate in any political activities. The domestic situation is still at a low ebb, and the front-line national army is really defending the country with blood. My son is alone, and I hope to stay healthy. You must be calm when you face anything.” (I still have such a letter in my heart all these years.)

Since then.I refused to go to the reading club with Sister Hou, and said that I was busy with homework and had to memorize the books, and I showed her the notes I had copied. Keats' "Ode to a Nightingale" was long and difficult, and I just went to the library to borrow an unpopular original. Books, always looking up the dictionary.She just took Zhao Xiaolan there.When I came back, I sang songs like "Katyusha" and "Dongfanghong" even louder.Never talked to me since then, bumped into me in the hallway, and deliberately turned his head suddenly to avoid looking at me.What really saddened me was that Zhao Xiaolan gradually ignored me, and lived within a short distance but felt like a stranger.

Looking back today, there are traces that the Communist Party recruited young students through book clubs. During the Anti-Japanese War, half of the years were cooperated by the Kuomintang and the Communist Party. Both Mao Zedong and Zhou Enlai were in Chongqing.Mao Zedong himself was elected as a member of the National Political Council established in 1938 (Zhang Boling served as the deputy speaker, and Wang Jingwei, who was the speaker at the time, signed a secret treaty with Japan in January 1940, and soon went to Nanjing to form a puppet nationalist. government!) Afterwards, Mao went to Chongqing for a meeting to express his support for the unanimous anti-Japanese stance. My father, who was also a politician, met him and had a brief conversation.

The Communist Party's "Xinhua News" was officially published in Hankou in early 1938 and moved to Chongqing. It did not cease publication until the end of the Anti-Japanese War.Their words influenced many intellectuals and students at a time when newspapers were the only source of news. Zhou Enlai was an alumnus of Nankai University. He often visited the school to see President Zhang Boling, and he also gave speeches at the weekly meeting as an alumnus many times.Everyone likes to imitate the Tianjin accent when Principal Zhang introduced him, "Now, I will let Neng speak to you." It is full of warmth for this outstanding student.

He paid attention to the standpoint of the old principal, and only talked about building a country and strengthening the body, driving out Japanese slaves, becoming a cultural power in the world, etc. He never seemed to promote communism.In fact, his unique attractiveness is the best propaganda, and many people know the Communist Party through his gentle, refined, and profound style.How could the young people think that when the government's regular army was fighting the Japanese with all its strength, they would infiltrate the rear in various ways. After victory, the government, exhausted by casualties, would seize power, and then use totalitarian control such as the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution to stabilize the regime.

In 1943, when I was in my third year of high school, the bombing was at its worst.Fu Qizhen, who joined the science team in the third year of high school, has been friendly with me in school for many years.She is tall and strong, handsome and optimistic, laughs all day long, and is very popular in her homework.Later, she was admitted to Central University and stayed in Shapingba, while I went to Leshan in western Sichuan.When I went home during the summer vacation, I met and talked with her at the beginning. Later, I was very surprised and sad when I heard that she, Chen Chunming and other six people went to Yan'an with some male students from CUHK.I have always thought of her as my good friend, and we often read extracurricular books, write posters, hold events, etc. together. She has taken such a big step, but she never gave me a hint, and she never said goodbye before leaving.It wasn't until the reading club at Wuhan University that I gradually understood that it was impossible for Fu Qizhen to tell me.They may have participated in reading clubs and other activities long ago, were absorbed by left-leaning groups, and became "progressive elements", but I, who was "childishly" obsessed with literature, was no longer her "fellow traveler", let alone Zhao Xiaolan, a new friend.

At this moment, the principal announced the Ministry of Education's order to prepare for an emergency retreat to "Leima Ping'e".Everyone in the girls' dormitory was panicked, but fortunately the teacher's attitude was stable during class: They all have family members, saying that we all share weal and woe, so don't be afraid.Several students from Sichuan Province asked for leave to go home (the school allows make-up classes and exams).There are two attics on the third floor of our dormitory. Because the roof slopes to one side, two flat beds can be placed inside.There are two small desks, only one side has a window, and the other side has a skylight. Students who like to be lively don't like to live in it, and those in the lower class can't get their turn.They share a staircase with mine.One day, I met Li Xiuying from the history department on the stairs. She said that her roommate was taken back to Xuyong by the fiancee, saying that the war was in chaos.Get married first.So there is an empty bed in her attic. She knows that I have always envied a room with few people, and welcomes me to share the same room with her.I almost ran to the dormitory room and applied for that bed.The small wooden bed, the small wooden table, and the one-and-a-half-foot-square skylight above the head are simply gorgeous palaces to me...

When I was packing my luggage and books and moving to the house, Sister Hou said in her usual loud voice, without naming her name, "Some people's parents are high-ranking officials in Chongqing, and they still receive public funds every month and enjoy the people's fat and people's anointing. They are really thick-skinned! Every day People who read larks and nightingales in their mouths don’t know the hardships of the people, and they have no soul!” The others all lowered their heads and pretended to read, but didn’t speak, I thought about it, and didn’t know what to say, so I just said goodbye to Zhao Xiaolan, hurry Move things to the third floor.

Set up the new berth, sit on the bed and think about the scene just now.I feel very sad.I remember that when we first moved in, she asked us to call her elder sister and took good care of me. Sometimes she even occupied a small bathroom for me first, and left an empty seat on the bench for me when eating.In less than two months, why did he attack so viciously?That night, lying on the small bed, I saw the star-filled sky outside the skylight. On the first day, I thought that maybe God gave me a message, telling me to see the vast nest and forgive others for their harm? But my young heart couldn’t swallow it. That ruthless attack. The next day when I went to the Confucian Temple for class, I went to the life guidance group and asked, "Which students are the food public funds for?" The part-time work-study staff member said impatiently, "Since the war began, all the students in the war zone of public universities and middle schools have Public funds.” I asked, “If the parents of students in war zones work in the government and have a fixed income, will they also be paid public funds?” He looked at me attentively for a while and said, “No one has ever asked this question, what is your name? What department?" After writing down my name, he said with a straight face, "You go back and write a petition saying you want to give up public funds, and the school will forward it to the Ministry of Education for you." Then he closed the consultation window. In less than three days, there was a rumor among my classmates at the Grammar School that I was going to apply for a waiver of public funding.Lu Qiaozhen asked me what was going on, and I told her that I just asked about the qualifications for public funding, and didn't say a word.She heard that students from Qianjin (Left Leaning) were going to use this as a topic to attack the Ministry of Education.After dinner that day, I went upstairs and passed the original room. The "sister" surnamed Hou saw me in her seat near the door and said loudly, "Some people are afraid that others will not know that they are the remnants of the rich and powerful, so they show off everywhere." Oh! Daughter of corrupt officials! Get out! Don't think you are anything special..." This was the first time I saw the horrors and lies of politics as an independent person.In the family where I grew up, revolution and patriotism were born and died, love and righteousness, and the most taboo was to turn one's face and be ruthless, betraying one's friends. For the next sixty years, I never got involved in politics, not even campus politics when I was teaching.