Chapter 311 The Precipitated Past——Father Returning the Pearl to the Master's Life Reminiscences

People often lament that the past is like smoke, but Zhang Yihe said that "the past is not like smoke".In fact, whether smoke is worse than smoke depends on what kind of "past events" it is.There are some past events, with the true disposition and true insight of the person involved, deposited deep in the heart of the person, and will never become a thing of the past.In my memory, there are many such past events of my father. My father didn't go to school for a few years, and he didn't even finish middle school, but in the eyes of our children, he was a very learned person.The ancients said: "Everything in the world is knowledgeable."His father's "knowledge" lies in his insight into everyday things.I remember that when my eldest brother Guan Cheng was in high school in Suzhou, he failed a math test because he didn’t understand the calculus part.After dinner that day, my father took us children out for a walk as usual, and when he passed by the Wangxing Bridge, which he had walked over countless times, he stopped and said to Guan Cheng, "Look, there are stones built one by one. Isn’t this bridge “integral”? If the stones are slowly removed from one end, isn’t it “differential” at the end?” After a while, he said: “It’s best not to turn a blind eye when looking at things. There is also a change in the relationship between straight and curved, can you see it? Think about it, when the bridge body is demolished until there is only one stone left, wouldn’t its curve become a straight line?” On weekends, Mr. Wu Zhaoji, a tutor, came to The family tutored us with homework, and the eldest brother relayed to him his father's "bridge theory". The famous mathematics teacher in Suzhou at the time said that it was a principle of advanced mathematics: under certain conditions, curves and straight lines are the same thing.

In 1955, my father served as a member of the Beijing Opera Directors Committee and often participated in the compilation and adaptation of traditional plays.One day, Mr. Xun Huisheng, the director of the committee and a master of Peking Opera, came to visit and discussed with his father on the reorganization and processing of the famous Xun School opera "Xiang Luo Dai".The two talked very speculatively, and bursts of laughter came from the living room from time to time.My father was very excited that day, and seeing off the guests, he told us the story of "Xiang Luo Dai": a garrison who had led the army for several months and had not returned, suspected that his wife had an affair with the teacher at home, so he acted It's ridiculous.He scolded endlessly at first, and then threatened with a sword, forcing his wife Kuiye to go to the study to call the teacher out for a "meeting" to verify his suspicions.Fortunately, the scholar has a good character and abides by the etiquette. No matter how his wife "calls", he refuses to open the door.As a result, the truth came out, and the defense had to apologize.After the story was told, my father was still full of ideas, and he joked about "reason" with us: "A door involves the personality, psychology, personality and fate of the three protagonists inside and outside the door. Liuxiang (Xun Huisheng's nickname) My husband said that the 'operating eye' of this play is on the door of the study room, which is very insightful." Later, we saw these two lines in my father's notes: "In and out of ordinary things, one must be careful when opening and closing. "Think about it, don't you?Life is like a door, open when it should be opened, and close when it should be closed, how difficult it is.

The most admirable thing about my father is his unswerving love for his mother.Mother Sun Jingxun, a wealthy daughter, gave up her extremely affluent material life, broke through all kinds of obstructions from her grandfather, and insisted on marrying her poor and humble father, and shared the hardships and hardships with him.Such an icy heart touched my father all his days, and the long-lasting and deep feeling mellowed into a kind of meticulous consideration for his mother: when he put on the cloak, he carefully carried it behind her; He carefully supported her on both sides; every afternoon, he brewed a cup of Longjing for her by himself; After decades of doing it, it became a way of life and a habit.Just imagine, if there is no deep emotional support, how can it be done?

In the autumn of 1951, the Peking Opera written and directed by my father was performed on the Tianchan Stage in Shanghai.This new play was starred by Tan Yuanshou, a descendant of the Tan School, and Li Lifang, a famous Tsing Yi, and the performance was a great success.As soon as my father was happy, he took my third sister Guanxian and me from Suzhou to Shanghai to watch his "masterpiece" on weekends.My siblings and I were sitting next to our father, one on the left and the other on the right. We were engrossed in watching the play, and suddenly we heard the third sister yell at my father, "What are you doing? You keep stretching your feet!" My father didn't make a sound, just smiled shyly. , and took her feet back from under the third sister's seat.After the play broke up, my father took us to have supper, and he told us the whole story in a wonton shop on Fuzhou Road.It turned out that in the past, the seats in the opera garden were relatively high, and my mother was short. In order to prevent my mother from controlling her feet, my father stretched out his feet to make her a "mat". Over time, it became a habitual action. Consciously or unconsciously, he will stick out his foot—and it must be his left foot, because his mother always sits on the seat to his left.Look at that day, my mother had gone to Beijing to visit relatives, and the third sister was sitting on my father's left, so he stretched out his feet to her.

We were very moved by this incident, but we didn't think deeply about it at the time. We just felt that my father was very careful and caring.Later, I got a better understanding of this matter when I heard my father discuss martial arts with a martial artist who came to ask for advice.My father believes that in practicing martial arts, every move must be transformed into subconscious or unconscious.Because when fighting with people, tricks and routines cannot be done immediately.If you think about it before the battle, you will inevitably fall into a passive position because it is too late.The so-called quick hands and quick eyes, the so-called superb, are actually the unconsciousness of receiving moves, that is, the natural and correct random reactions made at the right time.Many people can't do this because they lack hard work and hard work.My father summed it up: "Unconsciousness is a state that is not easy to reach." I think that although my father has not reached this state in terms of martial arts, he has indeed stepped into it in terms of the relationship between husband and wife.The unconscious behavior of the father when he watched the play shows that his caring for his mother has become an instinct, a natural expression, and this is the result of how many years he and his mother have shared weal and woe.

People of my age may have had such an experience when they were young. When adults asked to "stretch out their hands" when we made a mistake and were raised in the face, we would probably have to eat the "palm of the hand" and be punished.However, my father asked us to reach out, but we didn't see the follow-up of the board, but there were some other intentions. In the early 1950s, my brothers and sisters all went to school in Suzhou.The third sister, Guanxian, is talented and hardworking, and her academic performance is always among the best in her class.In the year she graduated from elementary school, she actually got the first place in her class.Back home, she handed the certificate and grade book to her father, and said a little excitedly: "I am the first..." Although the voice was not high, there was a very proud look on her face.The atmosphere made me, who barely passed the exam, quite embarrassed.I thought, my father was going to use my third sister's "excellence" to belittle my "inferiority".However, it is not.The father carefully read the third sister's certificate of merit and grade book, and said to her: "Very good. But don't take this 'first' too seriously. When a person has made progress, he should first reach out and see. Myself...” Just as I was about to continue, when I heard a visitor coming, I went out to greet him.Seeing that the third sister spread her hands, the mother didn't seem to understand what the father meant, so she told us an interesting story about my father's childhood:

It was in a private school class at the Li Family Ancestral Hall in Changshou County, Sichuan decades ago.One day, Wang Erye, who taught the class, asked the students to recite "The Chapter of the Widowed to the Country" in "Mencius" that day.Because he had something to do, he left after assigning homework.My father had read this part of the book before under the supervision of his grandmother, and his memory was excellent, so he was familiar with it in less than an hour.Seeing the other children frowned, or closed their eyes and pouted their lips, each of them was struggling to recite, the father looked proud, and his speech and behavior were almost forgetful.He poked at this one: "Hey, recite it faster!" teased that one: "What's wrong? You recite it so slowly!" Later, he actually sat on the "throne" of the teacher and started to give lectures in a tone of voice. Fifty steps to laugh at a hundred steps" is equivalent to "laughing at two hundred steps with a hundred steps" now. What "seventy people eat meat" is because "the elderly are weak and have no meat to fill them", just right to say, Suddenly he was slapped on the back of the head, and when he turned around, it turned out that Second Master Wang had returned at some time.At this moment, his hand that was raised again was about to strike down.Seeing this, the father quickly took Wang Erye's hand, and begged: "Sir, don't hit me, the student knows it is wrong!" Wang Erye refused to let go: "Is it wrong? Do you know what is wrong?" The father looked at Wang Erye. He opened his hand, and said timidly: "Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, just like Mr.'s fingers——I shouldn't rely on being smart." When he got down, he only said "not next time", and let his father go. ...

After listening to my mother's story of the past, we were immersed in a burst of speculation.When my father sent the guests back to the room, the third sister went up to her and said, "Dad, I understand." My father smiled and said, "Just understand." Then he turned around and said to me, "Actually, I understand." , People not only need to see their own shortcomings when they are in good times, but also see their own strengths when they fall behind. Ding'er's poor academic performance is the result of being playful; when you play football, you are not afraid of being tired or suffering , isn’t it very tenacious, that’s the advantage, if it’s used for studying, don’t you worry about it?” Listen, listen, I stretched out my hand...

For decades, I have often stretched out my hand to look at myself, always remembering the words left by my father: "Stretch out your hand, and that is yourself." My father usually does not stick to etiquette, but on the third day of the twelfth lunar month, he will solemnly pay homage to his teacher Wang Erye.On this day, he was busy with work early in the morning: washing dishes, chopping meat and fish, warming pots and boiling wine, serving pots and spoons, and doing everything by himself without the help of his family.As soon as Zishi (11 o'clock) when the second grandfather passed away, the father respectfully laid out sacrifices in front of the portrait of the late master, including wine, vegetables, soup, rice, sweets, and fruits.Among them, the four side dishes of mapo tofu, shredded pork with winter bamboo shoots, watercress fish and sweet and sour pork cooked by my father are not "delicacy", but they are called "delicacy".

After the incense-burning worship, my father stood by, and every ten minutes or so, he would toast the teacher with food or add rice and soup.During the hour or so, my father kept his head upright, his face solemn, his face leaning forward, his expression solemn, his eyes seemed to be admiring, his ears seemed to be listening, his form and spirit seemed to be praising, his heart seemed to be respectful. In the yearning,... Finally, he finally broke the silence, and ended the annual La Sacrifice in the recitation of a large section of Qu Zi's "Heavenly Questions". At first, I didn't understand why an ordinary wax sacrifice should be so serious and thoughtful, so I asked my father, and he said: "There is an old saying that 'sacrifice is as if you are here'. That is to say, you should sacrifice to your ancestors as if you are by your side. Same." "Then, is "Tianwen" recited to Wang Erye? Why?" I asked my father curiously, and he said, "Yes. "Tianwen" is the last thing Wang Erye taught me. It’s a pity that the old man left before he finished speaking. I’m continuing to ask him for advice!” Later, when I grew up and read more books, I realized that my father’s sacrificial rites were actually the same as the "Rituals" The "sacrifice righteousness" mentioned in "Records" is similar and corresponding.Later, when I also read "Heavenly Questions", I followed Qu Zi's bold imagination and persistent exploration while reading, wandering in the mysteries of the universe and the vicissitudes of history, interrogating in myths and wonderlands and changes in objects, and exploring the relationship between heaven and man. When I was thinking about it, I finally understood the significance of Wang Erye's introduction to this poem for my father's growth.It is this spiritual and aesthetic enlightenment of youth that provides the original and inexhaustible source for the book "Shu Mountain".

Father's wax festival taught me to know how to be grateful.As the saying goes, "Etiquette starts from the heart, and ritual and emotion are connected." The key to the use of etiquette is to have "heart" and "emotion", otherwise it will become superficial. The connotation of "gratitude as heavy as a mountain" lies in the generosity and selflessness of the giver on the one hand, and the comprehension of the recipient on the other hand.In his father's mind, the kindness of Wang Erye's teaching is as important as that of Emei and Qingcheng. Starting from this kind of inner gratitude, the external form of the sacrificial ceremony he performed has the essence of "sacrifice as if in existence", becoming A cordial teacher-student dialogue. We are seven brothers and sisters, all of whom have the word "Guan" in their scientific names: Guancheng, Guanfang, Guanxian, Guanding, Guanshu, Guanhong, and Guanzheng.This word seems to increase the sense of brotherhood between us. Even when others see our names, they will naturally guess "this is a family".Some people praised these names for their good names, but what's so good about them?I am used to it, I am used to it, but I have never seriously thought about it. When I was in high school, because the school was very close to the Beijing People’s Art Institute, I often had the opportunity to watch the performances of the artists there. I soon fell in love with acting and reciting, and then I fell in love with writing poetry.In the summer of 1956, my father visited the Northwest with a delegation of writers and artists organized by the China Federation of Literary and Art Circles, and met the famous poet Professor Feng Zhi who was the head of the delegation.Not long after my father came back, I asked him to introduce me to Mr. Feng for advice on how to write poetry, but he thought that the sentences I wrote were not worth troublesome people.I was not reconciled, and under the banner of my father, I went straight to Mr. Feng's house in Yandong Garden, Peking University.Unexpectedly, what attracted Mr. Feng's attention was not the few poems I thought were good, but my name.As soon as I entered the living room, Mr. Feng asked me to sit down and said, "Guanding, that's a good name." Said: "Your father gave you the name? Guan, Ding, sixty-four hexagrams, your name occupies two hexagrams, and they are all good hexagrams!" When I got home, I asked my father for an explanation, but he didn’t answer. Instead, he asked, “What do you think?” I blurted out, “Watching is just watching; the tripod is an important national treasure. Viewing the tripod but not aspiring to the top shows that you have no ambition.” My father listened I couldn't help laughing, pointing at the third sister who was standing aside, and said to me: "According to this logic, isn't it necessary to draw the conclusion of 'seeing the virtuous and not asking the virtuous'? Then, the ancient saying of 'seeing the virtuous and thinking of the same' Do you want more?" As he spoke, he walked to the desk, spread out the paper, and wrote down a line of "hexagrams" with a brush: After finishing writing, my father raised his head, looked at us puzzled, and said, "Don't you want to check the books?" My third sister and I quickly picked up the old "Ci Hai" and started to look it up.Soon, some scattered meanings appeared in front of our eyes: wash, wash hands; recommend, present; fu, honesty;However, what is the relationship between them and the word "view"?We were thinking about it, but my father squinted his eyes habitually. I knew that this was going to give us a "class".My father said that the ancients worshiped the gods of their ancestors, and they had to wash their hands before offering sacrifices to show their sincerity and admiration.It can be seen that "observation" does not mean seeing in the general sense, but treating it with sincerity and respect, and you must have this spirit and attitude in dealing with people and studying hard.It was said that the names of our brothers and sisters were associated with the word "Guan": the concept of Chengyun, the concept of Fangfei, the concept of virtuous, the concept of innovation, the concept of Hong (Tian) Jun, the concept of prosperity and waste (politics) , How can you not be sincere and respectful? After listening to my father's explanation, I couldn't help but think of the scene when he was invited to attend the National Day ceremony, so I asked: "That time you cried while watching the ceremony, is it also an expression of sincere respect?" My father smiled: "Yes, yes. Yes. The National Day Ceremony, it is a magnificent atmosphere, it makes you feel a kind of warm need, a kind of need to integrate your tiny body, mind and strength into it.” I finally understood the intention of my father in naming us, which contains How many wishes and sustenance!I was dull by nature and failed to achieve anything.Decades passed in a blink of an eye, but my father's words still lingered in my heart, and I was almost able to blame myself with sincerity in my life and work. Now, it's about to go to press.I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the leaders of the Writers Publishing House. Even though "Shu Shan" has been widely circulated on the Internet, they still spared no effort in investing a lot of manpower and material resources in publishing a paper version.I would like to thank Mr. Li Hongwei, the responsible editor, for his careful planning and hard work, which ensured the high quality of the publication of this book.I would also like to thank the book fans who have been fond of Huanzhu Zhulou for a long time. My clumsy words may not be able to express the emotion in my heart, but the relaunch of "Shushan" is indeed a favorite of the readers. distant echo.