Chapter 9 PART VIII THE LAST SATAN

Me: "I saw what you painted on the wall of the ward." Him: "Well." Me: "Other patients are terrified." Him: "Well." Me: "If Zaihua is not only wearing a corset, but also being fixed on the bed when sleeping." Him: "Well." Me: "Are you okay?" He: "Anyway, I've been in a mental hospital for a year, so it's up to you to deal with it." Me: "It was your family's initiative." Him: "Well." Me: "Do you hate me?" He: "It's okay." Me: "Then what can you say?"

The man in front of me is a young man in his 20s, very handsome, but there is an evil spirit in his eyebrows, I can't tell what it is.It was uncomfortable all in all - and I'm not alone in saying that. He looked up at me: "Can you undo the corset for a while?" Me: "I'm afraid not, you have violent tendencies." He: "I just want to smoke a cigarette." I thought about it, and went around to untie it for him. After moving his shoulders, he took my cigarette and smoked deeply intoxicated: "You will tie me up later, I don't want to embarrass you."

Me: "Thank you." He: "Can I see what you have written there?" He pointed to the medical record about him in front of me. I held it up to him, only a few observations, and he smiled. Me: "You haven't said anything in a year, so there are a lot of gaps." He: "I'm too lazy to say." Why do I?" He: "Let me smoke casually with this pack of cigarettes?" I can." He: "Actually, I'm fine, I just don't want to go to school, I want to stay, just like they say: lazy and lazy." Me: "Relying on your parents?"

His parents were Catholic, the devout kind.N generations before moving from Wuwei (in Gansu, known as Liangzhou in ancient times) to Beijing. He: "Yes, I will take over when they die. How long they live counts. In the future, if they have no money, they will kill and rob." Me: "This is the future you designed for yourself?" He's right." Me: "Is it interesting?" He: "It's okay." Me: "Why?" He looked up at me again: "I just feel bored... In fact, I didn't do anything, except not going to school or working, just doodles."

Me: "All the walls in the house are painted with devil images, and they are still painted in the corridor, and you also forcibly stabbed a pentagram on your girlfriend's back, so why not?" Him: "Inverse pentagram." Me: "But why are you doing this?" He took out another cigarette and lit it: "Do you have religious beliefs?" Me: "I'm an atheist." He: "Oh, so you belong to the middle school?" Me: "Central?" He: "Yes, those who believe in God are the light, you are the middle, and I am the darkness." He said it lightly, with a look of disdain.

Me: "You mean you believe in demons?" He: "Well, I believe in everything that is called evil." Me: "Why?" He: "Someone has to believe in these to have a comparison." Me: "Contrast what? Light and dark?" Him: "Well." Me: "Don't you think that's a very immature act of being handsome?" He pursed his lips and said nothing. I knew this touched him and decided to take a risk. Me: "Children think it's cool to worship demons. They buy clothes with hideous patterns, get ghost skull tattoos on their bodies, or deliberately dress up differently to pursue a different effect. In fact, in order to conceal their emptiness and confusion, they wear The affectation of rebellion for rebellion's sake."

He still didn't answer, but I saw his Adam's apple move. Me: "Although your drawing skills are not bad, that doesn't prove how deep you are. Some things can't be concealed, such as childishness?" He finally spoke: "Stop teaching me, you don't know much. Don't think you know everything, you don't understand me." Me: "Now is your chance to let me get to know you." He: "Okay, let me tell you: this world is dirty, and everyone is the same. Beneath the sanctimonious appearance, there are dirty and despicable faces. I have seen through it a long time ago, no one is pure in nature, and they are all the same. You don't agree. It's okay, but what I say is the truth."

I smiled and looked at him. He: "People are not pure by nature. Each body is injected with two characteristics at the beginning: God's blessing and devil's curse, just like you buy a computer with a pre-installed system. After injecting these two things in advance, is the It is the turn of the human soul to enter the body. Then the soul is mixed in and struggling. All kinds of desires make your soul degenerate, and various warnings make you refuse to degenerate. Humans can only struggle like this. Does it make sense? No, It’s all a helpless nature, and you can’t escape it. When you understand one day, you will find that there is such a dirty and obscene thing in your nature, and you want to get rid of it? Hahaha, it’s impossible!”

Me: "But you can choose." He raised his voice: "Choice? You are wrong! There is no motivation, greed is always stronger than restraint, meanness is better than nobleness. People are such humble things. Only when facing evil can the noble side be stimulated , because that is also a trait that exists in the body at the same time, and God's intention is like this. When you face violence, you will protect the weak, when you face evil, you will be righteous, and when you face fear You will be fearless. There is no comparison, and human farts are nothing, they are ants, maggots, garbage, dust in the air, and dregs under your feet!"

Me: "What if there are no gods and demons in this world?" He stood up and almost yelled at me: "That proves that it's all about the nature of human beings. It's been in the heart, passed down from generation to generation, and will always be! Just give two babies a glass of milk, and you think they will Humility? Nonsense! Humans are competing animals, competing with nature, competing with creatures, and then competing with humans. Can you tell me when there will be no war in the world? That is a fantasy? Unless before humans appear! I am naive? You It’s ridiculous! I believe in demons, so what? What is self-deprecation? My existence is to prove the existence of light. If you are inspired, you can only be humble, dirty, and obscene! Some people are willing to choose gods, while others are willing to choose demons! If there are only demons in this world, then there will be no demons, just like there is no god in this world. Reasonable. The meaning of my existence lies in this!"

Hearing his roar, two male nurses rushed in and almost carried him away. His roar echoed in the corridor: "You are all gods, I am willing to be a devil, even if you all choose the light, in order to prove your light, I will be the last Satan. This! This is my existence!" Hearing the sound of his going away, I stood there blankly facing the mess in the room, at a loss for the first time. I must admit, those words of his made me think for a long time, and the recording was almost exhausted by me. Later, I talked to his parents several times, and they told me how pious and full of faith the patient used to be, but suddenly he didn’t know why.And they say they've prayed for him countless times, and they want him to return to his old piety. I was going to say something, but I hesitated for a while and didn't say anything. I think, from a certain point of view, he is probably still religious.