Chapter 9 Chapter 9 Heart Song

I should have sent someone to Tianxiangfang to find out where Yizhixie and the others were going, but I, who has always been cautious in Chang'an City, did not do what I should have done. I just minimized my going out and stayed in the garden every day to practice playing the flute, or Am I deliberately ignoring and forgetting the time spent laughing and laughing with the girls?It turns out that after all these years, I still dare not face it. With a feeling in my heart, I just played a tune repeatedly: "There are trees in the mountains, and there are branches in the trees, and the heart is pleasing to the king, but the king doesn't know." Do you know if you don't know?Old worries add new worries, and my heart becomes more and more hesitant.

A voice outside the window said: "I didn't want to disturb you, I wanted to wait for you to finish playing the song, but why did it never end?" He knocked on the door a few times. I put down my flute: "The door is not latched, please come in." Huo Qubing pushed the door open and entered, picked up the flute on the table and played casually: "What did you play just now? It sounds familiar, but I really can't remember what it is." Fortunately, you never paid attention to these things, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, grabbed the flute, and put it back into the box: "What do you want from me?"

He looked at me carefully: "Come and see how you are." I pulled myself together and smiled: "I'm fine." He smiled and asked: "Is it good to hide in the house all day and not go out?" I bowed my head and said, "I'm happy not to go out." He suddenly poked his head in front of me, looked at me without blinking and asked, "Are the books you asked me for Li Yan?" He changed the subject too quickly, and I was stunned for a while before realizing that he was referring to those books. I turned my body slightly, turned my head, and said "yes" lightly.

He whispered in my ear: "Have you read it?" The warm breath was in my ear, and half of my face was hot.I panicked, and suddenly stretched out my hand to push him away. He rested his head on his hands and looked at me with a smile.Being stared at by him made me feel uncomfortable all over, and I jumped up from the couch: "I have to go to work, so you leave quickly." He stood up lazily, and sighed: "A woman's face changes faster than the weather in the desert. Just now the sky was clear, but in an instant it was full of dust." I opened the door without saying a word, stared at him, and beckoned him to leave quickly. His expression changed and he walked past me indifferently.I was about to close the door, but he turned around and said calmly, "Your cold face makes people's heart itch more and more." I gouged him hard, and slammed the door with a "bang".

Still thinking about Huo Qubing angrily, there were several soft knocks at the door, and I reprimanded helplessly, "Why are you back again?" Hong Gu asked puzzledly, "Where else can I go if I don't come back?" I opened the door with a busy smile: "I was confused by popularity, the fire just now was not directed at you." Hong Gu laughed: "It's good to get angry, you've been languid for two or three days, but today you seem to be much more angry, follow me to the garden, we said as we walked, sitting in the house in such a good weather would be disappointing." .”

I suddenly realized that when Huo Qubing made a fuss, I was too busy getting angry, and most of the melancholy that had accumulated for a few days was gone. He... did he do it on purpose? Seeing me standing at the door in a daze, Honggu smiled and took my hand, and went out: "Stop thinking about it, think about serious things, I did a calculation yesterday, and with the remaining money I can buy another garden. What do you mean? I plan to..." Honggu and I were walking in the garden while discussing the business of the song and dance studio. "Chen Lang, please don't do this, didn't you agree to just walk with you?" Qiuxiang struggled and pleaded, but the man who was about to hug her forcibly ignored her, still very rude.

Honggu and I looked at each other, we were a little angry, what did you think of our song and dance studio?Now even the most lowly and rascal dignitaries in Chang'an City have to restrain themselves a little when they come to Luoyufang, but today they are stunned and bold. Honggu laughed coquettishly and said, "You can see sparrows fighting when you go out and walk around. The love between men and women is interesting if you love me. If you really like Qiuxiang, you should spend some time trying to impress her. Let her follow you happily, so that she will look elegant and elegant."

The man let go of Qiuxiang and turned back with a smile: "It's interesting, but I think it's interesting if you don't want to..." When our eyes met, his smile froze, my heart was suffocated, I turned around and left, he drank cried, "Stop!" I turned a deaf ear, and hurried forward. He chased after me a few times and stretched out his hand to pull me. I waved him away, and I didn't care about avoiding it, and ran quickly. He shouted in the Hun language behind him: " Sister Yujin, I know it's you, I know it's you..." Her voice was already crying, and her daughter's voice was clearly evident.

I stopped, but still didn't look back, she came up behind me, sniffed, and said in a low voice, "I was the only one running out to play around, Shan Yu wasn't here." I turned around and looked at her, both of them looked at each other carefully, without saying a word for a long while.Hong Gu took a look at us and walked away quickly with Qiu Xiang. "Why are you still the same? You are so lawless in Chang'an City, and you even flirted with girls." I asked with a smile. Mu Daduo suddenly hugged me and cried: "They all said you were dead, they all said you were dead, I cried for a whole year, why did Yu Dan swear to heaven that you were dead before he died?"

I thought I was strong enough, but there were still tears in my eyes, and I bit my lips tightly to prevent them from falling: "Yu Dan... Before Yu Shan left, did you meet him?" Mu Daduo nodded while weeping: "Shan Yu didn't believe that you were dead at the beginning. He knew that we were close since we were young, so he asked me to ask about your whereabouts. But Yu Shan told me that you were indeed dead. Bury your body in quicksand." I took out the silk handkerchief and handed it to her, but for a long while I couldn't open my mouth to ask about Yu Shan's arrest.

"Sister, are you also selling songs and dances here? How much do you want to redeem your body?" Mudado said, wiping away tears. I looked at her and smiled warmly: "This garden is mine, and I am the owner of this place." Mu Daduo patted himself on the head and laughed: "I'm so stupid, who in this world can make my sister do something she doesn't want to do? Throw him one of our 'itchy nails' and tickle him to death!" I pursed my lips slightly, but didn't smile.Mu Daduo's smile also disappeared immediately, she was silent for a while, and said: "Sister, Shan Yu didn't kill Yu Shan, Yu Shan died of his own illness." I sneered: "He died of illness, didn't he? Yu Dan played with us since we were young. Is he in such a poor health? We tricked him into the frozen lake in winter, and we all got sick from the cold, but he couldn't do anything." No." Mu Daduo hurriedly explained: "Sister, it's true. Shanyu wants to kill Yu Shan, and he can be killed when he is caught, but Shanyu has ordered that he can only be captured alive, otherwise why would he chase someone for several days? Ye? Besides, you don’t know that when Shan Yu learned that he had accidentally injured you when he was chasing you, his face turned pale with rage. I’ve never seen Shan Yu so angry that all the thousands of warriors chasing you knelt on the ground in fright. I have always refused to believe that you would die, and asked Yu Shan over and over again how you died, but Yu Shan said it vividly. Shan Yu sent people from the Huns to find the Western Regions, and sent heavy troops to all the gates leading to the Han Dynasty. If it wasn't for you, then we believed Yu Dan's words." I sneered and said, "I don't want to go into this anymore. Even if Yu Shan died of illness, there are still my father and Yanshi. Could it be that they want to commit suicide? Who caused these things? Although he didn't kill them, they died because of him." With tears in his eyes, Mu Daduo shook his head again: "Sister, I don't understand at all why the Taifu committed suicide. Shanyu has been persuading the Taifu to stay and help him. Even if the Taifu refuses, he can ask Shanyu to let him go." Let’s go, but why did he commit suicide? I remember that day when I just fell asleep, I suddenly heard screams outside. I hurriedly dressed and went out of the tent, and I heard everyone shouting, “The former king’s Yan family committed suicide.” After a while, someone cried and said, "The Tai Tuo committed suicide". I was thinking of my sister, so I couldn't attend to see Yan Shi, so I ran to see the Tai Tuo crying all the way, but I saw Shan Yufei running towards me. Probably Shan Yu had just fallen asleep, and in a hurry, he didn't even put on his shoes. He stepped barefoot in the snow. The moment he saw the Taifu's body, he staggered and almost fell to the ground. Everyone was frightened to death, and Qi Qi advised him to rest , but he turned pale and dismissed everyone, and stood by the Taifu's body until dawn. Sister, since Shan Yu raised his troops and established himself as Shan Yu, I have always hated Shan Yu and hated him for taking Yu Shan's position. But that night, I saw Shan Yu sitting alone in the tent. It was snowing heavily outside the tent, and we all felt cold in the brazier. There was no joy in his eyes, but they were full of pain and desolation. Although it was cold, his heart was probably colder than the sky. I watched him secretly outside for a night, and suddenly I didn’t hate him anymore. I felt that there must be something wrong with him. Reasons, and I really think he is more suitable to be our Shan Yu than Yu Dan. I have seen all these with my own eyes, and I definitely did not deceive my sister. Later, Shan Yu insisted on ordering his wife to be buried in accordance with Han etiquette Fu..." Huge pain gnawed at my heart, I pressed my chest tightly, and closed my eyes in pain.When I heard the news that my father had passed away at the foot of Qilian Mountain, I felt the same pain, as if my heart was about to be eaten alive.And that scene came back to my mind again. After Yu Dan left me, I didn't follow my father's advice to go to the Central Plains, but hid among the wolves and tried my best to get close to my father.With the help of the wolves, I managed to avoid the repeated searches. I thought I could meet Dad secretly, and even take him away with him, but when I was about to see Dad, I heard The news of Dad's death. It had been snowing for three days and three nights at that time, and the snow on the ground did not reach my knees, but the sky was still falling.The sky is white, the earth is white, and everything between the sky and the earth is pale.Yu Dan died, Yanshi died, father died, and Yi Zhixie in my heart died too.I cried and ran in the snow, but no one would appear again.The teardrops on the face froze, the skin cracked, and the blood seeped into the tears, forming bright red ice tears. At the age of twelve, I ran for a whole day in the snow day after day, and finally fell into the snow with all my strength, and the snowflakes flew all over the sky and fell on my face and body.I stared at the sky with my eyes wide open, I didn’t move, I had no strength, and I didn’t want to move anymore, the snowflakes gradually covered my whole body, I thought everything was fine, I would be free from pain soon, that’s it!Let everything end in this clean white, without a trace of blood. Brother Wolf roared to find me. He used his paws to dig off the falling snow on my body, trying to drag me away with his mouth.But at that time, he was still so young that he couldn't hold me back at all. He just lay on my heart, covered me with his whole body, and kept licking my face and hands with his tongue, trying to pass on warmth to me.I let him go, telling him he would freeze to death in the snow if the wolves didn't get there in time, but he stuck with me. Brother Wolf stared at me without blinking, and whenever I tried to close my eyes, he licked me desperately with his tongue.He and Dad's eyes are not the same at all, but the meaning in the eyes is exactly the same, they both want me to live.I remembered that I had promised my father that no matter what I encountered, I would definitely live on, and I must live happily, because my father's only wish was for me to live.I stared into Brother Wolf's dark eyes, and said to Brother Wolf, "I was wrong, I want to live, I must live." Fortunately, the wolves arrived in time and the snow stopped, so I was rescued by the wolves. They used their own bodies and the blood of their prey to resuscitate my hands and feet... I suddenly shouted: "Stop talking! Mudado, for you, these are just pasts, but these are the scars on my heart. They used to be bloody, but now they are hard to scar and no longer bleed. Why do you appear In front of me, tear up all the scars that have been knotted? You go back! If you still care about the friendship we have known since childhood, please treat it as if you have never seen me, and there is no such person as Yujin. She is indeed dead. Died in the heavy snow that year." With a flick of his sleeves, he was about to leave.Mu Daduo grabbed my sleeve tightly, only knowing to murmur: "Sister, sister..." Before leaving the Xiongnu, I, Yu Dan, Rizun, and Mu Daduo were the best friends.Because of Father's relationship, Yu Dan and I are a little more intimate than others.Yu Dan, Ri Chi, and I don’t like to take Mu Daduo with us when we go out to play. She doesn’t say a word, but always stares at us with big eyes. I teased her and said: “Call me sister, I’ll take you Go out and play." She stubbornly shook her head and refused to call me, and said to me contemptuously: "You don't even know how old you are, maybe you are younger than me, so don't call your sister." But no matter where we went, she always Followed behind, couldn't get rid of it, and as the days went by, the two of us got better, because we were both stubborn, coquettish, and playful.When I decided on my age, I asked Mudado to call me my sister, and after thinking about it all night, she called me happily.I also wondered why she was so easy to talk to. I found out from Yu Dan that she thought she could call me sister in exchange for me to let her do everything in the future. A few calls of "sister" made my heart soften, and I said in a soft voice: "I am living a good life now. I don't want to go back, and it is impossible to go back." Mu Daduo thought for a while, then nodded: "I understand, you don't want to see Shan Yu, I won't tell Shan Yu that I have seen you." I held her hand: "Thank you, when are you going back?" Mu Daduo also held me happily: "I'm leaving tomorrow, so everyone is very busy today, and no one can take care of me, so I ran out to play by myself." I smiled and said, "Let me show you around! Let the kitchen cook some unique Han dishes for you, and it will be considered farewell." Mu Daduo asked in a shy voice, "Will we meet again in the future?" Looking back, the footprints are clear step by step, but we can no longer find the way back.I said bitterly: "I hope we don't see each other again. Yi Zhixie and I will never meet each other and smile away our grievances, but you have already chosen him. If we meet again, I'm afraid you will be in a dilemma." Mu Dadu's face immediately flushed red, and he stared down at the ground in shame and embarrassment.I originally meant to say that she chose Yi Zhixie to be their Shan Yu, but seeing her expression, I suddenly understood in my heart, I couldn't explain what it was like, and asked lightly: "Have you become his concubine?" Mu Daduo shook his head and sighed softly: "Shan Yu is very kind to me, because of this, the Yan family hates me very much. Like this time when I came to the Han Dynasty, no one agreed for me to come, but I just wanted to come, so Shan Yu agreed. , Mrs. Yan made a big fuss because of this incident. But I still can’t see what is in my mind, but if he is willing to make me his concubine, I will definitely be willing.” She said and looked at me with some shame glance. I laughed, and it turned out to be a girl from the Huns. If I like it, I like it. If I want to marry, I want to marry. I never hide my feelings, and I don't feel any shame. "Don't worry about me. Although you are friendly with me, it is your own business that you want to marry Yi Zhixie. I just hope that there will be a day when I will not really meet him." Mu Daduo looked at me with some fear: "Do you want to kill Shanyu?" I shook my head and replied truthfully: "Not at the moment. I thought about it and struggled in pain before, and finally everything gradually calmed down. In the future... I probably won't in the future. I just hope that I will never see each other in this life. Mu Da Duo, it’s actually not whether I want to kill him, but whether he wants to kill me. Once some things are done, he must be done thoroughly, otherwise he will be afraid and worried. Just like he would rather feel guilty after my father committed suicide than I would like to give my father a way out." Mu Daduo's expression changed slightly, as if he understood something, but he refused to admit it, and said stubbornly: "Shan Yu didn't want you to die, he gave orders, no..." I smiled wryly and said, "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that I will really kill him? It is easy for him to kill me, but it is not easy for me to kill him? He is the number one warrior of the Huns, the Chanyu of the Huns Empire. If I If I want to kill him, I have to fight against the entire Hun Empire, so I can only live for this kind of hatred in my life. Father only hopes that I can find the person who gave the peony, and use my wisdom to protect my happiness, instead of trying to get entangled in Painful. Mu Daduo, even if Yi Zhixie and I will meet again one day, the possibility of my death is relatively high. You don’t have to worry about him at all. I’m afraid that once he knows that I’m still alive, will I be able to gain a foothold in Chang’an City? It's all difficult." With guilt in his eyes, Mu Daduo said solemnly: "I will never tell anyone that you are still alive." The first day of the first month of the sixth year of Yuanshuo, the first day of the new year.I don't know if I'll be happy all the time this year, but I'm happy on the first day of the new year.On the 30th night, the silk strips I untied from Xiaotao's legs made me happy all night. Master Jiu invited me to play in Shifu at noon on the first day of junior high school. This is the first time you have asked me to visit you.I was wondering if there would be many firsts in the future, many... Put the silk handkerchief into the bamboo box, and take a closer look, there is already a small stack before you know it.I don't know when I can tell him all the thoughts of these silk handkerchiefs. First, I went to pay New Year greetings to my grandfather and Shi Feng, and talked with my grandfather for most of the day, and then bickered with Shi Feng and made my grandfather laugh for a while before turning to the Bamboo Pavilion. As soon as he arrived at the Bamboo Pavilion, he could smell the faint fragrance of plum blossoms, and he was a little puzzled, Jiu Ye usually never offered these flowers and plants. On the table on one side of the room is a pot-bellied pottery vase with a few white plum blossoms inserted in the center. It is lively and looks full of vitality. Next to the plum blossoms are two wine glasses and two pairs of chopsticks facing each other, and a small jug is being scalded on a small charcoal stove over water.The corners of my lips could not help but bend upwards.I leaned on the plum blossoms and took a deep sniff. Master Jiu pushed the wheelchair out from the inner room: "The smell of plum blossoms is faint." I looked back at him: "No matter how you smell or smell, the important thing is to be happy." He smiled gently, I put my hands behind my back, looked at him with a smile and asked, "What do you want to treat me to?" He said: "I will know in a while." He invited me to sit at Hu's table and poured me a glass of hot wine: "Does your shoulder still hurt?" I let out an "ah" and looked at him in confusion. I realized it instantly and nodded quickly: "It doesn't hurt anymore." He was taken aback: "Is it painful or not?" I shook my head again and again: "It still hurts a little." He pursed his lips and laughed: "After you think about it, it hurts when it hurts, and it doesn't hurt if it doesn't hurt. How can actions and words have two meanings?" I knocked myself on the head and it didn't work!Touching his shoulder: "It doesn't hurt like before, but occasionally it hurts a little." He said: "If you are busy with business, you have to take care of your body first. In the freezing weather, people cover one piece after another. Look at what you are wearing. No wonder you have a sore throat, headache, or shoulder pain. " I lowered my head and turned the wine glass on Hu's table, pursing my lips and smiling, with a hint of joy in my heart. After Shi Yu called "Master Nine" outside the door, he came in with a large tray on which were placed two large bowls with the lids on.He grinned at me, and placed a sea bowl in front of Master Jiu and me. I lifted the lid, and the hot white mist and the tangy aroma floated up together. I asked with a puzzled smile, "Did you invite me to eat a bowl of mutton soup and boiled cakes?" Master Jiu smiled and said nothing, just motioned me to try it to see if it was delicious.The cake in the bowl is as white as fat, with tender green scallions floating on it, it whets your appetite as soon as you see it.I took a sip of the thick soup and narrowed my eyes in surprise: "This taste is different from what I usually eat." Before Master Jiu could open his mouth, Shi Yu said quickly: "Of course it's different. The girl casually said last time that the mutton in Chang'an City is not good, so Master Jiu missed it. The sheep are live sheep from Chilechuan. Let the girl drink the most delicious soup in the morning, Master Jiu didn't sleep well last night, and this pancake is..." "Shi Yu!" Jiuye glanced at Shi Yu, Shi Yu blinked at me, and said silently with his mouth: "You have to work hard." He ran out of the room in a hurry. I looked at Master Jiu and asked in disbelief, "Did you make this bowl of mutton soup with your own hands?" Master Jiu said calmly: "You don't care about gold, silver, pearls and jade. I just want to use this bowl of mutton soup to cook cakes to congratulate you on your birthday and wish you good luck and longevity." I whispered: "Today is not my birthday." He said gently: "Everyone should have this special day. Since you don't know your own birthday, then use this day! We reunited here today last year. It was an auspicious day and the first day of the year. My God, every year in the future, when you celebrate your birthday, thousands of families will have fun with you." My voice was stuck in my throat, and I couldn't say a word. I just picked up the soup cake and ate it, and he quietly accompanied me to eat. The taste of the mutton soup is smooth and smooth, and when you drink it, your whole body will be warmed up, even your heart will be warmed up. After eating mutton soup and boiled cakes, the two of them drank wine slowly while talking without saying a word.I have a poor capacity for alcohol, so I dare not drink too much, but I can't bear to drink, so I have to sip a little bit. I like the feeling of being slightly drunk when two people toast and drink, warm and joyful. It got dark early in winter, just after Shen Shi, the house was already dark, Jiuye lit a candle.I knew in my heart that I should leave, but I lingered and refused to leave. I hesitated a few times, and finally got up the courage to pretend to be casual and said with a smile: "I recently learned a new piece of music, and I play it better than before." Master Jiu said with a smile: "You still have time to learn the tune, it seems that you are not as busy as I thought, what is the tune?" I stabilized my voice: "I'll play it for you to see if you know." He took out the jade flute, wiped it again with a clean silk handkerchief, and handed it to me with a smile.I lowered my head, not daring to look at him, the hand holding the jade flute trembled slightly, and I hid it in my sleeve for a long time before bringing the flute to my lips. The tune that has been practiced thousands of times, now it is played, but it has a vibrato from time to time.After I finished blowing, I still lowered my head, holding the flute, and sat motionless, lest my slightest move might break something. It was silent, deathly silent, so quiet that the air froze together, and the light of the candles stopped flickering, as if it was getting darker and darker. "It sounds strange, the tune is good, but you can't play it well, it's almost dark, you should go back!" Master Jiu said calmly and unhappily. There was a click, but before I felt the pain, there were already cracks in my heart. After a long while, the pain diffused into the whole body along the vertical and horizontal cracks, and the pain made my body tremble slightly.Looking up at him, when he met my eyes, his pupils seemed to shrink suddenly, and he immediately looked away.I stared at him stubbornly, but he just stared intently at the white plum in the clay vase. He seemed to be unable to see the "why" and sadness in my eyes. He won't talk to you anymore, just leave!At least everything has not been fully revealed, and he can leave with dignity.A voice in my heart persuaded me carefully, but the other side still didn't give up, I always felt that he would look up at me again. After a long time, I stood up silently and walked out. When I reached the door and stretched out my hand to pull the door, I found that I was still holding the jade flute tightly in my hand. I was too hard, and my nails penetrated into my palm, and a little blood oozes out, soaking into the jade flute. On, the dots are startlingly bright red. I turned around and put the jade flute gently on the table, and walked out the door step by step. In the half-darkness, I walked without knowing the direction. Whether I went back to Yufang or not, I didn't think about it at all.There was only a thunderous voice in my head, repeating: "It sounds strange, the piece is pretty good, but you can't play it well." Why?Why?Does he not like me at all?But why is he so nice to me?Why do you wait for me under the lamp when I come home late?Why do I think about every little problem, and carefully prescribe prescriptions for me, and remind me all the time?Why would you talk to me gently and lovingly?Why give me a birthday?Why?Too many whys make my head hurt like it's about to burst. During the New Year season, huge red lanterns are hung in front of every household. The warm red light is reflected on the street. The air is filled with a strong smell of meat. Happiness, but there is only my own shadow accompanying me when I lower my head, shaking with the light flickering. A few playful children were playing with firecrackers at the intersection, and the bamboo crackled in the firelight.The children were giggling, half covering their ears and hiding in the distance, waiting for the earth-shattering explosions. I walked straight past the fire, and it happened that the bamboo fire exploded. After a loud noise, a few sparks fell on my skirt, and the breeze blew, and it ignited quickly.When the children saw that they had caused trouble, they yelled a few times and rushed away.I looked down at the flames on the skirt of the skirt that were burning bigger and bigger. I was stunned for a moment before I suddenly realized what was going on. Rolled on the ground to put out the fire, a chinchilla fur cloak flapped on the skirt, and the fire was put out with three or two blows. "Is your hand hurt?" Huo Qubing asked.I shook my head and drew my left hand behind my back. Huo Qubing shook the cloak on his hands, and sighed: "It's a pity, I just got it from His Majesty a few days ago, and I'm only wearing it today." I wanted to say that I should pay him one thing, but when I heard that it was a reward from the emperor, I shut my mouth again.He glanced at me and put the cloak on me: "Although it's not good, it's still much better than your skirt with big holes and small holes." I drew my cloak together: "Why are you on the street?" He said: "I just came back from paying New Year's greetings to the princess and uncle. Why are you alone on the street? It looks like you've been shopping for a long time, and the ends of your hair are covered with frost." He patted my temple hair a few times with his hands Tip, carefully pat off the frost. I didn't answer, I turned my head and looked around to see where I was, and turned around half of Chang'an City in a daze.He looked at me carefully for a while: "It's Chinese New Year, why do you look so depressed? Come with me!" Before I had time to object, he had already forcefully dragged me into the carriage, and my strength had been exhausted just now. At this moment, I felt that everything was indifferent, and silently let him arrange me. Seeing that I was silent, he also sat in silence, only hearing the "squeak" sound of the wheels rolling against the ground. After a long while, he said: "I know what song you are playing. I hummed a few words casually and was overheard by His Majesty. He jokingly asked me which woman sang "The Song of Yue People" to me, and I asked Your Majesty in a daze. : 'Why can't it be sung by men?'” I twitched the corner of my mouth at him and forced a smile. "Chu and Yue are close, but they don't understand each other. King E of Chu State passed by Yue State by boat. I won the heart of the Yue girl, and took her home with a smile." Huo Qubing narrated this story that happened more than a hundred years ago. Because of the beautiful encounter and ending, maybe many women will follow the example of Yue Nu and try to seize their own happiness, but not everyone will get their wish.I don't want to hear the story anymore, interrupting him: "Where are you taking me?" He stared at me quietly for a while, and suddenly smiled brightly like the morning sun: "Take you to listen to the man's singing." Huo Qubing actually took me to drive straight into Jianzhang Yingqi's barracks.At the beginning of the current emperor Liu Che's accession to the throne, he selected young men from good families in Longxi, Tianshui, Anding, Beidi, Shangjun, and Xihe to guard Jianzhang Palace, called Jianzhang Yingqi.At that time, the government was still in the hands of the Empress Dowager Dou. Although Liu Che had the ambition to wipe out the Huns, he could only become a playboy indulging in pleasures when his life could not be guaranteed. Pretending to be the Xiongnu and the big Han to fight and practice each other, it seems that a group of teenagers are playing games for fun, but it is this game team, after years of painstaking management by Liu Che, that has become the elite of the Han Dynasty army. Although it was Chinese New Year, the barracks was still full of chills, and it wasn't until they moved to the rest barracks that there was a bit of New Year's atmosphere.The door was wide open, the room was illuminated by huge candles, the charcoal fire was burning red, meat was being roasted on it, and the aroma of wine and meat mixed together, making people's index fingers twitch. Huo Qubing had been in and out of the military camp since he was a child, and the people sitting around the fire in the house were obviously very familiar with him, and when they saw Huo Qubing, they all stood up with a smile.A man in brocade clothes said with a smile: "You have a good nose. You came just after the fresh venison was roasted." I heard the reputation and looked over and recognized Li Gan. Huo Qubing didn't answer, and took me directly to the seat vacated by everyone. Everyone didn't look strange when they saw me, as if I came here for granted, or it should be said that anything happened to Huo Qubing was normal.A young man put a bowl in front of Huo Qubing and me, and without saying a word, filled it with wine. Huo Qubing also didn't say a word, he picked up the wine and bowed to everyone, he raised his neck and poured it down.Everyone laughed, Li Gan said with a smile: "You don't talk too much, you know that you will be punished for being late." He poured another bowl of wine for him, and Huo Qubing had already drank three bowls of wine in the blink of an eye. Everyone looked at me. Under the light of the charcoal fire, everyone's face was glowing healthy red, and their eyes were young and pure, calm and enthusiastic, burning like fire. I don't know if it was the charcoal fire or their eyes.I actually felt my heart warm up, took a deep breath, picked up the bowl with a smile, respected everyone like Huo Qubing, closed my eyes, and poured it down in one breath. After drinking a bowl of wine, everyone applauded and laughed loudly.I wiped the wine stains from the corners of my mouth and put the bowl on the table.The second bowl of wine was full, and just as I was about to reach for it, Huo Qubing picked it up, and said calmly: "I brought her here, the remaining two bowls are mine." He had already started drinking. Li Gan looked at me and said with a smile: "It doesn't look like she can drink, but she is willing to give up her life to accompany a gentleman, but she is drunk when she fights. It's rare! I'm Li Gan." As he said that, he clasped his fist at me, and I was stunned for a moment, Fang silently bowed to him. The relationship between Li Gan and Huo Qubing is obviously very good.Huo Qubing seldom spoke in front of the crowd, and often had a haughty and indifferent face. Most people didn't want to easily find themselves in trouble, and kept a certain distance from him.But Li Gan and Huo Qubing were warm and cold, but they got along comfortably. Li Gan poured another bowl of wine for Huo Qubing, filled it for himself, and drank a bowl with Huo Qubing.He cut the venison again with a sharp knife and put it in front of Huo Qubing and me. Huo Qubing pierced a piece of meat with a knife and handed it to me. He said in a low voice, "Eat some meat to suppress the alcohol." Others were already sitting or standing, tearing up the venison and eating it, some directly ate it with their hands, some were more elegant, eating with knives, and some were busy punching, yelling five and six, yelling It's so big that it wants to burst people's ears. My eyes started to smell of alcohol, I only knew that Huo Qubing handed me a piece of meat, I ate a piece, grabbed it with my hands and brought it to my mouth, and rubbed the oil on his cloak casually. In my drunken eyes, I seemed to hear these young men knocking on a few tables and singing, and I also shouted after them with my throat open: While yelling and yelling, the sadness and sorrow in my heart seemed to vent a little from my heart with the yelling, and for the first time, I had a rough understanding of the young man's lofty ambitions and passionate blood. The next morning, I woke up moaning.Holding a bowl of hangover soup, Hong Gu murmured, "People who didn't like to drink in the past, now they drink like this." I held my head, and it still felt like a thousand catties.Hong Gu shook her head, took a spoon to feed me, and after I drank a few sips, I asked, "How did I get back?" With a weird smile on her lips, Aunt Hong looked at me coquettishly: "You're as drunk as mud, how can you come back? Young Master Huo sent you to the door. I wanted someone to carry you back to the house, but Young Master Huo just hugged you You went into the house." I said "ah", and my head became heavier.Hong Gu's face was full of gloating: "There is something more headache for you!" I moaned feebly, "What?" Aunt Hong said: "Young Master Huo wants to leave, but you firmly grab him by the sleeve and yell at him to make it clear. I don't quite understand what you said. Anyway, the general meaning seems to be 'Why should you be right? I'm so good? Can you treat me bad? If you treat me badly, maybe I won't be so sad'. Huo Shao sat by the couch and stayed with you, coaxing you until you fell asleep. leave." I screamed and fell straight back on the couch. How much more nonsense have I been talking about? Gradually, I remembered my absurd state, and scenes passed through my heart with clarity and vagueness.I lamented and lamented that I was really drunk and messed up, so I can't get angry any more in the future. I stretched out my left hand wrapped around Poirot and said, "I remember you wrapped it for me." Hong Gu nodded and said: "I did it, but Huo Shao watched from the side and urged me to cut off all your nails, and muttered with a cold face 'in case she pinches herself instead of others'. Pity me I spent a lot of hard work on your nails, but seeing Huo Shao's face, I dare not talk nonsense." I hurriedly raised my other hand, and sure enough, the nails became bald.I sighed and covered my face with my hands, and the scene of last night appeared in front of my eyes... "Why is no one singing?" I lay on the carriage window and sucked in the cold wind. Huo Qubing dragged me into the carriage, with a helpless expression on his face: "Why is the capacity for drinking so bad? Is the quality of wine so bad?" I smiled and broke away from his hand, and sang loudly out of the car window: "The iron bow is cold, the blood is still hot, bravely kill the enemy and protect the hometown... Good man, don't back down, the horse rides on the Huns and the Han Fengyang..." He dragged me back to the carriage again: "I just finished drinking, and blow the cold wind again, don't blame me for having a headache tomorrow." I wanted to push him away, but he hurriedly grabbed my hand, just touching the previous wound, I grinned and inhaled, he held my hand and looked closely: "What's going on here? Could it be that I got into a fight with someone inside the sleeve again? ?” I giggled and said, "I pinched it myself." He asked softly, "Does it hurt?" I shook my head, pointed at my heart, pursed my mouth, and said with a half-crying smile, "This place hurts so much." He had a calm face and didn't say a word, but there was a bit of pain in his eyes, and he stared at me steadfastly. I was so drunk that I felt uncomfortable, and I didn't dare to look at him again, and hurriedly looked away. Honggu laughed like a mouse that stole oil, grabbed my clothes, and dragged me up: "Stop thinking about it, drink the hangover soup, eat some millet porridge, and let the maid serve you in a hot bath , it won’t be so uncomfortable.” Xiaoqian and Xiaotao like to eat egg yolks now.Xiaoqian is okay, even though he wants to eat, he just makes some "cuckoo" when I feed; Xiaotao is very naughty, he follows me wherever I go, circling around my skirt, Play the game of "startling every step" with me.After hesitating between "stomping it to death" or "fat it to death", I decided to let it kill itself slowly.This decision made me eat eggs with them every day: they eat egg yolks, and I eat egg whites. From time to time, I would look at Xiaoqian and Xiaotao in a daze. I tried my best to forget Jiuye's words, the phrase "The music is good, but you can't play it well" every time I passed by my heart, my heart felt as if it was cut by a sharp knife. pain.We haven't had any contact for more than a month, and sometimes I think, are we not related anymore? When the night was low, I leaned against the window to watch the stars. Xiaoqian and Xiaotao's dazzling white in the dark reminded me that the night tonight was different from before.I secretly asked myself, am I doing something wrong?I probably shouldn't have played that tune at all, otherwise there would be at least nightly doves between us.I'm too greedy, I want more, but I can't not be greedy. I just drew water from the water tank in the early morning, but when I turned around, I accidentally saw a few tender greens in a small flowerbed that bloomed last autumn under the window.I was overjoyed in surprise, but my brows were not overjoyed, and I felt a little sad in my heart. Going to the flowerbed and squatting down to take a closer look, these mandarin duck vines seem to have popped up overnight. The tiny leaves are still attached to the ground, looking delicate and delicate, but they only see the sun after breaking through the thick soil.Since last autumn, they have been struggling in the dark soil. From autumn to winter, from winter to spring, more than a hundred days and nights, they don't know how thick the soil is on the top of their heads. Have they ever doubted that they can really see? to the sun? I lightly touched their leaves, my mood suddenly cheered up, and I urged Xinyan to find a gardener to help me make a bamboo basket, and put it on the buds of the mandarin duck vine, so as to keep Xiaoqian and Xiaotao away.They are still too weak to withstand Xiao Tao's destruction. At night, I wandered outside the wall of Shifu for a long time, but I still dare not jump on the wall.I always thought that I was a courageous person, but now I understand that people only worry about gains and losses when it comes to things that people really care about and value. Courage seems to be far away. I want to enter but dare not enter, want to leave but can’t bear it, with all kinds of helplessness, my heart moved, I secretly jumped onto the roof of another house, stood on the highest place, and looked at the direction of the bamboo pavilion from a distance. In the dark night, the lights are faintly visible. What next? It was a moonless night with only a few faint stars flickering on and off.In the pitch-black night, the entire city of Chang'an was asleep, but he hadn't slept yet.I stood alone on a high place, my robe rustled in the night wind, my body felt cold, but the warm lamp was out of reach. The light was on all the time, and I kept looking at it. I didn't know how long I stood there. A few cock crows were faintly heard, and I was shocked to realize that the sky was about to dawn. My heart suddenly became sore, not because of myself.A lonely lamp, a long night, alone, why can't you sleep all night?Why on earth are you guarding loneliness? There were going to be early risers on the street, so I didn't dare to linger any longer, so I jumped off the roof in a hurry, stopped a few steps, and stayed there for a moment, Huo Qubing was standing in the middle of the street. Under the dim morning light, he raised his head slightly, staring at the roof where I stood motionless all night, the cold morning wind blew by, and the sleeves and corners of his robe still seemed to have a bit of night chill. How long has he been standing here? He looked down at me, his deep black pupils were indistinguishable from emotion, as if he had no emotion at all, even though thousands of mountains and rivers separated him, he still couldn't avoid his focused gaze.My heart was suffocated, and I didn't dare to look at him, so I hurriedly looked away.The two stood far away, he didn't speak, I didn't move, they were silent all the way. Occasionally passers-by on the road looked at him and me, their faces full of curiosity, but because of Huo Qubing's extraordinary aura, they didn't dare to look too much, so they had to walk quickly.The sunlight changed from weak to strong, shining brightly all over the place, he suddenly laughed, it seemed that he laughed happily: "The wind and dew stand all night, so why?" I moved my mouth slightly, but my throat was rough, and it was difficult to answer his question. I suddenly ran past him in a hurry, not daring to turn back, nor could I turn back. Under the candlelight, the ink in the inkstone has thickened again, but I still can't find a word to write.What should I say?From day to night, I still got nothing. I gritted my teeth and wrote: After finishing writing, I dare not think about it again, for fear that once I think about it, my courage will be lost and the silk strip will be burned.Hastily tied the silk strips on Xiaoman's feet, and blew the bamboo whistle to let him go to Shifu. After Xiaoqian left, I couldn't sit comfortably, walked from the house to the courtyard, and then walked back to the house from the courtyard, and finally I simply lit up a lantern and squatted in front of the small flower garden to watch the mandarin duck vines carefully.They grow really fast, they were still attached to the ground yesterday morning, and now they are higher than half a finger of the ground.Is it hard enough to be like them, and one day I will definitely see the sun?Will he write me back?meeting?Won't? There was the sound of a bird flapping its wings above my head, and I immediately jumped up. Xiaoqian made a beautiful dive and landed on my raised arm.I didn't dare to look at Xiaoqian's feet for a while, and after closing my eyes for a while, I slowly opened them to look.Not the silk strips I sent!For a moment, my heart was sad and happy.Untied the silk strip, entered the room and lay down under the lamp to take a closer look: I pretended nothing happened, and he pretended nothing happened. We went around in a circle and seemed to be back to the original place. I stared at the silk strip for a while, trying to see that there was some emotional expression in the plain prescription prescribed by a doctor to a patient, and read it word by word, "If you like sweetness, you can drop a few drops of honey... It can be digested and good for the throat."Sigh softly in your heart, after such a long time, you still remember what I said about the sore throat last year, and also remember that I said I hate bitter taste, but that trace of affection always reveals alienation that has nothing to do with yourself. The sunshine in mid-spring is bright and generous, pouring on the mandarin duck vines without hesitation.When the light falls on the dark old leaves, it is like a fish entering the water, the ripples are gone at the moment, and it cannot arouse any change.The newly born leaves become as thin as cicada wings and have clear veins in the sun.Light and shadow, light and darkness, old and new, harmony and disharmony, compose a half frame of tangled vines, green leaves and branches. "When did you plant such a vine?" Huo Qubing asked behind me.The tone was brisk, as if we didn't have the wind in the night to stand all night. I hadn't seen him for nearly a month, and when I heard his voice suddenly, I was in a trance for a while, and I felt a little joy in my heart.Not daring to move, he still looked at the mandarin duck vine, pretending nothing happened and said, "Can you stop standing behind me so silently next time?" He walked up to me, reached out and touched the cane: "Even you can't detect it, it seems that my martial arts are really good. What's this called? Is it blooming?" I said: "Honeysuckle not only blooms, but also is very beautiful. It only blooms in summer, and it's not in season yet." He stood beside me quietly for a while, then suddenly asked: "Do you want to go back to the Western Regions?" His question was weird, and it took me a while to understand: "Are you going to war?" "Yes, as long as His Majesty approves, but it should be almost the same." "By the way, I forgot to congratulate you. I heard that you have been conferred the title of Emperor's servant by His Majesty." I said while thinking. He laughed at himself and said, "What's the point of joy? Didn't you hear anything else? I'm ignorant, but I'm just relying on my aunt and uncle." I pursed my lips and smiled: "I didn't hear it, I only listened to what I wanted to hear, how old are you this year?" Huo Qubing raised his eyebrows, and said with a half-smile: "Why do you ask me my age? I am eighteen years old. I am just a young man with a handsome appearance. I am not yet married. My family has land and land, and there are many maidservants and servants. It would be a good idea to marry me." pretty good idea." I glared at him: "It's really enviable to be in a high position at a young age, let alone you now..." I stuck out my tongue and didn't say any more. Huo Qubing snorted coldly: "I will let them have nothing to say." I laughed.In the spring of this year, the emperor sent General Wei Qing to lead an army to fight the Huns. General Wei returned victorious two days ago.It seems that Huo Qubing can no longer bear to be a leisurely princely relative in Chang'an City, and wants to learn from his uncle, soaring high and fighting in the sky. I said: "Didn't you already familiarize yourself with the landforms and climate of the Western Regions last time? You have done a lot of preparation. Besides, there must be people in the army who are familiar with the Western Regions and the Huns as spies and guides. I may not be able to get up." What effect." He looked at me quietly for a while, then smiled and bowed his hands to me: "For so many days, there have been voices of contempt in the open and in the dark, and finally I heard someone who praised me besides Your Majesty. The guide who is familiar with the grasslands and deserts and you It’s even worse than that, the Xiongnu are nomadic all year round, and their familiarity with the grasslands and deserts is beyond the reach of the soldiers of the Han Dynasty.” I looked at the mandarin duck pergola and said, "I don't want to go back now." He supported the mandarin duck pergola: "That's fine." I said: "I have something to ask you, if the army recruits locals as guides when they pass through Loulan, please treat them kindly." He glanced at me thoughtfully: "I don't care about other people's affairs, but those under my command, as long as they don't disagree, I won't be mean to them." I bowed to him and saluted: "Thank you." He said: "Starting today, I should have no time to come and see you. If you need to find me for anything, you can go directly to my house to find Steward Chen. You also know him, the Uncle Chen you met in the Western Regions. He'll send someone to let me know." I nodded and looked up at him: "When you return from victory and receive a reward from His Majesty, please treat me to a feast at Yipinju." With a proud expression, he said disdainfully: "You can go and book the banquet now, so as to save some rare things and they won't be fully prepared by then." I smiled and shook my head: "Okay! I will go to Yipinju tomorrow." He also laughed, and amidst the laughter, he strode towards the outsider, and when he came to the door, he suddenly turned around and asked, "Will you come to see me off when I go out?" I smiled and asked back: "Who am I? How can there be a place for me to stand?" He stared at me without saying a word, and I was silent for a while: "When are you leaving?" He smiled slightly: "It will be more than a month." I laughed and said, "Then we'll see each other in a month." He nodded slightly and walked away quickly.Under the bright sunshine in spring, the pine-like figure gradually drifts away.Behind him, a bright sun smiled lively. The emerald green leaves of the mandarin duck vine trembled happily in the breeze, and I squinted my eyes slightly to look at the blue sky.It's March in the world, the trees are green, the flowers are red, and we are young.