Chapter 13 Section 12

The night wind blew my skirt, and after a while, I found my voice: "Why are you still here?" When sending A Fen off, people from Zhuang Xu's dormitory also came. I didn't pay much attention to his whereabouts, but why didn't he get in the car? His eyes flickered, "I'm standing behind you, if you can't get up, of course I can't get up either." This sounded like accusing me. I recalled my tragic experience of being squeezed from the front to the back, and I couldn't help being a little embarrassed, "Sorry." "You should say thank you."

His voice was a little soft, but I could hear it clearly. He was a little puzzled, but I didn't think too much about it. I asked, "Where are the others?" "I don't know." After a pause, he answered cleanly, even looking a little sullen. It's just that he missed the bus, which is not a big crime.I was about to say something casually and part ways when his phone rang. He took out his phone, looked at the flashing words on the screen, and then picked it up. "Hey." ... "I didn't make it up." The other party was probably asking where he was, so, is it Rong Rong's call?I was guessing, but suddenly I heard him say: "I'm with Nie Xiguang."

My heart skipped a beat. His call was coming to an end, and after saying "OK", he hung up the phone. "My roommate's phone number?" I guessed, otherwise he wouldn't have said so directly that he was with me. He took a deep look at me and said, "Rongrong." I was speechless for a moment, and after a while I asked, "What did she say?" "They have already boarded the bus and told us to take a taxi." "...Then let's take a taxi." He nodded. I touched my pockets and realized that sending Ah Fen to the train station was purely a temporary idea. I didn’t bring any money with me. Even the coins for the bus ride were given by Xiaofeng. I felt a little embarrassed and said, “I didn’t bring any money.” ,do you have?"

He looked at me, probably because of the night, his eyes were particularly deep, he paused for a moment, as if he was thinking about whether he had any money, and then said: "Me neither." "Ah?" I couldn't help being dumbfounded: "Then what should I do?" He glanced at me again, and took the lead: "Walk." I was still standing there, he walked for a while, stopped, turned around and looked at me from a distance, didn't say anything, remained silent all the way.I pursed my lower lip and started to follow. I didn't expect that after so many things happened, we could still walk on this empty road together on such a night.

Just walking, without talking to each other, made me restless for a while, and finally I had to start counting my steps, so as not to idle my mind and think about it. I made a wrong count for the Nth time, and when I started counting again, I suddenly heard a hollow voice from Zhuang Xu Yefeng: "You didn't use my thesis." As soon as he opened his mouth, the numbers I recited silently became messed up again. I paused and said, "Well, that's not good at all." I thought that by saying this, this topic should end here, but who knew that he would stubbornly ask: "What's wrong?"

I was tongue-tied, do I want to say that because you wrote this paper for Rong Rong's apology, I feel bad? "...After all, you wrote it." "Really? You don't want what I wrote?" He had a questioning tone, "We just met each other not long ago in our junior year, and you asked me for a reference for a thesis for a professional course..." You didn't give it to me that time, I replied with a bit of bitterness in my heart, and I actually wrote it indiscriminately that time, I just wanted to find an excuse to communicate with you more. "...You just think that my thinking has improved."

I don't want to think about the past at all, every detail is so silly, I want to destroy the corpse.Fortunately, only he and I know about it. However, maybe Rongrong would also know?When they are together, will he talk about me, tell Rongrong the stupid things I said, and make her smile. This kind of thinking is too scary, and it has the tendency to go crazy. I don't want to go with him. Such a quiet night and an empty road are not suitable for the two of us at all. My steps slowed down. "You go first." I said, "I can't go anymore, you don't have to wait for me."

He stopped and looked at me with a frown, "You...how spoiled are you?" ...I'm just looking for an excuse... His eyes fell on my feet, and his brow furrowed to express strong disapproval. "Why do you come out wearing this kind of shoes? You only care about beauty, not at all..." He probably realized that his tone was not appropriate, so he stopped abruptly. I looked down at the innocent stiletto sandals on my feet, and couldn't help avenging them: "I didn't expect to walk today, and these are ordinary shoes, popular this year, everyone in our dormitory has a similar pair. "

And if I remember correctly, the shoes that Rongrong is wearing today must be this kind of stiletto heels.Sure enough, if a person is not pleasing to the eye, even what shoes she wears will be wrong. "Really?" He paused and said, "I didn't notice." I was silent for a while, and asked, "Zhuang Xu, do you dislike me?" "I feel that I am not motivated and lazy all day..." Still pampered? I didn't say the last few words, and I felt that it was against me no matter what.When I was young, my parents were busy with work, and I was thrown at my grandma’s house in the country for a long time. Didn’t I still live a good life?

"Yes." He answered the first half of my question without hesitation. ...He really is, never giving me any face. I couldn't help but say, "But there's nothing wrong with this, right? Everyone must have some big goals? It's fine to live a happy life without disturbing others. Why do you think so much?" He listened in silence and said nothing.He obviously won't agree with me, he is the kind of person who has a goal and must achieve it.I don't know why I said this to him, maybe I just want him to understand, maybe I am indeed a little loose, but this is my nature, I like this kind of life, there is nothing wrong with it.

I remembered a test I did with Jiang Rui recently, about eating big grapes and small grapes first. "There is a test that asks you if you eat grapes, should you eat the big ones or the small ones first. I should be the kind of person who eats the big grapes first. If I finish the small grapes first, I might not have the appetite to eat the big grapes." Where are the grapes? If you can live happily now, why think so far." He said softly, "What if there were never big grapes?" "what……" I was stunned, thinking of his family, my heart suddenly felt a pang of sadness, I have never felt like I am not passing shit like now. "No, I did." He said suddenly again, "It's just that the only big grape ran away in anger." He ran away in anger... Was it Rong Rong?I think of it, the last few dinners, they didn't sit together, and they didn't seem to talk much... The thin and slender Rong Rong turned into a plump grape. I couldn't help laughing when I was disappointed, but seeing his serious appearance, I was too embarrassed to laugh, and just said: "She will run again. back." "Really?" Zhuang Xu actually asked seriously, which made me feel as if my answer was very important.However, I am not Rongrong. However, his urgency to get an affirmative answer made me nod involuntarily. Maybe he just needs a word of comfort from others. "Really." I said very seriously. He didn't speak any more, just smiled, as if suddenly relieved. In his memory, Zhuang Xu had never laughed like this before, as if the fog cleared, and the clouds opened and the moon shone brightly.I was a little dazed by his smile, and I was doubly lost when I recovered. Such a smile is not for me, and I will never see it again in the future.I was driven by this sudden sense of loss, and suddenly called out his name, "Zhuang Xu!" There was still a lingering smile in his eyes. "how?" For a moment I wanted to say something, it was my last effort, but suddenly I remembered, hadn’t I done the last effort many times before? Moreover, I didn't know that he and Rongrong were interested in each other at that time, but now that I know, I should stay away anyway. "Nothing, call me whatever you want." He looked at me without blinking, as if he wanted me to say something. "It's really called casually..." There seemed to be some disappointment in his eyes, I suspected that I was wrong, and felt that he probably just thought I was bored and a little impatient. After a moment of silence, he looked away, "A few more steps away, there seems to be a place that sells shoes. You can change your shoes." Is there anyone setting up a stall so late?But there is no use. "I have no money." I had to remind him, "Didn't you bring any money?" He seemed to be choking a little. "Just go, it's not about the shoes," I said. Afterwards we didn't say anything more, we walked all the way at a slow pace, back to school, and when we reached the fork in the dormitory area, I said "goodbye" which I had been planning for a long time. I was about to stride forward vigorously, but I heard him say, "I'll take you downstairs." "No..." I wanted to say no, but when I raised my head, I saw his expression was so soft and tender in the night, so I swallowed my words. Such an expression shouldn't be facing me at this moment, so maybe it's not for sending me off?Maybe Rong Rong is waiting for him downstairs? Then why should I pretend to be passionately rejected, so I didn't say anything, and walked towards the dormitory in silence. When I was about to arrive, I couldn't help but look down the dormitory to see if it was as I expected, Rong Rong waited. downstairs. The downstairs was empty. I was a little surprised, but it didn't make me happy. I really wish Rong Rong had waited there, so that I could go upstairs cleanly and forget about them, instead of just thinking about it like this, we have a few more minutes alone. How pathetic. And, it's time to say "goodbye" again. This time we really have to see each other again, and there is no longer a way for him to accompany me to finish the walk. We stopped in front of the dormitory at the same time. For a moment we were silent with each other, and I lost the crispness of saying goodbye just now.Maybe that kind of strength is only enough for one time. I stepped up the steps and couldn't help turning around again. "Zhuang Xu." "Huh?" He hadn't left yet, standing at the bottom of the steps, looking up at me upon hearing this.I have never seen him from this angle, so I never knew that the way he looks up at people slightly is so good-looking. Driven by inexplicable emotions, I said without thinking: "You still look better with short hair." Best to wear a white shirt, light blue jeans... Just like that day when I was having dinner at my uncle's house, when I heard the door ring, I ran to open the door and saw the boy. "Hello, is this Mr. Jiang's house? I'm Zhuang Xu." The boy asked politely. Then I looked at you blankly: "Zhuang Xu?" You answered calmly and calmly: "Yes." I was stunned, as if that moment was before my eyes. "What else?" He was not impatient, and asked me patiently. "No more." I lowered my head. The two became quiet again, there was absolutely nothing to talk about, I should go upstairs, but I couldn't bear it, there would never be such a time in the future. It would be great if the night never ends. It would be great if the stars never set. It would be great if you could stand here with me all the time. But there is no if, no more, today is the end. Obviously it was the moment of parting, but my mind was full of eternity, standing brazenly without saying goodbye, silent, he actually didn't speak, and stood silently with me. But how long can this moment be delayed?I took a deep breath and looked at him. "I'm going up." I ran upstairs and looked at him from the window on the second floor, and he was almost out of my sight.Before the green trees completely covered his back, I suddenly couldn't control myself and called him loudly. "Zhuang Xu." He stopped and turned around. He is already too far away, I can't see his expression clearly, so he must not be able to see me clearly either. So I wept happily without any scruples, and waved to him vigorously. Goodbye, Zhuang Xu! I still like you, I still like you, but it seems that I suddenly feel relieved. It's good to know that you will always be somewhere, Zhuang Xu. Then, from now on, if I don't like you, the sky will be brighter. end of university ——We broke up that night, thinking about goodbye alone and thinking about the future alone.