Chapter 71 Chapter Nineteen Those You Don't Want to Admit

"Can I go to the rooftop to blow some air?" Sheng Huainan didn't know what to answer.The other party still had stubborn eyes, glaring and tough, and his attitude was so blunt that he didn't seem to be asking politely. Come on, the balcony is not my house.He thought to himself, and a gentle smile naturally appeared on his face, "Of course, why are you so polite." Zheng Wenrui took a step forward, and asked with an aggressive smile, "Then are you going to leave soon?" He used to think that this girl hated him so much that she wanted to use naked means to drive him away.Later, after the other party's vicious confession like debt collection, as smart as he was, he instantly understood the other party's vicious tone and expression by analogy.As Luo Zhi said, everyone has a skin that he drew himself, and Zheng Wenrui's skin must be a ghost, with harsh words and expressions, only to cover up his inner bewilderment.

Hate the word, sometimes it's just a cover for "unloved". You can see the embarrassment that will be brought about by rejection and indifference. It is better to draw a face with strong bones and brows at the beginning to glare at the other party. Sheng Huainan knew that this kind of condescending analysis was based on the fact that the other party fell in love with him, and that he didn't care about the other party.His sympathy and understanding are better than trampling and ignoring in the eyes of some people, while in the eyes of some people, his hypocrisy is a kind of bullying and contempt that is more serious than insulting.

The gentle smile just now was withdrawn by him a little bit, he sighed, and said lightly, "This is not my balcony, so you can come if you like. This is not your balcony, so I can leave whenever I want." Zheng Wenrui was stunned, and finally lowered her noble forehead, muttering, "I, I'm not driving you away." Sheng Huainan felt that the atmosphere was beginning to change towards a strange ambiguity.If it was normal, he would have flashed to the door as soon as possible, politely told her to be careful of catching a cold in winter, and then explained that he had a headache due to the blowing, so he hurried back to the dormitory to sleep, and then with sufficient reasons, he politely and unkindly— — run away.

But I can't tell the reason, he didn't make ends meet, he turned straight and went back to the railing to see his scenery, but no matter how he pretended to have nothing and no self, it was just superficial.The scorching gaze shining from behind was not an illusion. In his memory, he could not laugh or cry under that gaze again and again. He didn't need to turn his head to know that Zheng Wenrui was standing behind him, staring at him motionlessly, with the way of staring at his father and enemy. . The phone in his pocket vibrated, it was still Ye Zhanyan's call.When Luo Zhi entered the library just now, she said flatly, "I have your phone number", without even a single crack on her face.

Just like when I saw Ye Zhanyan's text messages at the playground, the embarrassing and unnatural crack in her expression has been healed flawlessly without knowing when. "Hey." "Huainan, do you have a test tomorrow?" "Yep." "Come on. I just called to tell you that my father gave me two tickets. The Pauli Theater is showing "An Enemy of the People". Alright, let's go see it together!" Ye Zhanyan's voice was like a bunch of small bottles of calcium gluconate oral solution bumping together, clear and bright, but when it reached his ears, it became a big mess.

"Huainan?" He wanted to say, let's talk. From the day you showed up, you pretended that the year-long gap in between never existed. Maybe being good at pretending is a good way to bridge the gap. Maybe not. "Well, let's talk. I have something to do, so hang up first. Take care of yourself." Still didn't get to the bottom of it.There's a test tomorrow, he thought. Whether it is love or not love, truth or illusion, wishful thinking on the phone, or unrequited wishes behind the scenes, let go of all your wild thoughts, and he should go back to the library.

Learn. Even in the third year of high school, Ye Zhanyan asked him if he was kidnapped on the day of the college entrance examination, would he put down the exam and run to rescue her. Even if this question is not much better than "who do you save first when my mother and I fell into the water at the same time". Even if he vowed that the college entrance examination can be repeated, there is no second Ye Zhanyan in the world. Even then he meant it. Even at that time deeply in love. Faced with the life-threatening choice of life and death, he would naturally let go of the college entrance examination once a year, which is like rushing to a temple fair.But Ye Zhanyan didn't know that if she asked to break up with him on the day of the college entrance examination, or asked him to make a choice between love and the college entrance examination-maybe he would throw her away faster than calculating addition, subtraction, multiplication and division within one hundred.

Sheng Huainan might never understand such things as being crazy about love. He picked up his schoolbag on the ground and strode towards the exit. "Are you leaving?" Zheng Wenrui didn't block his way, nor was he aggressive, this time he was very calm. "Well, go to self-study." "I just kept counting to see how long your politeness can last. The result is, 207 seconds, less than four minutes. In fact, you really don't have to pretend that you don't hate me. Really." "I haven't." Sheng Huainan didn't bother to explain. "You don't hate me on the surface, but you actually hate me. I hate you on the surface, but I don't at all. What you suffer is a short-term small grievance, and what I suffer is a long-term big grievance."

An unknown fire suddenly swept through the whole body. Sheng Huainan came out of the library and tried so hard to restrain his emotions until now. Finally, he was completely defeated by irritability. He frowned, stared at her clearly, and said, "No one can I will suffer for you, unless you ask for it." Zheng Wenrui didn't confront Sheng Huainan, instead she averted her eyes from Sheng Huainan's gaze. "Yes, I asked for it. Not only did I ask for it, I tortured myself, but I also always let you know that I was uncomfortable and made you feel guilty. I am a hateful person. look, right?"

"right." Throwing out the word coldly, he turned his head sideways. In fact, it is still a little unbearable. "You're a bit weird, but... But it's not as bad as you imagined. And I, I'm not as good as you imagined, each other." After all, he added a few words gently. "No," Zheng Wenrui smiled palely, "You always thought that I, like them, worshiped you as a perfect statue? They are all girls with conditions and capital, and they love you It's because they love to dream and have the capital to dream, so they imagine you too well. I don't have the capital to dream, so I always watch and wait like a thief. Every one of you, every one of you, I watch Clearly, including myself."

She laughed, laughed until she bent down, laughed until she knelt down and hugged her knees, laughed until she cried. "They love you, some love you as their own achievements, some love you as their own glory, and some love you as their ideals and obsessions. What do I love you for? I love your indifference, You're selfish, you only see what's good, you look down on mediocre people around you, you're smart, you're conceited, you're sane—but what I like the most is that every time you pretend to be gentle and polite, every time you I put on that skin and walked out of the dormitory and approached the crowd, I watched from behind, and saw that it was riddled with holes, I still like it.” A gust of wind blew the corner of Sheng Huainan's clothes, and the iron zipper hit his face, which was cold and painful.Zheng Wenrui's words were sharp and ruthless, a little sour and numb, and even biased, but every word still pierced into his heart. "How can I not like you? No matter how much you see your ugly side, I still like it, what should I do? Do you think I really want to stare at you with resentment? I'm not staring at you, I'm staring at that Make fun of my God!" He grabbed the doorknob and squeezed it lightly twice. "I like the advantages that you know that others know, and the shortcomings that you know but others don't, and even include all the parts that you don't know or you don't want to admit at all. What should I do? " Zheng Wenrui cried blood, but when he looked up, he saw Sheng Huainan's cold smile. "I'm sorry," he said with a smile, "I'm in a hurry and can't help you." The iron gate was pulled open, but his walking posture was still proud and high-spirited.