Chapter 37 Chapter 36 The Youth of the Bystander

That afternoon she was sitting in front of the desk, with a few locks on her forehead wet by the rain, sticking to her emotions, swimming in the lower reaches of her skin. Anger, grievance, puzzlement, sadness would come up if she didn't pay attention, but she ignored it. .Open Chandler's, fascinated until 8 o'clock in the evening, then start to do homework of mathematical statistics, then do laundry, then clean the room, then turn off the light and go to sleep, unexpectedly fell asleep very quickly, without dreaming, and the next morning was refreshing Feel free to go to self-study.

She is often moved by small details, but when something really happens, she is indifferent.It's as if there is another stronger Luo Zhi in the depths, usually lurking and letting her take charge of the body and gossip, but at critical moments, he will take over the body and occupy the soul without saying a word, leaving the sensitive and worrying her aside. As long as you have free time, go to memorize words.She applied for IELTS in mid-December.Spin like a top all day long. I read until half past eleven, and my eyes hurt a little.After washing up, she lay on the bed and tried to fall asleep.It may be that I drank too much coffee during the day to improve efficiency and couldn't sleep.I took out the Walkman and started listening, but found that I only stored the text of New Concept 4, and there was nothing else to listen to.

She can't listen to New Concept 4, she will go crazy. Belle hasn't come back yet.She thought about it over and over again, and suddenly remembered the scene at the end of the second year of high school, when she sat on the steps and listened to the first lesson of New Concept 4 but couldn't understand it at all. She laughed, smiled, shed tears for some reason, and then unstoppable. I got up and washed my face, changed my clothes, put on my headphones, it was already past midnight, and I went for a walk. Yesterday, or the day before yesterday, it rained all night and stopped yesterday morning.The weather was already extremely cold, so she shrank her neck back and walked towards the commercial district in the south.There were still bright lights, and although all the shops were closed, there were still people talking and laughing loudly in the few restaurants that were open 24 hours.Occasionally there are a few pedestrians on the street, and there are more flying garbage.

When she walked to Chiba Building, she looked up, and the large advertisement that caught her eyes was white crystal. Swarovski. She suddenly thought of Ye Zhanyan. In other words, she never forgot Ye Zhanyan for a moment, even more than Belle put Chen Mohan's photo in her wallet. The one that was hidden by her subconscious, never mentioned in front of him, but left a small tail for herself to play with carefully, Sheng Huainan's ex-girlfriend. As for why she avoided it, she didn't know.Maybe it's out of pity for myself, maybe it's out of scheming. She could no longer remember the motive.

Her dark motives slowly merged with its pure disguise, and every day a thin film was buckled on her body, and the longer it took, the more painful it would be to tear it off. In the same class for two years, she and Ye Zhanyan hardly had any friendship.Maybe they will say hello when they meet, but they will only smile politely when they can't dodge.More often than not, she would turn her head to look at the portraits of physicists on the wall or popular science knowledge of geography to avoid the greeting—the angry Einstein and the cold face of Newton as if someone owed him several catties of apples— ——She and Ye Zhanyan have nothing against each other, this kind of avoidance and indifference is not only aimed at her alone.She thinks she's been fine with most people.

It's safe and sound, it's a bit rustic to say this sentence.In the summer class of the second year of high school, Zhang Ailing's books were popular. To describe this feeling, it is best to say "the present world is stable, and the years are quiet and good".She hadn't read Zhang Ailing's book, so she was slightly shocked when she heard the words "the world is stable, the years are quiet and good".But what made her even more strange was why they calmed down and sighed after they finished speaking, as if these eight words were some unattainable fantasy.

Her life, at least on the surface, is quiet and good. She never cared about how other people lived and how they lived.But I have to admit that every time I see Ye Zhanyan's youthful and sincere smile, she will be a little envious.Sometimes she also wonders, will she regret after many years that she didn't put on beautiful clothes and comb her fashionable hairstyle and stand in the sun and smile like that when she was young? It's not that I don't envy.Another, more colorful youth. She often looks at herself in the full-length mirror in front of the main staircase, rather than grooming herself.The girl in the mirror was slightly pale, with a delicate face and calm eyes.Maybe it's narcissism, maybe it's self-pity, maybe there's no difference between the two feelings at all.She likes to hold the paper in her arms tightly and walk down the long corridor with her head down. Whenever this happens, she feels proud of herself for no reason.Over the years, only this kind of unreasonable pride has bound her like a shadow, as if she is not lonely, or her pride comes from this reserved loneliness-she doesn't know.

On March 24, the break of the second class in the morning.Before she reached the door of the class, she heard the cheers and applause inside.Ye Zhanyan was standing in front of the podium, surrounded by a group of people, his wheat-colored skin was slightly flushed, and his beautiful face not only retained the usual publicity and confidence, but also had a little bit of shyness, which was very special. She walked around to the back door of the class, walked back to her seat in the third row, glanced at the boiling classroom, and knew that there was no chance to seize the podium to distribute papers.When she was sitting down, she saw Xu Qiqiao at the same table laughing secretly, looking at her from the corner of her eyes from time to time, with a clear expression on her face: "Ask me, I know a lot of inside information."

She arranged the paper and smiled slightly. "What's wrong?" Before the word "le" was finished, Xu Qiqiao hurriedly said, "Sheng Huainan from class three confessed to her." She was stunned for less than a second, then continued to smile stiffly, straightened the pencil case on the table and said nothing.Xu Qiqiao glanced at her several times before she realized that her performance was a bit irritating. She only gave this kind of reaction to such a breaking news. No wonder Xu Qiqiao was a little unhappy. That girl who made gossip career the focus of her life Already started to curl his lips.She knew very early on that Xu Qiqiao didn't want to be transferred to sit next to her, it was simply because of her indifference, and the head teacher did it because of this.

She asked in a timely manner, "Are you using text messages to express your love?" "You heard? How did you know?" Ye Zhanyan's mobile phone was being passed around, and Ye Zhanyan was scrambling back to snatch it from the corner of the eye, with anxious and happy eyes all around.She shrugged, her face was a little stiff with a smile, and she said, just look at the situation. "Yes, guess what Sheng Huainan said?" The mobile phone was passed around them, the girl in the front row turned her head and threw the mobile phone on her table, she was stunned, Ye Zhanyan had already rushed over, Xu Qiqiao quickly snatched the mobile phone away, and Ye Zhanyan bumped into her from the side It's solid.

It seems that when I close my eyes, I can clearly recall the swelling and pain of the cheekbone. Everyone asked if it was okay, and they were still laughing.She didn't bother to rub her face, and hurriedly said to Ye Zhanyan, who was blushing, are you okay? Ye Zhanyan shook her head, stood up straight and yelled, you unconscionable people, hurry up and get my mother's mobile phone!Xu Qiqiao's hoarse voice rang out almost at the same time, Ye Zhanyan Ye Zhanyan Sheng Huainan called! The classroom was boiling again. Ye Zhanyan snatched the phone and fled through the door. A few boys behind shouted loudly, Ye Zhanyan, please don't tell Sheng Huainan that "they bully my wife"! Sheng Huainan.She remembered this name. At that time, this man was standing on the steps with a ball in his arms. The setting sun shone from behind him and filled her eyes with warmth. He smiled so hard that his eyes crooked and told her that my name is Sheng Huainan. In the first year of high school, when she heard this name again, she felt a sense of dislocation in time and space. Luo Zhi lay on the table, put the earphones into her ears and closed her eyes, the sound of the Scottish bagpipes overshadowed the hustle and bustle outside. That album was called Irish Thrush, God knows why. After about five minutes of class, Ye Zhanyan knocked on the door and walked into the classroom. Many people laughed secretly, and the English teacher glared at Ye Zhanyan without saying anything.The English teacher always spoke in a high-pitched voice, but her voice was extremely weak in that class, and she seemed unaware of the hidden chatter and laughter in the classroom.Xu Qiqiao had been passing notes to the girls at the back table, but Luo Zhi was impatient to finish listening to that album. After one get out of class, the class ended again. Everyone's enthusiasm was still high, and they surrounded Ye Zhanyan to ask questions.Luo Zhi lowered her head and quietly walked up to the podium and began to write. It would have been fine to say it directly, but I didn't want to yell "Everyone be quiet" hoarsely at this time, and I didn't want to spoil the atmosphere.It's a great sin to spoil the scenery, and she doesn't want to spoil everyone's happiness.She wrote down all the math teacher's requirements for handling the monthly exam papers in the corner of the blackboard. After finishing writing, she turned around and found a boy standing at the front door of the classroom. At that moment, only her position could see him. "Are you looking for someone?" she asked. "Oh, sorry to trouble you, I'm looking for Ye Zhanyan." The boy had a nice and gentle smile and a voice that was even more intoxicating than a smile.She nodded and shouted to the hot spot in the middle of the classroom, Ye Zhanyan! Originally, her voice was not loud, but now she was overwhelmed by the noise from the classroom.She yelled twice but no one paid any attention to her. She greeted everyone's mother fiercely in her heart, and smiled softly at the boy at the door and said, wait a moment. Go down the podium to find Ye Zhanyan, control your expression, try to put on a mysterious look, and tell her, there is a handsome guy looking for you at the door. As expected, everyone booed again. Like all the passers-by, she took a curtain call, turned around and returned to the blackboard to write the math teacher's nagging instructions stroke by stroke. If someone really pays attention to her and really wants to get to know her, they will definitely be able to see that Luo Zhi, who has always been indifferent, showed a gossipy smile in front of everyone for the first time that day. The fluster and want to cover up, however, no one noticed her subtle changes. She wrote earnestly and vigorously without looking back. She believed that the door must be full of people. The angle that only she saw two minutes ago is now crowded with people. They lived in this school for three years, and gradually everyone's faces became familiar. Whether it was in the boiling water room or in the canteen, even if they couldn't tell each other's name and class, they would still recognize each other when they saw it on the street. Immediately realized that this person used to stop and go in a school with her. However, Sheng Huainan asked her seriously at the skating rink, do you often stay in the classroom, why have I never seen you? Even she herself doubted whether she really existed.