Chapter 36 epilogue the end of the nightmare

1 A midsummer noon. Bill stood naked at Mike.In Hanlon's bedroom, he looked at his thin body in the mirror.The top of his bald head glistened in the sunlight.The sun cast a long shadow in front of him.He looked at himself in the mirror and thought: This is still an adult body.But time is merciless.Wrinkles have creeped up on his brow—something you don't have at 17.Now you are too old to do the things you want to do.You will kill both of you. He puts on shorts. "If we believed that, we wouldn't -- wouldn't do the things we did," he thought.Because he couldn't remember what they had done, or what had given Audra catatonic.He only knew what to do now, because he knew that if he didn't do it now, even that would be forgotten.Audra sits downstairs on Mike's recliner, her hair hanging over her shoulders, engrossed in watching the television.She never spoke, and only moved around when she was led.

It's different now.You are old.admit it. I do not believe. Then die in Derry.What a big deal. He put on his sports socks, the jeans he had just bought, and the orange T-shirt he had bought from Bangor yesterday."Where the hell is Derry? Maine?" written across his chest. Sitting on the edge of the bed he'd spent the last week with his warm, dead-cold wife, he put on his sweatshirt. Shoes, also just bought back from Bangor yesterday.Now he stands up and takes another look at himself in the mirror.He saw a big man dressed as a child even though he was middle-aged. You look funny.Aren't kids funny?But you are not a child anymore.

"Fuck it. Let's rock and roll," Bill said softly, leaving the room. 2 In those dreams that were still going on, he always left Derry alone at dusk. The town of Derry is deserted; the people are gone.He could clearly hear the echo of his shoes on the concrete floor.Other than that, there was only the hollow sound of running water in the sewers. 3 He pushed the Silver Arrow up the driveway, set it there, and checked the tires again.The front tire is fine, the rear tire is a bit flat.He took out Mike's pump and pumped it up, and checked the cards hanging on the wheel.

And the rattling of a machine gun that he remembered from childhood.awesome. You are crazy. Maybe.We'll see. He turned and went back to Mike's garage, took out the bottle of "3-in-1", and put some oil on the chain and the teeth.He stood up, looked at the silver arrow, and lightly rang the car bell.It can still ring.He nodded with satisfaction and went back into the house. 4 He saw the places again, intact as before: Derry Elementary, the Happy Bridge, the high school graduates ready to make their way in this wonderful world; he saw Paul against the bloody sky.Bunyan's statue, the crooked white fence that lined the sidewalk on Kansas Avenue.He saw the sights still the same, and always as he remembered them... His heart was breaking from love and fear.Leave, leave Derry, he thought.We are leaving Derry.If this is a story, then the story is coming to an end.The sun was setting.The only sound in the world is my footsteps and the running water in the sewer.it's time.

5 Audra sat motionless in front of the TV, her eyes fixed on the screen.When Bill turned off the TV, her expression didn't change a bit. "Audra." He walked over and took her hand. "Come." She didn't respond.Her hand was in his, like a warm wax figure.Bill dressed her.She would have been a lovely and charming woman if it hadn't been for those empty eyes. "Come on," he said again, leading her into Mike's kitchen and out again.She followed obediently. Bill led her to Silver Arrow.Audra stood aside, staring blankly at Mike's garage. "Come on, Audra."

She didn't respond.Bill patiently helped her onto the back seat of the bike and gently patted the top of her head before she sat down. Bill stepped onto the car seat, ready to take Audra's little hand and wrap it around his waist.At this moment, those little hands reached out and hugged him.Bill looked at the hands and his heart beat wildly.This is the first time Audra has done it independently in a week... Being able to act on its own for the first time since it happened to be... whatever it was. "Audra?" no answer.He wanted to look back at Audra, but couldn't turn around.All he could see was the pair of small hands wrapping around his waist. "Let's go for a drive," Bill said, riding slowly. "Hold me tight, Audra. I think...I think I can ride faster."

If I still have the guts I had back then. He thought of the kid he had met when he first arrived in Derry, when he was still alive.How can you be careful when skateboarding, the kid said. That's so true, boy. "Audra, are you ready?" There was no answer, did her hand tighten a little?It might just be his good wishes. He sped out of the driveway and looked to the right.Palmer Lane leads to North Main Street, from where it turns left and goes downhill.Going downhill, the speed will increase.He could not help feeling a shudder of terror at the thought; the uneasy thought flashed through his mind.

But...but it's not exactly fear, is it?right.That was a desire too... He felt a desire when he watched the kid walk past with the skateboard in his hands.Longing to fly, longing to hear the wind whizzing by around me.Restlessness and longing, the world and longing—like the difference between an adult who counts his gains and losses all the time and a child who does what he says and never thinks about the consequences. Restlessness and longing.Everything you yearn for and everything you dare not try. Bill closed his eyes, feeling the weight of his dead wife behind him, feeling the hillside somewhere ahead, feeling the beating of his own heart.

Be brave, be realistic, and stop. He rode forward slowly. "Want to hear rock music, Audra?" No answer, but that's okay, he's ready.He started to pick up speed. At first I couldn't ride it.The silver arrow swayed violently, and Audra's weight made it harder for him to keep his balance...but she must have been trying to keep her balance, though unconsciously, or they would have fallen over.Bill stood on the pedals, gripping the handlebars with both hands, his head thrown back, his eyes narrowed into slits. About to fall down on the street.The fall knocked our brains out—he stood on the pedals and pedaled hard, feeling his own heart beating violently. ~ A burst of ecstasy made him laugh uncontrollably.Bill heard the crisp, sweet crackling of the cards and felt a breeze on his bald head.He smiled happily.There is a "parking" sign at the end of the alley.Bill stopped the car and took another breath.Then go around the signboard and turn left.Audra rocked the car.Several times they were almost thrown out of the car.

The wind grew louder, drying the sweat on his forehead.Bill listened to the wind whistling in his ears like the sound of the sea in a conch shell. He rode faster, balancing the speed.Bill yelled, "Ha-yo, Silver Arrow. Tide!" Audra's arms wrapped tightly around his waist.Bill felt her against his back.But there's no need to look back at her now... there's no need.He pedaled harder again, laughing.People turned to look at him in bewilderment. Ahead is Main Street North.He heard a voice in the bottom of his heart warning him, stop quickly, or they will both be thrown to death.But instead of braking, Bill accelerated.They are like arrows leaving the string, rushing down the mountain.Rush to the place he longed for.

He rode the silver arrow down the hill, riding fast. 6 leave. You just walk away, suddenly with a longing to look back and take one last look at New England in the setting sun—the pointed roofs, the water towers, Paul with the ax slung over his shoulder. But maybe it's best not to look back.It's best to believe that after this journey, there is endless happiness ahead-it is entirely possible; who said there is no such ending?Not all ships sailing into darkness never see the sunrise again.What life teaches us is that there are many happy stories in life. You leave, and when the sun is about to set, leave quickly.This is what you should do.Don't hang on to those innocent childhood confidants all the time.In your memory, in your thoughts, no matter what, there will be a space to be with them forever, to love them forever.So get out, before the last light fades, out of Derry, out of childhood memories...but don't lose your longing.Let it inspire us every now and then. No matter how dark the night is, no matter how cold the wind is, our eyes are always full of hope.Our hearts are always beating together.We never lose ourselves. Go away, always with a smile on your face.Go forward bravely, find your ideals, and seize your beliefs.Don't be afraid, don't hold back.Life will give you strength. 7 Silver arrows seem to travel in the wind.Ahead was the isolation pier. He saw the huge black hole in the middle of the street, and heard the gurgling flood rushing towards the entangled darkness.The sound made him laugh out loud. Driving the Silver Arrow, he swerved sharply to the left, passing the barrier and within three inches of the black hole in the middle of the avenue.He almost lost control.There is a vast ocean in front of you. "Bill?" It was Audra's voice, hazy and hoarse, as if she had just woken up from a dream. "Bill, where are we? What are we doing?" At this moment, Bill had no time to answer Audra's question. "Ha-yo, Silver Arrow!" Bill yelled loudly, and the car rushed straight towards the barricade. "Ha-yo, Silver Arrow. Let's go!" The Silver Arrow crashed into the barricade at 40 miles per hour, almost smashing the car body.Audra screamed and hugged Bill tightly, strangling him almost out of breath. Pedestrians coming and going on the street stood on the side of the road, watching this thrilling scene. The silver arrow flew out and landed on the sidewalk whose roadbed had already been washed away by the flood.The left side of Bill's body hit the wall of the jewelry store.Bill felt the rear wheels of the car dip suddenly and realized that the pavement was sinking behind them.However, Silver Arrow is very competitive.Dash forward and get them onto solid road.Bill swerved sharply, past an overturned trash can, and the car landed in the middle of the street again.He saw a truck coming towards them, but couldn't help laughing.Just a second before the truck came over, the flying car passed the narrow passage.While he was yelling loudly, tears welled up in his eyes. "Bill, you're going to kill us both!" Audra yelled.There was fear in her voice, but she was laughing out loud. Bill leaned to one side, and this time he felt Audra sideways with him, giving the bike more control. "Do you think that's true?" he exclaimed. "I don't think so, I know it is!" She hugged Bill even tighter. "But please don't stop!" Bill, however, said nothing.He stopped the car and turned to look at her.She was so pale, her eyes wide open, obviously full of fear and confusion...but she was awake, and she was laughing. "Audra." He smiled too.He took her off the bicycle, hugged her warmly, kissed her affectionately, kissed her smooth forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her lips... She also hugged him tightly. "Bill, what's the matter? All I remember is I got off the plane in Bangor, and I don't remember anything after that. Are you all right?" "fine." "And me?" "It's okay, now." She pushed him away gently to watch him carefully. "Bill, do you still stutter?" "No." Bill kissed her gently. "My stutter has healed." "Forever?" "Yes," he said, "I think it's for good this time." "I love you," she said. Bill smiled and nodded.He looked so young when he smiled. "I love you too," he said. "What is more important than you?" 8 When he woke up from the dream, he forgot everything except that he had returned to his childhood in the dream.He stroked his wife beside him, watching her sleep soundly.Maybe she was dreaming her own dream too.It's good to be a child, he thought, but it's not bad to be an adult either.Adults can recall childhood and explore past ideals and beliefs.One day I'm going to write it all down, he thought.He knew it was just a whim after waking up. But think of it this way in the stillness of the morning, the sweetness, ideals, and longings of childhood, and such memories make you believe in the shortness of human life, and fill your heart with courage and love.Such memories tell you that when you move forward without hesitation, you should also look back and think about the past from time to time.Life is a spinning wheel, repeating the past stories.Only in this way can life become eternal. Therefore, Bill Bangbang often thinks about the past in the morning after waking up from the dream.At this time, he will return to his childhood and share the warm friendship with those dear companions. Work on this book began on September 9, 1981 and was completed in Bangor, Maine on December 28, 1985