Chapter 12 Chapter 8 In the Dark 1

A summer storm and the failure of two generators brought the series to an end, bringing devastation and death. The storm happened on August nineteenth, about five months after Andy and Charlie were caught at Grandpa's cottage in Vermont.In this August day, just after noon, the clouds began to brew lightning.But in two pretty houses surrounded by green lawns and well-trimmed flower beds, people were busy at work.No one—neither the lawn mender nor the woman running the computer room riding a horse at lunchtime—was aware that a storm was looming.And Karp was eating a sandwich in his air-conditioned room and working on his budget for next year, oblivious to the heat and humidity outside.

Perhaps the only person in Longmont who had a premonition of the approaching storm that day was the man named for the rain, the Indian who came at +30!Base, report to work at exactly one o'clock.Whenever the heavy rain came, his bones and the empty socket of his left eye would always ache. He was driving a beat-up Reu now, with a mouth-grade stop plate on the front windshield.Over his clothes was a handyman's white coat.Before getting out of the car, he put a blindfold on the blind eye.He only wears it for the girl at work.This made him very uncomfortable.Because only the blindfold reminded him that he was missing an eye.

There are four parking spaces in total.It turned out that Rain Bird's own car was a brand new yellow Cadillac with a Class A parking plate. A is the VIP (important person) parking place, located underground at the southernmost end of the two houses.Underground tunnels and elevators will park the VIP's and computer rooms.State Analysis Room, Ita's general library.Newsroom, directly connected.Connected to this, of course, are the "Visitor's Quarters"—seven vaguely titled names for several specialized libraries and the cells next to them where Charlie and her father were held.

Section B is the parking area for secondary employees.It's farther away. Department C is the secretary.Parking for technicians, electricians etc. to enter. Section D is reserved for low-level staff—in Rainbird's own words, those who do the tricks, and it's in a secluded corner, usually a half mile or so from other places.It's usually stuffed with cheap Detroit cars, and it's a barely working pile of scrap metal. Even parking is a bureaucracy, Rain Bird thought as he stuck his head out to look at the cumulus clouds overhead.A storm is coming, perhaps as early as four, he thought.

He made his way to the small door that was reserved for low-level—five or six—employees to and from get off work. White coats fluttered up and down in the wind.That's when a worker pulled up next to Rain Bird's car with a lawn trimmer.He has a gorgeous parasol over his seat.The gardener paid no attention to Rainbird.This is also a manifestation of bureaucracy.If you are lucky enough to be a fourth-level worker, then you can treat the fifth-level people with such contempt.Even Rainbird's disfigured half of his face didn't attract much attention, and like all government agencies, Ita employed a large number of employees to maintain its decency.The US government doesn't need a Marxist to bother teaching it how to wear makeup.Needless to say, one employee with a disability (if, of course, a visible disability—a prosthesis, a wheelchair, or a disfigured face) is far more useful than three normal people.Rain Bird knew many people whose minds and spirits were as brutally battered in the Vietnam War as his face.These people would probably be delighted to find a job in a government department like he did.Rain Bird felt no sympathy for them.In fact, he found all of this rather comical.

None of the workers who work with him now recognize him as an Ita agent and killer.For that he was perfectly willing to go.Sixteen weeks ago he was just a shadow behind the windshield of a Cadillac, an A-class mogul. "Don't you think it's a little outrageous?" Karp asked. "The girl has no connection with anyone else, just you and her." Rain Bird shook his head: "As long as there is a slight mistake, as long as someone accidentally mentions that the good guy who ruined half his face parked his car in the eighth parking lot, and only changed into his white coat in the locker room, Then it all goes down the drain. What I'm trying to build is a sense of trust, and it's based on the fact that we're all outsiders — you could call them freaks and you could all be imprisoned in this KGB branch in America."

Cap has always disliked doing this.He didn't like it when his men flouted Ita's rules. Especially this time, they took extreme measures again. "Of course, you've done a great job," Karp replied. That's not a satisfying answer because, in reality, he's not doing a great job.Since coming here, the girl has never lit a match.So did her father.Since coming here, he has never shown any slight signs that he did have mind control.So they are increasingly skeptical about that too. Rain Bird is very much infatuated with this girl.In his first year at Ita, he had taken courses that were not available at any university—wiretapping, car theft, undercover investigation, and many other skills.The only lesson that Rain Bird could concentrate on was how to steal safes.The teacher is a thief named G·M·Ramandan.He was released from an Atlanta prison to teach this course to new members of Ita.He is considered the best thief in the business.And Rain Bird has never doubted this, although now he is almost as good as Lamandan.

Ramandan died three years ago (Rainbird also sent flowers for his funeral - how funny life can be sometimes).He taught them how to open all kinds of safes; how to get the impression of the key; and mocking zeal.Ramandan said that a safe is like a woman, as long as there are tools and time, any box can be opened.Some will be easy, some will be troublesome, but there is absolutely no box that cannot be opened. This girl is a hard box to open. At first they had to put her on an IV so she wouldn't starve herself to death.After a while, Charlie realized that not eating was doing her any favors other than leaving her arms bruised and needle-pocketed.So she began to eat without the slightest enthusiasm, just because it would save her flesh and blood from suffering.

They gave her some books, which she sometimes flipped through at random.Occasionally she would turn on the color TV in the house and turn it off after a few minutes.In June, she watched the series "Black Beauty" from cover to cover, and watched "Disneyland" once or twice, and that was it.The term "occasional aphasia" is becoming more common in weekly reports. Rain Bird looked up the word in the dictionary.He understood right away—for he was an Indian and a warrior himself.He even understood better than some doctors.Sometimes the girl would suddenly be unable to speak.She just stood there, didn't look nervous, but just opened her mouth and couldn't say a word. Later, she would suddenly pop out a word that had nothing to do with the context, and she obviously didn't know it. "I don't like that dress. I want that hay one." Occasionally she would correct herself absent-mindedly—"I mean the green one."—but usually she wouldn't realize her mistake at all. .

The dictionary says "aphasia" is amnesia caused by brain confusion.So Ita's doctors began to dictate her medication.Orison was replaced by Valim, but to no avail.Taking the two drugs at the same time produced an unexpected reaction; she would yell and yell until the effects wore off.A mild new drug of sedative and mild hallucinogen to the eyes seemed to work for a while.But soon she started stuttering again and developed a mild rash.Right now, she is taking Orison again, but the aphasia still occurs from time to time. There are numerous reports discussing Charlie's "basic internal conflicts."

What her father forbids her to do is exactly what Ita asks her to do, and this ambivalence is compounded by the guilt she feels after the incident at Menders Farm. Rain Bird took none of this seriously.It wasn't because of the drugs, it wasn't because she was locked up and under surveillance, and it wasn't because she couldn't see her father. It's just because she's stubborn, that's why. She has made up her mind not to cooperate no matter what.A psychologist can study until the moon rises in the west; a doctor can talk about how hard it is to numb the mind of an eight-year-old girl.Research reports will pile up into a hill.Cap would be furious over it. But Charlie McGee went her own way, and remained stubborn. Rain Bird was as sure of that as he was of rain this afternoon.For this reason, he admired her even more.It was she who made them all go round in circles.They'll keep going like this until Thanksgiving and Christmas if no one stops it, but those people won't let it go on like this forever.Thinking of this, John Rainbird felt a wave of upset. Ramadan - the safe burglar - once told an interesting story. Two thieves broke into a supermarket on a Friday night when they heard that it was unable to send a week's earnings to the bank because of a snowstorm.They tried to dial to open the safe, but failed.Then, they tried to take it apart again, but they couldn't move the corners of the mountain.In the end they blew it up.This method was indeed successful—the safe was completely blown open, but all the money inside was also turned into powder.All that was left were some scraps of paper that looked like money. "The point is," said Ramandan in his hoarse voice, "that the two thieves didn't beat the safe. The whole point of the game is to beat the safe until you can take the money in the safe without damaging it. It's called victory. See? These two jackasses are too eager for success) They ruined the money too. It was the safe that defeated them. Rainbird got his spirit. There may be no less than sixty courses in the university teaching this spirit, but the most vivid image is the opening of the safe. All those idiots are doing now are hoping to use drugs to find the number to open the girl.There was enough of them to make a baseball team, and each was trying to resolve her "basic inner conflict."All these efforts speak of their desire to turn her on violently. Rainbird walked into the cabin, took his business card from the shelf, and typed his work card.The Duty Manager l) Norton, who was reading, looked up at him. "Early doesn't count as overtime, Indian." "yes?" "Yes." Norton looked at him defiantly.People with a little bit of power are so ignorant of the heights of the sky and the earth, and use chicken feathers as arrows. Rain Bird lowered his eyes and walked over to look at the bulletin board.The handymen's bowling team won last night; someone offered to sell "two well-kept" old washing machines; "Looks like it's going to rain," he said, turning to Norton. "Impossible, Indian," said Norton. "Why don't you go away? You're making the place stink." "Go now, sir." Rainbird glanced at Norton's pink neck, the soft part under the jawbone, as he stepped out.Can you call it out?Can you scream if I stick my hand down your throat like a fork into a piece of beef?sir. He stepped out into the stuffy air again.Now the dark clouds were approaching, rolling slowly overhead, bowed under the weight of the rain they carried.It will be a rainstorm.The sound of rolling thunder has been heard in the distance. The house is close at hand. , Rain Bird has to enter through the side door, and then take the elevator down to the fourth floor.Today he was supposed to go to the girl's room to clean and wax the floor; it was a good chance.It's not that the girl doesn't want to talk to him, but because she's always so distant.He was going to open her safe in his own way.If only he could make her smile, even just once, even if he had to make Ita a joke, if she laughed it would be like prying open the key corner of a safe and he would have room for his chisel.If she laughed once, they would become themselves in a secret alliance, two allies against the house. Rainbird showed his work ID to the computer, then made his way to the handymen's break room to grab a cup of coffee.He didn't feel like drinking coffee, but it was too early.He didn't want to show his eagerness; it was too bad Norton was already talking. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down on a battered sofa.His disfigured face (to which Charlie had expressed only fleeting interest) was calm and expressionless, but his mind was active, intensely analyzing the situation. The people here are like those two bumbling thieves in the supermarket in Ramandan's story.They were trolling the girl, but not out of love for her.Sooner or later they will find that this approach is not going to get anywhere.When they finally have to give up their soft hand, they blow the safe.If that was the case, Rain Bird believed—in Ramandan's acid words—they would have "destroyed the money as well. He had seen the words "mild startle treatment" in two of the doctors' reports--one of which was that of Dr. Pinchett, and Dr. Hawkesdanler was obedient to him.Rain Bird had seen a report that was so awkwardly worded that it was almost unreadable. The general idea boils down to the point of view of those who advocate violence: if the child sees her father in great torment, she will give in.But Rainbird thought that if she saw her father tortured, she would turn grimly back into the room, break a glass, and swallow the shards. But you can't tell them that.Like the FBI and CIA, Ita has a long history of doing stupid things.If some foreign leader is not so obedient, bring a detonator, and the explosives will kill the beast.It's just crazy, but you can't tell them that.They just want to see the result, the bright and dazzling result.So they blew up the money and stood there letting useless green paper ashes slip through their fingers and didn't understand what was happening. At this time, other handymen began to come in one after another.They laughed and cursed at each other, and slapped each other's shoulders hard.They talked about cars, women, about the strike they had just had.Same people, same things.Until the end of the world comes, the earth will always be full of such ordinary people.And these ordinary people all avoided Yu Bird, and no one liked him.He looked like a monster out of a horror movie, making them uncomfortable. He took out a bag of tobacco and a crumpled piece of paper, and rolled a cigarette.He just sat there smoking a cigarette, waiting to go to the girl's room. On the whole, he hadn't been in such a good mood for many years.Refreshed.He sensed it and thanked the girl for it.It was she who helped him regain his sense of life for a while in a way that she couldn't understand.She's strong, which is fine. Eventually he will open her (whether it is difficult or easy, but never impossible); He will make her perform for them.After the dance, he would kill her.He would look into her eyes, trying to find that spark of understanding as that life left. Meanwhile, he will live. He stubbed out his cigarette and stood up, ready to go to work. The dark clouds are getting thicker.At three o'clock the sky at Longmont was dark and low.The thunder became louder and louder, deterring all living beings below.The gardeners put down their lawnmowers.The tables on the balconies of both houses were moved back.In the stables, the grooms were trying to calm the horses, which were frenzied by the sound of thunder. At about half-past three, the storm began: heavy rain pouring down) like "quick" gunmen shooting across the ground... The wind roared; it blew from west to east, and then from east to west again. Lightning streaked across the sky Strips of blue and white lightning filled the air with a faint smell of gasoline. Strong winds began to spin in a counterclockwise direction. The evening weather forecast said a small tornado passed through downtown Longmont and lifted the roof of the shopping center. Ita suffered little damage from the storm.Two windows were shattered by hail and a small patio fence post was blown sixty yards away, but that was all lost (aside from broken branches and ruined flower beds - the gardener had more to do) . During the height of the storm, the Police University ran frantically between the two power grids) but when the storm started to die down, they quieted down. The most significant losses were caused by power outages following hail and squally showers.Parts of eastern Virginia lost power as lightning struck Briska's power station and utility poles.The service area of ​​the Briska Power Station includes Ita's headquarters. Cap Hollinster looked up angrily in his office as the lights went out. The hum of the air conditioner fell silent.It was dark for about five seconds, but the lights still didn't come on.Cap murmured "fuck", he didn't understand what happened to their backup power system. He looked out the window, and the dazzling lightning kept tearing the night apart.One of the guards on duty that night later told his wife that he saw a large fireball jumping between the inner and outer grids. Cap walked over to the phone to find out what was going on—just then the lights came on again and the air conditioner started humming.So Karp didn't touch the phone, but picked up the pen. Suddenly, the lights went out again. "Damn it!" Garp yelled.He put down his pen and finally picked up the phone.Before he opened his mouth to curse; a bolt of lightning flashed out the window.He glared at the lightning, but the silver whip was still swinging in the air like no one else. Both of these beautiful homes on the meadow side are powered by the Eastern Virginia Power Authority.But it also has its own two backup systems consisting of diesel generators.One system serves the "critical function"—the grid.Computer terminals (in the age of computers, a power outage can be incredibly costly) and a small hospital.The second system serves secondary functions - lighting, air conditioning.Elevators, and other equipment.If the first system is overloaded, the second system will come for reinforcements;But if the second system is overloaded, the first system will not share the responsibility for it.But on August 19th, both systems were overloaded.When the first system was overloaded, the second system came in for reinforcements just as the electrical engineers had planned (although in reality, they never thought the first system would be overloaded).Then, the generators supporting the two systems began to explode.One after another, like a string of firecrackers.Except the firecrackers are worth about $80,000 each. Later, when a routine inquiry was made above, they were answered with an innocuous "mechanical failure".Although a more definitive conclusion would be ='greed and mercenary' When the back-up power system was installed in 1971, a senator revealed the lowest bid for this small project (like the other $16 million Ita facilities) to The younger brother-in-law is an electrical engineering consultant.He figured it would be easy to win the bid with a budget below the lowest bid simply by cutting expenses here and there. This is just one example of many side deals and unfair competition.We mention it here only because it led to the subsequent destruction and death, and the backup system was only used a few times after it was built.During the storm that destroyed the Briska Power Plant - its first big test - it failed completely.But the chief culprit of the accident, the consultant, was thriving in his career.Right now, he's helping build a multimillion-dollar seaside resort on St. Thomas's Coochie Beach. So ita remained in darkness until the power station at Brisca was restored—that is, at midnight. In this darkness, the second half of the story has begun.One of the many consequences of the storm and the power outage is that both Andy and Charlie have changed dramatically, but neither of them realizes what happened to the other. After a five-month hiatus, the story is back to business as usual 4 Andy was watching TV when the power went out—"PTL Club"). pTL means "praise God".A station in Virginia seems to be broadcasting the show 24 hours a day.While that may not be the case, Andy's sense of time has become so desensitized that it's hard to tell. He got fat.Sometimes when Hou Yi is standing and looking in the mirror, he will think of the singer "Elvis Presley" who became fat as if he was blown out before he died.Other times he thought that a tomcat in captivity would probably get fat and lazy too. He's not too fat yet, but he's heading in that direction.in Hastings.In the bathroom of the Grand Hotel, he weighed himself at 162 pounds.It's almost 190 lbs now.His cheeks became plump, his double chin appeared faintly, and his stomach was clearly sticking out.He had done little exercise since his arrival—nor had he had any desire to do so, especially under the control of drugs—and his meals were plentiful. While he was taking his medication, he didn't worry about his weight.But after he got here, he basically didn't stop the eye medicine.Whenever they wanted to do more experiments, they would keep him in turmoil for eighteen hours, with no results.In the experiment, a doctor will check his physical response) and use EEG to measure his brain waves.He would then be taken to a small white room with paneled walls. April) they started using volunteers in their experiments.They told Andy what to do, and warned that he would be punished in the same way if he went too far in the experiment—like making someone think he was blind.They also hinted that he would not be the only one to be punished in that case.The threat was a complete bluff; he didn't believe they were actually going to hurt Charlie.She is the key, and he is just a secondary character in the game. The doctor in charge of him was Herman Pinchert.This person is in his thirties, and everything is normal, except that he grins a lot.Sometimes that smile made Andy very uncomfortable.Occasionally he was visited by an older doctor, Hawkes Steiner.But usually it's Pinchert. Before the first experiment, Pinchert told him that there was a table in the laboratory with an ink bottle and a pen on the table.A stack of papers and two cups.Pinchert said his task was to convince the volunteers that the inkwell contained water and not something else. Pinchert asked Andy to control the mind of the volunteer so that he would pour himself a glass of water, add the ink, and drink it all. "Great," Andy said.His own feelings are not good at all.At this moment, he misses his chlorpromazine and the peace and tranquility he feels when he takes it. "Excellent," said Pinchet. "Would you like to do that?" "Why?" "You'll be rewarded. Good rewards." "Be a good mouse and you'll get cheese. Yeah?" Andy replied. Pinchet shrugged and grinned.His overalls are exceptionally neat, as if they were made by a famous artist. "Okay," said Andy, "I surrender. Let the poor bastard drink his ink. What's my prize?" "Number one, you can go back to taking your pills." It was so sudden that Andy couldn't take it.Could it be that chlorpromazine will cause tumors in people? If so, is this drug dependence psychological or physical? "Tell me, Pinchert," he said, "what's it like to be a liar? Is that part of your job?" Pinchet shrugged and grinned again. "You can also go for a walk," he said. "I remember you saying you liked walking." Andy does.His room was fine - so good that one almost forgot it was just a cell.In addition to the bathroom, there are three rooms; the room is equipped with a color TV, and three new films can be watched every week.Some quack—probably Pinchort—had pointed out, take his belt.Just letting him eat with a plastic spoon doesn't help at all.Because if he wants to kill himself, there's no way they can stop him.He just needs to keep doing frequent exercises for a long time - at that time, his head will explode like an old tire. Therefore, all kinds of facilities are available in his room, and there is even a microwave oven in the kitchen.All the rooms have been renovated, with thick carpets in the living room and beautiful pictures on the walls.But anyway, dog poop covered in spring cream is still dog poop, and it will never turn into a wedding cake.In these cozy little rooms, none of the doors leading to the outside had handles to open them from the inside.His room was full of looking mirrors, like the ones you put on hotel doors, and there was even one in the bathroom.So Andy thought there was probably nothing in the room they couldn't see.The TV monitor was only his guess, possibly with an infrared device for nighttime surveillance.So it is impossible for him to have any privacy at all. He wasn't claustrophobic, but he didn't like being locked indoors for so long either.It made him nervous, even with medicine.This low-grade nervousness manifests itself in prolonged sighs and episodes of depressed mood.He had asked for a walk outside, he longed for sunshine and grass. "Yes," he said softly to Pinchert, "I want to get out." But he couldn't get out. The volunteer was nervous at first.He had no doubt that Andy would let him stand on his head while clucking like a chicken; or do some other ridiculous thing.His name was Dick Albright, and he was a football fan.Andy gradually led him to talk about last season—which teams were eliminated.Who won the Champions Cup. Albrecht gradually became excited.He spent the next twenty minutes describing Andy all season long.When he was about to talk about the Pets' victory over the Dolphins due to unfair refereeing, Andy said to him, "Have a glass of water if you want. You must be thirsty." Albrecht was taken aback: "Yes, I am very thirsty. Did I talk too much? This would interfere with their experiments, wouldn't it? " "No, it won't," Andy said.He watched Dick Albright pour himself a glass of water. "Would you like some?" "No, you don't have to," said Andy, with a sudden mental push. "Put some ink in there. Will you?" Albrecht glanced at him and went to get the ink bottle.He picked it up, looked at it, and put it back: "Put the ink in there, you must be crazy." After the experiment, Pinchert grinned the same way he had before.But actually he wasn't happy, not at all.So is Andy.When he performed the exercises on Albrecht, he didn't have the feeling of a hand reaching out from his head, and he didn't feel a headache either.He concentrated on trying to make Albrecht think it was a reasonable thing to put the ink in the water and drink it, but what Albrecht gave him was a really reasonable answer: Andy is a madman, except that all this gives him Inflicted pain, he also found out in a panic: his special ability abandoned him. "Why are you hiding it?" Pincher lit a cigarette and asked with a grin, "I don't understand, Andy.What good does it do you? " "I'll tell you again," Andy replied, "I didn't hide. I didn't lie. I have already done my best.That's it. "He missed his little pill. He felt depressed and restless. Too much color, too much light, too much noise around him, and it would have been better if he had taken the pill. With the pill, his helpless anger and being away from Charlie and worrying about her And the worry you feel will subside a little and become bearable. "Unfortunately I don't believe it." Pinchet grinned. "And think again, Andy, we didn't ask you to control someone's mind to make him walk off a cliff, or shoot himself in the head. I thought maybe you didn't." Not wanting to go out like you said." He stood up, ready to leave. "Listen," Andy said, with unquenchable longing in his voice, "I want a pill." "Really?" said Pinchert, "something you might be interested in knowing—I'm reducing your dose... just worried that chlorpromazine might interfere with your psychic abilities." , "Of course, if your ability manifests again..." "There are two things you should know," Andy told him, "one, that guy is nervous as hell, and he knows what I'm going to do, and he's prepared. Two, he's stupid. People with low IQs are hard to control. Smart people are much easier." "Really?" said Pinchet. "real." "Then why don't you use power on me and let me give you a pill? My IQ is 155." Andy had already tried—but to no avail. In the end, they let him go for a walk anyway, and increased the dose of his medication—because they finally found out that he wasn't faking it, but that he was really trying his best, which hadn't produced any results.Both Andy and Pinchett were thinking that taking Charlie from New York to Albany Airport to Hastings Glenn might have exhausted all of his abilities.And they all wondered if it was some kind of psychological disorder.Andy himself believes that his ability is not really gone, but a kind of protection he has taken: Action: His brain refuses to use this function because it knows it will eventually kill him.He hadn't forgotten the numbness in his neck and face.And those bloodshot eyes. Whatever the cause, the result is the same - a big zero.Pincher's dreams of great honor as the first scholar to obtain demonstrable empirical data on the power of mind control in the human body seemed increasingly elusive. The experiment continued in May and June—at first with volunteers and later with ordinary subjects who had no knowledge of what was going on.It doesn't seem very ethical to involve the second type of people in experiments.However, when the LSD (a drug) experiment was carried out, the methods adopted were not completely ethical.Andy was surprised to find that after Pincher weighed the two mistakes in his head.Actually went to the other extreme and came to a conclusion-both are fine.Fortunately none of that mattered, because Andy hadn't been successful with any of them. A month ago, after the Fourth of June, they started experimenting with him and animals. Andy protests that controlling an animal is harder than controlling a fool.But Pinchert and others ignored his protests—they were concerned with conducting scientific research.As a result, Andy found himself locked in the same room as a dog or cat or monkey at least once a week, like a character in a wild novel.He remembered the time he had shown a taxi driver a one-dollar bill and managed to trick him into thinking it was five hundred dollars. He also remembered that he had helped those cowardly clerks overcome their timidity and rebuild their self-confidence and courage.He still remembers that before that, he held a weight-loss training class in Porter, Pennsylvania. The main members of that class were some housewives who lived alone and had a sweet tooth.Those various small foods are a little supplement to their empty lives.He just had to push, because most of them were desperate to lose weight.And he helped them do that.Nor had he forgotten the punishment of the two Ita agents who had kidnapped Charlie. These are all things he used to do but not now.It was even difficult for him to remember the feeling when performing the exercises.So now he just sits in his room, letting the dog lick his hand, listening to the cat barking, and watching the monkey tickle.Sometimes the animals would grin like Pinchet.As can be imagined from the experimental results, none of these animals did anything abnormal.After the experiment, he would be taken back to his room without a doorknob.A blue pill would be waiting for him on a white plate in the kitchen.After taking the medicine, he will no longer be nervous, and the pleasant feeling will return to him.He would turn on the TV and watch a movie.If there is Clint Eastwood, of course; otherwise just watch "PTL Club"). · He lost that ability and became a superfluous person.After taking the medicine, this no longer bothered him so much. He has changed a lot in the past five months, and the weight gain is just one of the signs.He was vaguely aware that the medication was only part of the change, and when Ita took Charlie from him, they took the only remaining pillar of his life.Since Charlie wasn't there—she must be nearby, but what was it like being on the moon—he had no reason to cherish himself. Moreover, the ordeal he had been through had kept his nerves high.这种紧张的生活持续了太久，当它最终结束时，带来的结果就是极度的惰性。 实际上，他相信自己经厉了一场比较缓和的神经崩溃。即使他再见到恰莉，他也不敢确定她是否还能认出自己。想到这点，安迪不禁心情黯然。 他从未打算欺骗品彻特或在实验中作假。他并不认为那样做会连累恰莉，但他在这点上不愿冒丝毫风险。而且按他们说的去做会使事情简单得多。他变得消沉了。在爷爷的门廊上，当他抱着女儿，看着她咽喉上的飞缥而高声尖叫时，他已经耗尽了最后的愤怒。在他心中，已没有任何怒火存留下来。 八月十九日暴风雨来临。当安迪坐着看电视时，他的精神状态就是这样。（PTL俱乐部》的主持人做完号召捐赠的讲演后，向大家介绍了一个福音三重唱。音乐声响起，突然，停电了。 电视图像蓦地变成了一个亮点。安迪一动不动地坐在椅子上，不明白发生了什么。他刚刚习惯了黑暗，灯就又亮了。福音三重唱再次响起，唱着“我接到了来自天上的一个电话，耶稣在跟我通话”。安迪轻松地吁了一口气，然而，灯又灭了。 他坐在那儿，紧紧抓着椅子的扶手，好像他一放手椅子就会飞走一样．他紧紧地盯着屏幕上的亮点；虽然他知道它已消失，他看到的只是视觉留像或者说是一种幻觉。 一两秒钟之后电就会来了，他想，他们会启动备用发电机的。共用供电系统难免要出故障的。 但他仍旧有些害怕。他忽然想起了小时候看过的冒险故事。 书里不止一次提到过在山洞里，灯或蜡烛突然熄灭。而且作者总是用很长的篇幅来描述随之而来的黑暗，像、“可以摸得到的”或“完全的”或“无边无际的”，还有像“黑暗吞噬了汤姆和他伙伴”这样的句子。如果这一切是想让九岁大的安迪·麦克吉心惊胆战的话、那他们可就失败了。对于那时的他来说，如果他想被“黑暗吞噬”，他只须走进壁橱，把门底的门缝塞住就行了。黑暗终究只是黑暗。 现在他意识到他错了；这不是他年少时犯下的惟一错误，但可能是最后发现的一个。他真希望自己能忘记这一发现，因为黑暗并不仅仅是黑暗。他在一生中还从未经历过这样的黑暗。除了能感觉到自己的手和身下的椅子，他似乎是在闪烁的星光间飘荡。他把一只手举到眼前。虽然它已碰到了他的鼻子，可他还是什么也看不到。 他把手从眼前拿开，又抓住了椅子的扶手。他慌乱的心在胸口猛烈地跳个不停。外面，一个沙哑的嗓子喊：“里奇，你他妈的到底在哪儿？安迪像受惊似地缩回椅子，下意识地舔了舔嘴唇。 一两秒钟之后电就来了，他想，但是，理智并不能抚慰他的恐惧。它问道：在黑暗中一两秒是多长？一两分钟是多长？你怎能在一片黑暗之中计算时间？ 在他的房间外面，什么东西摔碎了，有人在又惊又痛地尖叫。安迪又缩回到椅子里。虚弱不堪地呻吟起来。他讨厌这样，这太糟了。 如果他们要用很长时间才能把它修好——重新安装断路器或别的什么——他们得把我放出去。他们必须放我出去。 即使他大脑中被吓坏的那一部分——几乎要混乱的那一部分——也意识到这种想法很有道理，因此放松了下来。不管怎样，这只不过是黑暗——没有了灯光而已。黑暗里并没有怪物或其它东西。 他渴得厉害．他想不知能不能站起来从电冰箱里拿点儿姜汁啤酒。他觉得如果小心些，应该能够做到。于是，他站了起来； 拖着步子向前走了两步。猛地；小腿撞在了咖啡桌上。他弯下腰揉着痛处，疼得险些掉出了眼泪。 这也像小时候，他们玩过一种叫“瞎子”的游戏，他想所有的小孩都玩过。你要蒙着眼睛从屋子的一头走到另一头。当你摔倒时、所有其他人便会哄堂大笑。这个游戏给你一个痛楚的教训，它告诉你你对自以为了如指掌的环境是多么地不熟悉，你对自己眼睛的依靠超出你的想象。这游戏也告诉你如果你瞎了，你生活的这个世界是多么可怕。 “但是，一切都会好的，”安迪想，“只要我慢慢地小心去做。” 他绕过咖啡桌，两只手在前面摸着慢慢向前走去。真滑稽，空地在黑暗中是这么让人害怕。大概灯现在就会亮，那我就会笑话自己了。多滑稽。 "Oh!" 他伸出的手指碰到墙上。吃痛收了回来。厨房门后的那幅画淖了下来，它嗖地一声掉过他身旁，就像剑在黑暗中挥舞，然后砰地落在地上，声音大得吓人。 他站在黑暗中一动不动，举着疼痛的手。受伤的经骨在一阵阵抽痛。恐惧使他口干舌燥。 “嘿！”他喊道，“嘿，别忘了我，你们这些家伙。” 他静等着回答。但却没有回答。隐约还有一片嘈杂声，但现在已离得很远。如果它们离得再远些，他就会处在完全的寂静之中。 他们完全忘了我，他想着，变得更加惊慌不安。 他的心在怦怦地跳，胳膊和额头上不断冒出冷汗。他忽然记起了自己在泰士摩池塘游泳的时候。那时，他很疲惫，可已游得很深，于是他开始一边扑打一边呼救，相信自己要死了，但当他的脚落到池底，才发现水只有胸口深。现在池底在哪？他舔了舔干燥的嘴唇，可舌头也同样的干燥。 “喂！”他拼命大喊一声，但声音中的恐惧使他自己更害怕了。他必须使自己镇定下来。现在他就像只没头苍蝇一样到处乱转。狂呼乱叫．几乎要彻底崩溃。而这一切只不过是因为保险丝断了。 见他妈的大头鬼。为什么在我该吃药的时候停电呢？如果我已经吃了药，我现在会感觉良好。我会什么事都没有的。天哪，就像我的脑袋里都是碎玻璃一样—— 他站在那儿，沉重地喘着粗气。接着，他往房门口走去，但走歪了，撞在了墙上。现在他完全迷了路，甚至已记不得那幅该死的画是挂在厨房门的左边还是右边。他真希望自己一直呆在椅子里。 “镇定。”他大声对自己说，“保持镇定。” 姜汁啤酒。他是来取姜汁啤酒的。无论如何，他要拿到它。 他必须靠什么东西来确定方向，这就是他现在应该做的．姜汁啤酒也会像其它东西一样出现的。 他开始向左边摸去，但立刻绊到了从墙上掉下来的那幅画上。 他尖叫一声摔倒了，胳膊像风车一样转着，徒劳地想保持平衡。最后他的头狠狠地撞在地上，疼痛使他再次大叫起来。 He was terrified.帮帮我，他想。帮帮我，给我一只蜡烛，看在基督份上，帮帮我。我害怕—— 他开始大声喊了起来。他的手摸到头旁边一片湿热粘稠的东西——是血——他带着已经麻木的恐惧想：不知伤得重不重。 “你们在哪！”他大叫着。no answer.他听到——或者他以为他听到——远处的一声大喊，然后一切又都归干沉寂。他摸到了把他绊倒的那幅画，把它扔了出去。画撞到沙发旁的茶几上，把： 上面现在已毫无用处的台灯撞到了地上。灯泡炸了，安迪又一次喊了起来。他摸摸自己的头——血出得更多了，像小溪一样顺着他的脸颊往下滴淌。 他喘着气，开始往前爬，一只手伸在前面寻找着墙壁。当墙蓦然出现在他的手指前时，他猛地缩回手，屏住了呼吸，就像黑暗中会有蛇探出头来咬他一样。恍然间童年时的恐惧又抓住了他，仿佛神话中的精灵们又悄悄包围了他。 “只不过是厨房门而已，他妈的，”他忿忿地嘟嚷道，“如此而已。” 他从厨房门爬了进去。冰箱在右边，他开始向那边气喘吁吁地慢慢摸去，两手在瓷砖上变得冰凉。 头上面什么东西砰地一声砸了下来，发出一声巨响。安迪腾地一下跪了起来。他终于再也坚持不住，开始大喊起来：“救命！ Help!Help! ”一遍又一遍，直到嗓子喊哑。在那黑洞洞的厨房里，他不知道跪着喊了多久。 最后他终于不再喊叫，竭力想使自己镇静下来。他的手和胳膊在无助地颤抖，头依旧疼得厉害，但血好像止住了。这一点多少是个安慰。他的喉咙像脱了皮一样又热又痛，这让他又想起了姜汁啤酒。 他再次向前爬去，却发现冰箱原来就在前面。他把它打开（荒唐地希望里面雪白的灯光像以往一样亮起来），在那冰冷的盒子里摸索那个顶上有把的罐子。Finally, he found it.安迪关上冰箱门靠在上面。他打开罐子，一口就喝下去几乎半罐啤酒。啊，嗓子感觉舒服多了。 突然一个念头袭来，他的嗓子立刻噎住了。 这里着火了。脑海中一个声音冷静地告诉他。这就是为什么没人来救你。他们都撤离了。你，现在……你是无关紧要的，你被抛弃了。 这个念头将他抛到了空前的恐惧中。安迪无助地靠在冰箱上，两腿瘫软无力。有一阵子，他似乎真的闻到了烟味。感到了燥热。他的手已几乎拿不住那罐子，里面的啤酒泊泊地流了出来，浸湿了他的裤子。 安迪一下子瘫坐在地上，大声地呻吟起来。 事后，雨鸟不禁想，即使事先计划过，事情发展也不会更顺利了……而如果那些绝妙的心理学家们还有点几本事的话，他们本应该这样计划的。但无论如何，停电发生得十分幸运，使他能够在恰莉·麦克吉心理上的钢铁盔甲上撬开一个角，放下他的凿子。这全凭运气和他自己敏锐的直觉。 三点半时，他来到恰莉的房间。这正好是外面暴风雨要开始的时候。他推着一辆小车，就是大多数旅馆里从一个房间走到另一个房间的服务生们推的那种。里面有床单。枕中、家具上光油和为地毯上的污迹准备的地毯清洗液，还有水桶和拖把。小车的一端还挂着真空吸尘器。 恰莉只穿着一件明蓝色的短裙，盘着长腿坐在沙发前的地板上，就像坐在莲花宝座上一样。她总是这样坐着。一个局外人会认为她被麻醉了，但雨鸟心里明白。她是稍微吃了一些药，但那只不过比镇静剂强不了多少。所有的心理学家都失望地认为她确实打算坚守誓言，决不再引火。本来，眼药是为了防止她把自己烧死。而现在看起来，她是不会那样做的，或者说她已不打算做任何事。 “嘿，孩子。”雨鸟说着从车上拿下了吸尘器。 恰莉看了看他但没有回答。当他把吸尘器打开后，恰莉优雅地站了起来。她走进洗澡间，把门关上。 雨鸟开始为地毯吸尘。他的头脑里并没有一个确定计划。他要寻找的是微小的迹象和信号，抓住它们，然后乘胜追击。他对这个女孩的崇拜是发自内心的。她的父亲已经变成了一个肥胖、感情淡漠的大蛋糕；心理学家对此有他们自己的一系列术语一一但它最终归结为一点就是他已自暴自弃。现在已完全可以不再考虑此人。但这个女孩没有这样做。她只是把自己隐蔽在了一层们护层下。和恰莉·麦克吉在一起时，雨鸟前所未有地强烈感觉到自己是如此地道的一个印地安战士。他继续干着活儿等她出来——也许她会出来。他觉得现在她走出洗澡间的次数比以前要频繁了。开始时，她会一直藏在里边直到他出去。现在有的时候她会走出来看看他。也许今天她还会这么做，也许不会。他会耐心等待，并寻找机会。 恰莉关着门坐在洗澡间里。如果可能，她会把门锁上．在勤杂工来打扫卫生之前，她正在做一本书上的简单练习。现在她坐在盥洗室的马桶上；马桶显得冰凉。荧光灯的冷冷白光照在镜子上，使一切都显得冰冷：刺眼。 开始时，这儿有一个五十岁左右的女人和她住在一起。此人竭力想做得像母亲一样，可这个“母亲似的伴侣”长着一双严厉的绿眼睛，上面有一些小斑点。这些斑点像冰一样令人心寒。就是这些人杀死了她母亲；现在他们却想让她和这“母亲似的伴侣，'住在一起。恰莉告诉他们她不要这“母亲似的伴侣”，他们只是笑了笑，于是恰莉不再说话了，她一直缄口不语，直到那，'母亲似的伴侣”离开，带走了她含冰点的绿眼睛。恰莉与豪克斯但勒做了一个交易：如果他把“母亲似的伴侣”弄走的话，她会回答他的问题——只是他一个人的。她惟一想要的伴侣是她的父亲，如果她不能得到，那她宁愿一个人独自呆着。 过去的五个月（他们说是五个月；她自己无法判断）从很多角度对她来说都像一场梦。她无法计算时间，一张张面孔来了又去了，像气球一样没给她留下任何记忆，就连吃饭也味同嚼蜡。 有时她觉得自己也像一个气球，在空中漫无目的地四处飘荡。但是她的理智非常明确地告诉她，这是公平的。她是一个谋杀者。 她犯了十戒中最十恶不赦的戒律，注定要下地狱。 夜里躺在床上，她就想着这些。整个房间在昏暗的灯光下本身就像一个梦。过去的一幕幕情景又浮现在眼前：门廊上的人们拼命扑打着头上的火焰；汽车一辆接一辆起火爆炸；燃烧的鸡群在空中飞舞。还有那东西烧焦的糊味，她的特迪熊烧焦的糊味。 （而她却曾经喜欢这样。） 这就是祸根。她这样做得越多就越喜欢它；她这样做得越多就越能感觉它的力量，像一个活生生的东西，越来越强大。仿佛塔尖在下。倒立着的金字塔，越往上便越强大。你做得越多，就越难停下．一旦停下，你会感到痛苦。“（而且这样做使她兴奋。） 她不会再做这件事了。即使死在这里，她也不再这样做了： 她甚至希望死在这儿。毕竟死在梦里并不可怕。 惟一有印象的两张脸是豪克斯坦勒大夫和那个每天来打扫房间的勤杂工的。恰莉曾经问过他是否有必要每天来一次，因为她并不脏。 约翰——这就是他的名字——从他后面的口袋里拿出一个又脏又皱的小本子，从胸前的口袋里拿出一只廉价的圆珠笔。他说：“那是我的工作，孩子。” 但在纸上他写到：因为他们是一堆臭狗屎。 她几乎笑了出来。但一想到头发起火，闻起来像她的特迪熊的那些人，她及时地止住了。笑出来是危险的，所以她只是装做没看见那张条或根本没有理解。勤杂工的脸被毁得一塌糊涂，还戴着眼罩。她为他感到难过，有一次几乎问起他那是怎么回事——是车祸还是别的什么——但那会比因他的纸条发笑更危险。 她不知道这是为什么，但她的每一根神经都这样告诉她。 他的脸看起来虽然可怖，但他本人似乎非常可亲。再说他的“脸并不比哈里森的查基·艾伯哈特更可怕。查基三岁时，他妈妈在烤土豆，他把整个锅都倒在了自己身上，几乎被烫死。后来，别的孩子有时会叫他查基汉堡或查基人型怪，这时查基就会伤心地哭起来。这真残忍。那些孩子似乎不懂像这样的事可能发生在： 任何一个孩子身上。在三岁的时候，没有谁会很聪明。 约翰毁了容的脸并没有吓倒她。是豪克斯坦勒的脸吓坏了她。豪克斯但勒大夫的脸与常人并无二样，但那双眼睛却与众不同。他的眼睛比那个“母亲似的伴侣”更加可怕。他总是用它们来窥探你。豪克斯坦勒想让她点火。他已经求了一次又一次。他把她带到一间屋子，有时那儿会有一堆旧报纸，有时是些盛满油的玻璃盘子或其它的东西。但所有的问题，所有假装的同情最后都归结为一点：恰莉，把它点着。 豪克斯但勒让她害怕。她感到他有各式各样的手段。 强迫她点火。但她不会那样做的，除非她被吓坏了。豪克斯但勒会不择一切手段，他会无所顾忌地强迫她。一天晚上她做了一个梦，在梦里她把豪克斯但勒点燃了。醒来时，她不得不把手塞在嘴里以压住自己恐怖的大叫。 一天，为了推迟那个无休止的要求，她问她何时能见到父亲。这个问题她已经想了很长时间，但一直没问，因为她知道答案是什么，但这天，她心灰意懒，精神极度疲惫，于是这句话便溜了出来。 ……洽莉调我想你知道这个问题的答案。 ”豪克斯但勒说。他指着小屋里桌子上钢盘里的木屑，“如果你点燃它们，我立刻带你去见你的父亲。两分钟后你就会和他在一起。 ”在那双冷酷、审视的眼睛下，他的大嘴咧了开来，“怎么样？ " “给我一根火柴，”恰莉说着感到她的眼泪要掉下来了，“我会点燃它们。” “你只要用你的大脑就可以点燃它。你明白。” “不，我不能。就是能，我也不会这样做。这是不对的。” 豪克斯坦勒遗憾地看着她，他的笑不再那么开心了：“恰莉，为什么这样伤害自己，你不想见你父亲吗？可是他很希望见到你。他让我告诉你他一切都好。” 她哭了，哭得很厉害，哭了很长时间。因为她确实想见他，每时每刻她都在怀念他：都在渴望他双臂的搂抱。豪克斯但勒看着她哭着，脸上毫无同情，歉意或慈爱，只有仔细地审视和算计。嗅，她真恨他。 那已是三个星期以前的事了。从那以后，她固执地不再提起父亲，虽然豪克斯坦勒总是在她面前晃来晃去，告诉她说父亲；良伤心，说他认为点火是正确的。而最坏的是她父亲告诉豪克斯坦勒说他认为恰莉已不再爱他了。 她凝视着镜子里自己灰白的脸，听着吸尘器均匀的嗡嗡声。 清扫完地毯，他会给她换床单，然后再打扫一下，之后他就该走了。突然她不想让他走，她想听他讲话。 起初，她总是躲在洗澡间里直到他离开。有一次他关上吸尘器后，敲了敲洗澡间的门，焦急地问：“孩子，你怎么了，你没生病吧？” 他的声音那么和蔼——而和蔼。真诚的慈爱在这里是如此难能可贵——她不得不勉强使自己的声音保持冷静，因为她的眼泪又要掉下来了，“是的……我很好。” 她等待着，想看看他是否也像其他人那样打算继续深入，企图进入她的内心。但他只是走了开去又打开了吸尘器。她的心里反而有些失望。 又有一次，她走出浴室时他正在洗地板。他头也不抬地说： “小心地板滑，孩子，别把胳膊摔断了。”他就说了这几个字，但她再一次差点惊讶得掉下眼泪来——这样的关心，简单而淳朴决非是有意的。 后来，她走出浴室的次数越来越多，看着他……听他说话。 有时他会问她一些问题，但这些问题从来不让她害怕。绝大多数时候她仍然不会回答，但只是因为这是她的一贯原则。但这并未阻止约翰，他还会接着对她说下去。他会谈他的保龄球，他的狗；谈他的电视怎么坏了，他把它修好要等几个星期，因为他们对那些小管子要价太高。 她猜想他肯定是独身一人。有这样一张脸，他大概不会有妻子或情人。她喜欢听他说话，因为这就像是通往外面世界的一个秘密通道。他的嗓音低沉，音乐般悦耳，有时会带着些疑问。但他从不像豪克斯但勒那样尖锐地盘间。他看起来并不需要恰莉回答。 她从马桶上站起来向门口走去。这时，灯灭了。她一只手扶在门把手上站在那儿，歪着头，一时不知如何是好。她首先感到这又是一个圈套。门外，吸尘器的嗡鸣声渐渐平息下来。接着，约翰的声音说道：“天哪，怎么回事？” 这时，灯又亮了。恰莉站在那里没动。吸尘器再次转了起来。一阵脚步声来到了门边，约翰说：“刚才灯是不是灭了一会儿？” "yes." “我想大概是因为暴风雨吧。” “什么暴风雨？” “我来上班的时候好像要有暴风雨。天上云很厚。” 好像要有暴风雨。Outside.恰莉真希望也能出去看看那乌云，闻闻夏日暴风雨前空气那有趣的味道。湿滤滤的，有一种雨的味道，一切看上去都那么一灯又灭了。 吸尘器停下了。黑暗笼罩了一切。她与世界的惟一联系就是放在门把手上的那只手。她开始若有所思地用舌头敲击着上鄂。 "child?" She didn't answer.这是一个圈套吗？他曾经说过要有一场暴风雨。她也相信是这样。她相信约翰。令人非常惊讶和不安的是经过了所有这些磨难之后，她仍然会相信别人告诉她的话。 “孩子？”他又喊了一次。这次他的声音有些……害怕。 恰莉在黑暗中刚刚开始感到有些害怕，这时听到他不安的声音反而变得平静了些…… “约翰，你怎么了尸她打开门，两手在前面摸索着。她并没有走出门去，因为怕被那吸尘器绊倒。 “出什么事了？”现在他的声音已显得有些惊恐。这把她吓坏了。“灯光呢尸“它们灭了。”她回答说，“你说过……暴风雨……” “我受不了这黑暗。”他说。他的声音含着恐惧和一些歉意。 “你不明白。我不能……我得出去……”她听见他跌跌撞撞跑过起居室。忽然，他猛地撞在了什么东西上，好像是咖啡桌。他疼得叫了起来，这让恰莉更害怕了。 “约翰？约翰！你怎么样？” “我得出去！”他大喊，“让他们放我出去，孩子！” "what happened to you?"