At 2:30 a.m. on Saturday in Los Angeles, Joe Carpenter woke up from a sleepy sleep. He grabbed the pillow and hugged it tightly to his chest, whispering the name of his beloved wife in a very sad voice. I was awakened by my ravings, and the drowsiness disappeared completely. However, the dream did not disappear, and the door seemed to be floating vaguely through a veil. When he realized that Michelle was not in his arms, he hugged the pillow even tighter. The fragrance of Yiren's hair in his dream still lingered in his mind, and he was afraid that any movement would make this memory disappear without a trace, leaving only his overnight comments. Sour.But everything was in vain, the fragrance of Michelle's hair gradually faded, like a rising balloon, it was out of his grasp in an instant.

Joe got up in despair and walked to the two nearest windows. In the darkness, he didn't need to worry about stumbling over any obstacles, because the only furniture in the whole room was his bed, and it was just a mattress on the floor. . This apartment-style suite in the Upper Laurel Canyon area has only one large room, an indoor kitchen, a closet, and an extremely small bathroom.Downstairs is a garage for two cars.After Joe sold the studio house, he didn't bring any furniture with him, because people who are dying don't need to live too comfortably. He paid ten months' rent, just waiting for one day to sleep forever.

The window faces the towering mountain wall of the canyon, and a bright moon in the west shines through the trees and casts silver light on the desolate urban jungle.He Qizi himself has passed these days and is still not dead; but he is not really alive either.Between this half-life and half-death he must find a solution.Because for Joe, this is a road of no return. Taking a cold beer from the fridge, Joe sat back on the mattress against the wall.Drinking beer at 2:30 in the morning, life is too decadent.But he just hoped to drink like this until he died, and under the paralysis of alcohol, he left the world in a daze.But drinking too much would erase his beloved memories, so he only allowed himself a drink.

Apart from the moonlight shining on the glass windows through the branches and leaves, the only source of light in the house was the phone keypad next to the mattress.He knew someone who could listen to him, late at night or during the day.Although Joe is only thirty-seven years old, his parents died young and he has no brothers or sisters. After the sudden disaster happened, many friends tried to comfort him, but he was in no mood to talk to him, and even deliberately Avoidance, so as to offend many people. He picked up the phone and called his mother-in-law Mabeth.Three thousand miles away in Virginia, the other party picked up the microphone at the first ring. "Is that Joe?"

"Did I wake you up?" "Honey, you know I always go to bed early and get up early." "What about Henry?" Joe was referring to Michelle's father. "Hey, that old ghost, even the world war won't wake him up." Her tone was full of emotion.Mabeth is a kind and gentle woman, even facing the pain of losing her daughter, she still gives Joe great sympathy and comfort.She has a superhuman perseverance. At the funeral, both Jo and Henry leaned against her because they had no support, and Beth stood like a monolith.But at midnight that day, Joe was in the backyard of his studio house and found Beth in a morning coat sitting in a swing chair, burying her face in the pillow and sobbing softly.The pillows were brought out from the guest room, in order not to increase the burden on her husband and son-in-law with her grief.Jo sat down beside her and tried to shake her hand or put her arms around her shoulders, but was refused.Beth cringed at any touch.The intense grief nearly broke her nerves, the comforting whispers were like a thunderbolt to her, and the touch of love was like iron on her body.Reluctantly, Jo left Beth's side, picked up a long-handled dredge, and set about dredging the swimming pool.In the middle of the night, they circled the oil and water, salvaging leaves and insects from the dark water.He didn't know what he was doing, he just kept circling and fishing until the surface of the water was empty, only the cold reflected starlight remained.But Beth stopped crying at some point, quietly walked to Joe's side, took the net from his hand, then took him upstairs, and helped him cover the quilt like taking care of a child.After so many days, Joe finally got a good night's sleep.

Now, Jo sits with a half-drunk beer and calls her far away. "Beth, is it daylight over there?" "It's just been lit for a while." "Are you sitting at the kitchen table looking out the window? It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" "It's still black to the west, with indigo blue overhead, and a mix of pink, crimson, and royal blue to the east, like Japanese silk." Beth had always been strong, and Jo often called to check on her, not hoping to gain strength from her, but to listen to her talk.Beth's special timbre and soft Virginia day voice are exactly like Michelle's.

"Just now you called my name as soon as you picked up the phone..." he said. "Honey, who else would call this early?" "Am I the only one who calls this early?" "Others will, too, but very few. But there will be no one but you this morning." Tragedy happened one year ago today and their lives have been changed forever. This is the first anniversary since losing them. "Jo, I wish you'd eat more," said Beth, "are you still losing weight?" "No." He lied to her. For the past year, he has suffered from anorexia.Three months ago, his weight dropped dramatically, and he has lost a full twenty pounds so far. "Is it hot over there?" he asked. "It was hot and humid, a little cloudy in the sky, but it wasn't raining, so it didn't help.

The clouds in the east are now gilded and pink all over, and the sun is showing its face. ""It doesn't seem like a year has passed, does it, Beth? ""Well, yes, but sometimes it feels like years have passed. " "I miss them so much," he said. "I feel so empty without them." "Oh, Joe, Henry and I love you, you are our son, you are our son." "I know, I love you too. But it's not enough, Beth, it's not enough." He took a deep breath, "I've been living in hell this year, and I really don't know how to face the future .”

"Time will heal your pain." "I'm afraid not. Beth, I'm so afraid. Afraid to be alone." "Joe, have you ever thought about going back to work?" Before the accident, he was a crime reporter for the Los Angeles Research Post.Of course, his journalistic career was over. "Beth, I can't see the body anymore." He didn't have the courage to end his life because Joe didn't believe in an afterlife.He didn't believe that he could really be reunited with his wife and daughter in a heaven full of light and love.Lately, whenever he gazed at the night sky, he saw distant stars hanging in meaningless void.However, he can't question it, because if this is the case, it means that the lives of Michelle and the children will really become meaningless.

"We came into this world for a purpose," Beth said. "They were my purpose, but they all went." "Then for you, there is another purpose, you have to find it, and there must be a reason why you are still alive." "What's the point," said he, "Beth, tell me what the weather is like now." She hesitated for a while and said, "The clouds in the east are no longer golden, and the pink color has faded. Now they are pale white clouds floating in the blue sky." He listened to Beth describe the morning on the other side of the continent, and then the conversation turned to fireflies, which she and Henry had enjoyed staring at together in the backyard the night before.There are no fireflies in Southern California, but Joe remembered seeing them in Pennsylvania one year ago.They also talked of the strawberries in Henry's garden being ripe, and by this time Jo was a little drowsy, and only heard Beth's last words: "It's daylight now, and the morning is leaving me for you, Jo." , you have to seize the opportunity that every morning brings you to pursue your goals and ideals.”

Joe hung up the phone, lay on his side on the bed and stared out the window where Yuehua had passed away.At this time, the bright moon has set, and he is in the dark night.After entering the dreamland, what he dreamed was not some glorious goals and ideals, but an indescribable invisible pressure descending from the sky, pressing heavily on his body.