Chapter 36 Part 2 Meek Mike Cemetery

When Jesus arrived in Bethany, he found Lazarus in the tomb for four days.When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she hurried to meet him. Martha said, "Lord, if you had been here earlier, my brother would not have died. But even now, I know that whatever you ask God, God will give you." Jesus answered him, "Your brother will rise again." --"Gospel of John" "Hey-ho, let's go." — Ramones Thirty-six It may be wrong to think that there are limits to the horrors experienced by man. On the contrary, although people hate to admit it, it seems that the sense of terror experienced by people is in many cases a double disaster. Horrific scenes would follow one after another, many times something sinister, until at the end it seemed as if everything was cast into a ghastly darkness.And the most frightening question is how much the human brain can withstand fearful things and still maintain a normal state of sobriety. There may be a limit point. At this point, the human mind will either save itself or have a mental breakdown. become delirious.

If Lewis had been able to think rationally as he held his son Gage's funeral on May 17, he might have had those thoughts.But Louis lost his mind that day in the funeral home foyer. He got into a fight with his father-in-law, and Rachel lost control of herself. Ri pulls out, and Hardu later sedates her in the break room. Ironically, if she had come during the morning condolences, she would not have seen the horrific scene of her husband fighting with her father, but she came during the afternoon condolences, and she didn't come in the morning Because she was too sad to come.Chad and Steve stayed at home with her.Without Chad and Steve, Louis doesn't know how he would have spent the 48 hours he had just lost his son.

Steve showed up just in time that day and was of great help to Louis and the two remaining members of his family.With nothing to decide, Louis didn't even think of giving his wife a sedative to calm her deep grief, and Louis didn't even notice that Rachel wanted to mourn her son in her wrong-buttoned smock.Her hair was a mess, and her eyes were sunken and darkened, as if they were the eyes of a living skeleton.She sat at the dinner table that morning, chewing unbuttered toast and talking incoherently meaningless words.At one point she said out of the blue, "Louise, as for that Winnebago you want to buy—" The last time Lewis mentioned about buying a Winnebago was in 1981.

Louis just nodded and went on to eat his own breakfast.He was drinking a bowl of Coco Bear's oatmeal, Gage's favorite porridge in the past, and Louis wanted it this morning, and it tasted terrible, but he wanted it anyway.He was neatly dressed in his best suit, which wasn't black; Louis didn't have black eyes, but at least it was a dark charcoal gray.He had washed, shaved and combed his hair, and although his son's death had hit him hard, he looked fine. Elle is wearing blue jeans and a yellow shirt.She is holding a large photo and is sitting at the dining table.The photo was taken on Allie's birthday.In the photo, Ellie is pulling her sled, and Gage is sitting on the sled in his ski suit, smiling at Ellie, who is smiling back at Gage, with his mouth open.Ellie holds the photo, but doesn't say much.

Louis was too distressed to see what was happening to his wife and daughter.As he ate his breakfast, he kept replaying the accident over and over in his mind, only it had a different ending, he was thinking that he was moving a little faster than he actually was, and all that happened was Gage getting a slap in the ass Hit because they yelled for Gage to stop and he didn't. It was Steve who saw Rachel and Ellie's state of mind, and he didn't let Rachel see Gage in the morning (although that's not the right word to use here, because Gage's coffin is closed, Louis Think. If it was on, they'd all run out of the room in fright, including himself).Steve didn't let Ali go.Rachel argues about going, and Ally just sits quietly with a heavy heart, holding the photo of her with Gage in one hand.

It was Steve who gave Rachel a shot of a sedative, which was just what she needed, and it was Steve who gave Ellie a spoonful of colorless liquid medicine, which, no matter what it was, would make her She was about to cry and protest, but this time she drank quietly and without making a bitter face.At 10 o'clock that morning, she fell asleep in her bed, holding a photo of her and Yiji in her hand.Rachel was sitting in front of the TV, watching Wheels of Fortune, she was stone-sluggish when she answered Steve's words, but the brooding madness was gone from her face, quarter past eight in the morning , Steve saw that look when he came and it scared him.

Chad, of course, made all the arrangements, as calmly and efficiently as he had planned his wife's funeral three months earlier.But Steve pulled Louis aside before he was due to leave for the funeral home and said, "If Rachel recovers any better, I'll see and take her there this afternoon." "OK." "The sedative is about to wear off. Your friend Mr. Crandall said he was at home with Ellie during the afternoon of mourning." "right." "—he'll talk to Allie or something—" "Ok." "but--" "OK." Steve stopped, and they stopped in the garage.Church was shuffling to and fro, where there were often dead birds and rats after his prey.Louis has it all.In the May sunshine outside the garage, a robin hopped across the end of the driveway, as if something important had happened.Maybe it has something to do.

Steve said, "Louis, you have to mourn." Louis looked at Steve politely with doubts, not quite sure what Steve said, he was still thinking that he could save his son a little faster. Steve said, "I don't think you've noticed that Elle hasn't said a word, and Rachel has been so devastated that she has almost no sense of time." "Yes!" Louis said, uttering the word with great force, as if to imply that he didn't know why. Steve put his arm around Louis' shoulder and said, "Louis, they need you now more than ever. Please, oh - I could give your wife a shot, but - you know - Louis , you got- oh, God, Louis, it's fucking bad!"

Louis saw Steve panicking like he was about to start crying.He said, "Indeed." He still had Gage running across the grass to the road in his mind, and he and his wife yelled for him to come back, but the son didn't—his favorite game lately was from Mom and Dad ran away.Later, Louis and his wife went after their son. Louis quickly pulled Rachel behind, but there was still a long way to Gage. Gage laughed and ran further away from Dad. He thought he was playing. game.Louis was already running close to his son, but he was still a step too slow. Gage had already run out of the grass and reached the side of Highway 15. Louis really hoped that his son would fall down. The child ran too fast and almost fell down, because people It is not until the age of seven or eight that the legs and feet can be flexibly controlled by the brain.Louis hoped that Gage would fall, yes, it wouldn't matter if he fell bloody, because Louis heard a truck rumbling towards them, a ten-wheeler, and he let out a shriek. Ki's name, he believed his son had heard him, and Geki might have tried to stop.He seems to have realized that this is not a game of chasing, in which parents will not scream at him, he wants to stop, but then the sound of the truck is so loud that it almost fills the world, like thunder Same.Louis jumped forward, like the eagle kite swooped when he flew the kite the other day, and he felt his fingertips touch Gage's shirt, but the inertia of Gage's forward running brought him to the road.The truck roared and the driver honked desperately, but it was too late.That happened on Saturday, three days ago.

Louis said to Steve, "I'm fine, I should go now." Steve wiped his eyes with his sleeve and said, "If you can pull yourself together and help your wife and daughter, you'll be better too, Louis, you three have to get through this together, it's the only way, everyone We all know." "Yes," Louis agreed, but the image of Gage running down the road flashed through his mind.Only this time he took two last steps and caught Gage's clothes just in time, but it was just his hallucination. When Louis got into an argument with his father-in-law in the funeral home, Ellie was at home with Chad, silently and aimlessly pushing a toy scorer, rolling dice with one hand, and clutching her and Gage's hand with the other. A group photo.

Steve decided that Rachel had calmed enough to attend the afternoon condolences.But what happened later made him regret it, and felt that Rachel should not have gone. The Goldmans flew to Bangor that morning and stayed at the Holiday Inn.By noon, Rachel's father had called four times, and Steve had to get tougher each time; by the fourth time it was a little threatening.Mr. Goldman said nothing would stop his daughter from seeing Rachel when she needed them.Steve replies that Rachel needs some time to quiet down before going to the funeral home and not to be stimulated any longer.As Louis's doctor's assistant, he wouldn't let anyone into Louis's house to bother Rachel unless she wanted to leave the house herself.Steve said he would be happy to have the Goldmans babysit their daughter after afternoon condolence time.Before that, he would leave Rachel alone for a while. Mr. Goldman scolded Steve angrily, and put down the phone with a bang. Steve waited to see if Goldman would actually come, but apparently Goldman took the option of waiting. Way.At noon, Rachel did look better, at least she had the right sense of time, and she went to the kitchen to see if there was any sandwiches or something to eat, and she asked Steve if people might come back after the funeral and need to eat Want something?Steve nodded. There is no red sausage in the refrigerator.Roast or something, but there was a turkey, and Rachel took it out and put it on the dripping plate to melt, and after a few minutes, Steve looked into the kitchen and saw Rachel still standing by the sink, staring at the turkey crying.Steve called her, "Rachel?" She looked at Steve and said, "Gage's favorite. He loves chicken. I just realized he's never going to eat turkey again." Steve walks Rachel upstairs to change, a test of her ability to handle going to the funeral home.Rachel came down in a waist-tie dress and a small black tote bag, and Steve decided Rachel was all right, and so did Chad. Steve drove her into town.When they got to the funeral home, he and Hardy stood on the porch of the east room and watched Rachel ghost like a ghost down the aisle to Gage's coffin covered with flowers. Hadou whispered, "Steve, how are things going?" Steve said hoarsely, "It sucks, what do you think?" Hardu sighed and said, "I think it might be too bad." The bad stuff actually happened during the morning condolences.Louis seeing so many friends and relatives really took some of the shock out of his son's death and forced his attention to what was going on.He walked around doing what the undertaker told him to do.There is a small lounge off the East Hall where people can sit and rest or smoke.By the door to the condolence hall was a shelf, gilded, with a plaque on it that read Gage William Creed.Downstairs is the coffin display room, with a lamp above each sample.If you look up, it looks like many monsters live there. On the third day after Gage died on Sunday, Chad accompanied Louis to the funeral home and chose a mahogany coffin with pink ribbons.The undertaker asked Louis if he had thought about paying for Gage's funeral, and if not, they could go to the office and see the three common payment procedures they had in place. Suddenly a voice in Louis's head said cheerfully: I can get Gage's coffin for free like a coupon! Louis felt dreamy and said, "I'll pay for everything with my universal card." The undertaker said, "Okay." The coffin is only 4 feet long, it is a small coffin, but the price is more than 600 US dollars.Louis thought there should be a bracket underneath, but the flowers on it were all covered up, making it difficult to see clearly, and Louis didn't want to go closer to see it. The smell of flowers made him want to vomit. At the end of the passage, just by the door to the lounge, there was a shelf with a book on it, and a grease pen attached to the shelf.The undertaker made Louis stand here so he could say hello to his relatives and friends, who were supposed to write down their names and addresses in their notebooks.It had never occurred to Louis what this ridiculous custom was for, and he didn't want to ask now.He thought maybe after the funeral he and Rachel would keep the book, which was the most absurd.He has a high school yearbook, a college yearbook, a medical school yearbook, and a wedding yearbook at home.The first photo in the wedding album shows Rachel sitting in front of a mirror with the help of her mother in her wedding veil, and the last photo shows two pairs of shoes outside a hotel room door.There's also Elle's baby year book - there's a photo of "My First Haircut" with a lock of the child's hair next to it, and a photo of Ellie with "Plop" The scene of falling ass. Now, we have to add this book again, what shall we call it?Louis stood numbly by the stand, thinking, waiting for the ceremony to begin.Call it My Death Book? "Funeral Records"?Or "The Day Gage Was Buried"?Or perhaps something more solemn, like Death in the Family? Louis flipped the book back to the cover, which was the same as the cover of his wedding album, fake leather, and the cover was blank. Almost as expected, Mrs. Dandrich was the first to come to offer her condolences that day. She was kind enough to see Gage and Allie countless times.Louis found himself remembering that she had babysat the two children the night Pascoe died.Rachel had fondled him that night, first in the bathroom and then in bed. Mrs. Dandelitz has been crying, crying very sadly.Seeing Louis's quiet and sad face, she burst into tears again, reaching out her hand as if to grab Louis and find someone to rely on.Luis embraced her, realizing that it was the right thing to do, that it should be done, that it would ease the pain in one's heart. "I'm so sad," said Mrs. Dandleridge, and pushed her dark hair over her pale face behind her ears. "Such a good kid, so sweet, Luis, I love him so much. It's so sad. That horrible road, I wish they put that truck driver in prison forever, he was driving so fast .Gage is so sweet and so smart. I don't know why God took him. We don't understand, do we? But it's a pity, I'm so sad." Louis hugged her and comforted her.He felt that her tears were all on his collar, and her chest was against his body.Mrs. Dandleridge wondered where Rachel was.Louis told her Rachel was resting at home.Mrs. Dandleridge promised to come and see her, and said she was always available to watch over Allie if they needed it, and Louis thanked her.Mrs. Dandridge was still sobbing, her eyes were redder than ever, and she was leaving with a black handkerchief to go to Yi Kee's coffin when Louis called her back.The undertaker had told Louis to put the names of those who came to pay their respects in that book.He'd be damned if he didn't get people to sign it. Mysterious guest, please sign.Louis thought, almost laughing hysterically. Mrs. Dandleridge's pained and sad eyes dispelled that thought from Louis.He said, "Ma'am, can you sign this book?" As if something was missing, Louis added, "For Rachel." "Of course," said Mrs. Dandleridge, "poor Louis and Rachel." Suddenly Louis realized what she was going to say next, and for some reason he was afraid she would say it, but Mrs. Dandleridge said it anyway. "Thank God Gage didn't suffer, Louis, at least he died quickly." The words hit his bleeding wound like a bullet, and he wanted to say to her, "Yes Yes, it was soon. It was too soon, so the coffin had to be closed, and Rachel and I agreed to let the undertaker restore my son's face as well as they could, but to no avail. It was soon, my dear Mrs. Dandridge, he was running on the road, and in the blink of an eye, he was lying on the road. The truck hit him, killed him, and dragged him a good hundred feet. You still Said quickly. Dragged the length of a football field. Madam, I ran behind, calling his name over and over again, and I, a doctor, seemed to expect him to live. I ran 10 feet Finally, I saw his baseball cap; after I ran 20 feet, I saw one of his sneakers; after I ran 40 feet, the big truck drove off the road, and the trunk crashed into the Lingers family's field People ran out of the house. Ma'am, I continued to call his name. After running 50 feet, I saw his jumpsuit, which was inside out and face in. When I ran 70 feet away, Saw another shoe, and then I saw Gage." But Louis didn't say it. Suddenly he felt that the world was dark, Louis could not see anything clearly, and vaguely he felt that he had grasped the shelf where the book was placed. "Louis?" Mrs. Dandelitz's voice seemed far away.A mysterious pigeon whistle rang in his ears. "Louis?" The voice was closer now, but panicked. The world unfolded before my eyes again. "Are you all right, Louis?" Louis smiled and said, "It's all right, I'm fine, ma'am." Dandrich signed her own name and her husband's name, and wrote the address, then looked up Louise's eyes, and then lowered them again, as if her home address was on the road where Gage was killed. It's like a sin. "Take care, Louis," she whispered. Mr. Dandridge shook hands with Louis, muttered a few words, saw his protruding throat move up and down, and followed his wife hurriedly to Gage's coffin, ready to mourn Gage. Later, many people came, and they walked in in a line.Louis shook their hands, embraced them, received their mourning and their tears, his collar and half his sleeves wet, and the smell of flowers filled the room.Counting in his own mind, he was told a total of 32 times that Gage didn't suffer and died quickly.People told him 25 times that God works in His own mysterious ways.This is followed by Gage is now with the Angels, which is said 12 times. Every time Louis heard these words, he should have become more and more indifferent, but he seemed to have been hit hard, and his spirit became more and more nervous. By the time his father-in-law and mother-in-law came, Louis had already begun to feel like a man in armor. fighter. His first thought when he met Rachel's parents was that Rachel was right, Mr. Goldman looked much older.how old is he 58 years old, 59 years old?Today he looks like he is nearly 70 years old.Rachel came back from Thanksgiving and said her father had aged a lot, and Louis hadn't expected to be this old.Of course, Louis thought, maybe he wasn't so bad at Thanksgiving.The old man had a granddaughter and a grandson at that time. Rachel's mother walks beside her father, wearing a thick black veil that obscures her face, and her hair is the fashionable blue that is favored by older ladies of upper class America. kinds of colors.She took her husband's arm.All Louis could see were the tears beneath her veil. Suddenly Louis decides it's time to reconcile, to let the past go, and he can't forget the past.He felt that the previous jealousy was too heavy, and he wanted to get rid of it.So he said, "Erwin, Dolly, thank you for coming." Then he reached out to shake Rachel's father's hand, and at the same time, wanted to give her mother a hug, or maybe even both of them at the same time.Anyway, he thought his eyes filled with tears for the first time, and he had the whimsical idea that he could make up with Rachel's parents and that Gage's death would facilitate their reconciliation, like those who like to read romance. As the ladies of the story have read, the price of death is often reconciliation, which is more helpful than endless stupid hatred. Dolly came up to him and started a motion of reaching out her arms to Louis, and said, "Oh, Louis—" the words choked up.But at that moment, Goldman pulled his wife back, and for a moment the three of them stood there as rigid as a stage figure, though of course no one noticed it, only they knew it.Louis stretched out his arms, and the Goldmans stood rigid, like two wedding cakes. Louis saw that there were no tears in his father-in-law's eyes, but a glint of hatred (Does he think I killed Gage to get revenge on him, Louis wondered).Those eyes seemed to scrutinize Louis, seeking to find in him the villain who had bluntly abducted his daughter and brought her these pains, and then Mr. Goldman looked away again.His eyes moved to Louis' left, actually to see Gage's coffin, and only then did his eyes soften. Louis made one last effort and said, "Erwin, Dolly, please let us bear this pain together." "Louis," said Dolly again.Louis thought it was said kindly, but then the two of them walked away from Louis.Perhaps Mr. Goldman had pulled his wife away without looking left or right, and certainly not at Louis.As they approached the coffin, Goldman fumbled in the pocket of his suit coat and produced a black chamber cap. Louis thought, you didn't sign the book, and then he felt a sudden sour taste like a malignant disease in his stomach, and his face was distorted in pain. Finally, the morning condolence time is over.Louis calls home, Chad answers, he asks how it's going, and Louis says it's fine.He told Chad to talk to Steve.Steve took the phone and said, "If Rachel can get her funeral clothes ready and dressed herself, I'll take her to your place this afternoon. Are you okay?" "It's fine," Louis said. "Louis, are you really okay? Don't talk nonsense, just tell me, how are you?" Louis said curtly, "It's okay, I can handle it." He said to himself, I got everyone to sign, and everyone, except Rachel's parents, they won't sign. Steve said, "Okay, listen, let's find you for lunch?" Let's have lunch together.It was an idea that Lewis seemed to have read as a teenager in a sci-fi novel about the old custom of the people on Quark Planet, where if a child died, they would have a meal together. "Of course," Louis said, "Steve, which restaurant is better? Which restaurant to go to during this period of condolences?" "Louis, relax," Steve said, though he sounded more relaxed than he had been in the morning.At such moments, Louis felt he could observe people better than ever.Fantasy, maybe, but now he suspects that Steve might think that a little sarcasm might be a better way to lighten the mood than his incoherent babble in the morning. "Don't worry," Louis said to Steve. "How's Benjamin's?" "Sure," Steve said, "It's nice there." Louis made the phone call in the funeral home's office. After the phone call, he passed the East Hall on his way out, and saw that almost everyone in the hall had left. Only Rachel's parents sat in the chairs in the front row with their heads bowed. As if to sit there forever. It was a good choice to choose Benjamin's Restaurant, Bangor is an early lunch city, and by about one o'clock, the restaurant was almost empty.Chad, Steve and Rachel came together.The four of them ate fried chicken.Once Rachel went to the bathroom for a long time, which made Steve very nervous.He almost asked the waitress to check on Rachel to see if she was okay.At that moment Rachel walked back to the table, her eyes red. Louis ate a few mouthfuls of his share of chicken, but drank a lot of beer.Chad drank bottle after bottle with him without saying much. Meals for four barely moved.Through her strange insight, Louis saw that the waitress wanted to ask if the food was good, and finally she took a look into Rachel's red eyes and decided not to ask.While drinking coffee, Rachel suddenly said something that surprised everyone, especially Louis, who was a little drowsy after drinking beer and seemed to be falling asleep.He heard Rachel say, "I'm going to donate all of Gage's clothes to the Salvation Army at the Church of Christ." Steve said after a while, "Really?" Rachel said, "Yeah, there's plenty of clothes left to wear. All the jumpsuits—his corduroys—his shirts. Someone'd want those, they'd last a long time Well. Except for the one he was wearing that day, of course, and that suit was... ruined. The last words turned into sobs of pain, and Rachel tried to cover them up with some coffee, but to no avail.After a while she covered her face with her hands and began to cry. What followed was a strange and tense time when all attention seemed to be on Louis, who was puzzled for a moment, then realized that they were waiting for him to comfort his own wife.He couldn't comfort his wife, and although he wanted to and he knew it was his duty to comfort her, he still couldn't.It was the cat that was occupying his mind.That damn cat, it's always tearing up mice and birds it catches.When Louis found the wreckage, he cleaned it up right away, without complaint, without criticism, and certainly without protest.After all, he found it himself.But did he ask for his son's death? He saw his fingers, and Louis saw his fingers slide over Gage's shirt, and then Gage's shirt was gone, and then Gage was dead.Louis looked at his coffee mug, with his wife crying beside him, and he didn't try to comfort her. After a while—perhaps a short time on the watch, but it seemed a long time in retrospect then and later—Steve put an arm around Rachel and hugged her gently. ,comfort her.Steve looked at Louis with anger and blame in his eyes, and Louis avoided Steve's eyes and looked at Chad, but Chad looked down as if he was ashamed, and Louis was helpless.